Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: GHOSTING Someone...

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Tuesday, September 19, 2017

GHOSTING Someone...

Have you ever 'Ghosted' on anyone?






From the Urban Dictionary that “ghosting” simply was “the act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date…done in hopes that the ghostee will just ‘get the hint’ and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested.”



 It sounds childish, doesn’t it? But we have all been there: You go on a date, everything is great. He/she calls you three times a day, sends you voice notes and text messages that get you grinning from ear to ear, sings you to sleep every night…you even share deep secrets and talk about the kind of future you envisage, the number of children you want e.t.c. ...


But out of the blues, maybe after a few weeks or even months of being together, he disappears. No phone call. No E-mail. No DM. Not even a text! And not only that, he/she stops picking your calls and all your efforts to reach him/her are ignored and treated with silence.

It hurts. Really hurts.

I mean, you probably may not have even been particularly attached or invested in the moron, but for him/her to vanish without an explanation? It stings.


Nothing makes you question your self-worth like a love interest that disappears, without any explanation at all.



You are trapped in a cesspool of confusion : What if they were involved in an accident and their corpse is lying somewhere? What if they lost their phone and cannot retrieve old contacts? Should you be worried? Should you be upset? Should you keep trying to reach them or just respect yourself and move on?

You go crazy with irrational anxiety and constant checking of their Whatsapp’s Last Seen…because you want to know what is going on! And when you eventually realize that you have been left in the lurch and ghosted – maybe you finally notice their activity on social media, or a friend of a friend lets you know that they (love interest) are over you- you start to question the genuineness of the relationship you had,and why you didn’t see it coming.



 You question yourself, your self-worth as well, because you have been deprived of the closure you get from expressing your emotions and being heard, which is important for maintaining your self-esteem.

The funny thing is that people who ghost others (ghosters) actually believe that they are doing the ‘ghostee’ a favour. They are cutting out the awkwardness of the conversation they would have to have with them to end the relationship, and saving them from the hurt of being rejected.

In reality, though, they are doing more emotional and psychological damage. Of course, texting someone something like: ‘Hey, I am over you. I don’t want to do this anymore. Don’t contact me anymore, and good luck with the rest of your life” would suck, but at least they would know to move on.

Ghosting is a reflection of a person’s level of maturity. People who are immature, self-centered and dramatic usually are the ones with the knack for ghosting. They are just interested in what they want and what works for them, no matter who gets hurt.


Also, cowards who cannot express the way they feel with words. But can we really blame them? If they meet someone with the hope of getting something beautiful, but end up with a toxic fellow who is clingy, bossy or just suffocating, should they be blamed for just disappearing and not handling the situation properly?

At the end of the day, the whole ghosting thing sucks. You have to remember that the act says nothing about you or your worthiness for love and instead tells everything about the ghoster. They do not have the maturity to be in a healthy relationship with you, so all that’s left for you to do is let them go peacefully and maintain your dignity.

Dwelling on the whys and how will only rob you of a better future because you will develop trust issues and shut yourself off from another relationship.

On the other hand, those who have the knack for ghosting should realize that they are horrible people. By refusing someone that little respect that comes with giving them closure, even if the interaction with them had been short or fleeting, you’re robbing them of so much self-esteem and self-worth. Be better.

Have you ghosted anyone or been ghosted before? Share your experience and thoughts.
By Nkem Ndem Vivienne

117 comments:

  1. I don't think i have been ghosted on but I sabi ghost on person well; a frustrating or unpleasant lover that feels he is still on with me

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    1. Gbam at ESS, my ex don't know boundaries! This sucks like HELL give him gist abt a person, he goes probing to d point of obtaining the persons nos and suddenly becomes ' friends' with them ,socially awkward Xter, stalks like Hell, cut him off once but needed smfin which he cldnt do,in d one yr grace I gave him I saw his real LOW SELF ESTEEM.... Cooperate work covered this very very well,so I didn't c his disgusting xters well, go to his office he curses complains and a lot of petty shyt which his working in a cooperate organization Hide. How do one explain u knowing every female u come across to knowing there friends join? Haba face ur family Mr good man, to d point of there families and turn it to gist for others( very basket mouthed)? Cos they opened there door to u? For real? Omo I made sure I don't call girlfriends names when gisting otherwise he goes probing in my contact to steal nos and turn them to his friends. Disgusting much! Some pple no be am abeg especially when dey r petty! This one jealous DIE! How wld u b comparing or competing or even b interested in someone way way way ur junior wen you were her boss what's ur interest y probe her life with her new hubby? Even if other busy body pple that had/ have beef with her come to gist u she can't afford rent anymore? Why wld u a MAN b peddling such gist. Mhen so Sad ,half his gist is about pples downfall and u can tell it makes him Happy to talk about it(sick) ,he shd go get a life or face his family biko. The way he opens mouth and talk about other pple ! Ahhha chim ooo, to him is just gist o! But this pple spoke to u in confidence very silly man. His best friend a politician can't even help him, I know he must have done some silly or said some silly things which he shdnt to others, no boundaries, opens mouth like a cheap gossip!!! Gosh, He b that kin person wey even if u know say he needs something and he is dying,but u just remb his awkward Xter and d things he u prob told him in confidence being talked about by others carelessly. You no go like assist am! No limit to what comes out of his mouth. Y r u a MAN!!!!! Haaaaa even my younger once don't open mouth like tap. I fence d baggar off biko. B4 e go carry my story give the whole of Lagos! Irritating much

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    2. Ghosted my boo,ran for 3 good years but dude refused and waited till i came back.

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    3. Iv done it ooo. My J. Found out he was newly married (like a year) o with a diff facebook account. Just cut off immediately without explanation. Because feelings had already been caught and i can not have anything to do with a married man. Because thunder. But i missed him o...Oh well water under third mainland.

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    4. BV Nkem Ndem, you did a good job with this post. 👍

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    5. Queen Amy so you are now together. Does that mean it was true love and you regret the ghosting?

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    6. I wish I can ghost someone right now. Dude won't let me rest. I never agreed to date him when I was single talk more of now that am married with kids. Dude went on vacation abroad but still calls me morning and night. Hubby sef not helping matters as he just bone my side completely.

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    7. I've been ghosted and I've ghosted guys too. Make I not lie, e dey pain lol.

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  2. My current situation..it is well.

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    1. It is hurtful but it is well. I will sha come out on top.

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    2. Yes I have been ghosted in d worst way I still find weird. I hv been single for like 2-3 yrs. Went to PHCN office to complain about my meter n was directed to their boss. Got to his office n saw d dark handsome man with no smiles one bit n a baritone voice. Didn't even look up to my face n me also being a tough one, I ignored him n gave him my British accent n man look up to see who dey talk. Looked down n continued wt his paperwork n said how may I help u. Told him my meter issues n he asked me to drop my address that his boys will come n remove it to work on it n come back d next day. That was when I saw his ring. I just erased the bad thoughts n left. Went back d next day n met wt same stern look wt no smiles so somehow, I cracked a joke which I never do esp when I don't sense good reception n bobo smiled n asked me to sit down. We got talking n knowing he's married, I didn't bother thinking in that direction. I eventually left n kept going to hasten d process of re-installing my meter but don't see him often. Then one night he called me that he was at my gate(from d address I dropped obviously). I invited him in n he told me all d blah blah blah. I was so weak cos I really needed a hug at that time cos of d weather. Yes, we kissed n it was mad! I knew I wasn't ready for sex though but I wanted that warmth. In short, he came d next week again n we kissed again and still no sex even though I knew I was playing with fire. He hurriedly left ds second time though he stayed for like an hour. When my meter was installed, I went to thank him n that was it. He stopped calling n when I call he won't pick. Went to his office n he said he was no longer himself cos I drove him crazy with my kisses n he stopped thinking straight so it's best we go our separate ways. That's my story.

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    3. Omoh! 15:47 e be like sey you just gist sweet Telemundo...

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    4. As in ehhhhhh @sweet telemundo.
      See me smilling sheepishly.

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  3. Yes o, times without number





    *Larry was here*

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    1. I have ghosted on someone b4!
      Was such a silly guy.
      Not exagerating but this guy dropped close to 40missed calls on my fone! Just bcos I was so sick n couldn't pick his calls!

      Immediately I got myself, I ghosted on him KIA KIA. Not like we were even dating sef! Just decided to keep him as a friend after much pleading to be his gal.
      What nonsense!

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  4. The person that questions her self worth after a relationship packs up is one that has allowed the brat to pop the cookie jar.
    Most girls who have kept their vagina and dignity intact move on quickly.

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    1. Shut up please! We don hear dis thing tire

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    2. And its not even true, u can be a mermaid and still feel bad when a relationship ends.

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    3. This Issa fact I am team celibate and I move on super quick from guys who mess up or want sex. Dignity intact nothing to lose!

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    4. Why do some people talk like they know everything? Just say your personal experience and don't generalize. I have been ghosted by someone who didn't even see the colour of my bra, not to talk of pant. When you are emotionally invested in someone, talking all the time and sharing moments, it's painful when they ghost you without closure, you actually question your self worth. You wonder on how easy it is for someone who spoke to you every day to just stop speaking to you. It would hurt but you would move on. Please stop with this cookie jar like it's the key to paradise.

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  5. I have never ghosted and no one has ever ghosted me. But yea, I agree with the poster; ghosters are horrible people

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  6. my girlfriend in secondary school feeling funky because she was working with Abuja hospital that is popular. First day i called her, she started speaking through then nose, i asked her do you still remember me, the way she answered me, i had to cut off from her since 2007 till date.

    I dont care how she is or what she does.

    Anyway goodluck to others but for me that is one friend i never wished to have

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  7. i do ghost on a lot,and i know uts very terrible,but i just cant help it,the things i have been through has really affected me,so alot of times i just want to be alone.

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    1. If I ghost you, you must be pretty sure that you are to blame and you crossed the line of my deal breaker and I can't deal anymore. Other than that, I pretty much give peeps plenty of chances and the benefit of the doubt.

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  8. When you start showing signs of withdrawal, I take a walk immediately because I'll never forgive myself if I let the other party make the first move. I'll have sleepless nights and wish I could turn back the hands of time.
    Communication is KEY in everything we are involved in, be it a normal relationship, Friends with Benefits or platonic relationships too. This shit right here even makes some people think lowly of themselves that they find it difficult to seek closure, wondering what went wrong. NOBODY can ghost me. I am blessed with the gift of observation and the moment I notice any silly moves, I WALK.

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    1. You know I found out the hard way that closure is overrated. Just freaking move on.

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    2. Did I type this comment @ anon 13:41 no time to check time. I repay silence for silent plx. Any smell of games or manipulating it is straight up block and delete no time!

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    3. I realized that closure is overrated. It has nothing to offer. All is fair in love and war including ghosting, cry, feel bad and afterwards, move on. You don't even want a partner who is not decent or empathic enough to have a closure conversation

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  9. Hnmmm this will be interesting. Will read comments.

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  10. Yes, he confessed to have gone to the medium to "make me mad and clear all my family members from the face of the earth" after I parted with and "ghosted" him due to his philandering ways; including visiting brothels etc. five members of my family had inexplicable near death experiences in a very short period. I was moved to fast daily for a whole year and more. Well, I did not get mad. Sadly and with great pain in my heart, he lost four close relatives in quick succession; the price he paid Satan to get me mad.
    He wanted us to come back but I had moved on long ago; no longer available.

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    1. @Esther Mgbolu
      Proverbs 24:17 not gloat when your enemy falls;
      when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice,
      18or the Lord will see and disapprove
      and turn his wrath away from them.

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  11. I was once ghosted as a young lady and i felt like crap...had so many thoughts running through my head cos in my books the relationship was very sweet and almost perfect. And what made it more strange is the fact that there was no sex involved. So i just kept wondering what happened,i begged for an explanation severally but all my messages were completely ignored. Only for me to find out that the day he started ignoring me was actually his wedding day, chai! I tot i would die from the hurt and rejection. Its been over 10 years now,happily married with kids and i'm very glad that he was atleast decent enough to not have sex first before blanking out.

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  12. I have been on both sides, being the receiver wasn't funny o, but i let go easily , i will just wipe the memory clean which am very good at, on the other hand if i ghost on someone,i don't entirely without giving them an explanation, its when you keep on insisting i will ghost on you totally.

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  13. Jezzz, almost tot it was Ruben Abati.

    Never bn there, never experienced it

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  14. such has never happened to me.....

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  15. ghosting people is my hobby.
    sometimes the whole thing overwhelms me and all i can do is enter ghost mode.
    i am presently ghosting a few of my peeps now. people need alone time sometimes. but wen it has to do with relationshi, if i dont like u and dont want to hurt u by telling u to ur face all i gatta do is simply "ghost away"

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  16. I sent Stella a ghosting chronicle way back but she never posted it and it hurt more than the act but I've forgiven her and gotten closure ever since so I'm good

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  17. My dear I have been ghost too
    But it doesn't matter anymore cause the ghosting is for my own good jare,age indeed is not maturity.

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  18. Ghosting mostly happens when someone has been used. When the man has chopped and clean mouth or when the woman has chop the man's money but no drop back for ground lol. It's a childish thing to do nonetheless. If you no do again, just out with it so that the other party will know the koko and stop being a coward!

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    1. Not necessarily. Though I think it would really hurt when bodily fluids, money etc have been exchanged. But when you feel you have had a connection with someone, even if you haven't shared much with that person and the person disappears, it is painful. I think because you were already hooked in thinking of what could be, based on how you felt.

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  19. Speaking of 'ghosting' on people.........

    I think I do that with virtually everyone except family and at most three friends. I don't have a thing for people, I don't know why... For almost everyone it's like "I never want to see you again"

    Sometimes, I feel it's a terrible thing and try to make conscious effort to reach out, but after that, I go back to my shell...

    Am I the only one like this? 😓

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  20. Lol, I agree, I'm horrible.
    That's my modus operandi...
    But after some days I text 'pls stop,i'm fine'.
    I dunno, d feelings just disappear like 'poof'.
    I just like 'fun while it lasts'.
    I've been ghosted too, but I never called back after a day of calling, later d ghost comes back n oh my lord, I've forgotten about u dude, move on! Sies man.

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    1. Lies! Trying to be a bad girl like u aren't pained when they leave. U go grow old for ur mama house.

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    2. Lmaoooo, is it ya mama house,I will grow old but u won't, gorrit? freee my paent biko, daz y I hate clingy pple, we fucked, e sweet me n u, I see ur preek u c my vagina, we are SQUARE! No hard feelings.

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    3. skraaaaaaa pap pap ka ka ka skibidi pap pap...'BB🙌🙌🙌

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    4. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha Bb oooo,your cousins must hear this,hahahahahhahahahaa

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    5. @pipi, please where did this skrapa whatever come from and what exactly is it about? Been seeing it since yesterday and it's funny.

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    6. Lol @BlackBerry. Anon is it ur ghosting ni? Abeg free BlackBerry joor.

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    7. @BB, feels like I wrote this your comments o. After the first day of calling and no response, I move on, I feel hurt as the human that I am but I will never call again and they always come back but men, the ship has sailed.

      I don't even know why girls cry that they were used, did the person not enjoy the sex too. For me to fxck a guy, I must have really wanted it and being the type with high libido, na me dey use them sef. I fxck, make sure I enjoyed myself wella and move on.

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    8. Lmao @ free my paent biko...������

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  21. My ex did the exact thing to me. After one year of dating, dude just decided to stop talking to me. And you're right, you begin to even doubt yourself while at the same time going crazy trying to grasp any tiny bit of closure. He eventually reached out and he couldn't even give one reason for his actions but instead he tried to twist things making it look like I was the one at fault. (Took me a while to figure out what a narcissist he is). Would've probably been sad if I read this write up weeks ago, but I'm glad I can laugh about it now. Maybe I'll send my chronicle soon Stella.

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    1. I have been ghosted too but the good thing was that the guy sort of helped me ços i wàs thinking of breaking up with him and how to tell him but out of the blues he ghosted me, after a day of calling i put him behind me. It was good riddance añd a huge relief being free, lol. I don't like hurting people so it was really good that i was ghosted. Two months down the line, i was datiñg another guy and today i am with my husband. Ghosting is cowardly but it saved me from a miserable relationship😜

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  22. Yesso stella. My snm guy did this to us. We were so good,calls and texts. Like seriously, I liked him but all of a sudden he disappears like stopped calling me. Claims to be busy even when not n giving excuses 4 not remembering to call back when he sees my missed calls. I noticed n saw the signs at first bt ignored cos I felt we might still work things out. I had to forget him since he wasn't ready to change. I thought I could change a lil about him,work things out bla bla bla but he failed. Caught him in his own lies severally even tho he doesn't know some till date. He's just too regular with ladies. I don't think he's ready for something serious yet. I missed him tho cos he was d only one I gave a chance to listen and talk to. I never gave other attention cos I felt I've gotten my man. I can never call him except he does even tho I still got his number. I can't bring myself on a man who doesn't care me about me. I'm a beautiful girl,so why will a man treat me rudely? Never! Not me. I guess he has moved on. Dunno if he's dead or alive. God protect him tho. The feelings in our head died eventually. We just fell out but I'm not gonna give up,would repost my number on d next snm. Im not loosing hope on love.

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    1. Wow I have ghosted someone before and now I feel very bad about it. I hope she has forgiven me already because it's really sad especially when u can't do anything as the ghostee lol

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    2. Heya!!Pele!!!You may not see it today or tomorrow, but you will look back in a few years and you will realize that everything happened for a reason. You will be grateful that things didn’t work out the way you once wanted them to.’
      Keep standing, keep believing and keep hoping because God has a bright future in store for you!

      Delete
  23. My friend was ghosted by her guy so many times . This guy will love her only for 1 month in a year after which the other 11 month he will dissapear. Only to appear again n love her for one month and dissapear . She will cry for 11 month. This happened for 3 good years . I kept reminding her of how beautiful she is and that, the ghost bf is not worth the stress. But women sha, when they love they become stupid. It got to a point i stop given her a shoulder to cry on n gave her serious warning not to ever discuss the fool with me again . She became a shadow of herself . Trying to fine out if her vjay was not sweat enough or if she had a spiritual problem. She started thinking it was not ordinary n maybe her village people are after her n are trying to make her die as a single lady. I told her one day to open her heart and her mind. Be fun to be with, you will see you will find mr right . As God will have it, she met a guy and the guy was so swt and is still very swt. Ard the same period ghost bf came back n i told her that if you dare sleep with him again, then you are a disgrace . She finally listen to me and today . The mumu is flunting his gf on social media. She on the other hand is engage but she is hurt to see him flunting another woman. She is still trying to understand while he behaves like that towards her .

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    1. Hahaha ur friend needs a resetting brain slap.

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    2. Hit that your friend's head on the wall. She need a reset.. Lol

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    3. You friend is not well,Was her placenta tied to the guys own?

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    4. Your story made me laugh Bubul. But it hit home. It is real.

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    5. Eyaa, you will bounce back bigger and better.

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  24. Yeah.. I was a victim,it was really heartbreaking but life goes on..

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    1. Am a victim
      It's really hard moving on cos I still love him...and to make it worse,he flaunted another babe on his snap just few months after ghosting on me,I was so hurt

      Delete
  25. I also experience a similar thing. When i was doing my NySC i met this guy . 10 years older than i am. Oga was so nice n swt. But anytime i have a little financial issue n discuss it with him . He will vanish for weeks and even month till he is sure i should have sorted myself out . It continued that way till after NYSC. Any time i demand for an explanation, he will say he was busy. When i got a small job, the guy was all over claiming come n meet my people i wan marry you. I was shock jare . I borrow myself brain n ran . Till today she still calls . Now the stone has turn around and i am now the one ghosting him . I only pick his call when i feel like, n i told him i will never be with him again . He has ask for the reason so many times and i have decided i wont tell him anything. Me too am busy

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    Replies
    1. Nice one ojareh but you should have ghosted on him since

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  26. For someone to be ghosting the other, something must have happened.
    Nobody zones out just like that. (Except it the person has personal issues)
    But most likely, the ghostee must have hurt the ghoster in some way and the ghoster chooses to get past the episode without further drama.

    "The funny thing is that people who ghost others (ghosters) actually believe that they are doing the ‘ghostee’ a favour. They are cutting out the awkwardness of the conversation they would have to have with them to end the relationship, and saving them from the hurt of being rejected."
    - this explains it all.💯✔

    If there is really nothing concrete to talk about, then there is really nothing to be said.
    Childish or not,
    Just Move on.



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  27. Lol.......by my two good friends. Just because I had some ish at work. I've moved on. Deleted them on fb and others. Hehehehe. Life is funny. Everyone calls when you're up there the next moment you're challenged they fly away. I'll bounce back and see if they'll call back. No I'll feelings though as even me will run away from me right now. But it's a training process. I love my life better now. I care less about ppl. My kids and wife; my world. But una no try....at all. Wifey was too surprised. It's as if you guys planned it. Lol. Can't imagine how you'll feel when I'm back and we see f2f. Till then

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  28. I was once ghosted a very long time ago and trust me the feeling is really terrible,it leaves you with so many thoughts running through your mind so i never imagined i could also do that to someone. But i did. You see my ex knew i was a student and therefore needed money more than anything but he will never give unless i cook up serious stories yet he will always say he can't marry me unless i complete my education even though he knew i had just managed to get into school after several years of doing odd jobs and saving. He was so wealthy that he could afford to pay for the whole 4 years without feeling it but he didn't even for once offer to. He watched me toil daily doing one funny job to another just to buy handouts but from time to time he'd carelessly misplace money around the house and i'll take. I kept patching like that o till he decided to travel out for business. Hmmm this guy traveled for 3 whole months without dropping a dime. That was how i jeje borrowed myself brain and tried another guy that was on my case but i was ignoring cos i didnt want to cheat. I dated him for those 3months damn! I always had to pinch myself from time to time to be sure i wasn't dreaming,i mean this guy was just too good and over generous that when my stingy koko bf came back he couldn't believe how good i looked, the overnight upgrading no be here. Then he started to irritate me cos i had tasted someone else and knew exactly what i wanted, if he even tried to initiate sex e go be like say i wan vomit, na so i disappear o, this girl called and called, whatsapped me,bbm,sent our friends to me but i just ghosted him completely till he gave up. The other guy that wasn't even half as rich ad he was sponsored my education and even sent me for masters abroad, we are happily married now with 2 kids.

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    1. Awwwh so sweet. Almost my story with my babies daddy.. But still plotting my move with his friend so fard financial gain from his friend is unbelievable, all this Anambra men can b fraustating

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    2. Awwwh so sweet. Almost my story with my babies daddy.. But still plotting my move with his friend so fard financial gain from his friend is unbelievable, all this Anambra men can b fraustating

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  29. Story of my life at the mo. But will I kill myself? No!!!

    It will all end in praise.

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  30. Yes ooooo! Met a guy called gbeni tru social media..cool,tall n hansom..We clicked imdtly,we bacme guf frnds like wev knw all my life..few times he tried to kiss me buh i refused as i wasnt sure he really wants me. Well we jus stoped commcatin wen d bobo started forming too bsy, even to answer call na war,as an edo babe dat i is naaa i gv masef brain sharply n stopd calling,ever since,wev nt spoken. Sincerly i wish he'lld call me soon n lets start something great

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  31. It actually seems quite childish. I remember doing so, looong time ago. Could have been better managed though.

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  32. I ghosted one of my friends.
    She was always up in my business, asking questions about my life and things happening around me. But since she was a friend, I used to tell her. Not the deep things sha.

    I helped this lady with her masters application, I even helped her with her assignments. Imagine even looking for an apartment- I flew with her to the city to help her search.

    Only for her to get a job, move cities and not even inform me. It was a mutual friend who asked me " aren't you coming for her leaving party?"

    I was genuinely happy for her, But at the same time hurt. Plus she owes me $500. So I said dueces and I stopped talking to her. She calls, I don't answer. Even her texts, I just delete them. I don't even read them

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  33. Yes ooooo! Met a guy called gbeni tru social media..cool,tall n hansom..We clicked imdtly,we bacme guf frnds like wev knw all my life..few times he tried to kiss me buh i refused as i wasnt sure he really wants me. Well we jus stoped commcatin wen d bobo started forming too bsy, even to answer call na war,as an edo babe dat i is naaa i gv masef brain sharply n stopd calling,ever since,wev nt spoken. Sincerly i wish he'lld call me soon n lets start something great

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  34. Kaaai! So i was ghostin on my x whom i truly luv n still luv Deeply...though he hurt me i knw i can stil forgv him if he comes bck..i stalked him for over a yr untill d day he Put my Causin on his pro pics for days he did not changed it..dis is a guy tht uses only girl hes datin on his dp,was suprised and my causin kept saying they are just friends! For Gods sake who can u be a friend to ur causins X? Nt like she knew him bf we started datin! Dats a big NO for me...i deletd his numbers sharply so i can stop hurtin mysef and so i can heal up fast..i still rembr him wen eva i see my causin..i wish them well though,i pray n hope de get married cos its not jus gon work,as de will still brkup asap.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I am currently experiencing this. It sucks but I know I would get over it

    ReplyDelete
  36. Had this Facebook friend who suddenly went on ghost mode, deleted everyone on her friends list and changed her name. Surprising thing is you can't even send her another friend request or inbox to find out what happened. Since I know I didn't have any issues with her, I assume she just wants her space.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I used to ghost a lot when I was much younger coz I couldn't handle any form of confrontation and I wasn't very verbal then...don't get angry so easy but when you manage to get me to that level...I just walk away and ghost you and nothing you do or say'll change me. Ghosting was my only weapon then....if we're dating and ur body language starts telling me u don't want me as much as u used or as much as I'd like you to.. den I simply ghost you.

    These days..i'm very verbal and believe a lot in talking things through as the adult that I is....maturity is bae.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I have been ghosted on once upon a time in my life...
    Funny I didn't try to reach out or find out why. Later I was accused of being uncaring, imagine!
    You ghost Me, I free you, Then you turn around to accuse me of being nonchalant...Lol

    ReplyDelete
  39. Not experienced it but have ghosted some shaa

    ReplyDelete
  40. I do it o. I give people several chances and they just keep taking advantage and misbehaving. Thinking I am quiet and cool. Not knowing their days are numbered. The day I ghost them is almost always unexpected. Once I ghost, I have made up my mind that till I die, I will never speak to you again. That's why it takes time to ghost because I give the person so many chances to behave themselves, correct themselves and use their brain. We are all adults, if you keep behaving like a moron or imbecile at my own detriment, one day you will not find me there at all. I will just walk. Let your conscience speak to you as to your contribution to the breakdown of the friendship/relationship. It's not cowardice, there is just nothing more to say as the person has most likely fucked up so much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did I write this? This is so me. I give you lot of chances that you would begin questioning yourself if you were with my destiny. Lol but once I stand my ground,no turning back. I will never ever call you back. I always end up being the stone hearted one cos I won't seem to care anymore

      Delete
    2. You both spoke my mind...currently ghosting someone cos of so many issues...always feeling she's right and has a way to justify everything she does.

      Delete
    3. The catchword: "Let your conscience speak to u...

      A toast to this🥂

      Delete
  41. This is sooo me! I recently ghosted on a close friend who hurt me over the years we were friends. I thought I could forget what she did but it hurts so I decided to cut her off and I'm happy this way!

    It was sudden and unexpected and I bet she didn't see it coming. She's been calling and texting but nah I'm done with the friendship!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He who comes into equity must come with clean hands.

      Delete
    2. He who comes into equity must come with clean hands.

      Delete
  42. First time I'll do that...I was really constrained, no other way but to ease myself out (having made grievances known in the past severally but no changes). I don't fall in love blindly; I have the ability to retrace my steps quickly and adjust to emerging situation. For the first time in my life, I genuinely considered getting married when I met her; after a short while, I saw that she wasn't really ready(her actions were total opposite of her words). I was left with no option but that. BTW I met her right here several months back

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, you didn't ghost me,I made a decision because you were the opposite of what I had imagined. You are authoritative and you have no compassion whatsover in you.Do I regret my decision?(NO).So do not flatter yourself sugarboy, if you were the last dude on Earth, I would rather remain single.You weren't that bad though, just be less authoritative, be kind and listen more and please show ur emotions, damn!.I wish you well.

      Delete
  43. Story of my life..i can relate

    ReplyDelete
  44. Yes I've been ghosted several times. And I also ghost people who i feel r trying to rope me into something bad spiritually or entanglement that will lead me to compromise. Nowadays my blocking & deleting game is an Ace!
    For example I was asked to join a high school reunion on whatsapp & there r too many chats coming in every minute on the phone. While it was good thing for me to connect with old friends i haven't seen or spoken to in almost 32 years now. But many of them r gossipers, very devious women. Also the chats r really very annoying topics & things like talking about dirty igbo food all the time, ugba & isiewu & ofe nsala & pepper soup.
    Or looking for husband & wife for their kids or family members.
    I just deleted & blocked them after less than 7 days of joining the group. And since then I don't answer their phone calls or reply their email, chats. Only for the few..3 or 5 old school friends that I'm interested in connected with again who I gave my personal private phone #

    Sometimes it's best to immediately or quickly terminate things with someone or people that r mischievous & cunning!!!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Am currently doing that..And No I dont see it as a case of immaturity as they say Action speaks louder than words..There are some people even when you make it clear you cant be with that person, they feel frequent communication will ''awaken'' the feelings or emotion.s.I love ghosting and nothing will make me stop it if applied where it is necessary..

    ReplyDelete
  46. I ghosted on my ex. When I knew the relationship was going to cause my family and his some kind of ish cos we are family friends. I ghosted on him.

    I went to leave with my now late brother. When we later met years after, I just apologies to him. I didn't even feel so bad though.

    ReplyDelete
  47. I'm sorry,anonymous 16:39
    I don't know what's wrong with me

    ReplyDelete
  48. I'm sorry,anonymous 16:39
    I don't know what's wrong with me,maybe am scared of marriage but hmmm

    ReplyDelete
  49. As for me, I give u several opportunities to mess up and then, fiam! Ghost mode. Don't even bother reaching out. I've also been ghosted on countlessly...way back when, I'd beat myself up wondering what went wrong - I remember a case where d guy just disappeared into thin air and 7 months after, gist came to me that he had a baby from a gf he kept denying. So I was the side chick all along! Lol . Dude had the effrontery to call/text back after that duration as if nothing happened and as if we talked a day prior!
    Now, when I get ghosted on, I take it like a very very good sign that the heavens and fate is keeping me away from something horrible. Most times, the guys aren't worth it.
    For some of us, the talk, long or short explanations, bargaining and groveling, etc ain't worth it. What closure will one get from a guy who sits u down to tell u face to face that u ain't worth his time and day or u aren't what he's seeking for or he has another side piece that he feels is better than u ?
    Biko, Ghost mode and move on. Always see it as your "Chi" working in your favor. ( good thing smart phones of these days have the block and delete features! )

    ReplyDelete

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