Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Sunday, 9 July 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmm na wah...




STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DIARY OF  A CONFUSED HOUSEWIFE


Stella I must say you are doing a real good job. If only you know how many lives you save each day that passes.....thanks alot for this platform.


I met my husband when I was doing my national diploma, he just graduated that time, it felt like heaven on earth coz he was all I ever wish in a man.. He got a job 2014 though not too good a pay, #110.000. He proposed and we started planning marriage the next year, I got pregnant so we had to rush it, he took a loan from the bank for our wedding and afterwards I had to go back to school. 


Stella everything was going on well, he made sure me and our baby never lacks, he is so responsible for us that for over a year he has mot changed his boxers or singlets not to talk of buying new cloths for himself. He has sacrificed alot for us.
So last year I brought my kid Sis to stay and watch over our toddler while I go back to school and prepare for mu final exams.. 

I visit home every two weeks. She is 19 by the way.


After my exams I finally came back home, the temperature of my home wasn't the way I left it.
I noticed my kid Sis started disrespecting my husband, she started locking her room door and my husband would say nothing about it so I started being suspicious, I snooped through his phone and hers and found nothing rather some silly love and sex chat between she and other guys. 

I called and asked her in a very calm voice why she is being disrespectful towards my husband., if anything happened while I was away, she said nothing, she is obedience, nice and has helped alot in the house and I love her very much.

We decided to go see my mum in the village since its been a while, hubby didnt object, about when we were suppose to come back my mum said my kid Sis is not going with me, the next thing she started crying.. 


She said my kid Sis told her my husband tried to rape her, Stella, my heart was shattered I couldn't hold my self I cried that night till the next day, I asked my sister how and when it happened, she said he came back from work very late one evening around 11pm , she was watching a movie as she got up to go prepare his food he held her and asked her to come sit on his lap, she refused and he started struggling with her, that they struggled till 4am the next morning. Then the next day he he apologised and promised it won't happen again. 


My mum suggest I divorce him.


We came back home and I asked him, he admitted trying to have sex with her, that he was a bit tipsy the night it happened, that he never tried raping her, that if he had wanted to rape he would considering he is a man blah blah blah... 

He has been begging me to forgive him... 

Stella for three weeks now my head has been spinning, can't sleep, eat or do anything.. My marriage is not the same again, no happiness, everyone on your own, we don't communicate.
This is a man I have known for over four years and I can beat my chest and say he has never cheated the only problem I know he has is being a member of that stupid confraternity called ''pirates'' AKA seadogs. 


Am thinking of Divorce but where do I start from?? The only savings I have is 20k.....
I can't divorce him and take my child to stay in our two bedroom family house with five of my siblings, Don't have any friend that can help.


Stella please what do I do coz I can't stand him honestly
A friend said since ''it '' didn't happen I should try and take my mind off it but I just can't

pls don't criticise my English
I never had English classes in secondary school coz my English teacher was always pregnant and tired... Yes na public school I go...



*Madam,I do not think that you should divorce your husband because of this..You described him as a good man and stated the only problem you have with him....
look for a balancing point and discuss things with him..ask him if he wants a divorce or he wants therapy ....
Try to work things back...give him one more chance.





171 comments:

SWAG LAFRESH said...

I think I've read this story here before

LOLO IDEATO said...

Take a break in another room in your home. Try talk things out with him.

You sound like your husband is broke! He is not an original Pirate. My EX was a pirate and a rich one!

God help you

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

Every small thing you people will be saying divorce divorce!...
The only time I advise people for divorce is if there is a domestic violence!...
Poster,you have to forgive him!...
Oh yes forgive him but make sure you suffer him wella before forgiving!...
This is what you get when you didn't chain your husband!...
I can leave my husband with sexy nude girls for days and nothing will happen!...
Manage him like that cos if you leave him the next man might be worse!...

STARRY LARRY said...

Your mum said you should divorce him, and if you divorced him, you will move back and be staying with her abi? Don't divorce him o, just don't bring in any female, either family or maid to stay with you people. Please find space in your heart to forgive and forget, I know it's not easy, nobody is above mistake, the description of your man by you shows he's indeed a good man. Please forgive him

Ladies stop this assertion that your man can't cheat on you, even if you believe him to that level, don't say it, never zero your mind that a man can't cheat on you, says who?




*Larry was here*

Anonymous said...

What if you sister didn't tell you or your mum. Poster since it didn't happen I dnt think it's enough reason to divorce your husband. Forgive him.

Anonymous said...

What if you sister didn't tell you or your mum. Poster since it didn't happen I dnt think it's enough reason to divorce your husband. Forgive him.

Villager said...

yhu meen the strugled from aruond 11pm to 4am???

more of ''eye wont leaf yhu onless yhu late me fork yhu" ting.... xorri, "eye wont leaf yhu onless yhu blase me'...

*rememba the stori of Jacop in the bibu???

Ms SSS a.k.a stunning slim shady said...

Kronicles ti de

Judith Simeon said...

Dear narrator, since he was truthful enough to admit the attempt....i think you should give him a second chance and give him time too. but don't forget to start saving up fast..

Anonymous said...

I am so shocked at Mrs korkus right now. A man that tried raping your sister shouldn't be given another chance. He has been eying your little sister for a while. Mrs Korkus, why don't we consider the 19 year old that was almost raped. What psychological effect will all these have on her? I bet no one is thinking about her. madam poster, the relationship between you and your sister will never remain the same. your hubby ain't trustworthy.

Anonymous said...

Madam did you not tell us that "you rushed to get pregnant and rushed the marriage?" You think you knew him?
Please madam your husband did "evil" but do not absolve yourself from it all. You did not know this man well.
Divorce is a bad news that does not go away. It follows you the woman everywhere. He will marry quickly, you may not and it will not end the hurt you are having already. As long as this man does not beat you and your life is not in danger in anyway work it out and build your home with him. Keep your sister away from your home and do not think that having money is enough to make you heal, God's love will.

Blackberry said...

'you can beat ur chest he never cheated' but he tried to sleep with ur sister! Some Women n light brain.

Anonymous said...

Madam it was an attempted rape, women have seen worse and still in their marriages.

Remember marriage is a union of 2 forgivers.

You still have many years ahead in that marriage and you are thinking of running after the first incident

Got to counselling with ur hubby, forgive him and move on

Don't try to rub it to his face in future. Forgive and Forget!

Anonymous said...

Lol she shouldn't divorce her husband? He tried to RAPE her younger sister. Such level of disrespect. What if he had succeeded? The man is a beast please.

Chidinma Grace said...

That's a big wahala. To even think of sleeping with your own sister. But since you said that he is a good man, then give him another chance if you are sure he felt remorseful. Good luck

Anonymous said...

Please ladies, do not rush into marriage. Don't have sex before marriage and get pregnant no matter how good he seems. A grown up woman should not be left with your husband for weeks in the house; to prepare his meals and virtually fulfill your role. such roles will invariably include sex. A drunk man cannot distinguish between chicken and goat when it comes to sex. Ladies always have the shorter end of the stick.

Monkeynofine said...

Hummmm of all pussy na ya sis own he see? Chai this one hard ooooo. Waiting to read comments 😑

Atheist ™ said...

Divorce is taking the issue to the extreme, & will leave you with psychological trauma, & ur kid will feel the impact on the long run, all because of one erection that didnt make it into the intended destination... id recommend u seperate for awhile till the dust settles around ur house, cus its no longer a home, then u can try rebuilding one brick at a time again, i cant say same for the trust u had for him though, he has to earn that. I hate it wen ppl blame their actions on the booze, ofcourse it was premeditated, the liquor just catapulted their courage to the nxt level & lowered their inhibitions... take responsibilities 4 ur actions damnit, youve been playin that scene in ur head over time.... he has alwys checked her out b4 that night.

Madam Small Chops said...

Cheating is something I find very hard to forgive ,God help me.It breaks me to the marrow so I can imagine the state of your home now.

Good a thing it didn't happen but now you are in the know take measures to avoid future occurrence (say no to stay in nanny,your sibling should visit only when you are around,get an off camp accommodation so that your sis or babysitter can attend to your child)

It will be hard to look at your hubby same way again but forgive him.If you are able to forgive him your family will forgive him as well.To save or destroy your marriage is in your hands now.

Meanwhile,empower yourself(when you are done with school while waiting for a job learn a skill).There is nothing as sweet as your own money.

I pray whatever decision you take turns out for your good.

sucrexoxo said...

Poster,I don't understand what you feel, only you can. If you know you can wholeheartedly forgive and work on your marriage,please do. If you know you can't, for the sake of your sanity and kids,walk away. Divorcing him doesn't mean he'll no longer cater for his children (child support). If you want to work on your marriage,do not bring any female into your home to help,keep temptation far from him. God bless your well-trained sister.

Anonymous said...

He was obviously drunk, please forgive him and move on. Also apologise to ur sis

I am king EZE said...

I know what he did is terrible but you need to move past this not because of your 'savings' but because of your child and you, get your husband to go to your mothers and apologize to her and your sister. No marriage is perfect.

Who'sThatGirl doubleuteegee said...

May God not tempt us with what is more than us. Tufia! Imagine, he still has mouth to say "if he had wanted to, he would have considering he is a ...." This one deserved no second chance abeg, but with your financial status what should I sat

I hope ladies learn, have your own money, establish your self even as a wife! How can you be depending on a husband for everything, such that you literally can't survive without him. Oya tell me when he wont misbehave again. You better stop beating your chest to his defence and shine your eyes henceforth, if you decide to stay put.
Imagine the nonsense!

Anonymous said...

A man that tried to sleep with your lil sister is worse than a man who goes out to cheat. I am so shocked with the comments

Anonymous said...

A man that tried to sleep with your lil sister is worse than a man who goes out to cheat. I am so shocked with the comments

Anonymous said...

Did u read the part that said he was tipsy, meaning he was under alcoholic influence, he didn't do it with open eyes. That's not enough reason to pack ur things and go and become a single mum. Plus he's been begging meaning he regrets it. Why not let's be grateful that thesister sef didn't agree. I know there are some sisters who would probably agree and be stabbing their blood sis in the back

The Lifted said...

Madam pls give him a second chance,could be he was drunk ,well it doesn't erase the fact that he's been lusting over ur kid sis, he might change in the future...u just have to be careful who u bring it to ur house from now on, it might be inevitable not to bring in any female in ur home,if he changes fine,if not u can divorce him finally.

sexy Daddy said...

Poster,listen to me!Don't ever divorce your husband. In marriage there comes a time when we feel like we never marrying the person we once confessed our love to.Please give him another chance.Have heart to heart talk with him.Seek counselling.Your once peaceful home will surely come back.Wish you the best.

Married women take my advice please. Stop bringing in your sisters or female adult relatives to stay with you.Its not really good most times.If they must come they should come and leave in earnest. Devil had ruin many once peaceful homes through these our socall sisters and relatives.

Anonymous said...

truthful after he got caught

Atheist ™ said...

murder and attempted murder come with diffrent sentence in a court of law..... no such thing as "what if"

Blackgirl said...

You always make sense and I love you!

Anonymous said...

I am not shocked about Stella's comment. Sometimes she gives very stupid advice.

Miz Selena said...

Madam poster, i advice you don't divorce your husband. It didn't happen hence the reason you should re consider him. The devil you know is better than the angel you do not know. oh yes! it is batter. Think about what you will go through when you divorce him.The stress and pain of taking care and raising your child all, as a single mother, the discomfort you will give to your peeps having you around, oh yes! that will come up later. Time will come when people will blame you for what happened to your marriage.(how you did not do your duties as a wife and how you preferred your education more than your family). My dear, no one is perfect and since he has apologized, give him a second chance and make your marriage work.
As a woman, God has given us that extra grace to make or break anything. You can make this work again. FORGIVE,LET GO AND LET GOD.
Please, do no divorce your husband. my two cents.
Sending you an e-hug.
It is well with you, dear.

Anonymous said...

Villager, your comments are headache inducing, but I have never regretted reading them. Keep being humorous.

Anonymous said...

Madam do u think being a parate automatically makes u a rich guy? Abeg relax. How many of them have u met? Stop sounding like a child.....

Anonymous said...

I cn relate to dis story.had a similar case,my elder sister's husband wanted to sleep with me too,i gave him d shock of his life,b y fighting him n shutting him down.....I couldn't tell my sister until he tried it anoder day n I had to wait for my sister @ the gate until she came bck from school leaving my 1yr old nephew with him to take care.that nite I told my sister n decided to go bck to my parents house but she begged me nt to tell them,dat is still a secret btw my sis,her husband n me.My sister lambasted him n he came prostrating n begged me,since thn I gave him space n greet him from a far.My sister forgave him,cos divorce is nt in her dictionary.so dear poster if your husband is a good man,forgive him,the devil is wicked n always pray for for husband.

Anonymous said...

You're just a materialistic moron! Who's talking about money? That woman who's foolish enough to say that N110,000 isn't too good a pay has nothing but a diploma, JOBLESS & N20,000 saving.

Mrs.R SDK blog Official BFF said...

Poster, your husband almost raped your sister, your sister is traumatized. Have you advised your sister to go seek help? Like visiting a shrink.

Is like you're only thinking about yourself without considering what your sister might be going through right now! Please, talk to your sister, the psychological effect of rape or almost being raped by someone you know can destroy her life.

I'll advice you take your child and go to your mother, live with her for a while. See the way things turn out.

Two things I can't stand in a man; a man that beat his wife and a rapist.
Your husband is a cultist, he must have raped someone before (that's their trademark)

And stop defending your husband.
The fact that he takes care of you doesn't give him the right to attempt raping your little sister.

I pray your sister find peace.

Anonymous said...

Madam mumu, you'll be surprised at the sweat-smelling housegirl he's eyeing & lusting after. Pray for your horseband & close your dirty mouth

Anonymous said...

this lekki rain go cause more wahala than wat we can see right now, wahala wey go show in 9months time, wen Oga de trapped indoors with maid or sister inlaw.... weather come cold again, madam de her friend place cause she no fit storm that flood to her house, ok na.... we de look

St.FranKooL.... said...

Madam, forgive him for he did not know what he did. And give him the benefit of doubt. You do not break at the first snap.
But be vigilant...

Mrs.R SDK blog Official BFF said...

No marriage is perfect, we're talking about a little almost being raped by her husband!

That girl is traumatised, and she will never want to see that man again. She might even fall into depression.

The man also need some counselling.

Anonymous said...

Prevention is better than cure. Dont assume everybody have the will to resist temptation. You left your husband with your sister in a house alone, a man you know drinks haba. I am not blaming you o but remember an erect penis has no conscience not when it is aided by booze. Its your job to decide if to forgive him or not. That your marriage remains or is destroyed depends on you. If you want to base your decision on media trial be my guest. To women and young ladies hoping to get married NEVER bring in another woman to stay with your husband with or without you being around especially not your relatives so that when it happens it wouldn't be too shocking. MEN are always tempted and very few ask before shooting majority shoot first before asking. Talking from experience, its not easy. I'm begging my wife not to bring her nice to my house she is wondering why and forming vex.visitation is allowed but coming to stay is a no no. Poster the decision is yours.

Anonymous said...

Does your father go after chickens and goats when he's drunk? I'm curious as to where the assertions came from. Leaving your husband for your someone else to cater to is wrong but this claim of "invariably include sex" is baseless

Anonymous said...

I do not think there is any crime beyond forgiveness. In this marriage business, you cant just throw in the towel at the first sign of indiscretion. I do think that the lady should consider doing the following:
- beg God for the heart to give him a second chance
- tell her husband how disappointed she is with him
- insist that the husband apologizes to her sister in the presence of her parents and also apologize to her parents too
- find a way to move on and still work on the relationship /marriage.
The reason I have said the above is that (by her own account) the husband has some good sides which could form a platform for reconciliation. You have to know that marriage requires a lot of forgiveness from BOTH parties as the need arises.
Also don't forget to earn ur independence soonest as it will give you better options in the future should your husband decide to still display awful behaviours.

Wish you the very best.

Anonymous said...

There's no "I" in marriage... it's our money NOT my money, the earlier spouses learn this, the better for them

BATUNDE said...

Dear madam,although your husband was wrong by his action,please and please try to forgive, forgetting is not easy but you just have to, unforgiving spirit destroys a marriage,pls don't add to divorce statistics

Anonymous said...

Eziokwu? You take his child away and he still caters for the child...issorite

Anonymous said...

How did you do the chaining?

Anonymous said...

Cheating is not the problem. There is a little girl that's saying he tried to rape her. That little girl is her sister. What is wrong with you people

Anonymous said...

They fucked.

Your husband fucked your younger sister, that is the reason your mother is asking you to divorce him. A mother would never ask the daughter to divorce the husband if something extreme didn't happen. She didn't want to go into details but she knows.

She knows if you don't divorce him, you will find out your husband slept with your sister later. Your mother is a woman full of wisdom and she sees the future from now. She doesn't want something that would cause problems between you ,your sister and your family.

Your younger sister cried when they asked her not to return? Wouldn't she be happy to leave such a house instead she cried? Why? What for?

All these excuses are not the reason you don't want to leave. You are afraid of the unknown. If you decide to stay, you will forever detest your sister, you will be insecure, you won't bring friends around your husband and you won't bring relations around.

That he takes care of you does not mean Jack. It's his responsibility. Who is he supposed to take care of?

KING XOXO MYSTERY

Super Model said...

Who brings in a 19year old sister to stay for weeks in your house with only your husband? Does yam and goat stay in the same house? Why didn't you take them to stay with ur mum? Imagine what ur mum is advising you to do. Better forgive ur husband and move on with life . Single mothers and single girls has not finish getting married is divorcee with a child. For ur information most men cheat talk less of when you present free "otu " for them.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Madam poster, I'm a man & let me be as objective as possible...your husband was very wrong for what he did however, you share in that blame. Young marriages are the devil's playground and once you loose guard on yours, he captures it. You have to come home & STAY with your husband henceforth. Do not let your mother and sister disrespect your husband, no matter what he has done, he is the father of your child! You have to take control and hold him high before your family once again...this is the test of the marital vows you took, for better for worse, worse is staring you in the face & waiting to see you action. Have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband & tell him how he's hurt you deeply and lost your trust. He has to show working and regain both your love and trust again & it's not a a day or a week thing, it may last decades but you also owe him the audacity of forgiveness especially when he's genuinely trying to right his wrong. Yes there'll be days you'd want to poison him but that's what love is about & that shows how deeply you care for him otherwise he wouldn't have such effects on you. In all you do, consider your child and the impact of your action today on his/her future. NEVER go back to live with your mother and sister, you will understand why the day you get into an quarrel with them. Divorce should not even be an option as this stage, I know it's painful but you have to find something good in him and hold onto that. He must also a heart-to-heart discussion with your mom & you present, let him tender unreserved apologies and don't let your mother belittle him. Do same with your sister & reaffirm his position as your husband and head irrespective of his actions and poor judgement. Finally, kneel down and PRAY like it's going out of fashion for divine guidance as you embark on this test

VICTORIOUS EHIS said...

Frm ur 1st to 3rd paragraph so on point


It's not everytime divorce. Pls forgive him

Anonymous said...

All I see is that he is a cultist. All the best to you.
I will advise you stay for now and plan well. Staying married to a cultist and someone who almost raped your sister. I understand you well cos I was 'used' by my sisters BIL.
So stay, get some money, Don't get pregnant and πŸƒ πŸƒ as fast as you can.

BeQuiet Instead said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

na wa o... sisters no fit come feel free for house again? abeg that advise no follow

Anonymous said...

Madam adviser...this isn't a money issue, it's a judgmental and character issue. There's no "I" or "my" in marriage...it's WE, US, OUR! It baffles me how people are quick & willing to exchange all types of body fluid but when it comes to money, una go dey shine eye like frog. The money your spouse makes is for y'all...there's no "I"

Anonymous said...

Nice one king Eze,he was obviously drunk,if he wanted to he could ve tried another day. Poster forgive him and instruct to apologise to your sister and Mum. It's well

Anonymous said...

All of you saying she should forgive are very stupid,especially because of her child.This is the kind of man that can sleep with his daughter and say he was drunk.This kind of men are evil and i am talking from experience.Poster please be rest assured that this is the beginning.I feel sorry for your sister,your husband has broken a trust.Be ready for more if you decide to stay with him

BeQuiet Instead said...

OMG! All I typed are gone?
Well, Poster, if your reason for mentioning divorce is bc of his attempt to rape/sleep with your kid sister, then I think you are going TOO far. Even if he succeeded in doing that but was sober, repentant and asked for forgiveness, I would still advice you forgive him. We ALL need a 2nd chance, main reason why Jesus Christ came in d flesh and died.

One of the major reasons we always find it difficult to forgive our spouse's wrongs is bc we put so much trust in them instead of God. Any human being can fail, therefor, we should trust God for their lives. We must make room for forgiveness when our spouses do wrong but admit and are ready to repent of them.

No one should claim to be a saint, we are all working towards perfection through God's Word.
Poster, you should neither separate nor divorce your hubby, instead have a heart-to-heart talk with him. You need healing in your home, you two can also discuss with your spiritual leader (Pastor) or see a professional counsellor. Pray for your home, DON'T DESTROY IT. God is able.

Let your sister go and don't take a female help in your house. I hope you won't leave for any school stuff again. Also, make sure your sister gets help incase she was traumatized - d 5hr struggle with your hubby can have effect on her psychologically. Also, talk with your Mom and let her see reasons you shouldn't leave your marriage. I understand her pain, your Dad must have been a good hubby to her.

Anonymous said...

I'm surprised the lady didn't ask her sister how she dresses normally at home when she is not around. Incident that happened by 11pm, I'm sure the sister was probably in night clothes without a bra..not that it's intentional..what I'm sayin is madam u know ur husband is a good man n also human, u normally stay away for two weeks and men are wired differently. Ask ur sister how many times he made an attempt on her. I'm sure it's just that one time. She didn't even tell u she ran to the village to tell ur mother. Nne.. wise up and put everyth behind u..im sure u r more concerned with what ur sister does for u at home than your husbands needs. Let ur sister stay back with ur mom, n bring the man's sister if he has one..and do ur exam fast n resume ur widely duties..otherwise next it won't be ur sister.na permanent side chic.

Nkem Helen said...

Hmmmm na wa oooh

Anonymous said...

She should wait in that marriage. In ten yrs, her husband would have impregnated their daughter. Then she would go through with the divorce. Silly people. Oh and don't forget it won't be his fault, he was tipsy afterall

Anonymous said...

Child that he is still gonna rape when he is drunk next time. Poster, keep your kids well away from your husband. His demons are brewing

ukwu dimond said...

Poster please take it easy, it has not come to the point of divorcing your husband, if what you said about him is the truth, then you should give him another chance but do not allow your younger sister to stay with you or even visit when you are not around. Men are dogs, find a place in your heart to forgive him, I know is not easy but for now stay calm and low. You both find a way to resolve issues together, if you divorce him now how do you intend to take care of your child, your self, your family? Stay with him, but save more should incase things go south again you can then pull out, by then you would have save enough and got a better life for your child, family and self.

Anonymous said...

This is complicated. Pray to God and both of you should go seek counseling and therapy. It is well with you.

Anonymous said...

Fransisca Chinedu leave my husband alone!!!! Stop indulging him

jelly said...

Poster you have to forgive him on this and watch him closely with others ladies and do not bring home any lady friend, sisters or maid since you have seen the first revelation about him no fit hold body for just 2wks of your absent.

Anonymous said...

Your daughters ain't safe with you either, if u are scared of molesting ur wife niece, then u are a potential rapist/abuser.

Anonymous said...

Madam why not look for a place around school and rent then then can ask your sister to come live with you, anytime you go home you stock the fridge with food for your husband at least he can be warming his food.
I'm married and am with a baby, I go to school with my baby and my husband help himself at home I make sure I go home most weekend to be with him and cook for him and by God's grace he has been helping me. It's not easy but before you know it you are through with your programme.

Anonymous said...

Madam why not look for a place around school and rent then then can ask your sister to come live with you, anytime you go home you stock the fridge with food for your husband at least he can be warming his food.
I'm married and am with a baby, I go to school with my baby and my husband help himself at home I make sure I go home most weekend to be with him and cook for him and by God's grace he has been helping me. It's not easy but before you know it you are through with your programme.

lizyyaminu said...

Dey have said it all...take der advice

Anonymous said...

Na you hold torch when he was "raping" others? He must have raped before (that's their trademark)...sounding very unintelligent

Anonymous said...

My own husband that has been cheating on me, bringing girls close to the house, that alone has not let me have sleep, am having serious headache, I can't sleep at night, I have called his mum she spoke to him but yet no solution, as things are now I can't concentrate on life anymore, when we got married I never knew he was a cheat cos I trusted him and I never snooped before wedding and after, I just recently snooped and find out he is a bloody cheat. The best option is to divorce him else I may run mad cos my brain has stopped thinking right. Constant headache for two months, MO sleep at night, lost appetite, nothing makes me happy anymore, I can't even look for something to make me happy, the more I see him, the more lies he tells me the more complicated my health becomes.

Doctors kept on saying the same thing madam you need to calm down, you need a lot of rest, you need to be happy else you may lose your mind, this man is not ready to change or even help me get better rather he keeps on doing worst things than ever. Do come here to say silly things, you saw the signs, no sign, I have been a supportive wife, beautiful, hard working, I pray but recently I can't pray cos I lost focus, wait until you are in my shoes before you can judge me, I need advice on how to go about getting a divorce, I want to be alive for my parents, marriage is not in heaven, I have a good job, I need the procedures please to file for a divorce before I lose my mind.

SANDY YO said...

No marriage is perfect true true but some men can be very stupid sha. Like why do they do that to sister of their wifey no matter? Kai!
I know of one ogbuefi man that has tried harrassing the three sisters of his wife sexually too and his house helps even. Lets not talk about the outsiders. That one no be dog person go call am ne.
The wife knows about all his escapades but will keep saying its his biz that shes going nowhere. They have four kids together.
All she does is tax the living hell out of the man cos he is in money and always look extremely gooooooood for herself.
Shes works for the government o and has a shop by the side where she sells...
Funny enough, the horseband dat does all these nonsense always accuses her of sleeping around due to how good she always looks o and prolly her I dont care attitude towards the whole thing but the woman will always smile it off and be like how she wishes she cheats sef, e for better. That she dosent just have that mind to cheat.
My worry is that the mumu man dosent give her one kinda disease someday sha.
This life though! Ana emenu!!!
So poster, try to reconsider and take it as one of those things cos I dont think divorce will be the best bet atm. Try to get something doing too asap and always try to look good for yourself jare.

Anonymous said...

Forgive him oh since you have no proof, we That still see messages and sign that our husband is cheating on us, we still forgive your own is that he was about to cheat on you with your sister and you want to divorce him. If you divorce him that your same mother will one day drive you out of her house, you better make your marriage work. Don't make your child hate you cos you too the child away from his father, no perfect marriage, no perfect man, if you divorce him and later want to marry how sure are you that the new guy will not cheat or do worse things? Your husband is a good man, look at his good side and help him over come his weakness na so marriage be fah.

GreatLady said...

Anon 16:00, God bless your brain. Madam, do all of the following that Anon listed.
The way you are talking about divorce, you think divorce is easy? are you ready for the after math of divorce?(psychology, emotional etc)
Since he has some good side, forgive him and make your relationships work again.
You all can still be happy again.

Anonymous said...

Poster,cultist from higher institutions are usually the coolest and well behaved,they are very pretentious ,you may not know your husby like you claim you do.Please your sister is more traumatized than you are right now,she needs help fast.I said this because I have walked a mile in her shoes before.I detest men so much that I got married as a virgin.I never trusted any till date.

McQ said...

He without sin cast the first stone, poster give ur husband a second chance.

Anonymous said...

You are just plain stupid, that's all. You don't need to comment, this shows you don't have anything upstairs.

Anonymous said...

Poster he is a man
He was drunk
And he z a man
N wen d d rises. They don't know sister o. They only know there mom n blood sisters.
Please forgive him
Probably Ur sis was also wearing seductive cloths unknowingly
Forgive him. Don't punish or Anytin. Just forgive n see him live U more. It's for better for worse my darlingπŸ’œ

Anonymous said...

Lolll @anon 16:04. You want to chain too. Na busu be that???? Lollll

Chameleon said...

Okay. Since you are so sure of your husband kindly paste his contact details here so fellow female bvs can help you test whether your juju is truly at work. #ipityanywomanthatcanvouch100%forherhusbandspipi #jujuornojuju

Chameleon said...

Okay. Since you are so sure of your husband kindly paste his contact details here so fellow female bvs can help you test whether your juju is truly at work. #ipityanywomanthatcanvouch100%forherhusbandspipi #jujuornojuju

Hadey Halaba said...

Poster and Lolo Ideato both digressed from the real issue to discuss something irrelevant.

What has being a "seadog" gat to do with your issue?

But to your chronicle, let me help reset your brain. He tried to have sex with her but didnt try to rape her.
He went "off key" but hey, he has apologized and promised never again will such happen.
Try to forgive and move on with your lives.

Hadey Halaba said...

Una never sabi queen and boss
Na spiritual chaining oooo

Tessbaby said...

This is by far d most immature comment from u. Being a Pirate =wealth? Plus something to b boastful of.


Madam 110k monthly is not too bad just try not to enlarge ur family when d salary is still at that. As 4 ur current situation pls go with Stella's advice. Men re bound to b tempted n Im glad it didnt happen nor did he continue to constantly molest her. Ur mum cant take care of u n ur child. Its easier to say Divorce him n cm bk home but wait till after 3months of living with them ull see d real side of life. Give ur man another chance.

Dre said...

Oh please! There are many men who'd never attempt to rape their in law even when drunk. It's NOT an excuse!

Anonymous said...

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

Village People said...

Your husband almost committed an abominable act,thank God he didn't succeed.Please don't divorce him,rather,make him apologise to your sister and beg your mom too.You have testified that he was a good man before you discovered this.Please for the sake of his past good deeds and your kid,don't break your marriage.

And you just had to bring PC(into it).Your husband is stupid really if you(his wife) think that the PC is a cult.The PC is not a cult but his stupidity did not allow him enlighten you more.Have you ever gone with him to any of their activities?Do you realise that if you had reported him there(PC),that he would have been called to order and sanctioned so that nothing like this ever happens again?If you ever loved this man(and can still try to love him again),the PC is your best bet to rein him in.Go report him any friday evening at his anchor point(AP)-at least you should know where that is or some of his friends who are members too.

People should not be quick in judging what they don't know.Please check www.nas-int.org for every information you need on the PC.They have not been in universities and other tertiary institutions since 1984 and ONLY graduates are even considered (after presenting their NYSC certificate).If you see a tout,university drop out or undergraduate parading himself as a PC member,please do well to report them to the nearest police station and the PC will take it up from there.

Have you heard or seen PC members involved in any cult war?No!This is because they are not a cult and don't operate at such levels too.

God bless us all

Anonymous said...

4give ur husband, yes wht he did was wrong. But he deserve a second chance.

Tessbaby said...

Well said anon 16:00

Anonymous said...

15:25 See the reasoning of a child lolll.

So she won't bring any female to the house, can't he go outside and fuck when he wants to?

A grown man could not control his lust but wanted to fuck his sister in law.

Loll,poster, if you like don't bring any females,when he is horny he will fuck your daughter and buy her biscuits and caprisonne and tell her not to tell anybody. That time Shame will not allow this poster to make 'pim'.

That's why Nigerian woman rarely amount to much in their careers if they even bother to have careers.

99% of their energy is spent on trying to curtail the excesses of their men,they are either looking for pigeon, trying to find out who he is sleeping with so they can warn the woman (women),waking up at midnight to pray for 4 hours for God to touch their husband so that he will stop cheating, doing dry fasting 6am to 6pm for God to stop husband from cheating, buying all manners of drugs to tighten vagina when the horseband has 3 inch prick that is dipped into every available hole, loosing sleep, giving up opportunities, denying yourself opportunities to advance in your work place because you don't want to rise faster than your husband etcetera.

Which Nigerian man has ever on the history of the earth woken up at night to pray solely for his marriage?????? Lollll

Nigerian woman I hail you o, don't worry dey will do owambe with correct aso ebi in Heaven for your good work. You hear??

Anonymous said...

Madam poster this isn't only about you!!!!!!!

All you care about is your marriage.

What about your sister who was raped?

Has she gone for counselling?

You brought her back to your house to face her rapist daily? Free househelp abi?

If you were raped, would you like to live with your rapist and eat from the same plate daily?

You are a selfish sick person who deserves your sick husband.

Spanish Lantern said...

Sleep with is an understatement, the guy tried to rape her 19yr old sister. Animalistic behavior. No woman should vouch for any man in this fidelity thing. If you think you've got a good man. ThankGOD in your closet. But you can't divorce him over this. Marriage is not a joke. At least now you know you can't beat any parts of your body for him. Be wise.

Anonymous said...

Madam dont divorce him. Your mother doesnt wish you well, won fe so e di da bi n se da.

That said.

You need to correct your silly or shall i say stupid actions.

You said your husband is a PIRATE, yet you brought in your younger sister. Even PRIMATES, BISHOPs and PASTORs cant be trusted with such young bloods.

Despite the fact that my wife knows I d never cheat on her with her sisters, or nieces, she has repeatedly turned down requests to come stay with us,mbok not even for 2 days.

A man will always be a man, law of proximity is one of our many downfalls. Reminds me of my NYSC days maybe I ll send in my NYSC gist one day. Got there day one and all the girls looked so ugly and uninviting in my eyes. Men and brethren, a week and some days after, Konji set in and I had to make do with one of the girls. Infact we took a picture together in camp. I came home and I was like, you mean I slept with this girl???....Point is , you were away...konji set in and he began to see things in your sister....

So, forgive him. Try as much as possible not to lead him into temptation by bringing home your sister or friend.

Spanish Lantern said...

Don't mind him. If only alcohol could talk it would say a lot of it wasn't me.

Anonymous said...

Something similar happened to me, my fiancΓ©'s elder brother almost raped me. I still can't explain how I escaped. The stupid idiot told my fiancΓ© that it was consensual! FiancΓ© has refused to talk to me for over a month now. FiancΓ© is acting like he believes the brother. I don't blame him. I know God will surely judge!

Fan Emmanuel said...

I wonder ooo. When I was 18 or so, my elder sister traveled for NYSC orientation camp leaving behind her 7months old baby, the husband begged my Mum to allow me come stay in his house and take care of the little child,that he can't stay far from that baby, my Mum vehemently refused and told him it's either he bring the child to our house or nothing.. This is a man we know as a good man and he's equally an elder in the church but my mother refused.
Poster you should have taken your baby and your sister to school (hoping you live off campus). I can't give devil a chance in my family. Never!
Thank God nothing happened sha but let your husband shamelessly go and beg your Mum and kid sister ooo, telling them that he saw his wife's picture in her face and acted under the influence of alcohol. Nawaoo

Fan Emmanuel said...

Hahahahaha

Dre said...

You may be advised and thus inclined to forgive him and take him back but know that beneath this action lies a man with disturbed character. Your husband lacks morals, empathy and respect for his family.
To me, nothing can justify a man attempting to rape his own sister (yes we can call her that) left in his care and instead of taking responsibility blames it on alcohol.
I know most women here will advise you to forgive him because marriage is their life so I'm not surprised.
I also won't advise you to divorce because... well this is life and shit happens! However, I'd say you need to send a very strong message to him to show that his actions are utterly UNACCEPTABLE! I don't think you've done that yet because this happened since 3 weeks now and you're still under the same roof with him.
The message he's likely getting is this isn't a huge deal so what'll stop him from defiling your daughter in future??
I also think you must reach out to your sister with a senior family member and counsel her for the trauma and embarrassment your husband put her through. It seems you're more interested in yourself and your marriage.
There are key issues to be resolved here but in all you do, remember that how you handle them will determine whether your marriage survives and thrives.

Anonymous said...

My sister husband once try nonsense withe whenI went to stay with them to nurse their new born baby and he later accused me of sleeping with his bro and I was a virgin at the time. I never told my sister because she later notice because I stopped feeling free on the presence of the silly man. So I agree with sex daddy last statement

Weed Chic said...

Don't divorce him. Forgive him but be alert. He could be secretly cheating. And it's very likely he wasn't tipsy thst night. Don't bring your sis back to your home

Dre said...

Even if it was the alcohol, should a responsible man be coming home drunk? Especially when he has young children around the house?? Women let's have some standards for our men please.

Anonymous said...

I know that the basis of this advice and similar advice is the fear of being single? Nigerian women why are you people so afraid of being single? Is it a death sentence? I shake my head for una. That's why you will keep eating shit in your marriages.

Anonymous said...

I completely agree. This man and his type do rarely change. It will be one heartbreaking thing after another. Poster get ready for a roller-coaster marriage with him.

Anonymous said...

16:23 I know you are serious, but the way you put it, you just made me fall off my chair lmao!

ola wealth said...

So???

She should pack out abi?
And divorce..

Good one.

ola wealth said...

Goat and yam..
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
You made me laugh my chest out

Anonymous said...

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

Dberrys said...

Madam chill

Anonymous said...

Men are not dogs. I know some quality men out there.

Anonymous said...

Exactly! Both the yeas and the nays have made sense. Poster may God give you direction. He alone knows what truly lies in the heart of man.

Anonymous said...

This really saddened me. But why are some men like this?

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm, spoken like a true PC...

sholetoga said...

Poster.......I would suggest you have a heart to heart talk with your hubby about how he feels about what happened. Make him apologise to your sister and promise you it wouldn't happen again.
Please, don't divorce him because of this. Let him have his second chance to proof his loyalty....

Anonymous said...

Some men always looking for excuses. The men who live in the midst of women and relate well with them without problems do they have two heads? Self control is key for any man that will be great in life.

Anonymous said...

Dog keeper, keep chaining. Keep dinning with Satan and going to church to deceive yourself. Keep corrupting gullible women and making souls for Satan and his kingdom of darkness.

Anonymous said...

Babe shouldn't you run from such a family? Just saying...

Anonymous said...

Let me start by commending your sister for the maturity she displayed. She handled it so well. If she had told you I guess you wouldn't have believed her. And probably call her a liar and wants to ruin your marriage. But she deserves an apology from your husband as part of the condition in saving what is left of your marriage. Your husband is an animal with no shame cause he even attempted blaming it on the alcohol. He knew and plan exactly what he wanted to do. Now that you know he is not to be trusted with a female including his daughter if you decide to forgive him and probably have a daughter he is NOT to be trusted. Divorce is an option but not the answer. There is a sign of hope cause when you confronted him he confessed so don't ridicule him further by telling everyone that cares to listen. I will advice a few family members preferably your parents and his and a pastor sit and trash it out then bring in your sister for him to tender an unreserved apology. And ask for her forgiveness. Ask don't bring in any female help into your home except the elderly type that will come in the morning and leave in the evening.
Go for counseling and ensure you make him realize how embarrassing what he did even to you. Don't torture or use this as excuse to insult him and kill his ego if you don't want to create a monster.
Counselling will answer a lot of questions for you and also give him another chance to make things right. If you don't see signs that he wants to change then I will advice you walk away. Don't try and complicate things by getting pregnant. It will only mess up your healing process.And complicate things the more.
Hope your husband is able to learn from his mistakes and be a better man.

Aproko said...

Hello advisers!!! Before you give ur advice remember that the hubby tried to RAPE her sister please. Try to think if the same happened to u what will u do? If someone tried to rape ur sister would you forgive them, not to talk of ur own husband. What is marriage if u can think of RAPING my own sister? Marriage is not a do or die o. Anyone that can do that can kill.

Anonymous said...

So if she has "my own money" her husband will no longer rape or attempt rape? And how will her own money heal her wounds?
Is that what the Reverend "father' teach you in church; to have your own money?

Sabali said...

I cringe when married women are not wise.You have a baby and you are going to school.Why not carry your baby along and tell you husband to give you money for creche.Which normal thinking wife will leave a young blossoming girl even for a pope?.Please I know it is hard and it might not be the same but I feel divorce is too extreme.Give him another chance and if he screws up then you have no option.I have a nanny that comes around 8am and lives around six she can never met my husband except on Saturday which I am at home. I know someone will say what of what he does outside my dear I don't care but let no one disrespect me in my own home that one will be one big bitter pill and trust me don't know if I can swallow it. God will salvage your union.

Tessbaby said...

Dre u dont set a standard for a grown man. He is responsible for who he is n u re responsible for what u accept.


Athiest well said.


Poster nor see part time do? U left ur home 4 ur 19year old sister in dis age of many evil vices n u expect d angel u left at home is a monk huh? How old is ur baby that u left in d hands of ateen? Madam share in d blame.

N that your, after d incident didnt immediately pick up her phone in shock to call u nor did she tell u anything when u asked. Oriegwu in Linda's voice.

Anonymous said...

Rushed ke? D way u bvs reason dey taya me.. So she dated him for 4yrs and only rushed him when they were planning to get married?

Brandedme said...

Poster watch him
If he feels remorse forgive him
If not, help urself

Anonymous said...

So if she did not have sex with her husband before marriage he won't try to rape d sis in-law? Ana akogheri.

SWAG LAFRESH said...

The only ish I see here is the strain this will bring to your family.

Don't divorce him please. Work on your marriage.

Anonymous said...

Anon 16:01 there is I IN MARRIAGE .you new school people people always treating marriage like it's a degree my parents have been married for yearsssssss! My moms money is hers while my dads money is ours. They joke about it from time to time but it's the way it is. They understand each other they love & respect one another, they are happy and so are we the children

Anonymous said...

Even my papa wey be ashawo man never tried dat with all my mum's sisters dat lived with us while growing up.. he never dared..

Anonymous said...

So bcos she dressed on her nightgown with no bra on,it gave him d right to rape her??

So if his daughter dresses dat way in d future he will still rape her?

Anonymous said...

Be there asking how to divorce him.. are u a child? Why don't u move out of the house first before divorce.. one day d high BP will kill u and he will marry one of his side chics.

Anonymous said...

Report ke? D deed had been done. It won't change d fact that he tried to rape his sister in-law. Melecine after death.

STARRY LARRY said...

God bless you Fan Emmanuel, I've said it times without number, my female younger siblings can't stay with me, thank God I don't have female siblings and any other outsiders not allowed in my home. That's my belief and nobody can change it




*Larry was here*

Anonymous said...

Did you knack pigeon on his head.

Fan Emmanuel said...

Bless you too @Larry

Anonymous said...

Forgive but marriage is over

Who'sThatGirl Doubleuteegee said...

Anon 16:23 cant you comprehend that the only reason she even wants to continue dealing with the man after his ugly attempt is because she doesnt have HER OWN money to fend for herself and child if she decides to walk away? So how is 'money issue' not involved here. If she's financially free she would be able to getaway from the potential rapist. Sit your laZy ass there and be our money without bringing anything financially and get stuck in situations like these where you cant breathe without your man or have no choice than to deal with whatrver trash thrown your way.
The other short sighted annon yes if she's financially dependent she can decide to take her self away from a rapist environment thereby protectinh herself, her familymembers and her female children from futher attempts. So you have to be taught to be financially dependent? The brain God gave you is nonfunctional? Should we blame Buhari for the way some Nigerian women reason hian. Both anon sense fall on you!

Anonymous said...

Poster pls follow everything on the anon List. May I add number 5

5. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT bring any of your sisters older or younger for an overnight stay. Also refrain from Female Maids. Since you know your hubby has this tendency just don't bring any of it to your home going forward. This has always been my motto.. my sister and I look alike, very pretty younger version of me. As much as I trust and love my husband I will never bring temptation close to him. And when she is around I never leave them alone.. God forbid stories that touch the heart arises

Anonymous said...

To say I'm very disssppointed in Stella's advice and some of these comments is an understatement. Anon 15:13, God bless you! Anon 16:00, this isn't just an indiscretion. Rape is a crime along with attempted rape. And got your husband to try to rape your OWN little sister..... I'm just short of words. If that girl hadn't fought him enough that night (assuming he didn't get to certain levels like touching her down there etc because I can't even imagine the poor girl would have endured for those hours. It's also not unusual for rape victims to claim that "it almost happened but I fought" instead of "I tried my best to fight him off but he still raped me". That girl could have been raped that night but too ashamed or even traumatized to admit it to herself.) the man would have denied flatout out and painted a nasty picture of the poor girl if she outrightly came out to say he raped her. Imagine this whole thing can mess up the girl's future. So, you guys are saying if a man, friend/stranger/acquaintance/family member etc should come at you with a knife trying to kill you for whatever reason; jealousy/greed etc but you tirelessly fought and resisted until you fought him off. Will you say you want to forgive him and move on because he didn't succeed in killing you? If this man ends up raping a niehgbors child or even his own child now, you people will blame the wife saying she already knew he had the tendencies, why stay? etc...... Just Me

Anonymous said...

Anon 15:14, just like a typical backward Nigerian; go ahead and blame the wife for the man's evil. She might keep her sister away but what about the children she'll be rearing with him? How do you propose she protect them? When you catch a rapist and ignore him only to lambast and blame everyone else around him and then ask everyone to cover him up by staying with him, keeping the "blabbermouth" sister away and continue to build a family with him. Hmmmm. No wonder nigeria is so full of evil criminals. The men never pay for their atrocities, instead the wives are blamed one way or the other and then encouraged/scared into condoning it. Lord have mercy!!

Anonymous said...

let us do a case reversal for starters
assume that a man Sent in this chronicle
that his wife who has been so virtuous since they married took an alcoholic drink and attempted raping his brother while he travelled on an official trip
and he thereafter reported to his father who asked him to divorce her but when he confronted her she was sober apologised and blamed It on the alcohol and went ahead to say you know am a woman and very sexy at that If I wanted to do it I would have but it's the alcohol. will you still give this same advice ye all are giving now .A 2nd chance? pls let's not be hypocrites .
I personally can't stand two things in marriage violence of any form and sexual indiscretion in whatever form it may come .he attempted sleeping with her blood sister for goodness sake
for how Long will she continue to babysit an adult ,many say always be available ,don't bring in female helps ,relatives ,friends into your home ,did she marry a dog or responsible adult who is suppose to have self control and discipline
for how Long will she be a monitoring spirit :all the days of her life? I bet she will never be happy ,how many men will you give this same advice when their woman err with a male relative
Pls most of us need to think deeply before just giving advice .
poster you need to help your sister
she is traumatized and need counselling
and are you sure the act didn't happen ?
it's funny thinking they struggled for 5 good hours ,yes you are traumatized but your sister needs to be helped
see its your choice to either go back to him or not but then I want you to know that marriage will never be the same
and keep in mind he might attempt to rape or rape your daughter too and just blame it on alcohol.staying with a potential or actual rapist is disheartening and marriage shouldn't be a do or die affair for any.

Anonymous said...

let us do a case reversal for starters
assume that a man Sent in this chronicle
that his wife who has been so virtuous since they married took an alcoholic drink and attempted raping his brother while he travelled on an official trip
and he thereafter reported to his father who asked him to divorce her but when he confronted her she was sober apologised and blamed It on the alcohol and went ahead to say you know am a woman and very sexy at that If I wanted to do it I would have but it's the alcohol. will you still give this same advice ye all are giving now .A 2nd chance? pls let's not be hypocrites .
I personally can't stand two things in marriage violence of any form and sexual indiscretion in whatever form it may come .he attempted sleeping with her blood sister for goodness sake
for how Long will she continue to babysit an adult ,many say always be available ,don't bring in female helps ,relatives ,friends into your home ,did she marry a dog or responsible adult who is suppose to have self control and discipline
for how Long will she be a monitoring spirit :all the days of her life? I bet she will never be happy ,how many men will you give this same advice when their woman err with a male relative
Pls most of us need to think deeply before just giving advice .
poster you need to help your sister
she is traumatized and need counselling
and are you sure the act didn't happen ?
it's funny thinking they struggled for 5 good hours ,yes you are traumatized but your sister needs to be helped
see its your choice to either go back to him or not but then I want you to know that marriage will never be the same
and keep in mind he might attempt to rape or rape your daughter too and just blame it on alcohol.staying with a potential or actual rapist is disheartening and marriage shouldn't be a do or die affair for any.

Teebaybeh said...

You are a wise man πŸ‘πŸ‘ 😘

Beauty said...

let us do a case reversal for starters
assume that a man Sent in this chronicle
that his wife who has been so virtuous since they married took an alcoholic drink and attempted raping his brother while he travelled on an official trip
and he thereafter reported to his father who asked him to divorce her but when he confronted her she was sober apologised and blamed It on the alcohol and went ahead to say you know am a woman and very sexy at that If I wanted to do it I would have but it's the alcohol. will you still give this same advice ye all are giving now .A 2nd chance? pls let's not be hypocrites .
I personally can't stand two things in marriage violence of any form and sexual indiscretion in whatever form it may come .he attempted sleeping with her blood sister for goodness sake
for how Long will she continue to babysit an adult ,many say always be available ,don't bring in female helps ,relatives ,friends into your home ,did she marry a dog or responsible adult who is suppose to have self control and discipline
for how Long will she be a monitoring spirit :all the days of her life? I bet she will never be happy ,how many men will you give this same advice when their woman err with a male relative
Pls most of us need to think deeply before just giving advice .
poster you need to help your sister
she is traumatized and need counselling
and are you sure the act didn't happen ?
it's funny thinking they struggled for 5 good hours ,yes you are traumatized but your sister needs to be helped
see its your choice to either go back to him or not but then I want you to know that marriage will never be the same
and keep in mind he might attempt to rape or rape your daughter too and just blame it on alcohol.staying with a potential or actual rapist is disheartening and marriage shouldn't be a do or die affair for any.

Anonymous said...

God bless u anon. Naija women don't aspire to be anything other than b a 'wife'. No wonder most of them are in 'bondage' but use 'marriage' to define it. Sometimes I don't feel sorry 4 them when they come & start narrating their sob stories on how their husband treats them like trash. Just take a look at this poster, deep down she knows the marriage is over, but because of finances, she wants to consider staying, forgetting that people hardly change, once a rapist, always a rapist. I fear for her daughters in the future.

Anonymous said...

Atheist is on point! Such uncommon wisdom

Kate

Bibire said...

If it was the woman that tried rapping her brother in law,will you guys have said forgive???Your spouse(male or female)should see their in laws as their sibling especially if they are younger.Madam,good luck with whatever decision you take

Bibire said...

@Sabali,because she's married,she can't have a life outside marriage???Women keep making excuse for their cheating husbands.In a developed country,he would have been charged with attempted rape.And those of you saying why bring a girl to your house😳😳😳. I'm disappointed in Nigerian women.What is the essence of marriage if there is no trust?????You can't bring your female relatives home bcos you are married to dog??Madam whose husband is cheating,you want to kill yourself bcos of a useless low life who doesn't respect you?If you die,will your parents recover from the loss?give ur self brain

sholetoga said...

Lolo Ideato you is a case mehn.......lol.

Jasmine said...

Don't divorce him
He should go and apologize to your mother and sister

Jasmine said...

Fan. You r smart

Anonymous said...

Anon 21:05, u can only judge based on the facts that have been made known. If the sis says 'he TRIED to rape me' then that is what it is. If not she should say exactly what went down. Also, forgiving the husband doesn't mean that if the lady's family wants, they cannot report him to the police. So what's the point of divorcing the hubby, yet the hubby is not paying for his crime. Instead of the mum saying 'divorce' she should instead report to the police

Utuocha said...

Imagine what you wrote. Not a single thought for the young girl that was almost raped.A man that tried to sleep with his sister (Yes she is his sister) has already belittled himself and no amount of "affirming" and "reaffirming" can help him. What will Jesus do in this situation? He will throw the man his sin and ask him to go and ask for mercy from those he hurt.

Utuocha said...

What nonsense! So he would rape his own daughter cos she was playing around in diapers? There are lots of naked mad women on streets why haven't he rushed any of them in his drunken stupor? Naija women, I hail una

Utuocha said...

Gbam!

Anonymous said...

Gather your evidence. Contact a good lawyer. Gather your money, anything from 200k- 500k. Your lawyer will do the rest

Anonymous said...

There is a missing link in this story. Why didn't the sister tell her all the while even when she asked? Why is the mum the one crying and demanding divorce? There is a possibility that you have been set up. Pray for wisdom and God's guidance before taking any decision. Read between the lines.

Sabali said...

@Bibire what are you even saying read to understand my view is not too hard okay which one is she won't have a life after marriage.Clearly see my point and stop being myopic.You can keep your husband with a stripper cause you trust him so well read your Bible and understand the meaning of flea from temptation.

Bibire said...

@sabali,I am not being myopic.Flee from temptation doesn't mean don't bring family into your home,If your younger sister can't visit you because you are married to a dog,then he is the temptation you should be fleeing from.A man tried to rape his inlaw who he should see as sibling and you are telling her she's not wise😳😳😳.If she was the one who tried to rape her in law,will you say the husband is not wise?Self control,respect for spouse and family is what he lacks.My husband won't rape his inlaw,sibling or house help nor a stripper because he knows the value of family.Keep treating a man like a child bcos of temptation,while you are at it,teach your sons morals

Dukestar said...

You can divorce him if you have the balls,it's called choice and you live with it.Hopefully you'll find an angel if you still want to marry.
The man has apologized for goodness sake,what else do you guys want him to do?
You may not know the kind of crazy things that go on in a lot of places and people prayerfully get through the imperfections.
In any case,divorce him if that will help your sanity.wish you good luck.that is if the story is even true in the first instance.

Sabali said...

@Bibire I think I am enjoying this back and forth.Did I say your sister in law cannot visit your home or a female relative? I said I won't leave my home and leave someone in charge of it because my husband is patron saint of chastity.I am only saying in as much as men are weak in flesh don't create room for such to occur. If the lady was home will he try to molest her in her presence.Wisdom is profitable to direct wonder why of all the comments is mine that you had to pick on.

Anonymous said...

@ Utuocha...did you read my entire post or you're just in a haste to comment? What would Jesus do, you asked? He'll actually forgive and encourage him to do right next time but guess what, we ain't God & that's why this is playing out on social media. Man must atone for his transgressions and tender unreserved apologies to the girl. However, that doesn't give the justification to disrespect him because she'll be disrespecting her sister as well & that's why I said "reaffirm" her husband's position as head of the family.

Anonymous said...

Anon 02:23, that was besides the point. I mentioned that because it is a possibility but rape isn't the only thing that can traumatize a young mind or even any mind at all, attempted rape also can. According to the story, this girl fought him off from 11pm till 4am! Attempted rape is still a crime, especially when it became "attempted" not because he didn't want to rape her but because she tirelessly fought him off. And he only confessed after her got ousted. Now you still haven't answered my question, let me rephrase it in another form for you; if your business partner who is also a family member one day jumps at you with a knife while you're both alone somewhere and tries to kill you. You battle it out for the next 5 hours and eventually successfully fight him off. Will you then continue doing business with him because "at least, he only attempted to kill you but he didn't actually kill you"? Is that what you're saying? And according to your logic, will you report him to the police but still continue doing business with him? Does that make any sense to you? How can you tell someone to stay with her husband but then her family can get him arrested too? What kind of warped logic is that? Oh! So she can continue running around for him and doing all his bidding while he's in trouble. Right? I'm getting you now. Just say you want to protect a rapist and give up on all these excuses, they're not adding up or making sense. Sorry I sound hot under the collar about this, I just don't do biddings for nasty men and rapists........ Just Me

Anonymous said...

Anon 16:19, I have just one question for you. Will this advice also apply if a husband travels and leaves his younger brother at home with his wife who then tirelessly tries to sleep with him? Will you be giving all this lopsided balderdash?

Anonymous said...

God bless you for this!! Exactly what I've been saying! Her sister was most likely raped that night and her own daughters are not safe with her husband. The test is up to her.... Just Me

Anonymous said...

Simple. Because Nigerian wives always blame the victims, accusing them of trying to ruin their marriage whenever their husbands attempt to or rape someone. Also, the girl might have been raped and still dealing with the shock and trauma herself. She might also be worried for her elder sister and so didn't know how to tell her but waited until she could tell their mother. Thier mother also might have downplayed what happened to lessen the shock/disappointment and trauma for her elder daughter, hence the advice to divorce him. No mother would give such extreme advice to her daughter about a good husband if something grave hasn't taken place already. God forbid he's even suspected of having potentials toward his own daughter but nobody knows how to tell his wife yet.

Ribenna baby said...

1000 likes

Anonymous said...

Manage him, abeg. Ppl have managed worse things. Take the 'tipsy' excuse, the fact that it didn't happen, first offense, the apology and remorse. Ppl make mistakes. Just pray God to help you overcome and pray for him too, while moving on.

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