Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Washing Dishes On A First Time Visit To In laws

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Saturday, 8 July 2017

Washing Dishes On A First Time Visit To In laws

This is currently hot as discussion on Twitter.....So I figured we could also discuss it here,huh?





Is it right or wrong for a MALE visitor (fiancé) to take his plates to the kitchen after eating on his first visit to his girlfriend's/fiancée's house
?
*Nothng wrong with taking it to the Kitchen or even washing it abeg!..Please note that my mentality is different and I see nothing wrong in this...you might!

108 comments:

Miss Ess said...

Nothing wrong in taking it to the kitchen maybe cause am busy with stuffs, but I won't allow him wash it.

I am king EZE said...

First time visit? How will I know my way to the kitchen. Let me vacuum the whole sitting room join, isokuso.

Cookie said...

How will he know the way to the kitchen if it's his first visit??

It's not wrong if he does or doesn't.......

Ammie said...

Why should a visitor take his/her plates back to the kitchen after eating ...whether he's my fiancé or not (especially when it's your first visit to my place)
I won't allow my fiancé do that...I'll serve you and take the plates back to the kitchen myself
Well I don't know about it being right or wrong...I just don't let me visitors do that , whether male or female
Unless the visitor is a regular one, then I would even let you dish your own food from the kitchen.

Olivia Silk said...

This has been trending since this morning.

I understand that the guy didn't know the way to the kitchen but at least he could have TRIED to know.
Carry the plates,stand up and try to walk towards the way the food came the came in.
That signal to come carry the plates only showed the type of man he is.
Oga that they serve and wash legs for.

But then again, he could have just been shy or something. The girl knows the kiND of man he is , I believe.

I imagined severally how he did the signal aND all pictures came out wrong.

But my main question is, you girls that introduce your boyfriends to your parents, how do you do it?

Chike TEFLON said...

Stella nwanyi oma na see finish be that.
Me no go ever do am... Lai Lai, say wetin happen.

Anonymous said...

Let us assume that this male is not a "suitor" just a visitor
Will he be expected to take his plates to the kitchen?
Are all these the thing he must do to marry the girl; part of the bride price now includes "forced labor?"

Anonymous said...

When you can fuck on first date and even get pregnant.. Then, what's the biggie IN washing dishes?



@Anonymous Orubebe

Mrs.R SDK blog Official BFF said...

I don't see anything wrong in taking the plates you use to eat to the kitchen and also wash it!

If you're visiting your partner for the first time (especially, if the said partner still lives with his or her parents) and you were entertained with food, you should be able to remove your plate. It's not that difficult to ask for the way to the kitchen since you are a stranger in the house.


edie said...

kia Stella no matter how u say ur mentality is diff wen u come back to d country/village auto reset happens joor.
as for d dish carrying we all no in Africa even ur relative Wre b visitor for d first day no go even try am talk more of fiancee. nah for there ur trial just begin. oga no try

Anonymous said...

There is nothing wrong with it...Will even Signal him to take his plate to the kitchen...Waiting for that Nigerian woman who will write about how to make kids or themselves happy..All u women write about is how to make a man happy...

Anonymous said...

It depends on how close he is to this family
If they are so close and he can interact very well, there is no issues about it.
But I guess many girls especially the bride to be will not like this
Girls like their family members to treat their husbands with respect and this might well erode it.
Now let's flip the coin
If a lady; of course, the mother in law will be eyeing her to see how "well brought up" she is
That is the African way for you.

Anonymous said...

A man that wants to marry a woman he loves should do "everything" they demand or expect as long as it is not sin, and not crime.

Anonymous said...

Please I beg this is 2017, no one waits hand and foot for no one anymore (at least the wise ones). If you cannot clear or wash your plate, then don't eat. Someone sweat over the stove cooking. Nonsense!I

Chike TEFLON said...

When I read the story all I said is "it is either the girl has another boo or her village people are seriously working on her destiny"

Or maybe the girl is taking about washing the plate down there... Lol 🙊🙊🏃🏃🏃

Anonymous said...

I see nothing wrong at all!

Madam Small Chops said...

Hahahaha , he is a visitor ni.I find it strange moving around peoples home on first visit except the owner of the house calls me to a particular part of the house other than my sitting position.

I won't let my female visitor do dishes talk more of my male visitor.Its his first visit na, not like he is used to the house.

Na wa ooo.

Anonymous said...

Does washing plates I used to eat affect my bank account on earth or in heaven?
I love the girl and want to marry her, if washing plates will impress them and make the road shorter so be it.
But the issue be say, whether I go de was am every time we visit that house as married couple.
Well, after elections campaign stops.
You no de see politrictians, as 2019 de reach, all of dem don de chop okpa for road side.

Anonymous said...

Forget this wash plates or no wash plates
For most families in this hard times, if the man has money; no matter how he made it
they don't care if he "sh*ts" in their sitting room after eating

Ed said...

There's nothing wrong in it o...

Yewande Tegbe said...

Homes are different.In my home, my folks won't allow him take his plate to the kitchen o. He's a guest and will be treated as one.

STARRY LARRY said...

To me it's not right, the lady should be ready to pack this plates as soon as he's done




*Larry was here*

Anonymous said...

When I was in final year in university, the girls had only two groups of men they respected irrespective of their ages;
1. Those from "abroad" with either EU OR US passports/green cards
2. Those that ride SUVs (erroneously thought to have money)
Almost all the classmates weddings that took place in my and sophomore and final years were in either of these categories.
About a decade down the line, most of these marriages have suffered two fates:
1. Either scattered
2. The girls haven't joined them "abroad"

Anonymous said...

Enter your comment... Yes it is right for a guy to tidy up after eating out at his in laws to be, it shows proper upbringing and etiquette which 90% of Nigerians lack because probably of their cultural backgrounds or educated illiteracy.

Anonymous said...

No be boyfriend go become fiance and later become husband some day... No two ways about it.. Just say mum/dad meet my friend.. .let mum and dad ask you further, like what type of friend? Then, they have opened the door for discussion


@Anonymous Orubebe

Anonymous said...

The way I was brought up, I cannot see you cooking for me and still remain seated. I will stand up and ask how I can assist you.
Also, after eating I will stand up and carry ALL plates to the kitchen and wash. It's you the host that will now refuse to let me do these things, but ne doing them is because of good home training. I do these in my friends' house whenever I go to visit. All the time. So I guess it's part of me.

Anonymous said...

Enter your reply...MRS ROMA. You are 1004 % on point. I always enjoy your comments. You are a real lady and good mum. God bless you.

Pipi Lee said...

I wonder o.
Is there GPS to help him navigate, yea yea, we know the dining room is adjacent to the kitchen in most home setting, I just feel it is rude to enter a woman's(not your mum, gf or wife) kitchen just like that.

Iya Oshoronga of Blogosphere said...

If they don't have maids in your in-laws house then its ok to wash your plates but in a home where it is not expected (e.g my in laws place),then you are free. Most of what people do to impress their in-laws is just pure 'abosi' which they cannot sustain in the long run. Some girls will practically wash their mother in law's undies just to be seen as a good 'wife'. God forbid. It is the way you present yourself to them that they will take you.

Anonymous said...

Now I work with influential people and even among them, you see all the prominent ones carrying their plates to the kitchen table after eating. Now, when this can be achieved is when it's an informal kind of party. It's no big deal whether fiance or whoever eats and takes his plates to the sink or kitchen. We Africans read so much meaning into things that the western regard as normal. Oyibo will even ask to assist in doing so. One washing and the other drying. It doesn't remove anything from my body. My account is still growing. If I even see any guy wey de even do so, I go tuale for am. Im mama born am well.

LAGOSFINEST 007 said...

Nothing wrong,what are friends for.

Even my hubby sometimes clears the table and does the dishes after we eat.

prisca ojemede said...

Funny u

Iphie dearie said...

😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

Cookie said...

Tried to know what?? Are you serious right now???

Wow!!!!

EDWIN edDREAMZ CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...

Am a visitor and that is my first time in that house, see please fuck your parent and i will be happy to abort any thing relationship with you.....

Martins Aboy said...

Why make a mountain out of a molehill??

I dont know about others,but im not the type that sees any housechore as anything right from time..

I love my fiancee abi?? Yea! Then if washing the plate i used in eating will make the journey towards marriage with her easier;whats the bone of contention then??

I dont know why unnecessary things can just be troubling most people..
Is it pride? Or does doing it make you a lesser human?? Or perhaps tarnish your respect??

Washing a plate you used in eating irrespective of your status means absolutely nothing to me...
No be my mouth?? No be me chop food?? Ahhh!!

Most families wont allow you do that even when you willingly want to bydway;and my family is one..but every other family cant be like mine,and that is what life is all about..

Everything is based on individual differences and understanding;and i can personally do anything for a lady i love(SO LONG AS SHE APPRECIATES)..

Yea the caps above matters!!!

But finally,the best your fiancee can do at that point is tell you "sweet-heart NO NO NO! I will take the dish to the kitchen and wash it up".... Case closed and everyone continues with the conversation at hand!!

I no get strenght for unnecessary talk at any point(hehe) and a matured Adult should know what to do at the right place,and that is where my fiancee should apply wisdom...
Cos my inlaws would see it as "Aaww,he wanted to even wash the plate he used in eating".such a homely man Blah blah blah!! #wink

@MARTINS ABOY

St.FranKooL.... said...

#You're giving the worst promises when you're happy, the worst replies when you're angry, and the worst choices when you're sad*

AdeEsther (need quick loan? Call 09087090732) said...

To me its not wrong if he feels like doing it plus if he's a free person that quickly get along . But as a female, I won't allow him clear the table himself though

Anonymous said...

He should make an attempt like trying to stand up with the plates in his hand and then girl or in laws would be like oh no don't worry. But the keyword is ATTEMPT!

ola wealth said...

KingEze😂😂

But before you ate the food, you knew where/ the direction the food came from...

ola wealth said...

Cookie.. He probably should know de direction where d food came from

ola wealth said...

Lolxxcc.

You are funny ehn

mulika said...

Epic response@anonymous....well said.....Thumbs up!!!

Chike TEFLON said...

Female BVs did you people say that there is nothing wrong in it? What a wawuuuuu!!!

The same female BVs that will say don't cook, wash plate, sweep house and wash cloth for your boyfriend/fiance ( some will even say that they will never wash their husband's clothes) are the people using that same mouth/finger to say/type that there is nothing wrong in this issue... Ewoo!!! Chim ooo!!! *mouth hanging open *

OK oooo, issorite.

Mrs.R SDK blog Official BFF said...

Thanks anonymous! God bless you too.

ola wealth said...

Lolz...

Chike TEFLON said...

I'm king EZE God bless you... I can cook and wash the plate for you in my house but for your papa house, even if na the 20th visit I will never do it...

Chike TEFLON said...

You get sense Nwa oma. That's why I call you Cookie darling... Lol

Chike TEFLON said...

God bless you Pipi Lee aka Medusa

Anonymous said...

Lol. I feel you dear.

Chike TEFLON said...

God bless you

lizyyaminu said...

See almost 90percent of the male are saying der is nothing wrong.. hw can fiance visit ur family fr d first time and after eating u xpect him to cary d plate to ur mums kitchen not even urs?abeg stop ass licking and tel urself d truth. Rember it says first meeting ooo haba

Anonymous said...

Dont mind the useless women in this blog. Them too get mouth. 99 percent of them dont practise what they preach here. Including stella sef.

Greatlady. said...

As the Prince Charming that you is nau... 😂😂😂

lizyyaminu said...

My husband didnt cary his plate to d kicthen wen he visited d first day but he cooks bath d kids and assist me..just negodu

Anonymous said...

Anybody visiting my home for the first time is a guest and will be treated as such. I do not expect my guests to wash dishes and clear plates. I don't care how close we are, if have entered my home for the first time it is for me to roll out the red carpet and treat you well.

Greatlady. said...

The topic suggest is voluntarily if he/she wants to do it. On a first visit, it's not forced labour

Greatlady. said...

Lollll, this one is funny

Greatlady. said...

Correct @Mrs Roma

Chike TEFLON said...

You say wetin??

Chike TEFLON said...

Mrs. R everything is wrong with it... Very very wrong oooo

Chike TEFLON said...

God bless you

ola wealth said...

Lolz chike...

Some can't even allow ooo..
Some will even sit till their hubby finishes eating

Chike TEFLON said...

Ed you say wetin????


Elastic come oooooo, did you wash your plate the 1st day you visited Ed's family?? Nwanna, imekata sim eeh okwa ngwa umunna ka ha deenyi aha gi na umu ada.... 😂😂😂😂😂

Bia Ed ekwekwana ka iwe m di oku na Ebe ino... Lol

Chike TEFLON said...

Good bless you...

Chike TEFLON said...

What is this one saying????

Chike TEFLON said...

Iji okwu at your last sentence. God bless you

Hunger Quencher said...

Hmmm ela yi LA gon.
Okwa kproakpo ka aki.

Olivia Silk said...

@Anon. Thank you.


Cookie why do you have a problem when someone doesn't agree with you or see things from your view ?????

You have a lot of growing up to do. Stay away from my comments.

Olivia Silk said...

Thank you Romas.
People are saying he doesn't know the way to the kitchen as if the kitchen is a thousand miles away.
At least TRY to clear your table! Make an attempt!

Anonymous said...

It's NOT proper for a FIRST time visitor, guest or male visitor to pack or wash plates. It's common and simple courtesy not to allow your guest to do it. No matter how comfortable he or she is in your home. Worst that can happen is he or she stays and have a chat with you while doing the dishes in your kitchen. What are you trying to prove or what are you trying to establish. I feel it shows you are not capable of being a proper host.
And to the topic that says a Male visitor in his in-laws place for the first time....it's insulting and even if she is female I feel she is not to be allowed to do so. My dad ...God rest his soul said my sister in law should come and sit cause he has something to discuss with her. That the maid will do the dishes. His reasons was that it's better not to give the impression that we are bringing her into the family to do our house chores cause we are capable of doing so without her and her role is far too important than washing and cleaning plates. She will have enough time to do all that as she grows in the family but she needs to first observe her potential new home cause she is his daughter not a maid. And daughters are brought up in a family not acquire or employed. And if a man is allowed or expected by the in-laws to do his dishes on his first day Abeg Na insult all the way. Don't forget we are africans, and by God's instructions the potential head of a new home and doing dishes does not make him a good man. I will be scared if a guy offers to do the dishes cause it's like he is trying so hard to impress his in-laws. When you give me your daughter and I treat her well and help her with the dishes and cooking in our home is what is important. Not putting up a boot licking show for your in-laws.

Olivia Silk said...

Since the guy will later become family (I suppose ) it's only right that he starts acting like one immediately.
Let it be that he was stopped from entering the kitchen. That's a whole different matter.

White Diamond said...

Ermmm, if you give a visitor food and remove the plates after they are done, is there any need to ask who would remove your fiancé's plate when he comes visiting for the first time?

Fiancé wey wan impress should make to remove the plates himself, but then, you can ask him not to bother. No be first time visitor?

Oh well...

I don't even see how this is an issue.

#WhiteDiamondOut

lizyyaminu said...

Chike me self folo shock just because stela stated her opinion many folo frgetin dat stela dey abroad

Anonymous said...

Martin About, please how can I contact you?

OLOLADE said...

on his first visit? even if he wants to I will collect it from him, except if I'm busy with something else and even at that I will ensure he does not wash it, he can just take it to the kitchen,even my female friends sef I cant allow you do the dishes on a first visit, much less a fiancee

Yoo Hwa said...

Why should he even pack plates at all? It's a no no for me

Chike TEFLON said...

God bless you

Chike TEFLON said...

God bless you

wideawake naija said...

He is still a guest. And should still be given the guest VIP treatment to an extent. He fully becomes family after he has married me. The over familiarity is not expected I'll even see it a being unnecessarily nosy. Engagements can be broken at anytime o guy.

Chike TEFLON said...

God bless you

Cynthia Iyede said...

You will signal him to take his plate to the kitchen on his first visit? Even if it's the 90th visit? Ok nau

wideawake naija said...

Thank you. He has not even fully entered and they wan turn am to boiboi.


BTW I'm a woman...

Cynthia Iyede said...

😁😁 na vex level?

Chike TEFLON said...

Are you no longer in Jupiter???

Chike TEFLON said...

Even the Bible says "when you get to Rome do as the Romans"

Jeni_zee said...

Moreover the girlfriend is suppose to sit around or check when he is done eating to remove the plate. How can he be carrying tray looking for where the kitchen is located

Cynthia Iyede said...

Abeg I won't allow my fiancé do such. It will seem awkward for him to start washing his own plate on his first visit especially if he's unexpectedly seen in the kitchen doing so. E no make sense jare.

Mdesanges said...

There is nothing wrong with him taking his plate to the kitchen but washing it will be a no no.

Anonymous said...

Chile stop releasing sperm all over the comment section

Anonymous said...

Men can't clear the table in their mother in-laws house it's abomination. Even in the man's house if they have children old enough or house help it is not his duty and when their is no visitor it is not his duty. When it's the two love birds alone or with their little children it is alowed

Green Field said...

Honestly I don't understand the bone of Contention here, how can ur fiance come to ur house and after eating , he takes his plates to d kitchen and even washes them. HIAN!!!! In this Naija. Okoooo I don't think any man that's a real man can do that. Sha sha I recognise different strokes for different folks. Ogwu ka o ram n'onu.

Madam Small Chops said...

Hahahaha at carrying tray and looking for kitchen,I just pictured it.

The guy would have stood up and gone back to his sitting position.Heard he signaled the babe to clear the table and that didn't go down with her parents.

Truth be told how many guys clears table on first visit for this our country.What I don't understand is why it became an issue.

Any way moving over to that wicked mans post.

lizyyaminu said...

Lolz @anonymous

Anonymous said...

Tell them. In as much as we r trying to be civilised here, what kind of mumu boyfriend/fiace will come to my family house and start taking his plate to the kitchen or where ever?. Taaaaaaaa

Anonymous said...

Let a man do dt in my family or attempt it and he has automatically lost his manhood. I will even advice him before he gets there cos everybody will just be watching and recording his actions from the door. Carry plates to the kitchen indeed.

SANDY YO said...

Me wont allow dat sha o! Will look very somehow to moi.

Anonymous said...

U dey mind the guy called chike aka firmous aka chike goes to the river.... Him something just dey pour everywhere he went.

Anonymous said...

let me jst ask this simple question, if it was the girl that went to the guy's family house will she signal the guy to come carry her plate or she will start looking for the kitchen herself..maybe the way the guy signalled the girl was someow or the girl shld av been gisting with the guy when he was eating so there wnt be any need for signalling after eating

Anonymous said...

Which manhood?? Reason why some of your men treat their women as shit and their property. How do you people think this way? You need to be enlightened by learning other cultures out there. #villagementality #myopic

Anonymous said...

Nope, he's a guest, and should be treated as such.
If I visit him, is own pple will serve me like a queen, rally round and make me feel at home

Jasmine said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

SWAG LAFRESH said...

Abi oh. They should even give the man a cutlass to clear grass outside.

He's a first time visitor so let it remain that way.

SWAG LAFRESH said...

He has GPS

SWAG LAFRESH said...

Olivia, thank you for this last paragraph.

I like know how them dey do am. Boo met my parents for the first time during intro.

SWAG LAFRESH said...

My dear I tire for eye service. Had similar discussion with my friend. Her colleague's husband is no longer loyal to his inlaws. He was doing houseboy for them when he just married. Now he has money he stopped. My question was why did he start it when he knows it's not in him.

jelly said...

On his first visit? No way, i won't even allow him, i will rather clear the dishes myself

Anonymous said...

Nice one Martins Aboy! Spot on! I pray you find happiness in a good woman who appreciates you. :)

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