Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Wednesday, 9 August 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

OhMyGoodness!







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ONE CHANCE WEDDING


Hi Stella. 


This is for my friend. Am so confused on the advice to give her at this point. 


She's almost 30 working as a secretary in a big pentecostal church. 

So There was this guy that was coming around her. He's a widower though still young in his late 30s. He seemed serious said he wanted to settle down with her asap. Though they were just friends, my friend told me then she wasn't so sure she wanted to settle with him because of his marital status. on the outside the guy seemed cool and all.


Sometime around Easter period He invited her over to his place so she could get to know where he stayed and all and for her to get to know him better too. She agreed and honoured the invitation. Only for this beast to drug her drink and rape her.

 Imagine being disvirgined at that age through rape. She was devastated. She told me about it 2weeks after it happened. She cried and cried. I wanted us to go report the case at police station but she refused saying she was not emotionally fit for the humiliation that might come with it and that he has been calling and sending text messages begging for her forgiveness. I asked her if she had any medication for prevention of pregnancy and HIV. She casually said she did but like 3 days after as she was too devastated to leave her house earlier and she hadn't told anyone then.


About a month later when she called me on the phone sobbing hysterically I could barely hear her, she said a pregnancy test she took came out positive. I froze. I visited her later, she was so devastated she even threatened she would kill herself. I advised her to open up to her family(her elder brothers and sister as their parents are late) at this point.

 Though she was reluctant but eventually She did. Her elder sister just kept crying the whole time.


I was shocked when her elder brother said that the guy would see their true colour if he ends up not marrying her as their family was a Christian family n hence will not involve in abortion neither would she have a bastard in her fathers house. When she said they didn't even ask her if she wanted to be married to the guy one of the brothers became very angry and told her she should never have visited him in the first place if she knew she wouldn't want to be his wife. 


She said they took the guys contact then. Her sister later told us that When he learned of her pregnancy (as my friend cutoff communication with him) he kept apologising and promised he was ready to marry her... 

From the enquiries I and my friend made about this guy from his neighbours and a colleague of his that happened to be my friend, the guy used to beat his late wife even while she was pregnant. 

The neighbours claimed he had beaten her mercilessly one day and she went into preterm labour at seven months, one of the neighbours drove her to hospital. She had complications after childbirth which was a still born and died about a month later, they said they were sure the complications came from the beatings. But the guy claimed his wife died partly of complications from childbirth but majorly due to heartbreak from losing her child. 


Even with all these information about him her brothers still insist on the marriage going on. She remained adamant though. Around middle of July she said the pastors wife where she worked called her into her office and asked her if she was pregnant. She said yes and she asked her to tender her resignation letter the following week just like that. That was how she lost her job in the midst of all these. She told me about her job last week when i called to check up on her. just yesterday she chatted me up to say that her family have already fixed a date with the guys family for the introduction. She feels she has no other choice but to just flow with them as she has no job anymore to sustain her through the the pregnancy and childbirth and her family has told her they were not ready to assist her in bringing a bastard into the world not withstanding the fact that this man is a rapist and wife beater.


 She says the guy still calls to beg her and maybe he has changed for good. The introduction is in two weeks time. I've run out of advice for her. Am really sad.

Is there a way out of this for her?


Raped and pregnant and she is willing to marry her abuser?

*Tell your friend to go the Pastor and tell him what happened,which is what she should have done in the first place if she couldnt go to the Police...she should have told the Pastors wife as well that she was raped by a church member.
This is so horrible...dont even know what to say!

154 comments:

Daenerys_targaryen(For your organic soap and cream���� what's app 08112237061) said...

Hmmm

Miss Ess said...

My God! Guy is a violent man and I bet he would do same to your friend. I would rather she have the baby and tell the whole world what she heard from his neighbours. Marrying him is a disaster, she won't have peace in that house.

Ms SSS a.k.a stunning slim shady said...

Kronicles is here



*spreads dollar crested rug*

Rocky said...

What the fuck is wrong with our society? A woman was drugged and raped by a fucking wife beater and they fucking want her to get married to him for the sake of religion??!!! That's how some group of people refused to vote in the faculty elections because they are Jehovah Witnesses, rubbish!!!!

Your friend shouldn't get married to this stupid man, fuck society and religion! She'll do well to train her child else, she'll end up raising a nuisance like his father!!

Yes, this is fucking personal for me!

sexy Daddy said...

This chronicle past me walahi!

Let me read comments for today!

Anonymous said...

is it the Pastor's wife or Pastor that will answer her after they sacked her just like that without any help? My dear Poster, except she gets financial help before then she should just go with the flow and see if she can get some money or another job before the actual wedding to just relocate to another town/ country/ house. Introduction does not mean anything. She should sha not get married to that guy.

Lipstickalley said...

Jesus, he should be made to bear the consequences in some other way other than marrying the girl. Useless man

LOLO IDEATO said...

Pastors and pastors wives of Pentecostal churches nowadays are very heartless, instead of proffer help, they'll gossip about her to other pastors and heads of units.

The pastor might even use her experience as a scenario in church.

I pray wisdom falls on her! May I never find myself in s useless Pentecostal church. Amen

MonkeyNoFineTheTafiaMama said...

Y do Nigerians value church to the extent they lost their sense! Devil will just be at one corner laughing real hardhisssssssss

BLOGLORD (MVBM) said...

Tell your friend not to marry an abuser.
How did his first wife die again???
And her brothers are pushing her to marry same person. I am afraid those ones don't love their sister as well


She should get her pastor involved for counselling

But I repeat do not marry that man.

A man that can drug and rape you screams irresponsible, wicked and evil.

Stay away from him!

Duchess said...

This is disheartening, I don't know what to say. Jesus pls fix this

Madam Small Chops said...

Chai!!! This is so touching and brings back sad memories.

Well the deed has been done,she needs to forgive him and forgive herself but don't marry him.How will the brothers clearly push her into an abusive marriage.Who wants to be inlaws with a man who drugged and raped gf /beats ex wife? Haba now!!!Na wah!

She's an adult for Christ sake so let her stand up for herself.I pity her more cos she has no source of livelihood.

Dear Lord please show up for your daughter.Let your will be done.

Gladys Chinyere said...

What is hmmmm? Re u sure u read & understood all that under 30 secs? U just wanna be the first to comment abi?

treasure BB said...

Oh.. this is so bad... how will she live with that guy knowing fully well he raped her causing her so much pain.. all these families ehn carrying church matter for head.. the decision is too harsh.... if she won't be able to cope with that monster of a guy, she should jes birth her baby and move on.. she was working abi?? Or she didn't save???

CharisMAtic DIVA said...

Wow!
😲😲

Brothers from hell
Husband to be from hell
Pastor's wife from...err..church!

Pheww!

Atheist ™ said...

Well, her brother must be a true believer in the bible, following it word for word...
According to Mosaic law, “If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay the girl’s father 50 shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her, he can never divorce her as long as he lives” (Deuteronomy 22:28–29) Now isn’t that barbaric? Where are those that usually attack me on this blog?? come and xplain oh, make an atheist understand.

Minnie Rexpect said...

I was sure you said 30 but going through the story it felt like you were talking about a teenager, I had to scroll back up.
Who does that to a grown adult. Like she has no say in that decision? Unless she really wants the marriage, I don't see why she'd be complying especially after what the monster did.
She should leave the environment where her brothers are and go stay with any friend or relative that is sympathetic to her case.
She shouldn't bother telling the pastor cos he is most likely going with her brothers on this.
I pray she finds the strength to carry on.

Chike TEFLON said...

She suppose to report that idiot to the police in the 1st place.
That your friend is too cool.
No advice for her.
Some men are stupid and wicked. Why rape a girl... There are many girls that can give their tohtoh willingly.


Poster tell her God is her strength.

Shantelle's Empire said...

What if the pastor tells her to go with her abuser to cover her 'shame' since he's willing to marry her.
Afterall some of these pastors encourage women to stay with abusive partners. No be naija again...
Her brothers wont live with her. Let her make her choice.

Love.Eating.Pussy said...

This is absolute rubbish, so at 30 she doesn't have the strength to confront her rapist or tell her pastor about her predicament.

Why are some women soo dull and soft like this.

At 30 they want to force you into marriage and you accepted such rubbish knowing fully well that he is a wife beater that may kill you someday.

Poster tell your friend to report the issue to the church and she should insist that he pay for the upkeep of his child but she should not marry him out of threat from her brothers or fear of being a baby mama.

It is better to be alone with God and her unborn baby than to be married out of shame and fear.

The life is too precious to keep in the hands of a wife beater😀😀😀



LEPπŸ˜›

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

Pastor wife dikwa very wicked oooo. Imagine telling her to resign. Wetin pastor wife dey do for the husband office? All these mrs. pasitors that will not rest at all. what a shame and could not wait for the lady to tell her what happened.

The lady self dikwa foolish sha. Keeping quiet and now she wants to enter into that one chance where she will eventually die. Anyway am sure you the writer will tell us when the guy beat her and she died, you will send us another chronicle.

Na wa oooo

Villager said...

doze are the kines of broaders one shool prey aganes haffin...

God epp me, dart repist laif wool Neva haff remaned the sem no more.... an my sis wheel Neva marri such hediot.. my perents can go an teck plenti sits if dey Eva eva risen diss way

Imoh Sandra said...

I don't know why some girls are so dumb,something happened instead of you to start by informing the church,or police,you are there keeping quiet and even considering marrying him,oga ooo,just know that the abuse will not stop,and the problem will get worse when he marrys you.

Anonymous said...

Stella advice is the best for now. If she was smart sharp enough there's nothing wrong in abortion D&C in this type of situation now the foetus is grown she should go to the church and tell them. I don't think marrying this guy is the best solution the guy is a monster he is unrepentant that's why he forced her he may not even drug her he may overpower her.I have been raped two times not a virgin and the guy went to the bathroom to wear a condom before carrying the act. Guy like that are wicked who knows May be he truly loves her and won't abuse her but 90% chance of being an abuser

Imoh Sandra said...

I don't know why some girls are so dumb,something happened instead of you to start by informing the church,or police,you are there keeping quiet and even considering marrying him,oga ooo,just know that the abuse will not stop,and the problem will get worse when he marrys you.

Anonymous said...

Poster please tell your friend to follow Stella's advice. She shouldn't have handed her resignation without the church knowing the truth. Let her tell the pastor and if she still has the text messages she can show as proof. That man needs to be disciplined and must pay for the child's upkeep whatever she does she must not marry the man.

Patience said...

@30 and your friend is still pushed around by her siblings....really??. Hope she is aware that marriage is forever and to think of a partner that is allegedly violent and rapes is enough reason to say no..notwithstanding the pregnancy. @friend.....Keep your baby, do not marry that man you will regret it, If your siblings denies help, it's not an end.....Tell your Pastor or the wife or your church mentor. Well...I wonder why siblings won't support each other, they are meant to have your back and not push you into Hell.

Anonymous said...

Plenty options
1..Relocate, find a job no matter how menial and have your baby
2.Flush d baby out and claim u miscarried.
Either ways U alone can decide but DO NOT MARRY him.

Uriel (Freshdew) said...

Your friend should forget that marriage. Marriage built on rape, she has every right to walk away from this. Nobody should force her into what she does not want to go into. She will survive if they throw her out of the house, she has to brace herself up. Yea she should go and speak with the pastors wife like someone up there πŸ‘† suggested.

P.S- Always report a rape case and immediately go to a hospital for drugs.

Anonymous said...

She better not marry that wicked mistake of a person. She should also report the issue to the pastor like Stella said, he is a church member for crying out loud! I dnt just know why did she not open up to the pastor when she was firing her...eishhh. 30year old behaving like this..

THELMA'S CAKE WORLD said...

She shouldn't go ahead with the introduction no matter what, how dare her brother try forcing the marriageon her!!!, Will he receive the kicks and beating on her behalf when it starts? How about the verbal and emotional abuses?......her brother is myopic albeit he's tryna face his sister's face...
She shouldn't be pressurized into marrying her abuser......

Let her report to the church authority.

Anonymous said...

I know someone who was raped at 13, yes at 13. She gave birth to the child and later went back to school, she even did a professional course(got married and have her own kids now) My dear is not the end of the world. I wont even advice my enemy to marry someone that raped her. Be the Judas and take your stand, your brother should fuck off(His anger will wear off). God will raise helpers for you, forget that intro run πŸƒπŸƒπŸƒ for your life. Disappear the day of the intro. You deserve better.

Anonymous said...

Its not barbaric but common sense, because in olden days not being a virgin is similar to damaged goods😯

Anonymous said...

Once it comes to marriage, the feminine brain stops working. How can a 30 year old girl behave like a toddler.
Supposing;
She did not visit him?
And if she visited in the company of a brother of hers/church member as a chaperon?
And when raped, she could have told the pastor and wife at least to safeguard her job and have option of self-survival?
She's got pieces of evidence; doesn't she -the begging text messages etc?
And why doesn't a girl of that age know that she should go to a hospital to be treated after rape?
Has she done a HIV test?
Even now;
She can decide not to go ahead with the marriage.
And report to the church authorities what happened to her.
And tell her family that she can't marry a rapist and a wife beater.

Anonymous said...

The brother is right; why did she visit him if she knew she wasn't going to marry him?
Why didn't she get the "wife beater and killer" info before going to his house?
She got it wrong from the outset.

Derby Derbra said...

Stella, don't be shocked if she explained it all to the church( poster might have skipped that) and church still sees her as been dirty and unworthy of the post of "a church secretary"... yes!! Thats the world we live in now. You think "pastor's wife wouldn't have asked how? Most pastor's wife have this annoying sense of entitlement..

To the poster, if her friend who helped in sending this chronicle is financially ok or can at least feed 3mouths pending the time her friend can stand on her own, she should let her move in with her.

Why would a 30year old lady's life be dictated like that of a child from an elder brother?? Ma'am, please do not make the mistake of marrying that man.. If you stand your ground, your brother can't do anything. I dnt understand sef, will he flog you?? Its because he sees that sign of weakness and he has chosed to ride well on it.

God forbid, its better to even birth the child under the bridge than live with that man. He will ist start with verbal abuse to break down your walls before upgrading to beating.. Pls pls pls , do not make the mistake

Brain and Beauty. said...

So she should marry an abusive man cos of a mosaic
law???The guy is a rapist for crying out loud and I don't think any reasonable person will support the marriage.



Fab Mum said...

She's 30 years for crying out loud. So at 30, she's still sit down and allow her siblings take decision for her? Is she a baby? So what if she doesnt have a job? Please unless she's ready to die like the first wife. If she's not, then she should not marry that man.

Chike TEFLON said...

πŸ‘

Anonymous said...

Don't involve the pastor.. They will probably be of no help.. TAKE THAT YOUR FRIEND AND RUN! see ehn! you made a mistake by telling her family.. you shld have known they were conservative.. That girl needs to abort that baby if not that man will always be connected to her.. There are many Nigerians willing to help .. If I were in naija I wld even take your friend in I don't even have to know her.. her family must not know where she is hiding.. Take her to the Mirabel centre in lagos.. or thΓ© nearest Catholic church where there are nuns.. They will be more kind than all these our pentecostal churches..

confide in ur close friends.. They might help her with sm small support whilst she job hunts..

Her family will burn in hell and that pastors wife too.

My advise? RUN! take ur friend.. If her family doesn't know you, keep the girl I'm ur house, if they do.. take her somwhere else

Chike TEFLON said...

True @ 2nd paragraph

T. babe said...

Chai. Too bad

Daenerys_targaryen(For your organic soap and cream���� what's app 08112237061) said...

@Gladys πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•

Kathy said...

Pls let her not marry that man. She should look for financial help elsewhere. She will not happy if she marries that man. May the Lord bless and keep her, may she find favour IJN amen

amanda favour said...

@ ideato,let's not be too quick to judge o.k.
I don't think the pastor's wife would have been mean if the girl told her how she got pregnant.if she opened up, She may be sacked but definitely not without some compensation (Even catholic Church can't retain a single pregnant lady as their staff o.k)

Eeh yah....poor thing,postinor 2 and antibiotics would have solved this problem but I guess the lady is naive.
Poster,please tell her NOT TO MARRY THAT RAPIST.
She should look for organizations that can support her till she births her baby (she should concentrate on making sure her baby comes out negative by taking her drugs religiously), after birthing,she can give up the baby for adoption (if she wishes) oh! Poor thing. This chronicle is heartbreaking

Anonymous said...

Your friend is caught up in the two major problems we have in our society.FAMILY and RELIGION.
Her family are so fake and thinks more of what society and gossips will say. They don't even care about her emotions, state of mind, pains and mental torture she is going through. Marrying her abuser is suicidal.
The church that is supposed to be a support pillar is full of hypocrites and sinners playing god. Why ask someone to resign cause she is pregnant without hearing her story. Who are they to judge and even if she did something wrong is the church not meant for sinners like the bible and Jesus said.
Your friend at 30years can't seem to take any decision by herself and it's unfortunate that her life is being run by all the family members including the family pet.
My humble advice is she should just relocate and start a New life with the hope of the man taking responsibility of the child and also saving her family of the embarrassment the so want to hide.
Who in his or her right frame of mind will give his daughter's hand in marriage to her rapist. Wonders shall never end.

Atheist ™ said...

Brain n beauty, i didnt write the bible oh, i jst needed xplanation. I can see y'all do picknchoose to wat sits well with reality.

Anonymous said...

There is no fulfillment of that law you quoted in the New Testament;
Matthew 5:17 17 “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.
for e.g. The above injunction continued in this chapter and all through the NT. Matthew 5:33 “Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made.’ 34 But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all: either by heaven, for it is God’s throne; 35 or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. 36 And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37 All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.[g]

Did you see the fulfillment of the law of oaths?
If you see 1 Cor. 7 you will understand that this lady is not bound to marry this man. You greatly erred in the scripture you isolated in Deuteronomy above.

amanda favour said...

Shantelle how far?
You just dey do like NEPA here

Ehi Grace lace_material_uk 07448776953 said...

Her pastor can't be bortherd.

amanda favour said...

Yori yori,If that girl have told the pastor's wife how she got pregnant,I don't think she would be sacked this way

Ehi Grace lace_material_uk 07448776953 said...

πŸ‘πŸ½πŸ‘πŸ½πŸ‘πŸ½

Anonymous said...

An atheist should be quoting scriptures. You are just theophobic not atheist.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm. Very deep!
I wish I could give the lady in question a big hug. I wouldn't advise you to abort the child ( if I were the one, I will)
Secondly, your parents are wicked. I believe if you marry this man, you will end up killing yourself or him. He is a beast!!! Run for your life.
Also,parents are nothing but a disgrace to put you into this.
Lastly,To all the ladies above 30. Marriage is not by force. Its better to be single and rich than marry wrongly.( ask Linda ikeji)
We are in 2017, adoption and IVF is possible.

Ladies be wise. Most men derives pleasure in fooling girls from 30 and above.
No marriage, husband or children can make you happy. Wake up!
Not everyone will marry. The most important this is finding and fulfilling your purpose. ( ask mother Theresa)

Only the wise will listen.

AppleofGodseyeoriginal said...

Amen IJN @your last paragraph.

amanda favour said...

Thank you,the girl just complicated the whole situation by keeping quiet!, she should have spilled every every from the beginning

Anonymous said...

I used to be an atheist but I had a drug addiction that defied every therapy for years. When a beloved Christian lady saw me on the street and smiled at me and handed a New Testament, I knew i had to read it. Even when I did not want to; her smiles seemed indelible in my subconscious, I still did read it. One day, I summoned up courage to pray (something like; "Jesus just help me out if you exist . . .")and that did it. The drugs were gone! I have been reading the New Testament for two years (the very copy that lady gave me and I don't need another). I do not attend church but i know that I am a Christian now; I have peace!

gagaga said...

Poster: Give birth to your baby but for heaven's sake, do not marry that man. Try to explain to your siblings the type of person that man is and if they refuse ignore them. You own your life. A better man who will be willing to marry you even after a child will come along. You too messed up. Your instinct was right after all.

Gold Taken said...

Amen.

Villager said...

Eye ope sey all the gehs wer dun Eva vizit yhu, or all the guys wer yhu dun vizit go waif/horseband yhu.

If eye for dun waif all the gehs wer eva vizit me, by now my desendants for dun pass Oga Abraham own.

Eye no yhu are sayin robbish, bet kontinew..

Anonymous said...

I support you anon- because that marriage is a life imprisonment. Nobody deserves such.

Anonymous said...

I tire for this matter.

Anonymous said...

Atheist you're right. It's in the Bible but so are so many other laws that one can follow and one can't esp in the book of Deuteronomy.
That's why I believe her brothers are either wicked or shallow as lots of Nigerians are when it comes to religion and marriage. The worst is a some people will choose the part of the Bible that suits them most then preach it and a gullible majority will swallow everything. If not why is it that in the Igbo land majority (90% to me sef) and most ethnic groups, lands are not given to girls even when there is clearly no son but in the book of Numbers God ordered Moses to let Zelophephad's daughters (who pleaded to Moses that they had nothing and were not married) inherit their father's land. Today women are still denied properties, I'm yet to see a brother insist that his sister can't be left empty cos she has nothing and is not married. That's when they'll rather remember tradition.
So please it's not about the Bible because lots of cases human sympathy and common sense should prevail

Madam, pls don't go through with the marriage. Explain to your pastor and his wife (if they'll hear). Report to NGOs, make this public, do anything but pls don't go.


Ada.

Anonymous said...

The brothers suggestion is truly terrible.

LOLO IDEATO said...

Amanda sweet, my girlfriend worked in a popular church, if you know the character behind the stage character, you'll weep for the church n body of Christ

Atheist ™ said...

Anon 15:57.. Thats all bullshit, why is that absurd line there in the 1st place? Too many contradictions in that childrens book, im glad my blindfold is off.

BLOGLORD (MVBM) said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚@pastor-s wife from..errr...church.

I think the pastor's wife is not aware about the true situation of the pregnancy hence...

She must have prolly thought it was a willing fornication act which resulted in pregnancy.

The lady should meet with her pastor and his wife to explain the whole situation to them. If they still stand their ground that she cannot work with the church and toss her out, then my di.va.li.scious, we will have to rewrite your last sentence as "pastor and wife from...churchell

Madam Small Chops said...

Yeah yeah!! I agree at being 30 & rich.

Seriously I fear being in my thirties and broke than being in my thirties and Single.

Gold Taken said...

Because your friend wants to go with the flow, she is walking into her grave. Wife beaters and rapists don't change overnight, it's a process.

Aside ⬇
Marriage will not heal you;
Being single will not kill you;
Waiting on God is never a waste of time.

2muchjuice|2muchsauce said...

Am angry right now...How can her brothers be so shallow minded and stupid..we are talking about a rapist and a known wife beater..Let your friend go to the church and expose him there and also you have to be with your friend to giver her moral support..Please she shouldnt marry that fool, Christian my foot and encouraging a rapist and even disappointed in her elder sister>> she must go public and disgrace the man..He is a true definition of oke-mkpi..what dirty forgiveness , now its time to stand up for your friend..Stupid Oponu he-goat!!

Anonymous said...

Amanda, negative for what now? Where did you read that the man is HIV positive.??So In you narrow, uninformed mind, antibiotics can prevent HIV??? I'm flabbergasted!!!!

Anonymous said...

Amanda don't I repeat don't use postinior 2 with antI biotic, it will fail. I am talking from experience.

BLOGLORD (MVBM) said...

Mosaic law or not,
There are exceptions to every rule.
So she should jump from frypan to fire cos of a law?
An "unfortunate" incident occured resulting to pregnancy.
The culprit is an animal who kills and destroys.
And you want the victim to be tied to this animal because???
To prolly meet an unexpected end just like his first wife because of???

Mosaic law???

There must be an amendment somewhere in another scripture. Find it! Apply it.

She must not marry that man.

BLOGLORD (MVBM) said...

Then he is not a true pastor and his calling is questionable

MaryBeth said...

Do not marry your abuser. Seek help from the numerous NGOs. Have your baby and move on. Your brothers will understand why you have to take that action later. Keep in touch with only your sister. God will see her through.

BLOGLORD (MVBM) said...

Exactly Amanda. My thoughts too

Shy Artsy gal... said...

Hmm... Men and their pride.... Her brothers are just protecting their pride. They have no genuine love for their sister... Thats why they're pushing her to marry a monster. Instead of protecting her. My heart breaks for her...

Ive never been a victim of rape but I heard it causes shame in the victim. This makes them very reluctant to tell any one... Not BC they're immature or lack sense.

Honey, Try to explain to your pastor. Don't feel hopeless. God will see you through. BUT DONT MARRY THAT MAN!!! ASK GOD FOR WISDOM....

Anonymous said...

Yes she can still get a better man to marry her. She shouldnt sentence herself to this RUBBISH punishiment.

Empress Daisy said...

Going with the flow could mean losing your friend. What help can you render to her?? Being a single mum without a stable source of income can be difficult but when there's life there's hope. I believe your friend should have savings she should start looking for employment elsewhere or think of something to start with her savings. She was also the church secretary, I believe she'll know church members that can help her out, she should also explain things to the pastor and his wife. you as her friend have a lot to do in terms of support and all. God hasn't brought her so far to abandon her. She should pray for divine direction . I wish her the best.

Anonymous said...

Na me angry pass for this Chronicle. I wish i can talk sense into your friend. Mine is she should disappear on that introduction day. Stupid brothers and their archaic mentality.

amanda favour said...

O.k @ ideato,but some pastors wives are good,I know one

@Anon sorry I didn't read well,poster biko forgive me.
When @ Anon,I thought they said taking antibiotics within 72hours of being exposed to HIV prevents it? Please educate me more.

And concerning postinor 2, I haven't taken it since my 30 something years on earth and I don't plan to take in future. Thanks for the correction all the same

VICTORIOUS EHIS said...

What if she wasn't rapped??

VICTORIOUS EHIS said...

Maybe dt was why she didn't tell her pastor's wife

Lady T/ am worth more than a thousand dollars said...

Let me rant a bit.
Is it possible to get the no of the pastors wife? For God sake who does she think she is to sack this girl without having the true pix of things?/what kind of a pastors wife is she and what kind of church are they running?/
The church is meant for people Who need help, who are sick, who.are down trodden those who have been taken advantage of. The church is not for people who are normal and hale and hearty it is these one that should provide succour to those who need help.
What kind of a pastors wife is she? Even if the girl is their member and gets pregnant, shit can happen to anyone. so you throw her out for who to pick up? Why do we treat our own so.badly. if she commits suicide her blood will be on the pastors wife. And no, there is no excuse. The fact that she is pastors wife means she should go the extra mile. If she wants to.scold by all means but be a place of refuge as much as she can help it.

And these brothers have no clue what awaits their sister should she marry this guy.
The lady should run away from this so called. Marriage. She should not end up whatsoever with her abuser he will never value her.
Pray and let God show you what to do.

Isn't there a shelter for ladies in this kind of situation in the city she lives in? There must be a way there is always a way if we really look.
Am so pissed. Wish I could help.
Is there a way to get the pastors wife no, we can start from there. Someone needs to talk to her about the other side of the coin. If it were her daughter what will she do?
.I will be praying, and I pray God intervenes on the behalf of this lady in question.

Lady T/ am worth more than a thousand dollars said...

Dear poster, can you please ntske your friend in until further notice she needs your help. She cannot marry that man for any reason. Pls, there must be a way. Let us know how it goes. God bless

better pikin said...

This chronicle is so Heartbreaking.. poster advice your friend NOT to get married to a Rapist and a Wife Beater except if he truly changes. It's better to be a single mother than to go to early grave. She should go back to the church and explain things to them with all the evidence she has. They may not give her job back but they may lend some support.

HighlyFavoured said...

My dear, tellbur friend to face her fears and suppose shame and conquer once and for all.
The worst, she will loose family, friends and loved ones, suffer hunger, but within 2 years, she will become better.
She is not d first to be pregnant and will birth before wedlock. Neither will she be d last.
She should just start praying for where as he will stay if kicked out.
And remember, God is still faithful and will come through for her.
She should not marry that man. What she will get will be nothing compared to d present situation.
Divorces, single mammas, widowers, marry. What makes her think hers will be different.

ukwu dimond said...

Poster are you sure your friend is telling you the truth, only but the full gist how it happened? Am sounding so coz a lady of 30 years sounding like 15 years old girl is too bad, how can a man rape her, disflowered her and yet she did not take proper medications until after three days? I fear that your friend, she may not be innocent as she sound to you, if she was truthful enough she would have open up to the pastor's wife before she discovered that she was pregnant, medicine after death that is what you and your friend is doing at this moment, let your friend follow her heart, if she is not ready to be a single mum she should marry the man, but if she is ready and comfort to be a single mom she should let the man be.

Both of you should not judge the man completely, is possible his ex wife was a case, is possible the man has changed, she should just ask for wisdom from God, she should keep the baby, if she can transfer the pregnancy please tell her some people are willing to carry it without shame. I wish your friend strength to survive.

HighlyFavoured said...

Atheist, i couldn't help but say this,
It is enough DAT u don't want Jesus as ur Lord and saviour, nor believe in God. Its ur choice. Whatever u decide to do w ur life, ur business.
But criticizing,mocking, slandering God and looking for every opportunity to tear believer's down and God's word (the Bible), is playing with fire.
I would advice u desist from these or face His wrath.
Whether, you believe or not, changes nothing. It doesn't stop Him from being God & doesn't stop billions of us serving and worshipping Him.
This is from a concerned heart.
Be careful.

Anonymous said...

Poster tell your friend to keep the pregnancy no matter what, I was raped at age 19,after my junior WAEC in the year 2001,i was so young, never knew anything, innocent me, the guy drugged the juice he gave to me and raped me, I never knew that I could be pregnant after the rape, I never took any medications until three months later I started feeling weak, sick, tired always, eat anything that my eye sees, sleep too much, started throwing up, I did not see my period all those months but was happy cos I normally gave heavy flow, I was happy that at least am going to rest from period. When I discovered that I was pregnant three months gone, I told the guy, so he begged me not to tell his brother or Friend, I was stupid to have kept quite, I asked him for money to abort the pregnancy which he could not afford it, I later got a doctor friend that I told my life story and he agreed to help me termination the pregnancy, I had d&c since then till now I have never missed my period, I just wish your friend will keep this baby cos since 2001 till date I have not miss my period, on pregnancy, tell to keep it, who knows she way no get pregnant again.

Anonymous said...

I feel she wanted d pregnancy if not why didn't she take pistonor after d "rape".....as a grown woman for that matter

Anonymous said...

@Atheist (though you are simply "theophobic"): You can make your point without using that "b" word up there.
Concerning your question, when you were in primary one/two, your teachers told you that 1 divided by 2 "isn't possible"
By the 5th elementary, you were told that the answer was half: did that make the Elementary 1 and 2 teachers wrong?
Now look at the defining scripture:
Galatians 3:24 Wherefore the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith.

Anonymous said...

This atheist is ignorant. You just tied your "blindfold" and feigned it as "off".

Anonymous said...

@Anon 16:01 Rape n Abortion are both traumatising talking from experience. She really needs a warm hug.

Anonymous said...

You better be angry with foolish girls who go to a stranger's house unaccompanied and drink whatever is offered to them. That's the best anger to have. Even if rapists do not change, ladies should change their attitudes at making themselves vulnerable. God gave us brains not potato packed skulls.

Adadioramma said...

My baby for life, love you gbam.

Anonymous said...

That mocker is not "atheist", he is theophobic (google it). A psychiatric entity where the subject has a morbid fear of God that tend to make him run into the vague safety that "he does not exist". Any mention of God, bible, religious symbols etc. elicit a morbid fear of judgment and hell.

Push up said...

The pastors wife is a hypocrite, well he may have changed for the better finding out she's a virgin and all but mehn, how does one stand the sight of someone who hurt them. I feel so sorry for your friend very messed up situation and no one would be willing to employ a pregnant woman. Her siblings are heartless

Anonymous said...

Wait!!!!! And what if she's pregnant ??! Secetary in church cannot get pregnant again or???
And if the asker was aware she wasn't married but pregnant and decided to sack her on those grounds. Why did this so called "pastors wife" not ask about that before the sack! Crap!

Dear poster, if it's as a result of your lack of job you'll live with your abuser I advise you tell the pastors wife and anyone who cares to listen. Yes you made a mistake by going to his house but that still doesn't matter because he already had his plan he premeditated.

You will get over every form of humiliation and bounce back with lesson learned which is by far better than married with your abuser living everyday in regret, pls fleeeeeee

Flee from him whether his begging or not . Forgive and move on.

Anonymous said...

The whole confusion and trying to wake up to her reality, it happens.

Anonymous said...

Amanda, not true! A popular Catholic Church in Lagos presently have a pregnant staff. I saw with my eyes, I am parishioner of the church so this is not hear say. So I'm not understanding you.

HighlyFavoured said...

Atheist, i couldn't help but say this,
It is enough DAT u don't want Jesus as ur Lord and saviour, nor believe in God. Its ur choice. Whatever u decide to do w ur life, ur business.
But criticizing,mocking, slandering God and looking for every opportunity to tear believer's down and God's word (the Bible), is playing with fire.
I would advice u desist from these or face His wrath.
Whether, you believe or not, changes nothing. It doesn't stop Him from being God & doesn't stop billions of us serving and worshipping Him.
This is from a concerned heart.
Be careful.

Anonymous said...

TELL YOUR FRIEND TO GET MARRIED TO THE MAN AND FILE FOR DIVORCE IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE MARRIAGE. LIKE ONE WEEK AFTER. THAT WAY THE CHILD IS NOT A BASTARD AND SHE IS NOT LIVING WITH A MONSTER. IT DOES NOT SEEM LIKE THE GUY WILL CHANGE. THE FACT THAT HE IS BEGGING NOW IS NORMAL. BEFORE NKO? NO BE BEG HIM GO DEY BEG FOR NOW?

Anonymous said...

Someone said she "does not want abortion" and you are forcing it down her throat? How many babies have you killed? These anonymous girls, God knows all of you.
Tomorrow, you'd come on with your real ID and be chanting "abstain", "don't abort!".
All na marketing strategies.

Anonymous said...

Anon 17:51- reading through this chronicle just brought some memories to me. I remember when a particular guy(still a church brother) was begging me to visit him. I thank God i didnt go. All these guys saying come and visit me most of them are predators.
Sleeping with a guy wether rape or consensual as an adult you should know how to protect yourself with an after pill.
My anger is she didnt report the Bastard and didnt protect herself after the deed was done.
My suggestion is a quiet abortion then say you had a miscarriage later. Or run for your life.
Those people saying dont do abortion are not wearing your shoes to know where it hurts.
You have to grow up and make a decision right now. Nobody holy pass whether you lie, curse,steal, fornicate sin na sin.
Put on your big girl pants and make a decision but dont marry that beast.

Anonymous said...

Why keep a baby that was conceived of rape? Can the poster love that child? There are cases when abortion is allowed. People shouting abortion up and down but go about committing their own hideous sins.
I was pregnant and naive i had to flush the pregnancy immediately-thats my own secret to the grave. Am now married with two kids. Poster make a decision and stick to it like a glue and be ready for whatever consequences. But getting married to that guy should not be one of the decision.

Anonymous said...

Have your friend thought of adoption? Contact a Ngo,after giving birth move to another state and start on a clean state. It will be a HUGE mistake to marry that bastard-cum-idiot!Her family are thinking of the financial burden and is she living by herself or with any of her siblings. Pentecostal pastors are bloody hypocrites!Many fucked their wives or husbands before marriage but come to the pulpit to form holy! I blame the gulliables that hang on every of their words,calling them mummy and daddy.What utter rubbish!But @ 30,your friend should know about contraceptives, being a Christian and virgin does not mean being foolish!

Anonymous said...

She shouldn't have visited the guy if she does not like him for marriage. So let her face reality abeg

Anonymous said...

She should not marry the man. What church is that? Maybe an NGO can help?

Anonymous said...

Why will the church sack someone because they are pregnant, even if not married? Is that a show of love?

Anonymous said...

Why are you always crying out loud?

Anonymous said...

Even if she is not aware is that the way a pastor's wife should react? That is not even an excuse.

Anonymous said...

Her brothers' reasoning is something else, so devoid of human kindness...

Anonymous said...

Atheist na now we go see your gragra abi? You are the one picking and choosing in your bid to discredit the Bible. Anyone that believes in good and evil and still discredits God is laughable.

Anonymous said...

@18:58
Aren't you worse than a predator? The man pounced on a grown up lady and raped her; so she told us.
Now you want her to "quietly kill the innocent baby" and LIE about it?
How many of such murders have you done and what happened to your conscience afterwards?
Isn't a murderer of innocents worse than a rapist?
You have to come to equity with clean hands.
Proverbs 6:16There are SIX THINGS THE LORD HATES,
seven that are detestable to him:
17haughty eyes,
a LYING tongue,
HANDS THAT SHED INNOCENT BLOOD,
18a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,

Anonymous said...

Did the pastor's wife care to inquire before sacking?

Anonymous said...

Abortion is never right. Child is innocent.

Anonymous said...

All your questions are too late. What has happened has happened. What to be done is now the issue.

Anonymous said...

Talking about "clean slate", was she a "dirty slate before?"
The rapist should be the one on the run and not her please.
Nigeria is a weird society. A lady is raped and you are telling her to run . .. and find a "clean slate?"
Read through that thing you wrote up there again.
This lady needs support; financial, emotional, legal, spiritual etc.

gagaga said...

Anon 16:39...exactly!!!

Anonymous said...

17:56 me thinks you hit the nail on the head.

Jamila Gold said...

Amanda dear, HIV is a viral disease, not a bacterial infection. There is no drug that can prevent HIV for now, I so wish what you typed is true sha, would have reduced the frequency of HIV.

SWAG LAFRESH said...

Ideato, face the chronicle and leave pastors alone.

If some of us start talking about your priest I'm not sure you can stand it.

CharisMAtic DIVA said...

Ahahahahahaha
Churchell??πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Odiegwu!

My B-to da EL, all I'm saying is, whether she's aware or not. Her husband, the pastor, is a shepherd, she's d wife while d lady is like one of d sheep under their care. Did she press further to find out wat, how n why she got pregnant or just judge n tossed her out as d spirikoko wey she be? It's not fair nah
Check am nah. What if d lady's her daughter? Would she have treated her laik dat?

Yea, all d same I think she should meet with them as u said...

Anonymous said...

@19:06
If you have been raped and you killed the babies, do not tell another to do same.
If you did not love your baby, that does not mean another won't
How about birthing and giving the baby out to ladies seeking for babies instead of shedding innocent blood?
That baby did not rape her; did she/he?
Just like the other one up there said, in the next post, you girls will come with your real ID and be chanting "abstain, don't abort"

Anonymous said...

I was Raped at 16 by a guy I had a crush on. I visited him and he tried to drug me and I didn't take the drink. I was Raped by him and 6 of his friends. They threw me out in the street I fell into the gutter and yes I was a virgin. I went straight to the police station. He was picked up immediately and Arrested. His father was a Lt col so the case was settled. He spent few days in cell of course. There is no shame in reporting your rapist if you were truly Raped. Mind you this was 1996! 22 years ago! I have healed completely now and I actually forgive myself for being in that position. Rape is no joke and it's very traumatic it affected all my relationships I cannot be touched except I deeply and truly love you. Anyways just thought I share it took time for me to finally admit what happened. I'm a woman now. Wiser, stronger and Grateful.

CharisMAtic DIVA said...

Shantell, yes, I believe you but let's give them(pastor& wife) benefit of the doubt....

SANDY YO said...

You have said it all! Namsense!

Miss Juliet said...

That Pastor's wife what does she even preach ? Someone got pregnant working for you and the best you could do was to sack her? What happens to sitting her down nd asking her questions. The heart of man. Poster tell ur friend to just bring her self together, 9 months will soon be here she will give birth and get a good job. How can someone walk into fire with 2 eyes open? Her brothers are more interested in protecting their family name than protecting their sisters life. She should not even be talking to that bastard again no matter how he begs. If not the next chronicle will be DV

Anonymous said...

They are telling her to run cos her family is about forcing her into a useless marriage.

Anonymous said...

Anon 19:58
Everyone has an opinion stop attacking peoples comment why not give your own. Sabinus

World People said...

Who wrote that law? The Levi priests? Moses or it was directly from God the father?but regardless, remember the times in which you speak. This was thousands of years before Christ. How dare you try to apply a directive of old to a time of new?

I think there are lots of doctrines that are no longer practiced from the Old Testament like animal sacrificing to atone for sins. When Jesus came, he disregarded most of the old laws. You know this. So you must just wana argue for the sake of arguing

Anonymous said...

Good evening ,poster in case you or your friend is reading this,she needs not marry that man
she has made a mistake by not taking emergency contraceptive but that not withstanding she needs not marry him
you can get in touch with Olu bunmi(Jopas daughter) on Facebook who is currently documenting rape series and helping the victims in ways she can even as far as getting them psychotherapy which your friend will need.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing 20:01.

Anonymous said...

We are made to believe that the Bible is so perfect a book that we're to believe every word written in it. Alas! When contradictions are pointed out, you hear narratives and excuses like 'that's the old testament'.
The so called New Testament was written how many years ago?
If you MUST serve a God/deity, serve him with every law written in the book. You're not allowed to choose what's right or wrong cos you made the choice to serve him and he's an All Knowing God.
For every cultist, after the initiation comes the 'first assignment'(rob someone, rape a girl or as the case may be). This first assignment has been there for ages and it's still being practiced till date.

Christians follow the Bible to the latter.

Anonymous said...

She must be a very stupid fool for agreeing to marry the man.....she should dang everybody and go live her life....what kind of stupid brothers does she have? Let her go and look for an NGO that will accommodate her and cut off from all her family members.....fuck them all.....and it's stupid of anyone to say she didn't talk on time caus she was raped..pray it doesn't happen to you

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 17:44 shut your fucking mouth.....u think everyone is a whore like you?

Anonymous said...

Are you minding them? All those their randy gay and promiscuous rev fathers....I personally know 2 of them who have children with their parishioners......we don't know how the whole matter went so judge not

Anonymous said...

E no go pass dunamis church

LOLO IDEATO said...

Lafresh!!!! I don't want to come at you!

Fuck out of my comment

amanda favour said...

Thanks @ jamila Gold,we learn everyday

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£ why y'all anonymous though? 🀣🀣

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

Is it the deeper life pastor's daughter who was raped by her cousin? She's doing pretty well now oh! She used to be my classmate in senior secondary.

Well maybe she's not the one. This one was 13 as well and it was quite a scandal at the time.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

No vex oh. It's comments like this that make people marry anyone and anything once they reach 28/29. they are scared of the number '3'. Biko, there's nothing wrong in a woman in her 30s still longing for marriage. Many women and men marry for the first time in their 30s, especially those who live abroad. My own is don't just sit there waiting for husband and not doing anything else cos you even narrow your chances of meeting a correct guy when you're broke. I think 40 is the age to start telling them to give up on hope, and even at that we have seen 40s women marry too.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

A thousand hugs for you.

Anonymous said...

Just get out of here, with your stupid advice.

Olive Oyl said...

HIV is caused by a virus not bacteria. Antibiotics cannot help except as treatment against some STIs or STDs

Olive Oyl said...

Poster are you or your friend in FIN,she might get help from women rights group and regain her self-esteem&sanity.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 15;32. So you can only visit who you can marry abi? So no need to court na. Because as soon as you have fine yo his house you must.Marry him. Ia it wveryine you date you marry? Dating is to discover what the person is like.and if they are a Gil fie for you Nonsense.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous judging shebi a of all those ain you never commit 1? Pls park well.

Derby Derbra said...

@amanda favour, with all due respect, that's not true.. We all know majority of pastor's wife have this sense of entitlement.

U mean she just asked her "sister, are u pregnant"?

And d sister replied with "yes".. then pastor's wife told her she is no longer fit for her position?

Definitely que like "for who" "is he a member" "is he ready to marry you" etc would have come up , which will lead to making the lady cry, then open up to her (pastor's wife) on all that's happened..
Also judging from the write up, she is close to the church or pastor and his family. You can't have such position "secretary" and not have a sort of rapport .

But you know, "church's image can't be tainted

Anonymous said...

If this story is true...I think the best thing is to offer solution to this problem..

Understand the society we live in, victims are still not 100% willing to report rape cases because of the 'presumed' stigmatisation that comes with it. And I wouldnt blame them for this decision. Imagine the brother already cast his stone at her.

There is nothing wrong with the lady going over to see the man...after all, they were supposed to be dating...though she wasn't sure of marring him.

The issue is that the man is simply a monster who preys on the vulnerable. Imagine drugging a woman to have sex with her??? A woman he was asking for her hand in marriage?? He has deep issues.

Like I said, the way out here is to proffer solution...if the victim is willing to go with it.
First: There is need to get a volunteer "Human-right" Lawyer who specialises on this kind of case....this is to ensure that the culprit is duly brought to book, and that he pays "Child-support". I think there is a Law in Lagos that supports that.

Secondly: The lady needs a job as soon as possible to enable her take care of her self and child...and eventually move on with her life.

Thirdly: She needs an accommodation...out of her family house and reach.

Maybe...we can start from here.

Forget about the Church and Family for now...from this narrative, they constitute part of the problem..than solution.

If the victim if willing to go on with this steps...then lets all come together and see what we can do..believe me...it will cost nothing....and we will feel better for it.

Anonymous said...

This story is so sad. Please tell your friend NOT to get married to that guy it ll only get worse. If she has a relative or close friend that she can stay with for a while she should stay there. If he has little savings to start up a small business like fruit business or coconut oil and the likes she should try starting one, it would take her mind off the whole issue. God will protect her, give her wisdom and see her tru this tough times.

Amanda Abba said...

I think i understood the fact that she got raped by the guy which eventually led to her being pregnant.Now her sisters and brothers are forcing her to get married to this rapist and wife beater?Jesus!!!She may not want to take legal actions against the guy because he's the father of the child and no mother would want to tell her child she's the reason the father is in jail. But if we keep letting things like this pass, men will never stop doing these horrific things.The church, regardless of if it's a rule or not sacked a raped pregnant girl because she is pregnant. I'm sure they would have been told the whole story and they still did? God have mercy on me but that's a church no one should ever attend. They preach but do they act by it?Now she's going to get married to this guy because her people are forcing her to. When the guy starts beating her, her people would not do anything, her elder sister will just continue crying, her brothers will not do shit because right now they are trying to save their family image and when she's in the marriage it becomes her cross to bear.The guy is begging. Ofcourse nao. He doesn't want to go to jail, he's threatened by her brothers but let her just step foot into that marriage. She will regret it for the rest of her life.How will her life most probably look like. She gets married, he stays normal for a while cus people are watching, after that, he starts the beatings, she ends up giving birth to a stillborn or worse giving birth to the child in that man's home, where the man will beat hell out of two of them maybe, she gets pregnant again, filling the house with kids who'll watch their parents in their violent marriage, the man might start abusing the children. Cus trust me. If he can rape, he can commit incest, if he can beat a woman, he can definitely beat his children violently.And trust me. He is covered by/from the law. You know why? Because the woman is jobless, she might get a job getting menial wages but the man supports even if barely but that little he gives she won't want to loose, therefore, she will stop reporting him to anybody. Why? Because he sister will only cry, her brothers will only threaten but will they help? Yes. For a while but then they get tired and she is left alone.At the end of the day. She has her own cross to carry. A very heavy cross it will be.My Advice. Anyway you can get help right now, anyway she can avoid getting into marriage with that man. She should take it. Leave her family because they won't help.
I KNOW ALL THIS IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE BUT PLEASE.PLEASE. DO NOT MARRY HIM.

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