Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Na wah!!!




STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WHEN BIRTHING FEMALE CHILDREN IS A CRIME

Good day Mrs Stella,pls i want my story to be a chronicle and if
approved,let me know when u will post it.As a youth,i was a member of a Pentecostal church and a choir member when i was introduced to my husband by a church member,we courted for a few years before marriage,i was still in school then,so after my service year we got married,that was after doing HIV test,genotype,pregnancy test and blood group,all the test result were okay.although during our courtship i noticed some bad altitude which i foolishly ignored and was putting the church member that introduced us into consideration
not knowing that i have my own life to live.


Now the marriage is 12 years with 3 daughters,i am 40 years while hubby is 53 years old,it has been hell.when my second daughter was 5yrs,she was diagnosed to be SS(sickler),it was a big blow to me,my whole world almost crumbled but
after i was properly educated over her condition i have been trying my best to give her the proper care.i even went to the lab the test was carried out in my state,the lab attendant no longer work there,the owner of the lab said he does not know what went wrong.

Now after 12 years of marriage my husband want me out of the house that i have female children for him and that he is tired of the marriage.he nags constantly,my presence irritates him,apart from paying the kids school fees,every other expenses falls on me with a salary of less than thirty thousand naira as a civil servant,that before the middle of month the salary is finished and i start borrowing.

To be truthful,nothing gives me joy anymore apart from my kids,sometimes when i look around me and see the situation of things i feel like dying. A friend advised me to report the case at ministry of women affair.

 Please my fellow bvs is it the right thing to do,as i always
report him to family members who will always tell me not to worry that they will talk to him but yet i see no changes,the church member who introduced him to me is late.

Please advice me, i really want to move on with my life but i lack the strength and courage to do so.i am tired of the constant quarrelling,which sometimes lead to pushing,we live
like total stranger,if i greet him he wont answer,if he manage to
answer,he will hum it.

I have been putting my best to make things work out but hubby is not satisfied,i want a peaceful home but do not know what to do again.please advice me.
Thank you.


Is it very very dicey and difficult handling someone who has the kind of mentality your husband does,especially when he doesn't know that he is the one responsible for whatever child you birth.


97 comments:

  1. May God help me with this, I'm short of words




    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes you earn 30 thousand naira. You need to get your side hustle on and double your salary. Even if it is weekend jobs.. catering business, small chops, weekly cleaning, laundry business. This is not the time to have pride or any Ego. Anything that will bring in additional income legitimately without major capital. Start equipping your daughters to learn hand work while keeping their studies up.. so that you and your daughters eventually become independent of him. If in 10yrs he leaves you. You can stand on your feet and send them to University yourself. I can't advise you to divorce him but it's time to work HARD and show your daughters there is no time to waste.

      Delete
    2. Hilary Clinton31 May 2017 at 17:35

      Poster, I feel for you. I know someone it happened to. I advice you try as much as possible to become financially independent. I believe so much in this. If you had enough money of your own, you probably won't be this worried. Set up a business. Buy garri from osun and become a distributor or sthg. There's no shame in some of these things. At 40, you're still earning less than 50k? Ah ah na. If you have enough financial ability, you'll comfortably cater for your daughters and yourself, Since you said your children give you the most joy.
      Keep praying about your husband's behaviour. But if he doesn't change, you won't die if you're fianncialy capable. I wish you well.

      Delete
    3. Hilary Clinton31 May 2017 at 17:37

      By the way, how come you have an ss daughter? Both of you should be AS. How could those labs have missed that? Naija! Maybe u should sue the labs 😕

      Delete
    4. It's not only one naija! The blood group test I did in Nigeria came out o negative. For some medical reasons, I did another one in a lab in the UK, it came out O positive. I went back to my GP, and the stupid doctor said he will take the result of the one carried out in the UK, Cosby told him the first one was done in Nigeria. I insisted they carry out another test which they did and the result came out negative, validating the one I did in the UK.

      Delete
    5. You mean validating the one you did in Nigeria....

      Delete
  2. That is men for you when you dont give them male children. Madam there is nothing you can do. All you can do is if he comes to knack you in the midnight, just pray that the knacking will bring boy to him. Because he is really fed up with the marraige and seeing only girls. He is just a stupid man.

    Sorry manage him. It is 12 years, God will sustain you. Try and make yourself happy and let him be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I am the woman, I won't even collect any dick again, let him do his worst...
      Annofia church member...mtcheeewwww.

      Woman, please can you go n embarass him in the church??
      Just carry the mic and wholla. Spill it all in d church.. You bring his fucking ass down.. Mofo.. Twuaaaarhhh

      Delete
    2. God will see you through.

      Delete
    3. Poster, if the emotional trauma is too much, Abeg move out. Don't go and die because of marriage mbok.

      Delete
    4. My yori which kind yeye knacking be that...

      Madam I really feel sorry for u honestly...i feel like hugging u...that ur husband huh...can't u ignore him too? I know is not easy but stop trying to please him abeg..

      Yeye man...please move on and make urself happy,ignore him
      Yeye man...

      Delete
    5. Yori yori u are just a stupid idiot. Always making very dumb comments. Irritating goat

      Delete
    6. Poster I really feel for you. Please take solace in the Lord and pray for your husband. I feel like abusing him, but that will accomplish nothing. Why are some men fish brained? A child is a child is a child, no matter the gender. Thank God for my dad who loves his girls and believes only the best can come from us. Do you know one mumu man that was toasting me told me my mother's body was bad because she bore 5 girls. This man is educated, in science for that matter and of eastern extraction. The moment he told me that to my face I knew he was NOT the one. Pls female single BVs, watch out for the signs as much as you can and steer clear of any nonsense.

      Delete
    7. Dis na d thing we dry happen wet person dry over talk. U end up reasoning from ur and Yori yori u Don dey talk too much like chikito d ashewo

      Delete
  3. Your husband sef..I'm sure a male child is d main issue here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @ poster where do you want to go with 3kids? Learn to make yourself happy for the sake of the children...

      Delete
    2. @Anon - what do you mean ' where does she want to go?' Well, it's obvious you do not count peace of mind as paramount. Eben the Bible says that God called us to peace 1st Cor 7:15

      Its not like she's looking to get married again, she just wants peace of mind. And the man is only paying school fees and providing shelter, she's the one taking care of the other stuffs according to the chronicle..

      So yes, report to the Ministry of Women affairs. They will even get him to do more.
      You deserve to live without daily pain and harassment, face your kids and know you are trying for them.

      Be bold, madam. The state you are in is neither good for you, your kids or even your relationship with God. Bitterness is sin!

      Delete
    3. Funny thing is, he has succeeded in subjugating you and making you lose all self esteem, that's why he is acting Lord of the Manor...

      If it was a smart woman since when he started this boy child talk, she would've called family meeting and ask that they tell him to give her a female child oh ( shout out to you, my friend 😂😂 #youknowyaself) , he wouldn't even have mouth to strut about threatening anybody lmao

      Delete
  4. Poster,
    There is a strange woman giving him butterfly somewhere...
    I'm sure the woman has given him a son already!...
    If I were you,I won't go anywhere oh!...
    It's not your fault for not giving him a boy!...
    Stay put my sister!...
    If he beats you,you and your children should use bottle and break his head!...
    Marriage is for better and for worse!...
    My Igbo angels don't behave this way..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When will you have sense?



      * id acting up

      Delete
    2. Noooooooooo.....my eyes must be deceiving me. Marriage is for what? Hahahaha.
      Please o, you must divorce him oo, before dv go add join. Let him go and lick his wounds elsewhere.
      What happened to knacking pigeon and separation stuff and brokeass? Mtcheeew #oloshi

      Delete
    3. The woman should just find a place n go jare..
      No need staying in a house when one is not happy..

      If the man should beat you ehn, see break his head at night with pistel.. (Sorry don't do that)

      Poster I don't know what to say again sef..
      See we all have our problems ooo..
      Just stay strong you here..

      Delete
    4. Another cloned ID???😏😏😏
      You fefu should rest na..

      Delete
    5. Honey, it is only an Igbo man that acts like this over male children

      Delete
    6. Who's this idiot using my ID?

      Delete
    7. So because I've not been regular today, one idiot is using my ID and saying "ID acting up". Oga/madam, my ID is intact.

      ...... because my profile is now private and you can't clone, you're forming ID acting up? Continue, you will be alright.

      Delete
    8. Lol,from all the comments here no one is giving her advice if she should go to welfare or not,my dear going to welfare might be complicated unless you. Have decided to end it all, so he will be meant to pay you child support only,but if not look for one he respects even if it his oga at the office and complain to him to talk to him,yes my hubby's staff wife's do come to him to complain about their hubby and he helps sought their issues

      Delete
    9. Useless irritant , intellectually derange old cargo. Dishing out foolish advice , poverty stricken imbecile.

      Delete
    10. Queen na lie! Its even more common with your Igbo brothers.

      Delete
    11. The moment I saw that comment,I knew it was cloned Id..
      Joblessness!!

      Delete
    12. Queen you & I knw that igbo men mostly behave irrational when their wives bore them female children, followed by Hausas, yourba men prefer female children self.

      Delete
  5. Supposing you are financially okay,I would have advice you to be ignoring that kind of a man,then be sorting urself out or go look for a place of ur own and live happily, life is too sweet to be enduring such.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Haii..
    Some people tend to forget that its not the woman's fault for birthing a female child..
    Its the man gives out Y-Chromosome to meet with the X-Chromosome of the woman..
    Well what a shame.
    Madam please if you have the strength to, goan rent a house have the life you wish to have.
    The family member won't do anything, I can bet that.
    Just pack out.

    If your girls attend expensive schools, withdraw them.
    Don't live above your means.
    Pray and believe that God will see you through.
    Only you can give yourself the HAPPINESS YOU DESERVE.
    💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please don't pack out if domestic violence is not involved, keep praying to God and focus on your children. All the best ma'am

      Delete
  7. Very simple.
    Give a brother some slack, he's tired of the marriage. Shit happens but life goes on.
    Divorce him and let peace reign please before we all start hearing stories that touch from tales by moonlight, afteral he's a brokeass!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Madam it's what he gives u that u produce.

    Just try as much as possible to relax urself.

    Quit reporting to family members hence prior reports didn't yield anything good.

    Ignore him. If not for ur meager salary,i would hv adviced u give him space. But since u can't obviously take care of all the needs, relax and do things that will make urself happy.

    Instead of sitting idle during ur free time,engage ur kids in activities u all would enjoy doing.

    Read books(religious,n motivational)

    Do not engage in physical combat whatsoever.....

    But when u see he is in a good mode,stull sometimes talk to him n see how things goes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I concur with this advice. Please ignore, ignore, ignore the yeye man!! That thing can pain ehn. Try see if you can augment your salary with some other profitable business. If you have to 'add' to
      the school fees you get from him in order to get extra money for yourself, by all means go ahead n then start saving that just in case he eventually pulls the stunt of bringing a male child home from elsewhere. Nothing pass men like that. Should you choose to go the ministry of women affairs way, be prepared for the consequence which could lead to the end of marriage. Goodluck to you, and may God send help your way.

      Delete
  9. Kai,so sorry madam,it's really so sad seeing that some things that happened to the generation of our mothers is still going on right,don't know what to advice Jare except to PRAY and you will RECiEVE!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Lol, funny man.
    A woman has xx chromosomes and a man has xy, your husband has been giving you just the x chromosomes and he puts the blame on you, Wawuu!.
    On a serious serious note, I pray God gives you the grace and strength to carry on, and that he gives your hubby understanding, Amen!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some men don't understand this, even some educated men who have been taught the science, they choose to believe tradition. It baffles me honestly. They lay the blame solely at the feet of the woman.

      Delete
  11. Don't ever regret having a boy child!...
    It's daughters that makes things happen these days!...
    Check out Linda Ikeji and other women taking care of their parents...
    I have three boys and I'm not bothered about a girl!...
    When they get married,I will have three daughters...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awwww Queen is that you?

      Delete
  12. Madam, Your only option is to resort to praying to God whom you told us you serve.
    That is actually the God that ought to have given you the go ahead to marry not the "save face Pentecostal arranger" that you were "fearing" in the build up to this marriage. Make sure your daughters do not make this same mistake; and not even you should interfere in their choice of a spouse. You have all the chance now to inculcate the right character and values in them.

    As you pray for your husband with fasting, remember that with good characters, a man can be worn over. His attitude presently is to frustrate you out of the house. Perseverance is the fruit of the Spirit needed here. The choice is yours.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are just a monumental idiot for this comment. A man won over??? For what reason should she fast and persevere???? That she didn't bear a son by no fault of hers??? That she picks up the bills in the house???? Infact you need Jesus cos obviously you don't know him

      Delete
    2. After ranting, no opinion; are you daft?

      Delete
  13. Useless men everywhere you turn, God forbid! Abeg Miss Truth, come introduce me to one of your brother in-laws, I'm tied of "our" men 😁😆😄😂😋. Between he lied about his genotype & phenotype! Thank God he didn't lie about his HIV status. Keep praying & fasting, God is the only one who can restore your marriage, & you said you even noticed some bad attitudes which you foolishly ignored... But divorce is NOT the answer!


    ... Jesus is my worth!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. what is between? please it's by the way. if you are copying people to be cool, do it the right way. does between sound like good in your comment?

      Delete
  14. hahahahaha the Queen, abi na our bros dey behave like this.

    Madam break his head with N100 coconut

    ReplyDelete
  15. God help us o. U may think that ur situation is bad, but when u see another persons own ehn, u will jump up in praise mehn... Poster, it is well. I'm not in support of abuse esp in marriage. But with a salary of <N30,000, what can u do?
    Go to the previous post on business ideas, pick one that doesn't require so much capital, "starve" yourself for a bit so that u can get enough money to start up.
    God be with you dear.

    ReplyDelete
  16. A doctor needs to explain to your hubby that he is the sex determinant not you...I didn't know some men still reason this way in this 21st century.

    Meanwhile who says a male child is "Superior" or "better" or whatever reason they come up with. Train your Children well and they will become arrows in your hands.It didn't say male child or female child.

    Children are Blessings for Gods sake and they become what we make them.Instead of him to be planning their future he is there fighting you.

    My dear please be happy, you owe yourself that much.It takes two people who really want to be together to make a relationship work.

    You alone can't do this, why waiting for him to come around invite God into the situation.Don't let the devil win, pray till his heart turns back to you.

    I don't know what else to say, ] pray this turns around for good.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hmmmm 30k sha for how many kids? Yes oh, report him to ministry of women affairs. Na real wa!! I think you need money to start a small business and supplement your income. Civil service job might not pay much now but it usually does in the long run. You need to supplement your income to help you fend for your kids. Stop relying on your salary cos if you have more income you would be less frustrated. Start a small biz even if you borrow to start. Might be cooking food or petty trading. It's better to borrow and invest no matter how small the returns are than to keep borrowing to spend on daily bills. That's why you're getting overwhelmed. But report to the ministry first and see what happens. And as for that joke of a husband ehn..... *hiss* keep us posted if there's need for collective support.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I seriously need other side hustles..I'm to resume a teaching work next term, but I desperately need another source of income as my salary is nothing to write home about. I need suggestions of what(something that requires small capital) I can do along side my teaching job..

      Delete
  18. ARE THE GIRLS LEARNING?

    When people/pastors start arranging for you to marry him; know your priorities.
    Though the lady told us that they were "match-made", she courted him, so every responsibility for marrying this man falls squarely on your shoulders madam.

    Seek God in fasting and prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Pliss stare strung, as God wheel fihgt yhua battu.
    The birdbug told his shilren north to trobu demsefs, dat woht is hot wheel be coal. So my Sista, eye arm tailing yhu; Pliss dun looze ope, efritin wheel be olrice.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Why do pentecostal pastors derive pleasure in "match-making" their members to marry; to populate the church/preserve membership?
    Because of the God I sought/seek, I was enabled to dodge that bullet

    ReplyDelete
  21. Is he accusing you of manipulating with the test results to hook him?
    Is he trying to have a male child knowing the child can be another sickler?

    Your husband feels incomplete without a male child to carry his name, typical african mentality, if he loved those girls, he'd never think of throwing you out. When peeps recite "I need a God fearing man.. "Hes prayerful & churchy".. i just SMH, cus he can spend 40days & 40nights in church, even dine with top pastors, but yet his personality & morals trumps his religious ethics.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Atheist I concur! Uv just hit d nail on d head! Enough said! Uv said it all! Babes shine ya eyes b4 geting married to dat so called Godfearing church man! Ehen!no be by church o!

      Delete
  22. This is a lesson to girls.when they introduce you to a man,stop lookin at d person that did the intro before makin the decision to date, marry or not.dem dey look face these days afterall na you wear shoe!

    ReplyDelete
  23. hahahahahaha Ola, abeg i dont want to laugh. Na really anufia

    ReplyDelete
  24. let me go anon on this..
    dear poster, what you're going thru is far less than what my mum went thru wt my dad. mum has us 3gals, dad's family wanted her out or she dies, she was afflicted wt various things till she left when were kids & now has a boy for another man. dad's life? never been stable, many women keep leaving after chopping his mony. nobody can live wt him. he's numerous baby mamas also bore girls. he's always miserable. I managed to live wt him now I'm armed wt a degree and a job. planning to get married soon & break free.
    my dear, your peace of mind is Paramount. since you're not happy, find happiness elsewhere & be there for your kids. the girl child is a jewel. God is still on the throne.



    #sayNOtodiscrimination

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear, my dad married another woman becasue my mom had daughters. The year he married her, his finances started dwindling. Someone that used to give up to 1mil as tithe started borrowing 200k till he started borrowing 2k to fuel his car. Hmm. Life na wa. My mum is doing well in her business.

      Delete
  25. is your husband educated? bcoz i had already typed "your husband is an illiterate" before hitting the delete button.
    hmmmm he needs his ass to be whooped to order. imagine a grownup ass man behaving like a Fulani illiterate?

    let his go and fuck or marry another woman na? is it your fault that he amu lacks the right chromosomes for a male child? let him go to hell jare. Lord knows is not your fault. dont kill yoursef bcoz of one mumu man oooh. allow him do what he feels like doing. stop complaining too much and let him have his way. God surely knows how to disgrace such people. the Lord will provide a means for you to take care of your kids. it is well.






    *hangs leg on the wall*

    ReplyDelete
  26. Star saving to move out. Even if na one room with your kids. The guy is nit useful to you in anyway, neither dies he appreciate you si why continue living in bondage? Meanwhile make yourself happy and ignore him as much as possible

    ReplyDelete
  27. The world has gone past when so much preference was given to male kids。your hubby needs to get that memo。these days,whatever a man can do,a woman can do a lot more

    ReplyDelete
  28. Poster,we both have similar issue the different is just that my mum gave birth to two girls,when I was about ten years my dad started acting up yelling at my mum,he doesnt eat at home,keep late night,then dv started when the problem was too much my mum decided to take us to her mother's house not caring about what people will say and she single handedly rised us now she is proud of us.Assuming you are financially okay I would have advice you to leave him and take your kids along with you,take care of them,love them and you will have peace of mind,no dick is worth all this stress you are going through ooo.

    ReplyDelete
  29. My dear your life doesn't depend on him, I will advice you to start a business that will give u money, you could learn sewing, poultry or baking...help yourself to earn more money that will be enough for you and your kids...then you can leave the house for him, he is like that because he believes you don't have money and can't do anything..

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hhhhhmm, only Jesus can fix this

    ReplyDelete
  31. My dear your life doesn't depend on him, I will advice you to start a business that will give u money, you could learn sewing, poultry or baking...help yourself to earn more money that will be enough for you and your kids...then you can leave the house for him, he is like that because he believes you don't have money and can't do anything..

    ReplyDelete
  32. Your husband is 53 meaning he married you at age 41.
    Most men that marry late like that are usually hard to live with. That is why they are still single till 41.
    Most are very set in their ways, they have been living a bachelor life for so long and some are not used to living with ppl again.
    I dated one like that. Very rich but difficult to live with. Always requesting for respect and saying their last born is older than me so i have to show respect.
    i cant ever date an over 40 man again. they are also very desperate for marriage because of that age my ex wanted us to get married within 3months of meeting. I told him i need minimum of 1yr to study him. Im in my 20s and its important i date for a year to know your character.

    ReplyDelete
  33. My husband called me in january after returning from xams and told me that i don't have children for him. This is because i have four girls for him. My marriage is a living hell. He dom't even bring money to feed his children. He said i should go and look for money to train my children that he is not interested. We are living in the house but we just housemate.let me comme and be going. Alot has has happened to me in my marriage because i have only girls.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ehn!!! What will I not read ehhh. So the ones you bore him are animals??Wonders.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous it is well with you and poster

      Delete
  34. Dear Woman , I Will not advise you to leave him, you have kids that need you both.

    Pray without ceasing , God changes everything.
    If you still want another child and you want a mail child , try and meet your husband on your 'OVULATION DAY' Don't miss it. Now the question is how do you know your ovulation day? for most women it is the 14th day of their cycle starting from the first day of their menses.

    Lets say your menses starts on the 10th , then your ovulation should be on the 23rd or 24th or even 22nd, then you can have a boy child. " Pre- selection of sex" but if your monthly circle is way less than 28 days, then let an expert determine your ovulation day for you or call me.

    NOTE: a woman is fertile 4 -7 days before ovulation and a female sperm got a longer life span. If you meet your husband days before ovulation, the male sperms would have died before ovulation day leaving only the female to fertilize the egg. But if you meet your husband on your ovulation day ' gan gan' you will have a male child because the male sperms swim faster and can fertilize the egg and shut the door "lol" before the female arrives the door..

    bye...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please don't bring this ovulation talk rara. These couple are both AS! They are lucky they have only 1 child with the SS genotype. What if she takes in and gives birth to another SS child, who go dey take care of that one too? Abi is it husband that is struggling to drop money at home that will take up the responsibility of 2 SS children? Wisdom is profitable to direct

      Delete
  35. I will not say you should leave your marriage. Just ensure nothing results in him beating you up. With God all things are possible. Stop complaining and start praying God will change the situation in your marriage soon.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Poster,it is indeed a sad situation, but there is little or nothing you can do with an income of 30k if you don't have a solid family support system from your parents and in-laws.

    12 years of marriage is no beans!So,my advice is for you to stay put in that marriage and don't report to any ministry because he will react angrily at you and push you out of the house with that excuse!Those family and church members will turn their backs on you! No be today o!

    He does not answer your greetings? No problem,stop greeting him! He nags?No problem,stay out of his way and try not to reply,give him the silent treatment.

    Your children give you joy? Awesome! See him as a flatmate.Entertain yourself, the comments in this blog alone can make you laugh so much.Most importantly,find areas you can cut down your expenses,so you don't continue to borrow always.
    If he gets tired of it, let him use his own hands to bring the divorce paper,so that,tomorrow, he won't say,you were the one that moved out. Men are fond of saying That!'I did not send her packing o,na she just vex comot!' DON'T give him that satisfaction!

    The Lord will continue to be your strength. Best of luck.

    ReplyDelete
  37. People are out there looking for just one child, just one whether boy or girl yet someone has three beautiful daughters and he is complaining. You never know what you have until you loose it. Madam just ignore him, I think you should learn a skill that will be lucrative for you, don't worry everything will end well and your daughters will make you so proud.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Children are great gift from God, alot of family are looking for anyone, be it boy or girl, I know of a family that the woman has three boys and yet her husband is still messing up. I know is not easy but try to move ahead with life and concentrate on your kids, try to look for a better paying job or start any good business to support your self. When a man has another woman outside his hone, he start looking for issues where there is non.

    ReplyDelete
  39. This is a question for those who go for marriage counselling in Church; are the couples not told about this male and female children thing? I would think it is something that should come up during the counselling sessions. From the lady's Chronicle, one of the two of them lied about their genotype, if not how come they have a Sickle cell child? Hmmm, it is obvious there was no truth at the start of the marriage. A marriage with falsehoods will always come under serious attack because the falsehood is a weak link to that will most likely trigger such attack.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I really sympathize with you.but women,dont ignore any uncomfortable signs during courtship thinking it will change after marriage. it doesn't rather it gets worst.he married you outta desperation, you married him outta church eye service. maybe you're from one of this churches where they're encouraged to marry one another.just continue ignoring him as long as violence is not involved while you look for a way to better your finance.30k for 3 kids is a tough battle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hian! You want them to be gwegs and budding gwegs? Mbanu! Just get on with it and send chronicles later. That's a better strategy

      Delete
    2. hehehehehe,chi the original fire for fire,your sarcasm is on another level.srategy that the end result will turn them to tokunbo gwegs with baggages. I don't know when women will learn

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  41. one of the major genesis of this chronicle is the I must marry from my church syndrome. I've always said that people have missed their God given spouse because of tribe and religious differences.you gave up your happiness because of church and church member.the church I attended before marriage is a very strict one that if you don't marry from the church you will be punished and not even your parents are allowed to attend you wedding. they arrange tire for husband for me in the church I bluntly refused.i jejely married someone I love outside the church and took the punishment. it's been 8 years and counting. Stella maybe you shoul do a post on church sentiment concerning marriage

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  42. Poster, I think you should sit him down , ask him if he still wants the marriage and what you did to warrant such treatment from him, all this is so that you can have a free mind and for him to continue paying your children's fees. Whatever response he gives , act as fast as you can on it. Even if he says he still wqnt the marriage without changing his attitude, leave his sorry ass. You shouldn't punish yourself anymore. Try to look for other things to get yourself into cos believe me , thirty thousand a month would continue making you a slave to him . At the end of it all, you have to be super strong cos of what friends and family will say, remember, they are not wearing the shoes with you to know where it hurts and you have your life to live. Life has no sequel so live it to the fullest

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  43. Stella, some men are just ignoramus. Maybe it's that they didn't stay in their biology class to get educate that its the man that has the X n Y sex and determines the sex of the child.
    Poster......it's a pity. I understand your situation and all you're going through. I will give you the advice I gave one of my friends that was in the same situation.she did IVF and told the doctor what she wanted and she has a male child now. If your husband is ready to foot the bill, go for IVF. Just tell them that you want a male foetus and with God on your side it will be successful. Stay blessed sister

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  44. Dear Madam,your husband,s desire for a male child won't stop. Focus on your children. Some of our mothers and grandmothers stayed in their marriages because of we their children. Provided there is no violence, stay calm,let him know he is free to bring in that woman that will born"Ahamefula" for him. Focus on ways to achieve financial independence. Don't be surprise that even if he gets a new wife, he will bear twin girls. I have seen it happen. Raise your daughters well and pray to God to bless them early in life. When your husband is old and in need of companionship, you will be touring the globe to do "omugwo"for your girls.Just relax,work harder, earn more and trust God,you will have the last laugh over this situation. Don't bother reporting to the ministry of women affairs.

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  45. your husband has a very evil side chic somewhere

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  46. You have three choices if you ask me
    1 stay and be miserable
    2 give him a male child (am sure that's the reason for his altitude)
    3 leave and have peace of mind ( wouldn't strongly advice that since your income is not healthy).
    Sorry, the man you married is centuries behind

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  47. Hmmmmmm Okooooo

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