Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Baby Mama /Baby Daddy And The No Choice Option...

Advertisement

Advertisement - Mobile In-Article

Monday, 26 June 2017

Baby Mama /Baby Daddy And The No Choice Option...

For some,it is easy to sit down and Judge...for some,it is an Itch that must be scratched.....


What if as a man or woman you are not getting any younger,haven't found a soul mate and feel the need to procreate before it is too late?This is age inspired...

Yes,those who are married quickly jump on the bandwagon to cuss out Baby mamas and baby daddy's but for some,it is something that must be done..

Some women are ticking already Biologically...What are they supposed to do?
My Friend just took out a massive Fibroid and she has been told to quickly get pregnant because of some blah blah I didnt understand..She is not married and has vowed to get pregnant for anyone..........Would you blame her if you hear her story?

Some are sick and quickly want to do it................I know some who fall in this category...

This post does not excuse s3xually wayward people who became baby mamas and daddys out of carelessless.

This post rather seeks to find your piece of mind on people who knowingly become baby mamas and daddys because they have no choice...

I dont know if I made any sense but we have people walking around and even on this blog who have this problem....Should they be Judged or encouraged?

Did i make any sense?

76 comments:

LOLO IDEATO said...

It's better to have someone carry your name, than die without having a generation!

I am not against intentional baby mamas or papas because of the situation they find themselves in

IBUKUNOLUWA said...

I go read people comments then kon shook mouth 😂

IBUKUNOLUWA said...

Moreover abeg let's save or strangle some Bvs as today is a holiday,I get plenty power.

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

I have said it here countless times that any woman above 35 without a husband should get pregnant ASAP!...
Just look for a clean nigga without a generational curse that would do the needful!...

Doppelgänger said...

A child is a blessing from God. What ever situation that brought about the birth of that baby is for a purpose.
It's a woman's choice to have her child whichever way she wants either after getting married or before. So long as you are capable of raising that child then you're good to go.
I know many women who pretend to be pregnant then travel out only to come back with a baby they didn't form in their womb simply because they are ashamed of what people will say concerning adopting.
I also have a family friend who isn't married and said she didn't want to be saddled with baby papa wahala and went ahead to adopt a new born baby. She is enjoying motherhood and her family are in support. I won't judge anyone who takes such steps, better to be a single mother and raise a child well than marry one useless man who'd only make life unbearable for you simply because you had his child.
If you can afford to raise a child, either use a sperm bank or adopt that's if you're not married.

Villager said...

If yhu axe me, na whu eye go axe?

Hadey Halaba said...

No one should be a judge unto another.

The destination is same (live a long happy life), the road path is numerous,

God bless us all.

Anonymous said...

I had fibroid surgery in 2011, had so many tiny ones scattered all over my womb, now the fibriods are back and I have been asked by my doctor to take in ASAP bcos I can't risk another surgery as he says my womb will be better if yanked off sef if I don't take in ASAP, to add to it , I even have to go through IVF to take in as the first surgery damaged one of my tubes and I presently have a coil inserted in my uterus to keep the womb apart and stop it from closing up, I'm not married. So if I get pregnant now via IVF God willing, do you think I care what anyone will say about me not being married and pregnant??? How many ppl do I want to tell my story??? I answer to God alone. My prayer is that marriage will most definitely happen for me.

agbo ruth said...

Being a baby mama is not a sin...I can't judge dem because i don't knw wat d future holds in stock 4 me

Chike TEFLON said...

Being a baby mama or Daddy is not a sin but the only sin there is the sin of fornication of which 98% of us are guilty of it. They are far better than the ones who did abortion.

I'm not God. So I will not judge anybody.

Potential said...

Enter your comment...commenting for the first time pop me some champagne

Anonymous said...

I will encourage anyone finding it difficult getting a spouse go for this..! with a decent person tho.
Afterall who marrige eep?not everibody wey marry' marriage dey pay.

Stella Igbokei said...

Well for me I won't judge nor encourage baby mama/daddy ish. If you know your time is ticking loud get a surrogate or enter a marriage of convenience. Have anyone taken time to think about the child will be affected phychologically?

SANDY YO said...

Well, I am not against dem especially when you get to some certain age. People will talk and talk but for their pocket. As far as you will be able to take good care of your baby without disturbing someone, then you are good to go. Let God be your judge.

St.FranKooL.... said...

#Our greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter*

xxxTrinityxxx said...

So when you have a child via a surrogate or enter a marriage of convenience the child wont be affected psychologically? Pls listen to yourself. And the so called surrogate will probably be an unmarried woman. So you should not be a baby mama but encourage someone who's also single to bear a child for you while you pay for it? Pls reread what you wrote abeg

Princess Charming... The no1 Princess on SDK blog. said...

Like Linda Eze said, if as a lady and one is above 35,and no soul mate, it's best to get pregnant and be a single mum.

No time to check time.

xxxTrinityxxx said...

Very true. I mentioned someone i know who has fibroid. So huge she looks pregnant. She refused to be operated on. No husband. In her early forties.she wishes she had a baby when she could and not waiting for a husband. She has become very bitter

Joyoba said...

I know of a lady that is 35yrs old no man in her life..... so are you saying if a man ask her to be his baby mama she should say no? Don't judge others cos u don't know the pain they are carrying in their heart.

GALORE said...

All I know is that GOD standard can't be diluted

Do you !!!


On the judgment day, we go all bear our papa name



As regards this topic, for me I think it's better to go to sperm bank as a woman and get a sperm... Doctors will do the rest

Or get a surrogate


But for you as a woman to collect PRICK and get belle, and come born pikin and become Baby Mama.. That for me I don't like it.



@Galore

STARRY LARRY said...

All I know is if you know you're not getting any younger, please born pikin for any available normal man, as far as you're capable of training the kid/s if the man decided not to be responsible




*Larry was here*

Anonymous said...

You are advising them to go for this but whose marriage would they be destroying?

STARRY LARRY said...

And God will bless you with your baby soon




*Larry was here*

GALORE said...

There was a woman, a young lady that was 37 years old.. .this one no be moi moi story.. Na she tell me her story.. She is now 50 years old

She said, when she was young, over 3. Years, no husband, because she was @AS genotype... She prayed, she did everything nothing... Then she said she decided to help her self.. .she is Spirikoko oo.. Then she met a guy, this guy she knew him when they were both in the university.. .so she went out with this guy, she purposely got drunk, so the guy.. Then she made sure the guy slept with her.... She got pregnant.. .she was so happy.. She said good! !!

Only for her to give birth, and it was still birth.... She cried, she said there and there she left the hospital with the baby and she went straight to RCCG camp.. When she got there.. She prayed and prayed.. Nothing happened.... She left and took the baby home and kept the baby for 2 days.. Nothing happened... .only for people to start thinking she was mad. ..Her family came and took the baby to bury, because the baby already turned "green "

She said while she was in the hospital, because she was taking to psychiatrist unit, they thought she was running mad

She said while she was there... She saw a trance. .she saw Jesus telling her, you never waited, you were too eager to help yourself. ..you see the outcome.

She said Jesus told her... I know your end before your beginning.. .why the rush?

To cut the long story short.. .@47 years of age... Her husband locoated her... That man came from US for a church seminar in Nigeria, and immediately the man said, YOU ARE MY WIFE. ..God told me specifically

Fast forward, she got married.. Now 50 plus years old

What am I trying to say:

YOU CANT HELP GOD.... .GOD has perfect plan for your life... Don't think you are smart by doing what you are not suppose to do because you feel age is not on your side

God standard can't be broken



@Galore

GALORE said...

She has Triplet Now.... Immediately she got married and was with her husband in America, She opted for IVF....



So, Breathern, stop helping GOD




@Galore

virus detected said...

I tell you. Its not really difficult raising a child as a single mom. The child will ve alot of daddy issues.

GALORE said...

It is well

Dear Heavenly Father, hear the heart cry if this woman

Give her testimony that look like a lie

Let her have evidence,in Jesus mighty name I intercede on her behalf.. .Amen.


Be expectant @Ma'm.




@Galore

Josephine said...

@ Galore, I agree with you. It made "sense" for Sarah to give her husband her maid to impregnate but look at the wahala it caused. God's law is perfect. He doesn't need our help. A friend of mine got pregnant for a guy with a girlfriend. Like most of us, she's too much of a good girl to abort but not too good for sex. She decided to keep the baby and the man was angry. He rejected them both so yes she's 37 with her child but money is tight, the child has a complex because he has no dad and she is bitter. Is it worth it?

Real estate marketers said...

Eeh yaah
The Lord will hear your cry soonest....Amen

Eminado Onimisi said...

Hmmm, one needs to fear God @ Galore's testimony of the lady. Well, if you need to have a child, go for a single guy. Don't break another person's home just because you can't get yours.

Jide from Abuja said...

This one, na very tall tory.
Why do we judge others?
The paths to a good life andcself-fulfilment are of divergent dimensions. The most important thing is to bring into this world, children that you give proper attention and help to become ok members of the society.

Anonymous said...

I will encourage any woman who gets up to 35 without getting married to have a child or children as far as she can cater for them.
The shit women tolerate when they are desperate is unbearable.

Anonymous said...

My prayer for you is that you live a long, healthy and fulfilled life with your children

Anonymous said...

Thank you xxx......
Imagine the nonsense she typed

Anonymous said...

God bless u @Galore for ur ability to stand up for the truth. Anybody who calls him/herself a Christian shd know that u do not serve God at ur own convenience. There is nothing like judgement here. The word of God is EXPLICITLY clear on the matter. Refrain from extramarital sex! Nobody can do God's work for Him. He knows why ur situation is the way it is. Assuming u go ahead and have that baby and he/she ends up bringing u pain and humiliation in life or doesn't even survive? There are ppl with much worse cases than u who wait on God and he does not disappoint them. It kd be a test of ur faith. Those talking about judgement, why is it in matters of sex that they remember judgement? Haven't some of them judged the likes of Evans? If somebody slaps them won't they judge immediately? Abeg, Christianity no be half and half business. Let's not delude ourselves. PS: I'm not making a case for Evans, nevertheless.

Anonymous said...

Wish I can Iike ur comment@ doppIeganger

Cutiebee said...

We that became baby mama as a result of carelessness and suffering as a result now, may God help us.
May God bless all women with the fruit of the womb, having a child is a thing of joy that all women should experience.

Anonymous said...

This is for me. I am in the process of adopting a child. I will be 44 in October. My relationships never works out. Somehow, I am good enough to have sex with but not enough to be a wife. I thank God I am not bitter. I have very little regret in my life. And adopting is one of the best decision I have ever made. I have a good job and I can provide well for the child. I have supports of my folks. Friends have tried to advised me to just look for one guy and sleep with or do IVF, and I have refused those options for my self. I see those route as forcing a child to come into the world. When there are so many children already out there that just need a loving home. So I am very exited about this next stage of my life. And I pray that I would be a good parent to the child.

Anonymous said...

A child is a reflection of how the mother brings him up. What of those children whose father died young, no be d mother raise am alone.
Am 35 single thru no fault of mine,have decided to have a baby(ies) to be my companion in old age. It's better I be a mother than an Aunty abeg. Oh yes the best option open to me is a second wife. Make nobody judge me. Am not and won't disturb the other woman. Will maintain my lane and face my Biz and baby. Have a family who is 50yrs no child or husband all becos she wanted to av dat dream wedding/husband. Abeg who marriage help.

Aunty Sera Nwokebuife said...

U just said my mind. 1 million likes for you

Anonymous said...

Procreating outside or within wedlock is not a sin. You don't have to fornicate or commit adultery to have a child. All these biological clock this, biological clock that has made many women take grave decisions. Work hard, make money, go on dates, find love and be a loving person yourself. If you feel you're running out of time and not get getting luck in finding a good man, you can freeze your eggs and be patient, or you opt for a sperm donor. You don't necessarily have to fornicate, but you need money, reason you have to work hard.

Anonymous said...

Thank you all for the prayers. I will testify in Jesus name and may the good Lord grant you all your hearts desires in accordance to his will for you.

Uriel (Freshdew) said...

I have recently learnt not to judge people cos am not in their shoes. So E-hugs.

Anonymous said...

God drawn a at fornication, not artificial insermination

Broomstick said...

I pray your wishes come true. I'd also suggest, if there isn't any additional cost, request for two babies. Also, if you can afford it, harvest your eggs so you can have some ready in case your hubby(I know you'll get married) or his peoole mount pressure for a child or two. It is well with you

Broomstick said...

Err Virus detected, so those whom their fathers were absentee fathers don't have daddy issues? Or even some with violent fathers? What am I even saying sef? I know a family who have a father who's great. They all say so but the 3 daughters of the family have serious daddy issues. One is a close friend and I was concerned enough to ask her one day if she was being abused sexually by her father. She laughed and told me to stop talking rubbish. I insisted and she said no, he's not abusing her but she just likes messing with older, married men cos they're as caring as her father is with their mum. I suspect she's in love with her father kinda but fear no gree me ask her that one.

Broomstick said...

There are other ways to get pregnant than sex. What's your opinion about those ones? Not everything should be about morality and my understanding of this post points to that

Broomstick said...

An aunt became a baby(or I should say babies) mama by choice when in her late 40s. She was of good character and so loving and lovable. Why she didn't get married was linked with spiritus. She died last year, still without a husband, at the age of 83 but a grandmother. Should I judge her for fornicating to procreate? Heck no! Should I blame God for not helping her overcome her situation? I dey craze? Should I say it was her destiny? I don't know. Anybody who's comfortable with the idea of being a single parent, it's your life. As long as you make your peace with your maker, what's my own?

PASTOR'S DAUGHTER said...

one thing i know is i serve a God who can pause, rewind or even fast forward my biological clock. he is the creator of time. telling me bcoz i have a biological clock ticking so fast is a good reason for me to be a baby mama is crap.
i have learnt to let God handle his business. if he refused to do the needful shey be na him get him words.
he cant go against his words so why should i be bothered?
i will do my part and let God do his part.


there is no justification for being a baby mama whether intentionally or not.
is that the reason why you were created sef?

Justyswt said...

U are very right the Queen and boss. My cousin was waiting to get married to her then boyfriend for years. After some years she fell pregnant. And people advised her to keep the pregnancy. She did, waiting to still get married to the bf. After 2years again, another pregnancy. She kept that one. Later the bobo left for the abroad. Now she has 2boys and she is still not married. Those boys are her source of joy now. What if she didn't keep those pregnancies.

So I don't judge people that just decide to become baby mamas.

Anonymous said...

Don't sha go near another woman's husband before u regret it.

Anonymous said...

This is for me. I am in the process of adopting a child. I will be 44 in October. My relationships never works out. Somehow, I am good enough to have sex with but not enough to be a wife. I thank God I am not bitter. I have very little regret in my life. And adopting is one of the best decision I have ever made. I have a good job and I can provide well for the child. I have supports of my folks. Friends have tried to advised me to just look for one guy and sleep with or do IVF, and I have refused those options for my self. I see those route as forcing a child to come into the world. When there are so many children already out there that just need a loving home. So I am very exited about this next stage of my life. And I pray that I would be a good parent to the child.

Anonymous said...

If only many ladies will just stop this slay queen thing they won't have problem getting married and have there children legitimately in God's way, many ladies keep being overly selective until they clock 35 before their eyes clear. Personally I think this is the root cause of this baby mama and daddy stuff, imagine someone like don jazzy and ikegi still doing like kids when their mates are done with child bearing. Having children out of wedlock is a sin. Yes you can say I am being judgemental but the truth is always bitter, no matter what way or science you choose to use in having a baby it's still remain a big sin. Stop slaying and stop running after money and just marry at 25 please to avoid sin.

Anonymous said...

The other woman will kill u I swear! Better stay away n wait for God's purpose 4 u.

Anonymous said...

Amen, God will not only bless you with the fruit of the womb but also with a godly man after Gods heart.

Anonymous said...

Stellz you are a darling any day. I will be 45 this October. I got married at 30, late for an only child of my late mum. My husband was violent in all ramifications and I didn't know he had sperm count issues. I was raised by a strong christian mother so I did everything to stay in the marriage but my husband now ex used the fact that he is a medical doctor to put all blame on me and finally he left me after 8yrs, I was 38 when he left me in our flat empty with only N500 to my name. My step mum turned me into a laughing stock. I was lucky to get a nice job few years ago and I met a guy after years of celibacy I met a guy I who promised me marriage and claimed not to be in a relationship then. One thing led to another and I got pregnant same month we met. His behaviour changed. Was I supposed to go for an abortion? Hell NO. I moved on, had my baby girl. I'm very grateful to God for this. She will soon turn 4. Iv been celibate since I had her. I'm happy to have someone who I return home to after a hard day job. God knows why life turned out this way and I am very happy with my life

Uriel (Freshdew) said...

You dont have to be a second wife, you can still meet a single guy(just believe it). Cos i believe you attract what you believe. Its still your life and choice anyway.

GALORE said...

Amen and Amen

Cheers


You know what? When it seems that God is coming too late, HE is coming in a BIG way.



@Galore

GALORE said...

Why mention @Don jazzy and @Linda ikeji?

Are you also thinking what I am thinking?

Abeg leave them.. When it's time, God will make them husband and wife

If they choose to oo




@Galore

GALORE said...

It is well.


I don't want you to feel bad, not at all.. .i am not in your shoes


But do you know that, there is no excuse with God?


You don't tell God.. Eem Eem, because of bla bla bla, I did this or that

Follow his principles...

God standard can't be BENT


.i am glad you have your daughter @Ma'm, since you got pregnant, you had to other option... You couldn't have aborted any way



@Galore

Kacey May said...

I pray the good lord grant you all your heart desires. You shall testify. Amen

Kacey May said...

It is well sis.

Anonymous said...

@trinityxxx. I did the same two years ago. She's 16 months already.

Person Peekeen said...

Different strokes for different folks
Whatever rocks the individuals boat
#For as long as you have the mindset to live with which ever decision you choose,well and good...
Can't start acting judge over personal issues affecting/paining you that I don't know jack about..
#We all have a right to be happy

Iphie dearie said...

I pray everything works out perfectly for you. Amen

Anonymous said...

I agree. Let her explore those options, if she can handle single parenthood.

Iphie dearie said...

Nice one👏👏

Iphie dearie said...

8years of someone's life!!! Wow... That Ex of yours is something else.😳

Anonymous said...

Yea. I had to get pregnant after I had a failed marriage. Was married for 6 years, never got pregnant once. Marriage ended and a year down the line, got a younger guy and took in immediately. I don't regret my decision. My daughter is my world. I don't regret having her. I am 35 now and very relaxed. I won do it again though. If I must have more kids, I'll need a husband for that. By the way the guilt of sin is also there

Ronalda. said...

A very controversial topic, I must say. There's 1 question I haven't really got a satisfactory answer to. Where exactly are the ladies looking for baby-daddies supposed to find them? A lot of people encourage single ladies within a particular age range to get pregnant before the window of fertility closes. Yeah, it is so easy to say "try to get pregnant before it is too late". But have you bothered to analyse the gravity of your suggestions? It's not like reasonable men grow on trees or can be picked up from department stores like groceries. If it were that easy to get a man, the lady in question wouldn't be in the predicament she now finds herself.

As a married lady or a single lady in a st‎eady relationship, would you allow her "borrow" your man for a bit? Come on! It's not like she wants to move in as a 2nd wife. She just needs him to sire her child because she isn't getting any younger. So who among us will volunteer? Suddenly, it doesn't seem like a good idea anymore, no? The men you suggest should sire these children, have women in their lives as well. If you don't want your hubby or your boyfriend "helping out", whose husband or boyfriend should do the honours? Don't wish others what you can't cope with yourself.

Let's be honest with ourselves, how many single  young men would be available or willing ‎to sire a child with an older woman he has no intentions of marrying? The men who may be okay with that arrangement are usually married men. So whose home should be in jeopardy because a lady really needs to have a baby? I've read very harsh comments made when a single lady seems to be dating a married man. Some of you go for the jugular and declare the lady persona non grata. You even cry more than the bereaved. Does it mean you guys would stop attacking side chics if they say all they want is to have a baby? 

Ronalda. said...

Like it's commonly said "everyone wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die." As a lady, you ask another lady to look for a man to knock her up but Heaven ‎forbids another lady chooses your man. There aren't any responsible single men out there who don't have at least 1 woman in their lives. Even the irresponsible ones have up to 3 or 4 "steady" ladies in their lives.

From what I've seen, a lot of baby-mamas and baby-daddies ‎didn't set out to become one. Some ladies fell for smooth operators who abandoned them with the pregnancies. Some others were naive enough to think they could trap the men with the pregnancy. Some ladies were in loving relationships and "accidentally" got pregnant only to have their boats rocked the wrong way. The percentage of ladies who deliberately planned to be baby-mamas because they wanted children, are minimal. Some ladies actually lie that it was deliberate because of the embarrassment of admitting they were jilted.

It is trite that to each his own. Personally, I see wanting to have children because you don't want to be lonely or to keep the integrity of your womb, as a selfish act. A child deserves a stable home with both parents to love and nurture. If something happens along the way and you become a single parent, at least your conscience is clear that you brought the child into this world and into a stable home but...life happened.

If I may be so bold to make a suggestion, isn't it better to adopt a baby? There are already thousands of orphans and abandoned babies looking for a loving parent. Why not help to save an already formed life? For those who have medical issues like fibroids, have you considered the fact that your desire to be a mother can cause another lady like yourself grief ‎and at the end, you still wouldn't have the baby. Some women will go diabolical just to keep the men in their lives from flirting with other ladies. Let's hope you live long and remain sain enough to enjoy your baby when he/she finally arrives.

MITCHY said...

@Galore iS IVF Still not helping God ?

Anonymous said...

You just judged by saying they are better than the one's who did abortion....

Amacastel said...

Galore this ur story na African magic

Amacastel said...

@37 she should thank God for giving her a child & forget about the man jor.

Anonymous said...

Well said, Ronalda. U know a lot of ppl talk without thinking; or merely repeat what others are saying.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...