Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: The Diary Of A Nigerian wife

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Monday, 22 May 2017

The Diary Of A Nigerian wife

This Might be you!



PART 1..
The Diary and Struggles of a Nigerian wife. (Juxtaposition of Cognition) I.e I put myself in the mind and shoes of a Nigerian Wife; based on mails i receive from clients and direct observation) 

Hi, my name is Mrs X, i have been married to my husband for 9 years. I smile and glow in public but the emotional and mental baggage I carry weigh me down. I am expected by society and my family to be perfect to my husband despite the fact that he throws negativity at me very often. I am a Warrior who is not appreciated by her Kinsmen. 


This is my Diary. Read carefully: 


1⃣MY SEX LIFE IS DWINDLING :
 

1) After my 2nd child my husband complained that my vagina is not the same to him anymore. Is it a sin to have children? 

2) My husband now treats sex like a chore, no more efforts just BANG, BANG and he's DONE, there's no more foreplay. He treats Sex like something to tick off a calendar list. 

3) My husband recently started demanding somethings I'm not okay with, such as ( anal, masochism, threesomes, recorded sex seasons. I know he is being influenced by his friends or his Sidechicks or maybe mid-life crisis. 

Do I give in? or let him get it outside ? I really want to make him happy. I want to keep my home, do I throw away My values to make him happy? 


2⃣ I HAVE TO DEAL WITH SIDECHICKS
 

(Do I ignore? , attack my husband for his actions or find a sugar boy of my own? )
Of recent I have noticed some changes in my him
1) I discovered a new phone he has and I didn't know about
2) I once found a used condom in the car
3) My little cousins in Unilag and Babcock University keep asking if my husband is now running a Masters or Phd program because they see him so much on their campus.

4) My husband is a prowler on social media he is always sliding into DM and comments on so many ladies pictures. He is following 3000 girls

5)I finally got wind of his Sidechicks identity, she is the exact opposite of what I look like and what I am ( Bleached skin, long Brazilian hair, so many tattoos, her grammar is very poor from her captions on social media, I saw a couple of shoes and clothes my husband bought me on his last trip on her page.
DO YOU AGREE?




PART 2... 

3⃣ OUR VOWS :
At the beginning he promised me that it was for better for worse. I have taken him for who he is and I still love him no matter how he looks today.
1) My husband doesn't have 6 packs anymore, he now has a pot belly,
2) He is even getting bald
3) He tried to keep a beard but it didn't work
3) When we met he had the stamina for 4 rounds in a day but now he can't even last 10 mins in one round of sex.
All these mentioned but I still love him,
But he doesn't love me anymore or show it because
1) I have added weight
2) He expects me to look the way I looked on our wedding day
I have accepted the new him why can't he accept the new me?
 

4⃣ MY HEALTH AND SAFETY :

 I think my husband has Sidechicks and sleeps around ; do I ask him to wear a condom with me? When I told him to wear a condom he turned it into a big fight and refused to eat my food for a week. How do I handle the fact that my husband is not faithful yet I still have to allow him sleep with me without protection, risking all sorts of diseases. Is this love ? How do I handle this ? 


5⃣ FINANCES :

 Your money is my money but my money is my own money. My husband has a job and investments but he's always broke. I can't account for his expenses because of his new lavish lifestyle. He demands money from me as he pleases. I am the admin of the house. All the expenses to run the house are on me and he's never around to contribute. Do I wait for him to bring money before I run the house , risk sleeping in the dark with my children when nepa takes light or take responsibility into my own hands.
My account can't handle all these expenses alone.
DO YOU AGREE?




PART 3....


 6⃣ DOMESTIC VIOLENCE :

 While we were dating, I saw some signs that he was verbally abusive but I ignored because I love him. Of recent, any little thing I do my husband beats me up. When I hear him park his car, I feel so afraid and pretend like I'm sleeping. I agree with everything he says so he doesn't beat me up. The world thinks our marriage is perfect so it's very hard for me to break this perfect persona of our home. I don't want my children to grow up without a father. At least I'm married , a lot of my friends are not married. 

What do you think ? 


7⃣ FRESHLY MADE MEALS : 

My husband used to be an indomie guy who eats bread and anything he sees, he doesn't stress me for food at all. Ever since his mother came to spend Easter with us, she influenced him. He has been demanding freshly made meals. I have to be at my office / shop by 8am, also prepare the children for school but my husband insists I make him fresh food early. I wake up at 4.30 am to start my day everyday. When I get home, it's the same thing all over again. I spend all my time in the kitchen. My friends husbands stays with her in the kitchen but my husband watches premiere league while I cook. 


Despite all these and more from my Diary, I am not appreciated or treated the way I deserve from the I give my ALL and love of my life. Is making all these sacrifices worth it to keep my home ?

This article does not depict how all Nigerian marriages are, There are wives who have never experienced any of these. Based on the thousands of mails I've received on this subject I've observed and gathered that women who are unhappy in their marriages or in abusive marriages don't have the courage or means to pick themselves up and move on because of emotional attachments in children or love and most often Money or expertise sustain themselves.

 Some women fall so deeply in love that they forget to secure a plan B or a financial security for their future.
DO YOU AGREE?

Written by Joro Olumofin.


48 comments:

Miss Ess said...

I believe this what an average Nigerian wife goes through

Excellent Pat said...

He is so right about this one. Marriages these days dey tire me, the few ladies that married good, responsible men are lucky I tell Ya!

Is it better to go marry maybe an Anglican priest or a pastor? Just to have peace? Na wah

Monkeynofine said...

Hisssss

Sharon Aminu said...

Very interesting
Am starting my plan B from now on.

ThatYorubaChic#wifenotcook said...

JORO JORO JORO pls dont bother my head again

PLATINUM said...

Deep

Rocky said...

Women are becoming wise now, cheating is no longer exclusively a male's thing... Women these days are turning this 'chronicles' to their own advantage

I only eat freshly made meal but I've learnt to adapt.. Now I can eat warmed stew, soup so long as its hot. When I was younger, it was worse but thank God now

Bootylycious diva said...

see matter on top marriage

Rhoda Rex said...

Hmmmmmmmn

Anonymous said...

I'm in a similar situation but recently I made a decision to make myself happy by having a side boyfriend, my problem now is that I can't just stop.. The thrill of getting laid by someone new is just too sweet for me.. At the momentmy phone is always on the silent anytime my partner comes back from work.. Mum of two

Blackberry said...

Are Nigerian men this horrible to their wives? Hian...

GODIYA said...

 Some women fall so deeply in love that they forget to secure a plan B or a financial security for their future.

Joro, thanks for that statement. Even though I have peace, I will still work with that advise.

Roman God said...

I agree. Its sad really

Anonymous said...

To marry is not by force, why live for a man when its only one life u have? Something sweet pass man matter o, ask me? MONEY!

Stella Igbokei said...

Women are going through a lot in their marriages

La' Sunshine said...

Women are wising up now. I pity some women who build their life around a man.

La' Sunshine said...

Women are wising up now. I pity some women who build their life around a man.

Monkeynofine said...

There's still faithful couples out there.

Anonymous said...

I think naija women should wake up from their slumber & stop carrying husband on their head like gala seller. Whatever u do, always have a plan B, if u see ur husband straying, Comot eye from him & begin to live ur life, get a side nigga (if need be), go 2 d gym & start investing in yourself & kids, if he say ur tohtoh don slack, do kegels & get it back in shape,( that's why I always encourage ladies to go 4 big dicks, 2 avoid stories like this).
because as far as am concerned, Na open marriage your husband dey indirectly run, leaving you in the dark. No go kill yourself unto marriage matter oo. You only live once (YOLO)!!

Cynthia Iyede said...

hnmmmm

Monkeynofine said...

I tire oòoo

Fan Emmanuel said...

God forbid!! All this in 1marriage? Writer I'm surprised you're not dead by now.

Aeegurl loves Chikito( For your Shea butter in Abuja and environs,please email: eeshab73@gmail.com. Call:08125891129 ) said...

God help us singles sha.

reemah said...

But he made sense now😥

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

Long hiss my sister!...

If your husband behaves this way,biko go and do spiritual work on his head!...
This is slavery mehn!...
Inukwa?...

NwamgbotOwerri said...

My dear don't wish to marry a pastor o. Those ones hide behind the Bible and commit atrocities in their homes
Please wish and pray to marry your own destined husband

La' Sunshine said...

Haha most Nigerian men are just looking for someone that will birth their kids while they roam about behaving like bachelors.

PASTOR'S DAUGHTER said...

Woow i was shakig my head all through the read. Women indeed are strong. Let me hear someone say go and marry to me in this blog and see the way i will roast him/her.






*hangs leg on the wall*

Roman God said...

Na your type I dey avoid. Abuja married women are something else.

Monkeynofine said...

Just do chop and clean mouth and move the hell on! Why do some married women love so cheaply? Or better still go for divorce!

Ndidiamaka Ndidiamaka said...

Nice comment💃💟

jelly said...

I come against these in my marriage, Amen 🙏

SHAKITI BABY said...

Na Pastor own worse pass.

SHAKITI BABY said...

Na Pastor own worse pass.

Miyake said...

I think the majority of Nigerian women should concentrate more on making money too, their dependence on a “financially stable man" for marriage is killing their joy.
#my2kobo

Anonymous said...

Very real situation in many homes. But i tell you that there are still some responsible husbands.
My husband tries to avoid anything that would stress me. If it will, he will do it instead. His life is very easy going. I can access his fone at any time and he uses mine too. He hardly keeps late night and he takes me out with him everytime except i decide to stay home. We are like siblings/best friends/lovers/... My family doesnt even worry about me cos they see him as a rare type of man and i am safe with him.
Domestic violence is not even an option for him. Don't get me wrong o. We fight and quarrel but it never results to verbal or physical abuse. We both do not believe in insults.
He is one of those rare kinds that you try not to take advantage of because he has a heart of gold. I pray God continues to bless and protect him for me.

Push up said...

longest hiss, women take a lot, everyday I sing to my hubby ears of how I am not a bullshit taker, I keep asking where these women met this man? If they could face making money and not marital issues they would make it in life, I have always said I can't stay where I am unhappy, and the last thing il do is stay with a man that I keep spending for and he keeps using his share to follow woman, why are now together, I love money a lot mehn

Anonymous said...

And Family and friends will be pushing you to marry. I am 30 and I will wait for God's choice for me! I will use this time to build myself. Everyone must not be married!

Juloghosa said...

Is it not better u divorce him than to be committing adultery? Wetin I know sef!

Anonymous said...

It would have been better if the stories were posted one or two at a time. Now it is all too much, where do I start?

Precious Ibik said...

Wow! Afraid con dey catch me.

Hannah said...

I am a born and bred in Nigeria Nigerian woman married to a born and bred in Nigeria Nigerian man and my marriage is nothing like what is up there, not by a long shot and I have been marrried 11 years with 3 kids.

I guess I am just special blessed!
Thank you, Lord for the man you gave me!

In would choose him again and again, without fail!

Amacastel said...

No be small all these in one marriage yet she is still alive, na God go help us oooo

sisi eko said...

LMAO. I don't think i can read anything from this guy. No matter how senseless or sensible. His face alone....arrgggh🙄

Ok bye

sandra said...


I believe anybody that owns 100% of your heart is worth fighting for. Yes, I am boasting because I never adhered to some negative advice from my parents when I was about getting married. There was a war between our two family then my husband was his mothers puppy, his family members used him a lot that he cant make any decision without consulting them. What surprised me most was the moment a 36-year-old man seeks his parent and some family members consent before dating anyone, the worst happened when he was instructed to bring me along to their country home in N. Rampart, New Orleans, it was risky to accept such invitation.
The war between our families started when he finally proposed (that was about 4 years ago), his family gave some conditions if he must wife me (we have to live with them), I was in shock when my husband accepted and was happy with their conditions (so crazy). My family wagged and demanded I should breakup with him immediately.
I decided to give him the last shot as a man whom has already taken over 100% of my heart, I took a risk to go spiritual with them by consulting Priest AKOBE via AKOBESPIRITUALHOME40@gmail.com, I dont know how but the spiritual father already knew I was going to consult him. He first of all told me the danger I was into and how my husband has been enslaved since birth, how they keep brain washing him to do their wills.
Like the quote that says a person sees clearly only with the heart, I realized that nobody saw what I saw in my husband and thats why I used the help of PRIEST AKOBE to put him out of his misery. His eyes where opened by PRIEST AKOBE for the first time, his family fell in love with me and granted every of our request, our families have known peace since after the love spell. It is over 2 years after the love spell and my husband has continued to improve every day without interference from his family. I have waited too long to share this amazing piece. Thanks for your time and also to PRIEST AKOBE. I knew him through reading some amazing testimonies on blogs.

Nwanyi ukwu nuu said...

Men same with me joor, and I can't keep one or two,I have to change them like pants.e too sweet joor

Uche Okoli said...

Exactly my case.Will forever be grateful to GOD.

Anonymous said...

Hell to the no ,beating too is involved after cheating laye laye

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