Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Saturday, 26 August 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Na wah!







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SMOKING LE BOO


Good Day Stella,


I'm an ardent reader of your blog. I really need your red pen on this. I'm in a serious relationship with this guy and i know him to be a smoker but before we started dating he told me that he was in the process of trying to quit and i honestly believed him.

Six months ago, i noticed he still smokes and when i tried talking to him about it he had a million and one reason to justify himself. This was when i realized that he actually has an addiction problem.


I love him a lot and i really want to help him quit this habit but he's not open to any of the ideas I've suggested to him. I suggested him going to a rehab but he came up with the excuse that he can't afford one and that he can't leave his work.


I'm thinking of telling his father because he adores his father a lot and listens to him but i don't know how the man will react to the news. On the other hand, i'm thinking of talking to his pastor too which he doesn't want me to.


I just don't know what else to do. I really want to help him because this addiction of his is seriously messing him up in terms of work, education (he's writing ACCA exams) and generally his life.


I would really appreciate your advice and also names of any cheap rehab facilities in Nigeria. Thank you and kindly keep me anonymous.



huh?You want to report him to all these people you mentioned because he smokes?OMG...Are you kidding me?Respect your Man's privacy!!!

Quitting smoking is a personal choice and unless he is convinced to quit,Nothing you do or say will work
Instead of reporting him to all these people who might even have worse addictions,why dont you send him scary writeups to read concerning smoking?show him photos of how smokers end up...stuff like that might work better than what you plan.

He should go to Rehab?Rehab is one of the places smoking addiction gets worse.lol


94 comments:

Miss Ess said...

It takes forever and determination for a smoker to quit. It all depends on him. Maybe threaten him with the relationship.

Blackberry said...

The only problem I have with smokers is their breath! Oh lawd! It's a mood killer.
Smoke ur ciggy far from me,
It's not my lungs!
I'll just be cheering u on...lol
Just put me in charge of ur estate, lol.

DoppelgΓ€nger said...

An addiction is not something that you just wake up and stop doing. It takes time and the person has to be willing to quit. You mentioned rehab like you don't live in Nigeria. How is smoking affecting his work? Does he smoke while working and mind you some companies allow staff to take a break and smoke outside. Do not report him to anyone against his will, he is an adult not your child or ward. Just admit that you don't like it personally which is understandable but be gentle about it with him instead of going the reporting way,if you report him it would either make him resent you or start hiding it from you. Also, you need to be sure that he even wants to quit, it's possible he told you that to placate you. If smoking is a deal breaker for you then you know what to do. Many people quit smoking and pick it up again.

Anonymous said...

Nigerian babe with stupid mentality & issues..! Not a do or die affair abeg.if you cant stand him 'just fuck off or go into 100daysfasting n prayer MtschewwπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Atheist ™ said...

This is a researched fact: An addict will not do anything about their addiction until it hurts more to continue than it does to stop, no matter the kind of addiction... be it alcohol, smoke, porn, sex, gambling, mumu love to the wrong person etc. He hasnt reached that point yet, its a personal fight from within.

Anonymous said...

Stella from her writeup I'm guessing it's not cigarette that the guy smokes. cigarette can't affect his work and education like she stressed here. the guy smokes Indian hemp, gum, cannabis, marijuana, cow dung, and that other one (can't remember the name now). these are the ones that can affect ones life.
My dear poster, you can't change him, he will only be hiding it from you if he loves you enough and wants to keep you by force. So my advice is that if you can't bear his smoking habit, leave him alone so that another girl who will even smoke with him can locate him. Stop disturbing his life, it is not by force, Abi man don finish? I also hate the smell of cigarette so I married a man who doesn't smoke from his youth days.

Anonymous said...

Once it is marriage, most feminine brains stops working.
You want to change a chain smoker overnight?
When did you become the savior?

Chike TEFLON said...

Poster if you love him marry him because if you think he will stop smoking, My dear you must be on a long thing because it will never happen unless he decide to stop.

Anonymous said...

You want to create your "Mr. Perfect"
So you are now the creator and wife all in one?
Make una carry softly ladies. If you push him too hard, he will "stop" and do so behind your back and when you marry he will smoke in arrears. Maybe im go collect ganja join am.

Firstlady blessing said...

U can't change someone who isn't willing to change,u better borrow sense now before it is too late. Love is not enough for marriage, there are so many things to consider.

Be Humble. Sit Down. said...

More people successfully quit smoking when they use some sort of nicotine therapy than by almost any other measure. This could involve applying a nicotine patch, using nicotine lozenges, or any other form of nicotine therapy.

What this does is, hopefully, reduce the amount of nicotine going into your body. Gradually, you decrease the amounts you are taking each day and finally get rid of the nicotine and nicotine replacement entirely. This weans your body off of smoking slowly without having to just cut back on cigarettes over time. You will still feel the effects of nicotine on your body, but you won’t be suffering from all the negative effects of smoking a cigarette. It’s not the safest way to quit smoking, but it works the best for the largest number of people.

code009 said...

Don't report him, he may not listen. Talk to him with love, discuss your future with him about kids and family and how smoking habit can ruin it. How will he mentor your kids with such habits. This might work together with the write-ups Stella suggested

Anonymous said...

@least he isn't cheating. Keep talking to him yes send him pic and notes of after effect. I lost a cousin this year cause he refused every advice given to him to stop smoking 🚬.

2muchjuice|2muchsauce said...

Dear Poster: You are not the Holy Spirit, you cant change him unless he decides he will change..Stop forcing him, he is an adult not a kid..

Its not by force, if you cant date a guy who smokes , then go date any other guy...Are u that desperate that it must be him..You will regret it if you go ahead and report him to his father..Dont go and carry market, you cant sell..Be wise

natabombom said...

My dear if u like call all or tell the whole pastors in Nigeria if he is not ready to quit nothing can be done it require self determination.

Vincent said...

Nawa o
Aunty Class Captain
Reporter General sit your man down and talk to him with write ups and pictures like Stella suggested.

Anonymous said...

U entered in other to change him my dear if u are entering a relationship just to change the other person u might end chasing yourself out of that relationship. If u don't love then for who dey are don't embark on the journey u might end up hurting ur feelings.

Sharumi said...

Smokers are liable to die young slogan does not work jack on smokers. Leave him and his baggage if you can't handle.

Bubul said...

You are childish to want to involve his father in this. The best way to make a smoker stop is taken it easy with him . Why do you women always want to change a man ? You better use your tongue to count your teeth. You can bring him to reduce it but droping it completly will take time . If you truely love him , then take it easy n don't involve his papa

Anonymous said...

You are still a child. If you cannot support him then please go and look for a non-smoker to marry.

Anonymous said...

The reason he smoking intensified was because of the exam it helps make one more attentive....

Blackberry said...

Ask her.

Chidinma Grace said...

He is the only one that can stop himself. Believe me because if you force him to some extent, he will start tricking you into believing he has stopped. Then after you marry him, any little provocation, he will go back and blame you for all his problems.

Anonymous said...

My dear, better let him go. He's not gonna stop unless he really really wants to even then he may not be able to. You will now be a second hand smoker. Your kids also. My dear leave him behind. Forget wetin Stella dey yarn. He knows smokers will die young, no be today yansh dey back

jay urchy said...

Poster he is an adult,you shouldn't report him. If you report him, he might be hiding to smoke.

I know a man that was addicted to cigarette,his wife tried all she could and he wouldn't stop. I have witnessed his wife hiding his sticks and he ll threatened to beat her up if she doesn't bring it out.

His wife reported to his family, everyone talked all they could,still he kept smoking.

This man smokes more than 20 sticks a day. His wife starting blending garlic and other stuff for him to be drinking, just to clear his heart I guess.

Well,the man is dead now. His heart was damaged. Doctors told him it was too late that they couldn't do anything. He didnt still stop smoking.He was waiting for death still smoking. ADDICTION!

My dear talk to him as much as you can. He should be the one asking for help.

Empress CHO said...

Dear poster, you sound quite like a child.
You will report him as the class monitor that you are.
He is not willing to give up smoking and you cannot manage a smoker,so what is your issue here?
You somehow believe that your love is greater than his addiction and would overpower it. Better stop deluding yourself this instant and allow commonsense seep through your head.
Love comes with responsibility true,not hard labour.
It is not in your place to take up a messianic role in his life and limit the dedication and joint partnership you should enjoy in a relationship into a one-sided 'Save a Lung for Love' project.

You should be concerned that this grown ass man is blowing hot and cold about something as major as his health, meaning other areas especially Marital vows, which is your ultimate goal obviously, can be easily tampered with and discarded.
Also, you are at risk of lung cancer probably as a passive smoker. In issues of women and love, it is best to be justly selfish. Know when to cut your loss and move on. I might seem an advocate of move on and all, but that is because i know there is someone for everyone, no matter how crazy or stupid. This love you are dragging alongside a deal breaker will wear you out.

If he becomes desperate to keep you if he senses you are at your wits end and pretends to quit, you will be the ultimate fool at the end. What will be worse...you will be married to him by then. What will become of you then?
You will be the lady who is betrayed by an unrepentant and pretentious hubby, would be smarting from your failed messianic moves, probably will be battling with other vices from your now brazen husband, afterall you have been tied down with a ring and you will be sending a more caustic chronicle by that time. Apply wisdom and do not force-change someone you did not create. Love with sense and stop courting trouble.

Anonymous said...

Sorry why do you want to stop him from smoking? Except for health reasons and I don't think it's something you can stop him by reporting him to people instead you will loose him. Does he smoke weed? My husband is a smoker and I talk to him about stopping it but I can't threaten him and I know some day he will quit.. Personally I don't have a problem with smoking.. It's better than alcohol...

And my Dad use to be a chronic smoker but he stopped it on his own no one forced him.. It's either you love him with his smoking or you leave him...

Kwikwi said...

Don't you know there is etiquette in dealing with people? What gives you the right to report him to his father plus I don't quite get the pastor thingy. Must every thing become a religious matter.
You love him yes but that's his life and his habit. If you cannot tolerate this habit you might as well leave while you have time .
Most of you have read several chronicles here but it's as if all advice are never internalised or retained. You will stick with him for more years and after marriage come back to right us more chronicles about why you have to divorce him because of this same habit.
You are the owner of your body and mind , therefore you have more knowledge about things you can tolerate or not. So you better reanalyse your options and act accordingly.

PS... why are people always hooked on reporting everything to pastors? Do they report there matter to you? Please do not escalate a situation down the wrong route.

Anonymous said...

Someone dat is nt yet married to u,u disturbing urself about his smoking habits?if u can't stand d heat den get d fucking he'll out of d kitchen! U had beta not play wit fire!let dat guy be!he can't just change suddenly becos u want him to change!its gona tk him time,besides if u knw u can't stand his smoking y not just free him?abi relationship na by force?u hv a choice rit now u know bah? Better waka far!free d guy now!

Atheist ™ said...

If hes a human chimney it wouldnt be easy oh.

Anonymous said...

True talk.

princey 123 said...

You can't stop anyone from doing what they really want to do especially an adult. So its either you take them the way the are or you leave.

Anonymous said...

Thank you that's the word resentment

Gigantic said...

CRAY is what describes you best. Lmao

Anonymous said...

Madam Stella has just said my mind. I don't usually comment on Chronicles but have to give my input on this. Young Lady, I advice you mind ur business because the guy can condone reporting him to his father but to his pastor is NO NO NO. Even taking such issue to his father can cause heart attack to the old man and destroy his relationship with his father. You entered into a man's life that is yet to be ur husband and you want to take control of his life. Be ready to end the relationship with him if you dare report him to either of those persons you mentioned. If you have a job, you should mind ur business. If the kola is too bitter to shew you vomit and walk away from the relationship. How do you know smoking is affecting him? Are you a Doctor or God? Do you know that 60% of guys that smoke hides it from wife/girlfriend? A word is enough for the wise. #MINDYOURBUSINESS

Anonymous said...

Imagine if she even has her own addiction e.g. food if she's an orobo or gossip if she does tatafo
Nigerian women kontinu to carry our men's issues on your head. After all your prayers and improvement program he'll marry one foreigner.

Gigantic said...

Come get a hug darling. I'm sure she doesn't like smoking, but hiding under the circumstance of " I want him to turn a new leaf".

Yee shall "tey" there woman.

Gigantic said...

May you be blessed Anon 15:08.

Bibire said...

He will only stop smoking when he's ready so stop ,all this reporting to his father and pastor won't work,he will learn to hide it well.Smoking is more addictive than alcohol.My in law doesn't smoke inside the house or in the presence of his wife,he respects her space and he stopped smoking when his son always wanted to follow him everywhere and he doesn't want the boy to see him smoke.So poster stop all the threats,it won't work at all,he will hide it from you and smoke more

Gigantic said...

I'm sure this poster can see Atheist's 100cent. Wisdom is profitable to humans

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

*phew*
So where were we?
I dont know who or what makes most if us believe that we can change a man's choices. Don't get me wrong, you can assist him with making the right choice but the decision has to come from him FIRST. If that doesn't happen you will most likely be wasting your time. This is applicable to alot of things: habits (smoking, excessive drinking, partying, flirting), money management, religion, handling family etc. If the man doesn't realise that his current approach isnt helping matters and make a personal determination to change - you'd go in circles.
Don't report him to his dad or Pastor. That's a fail because he's a man not baby that needs to be pushed. this is strictly between both of you so keep it at that and he may not even want them in his business. If it's too tough to handle you guys can take a break.
Please stop this belief that you can change a man. A woman is supposed to be a helpmate not get to steer things in the preferred direction for a man. Its easier when its the reverse because men are naturally born to lead. But you will be stepping on his ego if you keep going back and forth in an issue. Its better you accept that and pray that he comes to a realisation soon; or you bounce.

Elastic said...

I quit smoking 🚭 since 2003 and currently I can't even stand the smell... Nobody talked me into it and nobody talked me out of it... But an event made me quit. Funny story... I saw a friend bruised an old man after 'highness', the guys(including me) around couldn't take it and we rounded the guy and beat the hell out of him, how dare he touched an elderly man? The thought of his misbehavior influenced my decision to quit the habit instantly and I havent tasted or even tempted to taste it since 2003.


DontQuoteMe™

Gigantic said...

Are you mindig her? Small time, she will come back with another chro chro like that " chronicle poster" who wants SM show off, but ignored when the bloke threatened to call of wedding while still in the relationship. I wonder if these ppl use their brains @ all. Or us it just for fashion?

Gigantic said...

Lmao@ ganja

Gigantic said...

EPP me sound it to her hearing again.

IJAY said...

Hmm poster don't upset more, you seriously want to report him to his father and Pastor, haba, I don't even know what to say, he will stop smoking himself, pls don't report anybody biko

Gigantic said...

In fact, I see the * desperate* part and I'm thinking, someone else is seeing things from my angle

Gigantic said...

Gbam!!!

Gigantic said...

Shikena.

Carina K Jacob said...

Nice one.

Anonymous said...

Poster you didn't specify on what he smokes. Weed or cigs? Which one

Anonymous said...

I'm a girl and I smoke cigarettes too. Trust me is not easy to quit once u've been smoking for long. I still pray that God will free me from this addiction. Every month I spend around 120 euros for cigarettes. Money that I could save up. As a matter of fact after this last packet that I just opened I will try to stop smoking. May God help me. It's all about determination and self control. He should keep himself busy.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

And if it has gotten to a point where it is affecting his life (as you stated) and he can't see that its a problem, then he too has a problem. You don't want to be with a man who can't reflect on serious issues. Being able to reflect critically on personal issues is a sign of maturity.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

Ah! Similar to what I wrote in my comment.

Kwikwi said...

Nicotine doesn't make you high. Unless you are referring to 'skunk'?

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

How are you my darling?

sholetoga said...

Poster.......dont report him to anybody oh because he might not take it lightly. Let the conviction come from his heart himself.....and continue praying for God to touch his heart

HighlyFavoured said...

If he's addicted to it, nothing u do will make him stop. Reports to d mentioned persons wouldn't too. He might try to hide it, but can't stop.
He must first, be willing to stop it. Which doesn't guarantee he would.
Then, ask God for help to stop, while seek necessary steps/procedure to stop it.
So, if u can't stand someone DAT smokes, jejely leave now; cos sooner or later, he wouldn't give a damn about ur opinion on d subject matter. And any statement against it, might begin to aggravate him.

DON™ said...

Is it your smoking? Abeg free him for another girl and go and marry your pastor.. Rubbish

DON™ said...

Yimu

DON™ said...

Abi o @Kiwikwi

DON™ said...

Are you minding her, just because the guy allowed her to know. Carry am for head o, like expired gala

DON™ said...

End of!

Anonymous said...

That's if im no dey smoke ganja already.

Omasiri said...

Doppel I sent a mail to you

Anonymous said...

It's easy if you mean it. I'm a woman like you and I have been smoking for a loooong time. It even caused a lot of quarrel between my husband and I.
One day I bought a pack finished it and promised myself I won't do it again. Since them I haven't smoked and I feel better. It's gotten to the extent that I ask if I am still the same person.
Poster leave him if you can't stand his smoking. Love cannot make him stop. All the adverts and pictures in the world cannot make him stop until he decides to stop. One day he will stop and it will not be because of you. So my dear if you cannot endure the smoke take a walk before your love ends in a very bitter fight.

Wale said...

I've been an addicted smoker for 26yrs(since my university days in 91)got married 14yrs ago. Church members won't believe i smoke, not that it changes anything anyway,but one reason i have come to realise that i can NEVER leave my wife is because i realise that only few people will ever allow you to be yourself. She has tolerated me for so long that i am so indebted to her that i can't even see myself living with another woman.
My point is that the more a woman tries to change a man to your own desire the more likely you are to lose him, this is one critical lessons most girls have refused to learn

Chike TEFLON said...

My Chikito, ugegbe oyibo m 1 worldwide I'm very fine.
Are you free? We have a party to attend tonight my love 😘

Chike TEFLON said...

Ugegbe m help me tell her, people change because they want to change.

Chike TEFLON said...

Ugegbe m you have nothing to correct in me because I'm not an addict, so everything is correct, inugo?

Chike TEFLON said...

Elastic my manchi, I thank God for your life. I have never smoke anything before. I love my brain and I don't want to go mad abeg.

Cynthia Iyede said...

Report him you say? Babe don't start what you can't end. If you report him, he might resent you and the relationship you're trying to preserve will turn sour, he's not kid you know and guys don't like others putting their mouth in their business.

All you can do is to keep advising, praying for him. If you know you can't stand his habit, give him a break but don't settle for what you can't condone else you'll regret it.

Cynthia Iyede said...

πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€ calm down bro.

Red Wine said...

Poster you should not waste your time in reporting him to anyone, you better leave that relationship if you cannot cope with a chain smoker. He will not change if he is not ready to change.

Love.Eating.Pussy said...

Lmao...BBQ so u won't mind if he smokes himself into a grave abi

All you want is ATM password and estate manager.
you are a bad girl chai!πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…


LEPπŸ˜›

St.FranKooL.... said...

#Who you WERE, who you ARE, and who you WILL BECOME are all different people. Keep working on yourself*

DoppelgΓ€nger said...

@Omasiri,I have sent you two emails. Please check your spam.

Anonymous said...

Amen to una prayers.

treasure BB said...

Madam poster, walk away If you can't tolerate his smoking habits.. Jes like it's nat easy to walk away cos of the love u have for him, same way he wouldn't be able to drop this smoking of a thing cos he loves doing it.. don't report him to anyone cos there's nafin anyone can do about it, he only can drop that act of his.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

This black berry is a case πŸ˜‚

Anonymous said...

Why report him to all these people? We all have our addictions abeg. If u cant cope with his smoking, then let him be

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

Thank God this is coming from a man. Men changers everywhere. Sh*t gets me so upset.

Elastic said...

Ikwikwi.. Common sense should tell you I dont mean cigarette.


DontQuoteMe™

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

Okay my dear πŸ˜‰

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

Oho! Internal motivation. Simple

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

Exactly my analysis! I questioned a friend of mine recently. He smokes at least 2 packets everyday since he was 21. He started at 17. He was now complaining about naija, biz and all. I told him he smokes at least 2 packs for 14 years. That if he even reduced to less than 2 and used the extra money (I really don't know how much these things are sold cos I can't be bothered) to buy dollars when it was N150 or had it put daily in a piggy bank he would have some cool cash by now. He said it's true but he can't. Smoking has ruined his recent relationships cos the guy has pedigree and wants to marry classy focused girl that would fit into his profile/background, but his habit puts them off. Abroad they give smoking breaks, but in Nigeria they dont. Idiot (God forgive me) will go for interview and be requesting for smoke breaks, cos he cant even hide it. His teeth stains nko? Na die. For me, when I think of wasted funds i can cut any looming addiction. Cant play with my money like that 😐

Anonymous said...

This chronicle writer is a very judgemental psycho!
U don't Obama is a smoker too?

If u love him enough & can tolerate his bad habit, then politely ask him not to smoke inside the house or in the car or anywhere at least close proximity to u!!!
Then helo him explore ways to end his smoking habits.
Ok!

Ur just whinning & showing urself as very nasty & irritable girl or an unhinged woman to be close to.

Atheist ™ said...

talk true chikito...
In otherwords *side eyes*..... we think in same frequency?

HeritageCouture said...

@DoppelgΓ€nger I always raise Beyonce hand πŸ™Œ for u anytime andday ur advice is always on point...

angel said...

una no try at all o. Me eh will leave d guy to smoke jejely so far he doesn't do it b4 me. I once dated a guy dat smokes. b4 den i asked him if he smokes he said no. each tym we meet i get d stink. me kukuma ignored his habit. i avoided kiss.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

Leave me joor. I'm tired. Just give me tea ☕️ and massage 😝

Anonymous said...

When you guys send Chronicles, please have the common sense to include pertinent details.
Poster you should have emphasized that your boo smokes cannabis, skunk etc and not 50 naira Benson and Hedges.
To anybody this is a deal-breaker.

When you want to get into a relationship, ASK if the individual has any addictions.
If they say yes, that they're working on it, tell them to come back when they're true. Simple.

Anonymous said...

There are a lot of misconceptions about smoking, like yesterday my girlfriend said she thought smoking was illegal, in the Sam ranks as weed, and she also thinks it is mind altering, I.e it gets you high.

Olivia Silk Loves Tokio Myers (OLSTM) said...

πŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘.

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