Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Wednesday, 23 August 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmm this is serious!!!





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WOMAN ON THE RUN

Please Dear kindly hide my identity. help me and post this. My chronicle is long please bear with me because I really need advice right now.

I did my church wedding and traditional marriage in November, 2009, then I was just 21 years old and my husband was 32 years. Everything was moving fine until 2010 when we became worried because i haven't even missed my period even once. The pressure became much with my husband calling me names.... I was working before I got married and he made me to quit my job because he wants me to stay at home so I can get pregnant even though my job wasn't stressful at all.

He would leave home most times without giving me money for food but he will give his two siblings living with us some money so they can buy what ever they like.I had some savings while I was working so some times I will just withdrew some money and cook, he will come home and eat. Sometimes he will leave like 500 naira on the center table for me to prepare food.


In July 2010, the nightmare began. The first time I had a problem with his brother that came to visit because he called me a barren woman, I won't lie, I was so angry that if not because he is a man, we would have had a fist fight even the two siblings living with me supported their brother. When my husband came home, they reported to him and for the first time, he beat the hell out of me. 


That was how the beating started with every slight provocation, he will beat me up and because of the insult the family was giving me, I had to start seeking for medical attention in other to conceive. He told he friends and family that i don't have womb and am possessed.


 I went to a gynaecologist in Victoria island, he requested for some test, both HSG, hormonal assay, scan etc and the result came out fine. My Husband refused to pay my hospital bills and I used my savings. When the doctor told me I was OK, I broke down in tears and begged him to give me any drugs that can help me, he only proscribed folic acid.
Meanwhile my husband was dating any girl he can lay he hands on and he doesn't use protection because he wanted a child. One day on our way to church, he saw a girl while driving he said "kia if you touch this one once she will take in, not this wombless woman that I went and married".

This problem continued through out the years. If i want to leave, he said he will fill a police report that i stole his 5millon naira.I was moving from one hospital to another until in 2015 when he infected me with Ghonorrah. 

He didn't want to go to hospital for semen test but when I explained to my doctor about this disease he ask me to lure him to his hospital. Well, we went to the hospital together lo and behold, he has only 1 million sperm with 0 motility. 


Apparently, all this while he knows he had low stuff be he just want me to suffer and waste money. He said a drop is enough to get me pregnant.Anyway, from that day the beating became worse. He became insecure. He said am possesed, he took me to mfm for dry fasting and deliverance. 


If i greet a man he will beat the hell out of me and claim that I want to get pregnant from outside. He will go through my phone when he comes back and he will beat me claiming that I have deleted my boyfriends number from call log. Sometimes after beating, I will pass out on the floor till morning and he will take me to hospital to be treated the following day.


One day around September 2016, I went to the saloon to make my hair but didn't tell him because he was sleeping he looked for me and later found me in front of the saloon he beat me and push me inside a gutter. People gathered and he drove off.


The following day while he was at work I ran away. I sent the picture of my bruises to parents and they ask him to come and collect his bride price. He hasn't come and am scared of filling for divorce because before I change my contact he always call to threaten me that he is going pour me acid any day he finds me.

Well, right now, am in another state. Changed my contact and all, even my parents don't know my house but we speak every other day. I have been able to start up little roadside business and I thank God. I will not even consider to marry again. But I met a guy around January this year and he has been kind to me so last month after we went for a HIV and other test, We made love and to my greatest surprise I became PREGNANT!!! Just once oh. I was shocked. 

5weeks pregnant already.

The guy has been providing everything but the problem now is that he wants me to get a divorce and return the bride price so he can marry me. He is giving me serious pressure But for me, marriage is not for me again. Right now, am thinking of relocating again where  he can't find me. I don't want him or any other man. But I want a child. Do I sound crazy?



96 comments:

Miss Ess said...

Chai! I understand your fears but I think your parents should call his and they should hold a meeting. Go to the police and get an injunction that any harm on you he should be held responsible. Go ahead with your new life.

Beloved said...

Hugs dear....Sor Onye gba "shoe" MA ebe o Na afu ya...

Whatever your brain says...do it

DoppelgΓ€nger said...

The things women endure in the name of marriage. Even if you won't marry this new guy which I think is taking it too far at least do the right thing and divorce your ex the proper way. That way you'd know you'd write him off completely from your life and decide on the things you want to do exactly. You don't need to be present to get someone to sigh a divorce I think, all your lawyer needs is to send the papers to him to sign. You know you're not ready to remarry yet you started a relationship and even got pregnant. One lesson should be enough darling, learn to state things clearly before you get into a relationship or marriage. You got married at 21 and now years after enduring abuse and getting away, you're still making irrational decisions.
Young women, listen and listen good stop giving up your dreams to please a man. A man who is always using I instead of we is not a man to spend forever with. Marriage is more than popping off babies and always be clear about the things you would or wouldn't accept.
It's unfair to take a child deliberately from its father. This new guy has been good and supportive, you can discuss your fears with him. You're probably still scarred from the past and before you know it you would want nothing more than to be married to a good man. Do not run away with his child, that's as wicked as your ex husband was.

Anonymous said...

Awwww...God gave you a second chance on love please don't reject it or run away try be strong and ask for a divorce start your life all over again with this new man if for nothing at all to put shame on your husband and his family

busybee said...

Oh darling I am so happy for you. Feel free to divorce that beast at your own time and don't marry until you are really ready. Make sure they don't find out that you are pregnant and let safety be your watchword. Go about everything safely and smartly. God will grant you a safe delivery and give you long life to take care of your child. I wish I could contact you somehow to give the baby a gift. Stella, update post with her email?

Anonymous said...

ummmm...na wa o..

sexy Daddy said...

Let me deviate abit from this story!
89% of TTC in the family is cause by men!I know what iam talking about. When you go to fertility clinics you will weep for the stories you will hear concerning our able bodied men who their sperm count is not enough to give their wife belle,but they will always put the blame on their innocent wifes living with them at home.

If I'm to suggest,our young girls should make sure you carry belle before saying I do! please,to avoid story that touch!

Coming back to the main jist.Madam laise with your family and file a case to the police of threat to life.Get your divorce papers and divorce him asap!
Wish you luck!

Anonymous said...

From November 2009 to July 2010, thats 9x you didn't miss your period and you were referred to as barren!!! Damn!!! That man has so messed you up psychologically. You'll need to build yourself back up, become the strong and courageous woman you're meant to be. Don't say marriage isn't for you due to bad experience, now you know better! You will need to take things gradually with this new guy, don't run away with his child. Even if you guys don't end up together, have a good relationship with him for the sake of the child. Apply wisdom in everything, never rush into any decision, pray always, rededicate yourself to God, find that consolation and rest you get from Jesus alone, pray for forgiveness and desist from fornication.

Do not FEAR your ex for that was all he gave you (+disease) and he's still using it to rule you even as you've left.

Then......fucking get a divorce

Anonymous said...

Had a friend wit ur exact story, only dat d husband returned her brideprice n broke waterpot, d man dat got her pregnant was a married man,d man was caring for her until d wife found out, d man had a stroke, became paralysed, all expenses to babymama stopped, she's contemplating asking d wife for financial help, I warned her against it, she's now doing prostitution with big belly, some men have a fetis for pregnant runz babes.

Chike TEFLON said...

All I understand from your write up is trauma.

That your 1st husband is wicked.
File for divorce and return his bride price. Marry the new man.

Some men are wicked.
Most men are responsible for being childless. They will refuse to go to hospital and still blame their wives.

Poster it is well.

Anonymous said...

You don't sound crazy..but u can give the guy a chance...

Red Wine said...

You sound crazy, you should told him from on set you only need a child and not get married, now that you are pregnant do you think the guy will free you? You need to have a heart to heart discussion with him on what you want, do not run away. How long will you continue to run away from your problem? Face it now and have final solution to it.

Women are really in he'll cos we want to be called married women, that your husband don't worry soon he will meet his Match. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

The Observer said...

I'm happy u were able to find love again and even get pregnant! Wow !
let your family negotiate the return of bride price and let your lawyer sort out divorce but DO NOT ALLOW that devil agent know where u n ur man reside

JOYOUS said...

NA WAOH, DONT RUN AWAY DEAR, JUST INVOLVE THE POLICE, LAWYER ANYBODY YOU KNOW CAN HELP AND SEEK FOR DIVORCE AND MARRY THE FATHER OF YOUR CHILD....MARRIAGE IS A BEAUTIFUL THING IS JUST THAT YOU MET THE WRONG PERSON. PLEASE YOU CANT KEEP RUNNING FOR LIFE YOU ARE TO YOUNG FOR THIS.

BLOGBRITY said...

You need psychological help seriously

ORIAKU said...

No you don't sound crazy, you are just scared. If this new guy gives you peace and treats you like an egg then give love a chance.Congratulations

Madam Small Chops said...

No you don't sound crazy,you love yourself and are on the right part.You tried with your ex hubby God knows I wouldn't stay that long.

I'm sure if you had taken time to heal properly maybe you wouldn't be scared to remarry.I would have said run away with the pregnancy but this new guy seems good for you(hope he is not pretending ni).

I think you shouldn't rush into marriage with him.use this period of pregnancy to get to know him better when you deliver,you decide if you want to be with forever or on your own with your baby.Dont out of pressure say YES to him cos you might regret it.

Hope your parents have returned your bride price already.Filing a divorce on the grounds of DV should be easy na .I pray every evil your ex hubby intends for you will backfire in Jesus name Amen.

I wish you happiness in your relationship and safe delivery ahead.May God be with you.

Anonymous said...

Hmm, this thing called marriage. Dear poster my people will say when a man leaves a woman it's a man the woman will still get married to. Honestly if i went through what you have gone through it would put me off marriage. However, consider that if you run away and swear off marriage that means your ex-monster is winning. Don't allow him to control your life and dictate how you should live it. If there's a small chance of happiness with the new man please take it. Don't deny yourself a good future because of a basted. Your happiness is the best revenge.

Anonymous said...

no u don't sound crazy.u re just scared of ur husband,but not all men re d same.file a divorce and nothing will happen to u.open ur heart and receive love again

Shantelle's Empire said...

So because your husband used you,you now want to use someone's son and run away right? Selfish somebody. Let me just stop here before i goreally hard on you.

Emmy yayo said...

Wow...thank God you are pregnant now...Shame to that your impotent husband..I SEE you are scared of men now but please marry the man that got you pregnant..God will be your strength in Jesus name

Mrs.R SDK blog Official BFF said...

Poster sorry for your ordeal! Your husband is an insecure monster.

But, you just messed things up for yourself. How can you start another relationship without seeking for a divorce first? You just committed adultery and also. You're about to jeopardize the life of an innocent baby because of your stupidity.

You better find a way to reach your husband or his family members, make sure you returned the bride price and go to the court, file for a divorce immediately.
After all you went through, one would have thought you've learnt your lessons but no, you rather went ahead and put yourself in a more complicated position.

My dear, do the needful, fix your relationship with the father of your unborn baby and allow that child have a normal family experience.

You were not through from one bondage, you still went and opened your legs wide without using protection.

I just hope your parents will help you out of this mess as soon as possible.

Anonymous said...

I understand just how you feel, I was married for 6 years and never missed my period, sad thing was that hubby will be forced to run tests and he had 99% of never getting a woman pregnant, No domestic violence though, he needed to do surgery but wont even take his meds.Please get a divorce so you can be legally free, you don't have to marry your child`s father or any other man yet if you are not ready. You don't have to be in attendance when your folks return the bride price, you can file for divorce after the birth of your child as you might not want him to see you pregnant. Congratulations dear!

shandy sleeks said...

No,you don't sound crazy. You really suffered but you have to tell the new guy your mind and don't run away o. Stay there and raise your child, if he likes, he can join hands with you, he can be visiting at least to see his child. You can't continue running away from them, maybe when the time is right, you can marry him but for now, you need rest from men and their wahala. Thank God you're surviving.

Isolde Fontaine said...

Poster it's unfortunate you went through all you did. Why don't you give this new guy a chance? He wants to be in the life of his kid, whtoh y don't you let him? You can't afford to live your life on the run.

Mrs A said...

Wow u av really gone through alot...

Rredalert said...

No my darling you are not Crazy! At all. I understand why you may not want to give Γ  man such opportunity in your life again. I also understand why you want that child, if I was in your shoes I would also keep the child aseat a companion thru life.
There is also a possibility that another man can make you happy, but I'll advice you keep your baby and stay away from him cos you are still married, and you have been hurt and scarred, better not to complicate your life further.
May God bless you, empower you and give you the resources to train your child and stand strong.
My heart goes to you, and I'll remember you in my prayers.be encouraged.!

Anonymous said...

Seems to be a nice guy, marry him na.

Lipstickalley said...

Yes @ Poster, you are Crazy and the reasons are below.

1. You stayed with a man that beat you till you passed out and even infected you with gonorrhea . Who stays? What if he had killed you in the process, the moment you saw the cracks in the marriage you should have bolted out.

2. Your Ex knows that you are timid that is why he keeps threatening to pour acid on you. If you have evidence of his threats you better get the police involved or round up some bouncers to re-arrange his medulla.

3. You want to be a Baby Mama? Why not co-parent for a while and if your current Boo is genuine, go ahead and marry him.

I am glad you are well and you lived to tell your story. You don't have to rush into any marriage for now. Enjoy life with the little one that you will soon birth and please file for a divorce, that your Ex can't do nada!!!!!

MrsB said...

Oh man 😭😭😭
I don't even have anything to say, I just want to hug you

AGELESS T said...

My dear you need a therapy. Your mind is messed up already. You have 2 men already when some have not found just one! That sounds like an act of mercy from God. You should be grateful. Except if this one too is showing signs of violence.

However, the very first step is to go to the POLICE STATION to make a report. Be proactive and not reactive, Don't wait for him to attack you first before you do the right thing . Otherwise you will be sorry. Make him write that nothing must happen to you physically and spiritually. Cos men like that can go to any length, as your pregnancy has exposed his infertility. This is a time to be brave and not a time for fear.
You want a child, but you don't want the father. Why do you want to raise that child that way? What has the child done to deserve that? That sounds selfish. If the guy is serious and he loves you enough pls marry him properly and start all over.


All the best.

Anonymous said...

You women TTC here
Drag your husbands to the hospital for tests. Stop running from pillar to post. He may be the one with problem and knows it but his wickedness and pride will not allow him to admit it. Instead he will keep on tormenting you.

Poster, send your parents to return his brideprice to his people so that you can be free. Get a good lawyer to file for divorce and let him sign an undertaking that nothing must happen to you, you can contact Emeka Ugwuonye of DPP. You can google his name and contact, this is incase you can't afford the legal fees of a regular lawyer. All the best dear.

Ada Aguiyi said...

I don't know what to say seriously. You are in between being crazy and not being crazy. Just pray for God's direction. You are indeed a strong woman to have endured all that in marriage.

Anonymous said...

You think the guy would've agreed to that tolded telled?

Anonymous said...

hmmmm. my dear you dont sound crazy. you sound like someone in serious need of a phycologist. your husband messed your mind up real good so you have to heal emotionally first for your sake and that of your child.Giving birth to a child will not completely heal you. please seek phycological help.

Candy said...

10000 likes.

Anonymous said...

No you don't sound entirely crazy!

You've been through a lot and you have every reason to say no to marriage. However I'll suggest you put your decision in prayer and ask for direction to see if this other man is the right man for you before settling down with him. tThe only reason to stay away from marriage is if you are capable of being alone without committing fornication. If you can, Then marriage isn't compulsory if you cannot then you shouldn't close your mind to marriage. You could find a perfect companion who will take away the pain you've witnessed from your previous relationship.

With your previous marriage, irrespective of he fact that you don't want to marry this new person, it's advisable you return the bride price and close every chapter with him. It's even good you have no offspring from such marriage. he is an abusvie manipulator. Forgive him and move on.

marjorie said...

Dear poster, i understand that you are hurt and you certainly do not want a repeat of what you experienced in your first marriage.
But do not hurt this new man too.
You should have told him all along that you do not intend remarrying and all you were in for was a baby.
Try and process a divorce from the other man, get a lawyer involved or some other body involved to fast track this in a safe manner. That older man is only intimidating you and he will not have you move on with your life.
Just go around it and ensure you are not in any means around the man you are married to so that he does not kill or disfigure you.
I am glad you woke up eventually as you were the only one fit for medical checks whereas the loud mouthed and empty barrel was not eligible for medical checks all those years?

Never go back to that low life and he even had the guts to put all his shit on you and blame you for it? What a manipulator!
Sha, look very well if the new man in your life is worth marrying please do not abscond with his baby. Do not hurt others just coz someone else hurt you.
But girls who marry men 10 years and more older than them while they are barely in their early 20's get mind sha.
If man done dey 6 or more years older, mhen i begin fear say na only him go get say for house o let alone 11 years older.

Goodluck

Alexa said...

no my dear you don't sound crazy, but it is not advisable to run away with his baby in your womb. the fact that you saw a bad egg in a crate does not necessarily mean that the rest 29 are bad too. don't let a bad experience spoil your chance for future happiness. moreover now you are managing a road side business, where do you hope to get the money to take care of your baby. My advice is that you should take out sometime to study the new man, don't rush into another relationship. And please don't let anyone bully you into marriage just because you are pregnant.

Anonymous said...

Damn! I'm crying! This is outright wickedness. Who raised men like these? I can't imagine my brothers doing this to their wives and expect me and others to support. My dear, please return the bride price asap and get married to your new guy.

Nwamaka.

slimqueen said...

The things women endure all in the name of marriage. Poster please divorce that monster of a horseband and do whatever you wish. Marriage no be by force. Haba!

Anonymous said...

She went after a married man? Should I say good for her? No I won't. Let her go and meet the man's wife let her kuku kill her. Baby mama might be the reason for the man's sickness you never can tell.

Poster so sad about all you had to go through but 8 yrs of all this abuse??? Sorry o if I'm probing but did you really go a test or your just said so that BVs won't eat you raw? If you did, why or were you trying to get pregnant. Just wondering how you will drag a friend to go for infection test just to fuck raw.

Anonymous said...

Oversabi where did you read that she wants to runaway with the child

Anonymous said...

Don't be selfish, your child needs a father. I do understand your reasons for not getting married but first step get a divorce from your husband. Give birth to your child first, then file for a divorce, no matter what happens you do not want to remain legally married to your husband. Get to know this other man better first before even thinking of marriage

Anonymous said...

I disagree when people say the husband is wicked. Before you go into marriage please LOVE YOURSELF enough to know when to walk away. If you had a child then I can understand what you endured. MAN is not GOD. If a man disrespects you, let him know that you won't stand for it. If he decides to beat you up, please walk away. You can love from afar. Please ask God to reveal the character of the person you get married before you say for better or worse. I can't understand how people will allow someone not there at their birth, who didn't contribute a kobo to their education or development psychologically damage them. Please before you love another person love yourself. It is very important.

you know who said...

You aren't crazy dear, you're just traumatized. My candid advise is; you're most likely afraid due to the physical and emotional torture meted out to you by your ex(for your own sanity, never refer to him as your husband)and you're propbaly afraid that this new guy could change. Well, you know the new guy more than we do and if he gives u joy and gladdens your heart, allow him access to the child when born. Running away with his pregnancy would give him a bad impression of you. Since u don't want to marry him, explain it to him; let him know that its not his fault that u don't want to get married that you only want to take things slow due to your past experience. If he loves, he'll agree. Take care of your pregnancy and may God see u through to when you deliver.. The only wrong you're doing here is still being technically married, get a divorce asap...

Naan Adams said...

Shit...
I read this chronicle with my mouth opened, walahi things are really happening fa @ poster kai I feel ur pain thank God u ran o if not that man for kill you. Hian as if am watching a movie....... Pls I knw you are hurt but pls don't run with this new guy baby don't hurt someone that has been there for u just like that... Don't forget to keep God close and pls when you decide to return that wicked man's bride price don't allow them to know you are pregnant o I don't want to come and read stories that touches...Good luck

Anonymous said...

I disagree when people say the husband is wicked. Before you go into marriage please LOVE YOURSELF enough to know when to walk away. If you had a child then I can understand what you endured. MAN is not GOD. If a man disrespects you, let him know that you won't stand for it. If he decides to beat you up, please walk away. You can love from afar. Please ask God to reveal the character of the person you get married before you say for better or worse. I can't understand how people will allow someone not there at their birth, who didn't contribute a kobo to their education or development psychologically damage them. Please before you love another person love yourself. It is very important.

AGELESS T said...

It beats me that there are still mem who think infertility is always the fault of women. Cowards.

jelly said...

Dear poster sorry for what you went through in the hands of that monster of a, God is giving you another chance to be happy again please don't reject it not all men are bad, let your parents know what is on ground let them return your pride-prize and seek a good lawyer to work out your divorce. Good luck to you

Licia Nuella said...

i no fit shout.. reading comments. ...hmmm Stella u have got a new bae... #nwanyiAbakalikiwashere

Anonymous said...

Go and read the last paragraph slowly. And I'm not Doppelganger @ anonymous15:59

2muchjuice|2muchsauce said...

Oh Sweetheart..I had to struggle in the office not to cry..It sounds like its an arrangee marriage between you and that scum!! I dont blame you at all for all the decisions you made..But dearie Please go and see a pyschologist or a matured counsellor to help you out cause you are a broken woman..but God help you dear *e-hugs to you**

As for the divorce, Please follow doppelganger advice on how to go about it..God help you..Na wa for life!!

natabombom said...

My dear trash dat bastard ND move on wit the other guy file a suit or divorce against him God has delivered u from hell

Bold Marehi said...

Hmmmmm. I'll just read comment, i wish you safe delivery but please don't take your baby away from the father.

Kiara kiara said...

Yippie!!!!
Congratulations.
You are definitely not crazy to say you don't want to get married again. But I know that marriage is beautiful with the right partner. I have been married, divorced and re-married.
Don't run away with the baby, it doesn't mean you are getting married to him now. Learn to be loved. You deserve all the love, attention, care and pampering my darling. Enjoy it!!
You can make your decision about marriage later.

Kiks said...

Who would go through what you went through and still want a man if it is not by divine intervention. What you endured, I reject for my enemy. Tufiakwa! Who raised these animals in human skin? Young mothers train your sons and daughters well. Lets correct the ills in our society. Train a son you would want for your daughter and vice versa. Poster why is that efulefu threatening you with acid and your parents are alive? Chai! It is well. Do you at the end of the day but I feel it is unfair to the guy you are with now. You would have told him right from the word go the type of relationship you wanted.

Anonymous said...

You are not only crazy, you are foolish!
Why did you not wait to come out of the one that entangled you and jump into another?
This brute you call "husband" can claim that you are promiscuous and he has the proof now.
Why are some women so foolish?
Who told you that having babies outside of marriage will assuage your sorrows?
Whoever told you so lied to you and he is the father of all liars.
Now how do you even convince your parents and his that you are innocent?
He will claim that he caught you with another man on his matrimonial bed and beat both of you.
You see where you've landed yourself?
You must come to equity with clean hands.
God also will not support you for you are living in adultery!
You need time to clean this mess.
The most important thing now is to have your baby safely.
You have brought an innocent child into this war front.
It is only after that that you can appear before a divorce court with the background support of your baby daddy.

Anonymous said...

I got the chills reading ur chronicle...sorry for all u went through in ur first marriage...sincerely I won't give out my daughter @21 to marry...u were too young and naive...however, am glad u moved on b4 he had the opportunity to kill u...sit ur baby daddy down and discuss all ur fears with him but don't run away with his baby...yes, return the bride price and get a divorce properly...God is a God of second chance, this is ur second chance don't throw it away...ur child /children will one day leave u(work, marriage, relocation etc)and then loneliness will hit u...marriage is still OK, so u ll have a companion in old age and a partner to go through life with...life is tough, don't go through it alone except husband doesn't come but if he is ready, pls go with the flow.

Wish u a safe delivery and happy motherhood!

Joy Okanje said...

this is difficult but just tell your guy to calm down for now, don't run away with his child have ur baby and the relationship my dear

ECO said...

You hv said it all.
Best advise ever

Cassandra Carter said...

That your ex husband is a very wicked person o! Haba! Madam plz divorce him. Make sure that people are always around you during the divorce proceedings. However, don't give up on love. Being a single mother is not as easy as it sounds. Not all men are Devils. I can say that for sure cuz i grew up under the roof of a monster and almost refused to marry. Today i am married to a God sent angel in human form.

SWAG LAFRESH said...

Madam, you don't sound crazy.

Firstly, go to the police station and file a report that he's threatening you.

Your family should go and return the bride price. Thenget a lawyer to start the divorce process.

Most of all, you need to see a therapist. Your ex has messed you up psychologically.

You need to give this present guy a chance, you should not run away with his child.

All the best

Ajagbe adeola hannah said...

All these wickedness in the name of marriage, sis, where do I send your kisses to? See, let me talk to you like my own flesh and blood, give love and marriage another chance, move on, you deserve to be happy. Don't you forsake God your maker, he will see you through.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

I fear oh @1&2
Threaten to pour acid on me?? I will promise you that your whole family will be wiped out in 24 hours if you try it. And tell you i have people on standby waiting for the signal to go off. Such timidity is still making you run upandan.
Is he God? Why should he become such a 'deity' in your life? On top marriage and divorce? Hehehe. God help us oh.

Sorry I don't have gist to cushion this one. If I were you i will have that baby first and make sure he/She is safe with the father before I go and battle with such a wicked ex. If you try it while pregnant his ego will make sure you don't have that baby. Explain to current boo that baby is priority. He should hold out on marriage until you have the baby and are strong enough to fight your ex. And he had better be the kind of man who can shut that ex up with his personality and status.

Down to Heart Chic said...

Hmmm! Very touching story. Poster, I pray God heals you cos you have been badly bruised and you really need healing to love again. All the best in this new relationship.

Kendrick's mum said...

Dopple thanks for this advice, Anon maybe u need a spectacle.

Kendrick's mum said...

Sexy daddy c'mon,pregnancy before marriage? Are u kidding me? Sorry to say but that your advice is so out.

Anonymous said...

What rubbish are u spewing. Who cares what the husband says or thinks. She's done with the marriage and the only reason she's yet to divorce him is out of fear for her life.
Dear poster,
You are not crazy. Your fears are rational for all you've been through. I will not advise you go rush and marry the new man just because you are pregnant. You need to heal,learn to love yourself, and regain your self esteem. But do not run again. Honestly, how long will you keep running and denying yourself a chance at love and happiness. Give yourself time and let the new man know if he loves you he should wait till you are ready. The child you are carrying has vindicated you for all you've been through. Be strong.

DON™ said...

Wow... This is serious.

sholetoga said...

Ohhhhhh, odikwa serious something. The Lord is your muscle my dear.......you deserve to be happy and no man will stop you from being happy in Jesus name, Amen

Anonymous said...

Anon 16:57 abeg wetin you advice because I am not understanding. Na abuse you dey give poster abi na advice?

Hadey Halaba said...

I'm happy for you ooo but Chai, you didn't handle the issue well at all.

You are still legally married to him but u are pregnant for another. My sister, you are in deep trouble.

You should have sought divorce first but this mistake will make everything more complicated for you.

And the guy who impregnated you is in deep shit also..... Legally, spiritually and otherwise.

Seek help from seasoned marriage counselors. May God help you.

Hadey Halaba said...

@Doppel
God bless you

@Anon 15:59
Just read the last paragraph. You may even go as far as meditating so you can get the msg

@Poster,
You are beginning to sound selfish, and making irrational decisions.

Hadey Halaba said...

Feel free to divorce after getting pregnant while still married?

He will fish her out and make life more miserable for her. Do you have an idea what mess she landed herself in?

Push up said...

Even if you are not ready to get married again pls return that useless mans bride price, give your parents his address let them go and give him or his people the money, then file, you don't have to be in the same city with him to file plus you can't keep changing city because of a spineless impotent man

Anonymous said...

She is psychologically messed up. I think she needs to start from there.

Anonymous said...

@18:51
You did not understand because you were biased.
Did you not read the advise on the last line?
She should have the baby first before appearing in a divorce court.

Anonymous said...

She sounds crazy and scared. She needs a shrink or counsellor or somebody to help her process what she has been through, and help her move on. She also needs sound advice that will keep her from making mistakes that will mar her future.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

To answer your question: women who say 'men are babies'. That's how the men grow up to become tΓ‘tΓ  true true

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

Can't they return the bride price in your absence? They should be able to. 'They' being your family.

Candid! said...

Poster just listen to chikito. What she said is the absolute truth, u better have that baby first, make sure ure both hale and hearty before u seek out ur ex for a divorce. And babe, u don't need to run away, running never solves anything. I know uve been scarred but u need to stop running. You don't have to go through that pregnancy alone. Stand up for urself this time and tell that man that impregnated you to wait until you've put to bed. Don't remain timid, uve got strength inside of u, u started a business on the road , all by yourself. That's something. Be strong and make wise decisions from now on,uve got a baby coming.

All the best.

Anonymous said...

So I got married in 2012 to a man who turned out to be a monster! He abused me physically, verbally and psychologically! He nearly made me lose my job and After I had my second baby in 2014 I found the strength to leave him! I have been living on my own with my kids since 2015 though we re not officially divorced yet! But if I get a good man n get pregnant who gives a fuck what him or the court thinks so long as I am happy and doing great

SANDY YO said...

Ikegwu @ Beloved! Nsogbu uwa kali.
Poster, You dont sound crazy to me. I can imagine your fears.
Your ex messed up your 'thinking faculty' big time. Good that you left d shege.
I always wonder d kind of hubbys people that normally send in chronicles here meet for real.
Is it that you guys are always too soft/cheap for dem that they mishandle you guys anyhow or how bikonu?πŸ˜•πŸ˜•πŸ˜•πŸ€”
Its really hard for me to understand. Oh chim!!!
Happy that you are preggy now. I dont know why men do have that stinky pride to accept that they could be at fault and know how to tackle such probs together.
You have no option than to settle with this present guy ok. You will be fine but all you can do is try not to tolerate any nonsense of any sort this time around.*phew*
Theres this saying that goes; The hand wey you give person is d hand they will use to follow abi na treat you. Shalom!

SANDY YO said...

Wondering why majority of men are like that though @ your 3rd paragraph. Nawa o!

SANDY YO said...

Gbam!!!

Anonymous said...

do the proper things forget the past and move a head try to forgive an forget divorce properly an move ahead with the new man

Anonymous said...

I just love this dopper chic

Anonymous said...

it's like paying him for another mans offence. U deserve to be loved again. It's OK to be afraid but please have a rethink cos ud really be hurting the new man.

Anonymous said...

Speaking as a lawyer: Three things -

1. It is very very important to get a divorce before you have the baby. Under Nigerian law (there was a case decided many years ago), children born in the context of a marriage belong to the man. This means that if you have the child without divorcing your husband, he can claim that the child is his. I am out of the country so I do not know if that particular decision has been overruled. In fairness to your new Partner and in the eyes of God, it is best that you divorce.

2. Your presence is not required before bride price is returned. At least I have never heard of such a requirement.

3. Getting a formal divorce in abstentia is a bit more tricky because Nigerian law does not allow for what is called no-contest divorce. Problem may arise if your husband challenges the divorce. However it is possible he will not challenge the divorce in which case your presence may not be needed.

If you can, talk to a lawyer who is knowledgeable about Nigerian Family Law.

May God grant you wisdom and courage.

Pharaoh D 7th said...

Anon 16.57 men your anger is very potent. Whatever has happened to you, please forgive.

Next time take a deep breath and write without abusive words

Anonymous said...

They don't sign divorce papers in Nigeria. I wonder were u guyz get this "signing divorce papers" mentality from πŸ€”.If she went to registry with the guy, she will file for divorce in an high court. There will be trial too only if the man refuses to come to court after evidence of service of the case on the husband is before the court. So of he wants to defend the suit, fine! It is not as easy as "signing some papers"

Anonymous said...

Emeka ugwuonye bawo? U want her to use her Toto to pay? Don't go to emeka ooo...

SANDY YO said...

Correct Chiki fire.πŸ‘Š

Alhaja said...

Just forget and move on

Anonymous said...

@ HADEY Halaba, arevu Stupid orvjust plain insane. @ poster wait until u deliver, then fike for divorce. Dont let us ex know u are pregnant

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