Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Courtship Questions

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Friday, 1 September 2017

Courtship Questions

Are you dating and looking towards Marriage with someone but confused abou what you need to know?






What do you think people in courtship should discuss about ?Real questions that would improve the relationship positively and do a lot of good if it ends in Marriage....

What are the important questions both need to ask each other?

Your contribution towards this post is very important and will definitely do someone a lot of good..!

53 comments:

  1. Likes/dislikes
    Turnon/turn off
    Drink,smoke
    Friends and Family
    Best food,colour etc
    Favorite hangout spot
    Dreams/ambition
    Number of future kids
    Sexual possession
    Religion/relationship with God. Etc

    All this listed doesn't guarantee an everlasting relationship cos most would lie/fake about this just to get your heartbroken

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  2. GOals, finance, family..... I will be back to read comments cos theres so much i will love to learn

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  3. Very nice post. I really need to know.

    Plus, how do you subtly push someone to do the needful. I mean, u know he loves u and u love him. You talk about the future and how many kids u wanna have, what you'd name ur kids, how you'd raise ur kids. You even meet his entire family and hit it off with them.

    You know he's what you want. How dyu codedly push him to propose.

    Abeg, make una no fry me. I'm just a lady in love

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ask him if he loves how TIGHT your 'Tow-tow' is...😊

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    2. You want Jolo. O to propose?

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    3. The best thing is to leave him alone. A man will do what he wants when he wants.

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    4. Start showing him ring sizes and shapes. And tell him the one u want. Stylishly o

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    5. Don't force it baby, he'll come around when he is ready.

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    6. PL The Great, on point! Leave the guy freaking alone, before you look desperate.
      Another way is to keep open doors for other boos. If he sees you are being hunted, he will want to hurry. Even though the others are not serious, let it be like they are hunting towards marriage.

      Delete
    7. If you've built true friendship with the person, there is nothing you two shouldn't be able to talk about, no need to put pressure on him, just ask what his plans are, when he's looking to get married, you can even chip in when you'll like to get married, as long as you two are in a good place in your relationship, and you feel marriage plans should start coming, ask him directly, and know your stand, I can discuss ANYTHING with my husband.

      Delete
  4. Courtship is different from dating. Courtship is when two people make a commitment to get married. It's important for both parties to know their genotype, health status, family history and every medical history that there is to know. Some illnesses are hereditary, so it's important for both parties to know what their kids could be inheriting from them. Then finances, it's important for both to bear the real status of their account and earnings. Decide how much would be needed as a married couple to keep a family and home.
    Place of residence, where would you both prefer to raise a family? I don't like Lagos and I won't mind having a family in the north, it's peaceful with less traffic stress.
    What type of schools would you like your kids to go, what are your religious beliefs? Etc.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow for the first time you make sense

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    2. It's necessary to talk about church especially if you attend different churches.Where would you both reside (if you live in different states).How both finances would be controlled and used,what contributions do we make every month and what do we save.How many of our family members are allowed to stay with us and for how long. Who decides names for our children.How do we raise our children (most times couples have conflict of interest when it comes to this,cause many atimes they tend to want to raise their kids up the way they were raised). Everything about the past,present and future should be talked about,dreams and aspirations shouldn't be left out. What responsibility does he have (if he is the eldest child or from a poor background. Do you have a child. And every other thing Doppel mentioned up there.

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    3. May and Doppel πŸ‘πŸ‘

      Delete
  5. Number of children, belief, family background/history, his/her take on divorce, politics, sports, fetish ,what you will do to him/her that they can't forgive etc

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    Replies
    1. Gbam!
      Likes, dislikes, religion, beliefs, values, family values, upbringing, spending habits, hobby, short-term plan, long-term plan, where you would like to live, your idea of 'family', financial plan, I can go on and on....

      When asking sha don't make the person feel like they're at an interview. Just chip is as you go along. Also do some observation, cos they can say one thing to please you while their actions depict another.

      Delete
  6. we are gonna discuss about finances first. will he make me a signatory to his account? we to have a joint account abi saperate account?
    he needs to understand that as the head of the house his money is our money and my money is my money. i can support him as much as i can but my money will always be my money. lol money matter is very important den number of kids, does a child sex matter? then future goals and aspiration, our goals need to align. then we talk about family members and retirement plans yes very important.








    *hangs leg on the wall*

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    Replies
    1. You will make a terrible wife

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    2. Definitely make a horrid wife, this kind of person that if the husband runs into financial difficulties the man will commit suicide because of your bad mentality.

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    3. You are a gold digger who thinks marriage is a money making venture. Take it from me who is almost 20years in the marriage business you will end up with a dubious man with the kind of attitude you have.

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    4. Anon 16:19...thank you for your comment. She is time bomb waiting to explode in a man's house. Woman with low self esteem that feels a man is her ATM card.

      Delete
    5. Anonymous she stating the obvious,this money mata causes a lot of issues cos couples assume they understand each other with money matter till after marriage.
      @Pastors daughter,money matter no be black and white o,all u can do is decide if its joint/separate accounts!

      Delete
  7. Do you have Ego to spoil me With? should be d first

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  8. Family background, health status etc

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  9. How are the task shared at home
    How many children, how do we space them,name them, discipline them etc
    View of money in general,
    How do we settle conflict?
    Genotype, any sickness or physical challenges that can affect the relationship,.
    What is your personal relationship with God like
    What are your short and long term goals

    Sex sex sex
    Money money money

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  10. Keeping a relationship these days is just to be shining congo,if u r in one n d guy ain't looking to settle down, keep ur eyes outside, don't pressure any dude with marriage talk, a guy that is ready won't even wait for u to start talking, he would talk n act, not to talk n fuck, no action.

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  11. As a young married man, i think there are somany necessary things that should be discuss in a relationship that is heading to marriage. As marriage is bigger than shawamah and icecream you used to have when you were courting.

    1:The number of childern he/she wants to have.

    2:Sex drive and what turns them on during sexual activities between the people involved.

    3:Lots of things about his or her personal life style. And also what derives them.

    3:Know their personal relationship with God.

    4:What piss them off.

    5:Know about what they do, business, carrer, etc.

    Above all,make sure you know their friends, family, and associates.

    Abeg make i rest here jooh.

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  12. eka joy You can't push a man to propose, he will propose when he wants to. and I bet he senses the desparation already.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you know u are one of the stupid people we have on the blog

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    2. So because he told u the truth he's stupid. U just made a fool of ursef.

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    3. Sherikoko, u are the one making a fool of yourself. Telling me he senses my desperation is telling me the truth??? Are u both stupid??? Where have I hinted that I've acted desperate. Do u think I don't have sense or don't know how to handle a relationship

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  13. Courtship is a time for you to decide and agree on;
    Number of kids/their education
    Place/state/country of residence
    Finance/savings
    Church to attend, esp if you both presently attend diff churches. Seen families, where wifey attends her church and husband attends his
    Who comes to stay/live with the family
    Sex life
    Maybe chores. Etc

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  14. Singles should read the book by Gary Chapmnan 'Things I wish I knew before I got married'
    It would help a lot!

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  15. Very good discussion topic Stella... I'm eager to read comments

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  16. Almost every important thing has been listed so I'd just add. Very importantly the culture and traditions of the family you are getting married to. Know if it's something you can live with. Listening keenly and ask him questions to ideologies on certain issues and watch what stands he takes too. It can be with u or issues generally related to people, you or even while watching a movie. Issues such as divorce, forgiveness, incest, rape, sodomy, religion. Like for me recently I Exed a man I was trying to build a relationship with cos of his stand on child marriage. He brought up the subject and was for it, telling me a 10 year old is already a woman, u c them with boob's, bla, bla, bla. I almost died of disgust and was justifying and castigating the law for preventing children being married by adult men. My antenna just went up, pedophile alert! If u marry this one be ready to become a hawk for your female kids. Just saying though. It's good you ask intuitive questions like if his parents are divorced find out why, how long they were married for before separating. It should give u an idea if ur mans background of marriage. Even fun questions about their child hood upbringing is an important pointer for the success of ur marriage. Make I stop here.

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  17. How would you handle disputes? For some, they like to be left alone when angry while others want to talk it out immediately. Talk about this so the other party doesn't feel slighted.

    How many kids do you want and what family planning method do you want to adopt? I know a guy that wanted 3 but babe wanted 2 and so he agreed so she would be happy. After 2, he started worrying for another child.... That's now a sore point.

    Hobbies.... the fact that I love you doesn't mean I must love your hobby, but we need to know what we love doing and see if we can come around.

    Sex. Would it be only once a week, on the bed with lights off or spontaneous? If you have any fantasies too, kindly trash it during this period.

    Religious belief. Especially if you are of different religions or even different denomination. Which one would you follow when 2 becomes 1?

    Where to live. Do you prefer the gbagbagbogbo of urban Lagos or you want the quietness of Badagry?

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  18. #Don't marry/get in a serious relationship with someone, unless you'd be proud to have a child exactly like them*

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  19. It's very important to know who you are a in a relationship with in 'totoh'πŸ˜€
    I dated a guy for three years without knowing him well. I was blinded by money and other gifts I didn't ask the necessary questions. One thing I notice people take for granted is their spouse's religious beliefs/stand.
    If your husband sow ur only car to his pastor as a seed will you be cool with it?
    If he gives his last card or your daughter school fees as seed are you gonna be okay?
    Do u guys have to agree in what u give to God?
    I dated someone who even though his mum and siblings are suffering in the village, he was in d city sowing everything he owns.
    Note: I'm not saying its a bad thing to sow seeds o, but will u be cool with it if u find ur self in the above mentioned situation?

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  20. Yes, I've been called many names on this blog including "anonymous copy and paste".
    This topics are never stale. I've been on this blog for years and I have observed that
    courtships do not exist but "sexship". Girls just meet a guy and "give him sex to keep him" and write chronicles.
    Let me copy and paste it again: My experience:
    Discussion topics for courtship


    I married my husband after 4 years of courtship without sex; we just did not go there. There were a lot to discuss;

    1. Our careers; levels and who goes first for this and that degrees
    2. Our finances; joint account with either to sign/taking care of our respective parents/ which relatives to admit and take up responsibility and which not to etc.
    3. Our kids/ number (gender matters interference or not), discipline (he knew how to do it; my weakest point), schooling/fees etc.
    4. Scriptures/prayers/fasting (fixed and did it together): Church denominational issues trashed; we should attend any but together etc.
    5. Wedding; non denominational (had to bring the two families together), low key (invest the money instead of lavishing it in a day on frivolities)/ attires (no need buying an exorbitant wedding dress from UK and having it as a liability afterwards), we still reap the dividends from the savings from our wedding.

    Really, we discussed a lot and we keep on discussing. We rarely had enough time each time we went out on a date. We do not remember sex and we really did not want to do it and appear hypocritical to ourselves and all. More than ten years of marital journey and with kids; I've got peace, lots of love and trust. If you tell me that you tell me that my husband was with a lady, I will laugh you to scorn. Is it not the same man who for 4 years was with me in the most secure and secluded of places and never attempted to undress me? The trust is mutual and we enjoy a very beautiful sex life. Marriage is beautiful if you plan it with God and stay resolved.

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  21. Eka JOy: If you are sure he is the one and he is foot-dragging, jazz him. Otumokpo his behind that before he knows it, you have 4 kids already. Tie him.

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  22. iuleha virologist1 September 2017 at 18:03

    Eka joy, why not start a conversation with him? Try this: take a trip down memory lane and tell him of all the things you wanted to have achieved before getting married and ask him what were his dreams for marriage. It'll let you know where his head is at. Secondly, don't be afraid to let him know you'd like commitment and you are willing to take a walk if you don't get it. You have to put the fear of God into these men sometimes. It worked for me.

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  23. Take this info to the bank.1 September 2017 at 18:21

    Eka I like you a lot. Don't be desperate please. Again ladies also check yourselves! Are you sure you don't stink down there?

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  24. I believe people in courtship should discuss their sex life and preferences
    They need to discuss how the finances is or intend to be like how much house keeping allowance the man would be willing to give the woman
    They need to discuss any health issues
    They need to discuss the norm in each family
    They need to discuss their religious beliefs and personal principles
    They sure need to discuss the number of children they would want
    And above all start praying together not only gbenching. If you're afraid or shy to pray with someone you're dating something is seriously wrong...

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  25. I'm here to learn. Ask if your house would be pilgrimage destination for all family members. Are you comfortable sharing your space with other people apart from your wife/husband? What's the maximum duration relations can stay. Very important

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  26. I've learnt a lot tonight....good night

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  27. I think during courtship u should also look at his or her family values for marriage. Do love exist in the family. Because the family where a partner grew up play an important role in ones life in future. It is important to know that is a family that live themselves and also love and live peacefully with others.

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  28. Because some families have wickedness running in their lineage. Also don't have the fear of God when relating with others.

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