Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Thursday, 17 August 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

This is so Annoying!!!







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

FATHER FROM HELL


Hi Stella. Please I need help asap. I'm 26yrs old, a graduate and serving corps member, but my father fails to give me respect as an adult. For as long as I can remember, we've gone through every form of domestic violence you can think of. ...

From emotional,verbal, psychological and physical abuse from him. Even our mum is not left out ( only that he's never gone physical on her) but you'll agree that emotional n psychological abuse is worse of. Tonight he hit me again, so hard I dislocated my jaw. There's a limit to how we can defend ourselves cos he's ripped us of confidence by constant shouting down and bullying. 


We've avoided home, but still end up visiting cos of our mum who draws strength from our presence. I need help on how to deal with him. He's a pastor and to the outside world, he's a saint. We can't talk or report him to anyone cos in your very presence he'll change it on you and you. Ever read chimamanda's PURPLE HIBISCUS? That's our life except that he doesn't spend on his children. 


Please I need advise on how to finally stand up for ourselves and put an end to this abuse. My older siblings left n blacked out on everyone without looking back just to feel safe and My mum is fading away.


 Older siblings cant get married because every suitor runs away after meeting with him. He's disrespectful to everyone that comes in contact with us, they all leave out of embarrassment. Tonight's beating made me realise he needs to be forced into being responsible except I'm not sure how.......


 We can't report him to anyone who'll believe whatever we have to say. Its almost shameful even daring to share with anyone. 

Please advise me on how to fight back for the sake of my sanity and that of my mother. Thank you.


*This is so horrible,I got so upset reading this....
Why don't you people leave the house for him?Discuss with your older siblings to pack you and your mum out of the house....


58 comments:

Miss Ess said...

Hian! Only God can fix your father. This is too much to condone with.

Adele love said...

What kind of man is this? Poster you and your siblings need to do something fast. Go to a far away state where he can't find you guys pls take your mother along don't leave her behind. Counsel her that we only live once that is if she is developing cold feet. Or better still use purple habiscus style. Wicked man.

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

This ya papa need deliverance oooo. Forget pastor. Many people need deliverance from spirit of anger. Your papa own self, let me think of who go deliver him, oya let him go meet Queen pastor.

You can stand up by taking charge. Dont be afraid and look him straight in the eyes. Tell him your mind, but what i will advise dont be too physical with him. It is wrong for a child to raise his finger on the parents.

Go to the pulpit during testimony time and share your story to everyone in the church. lests see how it will go

Anonymous said...

What did I just reading?

Chidinma Grace said...

Pastor from hell. And people still wonder where devil lives?

Jeni_zee said...

Gang up nd beat him

Beloved said...

And he is a Pastor? What does he preach to the congregation?
Is he possessed or what

DoppelgΓ€nger said...

He beat you up for what exactly? I don't know what to tell you than that you should remove yourself from such toxic environment. Our laws doesn't allow us report such cases as this one, the police officers will tell you it's a domestic matter and should be settled at home but it's wrong on all levels. I blame your mother for letting it go on for as long as it has. A mother should fight and protect her kids at all cost. If he isn't a provider, who has funded you and your siblings? You're 26,If you can help it go live with a relative or friend willing to accommodate you till you can get a place of your own. I fear that one day you might react and hit him back because there's only so much someone can take. He also has the cloak of sainthood covering his private habit, you mother needs to speak up and address the issue. He'd grow old and have no kids to care for him because he spent his youth battering them. Maybe when all his kids run from him, he'd think about his actions and behave better.

Anonymous said...

Purple hibiscus was a nice read by chimamanda.

I am king EZE said...

He is a pastor, there should be another pastor he reports to or listens to,there is no way he is not going to believe your siblings and your mother.you could also embrace the character of 'jaja' in chimamanda's purple hibiscus and every one will be happy.

Anonymous said...

Hello dear... Ur father has a lion and wild dog spirit. Plus he has some demons disturbing him,,,, u guys need to run faraway from him and watch him sink into depression.

But wait o.... Ur father still beatz u at 26.? That means even if u get married he will still knack u. Ur father is possessed pls.. TB Joshua has relocated,,, let me recommend another... U guys should take him to MFM or that church in delta

Mrs.R SDK blog Official BFF said...

Yes, I got upset reading this too! Poster so sorry for all you and your siblings are going through in the hands of your father.

Your father deserve to be disgraced, he's not the type of father the bible command us to honour.
I wish you or any of your sibling can record or video tape him when he's acting out or hitting any of you; call a meeting on his head while you make everyone watch him.

Please, you need to leave that house before that man kills you! I believe your allowance is enough to sustain you for a while until you get a better paying job.
Your father is not a pastor, he is the devil's advocate. He is a wolf in sheep clothing. He need to be taught a lesson.

How does he even climbed the pulpit and preach to his congregation without feeling any sense of guilt? I bet he has sold his conscience.

Or you can report him to any of the NGO that fight for children who are being battered by their parent.

I really feel upset reading this.

covfefe said...

You all should leave the house and take your mother along,let him be alone until he is ready to make amends.

Chike TEFLON said...

Poster the only way to deal with him is to leave home and stop communicating with him. If you want to see your mum, go when he is not around. Murder him with silence. Tell your siblings, all of you should ignore him and shower your mum with love.

sexy Daddy said...

Poster your case is very simple. Liase with your older siblings to get a house for your mum where you guys can visit her always! Go further to give your father a stern warning never to come close to her. Mteww that's why its good to hustle for independent from the skackles of a man like your father!
..Make Una teem up and challenge your father to stop his old ways or face what ever he did not expect!.

Him chop winch?.
..
Good luck

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

This is what I think.
You can't do much about his character but you can choose your reaction following his horrible action. What do you want to do? Beat him back, insult him, or worse kill him? Steal from him?
The only thing I can advice is that you plant a camera in the house and use the videos as evidence to support your abuse claim when you want to report to outsiders. You might want to do soemthing as drastix as posting such on social media and calling for help.
I also think you should leave that house. I think that the guys who left didn't love your siblings enough, because if they did they will see that hes just a badly behaved man and hasten up to remove the lady from that toxic excuse of a home.

You dad is psychologically unwell and this is the reason why we say many at mad but few are roaming. So sorry about all you've been through

Anonymous said...

He doesn't privide for u people and your mum still stayed with him in d name of married woman abi,is that life that she is living? i know she wont agree to leave,she would rather die there. Your elder ones should stop taking their partners to him,they should tell them they dont have a father,they should do their wedding without your father,nor be today e start people do it,or else all of una go turn uncle and aunty gwegs there. Rubbish

Blackberry said...

Ur mum can go stay with ur siblings, that is, if she will agree,u avoid home if u can, u are serving, remain till u pass out.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

And your mum... why did at tolerate that do so long? How did she watch him do those things to you guys? This is really sad.

Anonymous said...

Stella, I know the family, its even worse than she had narrated. what a pity. Fake pastors everywhere.

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

Anon 15:06 which kind engrish be this?

Anonymous said...

Emotional abuse is worst than physical abuse.drains u off all confidence and self esteem. I understand u very well. Who beats a26 old choii ur dad is something else,i chop beating but it stopped when he realized beating wasnt even making things better then i was in sec sch tho.start looking for a skill or job that will keep u out of the house most of the day if possible get a place of your own,and please never reply back at him.world people will say since it is not physical abuse then ur mum has no business leaving him.ur elder ones can try inviting mum for vacation atleast when ur dad doesnt see her or u guys around he will have a rethink. Most fathers forget they will grow old and will need their kids to take care of them,after damaging their kids i wonder who will look after them.Note to future husbands u all have to learn to be ur kids best friend not worst nightmare.

Love.Eating.Pussy said...

Your father sounds like a man who has a mini god personality.

People like him only understand change when you rebel.

They believe everyone is beneath them and no one is as wise as them.

Well the thing is people like this fear public condemnation and such would do anything to be keep their savior personality in the eye of the public.

Well you can change that
Find the one person you know he aspires to become, someone or people he respects and looks up to.

Find that person and you and ur sibling should go to that person and report him.

Tell everyone gory detail and let this person hear you peoples version of your father.

Now because he doesn't want to disappoint this person or group of persons should they be more than one, he will try to make amends.

That is how you fight back for the dignity of you and siblings.

Let him get a taste of his own disdain through the eyes of others and then watch as he will be forced to change because he must keep appearance as worthy man in the eye of the public.

Or ur follow stellas advice, save up move out with your mom and leave him to his misery of growing old alone.

The choice is yours.



LEPπŸ˜›

Nkem said...

Since you mentioned purple hibiscus, I'm guessing you have read it. You saw how his wife set herself free? I'm not asking you to tow same line,but freedom comes from you. You are the only one to put a stop to this nonsense. The choice is yours ,be wise.

sucrexoxo said...

I don't know why everyone is saying move out and move with your mom. Your mother is your father's enabler,if she had ever stood up to him once and maintained her stand this wouldn't be happening. You an adult,move out. If things get better for you,take care of your mom and dad and fulfil your duty to them. For now, save your sanity. Your mom will always go back to your dad either because of "what people will say" or stockholm syndrome.

Anonymous said...

Your mother is an enabler. Some women confuse submission with weakness. How would she watch your father emotionally,verbally and physically abuse her children and keep quiet?

That's why the way you enter a marriage matters a lot. If you are someone with no values and morals, you would end up tolerating anything.

Some men think they need weak and quiet women but actually they don't. There are men you have to use absolute madness to follow for them to calm down. There are men you have to use diplomacy to follow and get what you want. There are men, you have to be absolutely quiet to get what you want. That's why I do not believe in all these seminars where they advise women to be gentle with every man.

I would advise you to leave that house and stay on your own. You are an adult. Stay away from that toxicity. You can send money home but avoid coming back often. Dont do anything to your father. It's left for your mother to correct him and if she doesn't, it's not your business anymore. As for suitors, Just pray to God, the one for you will stay.

KING XOXO MYSTERY

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness. I felt I was reading my story here. My dear as someone who has gone through exactly what you have and worse, let me advise you. LEAVE and don't look back. It took me up till I was 35 to deliver myself. It then took another 10 years for me to cut off my demonic father. I still sent him money from afar but I refused ti talk to him. Men like that are too damaged and you need to remove yourself from such a TOXIC environment. WHEN you leave, work on yourself. Be careful not to replicate that kind of relationship by choosing the wrong man. Men tend to know women who are damaged and they take advantage of them. Find it in your heart to forgive so that you will not be bitter BUT CUT HIM OFF. He is no father to anybody. He just fathered you. As for your mum, that is tricky. Such women don't think twice about sacrificing their own children for the sake of a sham marriage and she is also psychologically damaged. She has been an enabler of your dad's actions and she may not even want to leave him even if you buy her a palace. Give her the option though. If she chooses to stay with him let her. Remember they have lived their life and you are yet to live yours. Be strong and of good courage as the pressure to conform will be great. But for your won sanity and peace of mind FLEE NOW>

Anonymous said...

It's good you mentioned purple hibiscus what other advice do u need... u know how the story ends... 😏... father from hell

Pastor's Daughter said...

did i hear u say your father is a pastor? Mbanu oooh my father is a pastor and i can tell you authoritatively that your father fell from a different tree.






this is what my hausa folks call baban banza

Anonymous said...

My dad too is the same a pastor too, very disrespectful when he is around everybody goes to the room..he always converts every good thing to bad, bearly laughs. he's not totally annoying sha gives money away when it enters his head

Anonymous said...

I can relate cos I have been there. My mum refused to leave too and ended up with a stroke, wish we had taken her earlier. My advise is get accommodation for your mum and y'all should move out and leave him alone, none of you should communicate with him and you'll see him change, you just watch. Don't bother reporting him to anyone, they'll take his side,i know cos I have experienced it. I'll go anonymous for this,thanks

Anonymous said...

Nobody is asking the poster what the issue is, are they obedient to him? Or they feel they are old enough to behave anyhow or talk back at him with disrespect.... Judging from a one sided story isn't the best.... But the past or should learn to control himself, why beat up a grown-up child? It is well

Mom said...

My brother was playing on our psychics claiming i am protecting you and we bought it for years. At 25 he decides alot in my life. In his words, I am you father as my parents allowed him make alot of decision on their behalf. So i decided to get married and flee from him. Omo he commanded me to stay in Ilorin and even had the gut to tell my hubby to come stay in Ilorin. I packed my things and flew down to lagos. This man is damn domineering.....and i have showed him. Infact the last time i saw him abi spoke with him was april and i dont plan to call or flash him. Somebody cannnot come and turn me to ode!
I have my life to live plus na me go face God so let me live it in peace.
So dear poster, make the decision and vamoose. Lemme tell you, the only reason he acts that way is cos you give him so much attention. Relocate if you have to. Or get your apartment and call him once in a month. You can always find a way to reach you mum. Wish i could see you and tell you so much from my experience. Nonsense! You gat to be responsible for you.

Anonymous said...

Y can't u people put sniper in his food so dat he wld eat it and die once and for all,so dat u guys wld hv peace! Just joking,but on a very serious note ur dad is a pernicious odious vermin!A barracuda without a heart!wat manner of wicked dad is he?and u say his a pastor?a man of God?his a man of devil o! Very wicked man,u had beta learn how to start fighting for yourselves o before ur dad kills u people o! And put him in prayers cos his been used by d devil!take his name to mountain of fire so dat de wld kabash on his head!very wicked and mean man! Nonsense!mscheeeeeew!

Anonymous said...

Thank you! The mum doesn't want to leave and nobody can force her out. Poster better save your head and your life and move out. Be visiting your mum when your dad is not around. He will never see you as an adult until he is no longer responsible for any of your bills.

Anonymous said...

Abeg live your mama alone let her continue! She will not go anyehere. There is this pastor who has disrespected the wife so bad even the children took over. Imagine children going to visit their dad's mistress even taking her to clerical functions. Abeg your mumu don do. Live your mum when u balance if she wants to live take her if not they will live their own and your own join sef

jelly said...

Your dad still beat you at 26, just find your way out of that house

DON™ said...

I think you guys are rude to your dad. Yeah, I didnt bothered to read till the end.

SANDY YO said...

Lmaooo! Easier said...
This wont even solve d probs.
If It were to be me, would have looked for a way to leave that house tey tey just like she stated her older sis did bhet will be calling home somehow.
I have little or zero tolerance for some things.
Poster, pele o!

SANDY YO said...

No be small Baban banza. Hehehe!

SANDY YO said...

I dey tell you! Some mothers can be like that. They just allow their hubby to totally overshadow them while they hurt deeply inside. Kai!!!

Cynthia Iyede said...

Leave that house and find your own place, if you're not financially bouyant for that, go stay with your elder ones or friends. Your peace of mind is better. If you can afford a place of your own and your mum will agree to stay with you, take her along.

Anonymous said...

While there are demons living like human beings in this world, you can't tell me that for 26 years of your life, your father has been abusing you for no other reason than to feed his machismo/ego. You've exaggerated sister. If your jaw was broken, you'd be sedated cos the pain is terrible. That would also have been your evidence. See the way you started the right up sef "but my father fails to respect me as an adult". Respect isn't bought in the market, you earn it. I won't say I was abused cos I wasn't but I grew up with the strictest of mothers. After someone sat me down and spoke to me about my attitude when I was about 22, I tried to change the way I interacted with my mum. She'd flare up and I'll be as quiet as a mouse. The day I spoke up, my mum saw her errors and it's been a blissful relationship since. I didn't shout back, neither did I insult her. I waited for a time when she was a bit relaxed. I poured out my heart with words I was deliberately "counting". I was talking and crying. Before I did this, I had fasted and prayed for God to give me wisdom and the right words plus for Him to touch her heart to be receptive. My siblings that avoided home can no longer wait to come for visits. You're being advised to "take your mum away from your dad" as if she's senile but you can't do that cos unless she's made up her mind to leave, she won't go anywhere with you. No matter what, that man is still your father. It's better you disgrace him now, for the salvation of his soul rather than leave him as he is. Men of God also need prayers. Good thing the demons that follow them didn't land on one of you but himself so pray for him. Set him up. This is the age of mobile devices. Even the torchlight phones now have recording capabilities. If you can't get video evidence, them get audio evidence. Deliberately provoke him or do that which provokes him without actually being in the wrong. His demons will arise. As he's beating you or abusing you, make sure you keep calling him so that your evidence is strong. If there's a media department in your church, join them and one day during service, play the recording. He will be forced to face himself and probably change. I believe in the power of prayers and also that everybody is redeemable. You can also chose to stay away from both your parents. Na you wear the shoe, na you know where e dey bite. I live in the same city as my father(parents are divorced) but I haven't seen him in 3yrs. Spoke with him last about 7months ago when he called. I rarely call him cos he's mildly annoying. He's not abusive but negligent(story for another day). I still have hopes that he'll change soon. I'm going anonymous on this cos I've revealed a little too much about myself.

Anonymous said...

You just explained my brother

TOUCH CEE said...

Lmao. You are evil

Anonymous said...

He my be suffering from a psychiatric illness. All of you should gather resources, get accommodation and move in with your mum. Suitors don't want to marry from a bad family or one with mental issue.

Jeni_zee said...

Honestly it's annoying

Anonymous said...

Maybe u guys should "purple hibiscus" him like in the novel. Abi???

Anonymous said...

Chikito u too make sense! U make sense!!!

Anonymous said...

I love ur advice.

Anonymous said...

This is a complicated matter my dear, may God give you wisdom to handle the situation. I find it very strange that your dad can beat a 26 year old man in 2017. Have you ever tried to ask him what makes him angry? I can't just picture my own dad beating me. It's really sad.
No matter how wicked he might be, there's someone who can talk to him like close relatives and so on.

Anonymous said...

*write up
*then get

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

And poster I hope you're not at home using his electricity, eating his food, getting money for your upkeep, driving his cars and demanding respect. Ko le work oh. If you still stay with your parents at 26 you should be pulling some major weight in that house. Infact! If the man knows that you help him reduce bills at home, he won't slap you. He will manifest oh! But he will be veeery cautious.

Red Wine said...

You people should leave the house for him for a while and see if things will change.

sholetoga said...

Poster.....you're an adult na, move in with a friend if you can't afford to stay alone. May God interven on your behalf because at your age even if you do anything annoying, he's suppose to call you to discuss not to start beating you.......

Ajagbe adeola hannah said...

What stupid pastor? Pastor is just a title and I agree with stelz, this post is annoying. Start with telling everyone who cares to listen what you've been going through. Plan to run far away from him and forget he exists. But I must say, your mother, what was she doing? See, I am not married and I don't have kids, but if anything is coming in the way of my children happiness, I'll deal with it without regret. Your must let this go on for too long. As it seems, she might not support this and you have to leave her behind. You can only keep praying for her. Ahn ahn! What a father.

Anonymous said...

Thats how the person who calls himself my dad was, despite being his only son he made sure I grew up hating him due to his constant verbal and physical aggression. He didn't even attend my wedding 2 years ago and called people to threaten them not to attend. Now he is suffering like a nobody and he is he begging to make up with me. I don't give a freaking hoot about him anymore. When he dies, I won't attend his funeral.

Anonymous said...

Poster, put your phone on record while he is exhibiting his madness!!!
You can then use the recording to report him to a Senior Pastor in his church. BUT MAKE SURE YOU HAVE SOMEWHERE TO GO BEFORE YOU MAKE THE REPORT!!!

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