Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Couch Session Alert

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Saturday, 27 May 2017

Couch Session Alert

At what point does a gift become a curse?...What you are about to read?I totally disagree with anyone who has this Mindset!...haba!








80 comments:

Monkeynofine said...

No ideal, my dad didn't buy houses for his children 😂😂😂😂....... the answer is right up there! If the husband agree to it, no bigi. ...

Pure Nigerian said...

Well everyone's mindset is different, the fact that I see nothing wrong with it doesn't mean I should rain on the parade of those who do. We are shaped by our backgrounds, experiences and circumstances (good or bad). Even though divorce is going the extreme, I believe in communication, sometimes my gem literally rolls his eyes, when I want to talk something out but me I no send. If I don't talk, I write but you cannot write in all situations. It is via communications that you are able to understand the mindset of the person you intend getting hitched to, which will then help you avoid taking and making certain actions and/or decisions.

CHI EXOTIC said...

Sorry SDK, but I've this mindset

Ones a woman is married, her father has no control over her
If a father wants to give his married daughter a gift I think out of courtesy and respect he should tell her husband.
A car and house gift is just too much for her husband not to be in the know.

That's my opinion though.

Blackberry said...

So I can't gift my married daughter a car or house without her husband's permission? How do u agree to a gift? A gift is a surprise.

Pls gimme my daughter back n gerrout.
Unless she doesn't want it.

Hephzibah said...

Just got my ID.😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
😁😁😁

Bootylycious diva said...

sure is disrespectful if the husband does not approve ,but husband should know he was marrying a rich man's daughter and it comes with a lot of things ,if he was wealthy and a gift comes from the woman's side it won't be anything to him ,I still believe in the saying that says cut your coat according to your size ,leave the rich to marry themselves they know how to run their show

Anonymous said...

This is what happens when couples have separate finances.
How can you claim you love someone enough to marry the person whereas you cannot trust each other with your "pockets?"
You trust him enough to allow him have sex with you even if he/she had sex with a HIV positive lady the previous night but you don't trust him/her enough to know how much you earn and have a common finance/accounts/investments; is that marriage? How has the two become one?

The wife of a very rich business tycoon in the city where I worked could not pay up the hospital bill to clear the corpse of her husband who died from auto crash. She and her kids became beggars afterwards. She did not have access to a penny the man had. And they were having sex and producing children. Shame on all who run these kinds of marriages.

The reason is that people have styles of sex during courtships instead of frank discussions of how their life should run.

Anonymous said...

Lol. Looks like what my husband will do. These men and their way of reasoning baffles me.

Anonymous said...

Pls there must be a background to the story. Perhaps the wifey played the rich man pikin card too many times, otherwise no reason why the Husband would not want the gift. They don't have to live in the house they can still get their apartment and let it out

Anonymous said...

The dog said that those who have buttocks do not know how to sit down.
The cause is that there are no more discussions during dating, only sex.

BLUNT said...

What makes it disrespectful Mr Okafor the proud, flat-headed Igbo man? Na you I dey give the car? Na my daughter. Your consent shouldn't suffice here. Ga cho nkegi.

my opinion said...

Stella, there are gifts that ruin your happiness!

Yes it is your father, but the question is "what is his motive"?

If that gift was meant to silence* your husband and rob him of his ego as a man or turn him to your family's puppet; please reject it!

But if it is just a gift out of love to make you and hubby a little bit more comfortable (not everyday "are we not living in my daddy's house?); then accept!

Last last, you and hubby ought to agree before any acceptance of such gift!

Heartbreaker loves TGW said...

Hahaha,

Honestly, I don't think it's a big deal. To think the gift is coming from her parent, not some ex boyfriend or extended family.


Divorce is taking it too far , so many people with short fuse .

Lagos Babe Elegance said...

There are some gifts that needs permission from the husband,a car and house as wedding gift is too ambiguous if the husband isn't aware,haba!

Lagos Babe Elegance said...

A very good w@y of reasoning!

Priceless Jewel said...

You're welcome!


... Jesus is my worth!

Priceless Jewel said...

There's nothing wrong with it now! Which kin spouse be that self! Abegi! How can my DH reject gift(s) given to me by my parents, all because they didn't ask permission from him! Marriage should be an addition to my family & not division! He got permission from them to marry me & not to separate me from them. Everyone has his/her place & part to play & not "OVERSABISM" Getting married should not be loss of oneself or one's identity. It's pride & ego that makes men behave like that! Mostly common in (poor) men! If it's me, I will neither return the gifts nor divorce him for that, we'll SRT it out amicably.
*my opinion

... Jesus is my worth!


... Jesus is my worth!

Priceless Jewel said...

You're welcome!


... Jesus is my worth!

Madam Small Chops said...

What kind of a man disapproves of GIFT from his father-in-law...I don't get it!


Are the husband and wife not one? Even though the gift is in one persons name but both will benefit from it na.

Can't wrap my head around this, what kind of permission pls.

Ok father-in-law be like "i want to get a car/house for my daughter" and hubby goes:"let me think about it" or "no she doesn't need it" or "no she doesn't deserve it" or "yes sir, go ahead"

I don't understand what kind of approval does the father-in-law need? This post just
annoyed me.

Bootylycious diva said...

how can you see a woman living in mansion driving good cars and want to wife her when you know you arent up to the task is that not wickedness

Priceless Jewel said...

You've said it all!


... Jesus is my worth!

Anonymous said...

But this happens a lot in the north and it is no big deal. It is a way of showing how much they cherish their daughter so that the grooms family do not look down on her. Cars and houses are given when the parents can afford them. But what is mandatory are furnitures, electronics and kitchen utensils and gadgets. Depending on the financial capability. But this is common here in the north.

Bunmi Kenny said...

Honestly,ders no big deal in dis. Why shld her father inform d man dat he wants to gift his daughter d gifts?! Haba nah!
It does not mean dat they MUST live in d house gifted to d girl nor it will stop d husband from buying her another car! There are other ways des can be managed.

Ders a family friend i kn very well dat gave his daughter a jeep as wedding gift. D girl and her hubby are in Lagos,the girl's father is in Kaduna. He sent sm1 to drive the car to lagos to deliver it to girl and her hubby is cool abt it. Though they were both unaware.
To me o,no wahala o.

Kperesbaby said...

My dear to each his own...

My husband and I like to splurge on different things.
He likes to hangout with the guys so when I see his club bills I don't have HBP

And I love to collect bags and d last items I bought caused fracas

As we both work for our moneys nobody shld dictate to another how much to spend, provided your kids trust fund is in place I cannot share account with anybody biko

SUNSHINE said...

Thank you BB.
I asked my dad the question and he responded with that.
For God's sake, it's no big deal. Except the guy us a failure, I don't see why he would end the marriage over gifts.
I am the only girl and the last child, God help me if my dad doesn't insist on living under my matrimonial bed permanently 😂😂. He loves me that much.
Her father might have meant no harm.

Anonymous said...

This is what happens when a woman marries a man with a big complex and trust me there are many of them out there. My father will always be bigger than my husband in my eyes. He brought me to the world and has "UNCONDITIONAL" love for me. Husbands can come and go. Fathers are the same yesterday,today and forever. So Daddy, i will accept your gift over and over again and you don't need my husband's permission to give me anything good.

Lagos Babe Elegance said...

Since he knows the husband is not man enough ,why did he approves of the marriage,he should have gifted her while she was still single!,in doing that,the husband would have met her as a house owner and descideif he can deal!

Sassy Meruche said...

Hmm,Chi I used to have this Stella's mindset of,but after several arguments and discussions with friends and colleagues about this topic,I've come to realise that the husband actually has to agree to it,or his consent should be sought before such gift is given.
Anyway,we concluded that as long as the gift is for the couple,and not solely for the girl,then it's fine.

Sweet Child said...

Nothing is wrong here, the father in law doesnt need permission to give her daughter gifts please

Anonymous said...

Well, the guy did give him his daughter back. Lol.

Lagos Babe Elegance said...

Since he knows the husband is not man enough ,why did he approves of the marriage,he should have gifted her while she was still single!,in doing that,the husband would have met her as a house owner and descideif he can deal!

Anonymous said...

Les divorce lol

Blackberry said...

Permission say the husband is the air she breathes or na becos of him I born her?...hahahaa pls gimme my daughter mbok!

Blackberry said...

Thank you blunt.

Blackberry said...

I tire o, did I beg him to marry my dota? I wanna gift my baby stuff n you say I should ask for permission, am I your mate?

Pls gimme back my daughter....hehehehehe

Fity said...

I really don't see anything wrong in it,except there is an ulterior motive,odawise do you take permission before buying someone a gift?

Cynthia Iyede said...

Which man will even refuse such gifts? Most guys of today are even looking for such opportunities.

Anonymous said...

Stella pls post this comment I beg u, there was dis chick I was tripping for( no homons o) she was a g/f to a friend, d way she carried herself and all until I sat next to her and found out she is a SNUB! OK I waka pass, she and her gf had a misunderstanding, so did I with d same gf and she attached to another gf of d our common gf... The 1st gf we had in common was over protective of her friends, always speaks good about them, now I got to learn from dis new one ,that babe is from Owerri, was married in her 20's including 2 of her pretty sis... Guess what? Each time dey r married out, Daddy's girls always gets outrageous gifts ( heard daddy used to have one of d biggest filling stations back in d days in Owerri) my friend said , if d husbands have misunderstanding with dis babes,daddy will organise tugs to straighten them up. Shuooo I said , u don't mean it! Today babe is chasing 40 no bf! Hopping from church to Church in search of hussy, I heard she don finally get a 32 yr old boy who she paid rent for and she is planning to marry! Y allow ur father destroy ur further???? U no get sense??!

Fity said...

Disrespectful how?wen buying a gift for someone do u take permission? U just buy it,if the person accepts fine,if not u take it back shikena

Anonymous said...

Dakun what is this one blabbing about? Are you sure you read the post before you churned out this epistle. Sex has scrambled your brain, where in the post did you see anything about sex. Priceless Jewel see where your follow follow has landed you. Mtscheew

Dainty T said...

Are gifts not supposed to be surprises most time? How then is it a surprise if permission has to be taken first?
Secondly, is the gift not going to be for both of us? So kini big deal? Me I too collect am!!

Sharon Aminu said...

He is my father for Christ sake.....not some random guy..haha
Abeg,u can't tell me not to receive gifts from my daddy..
If u can't deal with it,leave pls
This one can say I should stop greeting my father because he has married me..hiss

Dainty T said...

Oshe o priceless jewel. Serious insecurity on the husband's part.

Dainty T said...

First paragraph,, thank you!!

Sharon Aminu said...

If the lady is not some spoiled brat...
She will respect her husband not bcu of the gift,were there is no negative motive about e gift..there nothing wrong with giving ur married child agift

Taiwo Awolesi said...

I see nothing wrong wt fathers gifting their daughters exoctic cars. I wish my dad could even afford a Pijo (Peujot) for me. Chai! God punish poverty

Amacastel said...

God bless you jewel

St.FranKooL.... said...

#Anything's possible if you've got enough nerve*

Amacastel said...

Lagos babe so you knw as a woman that house & car is the only share the lady gets as the man's daughter cos when the man died his male children will claim everything without giving the girls pin, so you don't want the lady to get any share in her father's property cos she married a low mentality man mbok.

AbaMade said...

Only a man with complex issues and an oversized ego will do that

Miss Ess said...

Well.....

Anonymous said...

Well said!!!

Anonymous said...

Correct!!

Priceless Jewel said...

@ "anonymouse" 14:12, tankio!


... Jesus is my worth!

CHI EXOTIC said...

Fity,this is not just someone but her husband
Imagine if the said man is jobless? His ego would be bruised and battered
Little cash gifts and gadgets are okay, but something as huge as a house or car should have the husbands consent.

A house that the couple might decide to move into and you say the husband should not be told prior?
I still stand my ground that the husband should be respected enough to know before hand.

grace said...

I don't need any approval from any husband to collect gifts from my father it is my inheritance pleas,the bible says so

Sweet Mother said...

Very common in the north. I agree.

Sweet Mother said...

Peugeot.

Anonymous said...

Kpangolo at least I can read. This is why you're yet to pass Jamb. Instead of you to calm down,you're throwing sub. Olodo rabata. Oya take this L.

Anonymous said...

Anon 14:10- stop poking your 👃 where it does noy concern you. Mind your damn business.

Uriel (Freshdew) said...

True👍

Amos Ijeoma said...

Nonsense! I will take the gift,divorce the morafvka n get another man to accept me n my gift...things hard ooo

AppleofGodseyeoriginal said...

Let's also remember without the Father,their is no wife for him,no,dad don't need Hubby's permission, he is d one who needs permission to do anything not my dad.

Chidinma Grace said...

The man must be an Igbo man. Low mentality. Except if the girl in question is rubbing the gifts in the man's face, I don't see anything wrong with it.

Fab Mum said...

A car gift doesn't need permission. You can give your daughter cars and all other type of gifts

But house?? You need to ask the husband first please. To be sure he is comfortable with it. He is expected to live in the house, isn't he? The car, at least it can be said only the lady drove it. But a house?? The man will live in it. Ask the man's permission please. Not tomorrow, you will want to come and play God in his life because you gave them the house.
Or tomorrow, when the lady and her husband are having issues, she will throw words like "after all my dad bought this house"

Or tomorrow the father in law will want to come and do anyhow because he gave them the house

Please be sure the man is comfortable with and wants that.

But for car, no need

PL THE GREAT said...

Anon 13.51,I'm forced to comment after seeing your comment. I'm sending you a bouquet of roses wherever you are boo. Most people blabbing here obviously don't have rich fathers. I'm not downgrading anyone. I'm being blunt here. So after all my dad has achieved in life, he has to take permission from my husband to give me a gift? Really?! Onto day na my husband born me, train for school abi wetin? That is a slight on my dad! Well, I don't know about any other person, but my parents are sacred to me. If you marry a man who's on the same same level with you or even higher, the gifts will be a thing of joy. Like someone said up there, a way of elevating the woman in the eyes of her hubby. Only poor men have this mentality being displayed in that tweet.



Mental poverty is the worst form of poverty a human being can have.

Anonymous said...

Ano 14:10 you sound stupid.

Ronalda. said...

Unless the father is some sort of "trust fund baby" or is from a wealthy home, I doubt he was able to provide his own wife with such extravagant gifts on the day they got married. I'm not talking about marrying her into his own mansion. I'm referring to gifting her a 5 bedroom house of her own, with a luxurious SUV in addition to moving her into his mansion. He can afford to do this for his daughter now because he is well established. Life comes in stages. It's wrong to intimidate his son-in-law with such extravagance when, obviously, the son-in-law isn't that buoyant but may be financially stable. Just because he can't afford a 5 bedroom apartment today doesn't make him less of a man. He may be able to build a mansion in a couple of years, with love and support from his new bride.

His daughter knew the financial strength of the guy she married before she agreed to be his wife, no? You don't marry a MAN only to allow your father upgrade you while you're supposed to be in your hubby's house. I used capital letters for emphasis because no real man who knows his onion and how to dice it, will sit back and watch his father-in-law take charge of his home financially. It's different if her dad gifted her only the car as her wedding present but a house??? How emasculating! The inference is that he doesn't trust his son-in-law to provide an "appropriate" shelter for his daughter.

I remember the day I got married, my dad bawled his eyes out! He even cried more than my mum and I put together. I didn't understand why until much later. Being the only girl and  "daddy's little princess" even at 24, he felt no man was good enough for me but he knew my wedding day was the day he had to relinquish almost every right he had over me, to my hubby and he said it felt like an amputation. Lol! Though I was marrying into wealth as well, dear ol' dad felt only he could provide what I truly deserve. My dad has always paid monthly allowance into my account since my 18th birthday, he didn't stop when I got married but he had to take permission from my hubby who agreed but made sure he gives me double the amount my dad pays in, sometimes he triples the amount.

The "tussle" between a husband and a father who will forever see his daughter as "daddy's little girl" must maintain a delicate balance because it can cause the breakdown of the marriage. Two men with the same alpha male personality, differently but equally in love with the same lady. A father's love and a lover's love, both quite intense but eventually, the father must learn to allow the husband's love for his daughter take precedence.‎ The father has his own wife to shower affection on as well. At least he should, even if he is a widower, he should go find himself a love interest to distract him and allow the young couple built on their own, unless both approach him for financial assistance.

Ronalda. said...

*build*

Anonymous said...

Oh please, I don't need any permission whatsoeVer to receive a gift from my father. Period!

Anonymous said...

Divorce keh because of car gift and house?

I think there is more to the story. Check the history. Could it be the family of the wife are overbearing and rubbed it on the grooms face that he is not capable of taking care of their daughter? There is a back story to this.

Men have egos and men with lack mentality have bigger egos. Everything is like a slap on their face. You have to thread carefully with them.

Next time dear wives, if your daddy gift you stuff, keep it to yourself but if the man finds out, he will still get angry and be like... If you can hide this, who knows what else you are hiding.

Damn if you do, damn if you don't.

KING XOXOMYSTERY

Anonymous said...

The relationship between the parent of the lady and the husband matters alot and if the relationship is a good one he will not see anything wrong in the father in law giving his daughter gifts

Chiamaka Ezeani said...

In marriage two became one so therefore I don't believe in either a husband or wife buying a luxury good or making an investment without the others consent and also in each most leave there parents and cling to each other as one first and foremost the father should have presented it to them as a couple not just to his daughter I personally will feel awkward if my father does such thing especially in public if he does it in private I don't think the woman should just collect the car immediately and take it home I for one wouldn't like it if the case was revised (or else it's a surprise gift from my husband)in the end everything depends on our own understanding and respect for each other

Push up said...

Thank you, I don't know who all these over egoistic assholes are, what do you mean by I have to call you first, when I give my daughter, she should tell you and then you both should call and thank me, are her parents not way older than her hubby, Walahi he doesn't have respect. My daughter cannot even end up with such men Haba, a gift o, pls can he check the meaning of a gift

White Diamond said...

Well to me i will accept any gift frm my daddy any day any time

Justyswt said...

I agree with u chi exotic. A car and house is too huge a gift for d husband not to be in the know before gifting.

When I got married, my late elder bro gifted me car, but I sort the consent of my hubby before accepting. Some families gift such just to bruise the ego of their daughter's husband.

yasmeen s said...

I will accept any gift from my dad oo.. in cash or valuables.. if you are too proud to enter the house.. no biggie.. I will put it out for rent n make my cash out of it.. afterall warris my business

Anonymous said...

@ 13.16, some of them are so intimidated by little things, you begin to wonder.

If I hear say I no collect the gifts from the man that brought me to the world. We do not have to live in the house if he is not comfortable with it, we can rent it out or lease it. I won't sell the car though, we can use it together.

When push comes to shove, a husband can leave you but your family will not!!

Adisa Akomolede said...

Would there even be any argument it the case were to be reverse. No!.

Tilly said...

If he had given her a set of glass cups or tray, will he need hus permission? What if it's the guy's father guving him the car,would he need the wife's permission? A man that has ego problems should stick to marrying a girl not from a wealthier family. If he couldn't handle it, why go ahead. A lot of Nigerian men constantly need their ego to be massaged.
A man has a daughter that he nurtured from birth to adulthood and he cannot give her a car gift.
My colleague got a car gift for her wedding from her dad. And it was a surprise to both of them. They are still married after 5yrs. Biko there should be communication.

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