Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

This is really really bad!





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE:::
A CHILDHOOD OF PAIN AND MOVING ON

Hi Stella and Fellow BVs, I'm very grateful for this platform that allow people share their stories. Thank you Stella.

So my story goes thus: my mum had me as a teenager, my grandma forced her to be married to my dad, my grandfather refused but there wasn't much he could do as he was on a sick bed, my dad was a young boy serving his master while my mum was a JSS3 student.

 So when my mum moved in with him, he abandoned her and ran away, she was brought back home, he was from a different state and my mum's family knew nothing about him. Besides my mums family is rich

and very influential, this was a blow to their prestige, my mum refused to abort even after all the threats, when she had me, she was told to continue her schooling which she did and graduated from a university with a B.SC in Economics. 


So growing up was hell, everyone called me a bastard, i was lonely, i was ashamed and i built a wall around myself, i don't open up to people because they see me as less a human including my mums family, she was also treated as trash, she tried killing both of us severally but each time she would reconsider. 


I was moved from one house to the other, my mum even asked me to call her Aunt, i was treated as a shame,life was hell, i found solace in my my books, i was an outstanding student, at age 11 i got a scholarship, i finished my secondary school, mum remarried and her husband cut my off totally, i didn't set my eyes on her for years. I got admission into a university, and today I'm married to a wonderful husband with a baby that makes me laugh like a crazy person, but the problem is when i was 14 i prayed to God to wipe out my childhood memories because all i could remember from it was pain and more pain, i don't feel any emotions.

I married cause i needed to have a place to call my own, my husband deserves love and care, my baby also deserve love but I'm still trying to find myself, pls advice me on how to move on.



98 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. May God heal you.. Ameen.. Pray.. Forgive even when the people that hurt you didn't even ask for forgiveness.. LOVE&LOVE..

      Delete
    2. coolio mama patience sister24 May 2017 at 18:02

      From your gist, I actually seemed you had moved on, but since you haven't, there is nothing much than to concentrate on your present life. Get busy, love people, make money and pray always.

      Delete
    3. U already did, u just dont knw. D only tin u need now is to pik up ur child, look her in d eyes n promise her ur best as long as ure alive.

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    4. Madam I nor go lie you this matter big pass this blog. Therapy is needed

      Delete
    5. U need to draw closer to God, he's the only one that can give you true peace and happiness,and whenever the thought of your past starts hurting you, always remember that you're privilege to have 2 things alot of people pray for everyday(Your husband & child). Learn to be thankful to God for the gift of life and for giving your child a home which you never really had. Engage your self in things that gives you joy,& with time you will eventually heal.
      One thing is for sure,when you always acknowledge God for preserving your life despite all the trauma you went through, he will surely comfort you & heal your heart.
      Remember there's someone out there that also went through the same thing you went through,and there's someone going through the same thing right now and hoping to have some of the things you have now.
      I pray you get over your past soon ijn.

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    6. Also tell yourself always that you have gotten over this. Bc you can go for therapy, it will burst the bubble but it's in your hands to keep it bursted. I have seen that God actually gave you blessings to make you forget the pains of yesterday, don't dwell on hating/feeling ashamed of yourself in the mistake of others. God can't wipe it away, it's your testimony. I am sure there are millions of people you can encourage with your story. You are loved, you have been accepted, please give your child something beautiful to look at when he/she grows up watching you.

      Delete
  2. You need counselling. Please let old things pass away which i know it is not easy, but find it in your heart to forgive and move on.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You need counselling. Please let old things pass away which i know it is not easy, but find it in your heart to forgive and move on.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Embrace God!

    He will show you the way and give you all you will ever ask of him! He is the answer to your problems.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. Poster, I will also advice you to get close to Joyce Meyer. I mean, she suffered more than what you suffered and today she is impacting millions of people.
      Get her tapes, listen to her messages, read her biography, get her books of you wish you can subscribe to her weekly newsletter.
      The only person or solution that will make you leave those memory behind is the joy and comfort that comes from God. You need his grace to overcome this not human power.
      Start with Joyce Meyer, with time you will find out about other women but only Joyce Meyer will be enough for you if you follow her diligently.

      Delete
  5. Learn to forgive yourself, then you will seek peace within you. You are still holding grudges to all who hurt you, i pray you go for counselling so that you can unburden what has been eating you up.

    May God heal you of bitterness. What you need is prayer and counselling. It is well. forgive what happened and learn to love. You are truly bitter and it is not helping matters. I pray you dont transfer bitter agression to your child and husband Amen

    ReplyDelete
  6. Everyone has a past poster!...
    If we all continue to hold it in our hearts,most people would have died of HBP!...
    You don't even have a problem sef,try and move on and focus on the presence!...
    Go for shopping,make your hair and nails,look beautiful!...
    Forget your mother mehn and focus on your children...
    Life goes on!..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have bn through similar situations, it's not that easy
      And I prayed to forget so that I can move on but now the problem is I am very forgetful of both good and bad
      It's even affecting my Academic and though am very beautiful,tall and very intelligent I have very critically low self esteem
      It's never easy just keep bn strong and try to be appreciative, bn appreciative has really helped me move on and love people despite the odd

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    2. You need counselling. Months of therapy. That's the only way you'll ever find closure.
      All the best dear.

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    3. Queen you are so shallow its amazing. Gosh u have absolutely nothing useful in that only for aesthetic brain of yours. Yes she has a problem cos she finding it hard to show love to hubby...
      Poster if u are a Christian read your bible and study the scriptures concerning love...declare it, confess it and tell God what you wanr your life to be...forgive your parents,ask the holy spirit for help...am not saying it is easy or things will change overnight but u Will gradually begin to let go. Trust me I have seen amazing testimonies of Gods healing power

      Delete
  7. This is a testimony and not a chronicle. you should be grateful to God that against all odds you made it

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    Replies
    1. You so right @plenty money. Ur story will even somebody else. Just be happy with urself and family.

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    2. Correct abeg come drink one bottle for my head

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    3. Exactly....
      Let it go poster. I know its difficult, but you have to gather yourself and move on..

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    4. Abeg come chop pepper soup fon bill
      Poster please move on
      Your mum will look for you someday

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    5. Thnk u. Dont knw wat else shes searching 4. B happy n always put a smile on d faces of d ones who loves u.

      Delete
  8. Move on dear, it wasn't your mom's fault and on the aspect of your mom telling her to call her aunty I see nothing wrong with that because while growing up I had friends that were born out of wedlock and most call their mom aunty in order for suitors to locate them easily.do you think its this days that babymama's title are trending like one with a gold menda,those days you look like you are condemned. So pls let it go,I see no point in you saying you are still finding yourself,no point pls.

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    Replies
    1. Yes it's good for the mom but its bad for the Child especially since she was not in a loving environment.

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    2. Stupid comment. Thats y people suffer and conmit sucide cos people just never understand the real issues

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  9. Poster, Don't ever dwell on the past move on!Love your family.Every one of us here had a rough past,but what matters most is where you are going.

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  10. You don even marry you still deh talk.those of us like you weh never see husband house just so we can have a place of our own what should we do?we are still moving from place to place,carrying our pain everywhere should now commit suicide?you even have a child that makes you laugh.SMH,sweetie gratitude is the word.be grateful for a lot of things you have.we have the same story but I don't have half the things you have.#begrateful#

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Honestly your advice it lit!

      Be grateful poster, when you look around you, there are some people you are better than and wish to have what you have now. Use that to thank your God and forget your pains. God's love has made you have all you have now, be grateful for that.

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    2. sweet chocolate24 May 2017 at 15:38

      The only way you can move is to wholeheartedly forgive those who hurt and the best way to do that is to be one with the Lord who forgives us all,change your perspective to seeing those things that brought you pain but rather see them as the fire that sharpeneth the iron (you),without those events you are likely not going to where you are now, always consider yourself a lucky champion, do you know how many people who grew up with love and became useless as adults due to pampering? ,since you are a first class victim of hate you ought to be a disciple of love, move towards Christ and you will find love, it is a transition thing, u may have no idea you love them till you are in a situation of nearly losing them, another way is to wake up every morning and tell your husband I love you accompanied with a peck and tell your child mummy loves you every morning,the fact you sent this in means you care for them already, there is no standard of love, some are outward about it while some are conservative with it,just live by the biblical thumb rule, do unto others what you want others to do for yourself, extend this love to every thing/one that comes your way especially those who cannot repay e.g house helps,drivers,beggars and animals etc. before doing anything to them ask yourself how you would feel if someone does same to you.give to the poor,the orphans and widows.you can also check up free e-books online about how to love.you are a survivor and I admire your strength.

      Delete
  11. This story really got to me. My dear, first start by forgiving your dad, mum and her family. Then start loving yourself. Look in the mirror everyday and tell yourself positive words like " I am beautiful,wonderful, harmonious, happy, loving, kind etc' fall in love with your self and with time you will start loving other people around you.
    It's well with you. I hope this helps.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear what you just related up there is serious. You feel dead inside. You need counseling and prayers. Try to wholeheartedly embrace Gods' love and grace. He will give you the grace to love Him, love yourself, and love others. He will help you forgive, put the past behind you and forge ahead in His plan and purpose for your life.

      Delete
  12. Love love love is all you need
    Don't let your past define your future.
    Remember the future is greater than the past.

    Forget about the past hunnay, whenever it comes calling (I.e your thoughts) try to shake it off cos it has nothing new to say.
    Concentrate on your new family. Let it be love filled.
    ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster take this advice.
      Time heals all wound you just need to be willing to heal.
      You are still dwelling on the past that's why you still hurt. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
      Go listen to that message of T.D Jakes about letting it go, it will probably help. Wish you the best.

      Delete
  13. Stories like this is what endears me to this blog. Dear, you are an inspiration to me and please don't stop seeing the light in you. God bless you and I celebrate you.

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  14. Sorry poster, just find solace in God, Ur hubby and child

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    Replies
    1. My dear poster,u went tru all u went tru and u still standing strong!u graduated,u happily married,and u hv a child! Wat else do u want frm Nature or God?do u knw der are people in ur shoes dat don't evn hv half of wat u hv?de are nt graduates,no food to eat!no shelter of dia own! No mother!No father!No money!No Husband! So wat are talking about? Y don't u just go on ur knees and Just Tell God Tank U everyday for all u hv rit now,despite all uv bn tru in d past! Poster I Tink U just sounding vry vry ungrateful To God and it's vry unfortunate!To tink dat u sent dis as a chronicle,beats my imagination!Do u knw der are people dat are just Beging God To live rit now?de are in hospital beds,some wit terminal ailments!some with ailments dat d doctors can not explain! Some wit ailments dat de can't even foot dia medical bills to get treated by d hospitals!poster,pls try and be grateful To God I beg u! Don't be an ingrate! Alwys Tank God For helping u go tru wat u went tru and still standing Strong! Pls endeavour To Tank God And Our Saviour Jesus Christ Every Day Of ur life and Existence! Forget about D past And Move On and Embrace D future positively! I wsh u d vry best of luck!

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    2. Anons 17.23 God bless you

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    3. What are u thanjing her for? She makes light of what someone is going through and u thank her? This has nothing to do with gratitude..she has not healed from her past so cant embrace the present or future. She was shown love so is incapable of expressing love to others. Stop making light of her situation and quit being judgemental

      Delete
  15. Sorry poster, just find solace in God, Ur hubby and child

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  16. See a professional therapist please. The consistently angry ladies on this blog you're seeking solution from equally need help like you. They will only give you anger-inspired 'advice'. Run to a therapist now! Sorry about your predicament.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Thank God yours turned out well, others had it worse; yet no footing. Those memories cannot be permanently erased, you need to take solace in God and be grateful for coming out of that misery. If you have enough, you can assist people in dire need or such situations similar to what you passed through. There's this joy that comes from helping others, you forget all your pain and sorrow and feel nothing but love.

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    Replies
    1. I like your comments. This is the best advice poster. Pls even with what you have, little or much, if you stubmble on anyone who went through similar issues, minister grace to them and you will find this rewarding and fulfilling

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  18. You need to talk to someone ,see a therapist. Reconnect with your mum ,free your self from the contempt ,shame .....forgive your mother ,forgive her family ,forgive her husband.it's hard but that is the only way to be free.you will be fine love .

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  19. Make God your friend, I think every other things will fall in place. Read the Bible always, and discover a new Joy within you. Then let that joy guide you and like a magic, it will flow through you into your husband.

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  20. I am so happy ur story ended well. Achim obi na aka while reading ur story. Thank God. I am happy it ended positively. Pls pray to God. U can not do it alone. AskHim to send d Holy spirit to u. Him alone will wipe it away. And pls try to be a loving wife to ur husband. It is well with you

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  21. Of cus yhu yaff moofed on... Eat is onli left for yhu to moof on emoshionaly...

    How do eye sojest yhu do dat? bigin to biuld yhua emoshion aruond yhua farmili by cleming yhu had payed dey oltimate prise, wish minx yhu had parsed thru pains dat dey may haff joy an piss of mind...

    Seaing smyle on thier facis shool meck yhu a foolfilled sombori... Bigin to teck yhua attainshion from doze tinz dat hot yhu in dey parse and sea yhua farmili as yhua new laif wer dey loff yhu cool north gate in yhua forma laif, yhu now haff eat at in abondanse.

    God epp yhu.

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    Replies
    1. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

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    2. Ohhh lawd, @villager.u always give us homework as comments, bikonu buy some sense.inu?

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    3. Villager ma niggah!!

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    4. Anon 16:15, hope you buy the sense yourselfand for telling him to buy sense. He doesn't write well yet it doesn't stop him from contributing the little he can, and as much intelligent comment.
      If you can't read his comment, pass and don't insult him.

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    5. You are the learner Great lady. Villager writes extremely well. Just deliberately does this to give those that have time to read his comments, a headache.

      Delete
  22. Dear poster, the good thing bout it all is that you are in your happy place. In all of these, it turned out better, Thank God you are happier than you were. Hold on to that and remember,life isnt always rosy. Thank God that phase ddnt define you but instead, made you better

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    Replies
    1. Poster you can counsel yourself o, look in the mirror, smile and remind yourself how lucky you are that your mum refused to abort you. She has given you a chance to life and to hold your own child. I don't blame your mum, she could have ended up a bitter mum and you'd grow up to hate her. My dear those memories will be worse, you don't want to know how it feels to wake up to a bitter mum everyday, possibilities are you will not have ended this well.
      The past is in the past, what do you want to make of now and future? A happy wife who gave her hubby all the joy he deserves? Forgive the past, love life!

      MrsBee

      Delete
  23. Go see a therapist. You owe it to yourself and family to be mentally healthy so you can love them the way that they deserve to be loved!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Dear poster, why are you still dwelling on the past. God just prepared you for the task ahead. Move on.

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  25. Dear poster,childhood neglect makes one feel wounded and deprived,the hurt is always deep if those who caused pain are our own parents,take responsibility for your own happiness,stop dwelling on the past,put your attention on your present moment experiences to heal,be happy everything turned out well,and trust God to heal you totally.

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  26. Awwwwwwww....Pls darling pick up d pieces of ur life and move on...Stop thinking abt d memories of ur childhood pls....Most of d successful pple u see today have bad memories of their childhood but dey didn't allow it to weigh dem down....Pls b postive abt ur life....Love urslf more and show love 2 ur family and people around u....Draw closer 2 God more den ever and ur story will change 4 good...God bless u.

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  27. Poster you don't have a problem. Just be thankful. Time heals. Just focus on your marriage and put the past behind you.

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  28. The only wey you can find closure is if you let go and let God.poster are you a born again Christian? If yes,then you ask the Holy Spirit to console n give you closure,I haven't been there so I do not know how you feel,people might think you have had it all because you are now married with a baby,but you alone know the definition of your own happiness. I wish you the best.

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  29. The only wey you can find closure is if you let go and let God.poster are you a born again Christian? If yes,then you ask the Holy Spirit to console n give you closure,I haven't been there so I do not know how you feel,people might think you have had it all because you are now married with a baby,but you alone know the definition of your own happiness. I wish you the best.

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  30. Sweetheart!! Do you watch Accelerate Tv's King woman By Kemi Adetiba..There is a latest episode uploaded yesterday and the interviewee is Ayodeji Mogbepo>>watch that interview it will help you..Am sorry for how you feel and you cant forget your childhood memories, please dont force yourself dats the truth>>have you discussed this with your husband?? You also need to see a matured counsellor..Be happy that you went this and dont be ashamed to tell your story in order to inspire someone..You have got to heal in order for you to forgive her..Pity her cause she acted that way based on her own strength or how she saw things..recite this every morning ''I have got to be happy today, I owe myself that much''..Please do this for you..

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  31. Madam poster or wetin I go kal u now.. I dont think u ave any problem at all.

    First, u need to be thankful to Jah for bringing you this far and also, from ur chronicle, u married cuz u needed a place to call ur own.

    Hmmmmmm

    U need to calm down, make ur home be full of love, happiness and joy, dont brake ur home due to ur childhood xperience.

    Go forth and look for ur mum,, its very important cuz dis will help u alot.. Speak to ur family, I mean ur mums family, they should be able to give u an head way..



    I rest my case and comment my reserve.




    Mc pinky ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’ฒ

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  32. Pls dear forgive yourself first before you forgive your mum and everyone! God has blessed you pls rejoice

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  33. Sorry for all you went thru. But it's time you left the past. Holding unto it will only disrupt u from life's joy. And the only way of doing this is by forgiveness.
    Forgiveness is never easy, it's almost impossible when we think of the pain and hurt we must have suffered. If you have a hard time forgiving ask God to help you. Pray for your family. When you do these His softens your heart and all the hurts, anger and resentment turns to love.
    Now forgiving them doesn't make them right or justify what they did to you. It set you free from the bondage of anger. And release them into God's hand.
    It's well with you. You deserve all the love and happiness. Don't let the past steal it.

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  34. All you need is inner peace. May God help you find peace and closure and forgive those that have hurt you. Hugs

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  35. I thank God that u are in a happy place now
    Try and go for counseling and learn to forgive those who have hurt u

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  36. You just wrote my story even till now I still call my mum Aunty and she still tells people am her sister only people that knows her so well ,but am married now I have a cute son so should I be worried about my mum or how to better my son's life ?

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  37. Poster, just be giving thanks to God for what he has done for you, the past will be a forgotten issue one-day,if you let go, hope you are in touch with your mum, just try and make peace with yourself and others, it is well with you

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  38. Forgive your mum n those who hurt you, pray for inner peace and move on, focus on your family and LOVE them with all of your heart, It is well with you.

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  39. You are suffering from unprocessed trauma. You need counselling from a psychologist.
    Two main things you need to learn: 1. Acceptance - this will help you to come to terms with your past. 2. Mindfulness - in order for you to learn to live in the moment and develop positive thinking.
    If you can afford it, pls see a psychologist otherwise you child and marriage may suffer as a result.
    I hope and pray you get help.
    God bless you ❤

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  40. Oh dear, just forgive your parent and let go of your past. There are so many people that will see it as an excuse to fail but you conquered the situation. Just let go of the past and you will see the magic

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  41. I am sure you felt so much better after typing this. Free the pain your heart by telling someone or even writing it down in a journal. Lash out and purge yourself. God has blessed you, give thanks..cheers

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  42. Poster,
    sorry to hear about the emotional trauma you experienced growing up.. but like queen and boss of the blog said please shake it off..The truth is that most times no body cares about your pains..You have to dust up your self and face the future squarely and continue to conquer and summount the challenges..theyre always there, one way or another. So please be strong. what happened, has happened .At least you have a son and a husband( hopefuly he will love you).But if he doesn't don't be surprised! Learn to love yourself and be a strong woman for yourself and for your kids..cheers!

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  43. Poster.....honestly, I am moved by your story. I will advice that you learn to forgive your mum and move on with your life. My dear there are many of us with our story and we decided to enjoy life cause you've got one life to live.
    Thank God you turn out well. So daily say good things to yourself and enjoy your joy and family. Read the bible too if you're a Christian, you will see that it has been God all this while......forgive your mum too, don't condemn her , try to hear her story and may be the two of you can reconnect again. E-hug dear

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  44. Poster if only I knew you. We could talk and learn a lot from each other and possibly share experiences.
    Thing is, I have the same story as yourself. The only difference is that I am a guy and my mother wasn't from a rich background but my pops was from a notable family.
    Today I am an engineer and a big boy in my own right, even though i, yet to have everything but i'm doing just fine.
    I went through it all just like you and was a very outstanding student.
    You would be fine.

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  45. see a psychologist please.. vent n get a closure . for ur mental being

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  46. It's well with you dear, please forget the past and move on, also forgive those that wronged you.

    Focus on your new family and learn to enjoy and cherish every moments with them .

    E-hug for you ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™‡๐Ÿ™‡๐Ÿ™‡๐Ÿ™‡๐Ÿ™‡๐Ÿ™‡๐Ÿ™‡

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  47. You're such a brave brave woman!! ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘
    I'm happy you have a good life. Please madam, go for counselling. Talk to a psychologist, let it all out. That anger is still inside and thats why you feel cold beneath it all. Keep praying ask the Holy Spirit to lead you and heal you. And surrender to the healing process. Tell your mum how you feel. Shes more mature now and maybe able to understand her mistakes better. *hugs* You will be just fine.

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  48. I have a cousin. Shes in her mid 40s now and a black beauty. Her mum married a rich man at a young age and when she was preggers with my cousin her husband died in a car accident. My cousin was born a spitting image of her dad. But my late aunt transferred this anger of being a young widow unto my cousin. She felt her husband won't be traveling all the way if she wasn't too pregnant to do the journey instead. The man was a returnee and didnt know Nigerian roads well and this was in the 70s. My cousin grew up in a similar situation- dumped with her grannie, hated by her mum, scolded for nothing, lacking a father figure and her mum never remarried.
    When she was in uni, she preffered to come to my dad's for holiday because she couldn't stay with her mum anymore. Gosh!! My cousin was so bitter and angry. To stay with her was a problem. My mum counselled and counselled - for wia??

    After nysc, my dad's late friend who was an ED helped her into his bank. So she now had a good job. She was transferred to our state of origin and was a BM in good time. When she heard i was living with my granny in 100L she called my dad and told him why would she had a huge flat and I'm living win my granny. That i should come to hers sharply. I excitedly moved in. JESU!! Her anger, bitterness, malice and resentment was out if this world. I love my cousin but she was so difficult to stay with. You cant even make sounds on the floor with your feet, it's an issue. She was so bitter. Suitors keep coming cos if her beauty, but they don't stay. And i really don't blame them. I pray for her everyday cos she will frustrate me and still dash me money on top that time in uni. So i understand her very well and don't talk when shes starts her drama. Everytime she starts i wjll just hug her very tightly and she will be screaming: dont hug me! Lie lie love!! That's how all of you say you love me but you leave me alone in my head!! She will now start shedding tears. When i finish she will hiss and walk away. By evening she will still ask me if she should buy suya on her way back.

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    1. Eyahhhhhh

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    2. Wow and this is the exact cause of some people's behaviour (their past n foundation), yet we won't know and start wondering,"what's up with this person?" Thank God you were able to understand this from her past and you treated her with love.these are cases meant for the psychologist but that is if the person involved understands where his/her problem starts from.God help us all not to judge unjustly.

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  49. Your problem lady is essentially forgiveness.
    You've found happiness but you seem not to be enjoying it
    Because you still harbor resentment toward those in your "former" family that offended you and your mom.
    If you do not forgive, you will end up depriving yourself bliss
    Think about it, can you send your granddad, grand mom, dad or uncle a birthday present?
    Will you be so happy if you hear that a heavy trawler truck ran over their cars?

    Romans 12:17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:

    “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
    In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[e]
    21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

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    Replies
    1. She does not feel anything. Forgiveness has nothing to do with it. I understand exactly what she is passing through. She needs closure. She could forgive her parents and still feel this way. What she needs is CLOSURE!

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  50. So, shortly before her mum died she met a pastor, who was a counsellor and organized weekly prayers for her. One day, she burst out crying in the middle of the prayer session. Pastor asked them to leave her. By 10pm he called my dad and was like she gave him his number that she has been crying for almost 6 hours and shes not talking and she's shivering. He explained everything to my dad. My dad asked him to leave her like that but they should keep praying. She cried and slept for almost 12 hours.
    At this time, she wasn't in talking terms with her mum - she was an only child. When she woke up she didn't eat for like a whole day. One of our relatives went to her she wasn't talking. After two days she said alot of memories were coming back that she even remembered things she had forgotten. So her spirit became weak and broken that's why she was crying. A month later she went to look for her mum. They had it hot. She bared it all to her mum and asked her mum WHY. After she left, her mum slept and woke up very weak the next day. She slumped in the bathroom and was rushed to the hospital. They say na stroke, next thing she fell into a coma and passed on from there. My cousin resumed crying for months. She's been blaming herself for her mother's death for years. She regrets bottling up and not seeking help earlier. Anyway, we are still on the matter.

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    1. Wow, that's​why no matter what we should​always speak out(it's not easy especially from someone as a mother) but things of this world are complicated like that, we should always choose the easiest way.Open up, speak out at the end of the day, death is the surest but one thing you had made sure is, you are at peace with every living being and things on earth.Communication is key, no other way to it.I pray she talks about this her guilt, it will help her to release herself and prevent what had happened before from reoccurring again.God is her strength!

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  51. dear poster kindly contact your parent if is possible, God is the only solution.

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  52. Moral lesson: Seek counselling early. The more you hold it the more toxic your life will get. And the day you eventually let it out, it may not come out nicely. You may even begin to take it out on innocent people. Please see a psychologist asap.

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  53. My dear ##if I start to talk#,I will type till tomorrow..Most children born out of wedlock feel this way dear..my own parents stayed together against their parents advice and both families gave them hell..My mums people didn't want to see her or we the children,neither did my dads people,after a while my dad started seeing us as the cause of his problem,he told me severally being the first child that I was the cause of his problem,and kept asking me if I knew where his life will be if he didn't have me..my mums family said shes very intelligent and would have done so well for herself if she didn't have me..one even told me to my face that I was lucky he saw her far into her pregnancy if not he will have made sure I was aborted..I'm very sure I didn't ask to be born,neither did my siblings..It hurts when you are neglected and hated by people who are supposed to care about you..but you know what,We cracked yeah but we didn't break..I am my siblings are moving forward in life,I'm out of the university looking for a job,our last born is in the university,we are moving forward in life and we will prove ourselves to everybody's shame..forget the past dear and all the hurt..what doesn't kill you makes you stronger..you dont need anybody's validation only God's..At all times be grateful for what you have in the present and keep telling yourself it can only get better..Learn what you can from the past as leave it where it is..Forgive those who hurt you and move on..God be with you

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    1. You already have the solution and mindset #forgiveness and with that all you do will prosper in Jesus name, Amen!Not easy but God is/will be your strength.

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  54. May God heal you. May the holy spirit open your heart and emotions. What you need is to let go of the past. Let it go. Pray sincerely for the grace to forgive your mom,dad and mum's family. It's hard but it is for your own good. You don't have to have a relationship with them if you don't want to. But pray to forgive them. Do not every sew yourself as a mistake despite what everyone told you. You are not a bastard. God approves of you no matter how you came into this world. Love your yourself , husband and child. May God give you the grace to be a great mom and wife. It is well with you. I said a prayer for you.

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  55. There is nothing here to deliberate upon,because you seem to have done well for yourself
    Focus your positive energy towards your family and try not to live in the past always.God has guided you through a rough path and he is leading you into higher glory.we all have chequered past so you are not alone.

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  56. I really wish my blog name will show,but this kpansala phone no go ever gree.my dear I have been there,abandon,treated shabilly,cursed,mocked,infact abused. How did I get over it? The day I realized nobody can really be of help,except God. Hold unto God,that's where u will find solace. Don't look for anybody. Look up to God alone.

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  57. Poster, move on with your life and make the best of it. Those that hurt you will definitely seek you at some point in this life. Stay strong.

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  58. #Do not allow your loneliness to lower your standards*

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  59. Let God as you have asked Him to cancel those memories @14 years, He will help you just continue to tell Him.I am not a spirikoko kind of Christian but when I had to let go of a 10 year old relationship based on distance, He helped me.I believe in prayer but when you have it in mind to talk to God as if He is besides you, then be sure things will happen to your​ psyche, I believe it because I have witnessed it.Let God and your deliverance is on the way.God bless.

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