Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Monday, May 22, 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

This really made me hiss angrily the whole time I was reading it.



STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THE WALL 


Dear Stella,


Thanks for this platform please keep me anonymous. I was raped at the age of 15years by my neighbor where I stayed with my father cause my mom left when I was just 8 months and the rape resulted to me having a child my dad and brother was not in support of having an abortion so I had to give birth to the child, Anyway story for another day. 


Here is my story. I met a guy last month through your blog which we have come to love each other so much. though from the start of the relationship I did not mention to him that I have an 11year old son cause I felt the relationship was too early to tell him about my child.

 I later summoned courage to tell him about the child and he was so angry saying I would have told him from the start about the child why keep it away from him, I sha explained to him not to be angry that I wanted telling him at the right time he then asked me to give him time to think about it and talk to someone about it which he did and later apologized to me for getting upset and thanked me for telling him much earlier, things started going well between us then I went to his house to visit him we talked, played and watched movies together. before you all cuss me out No we did not have s3x.


We kept talking on phone and chatting and the love continue to lighten up between us. not until yesterday when he said we needed to talk and he came up with he is loving me already but there is a wall in-between us and when I asked what wall he said it was my son..... Stella I died.... I started crying inside my heart, he said I should advice him on what to do and if I was in his shoes what would I have done and I told him I cant advice him that he should seek for advice elsewhere and then he said he has and they told him his the only one that need to decide... 


Now the issue is that he said we are in it together and still saying he does not think he can cope with the son issue... 


Stella I really love this guy I have met lot of people and I find out I don't feel anything for them, now I met whom my heart accept with no faults my son is now in-between the line. he said he needs to pray about it But what if he comes up with he has prayed and we cant be together?


Please Bvs and Stella I sincerely need your advice here, should I just move on since my child is not being accepted here cause I cant abandon my son, I cried all night over this and i am so confused.


*This is so sad,if your son is an issue in the beginning for him,that issue will always raise its head.
I would advise you to move on..That thought should never have entered his head in the first place.....

Mr Lover man,In case you are reading this since she met you on this blog,I would love to ask you..If it was you that had a child out of wedlock,you would want her to accept you like that right?It is so wrong that you have made her child a condition in your relationship...YOU ARE A WICKED MAN.

Move on Babe!


161 comments:

  1. Haba! What a man! Please move on abeg your man will come

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not all men can cope with the fact that she's had a child before. He's not wicked but honest, he needs time to adjust but if after everything he is still not comfortable then babe please move on.

      Delete
    2. Men and double standards... Ask him if it were his sister would he want the man to leave her? It's not by force let him go since he hasn't learnt anything from this blog to put inside his coconut head, let him go. Do not turn on your son cus he will always remain your blood and its not your fault neither is it your sons, it's may be hard but you will eventually get over it, take hear the right person would come

      Delete
    3. And that's the difference between men and women. What a woman can accept, a man usually cannot

      Delete
    4. Poster believe me, that guy don't love you much. If he truly love you your son will not be a problem for him.

      Move on. Your man will come.

      Delete
    5. Na wao for you oh Stella, you think it is all families that accepts a lady with a child for marriage
      Or it is all men who can cope with raising another man child
      I won't allow my brother to marry an pass one

      Delete
    6. Thank Goodness you are not God.

      Delete
    7. Stella hes not wicked. N No its not every woman that can accomodate another woman's child either. Just as some ladies cant deal with baby mama drama n all some men cant also.


      Poster if hes not forthcoming let him b. Love nor b by force. Ull find a man who will love u n ur son. Pls note: just becos he couldnt acpt u n ur child doesnt make him a bad person. Atleast he is honest.

      Delete
    8. Poster! U were not raped. This chronicle was doctored to make the man have a rethink. Don't be like this.

      Delete
    9. This is so hilarious, Mehn many tins De happen for this country each day o. For all zeeworld fans, you can Get the latest update on all zeeworld series this week, click Here for full gist

      Delete
    10. That's the problem single mother face, finding someone who will accept them and their child. Well poster the good thing is that he opened up to you, some will keep quiet and act/pretend as if they are not affected with the fact u have a child already then walk away later

      Delete
    11. Stella that is harsh. Don't call the man wicked. He is an honest man. Everybody in life has a right to choose who they want to be with and what responsibility they can handle. Everybody has a right to choose period. How can you call a man wicked for voicing out his fears and worries in his choice of a true life partner? Please people should learn to be mature in mind. Everybody has a line, everybody has a point they are pushed to they cannot cross. It is not the girls fault something this dreadful happened to her but it is also not a wicked thing that he cannot accept her child. Please!!!! Haba!! People here dump people because they are ugly or they don't go to thier church. Who you choose to be with is your choice!

      Delete
    12. Nothing wrong with a man not wanting to settle with a woman who has a child. You should have told him from the onset. You deceived him. You are at fault.
      You think by hiding your child and making them fall for you first, before you tell them, is the foolproof method for you? Sorry o

      Delete
    13. very wicked man.. 9ja men having kids b4 marriage is a norm but when it is the lady na wahala.

      Delete
  2. Haba! What a man! Please move on abeg your man will come

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Babe abeg move on. Don't even waste your energy on a child hater. Yours will come. True love doesn't come with conditions.

      Delete
    2. Let's not be too critical with the guy, we all have qualities when looking for a life partner with each quality having its tolerance. A child from a different partner maybe too big to handle for some individuals irrespective of the circumstances. The onus is on the guy, if he can't handle, he should respectfully call it off.

      Delete
    3. Mcq really? She was raped for christ sake

      Delete
    4. Cherry wine. It doesn't matter. The reason anybody is in a particular circumstance is not a reason ti choose them. Say your mother died for example as a result you could not go to school a suitor is looking for a graduate, must he marry you because it was your mother dying that caused you not to go to school?!?!

      Delete
  3. He's not wicked, same way some women don't like men with kids is same way some men don't like women with kids, cut men some slack, they are humans too with feelings.
    #peace!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooooo gosh u nailed it.... I don't know if my comment got posted but this was exactly Wat I wrote. .......... bless up

      Delete
    2. God Bless you for this . we all have preferences joor

      Delete
    3. Blackberry he is WICKED! He wants her to choose between himself and her son. So she should leave her child where exactly to come and marry him?? Like i said i blame her though. She lief initially. Stella sorry I'm commenting everywhere lol. This chronicle did me one kind😄😄😄

      Delete
    4. He's wicked because he's putting the poor woman on a long thing... She already made the mistake of not telling him, why can't he tell her once and for all that he's not interested?? What's the mind games for?? Mscheeeeeeeew!!

      Delete
    5. Here a list of things u shld never hide from the beginning: Someone who loves u will still love u regardless,

      Your genotype.
      Health issues.
      Job description.
      Kids.
      Small penis or Borehole, lol
      Plans to relocate abroad anytime soon.
      Ex GF/BG still obsessed.
      Criminal record still fresh/ court case.
      Death threats.... Etc.

      Delete
    6. Things to hide in the start of a romantic relationship:

      Bodycount.
      Mothers behaviour, being good or bad.
      Account balance.
      Personal Hygiene, good or rotten.
      Ladies should hide hw good they're in bed *surprise us*
      How many times u wrote Jamb.
      If u snore or not.
      Favorite sex position, lol.
      How good ur ex was in bed.... Hide that one 4ever!!

      Delete
    7. Cookie, he's not wicked, he can't just up and give her an answer, its not concerning the weather that'd change the nxt minute, he needs to talk to his family and kinsmen, they might forbid him from marrying her wen the time comes, so give him some time, wats the hurry? Is she entering menopause nxt wednesday??

      Delete
    8. Lmaoooo this Atheist is crazy

      Delete
    9. Thank u blackberry.


      Trinity No u got it wrong. Hes not asking her to choose btw him n her son, she told him late n hes finding it hard 2 to let go as hes finding it hard 2 acpt her status.


      Athiest 👍

      Delete
    10. No blackberry. He is not wicked. He is conflicted because he is human. He thinks b he cannot handle the responsibility of fending for another mans child he has expressed that. Its nit a decision he is able to make easily. These are not issues you just jump into.time and care.must be taken to make such life changing decisions. He did not say she should choose.

      Delete
  4. Replies
    1. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 this one no be demon he's only being careful!

      Delete
    2. As in.... FAST!! Better days ahead.

      As for you the guy #wehdonesir 💪 Mr. Perfect. May you find that which you seek. Amen.

      Delete
    3. Madam, you too stop falling in love upandan. Tell the guys from day one that you have a child to save yourself from future heartbreak and chronicle

      Delete
    4. He is not a demon he is just being truthful to her. What if after marriage he refuse the boy staying with them.Poster if his response is NO move on, there are men that wouldn't you having child.
      Omo bibi kin se arun.

      Delete
  5. There's a saying "love me love my dog". If it was him with a son he would want you to understand.Your son didn't choose to born through rape don't compromise your flesh and blood cause you won bear mrs. Your missing rib will come, hang in there and keep praying. Leave that guy alone, he aint worth SHIT!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Don't even take him back if he comes after his 'Prayer'.... What does he want you to do?? Abandon your child?? He's didn't even feel. Sorry for you for the ordeal that lead to the birth of your child, Rubbish Somebody, I hate people who give conditions in love...

    Aunty, it's just a month, you'll be fine.... Move on!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Currently I am dating this guy, and he is madly in love with me.I have two kids tru CS. There are very visible scars on my belly. He questioned me about them and I told him that I was involved in an accident that required certain operations. I can't bring myself to a place where I will be judged because I am a mother. I am forever glad I had my kids very early. 6&3yrs and I am not yet 30yrs. Information about my motherhood is not a thing for discussion when it comes to my work and dating life.

      I have seen friends loose their self worth because they felt its better to be transparent with a guy about their status.

      After telling the man/guy the truth. They will smash P***y and take a very long walk.

      Delete
  7. Your son will always be an issue for him. He obviously can't deal with it. Please save yourself and your son future problems by moving on.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wicked man.
    Poster, your own man will find you and he will accept ALL OF YOU.

    ReplyDelete
  9. That guy is crazy, he should go to hell if he can't accept ur son, don't ever choose any useless man over ur child, if he's the one that has a child naw,he will expect u to manage his baggage,a man will abandon u, but ur child will stay with u forever unless u are a bad mum, better let d hediot go if he can't accept ur child, he doesn't love u, and who cares if u ve fucked him, no be ur punani.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Give her to your father now.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous 18:33, I strongly believe you're the man in the story

      Delete
    3. Why are you so vile! Who did this to you Angel Ray?

      Delete
  10. Chei, Pele. Just move on, someone better will accept you & your son, don't stress over it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. What kind of stupid question is this poster?...
    Okay nah,kill your son because of a prick!!...
    Mumu girl!...
    This guy no want,free him nah...
    Is he the only man asking you out?...
    When I told you girls here to stop putting all your eggs in one basket,some of you will call me stupid!...
    And what's the fuss about not having sex with him?...we all know you gbenshed him!!...
    It's normal to gbensh someone you have a feeling for!...so stop acting like it's a big thing!...

    Give other men a chance!...
    Life goes on mehn...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madam pls give her some slack. This poster is traumatised enough. Lets not add to her pains.

      Delete
    2. No she wants the child to disappear cos of the man. This is why i love myself. My mom even says it. Everyone that knows me knows i have a son. Once i meet a guy, i throw something in on purpose that will make me mention him. If for any reason u even blink the wrong way sef when i say it,i won't pick your call again. Nonsense

      Delete
    3. I've missed uuuuuuuuuuuuu ooooooohh 😂😂😂😙😙😙😙😙😙

      Delete
    4. Nne Trinity you are so right.I carry my own like sign board sef.Her pictures is allover my social husband.Now am even married and my husband loves even more than me.I made it clear we are both a package and don't ever think that would change even in the next 20years because I will choose her over u.No be the innocent girl send me message,the best I can do is protect her from rejection

      Delete
    5. Trinity naim be say you go tey for market. You think it's an easy thing or a thing of joy to take a baby mama who is not a widow to your parents? Biko stop pretending. He might genuinely love her and is hanging in just to explain the circumstances of her pregnancy to the family and get their acceptance. Her case is still better than a girl who got pregnant for her boyfriend. Girls close your legs

      Delete
  12. Stella, How's he a wicked man? As a mum can you allow your son to marry someone with a child? @ poster look for a divorcee or an elderly man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not everyone has ur thinking inugo

      Delete
    2. Why? Because she Has a son? Or because u r her God?

      Delete
    3. Anonymous 15:06 u are a vry big fool! Do not let me curse u o!so to hv a child outside wedlock is now a terminal disease or a death sentence? Are u crazy? So single parents shd kill demslvs cos de hv kids?wch de hv due to no fault of theirs? U must be very very stupid! U had beta watch u say frm dat gutter mouth of yours! Anumanu! Mscheeeew!

      Delete
    4. Trinty, I don't think the guy is a demon. Most of us ladies will not want a man that has a child already. Look at it from his own angle.

      Delete
    5. Yes becos she has a son and she never said it ontime ..why not the first day? Pikin na yam wey you go dey hide?so shes at fault!!all you bastards calling the guys wicked shall die young.

      Delete
  13. Hahaha. Stella the way u typed that you're a wicked man in caps s making me imagine ur face while pointing accusing fingers to his face.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stella I don't think he is wicked, he just stated his preference. Babes thank God for your son and keep it moving. You have not met your life partner.

      Delete
  14. Please move on!
    I know it feels like its the end of the world but trust me, it isn't.
    Develop yourself, get busy with work and always pray to God for the exact man you want. And Someday, when your prayers are answered, you'd wonder what you saw in this guy in the first place. Your son needs a father please. Do not choose a man over him.

    ReplyDelete
  15. He doesn't want to be with u.

    Let him go.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I concur with u gorgeous lilian! Madam poster,let dat guy go! Dat guy is nt really in love wit u! If he ws genuinely in love wit u,he wd love u with ur baggage!let him go NOW! Just go on ur knees and cry To God to gv u ur own man!De say D Blessings frm God added no sorrows! Wat God Wld Gv U wld not come with Conditions! Ds guy wd alwys see ur son as a barrier in ds ur relationship! Am sure u wd be feeling hw wd u start all over agn,cos u feel u dnt get to meet toasters on a daily basis!my dear just tk a chill pill!Calm down and just Let God perfect His will In Ur life! Ders Absolutely Notin God Cannot Do!Just Trust Him! Trust His Will For Ur life! Allow dat guy to go! Free him Now!I sincerely wish u all d best!Dont worry,it wld definitly End in Praise! Just Trust And Belive God For Your Own life Partner ok? It's well with U!

      Delete
    2. I concur with u gorgeous lilian! Madam poster,let dat guy go! Dat guy is nt really in love wit u! If he ws genuinely in love wit u,he wd love u with ur baggage!let him go NOW! Just go on ur knees and cry To God to gv u ur own man!De say D Blessings frm God added no sorrows! Wat God Wld Gv U wld not come with Conditions! Ds guy wd alwys see ur son as a barrier in ds ur relationship! Am sure u wd be feeling hw wd u start all over agn,cos u feel u dnt get to meet toasters on a daily basis!my dear just tk a chill pill!Calm down and just Let God perfect His will In Ur life! Ders Absolutely Notin God Cannot Do!Just Trust Him! Trust His Will For Ur life! Allow dat guy to go! Free him Now!I sincerely wish u all d best!Dont worry,it wld definitly End in Praise! Just Trust And Belive God For Your Own life Partner ok? It's well with U!

      Delete
  16. My dear dry your tears. You have done well. Your son will be a source of joy to you in the future.

    I may get bashed for this but to some extent I can't call for the man's head. Some people because of experiences they've had want to have a family with their kids being a result of the union. What I don't like is this roundabout way of saying he doesn't want to do again. Mr loverman if you don't want say it straight up so she can move on. I will also want to advice that if she is as awesome as I suspect she is, please ignore the fact that she has a son. The boy is already grown and I can assure you he will bring blessings upon blessings into your union. I also hope you've reached this conclusion on your own and not as a result of foolish advice from family and friends.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. We all know it's not easy but if he's no longer interested, he should just man up and say it

      Delete
  17. my dear,you see that man?he is not your MAN.any man that can't love ur son as much as he loves you is not your man so,stay away from him.cry to God every midnight for one week,read ur psalm and see if God will not bless you with a man who will love you and ur son.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless you. I cannot imagine a man telling a mother to choose between himself and her son. Some husbands/wives come and go, but a child will forever by loyal and be there to cater for you in old age.

      Time will heal you and you will be fine @ poster.

      Delete
    2. Who ho told you that. Child will be there to cater to you my ass. Pls abeg don't make me laugh. It depends on how you raise that child oh. Come see old people suffering and Alone in uk

      Delete
  18. The person we don't love,you cannot have interest in the child,that guy doesn't love you,if he does,he would love everything that has to do with you,your son inclusive. Please move on.

    ReplyDelete
  19. So he's he saying you should choose between him and your son ? Please let him go !! yes not everyone can handle it but why did he lead you on knowing deep down it doesn't sit well with him ?. Sister girl I know you have emotionally invested yourself in this situationship but you have to move on, anyone that wants to be in your life must accept your child simple and if they are not ready for that then they should use the door. God forbid I abandon my child for penis

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She never wrote that. The man doesn't want to marry a woman with a child, personal choice so free him.

      Delete
  20. So he's he saying you should choose between him and your son ? Please let him go !! yes not everyone can handle it but why did he lead you on knowing deep down it doesn't sit well with him ?. Sister girl I know you have emotionally invested yourself in this situationship but you have to move on, anyone that wants to be in your life must accept your child simple and if they are not ready for that then they should use the door. God forbid I abandon my child for penis or for anything in the world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If he had abandoned her the day she told her, you would have called him all kinds of names. He is trying to be nice about it, you still find fault

      Delete
  21. Poster i wont ask you to move on yet, hear what he has to say after praying about it so the outcome will judge whether you should move on or not besides if he eventually accept you and your child you never can tell he meant begin to love the child.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Move on babe...... The guy is not for you

    ReplyDelete
  23. STELLA (yes, im raising my voice), dont call him a wicked man!
    The young lady started keeping secrets from the onset, that was wrong in all moral ethics, its not a personal bad habit like snoring or clutter u keep away, this is ur son for crying out loud, a huge part of you, u shldnt e ashamed of him in any way, it should be worn on ur sleeves like a badge of honor, even if it procedure he joined us was favorable or remarkable, hes here, hes here.... so if any Niggar wants to accept u from the word GO, he deserves to know those lifetime attachements to you, if hes accepting u, he should do that with all the bells & whistles.. or keep practicing Johnny walker! You practically ruined the foundation of the building (union), ofcourse there'd be cracks showing up in no time, if u ask me wen im in a bad mood, id say ure the wicked one here... ure wicked for hiding that innocent child & also deceiving that yound lad into loving u b4 he knew wat hes bargaining for.
    if u notice he didnt bailout immediately u uncovered ur secret, he tried to accept u and ur bagggage, but we're not all wired the same, some men will not budge, but guys like me will definately scratch my head & look for a single girl with an intact hole, no offence to anyone out there*..... does that make me wicked? hell no!! we all got a choice dammit.
    Anyway, start retracting ur heart from that guy, cus he'd definately break it, you handed him the gun to pull the trigger, u shouldnt hv lied, ur son shld be ur DP at least ones a week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly! Why did she hide her child? Over a man for that matter..nne you need a friend like me. No man is more important than my child. If u opened up u would have seen who he was initially

      Delete
    2. So when you meet a guy the first time you tell him your family history ABI because you don't want to keep secrets..You for kuku tell am to carry megaphone begin go Street by Street...She didn't lie...She just had to tell him at the right time...Some information you don't divulge until you are sure where you stand or if you even like this person enough.

      Delete
    3. Point well understand.
      "A single girl with an intact hole". Wat makes you think all single girls have an intact hole. Wait till you see a single girls hole that makes hissing sound while she's walking or a hole that makes farting sounds while banging.
      I love my motherhood hole.... sweet

      Delete
    4. The lady faulted be not telling him, why he can't he just tell her his mind once and for all?? What's the suspense for??

      Delete
    5. Lol@ chameleon.
      Ada wen i meet a man u love that hides it frm u, this ur.comment will change

      Delete
    6. Adaora, u should open up immediately but when she noticed he started being close, she should have told him

      Delete
    7. Atheist, no she didn't keep it a secret. They were not "that" yet and she felt it was not necessary divulging her pain (the rape) and her personal story. I don't think she can be blamed for that.

      Delete
    8. Atheist is on point here except the single lady intact hole part.

      To the lady, the guy fell in love with you as a single girl with no commitment to another person be it another man or a child, you suddenly switched that identity to that of a single mom and you expect acceptance without flinching. So what were you telling him about yourself all along? I understand you are scared some men will not give the chance to get to know your personality first but judge you base on your past but you see, we are who we are and that can't be changed. Move on from this guy, accept him if he comes back but don't wait on.

      To the man involved, this lady might be the woman to complete you. Think twice

      My mother had a child before marrying my father, she had lost many suitors because she told them she has a child. So when she met my dad she decided she's not going to loose another great guy. The sharp woman kept my big sis a secret, my sister comes to visit us but she would refer to her mum has her aunt. Until some day my mum couldn't bear what her daughter was going through where she lives and she opened up to my father. Jesu, the war that started wasn't a cheap one. Mumsie cried for months, elders begged but my dad was filled with anger and disappointment. I remember him saying he doesn't feel safe with my mum anymore. They ended up separating. Mum took us 3kids with her, dad comes to check us like once a week mostly in school. A year went by and to our dismay, on a faithful Saturday morning my dad came with a truck to take us all back home.
      It may take awhile to process why people did what they did, but when we let go of our expectations and anger towards them, we will know we all can't be perfect at all times.

      MrsBee

      Delete
    9. Blacky one month is not enough to be all "that" with a guy if u ask me. Personally me think d lady is expecting more than is supposed. 95% of Ist conversation begins with "tell me abt u" so wat d hell did she tell him? Im dark, 6ft tall, pretty bla bla ... her 1st two lines shouldve been im a single mum , my son is 11 etc. With time he can get to hear d whole story. What she did was wrong n she shouldnt expect any better reaction from d guy.

      Delete
  24. Just as some women keep saying here that they don't want any baby mama drama in their relationship please Stella give the men the right to do so. @poster a man who will love your son more Dan he loves u will locate u at the appropriate time, keep believing . Mr man please if u are reading this, there is nothing wrong in marrying a single mother! They are far better than those who h constantly done abortions . If truly u love her don't let anything stop u but if not bikonu let her be!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Imagine calling the child a wall. That's what I'm angry about. And the poster is crying. Its het fault though for hiding the truth initially. She would have seen him for who he is

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    2. The guy is messing with her emotions, that's my anger.....

      Delete
    3. Wall, baggage, hinderance... Its a metatphor i think.

      Delete
  25. Poster, re-read Stella's red pen, dust yourself up and move on. The man that will love you will find you and love you with all your baggage. Move on.

    ReplyDelete
  26. So you should throw your son away or what?
    He's just insecure and his love is not genuine and unconditional

    Let me pray about and if he insists that he can't cope with your son in the picture, let him go
    A man that would love you,your son would come.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Mstewwww..i did not even finish reading. Poster u r a mother like i am. A single mother. Firstly y didnt u tell the guy u had a child?? Y do women do this? You thought it was too early? How? Y? A man who is yours will have no issues with your child. So now to him the child is now a wall😄😄😄😄...my dear you and him are both jokers and yes i will judge you cos i am in your shoes. I will never for the life of me hide my child for any man. Ever. I have dated someone who claimed he started dating me but didnt expect to fall in love with me and now wants to marry me but he cant bring up another mans child. I didnt waste time. I told him bye felicia!! My son was just 3 then. He is 6 now. So pls leave that guy and move on! A man that will love u will love u and ur child. I have been with someone who treated my son like his own! They would skype and talk and talk. My son loved and still loves him like crazy. Till today he asks me of him all the time. Don't u want something like that for your child? Your child deserves loves and that man won't give it. He is selfish. If he had a child wont he expect u to love it? When you pray for a husband,pray for one that is accepting of your child. Forget that asshole and you y r u crying? Wasting your tears for no reason. If i were your friend i would have given a slap to reset ur head

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Babe he ain't an asshole JUST maybe this ain't what he want, everyone has got a choice. .... The babe should move on . Someone that will love her and her son will locate her by his grace!


      I like that the guy is being open. Some guys will pretend that all is cool and after eaten the apple they end everything with another excuse but deep down they ended things because of the child involve.....

      Delete
    2. Its true sha. She should have told the guy and not hidden it like it was a problem. Trinity you're right.

      Delete
    3. Better mother with fine pikin.

      Delete
    4. The guy is just being truthful Trinity. Plus I don't see any reason why she should pick the man over her son. Poster, open your brain o

      Delete
    5. I may fall in love with a man because of his child but I may not love a man that hides the existence of his child, they are 2 different people.
      I believe she falls in the latter, but I don't blame her all together it's the society.

      MrsBee

      Delete
    6. Erm. He's not an asshole for refusing to raise another man's child. Maybe that's why you haven't found a man to marry you in three years. Bad attitude. You don't just go about expecting people to jump when you ask them to.

      Delete
    7. Trinity biko calm down. This post is not abt u, its abt a stupid woman who fell in love n forgot to mention her single mother status. Call her out n leave d man d hell alone to adjust to this new n crucial info.

      Delete
  28. Never put a man before your son,if he can't accept your son,then he doesn't deserve you,your child's well being should be top priority,if he eventually marries you,with such resentment towards your son,he will have a hard time bonding with him.

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  29. Very wicked man mtchewwwww

    Poster any man who makes your child a condition in the relationship is not worth it. Your child will just suffer for it. Africans and their mentality. I'm sure it was women who advised him to dump you because of your child! Your child is your priority and that should remain so. I hope you're not one of those women who abandons their children for a man. Na wa

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  30. Never put a man before your son,if he can't accept your son,then he doesn't deserve you,your child's well being should be top priority,if he eventually marries you,with such resentment towards your son,he will have a hard time bonding with him.

    ReplyDelete
  31. My dear sister men do the funniest things,if it was him now he'd expect you to accept the kid albeit a son who'd make your own kids second in line(in terms of inheritance)and from the way you've written I know you would not mind but men and their ways.....
    Anyway pls you should keep an open mind when it comes to things like this,after telling men such stuffs ladies almost always get one of two responses,(stay or run)and 80 % choose to run.You can tell it will be a problem in future so I would suggest you move on.

    ReplyDelete
  32. This is reality in your face Swt@, if he cant deal please take a run, don't walk o.He is not worth IT. Oya snap out of it ASAP and shower your love & attention on Ur son dear.

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  33. Madam poster I know it's not easy but when u meet a man and he's beginning to show some seriousness and dedication leave no stone unturned..damn the consequences and let him know that u have a son..a man who claims to love you will love every thing that' has to do with you..if this man is yours he will stick with you..wish you luck!

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  34. My dear, any man that can't accept your son is not worth your love. move on if he decides not to continue with the relationship and be strong.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Why are you calling him a wicked man? Everyone has what they will and will not accept. Same way some women won't accept a man that is a baby daddy. In the end the best one can hope for is to find a person that will accept them as they are, that can't be forced on anyone. She should move on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If he's principled not to want a child 'drama', why didn't he break up with her the first time??

      Delete
    2. At times you are confronted with things that shake your core beliefs. He may really like her but to him dating and marrying a person with a child is not what he ever thought of. He probably thinks he can get through it and date her, but to be honest it's a wasted effort. Once he needed time to think it through, it's over.

      Delete
    3. Cookies, coz he loves her. I'm sure he was trying to see if he can cope. Don't blame him. Many of us ladies would not even want a man with a child. It all depends on our choice

      Delete
    4. Cookies, coz he loves her. I'm sure he was trying to see if he can cope. Don't blame him. Many of us ladies would not even want a man with a child. It all depends on our choice

      Delete
    5. Abi is it by force to date or marry someone with a child
      She should move on nd wait for the man that won't mind a baby mama

      Delete
  36. You even told him a month after you met him and he doesn't have sense. Anyways whatever rocks his boat. The solution lies with you now, it is either you stay or go, because trust me the baby issue will always come up whenever you have a fight and if you eventually get married he may not like your child(can you live with that?). And don't because of *age is not on my side* put a man before your son (your son is your first priority). And forget the *he's the only one my heart accepts* thing, if you're willing, other suitors that you can love will come around.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madam hope you are not still cutting shows with the guy because I doubt he wants to tie the knot with you.

      Delete
  37. Its easier to tell it all when u just meet a guy.. Waiting for the right time will only make you situation worse...telling it all on your first date let's you know if he's staying or going..my advice to you poster going forward

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    Replies
    1. I agree, though difficult when you really like someone, but I prefer to know stuff first off. It saves peeps a lot of trouble.

      Delete
  38. Move on please, if he can't accept the fact that you have a son.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Stella, you shouldn't have called the man wicked....we don't have his side of the story. He might have his reasons also and in any case he might be a young man who is afraid of baggage like they say . Stella it takes the grace of God for a bachelor to marry a single mother, even if he doesn't have a problem with it what about the parent and his friends. It the love between them that will eventually trump all obstacles in their relationship. I say this because when my brother, my parents last child came with a girl that has a daughter, my mother was against the relationship and told him to look for a spinster to start his life with.
    We had to sit my mother down and explain to her that if the girl give him joy and peace of mind,then they should let them be. It's was then she allow them enjoy their relationship and they are still together.
    Poster, stop bothering your head what will be will be. If he loves you no matter the advice he's given he would come back and accept your son and you . He's probably scared of what people will say but be sure that for him to be thinking about it means he cares. Let your son be of good behaviour around him. Let him get close to him and I assure you he would stop seeing him as a stumbling block but as cord that holds your love.
    Whatever the outcome, what's yours will never go past you. If he doesn't stay ,the person that will accept you and your son will come along I assure you. Stay blessed...

    ReplyDelete
  40. Is he wicked? No he is not.

    Everyone is faced with an experience some are very scary. He should not be wicked for not going ahead with you because of your child. You never can tell he may be too young to comprehend it,and its best he said it now.

    Single ladies, i think when you find a man,before you start drowning in the love let him know you have a child if he is yours he will stay with you.

    Dear guys, there is nothing wrong in marrying a lady who has a child na, imagine that you too had a child how would you have felt if she left you.

    Anyways sha, He said he wants to pray about it, You too pray seriously about it. There is nothing impossible for God to do.
    #ok bye

    ReplyDelete
  41. Dear Poster,your first move was wrong in many ways. We are all humans and our decisions will naturally swing when confronted with new realities and information. That is what happened to the young man. You hid a vital decision-shaping info from him at the outset and allowed him begin to build emotions towards you before you suddenly introduced the info about your son.
    You cannot blame him exactly though he had initially waved any issues as per your having a son. He changed his mind that's just what it is.
    Move on. Weep not.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Some men don't want to marry a woman with a child out of wedlock yet they have made many girls to abort for them. Which is better: having the child or aborting it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But if this man has never slept with a woman or impregnate one he should now pay for others sins. Why do we like generalizing and yet all you babes on this blog want a good man but you are also to be the first to bully and cuss a good man for having issues with something he never planned for.

      Delete
    2. Why open your legs for a man who is not your husband when it isn't a case of rape?

      Delete
  43. Young lady, try using Google to find out the number of guys/men we have in Nigeria. Next, ask yourself if atleast 10 men won't find you and your baggage okay enough to wife you. Marriage is for better or worse and forever, if that guy can't overlook you having a son out of wedlock how will he tolerate your wrong doings if he eventually marries you.
    but seriously you made a mistake of not telling him about your son from the scratch. As it is, I don't blame whatever decision he takes. You led him in wrongly

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  44. Let him go, he is not your knight in shinning armour. Your true love wont give excuses because of an event that occurred in your past. Stay strong love will find you.

    ReplyDelete
  45. @Trinity nwanne'm you cracked me up seriously..@blink the wrong way!
    @Poster...do yourself the favour of walking away NOW!!!!!!
    I made the same mistake of being with a guy...nah, Pastor who didnt like my boys. I thought he just wanted us to spend time alone without plenty interruptions from them and all..not until he verbally told me he cant raise another man's children(thier dad is late) and also told me to send them away when they came to visit and wanted to spend the night last year easter holzz. My dear...that was what made my entire family hate him and reject him...Note that the kids werent living with me oo...they're already in School.
    My dear, i had to pull out of such relationship and im in a better place now.
    Some men do not have the capacity to accept other men's kids...
    Your friend is obviously one of such men...dont endanger your son's future because of your emotions....
    God always gives in full measure not half measures....When God gives you a man..it'll be a man who'll love your son to bits and even adopt him....
    But this one....naa..he aint yours...coz he's half measure.

    let him go and allow God give you your complete Joy....
    even if he comes back to tell you he will accept you with your son...the fact that he already had an issue with your son is anoda wahala...coz it'll always be there....

    Ask yourself this question....Am i willing to abandon or put my son's future in geopardy because of a man i'm not even sure of?
    It's just a month thingy oo....How sure are you that you both will make a great couple?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I love your comment. I remember the guy i talked about who would skype with my son n all. My family loved him due to this.and i was happy too. That is exactly what i pray for when praying for a husband.not the kind that doesn't want to see your child. If you marry such a person that child will suffer at his hands. Same goes with women and baby daddies

      Delete
  46. I agree with Stella infinty%..That man is wicked and you need to learn the art of letting go..He is not meant for you and yes U said it at the right time cause telling him from the beginning will make some men be discouraged..It is imminent that he is not for you, any man that cant accept you with ur child, forget about him infact fuck him..When its them they want you to accept already..Shame to you , weak man..

    That is how one american woman drowned her children cause the ''love of her life'' would not accept her children. her name is Susan Smith and another is Andrea Yates..

    ReplyDelete
  47. To call this person you are dating a boy is to insult all boys; he is a toy
    A real man who really loves you will adopt that 11 year old boy
    He will know that it is a virtue to keep a child even when you were raped
    He will know that you are a fertile woman in the first place
    Has he seen that 11 year old young man; so he wanted you to kill him?
    A real man will judge you by the content of your character which he has seen
    I am sorry you are not dating a man
    kudos for not killing that innocent soul
    kudos for not giving this "sex toy" your vagina
    Stay pure girl and God will be your reward.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm amused the way you thow around the term "real man". Appears it means the man who fits your own narrow world view. If a person does not want to be with a person that has a child it is their choice. Be it a man not wanting a woman with a child ,or a woman not wanting a man with a child. In this blog I have read a lot of comments when it's a man with a child, and I general most of the female posters tell the babe to run. So why should it be different for a man? Let a person choose the person they want to be with, and stop trying to bully them for making their own choice.

      Delete
  48. To call this person you are dating a boy is to insult all boys; he is a toy
    A real man who really loves you will adopt that 11 year old boy
    He will know that it is a virtue to keep a child even when you were raped
    He will know that you are a fertile woman in the first place
    Has he seen that 11 year old young man; so he wanted you to kill him?
    A real man will judge you by the content of your character which he has seen
    I am sorry you are not dating a man
    kudos for not killing that innocent soul
    kudos for not giving this "sex toy" your vagina
    Stay pure girl and God will be your reward.

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  49. Thanks for not aborting that young man
    Thanks for not giving this joke of a boy your vagina
    Stay strong and know that such a fellow is not worth a jewel like you

    ReplyDelete
  50. Your son is not a wall between you and this guy
    The wall is the clear disparity of character and morality
    He is morally depraved and warped!
    Is he a YD?

    ReplyDelete
  51. I apologize if my comment will hurt anyone. Why not be honest from beginning? Just say I'm a single mum, period. We all know the method let him fall in love first so he can't leave even after you tell him of your son. I'm a woman & I have vowed never ever to marry a man with a child. I know what I suffered sharing my dad with half siblings that went all diabolical. Please it's a choice! He is not wicked. I will protect my unborn child with everything I do not want any half siblings. My child will be the only apple of me & her father's eyes. Poster you are very manipulative. The guy is not wicked because you never told him from the start and you do not even love your son. First you hide him now crying over a man that wouldn't accept him, that child should be your number one priority. Move on! When you meet someone be honest from the beginning & be very proud of your son next time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbosa!
      I tire for those throwing around insults. Poor child.
      Where the heck is the Randy neighbor that got her preggy in the first place?

      Delete
  52. Madam poster, let him go. The guy is not wicked. It's his choice abeg. After all, many of us girls don't want a man with a child.

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  53. Aint easy raising another man's child. I know a man who raised another man's child. When the boy was all grown he told the man to go to hell and went looking for his father. What is yours will always be yours.

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  54. I don't blame the guy. I just don't. She told him she was raped.Do u know what ru s in the rapist's family? Did the little boy inherit some of his father's behavioural traits? Life is not black or white!

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  55. Lady, move the fck on. Your child will always be in your life, many of you women feel that because you have a child out of wedlock you don't deserve the best and will settle for any little just to say you have a man. My dear, don't you see the 39 yr old French President married to a senior citizen who has children older than him. There is a man who will love you the way you should be, and will accept your son as his own. Don't settle for less, know your worth. You are likely hungry for love which is understandable, you were raped at a young age which is a very traumatic experience, likely you never had any therapy, so your self-worth may be low. Get some counseling for yourself if you can afford to. If you can't afford counseling, then spend 15 minutes a day looking in the mirror saying I love you, you are wonderful, you are worthy of all the best in life, keep doing until you are set free from within, you will know when that is.

    ReplyDelete
  56. crazyhornywife22 May 2017 at 18:22

    Nah,i think everyone has a right to decide what they want in life witout being called wicked!! Poster try to be honest with anyone you go into a relationship with,whoever ll love you must accept your son. Dont go that route of allow love flow first before telling it all.
    The same way ladies cant deal with baby daddy drama is exactly the same way men cant deal with baby mama drama!!!!

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  57. Haba Stella...Not everyone can cope with this kinda situation. Every mallam with his own kettle.

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  58. Its not easy opening up about your status immediately. It opens old wounds, considering the fact that she was raped. Both mother and soon need love & acceptance. Madam, ur man wd come believe me.

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  59. Ayanma. I cant touch after1

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What is ayanma? Are you perfect? Mtcheew. We are all human regardless.

      Delete
  60. Trinity why are you carry this matter on your head like this? Why all the anger? Did any man send you to get pregnant without being married, pls take your anger to the lagoons. In ur next world tie ur legs together. You people will go and do trash with it lives and expect one man to come and carry your baggage in the name of love.

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  61. You guys are getting it wrong..Why stella said the guy is wicked , is fine..You dont want a woman that has a child,Why is he using prayers to deceive the lady knowing well he doesnt want the woman with child..Try to see things deeply..You dont want her, u make it plain..stop wasting the woman's time..

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  62. Did he expect you to choose him over your son? Please let him go your own will come

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  63. This chronicle made me tear my pant. Nne biko dude is not worth it, inugo...biko move onnu

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  64. I have a friend that has eleven years son. She married a man that has nineteen years son. It's fits them because both has a child out of wedluck. You have to be specific on whom you want. Don't be deceived most single guys can't marry a woman with a child. Look out for your type.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's so rare. It takes the grace of God and true love for a guy to marry someone that already has kids o

      Delete
  65. God bless you Stella ...Mr you are truly a wicked man and not a good person. Sister please run.

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  66. just like some women do not like men with baggage, some men don't like it too. Sister, be patient, your husband is coming.

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  67. I need not read comments about this.

    Babe that guy does not love you in return.

    Just walk now. Thank you

    ReplyDelete
  68. Is he marrying the child or the mother? If you love the mother, you must love the child. Obviously you cannot make that woman happy by forcing her to part with her son because of you. That boy is not a rival to you. If really love this woman you should love her son too and this woman will give you all her love. If you truly love someone, you will love them with their baggage. Obviously your love is not strong enough!

    ReplyDelete

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