Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Friday, 21 April 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Na wah!!!





NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE

OVERCOMING SHYNESS IN A RELATIONSHIP


Good Stella!
Hope you are well.
Will like to seek advice from you and BVs.
I met someone through a cousin I actually wrote to the house for advice on whether to go join him to a wedding in a nearby town remember the girl and her Ideal man list! Back to present day we met for the first time December 31st and he scored more points on my List.

 Last month I got a break from work and visited him at his base, he was a good host and d guy amazed me I just had to fall in love. The problem is that he doesn't really know how to express himself and unfortunately I have same problem. So many things I want to say to him but just can't and am sure he is having same issue:

Bvs how do I overcome dis part of me cos I don't want to spoil something dis beautiful and Stella i don throway my Ideal man list oo dis guy makes dat list look cheap.

Please I need real help dis issue have been making me restless since I returned from my trip.


...................................................................................



NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
CHRONICLE OF A NEW MOTHER

Hello Stella,

Thank you so much for this wonderful platform. You have been a blessing to me and many others beyond words. I barely comment but trust I'm always tuned in. God bless you!

Straight to my little issue.
I'm married to a calm, loving, and God fearing man who seems to be too much of an introvert (I'm also an introvert) and it seems to be affecting our relationship cos rather than talk and probably have an argument (i argue a lot though I'm trying to curb it) which is the highest that can happen he prefers to keep things to himself unless/until it's too much for him before he'll open up.

Through out this week he has been returning home late which is unlike him but I felt it was due to work load cos his boss travelled. This night he got home late while I was about to bath our baby so I told him to be patient for me to finish with the baby. While I was at it, he checked the pot and noticed I hadn't prepared dinner yet and the next thing he said he wanted to go to a salon but I knew he was actually going out to find something to eat. Mind you I was very hungry too oh.


 After i finished tending to our baby I called him to return home so he can hold baby while i cook. He sounded surprised and asked what I wanted to cook then said I shouldn't bother myself with cooking since it's about 9pm only for him to return with nothing meanwhile he had eaten something. 


We had a bit of an argument and I was upset because we had previously discussed this scenario due to the situation of things and I expected him to know that my not preparing dinner on time wasn't on purpose. I usually cook while baby is asleep but this evening was just off and there was no electricity the whole day plus he is teething so I abandoned all I was doing to tend to him while I waited for hubby to return.

Before anyone queries me for not preparing dinner on time (which doesn't happen often) let me explain a few things. I lost the job i got through this blog after i put to bed simply because they don't want baby drama and my little bisness also suffered. Before then i was the one catering for us up until second quarter of last year (just before i went on maternity leave) when God willing he got a job. Though it isn't paying up to half of what I was earning, with God on our side we have been managing it since then while I'm still searching.


We stay in a very small apartment, with one entrance/exit door, that burns like an oven even when there is electricity cos air doesn't come through and we have just a small standing fan. When there is no electricity is talk for another day as we can't afford to use a gen. We can't afford baby items either and I'm alone so I can barely do much except baby is asleep and comfortable. Mind you two of our neighbor's gen sets are by our window so we sleep and wake with so much noise plus heat every single night.


Backing him to attend to chores isn't much of an option cos he doesn't feel comfortable on my back due to so much heat and I have a back problem too so backing him hurts me and because of this I was forced to borrow some cash and got a high chair a BV put up for sale on the blog. Even at that, i can't force him to sit in it when he starts feeling very uncomfortable and mind you the floor isn't very conducive for him to crawl around freely either.

Now i know that he must have been very tired and hungry however was I out of line by getting upset with his action knowing the situation of things and considering the fact that we had discussed such previously?

I still prepared the meal while he put baby to sleep and then went to bed.

Stella pls bare with me if i am requesting for too much. May I use this opportunity to request for anyone who has or knows of an apartment (mini flat) going for about 150 to 200k or less without agency fee please in a conducive environment around Surulere or Badagry axis to pls drop a contact urgently through Stella. Thank you.

Queen I know what you will say so pls save your strength for another.



144 comments:

ukwu dimond said...

I have my pop corn, with a glass of home made juice, reading chronicles. Hope today's chronicles will be hot.

ukwu dimond said...

Poster since you cannot express yourself to a guy you love toor maybe you don't want to be with him you can send him text messages or chat him to express yourself.

BECKY DIVINE said...

Poster one..

What do you mean? Are you both dumb? Lol I'm joking

Since the both of you can't express yourselves, then you both should resort to writing! Buy a diary for you two, write yours and keep for him to read...then he should do same!

That way you don't have to bother saying those things. Problem solved.. You're welcome!

Daenerys_targaryen(For your organic soap and cream😍😍 what's app 08112237061) said...

The both of you don't have a problem.

Blackberry said...

Lord jesus! Fix it.

Blackberry said...

Lord jesus! Fix it.

BIPOLAR ME said...

Lol...

Poster 1. You are infatuated.

Poster 2. I think your last paragraph is the koko...you knew all would ask why you didn't make dinner, so you gave a long list of "why" you shouldn't be blamed.

What is the ish now? You already sorted it out.

Let those with housing connections reply you.

Queen, Dem say make you no talk, but I sabi your way....oya..do your thing. Lol

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

Poster 1 if you want to overcome shyness look yourself in a mirror and talk to your mirror every morning, then ask the mirror questions and see if it will answer you. Dont you talk to people or neighbours or your colleagues; take style ask them how dem dey manage hold conversation with their boyfriends, side chicks, sugar daddies etc.

Poster 2... chai sorry about that. I can imagine having generator close to your windows. The noise alone is enough to make someone go crazy. Very wrong for two soft people to marry ooo. I wonder how una voice go be like: Mosquitoes singing hahahahaha. Abeg no vex

I pray you get a good place so that you can have your peace.

Gifty said...

Poster one I think conversations will him will be the best way to remove shyness .

Poster 2-No comment.

FIRMOUS NATION said...

First chronicler keep behaving like mumu no shine ur eyes.... Keep closing thy mouth no talk until one sharp babe come collect ur unexpressive man.
2nd chronicler ucomplain alot jor

Ebizimor Egbejule said...

poster two your wahΓ la to much ooo since you justifying your self it means you don't need any advice. Na u sabi ooooo

Atheist ™ said...

*Side eyes at todays chronicle*
Hello BVs.

BECKY DIVINE said...

Poster two..

Hmm it's well
But my dear, I'd like you to know that with all these problems you've listed here. There are loads of people out there that you are much better than, try to appreciate your man more and appreciate the little you have.

Learn to curb your tongue, don't drive him away further because you are stressed with life. It won't do you any good if you lose a good man cos you can't handle the things life's thrown at you. Make sure the love and peace reigns always, eventually things will be better for you guys!

May helpers from all over locate you, it's well with you. Hugs

DoppelgΓ€nger said...

Poster 1 communication is key for any relationship to be successful else it will fail even before the starts. If you have anything to say say it and not wait till things have gotten very bad or when you're upset before saying It because then it will be too late to mend things.
Also, try to get him to express himself instead of assuming on his behalf. Let him say things he means. If he can't say it then ask him to type it and same goes for you.

Poster 2 you can't get a mini-flat for that price in Surulere. You'd need about 350k - 400k.
Even Yaba you won't get a mini flat except shomolu/bariga axis.
Anyway, didn't you and oga date? I'd think that he'd be more helpful since you just had a baby. If he went out to eat, he could have bought food for you too. There is no big deal about it. In fact this is another way couples bond. While you tend to the baby, he whips something up in the kitchen for you both to eat.
You need to talk to him about this in bed while you both are chilling. Tell him how you think he can help you both.
Unless he doesn't know how to cook I don't see why he can't help you out in that aspect.
Also, stop getting upset. You both are first time parents and it takes time to adjust.
Try to be understanding also, since you knew his financial capabilities before you married him. You're dropping too many complaints at the same time. From hubby, to stuffy apartment and lack of baby items.
Please take it easy ko, people will assume you sent in this to beg.

sexy Daddy said...

The posters una no get whala.I know what's you guys problems?that's to much zeeworld and Telemundo

Uriel (Freshdew) said...

Poster 2 i understand your 1001 reasons. But you have to try and prepare his food, he has been working all day to come back to an empty pot - not fair.

stunning slim shady said...

Kronicles ti de

ukwu dimond said...

Poster two all you and your hubby need is understanding, do not feel as if your condition is the worst, alot of people are suffering more than you do but chill things will get better,.

Men do not really understand that a woman is not their house maid but their wife, they should treat them with respect, understand that is not easy to handle kids and still prepare their meals, they should learn to assist at home. Poster still have heart to heart discussion with him, express yourself to him, apologize and let it go, he is your husband, just learn to ignore somethings. God will give you a good job.

Anonymous said...

You want to use style to beg here. Na we send you say make you marry broke ass horseband? You guys were broke instead of you two should wait for God to bless you people b4 having a baby, una go born pikin. And you will be one of those tout insult those that can feed you. Chikito 'are you seeing what I am sawing?"

Cynthia Iyede said...

2. Honestly I feel so sorry for all you're going through and all I can say is that God will make things alright for your family. It is well.

Anonymous said...

You want to use style to beg here. Na we send you say make you marry broke ass horseband? You guys were broke instead of you two should wait for God to bless you people b4 having a baby, una go born pikin. And you will be one of those tout insult those that can feed you. Chikito 'are you seeing what I am sawing?"

Anonymous said...

To the first poster:

When a young intending couple think only about sex, there is bound to be a lot of this bottled up unexpressed feelings. Get to work on the courtship through meaningful invigorating discussions about the future of this "home" you intend to establish. Get to pray, study the scriptures together, share experiences and blend; that is the way of mutual expression. You will do the sex when you are married.

Poster two.

A wise woman build her home but the foolish one with her own hands tears hers down.

Bee10 said...

Na wa

Bee10 said...

Sexy daddy stopeeet πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ

Anonymous said...

Exactly, she needs to open her mind to take correction.

I am king EZE said...

Poster 1 -try by telling him those things via text messages ,that way he will reply ..... some people are more comfortable expressing themselves via text messages.in the long run am sure you will overcome it.
Poster 2-talk .if you can tell him all this things you sent here in a calm and matured tone,you can put in a puppy face to endear pity.am sure he will come around!

Anonymous said...

I swear poster 2 no get problem she's just making a mountain out of a mole hill. Be thankful for the little you have and it will definately increase.

Anonymous said...

Yori Yori Lemme perch here pls.
Poster 2; WTF d'u mean by your husband shuld come home and hold the baby so you can cook. Like damn... so if you leave the baby on his/her own will the baby die?!!! Mtchewww... l hate people like you. Bloody whiners! Eishhhh.

DoppelgΓ€nger said...

For 200k, you can get around Satallite town after Festac and if you don't want to pay agency you'd need to find a house where you can meet the landlord directly and that will be hard.
For less than 200k thats face me I slap you size and they have lots of houses like that around that area where Trade Fair is, just before the Ojo military cantonment. They also use generators there o but all the best

Sweet Child said...

Poster two take it easy, one child and you have all these complain hmmm. Cooking doesnt require 24hrs monitoring, you can keep baby wash rice and come out. Take it easy, we know it is not easy.

Anonymous said...

Another mad BV

abraham akpan said...

biko madam stella i don sen my SYB....

jelly said...

It is well with poster 1&2

Chameleon said...

Thanks to minimee everything I typed just vanished into thing air and to think it's one of the longest comment I've ever typed on chronicles. No strength to retype pls. I commit you into the hands of God poster two

Anonymous said...

Poster 2: I don't understand you. Is this a chronicle or reasons why i did not cook for my husband? I'm sorry if i might be insensitive.

Anonymous said...

Thanks @ anon 15:23. She could not drop the baby for 10mins to even boil rice and warm stew haba.

Chyluv! said...

Poster 1 try writing down ur feelings in form of text.
Poster 2 u sound like some1 who nags n complains a lot.you also sound very unhappy, did you purposely leave the pot empty to starve ur hubby. I thought ur baby was a neonate may be thats y u carried him all day, but u said he's already sitting n crawling. Pls don't starve ur hubby.My dear try to be more understanding, n hopefully things will improve. Also talk to ur hubby to assist u occassionally.

Chike TEFLON said...

Poster 1 : You don't have any problem.



Poster 2: so all your lengthy write up is to cover your laziness for not cooking for your husband. accept that you are wrong and apologize to your husband.
You want a hungry and tired man that came back from work to carry Baby by 9pm before you cook. Is that not pure wickedness?
Why can't you bath the baby by 6pm and cuddle him/her to sleep.

Madam say no to laziness.
You are angry that he did not buy food for you while coming back. Don't you know that there is no food for lazy person?

Madam B said...

Please I don't know what to say.

Afolaranmi tope said...

Todaes chronicles is very borin

Anonymous said...

Poster 2,thank God for ur life, because you're better than some of us. I have a son dat is a yr+ and i'm 7months gone 4 the second baby and we stay in a self contain,i do all my chores alone, i wash my hubby clothes,cooking and do other tins alone,cause i dont have a job yet, i made sure his dinner is ready b4 6pm, dont have a helping hand, except my husband is around,he always help with the baby, i still thank God and i dont complain because my story will change soon and so will yours,ok. Pls talk to God and stop complaining.

Chike TEFLON said...

Poster 2: tell those people to remove their Gen from your window. Don't you know that the smoke can kill you people.
E bi like say you and your husband na ice water. Una no fit talk to other tenants to remove their Gen?
You see why is not good for two ice water to marry. One must be hot and the 2nd cold.

Alloy Chikezie said...

poster 1

whatsapp is your friend

Your comment will be visible after approval

Anonymous said...

Madam you culdv simply ask hubby to bring you something to eat when coming bck home. I also understand u coz I also manage house chores when the baby is asleep.

Ch1da said...

Poster 2

Read carefully, If you can't manage your home now. It will affect you in a long run. There is no amount of reason you want to give about not giving your husband food, when he comes back. I don't want you to think what you did is right. Adjust Madam, Even if you can't cook everyday plan meals that doesn't take time towards the evening. You made mention of baby, that is a foolish excuse. To cook for how many minute is why you gave us that long epistle.

Instead of looking for a house, why can't you start a business. Na you get your life and destiny sha

Justyswt said...

Poster1, since u are both shy to talk, maybe u shld chat more or write letter to each other.

Poster2, u are using ur baby as excuse not to prepare food for ur hubby abi? U better find a way around it o before some girl will come and give ur hubby tlc and also knack pigeon on top his head. Just give urself brain.

Greatlady. said...

Lol, this one is funny. Buy a diary

Greatlady. said...

Hahaha

Anonymous said...

so she has not been working by taking care of a teething baby eh?

The Lifted said...

Poster 1 try communicate tru text message maybe from there u both can overcome shyness .
Poster 2 if all those things u listed as excuse for not cooking early really exist it means ur problem does not have solution. Haba! just find a way to fix things,u wont blame him cos he probably felt u r not hungry,next time u ask him to get ur own share.I have a feeling u just tired & frustrated abt you & ur hubbys money issue, try to be open & hopeful,things will get better

Blossom said...

Poster2: you wrote a whole lot trying to explain why you didn't cook. My dear, you could have cooked for your hubby abeg or begged him to pls not be angry. That you have a child doesn't mean other aspect of your marriage should be at a standstill. An apology would have solved all this.

I pray you find another apartment soon. All the best.

EESAH WAS HERE said...

Chronicles Na wah!

Clean 2 Bedroom apartment to let in Ikeja off Oba Akran. Click on my I.D and send me a mail if you are interested

Nonye Inspired (James Bond's Girl) said...

Poster 1: U could start by teasing him and open up to him..no much advice sha.

Poster 2: I understand how you feel but you put urself in his shoes, he has toiled in the office, maybe his boss yelled at him and so many annoying things came up in the office, comes home hoping to be welcomed by the sweet aroma of egusi soup with eba. Only to find an empty pot..Haba Madam sometimes see things from other people perspective..At least even if it was bread and tea and you apologized that you could notcook cause of the baby, my dear your hubby will understand cause an effort was made...Did you even bother to know how his day was?? then he went out and didnt buy for you, you became angry..Dear Poster reminisce and do self-evaluation and see whether your actions were right if your conscience is still working..Selah Poster two Selah!!

optimisticlady said...

Poster 2,what's with the 'mind you!' everywhere?

Adele love said...

Poster one be there waiting for who to teach you how to express yourself you hear, Shebi dem dey give new born baby lecture on how to suckle? Poster 2 I can relate those days are there but pls try your best to do your chores the truth is it will get worse as number of kids increase. Learn to manage to at least cook. God will help you.

Anonymous said...

Poster 2 this your problem is long. All I know is you are trying. Its suffering you described up there.
I am used to living a certain way so I can't even imagine changing it because of marriage. I have my own very comfortable apartment with all my amenities AC,TV,Cooker,washing machine and co.
The man will better move in with me because I cant even suffer in the name of marriage.
Why aren't people patient to settle themselves career wise and money wise before entering into marriage and having kids.
I'm 30 and my bf is 31. We have decided to get married in 2019. This is to enable us to save and plan our lives. He is working and also writing professional exams so he can get promoted and I'm fine with that.
I'm not in no rush. If people like call me gwegs. I can't suffer with any man. When I come in; a comfortable place must be set for me.
Note I didn't say mansion; but comfortable.
Good luck

Mao Akuh said...

POster 2 - All these things you listed can't make you not to cook for your husband. From 6;00am to 6pm your baby didn't sleep? My dear child, do away with that selfish mentality of "shebi na our baby no be only me go dey carry'am". Do not push your husband to those girls outside if not you will send another chronicle. We all passed through this and came out stronger coupled with 8-5pm work without a helper, so your case is nothing to complain about.

Poster 1- set your priority straight, what do you wanna achieve in that relationship? Work on it, pray for it and build it. I was kinda like that but had to use it to my gain with prayers and it worked. Put God first.

Blondie Thorne said...

Blackberry if u av nuffyn 2 say just shut it...weytyn Jesus wan fix...hian..

Poster 1 be bold, comot shame Nd face ur man...nor go dey mumu urself...men like women dat knws exaltly wat dey want...if u nor talk ur case will end like poster 2 dat can't express herself 2 her husband, instead she nags Nd create excuses 4 her laziness.. .

Poster 2 ur husband is not a mind reader, u 4 tell ahm say u never chop, make he buy fud 4 u...and I tink u'r complaining cos of ur financial Nd accommodation state, tynz are not like it use 2 be wen u were workin,,and baby stress is another issue, taking care of pikin nor easy...tell hubby wen u need his help, tell him wat u want,,
It happened 2 me wen I just got married, I felt I wasn't gud enuf 4 hubby 2 discuss with, he kept 2 himself Nd I 2 myself, wen baby came tyns got worse, I was doing everytyn myself, house chores, taking care of baby and hubby 2, even wen am sick ..my marriage suffered den, wen baby started crawling Nd d work became 2 much,,dis is wat I did...

I sat hubby down Nd told him dat we need 2 share d chores, he got angry Nd said I dnt av respect...after enuf argument I decided 2 keep shut,, I no longer complain, instead I send him message wit style...in d morning wen gets up 4rm bed, i'l say honey please help me spread bed, if I live dis food 4 fire e go burn, he'l complain but he'll do it..wen he wants 2 bath, i'l be like hon please bath baby, so I can quickly sweep and serve ur fud on d table...wen am 2 tired 2 cook i'l call him on fone wen I knw he's abt 2 close 4rm work...guy I nor cook ooo, buy fud 4 me abeg,,,I love u....he will complain oo but we'll just laugh it off...and gradually he started helping out with chores..my son is 2yrs+ now Nd he's so attached 2 hubby cos he bath him in d morning Nd somtynz at night wen he comes bck 4rm work.. Somtyn I never imagined at d early stage of my marriage and somtyn I wud never av been able 2 accomplish if u had kept everytyn bottled up...Nd just be annoyed 4 nuffyn, dereby subjecting my self 2 misery or maybe early divorce. ..

My 2cent sha..



Kiks said...

What is wrong in saying the husband should hold the baby while she prepares a meal for both of them? Did she say he should do that while she relaxes and stretches out her feet on a stool? You people should learn to be empathetic (hope that is the right word) to other people's situations.
Poster 2 I think you should try not to get angry often. Try not to argue a lot. Know when to leave a matter God willing things will be good soon.

Poster 1 Maybe writing your thoughts for each other on a piece of paper will help yeah?

Winnie Omo said...

Well said @Chike....funny enough I was actually getting angry with this writeup, madam just apologize to ur husband cos u were wrong

Winnie Omo said...

Hahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

U said wen u were working u earn more why did u not look for a better apartment den,i no heat can drive in crazy,u can bring up child outside to play with neighbours children or look for one adult dat is less busy to watch over hum while u run around to cook and check on him intermidiatly,u have no excuse of jot cooking except u dat u did not want to cook,u must not av everytin to train ur baby manage wat u have,come to agabara u will get I good apartment for dat amount u don't need to travel to badagry

Esther Mgbolu said...

Poster1 since you are too shy to talk send him text messages or watsapp chats. Poster2,like really,what is this?you couldn't cook anything all day?just one baby?what you wrote up there is not an excuse except there's something else you are not telling us

Blesso said...

Poster two I can relate, those of you bashing her she said it's not always like that, that her baby was teething.

Blesso said...

Poster two I can relate, those of you bashing her she said it's not always like that, that her baby was teething.

Anonymous said...

Poster 1: it's cool that the two of you are shy. You have a lot in you that you can share and explore and it's easy with phones and social media. Guess you guys chat? What do you talk about? Make time every evening since you stay apart to chat about topics ranging from your day activities, to interesting news, your feelings, your needs and your fantasies. Let me just summarize what I have listed....your day activities is personal, share your feelings and it will help the two of you grow together. Make naughty comments like you lonely,you miss him and you see him open up. Chats can help a lot cause you can control how it will sound but saying it might be a bit difficult. Before you know it you both will be comfortable sharing your inner thoughts.

Poster 2: You seem the type that has a ready made excuse for everything. Some women work pick up their babies at the creche and still make dinner for their husbands. It's not easy but you must plan well and seek your husband's support NOT give him task to do. It's a partnership not an assignment. You had the whole day to make something so I don't buy that argument. Even if the food is cold he might even warm it and not bother you. And also dish it for both of you. Even if you work there are ways you prepare your husband's mind that dinner will be late. Like "honey do I buy fresh bread rolls for you to snack with butter while I make dinner. Cause dinner won't be ready by the time you come. He might even buy proper food to save you the stress. See marriage requires a lot of creativity and adaptation to survive and make it work. Be wise and stop watching telemundo and African magic all day.

Sexy Asa said...

Lmao Chike be guided.
Motherhood tho but I no fit starve my hubby tho.
Yes I understand you woman but Pls Lagos is crazy especially when it has to do with traffic and workload.Am sure you can relate since you have worked before.
Always make out time to cook.
You have the whole day to yourself and your baby, to poo,to eat and to sleep.
Be warned o.

Omolara Fafowora said...

Poster 2........wee you just stop making excuses for ya lazy asss ....just one child and you come up with various excuses.....what happens when they become two or more.hian! You 're at fault just accept your wrongs and right them asap ..... become more dutiful biko....you dont expect a hungry man who has been out hustling all day to laugh with you when you refuse to cook ......my mother once told me that i was a cry cry baby when she had me ....won't let her do anyfin until am being carried or held so there were times should would just have to damn the consequence and put me down to cryyy wella till she's done with her chores....I no die oh! !!!cry nor say kill pikin.....😐

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

Chike you are a naughty guy. You want to behave like Peace maker abi

Anonymous said...

Atheist I am with you here today.
Where is my first blog boo Chikito? Trust you are good my fierce girlfriend

MrsBee

beeolah said...

True talk

beeolah said...

Gbam

beeolah said...

Gbam

beeolah said...

They have

Anonymous said...

Poster 2 .. I honestly feel for you, not easy to have a baby that wont settle and last thing you want is for the baby to get in contact with unsterilized items through crawling.Mbanu!

I sure say na hunger vex u, it go go vex me too, nothing wrong with hubby buying takeaway home..u both r in it together nah.

Tell him how u feel, he sounds like a reasonable guy and hopefully u can work things out.

Anonymous said...

Poster 2 you are a very lazy woman. You don't work and you can't do house chores. Just one baby and you have 1001 reasons not to cook and you were home all day. So your baby didn't sleep from morning till 9pm abi? Or your neighbors use generator 24/7? Learn how to plan your home cos many more kids are coming and you can't continue to be eating out with the money you should save for rent. You nag a lot and if you don't stop, one day your husband will leave the house for you and that time, you go hear nwii. Back pain koo uncomfortable and not so conducive floor nii. I feel like giving you one fixed deposit slap sef. Mcheeewww

Linda eke said...

Lmaooo...

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

Anon 15:16- πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ you just had to call my name abi? Yeye pikin. Abeg I've left for fellow married women to advice.

Although I didn't think she had to explain to us why she couldn't cook. You're a nursing mum and these things happen. So what if you were tired and couldn't cook? Or it's one of those days when you just feel like eating take out you haven't tasted in a while? It didn't have to be gen and baby and heat to make you not cook. You must not always be in the mood to cook and a good man SHOULD understand that. Abeg I don't see the big deal in dinner not being ready to upset anyone that much. No food, he gets food from the nearest restaurant, you both eat and put baby to sleep. Happy family!! But then again, Na me dey select husband right? πŸ˜‚ Okay.

Anonymous said...

Poster two take it easy with ur hubby thou house chore is nt easy but u are just nursing one kids now how abt me with three kids and leaving the types of ur House I make sure my husband meet his food am nursing a baby also that motherhood for u,and we shall inherit our labour in Jesus name

Linda peters said...

Poster 1, I understand your problems because I was ones acting like you but thank God I've been able to get myself out of that cage because it ruined most of my relationships. Please if you love him, try as much as you can to show it else, he won't know, from there he will pick up. Just try to be good friends, communicate maturely and express your feelings. If you can't do that verbally, send him text messages tell him how you feeling about him. It will Believe it will help you guys a lot. Poster 2: this is a very little issue for you guys to handle, is not everything you bring to public hearing. It's a minor issue call your hubby and settle this. Please don't bring everything that happens in your home to the public. Wish you good luck in your endeavour to a better home. Be wise. Not everyone here would give you a better advice. Pick the good ones and forge ahead.

Anonymous said...

Poster 2 please who sent you to marry a poor and stingy man. Stop complaining you decided to get married without proper planning.
Carry your cross you want to answer married woman. So deal with it.

SuperMom said...

Poster 2, it's really not easy taking care of a baby, but u have to create a balance please. It doesn't look good for him to come back after a hard day job and no food. Even if you can't make a pot of soup or any serious food. Sharp sharp noodles will do. And am sure he will understand. If u have freezer, cook and store. This way u only have to reheat. If no freezer cook a pot of soup it can stay for 3days ,just make sure u warm it.
One thing I know is that no condition is permanent. Things might be rough now, but both of u should still try and find happiness in little things.peace

Anonymous said...

πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

Anonymous said...

@Chike, I have no words for you. It was ok for her to be running the family when he wasn't working but not ok for him to show some support on just one day that things went wrong for her. Na wah oh. What are men, invalids? Say No to slavery in marriage. Say yes to partnership. As he went out to eat, bringing food home would have been an endearing thing since he cannot help. I can't believe you sha.

Egwuonwu Bertha said...

Poster2 haba 9pm dinner not ready? Madam u no try

Anonymous said...

Those of you criticising poster 2.
Being a mother is a full time job, being a first time mum even makes it harder as you are still learning.
Just because she isn't leaving the house like her husband doesn't mean she isn't working. Man and woman are partners and surely he can help with even holding the baby or bathing the baby while she cooks for both of them. Aren't they both parents to the child?
Some of you are just being harsh for no reason, being kind won't kill you.

Anonymous said...

God bless you. Let her be excusing rubbish there. Telling us how she used to feed the family bla bla bla! Very proud somebody! I hate your type, tueh.

Push up said...

Poster two better apologize to your hubby, you have no reason for starving your hubby. My maid went for a burial and knowing the kind of kids I have, ( they will not give me breathing space) i started cooking dinner since morning. Madam u can per boil rice in the morning and make stew, by 7pm you fully boil it and serve your hubby food, you just have one child and you are complaining, better apologize to him before one of the nights he goes out to eat, he will bring second wife back home.

Anonymous said...

Imagine!telling us the home isn't fit for crswling , meaning she hasn't even mopped it in forever! Then husband will come and hold baby for her to cook. She had already shared work down for him and that is the problem here. As if the one he faced outside isn't enuf. Madam poster stop resenting your husband for your present circstances before devil pass there enter your house.

Anonymous said...

Those of you criticising poster 2.
Being a mother is a full time job, being a first time mum even makes it harder as you are still learning.
Just because she isn't leaving the house like her husband doesn't mean she isn't working. Man and woman are partners and surely he can help with even holding the baby or bathing the baby while she cooks for both of them. Aren't they both parents to the child?
Some of you are just being harsh for no reason, being kind won't kill you.

Jennifer Lawrence said...

Exactly

Uriel (Freshdew) said...

So because she's taking care of a teething baby the husband should starve come on πŸ˜’. Am not attacking her but she needs to find a balance so everyone can be happy in the home.

Anonymous said...

Chikito and Atheist, they're like fuel and matches in one sentence, i no de oh

Kacey May said...

May the God bless you. It is well with you and your family

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

*clears throat* #IMO you can even be in a marriage with an unwealthy man and be happy because of his attitude. I can't imagine hubby and I arguing because I didn't make dinner when I have a baby at home with me. To me thats fundamental issue and I have a problem with that. It's not easy cooking for days on end sometimes a woman would be tired and the man should give her a hug and ask her how they will go about this dinner matter together. Make una take an easy oh! Marriage is really for understanding and mature people. One soothing word and this chronicle from an unhappy angry wife won't get here. Una dey try oh!

Anonymous said...

So u want to have 2 kids in a self contain, you pple should fear God now. Haba

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

@MrsBee I'm fine oh πŸ’‹πŸ’‹ how are you today? Thanks for being a blog boo. I appreciate

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

Excuse me oh! Why am I reading comments blaming the woman for not cooking? So if a woman is too tired, confused, lazy to cook (on this particular day) her husband has a right to give her an attitude? Really??!! Y'all must be joking. Her husband has no excuse for acting the way he did. Marriage is all about communication and team work. When a team member has a fault, you help them up. Not kick them down. What's all this excuse about her doing or not doing this? Side chic? Lols. Make e go get side chic for that kind suffer wey him wife dey suffer inside heat and noise. I don't like the man's reaction and madam you definitely saw the signs before you married him so deal with it and stop this unnecessary explanation and complains. U soooo seem like the type of BV that comes to insult single girls. I'm not even asking you I'm telling you. So deal with the challenges that come with it too.

Anonymous said...

Lol @anon 18:15 so the 2 no dey gree? This world of Sdk is the real house of commotion. Thanks for the heads up, I believe they both know ayam JJC though I've been around for about 2years now.

MrsBee

Olori_1812 said...

poster2: i think you are only justifying ur reasons for not making your husband dinner.None of the excuses you gave are valid.We have people with about three kids living in a one bed apartment and yet they do all it takes to keep their home and make food for everyone at the right time(i grew up in that kind of environment).I will advise you not to be lazy next time because a silent man,hmmmmmmmmmmm

poster1:express your feelings to him.YES! you read right.Before one extrovert who is chatty will coman pour sand sand into ur garri by taking ur"ideal man" away from you.
My 2 cents.


been long you saw me commenting but trust ,e,i ff this page like my life depends onnit.Stella based on logistics,ilove you.

Chike TEFLON said...

Lol

Chikito the Chikito. The Professional fire for fire. Nwa oma eji eje mba. Ugegbe oyibo 1 worldwide.

1st of all, I will like to congratulate you on your new job. God will always continue to bless you in life. Your are blessed.

Now to the Chronicle. The reason why I laughed is because after asking us why we blamed poster 2, you went ahead to fire her. You did not even "ask her but you are telling her" Lol.
Nwa oma, na real fire for fire you be.


Poster 2 : You see your life? You are not just lazy but also abuse single BVs. Your own case gidi gan.

Anonymous said...

Welll, humans are different. Poster 2 take your husband as he is. You can start getting his food ready from morning until he comes back. Although my husband would have called me to know what to get for me when we went out to eat.

Chike TEFLON said...

Yori Yori Princess Loveme jeje. The original tea drinker. You know say every tea dey with you. Abeg help me give poster 2 a good tea that will cure laziness.

You know how stressful Lagos is, with all the traffic that you will stay in a car for 2 hours without moving an inch. The husband will come back being very weak and she expect him to carry a baby by 9pm. What kind of work is she doing from morning till night that she can't even cook 3 minutes instant noodle?

Poster 2, I put it to you that you are a lazy woman.

If your husband can cook he can assist you but not on that very day by that time of the night.

Tilly said...

Poster 2 no matter the attention the baby needs, u cant hold him all day. Time management is key. Besides crying can't kill the baby. It will exercise his vocal cords. You could drop him for a few minutes.
And if u couldn't cook, you need to communicate. Hello pls buy something i couldn't cook abeg.

Chike TEFLON said...

Blesso chill abeg.
Which one is that her baby is teething?

The baby anus na tap wey the shit dey run like water? Even if na tap, she no fit lock the tap/anus with medicine and pampers?

I will not take any of her excuse because she is lazy and backing it up with excuses.

Poster 2, your kind of person will be nagging too much. You will always see an excuse to cover up your mistake.

Chike TEFLON said...

Esther Mgbolu Nwa oma. I bu ezigbo Nwa afo Igbo. Golibe na nne gi musiri gi ike.
No mind that poster2 make she dey deceive herself.

Anonymous said...

If she wasn't going to cook, why couldn't she call or message the dude to arrange dinner on his way home? It's not her not cooking that got me but the arrangement. I mean having a teething baby is disturbing but she could have boiled some rice and take the child outside for fresh air!
Real women improvise!
Having said that, She knows the condition of that house when she decided to have a baby, that's not an excuse to starve a man who's been out all day working and trying to give her and the child a better life.
Being a wife and a mother goes beyond I don't feel like it! Same as being a father and a husband! If you don't feel like cooking how about those who feels like eating?
I drag myself out of bed many times because my kids needs me. Other times I tell them I need rest, and they will understand.
If you haven't stated your feelings to people depending on you, you will fail them

MrsBee

Beloved said...

Did I miss Queen Bee's comment ? ?


*Scrolls up again

Chike TEFLON said...

Chikito Nwa oma,
It is right for a man to help his wife out with cooking and other things at home but not by this 9pm story.

She suppose to call him earlier to tell him that she did not cook food because of Baby, but her laziness will not even allow her to raise her phone and make call.

If the baby don't give her time to do anything, how come she get time to type all that laziness that she called excuse up there?

Poster repent, inugo?

Chike TEFLON said...

Lol@ her problem does not have solution.

Chike TEFLON said...

Anon 15:55 God will bless you abundantly. You are a good woman.

Don't mind that poster2

Anonymous said...

I pray no misfortune come knocking yo door!

Hawt mama said...

Chike I don't blame u 4 ur nativity. Poster 2 I completely understand ur plight as I alone take care of d kids. I always say this dat if an African man marries a foreign woman and comes home to meet no food in d house he will fix something for himself and even his wife, but when they marry a fellow African, they expect her to perform wonders. Ur husband should have bought something 4 u to eat too. U have every right to be angry but in ur anger do not sin.

Anonymous said...

Poster 2. No food at 9pm.thats serious. You could have called him to make alternative arrangements. Men are upset when they get home late, hungry and tired only to find empty pot.

Amacastel said...

Kiks did you hear ur self @all husband holding the baby for her to cook by 9pm, what exactly is she doing from 1pm till 9pm that the man will hold baby for her, did she born Jesus Christ that she won't back her baby & cook, lazy women giving flimsy excuse for there fuck up, better go & apologise to ur husband, madam itk.

Amacastel said...

Poster 2 is is pure ITK madam.

Timaro said...

This is what I told my gf that has a crying baby.She will not have her bath till whenever the hubby comes back cos the baby will cry like he wants to die.My daughter tried that,I will keep her and do whatever I want to do,she will not die.last last she will get tired and sleep.
I cannot come and go and kill myself.
That dosent mean I'm wicked either

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

@chike thanks for the goodwill chike. Yes she should have called to tell him she didnt cook. So i understand that he would be upset to come home to an empty pot. But, two wrongs dont make a right yea? If she didn't call, i think the first thing for a man to do is ensure they all eat. After which, when they get in bed he can pour out his heart, turn around and sleep. That way she will feel very useless that she might even start crying. Its not everytime anger solves issues, sometimes vindictaing yourself by your actions is enough to send the message home. The next day before you leave for work give her a sterm warning that both of you need to be more understanding to each other's plight and you hold no grudges. I promise, she would seat up.
Do i feel the poster is a troublesome excuse maker? Common mehn its obvious from the tone of her writing that she's someone who thinks herself perfect by giving excuses for a lifetime. but a man's quietness isnt stupidity and unless he makes that known to her by putting doing his part to make her flaws evident to her and her alone, she will keep giving excuses while ignoring her responsibility. Plus, trust me we know the tone of angry wives association on here and in real life - thats why i put the accusations forward with no regrets. Lol.

Nee Diva said...

Smh for those bashing poster 2...someone even had the guts to say "it's only one child and you are complaining". Self-righteous blabbers!
If you have no idea what it's like handling a baby when clingy and uncomfortable, then don't post nonsense.
Different moms, different babies, different temperaments and different postpartum issues.

Dear poster 2, next time when backing your baby, let him/her wear light or no clothing and fan some air on him/her till s/he sleeps. This will make your hands free enough to carry out other chores...take the chores one at a time, since you don't have help. Try to make dinner before hubby gets home so he can eat, rest and then carry baby so you can rest or do other things.
It is well dear

Iphie dearie said...

Poster one.
I saw this really late. Hope you get to read this.

I used to be extremely shy, would rather die before I tell you how I truly felt.
I know of one cute thing that worked though.
I got nice stick ons, wrote cute words on them, tucked some into his work pants... others I hid around the house.
He kept finding my little 'nuggets' day after day. It was so beautiful I tell you. Back In the days,LOL
Note that this isn't a permanent solution to Communication issues, but it will endear this new dude to you, If he feels same way.

Poster two
A simple call would have solved this whole problem. Just call and tell him to get something for two. Simple!

I have a feeling that you could have managed to make that meal if you put in an effort but due to his recent late nights, you decided to teach him a 'lesson' Yes? No? I understand that you didn't want to break your back for someone that has been acting up, but both of you must have a talk,its time.
Find out what is keeping him away from home.. Dinner isn't the issue,you have underlying problems to solve.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

@Mrs Bee i totally get you. But I'm sure shes younger and inexperienced in this business and doesnt yet understand what is expected of her. Others might handle such issues better, because of their experience and personality - not every personality/temperament knows how to multitask/improvise. But she doesn't - her limitation. Personally, I'm the kind of person who may not feel like cooking on some days; but trust me i will have ready alternatives for a tired husband. So i totally get the fact that she didn't do her part well.

But, if its not something she's been doing regularly he shouldnt have acted that way. Everyone has their off days at least calm the house down not blow up the steam by your actions. Mba. I would expect oga to take more careful measures into solving this issue not the 'walk off and walk in'. Imagine if kids were watching you'd have made their mother's shortcomings too obvious to them.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

No you didnt. Poster told queen off. Guilt? πŸ˜‚

Anonymous said...

Poster 2. May God increase you and your family. The problem is poverty and nothing more. For me as a married man I don't wait for my wife to make food. I love helping out in the kitchen. As a matter of fact washing plates and cooking is my house chores. Mind you I am the bread winner of the family with money in the bank. Communication is the key

Anonymous said...

Except if she does this all the time I se no reason why her husband shouldn't help out once in a while...

Anonymous said...

Senseless comment from a stewpid BV

Jibola Owoturo said...

Madam try and cook next time Nd learn to let slesping dogs lie. This one you argue alot abeg o my family house is peaceful o and tenants dontbcause trouble thats why my mom takes working couples anyways, we have mini flats self contained and 2bedroom in a very secured and nice eniviroment around iyana iba badagry express way surulere quarters . I sent sdk a mail contact me if youre intrested

Anonymous said...

Perfect Chike Teflon, see how you balance as judge and jury on top another person marital issue.
By the grace of God I have been married to my wife for over 15years and it is not unusual for a woman to have an 'off' day. So make all of una take a chill pill. I am sure some of the judges on this forum are single people wey never marry self.
She might have her issues but give her positive and helpful counsel, she didn't come here to be bashed by you perfect BVs

Anonymous said...

So you will allow your child crawl on a bare floor even if mopped every hour. Smh

PL THE GREAT said...

Chike, find out the meaning of the word 'teething' before crucifying the poster. It has nothing to do with diarrhea.

Esther Mgbolu said...

Anon23:53 so where is the baby suppose to crawl?On the bare wall or bare ceiling?

dan said...

I am married to the sweetest woman on earth, before our baby came she is the don't scatter anything type. I don't meet her ever cooking dinner, once I call am coming home something must be ready for me. Even when heavily pregnant she still does everything.
Now our baby came, I see her struggling to meet up, she doesn't sleep well at night. She use to make breakfast for me plus lunch for work cos I don't have where to eat where I work. (Site) . She now struggles to wake up cos baby wakes up like 4tyms b4 dawn. I had to start making my own lunch so she can sleep at least till 7am. Indomie tins

She still try to tend the house as usual but I see her failing.
I come home sometimes without dinner prepared, I just ask her to relax and I cook indomie. You guys say she has all day to cook and attend to d child. Have u ever thought about the fact that new mum sleep when the baby is asleep. She too needs to rest. I found out everything she goes through just by staying at home during weekdays.
I realise she backs the baby to the market just to buy things I will eat. This is after washing cleaning and tending to the baby.
I felt pity for her what I do is I tell her to relax and wait when I come back I help her hold baby while she makes dinner or we eat out. It's not a crime even Stella loves eating out.
You guys should cut poster 2 some slacks. She wasn't the only one they preached for better for worse to. Holding the baby is no big deal. This women work their asses off and they still have to sex us join. How will you enjoy sex with a worn out woman. That's rape to me.
Helping doesn't make you a lesser man. You can help wash Saturday's. Let her have one of the weekend to herself. Take the baby out so she can rest her head for lik an hour. Please forgive any typo I am typing with the help of my 6months old daughter she is saying HI..

Anonymous said...

God bless you

Anonymous said...

What rubbish is this one saying? He is very selfish.. Why was he sulking about no dinner when he knows she has no help and she doesn't miss diner often? He should have bought something for her to eat

Anonymous said...

You must be stupid for calling the poster lazy
Ewu Gambia

Hot Bench (Mrs Dickson) said...

Anon 19:52 biko kpumie far.

Anon 16:21 & Chiki Fire, spot on!

Hot Bench (Mrs Dickson) said...

Anon 23:50 you're a definition of an understanding partner in marriage.
Just like my Dickson!

Hot Bench (Mrs Dickson) said...

Awwww Dannie, how I love reasonable MEN!
Kisses to your cutie.

Anonymous said...

00:49, you killed it. My husband is not good domestically but he does all he can do to help out.

Sincerely speaking, poverty is a bad thing. If my husband were poor, he would not be doing some of the things he does for me so that I don't take him for granted or disrespect him. He does shopping for the house when I am busy with the children. Understanding and cooperation help in marriage.

Anonymous said...

Na who go marry dis jain person anyway? Perfect chike tefoolon

Anonymous said...

Na man you be. Well brought-up.
Your wife is so lucky to have married a wonderful man like you.
Keep it up .

Anonymous said...

Chike u don hear am? Double mumu...

Anonymous said...

Hi babygirl

You are a good man and everyone bashing poster 2 should keep calm there time is coming and my praying for them all is they shall all born and marry and see how it feels.

To the idiot faking her lazy he isn't even married but when he marry he will understand exactly what you just wrote or I pity his wife.

Anonymous said...

Blondie Thomas na you get sense... I did not understand not to argue over help with my husband in the first few years of marriage. But he would just say if I need help I should ask specifically. I learnt after about 5 years of doing everything myself... I now ask sweetly... Honey can you please help me with this or that so I can continue with this or that... Thank you sweetie. It worked like magic going on 14 years now.
You see Nigerian boys are not usually thought to be helpful, some mothers teach their sons but most don't hence the problem these women face when they get married.

Anonymous said...

All the people berating this woman have no children. Do not advice people when you haven't walked in their shoes and therefore can't empathize.
Madam I understand your situation. Next time, call him and inform him dinner would be late and could he also get you a snack? He seems like an understanding person.

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