Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Labour Room Drama 199

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Wednesday, 13 September 2017

Labour Room Drama 199

Laugh out loud kinda story.....




Hello Stella. You rock! As in... You rock die! Thank you for this wonderful platform. 


Now to my story... My pregnancy was really eventful. From loss of appetite to vomiting to frequent urination at the early stages i couldn't keep any food down, other than Ijebu garri without sugar. The urination was so bad that i had to start wearing sanitary pads because urine gushes out when i puke.


 It was not funny at all. My second trimester was all about spitting. I started going around with containers to spit in. I started retaining water in my third trimester. I swelled up to the point that there was no space for water to store itself anymore. Sometimes i would just start crying when i look in the mirror... Lol... 


Even my eyelids were swollen. Finally at 39 weeks I was tired of  being pregnant. Everyone thought i was carrying twins. My husband and I went to the doctor and asked to be induced, but we were told to wait for another two weeks to see what happens. Finally my due date came, but no show. 


The next day was my antenatal appointment, after the normal bp and urine check, the doctor said my bp was high and i had protein in my urine. Finally they booked me to be induced the next day which happened to be a Sunday! Hallelujah! 


When we got home that Saturday morning, I went straight to lie down, but couldn't really sleep, after about 1hour, I felt the urge to pee. As soon as i stood up from the bed, my water broke and started pouring out. I just went to sit on the wc to still urinate, but after urinating, water still was coming out, so we called the hospital and i was told to come over immediately. I was a bit reluctant because i had read somewhere that it is better that labor progresses before heading to the hospital, but my dh refused. Oga was like... Lets go now. 


During my pregnancy, i had armed myself with labor room experiences where women took off their clothes and were walking around naked, but i wasn't gonna do that, so i wore the kaftan i had arranged for myself, so that i wont have to remove my cloth... Stella! Little did i know!. 


When we got to the hospital, i was given a bed space, and we settled in. By this time, i just felt slight discomfort, not even as serious as menstrual cramps. I was just gisting with hubby. At a point i told him to go help me get corn and pear (ube), and i ate everything.

 He bought rice and I ate it too. Stella, my longer throat during the final weeks of my pregnancy was powerful. After about 4 hours of this discomfort that had progressed to painful menstrual cramps, the doctor came to check me, he said i was 2cm dilated! Ha! 2cm since! 


 While the doctor was checking me, the first real contraction hit me. That was how official labor began. Stella it wasn't funny mehn! I had read somewhere that walking around speeds things up, so i started walking around and mooing like a cow. 


Around 10pm, i was taken to the labor ward and i was the only one in there. I started singing, praying quoting the scriptures . Hubby was there with me but he was looking confused... It was after i put to bed that one of the nurses told me that he kept going outside the labour ward to cry... Lol. 


Stella, at some point, i was just talking gibberish. I didn't know when i removed my special kaftan, I stood there in all my pregnant glory and didn't care. I turned the labor ward into a church, forced the nurses to join me in singing....


 In the middle of the songs, i will start cussing out loud! Screaming f*ck, sh*t...


 The nurses would just look at themselves... I could tell they were trying their best not to laugh . After plenty drama, i begged them to go call the doctor to come check me, only for they guy to check and tell me i progressed to 3cm! 


Stella come see craze! I started speaking pidgin, me that has been speaking queens English before. I told my hubby to call our pastor as i was getting tired.


 He called and the pastor prayed with me on the phone, thirty minutes later, the doctor checked again,I had progressed to 8cm. This was around 3am. I couldn't stand again, i had to lay down and cry while my hubby and the nurse took turns to massage me. By 4am i felt an urge to push.... I told the nurse  and started pushing she was like no... Madam please don't.


 I was lifted on the bed where i would eventually birth my child. As soon as my back touched the bed, the labor pain vanished doctor checked and said 9cm, but no more contractions after waiting for sometime, they set up a line for the Oxytocin drip to induce labor... But i didn't feel anything, i was just crying and drifting in and out of consciousness.


 I needed to sleep so bad. At about 6:26 am, i heard the voice of the MD (God bless him). It was like his voice was what i needed to hear.... "madam you are doing really great! Wow.... Now all you have to do is listen to my voice... As soon as you feel the next contraction push with all your strength " I didn't even know that i was fully dilated. Since i wasn't feeling anything, i decided to push anyway. At my first push I crowned.... Like the strength came from nowhere. 


The doctor adjusted the baby and said ok push now, before i could muster the strength to give it a second go, my baby flew out! Just like that, i born pikin. I couldn't believe it. My baby came out at exactly 6:30am on Sunday morning, it was raining heavily... 


Every other thing was a blur... I heard my hubby crying really loudly and saying thank you Jesus, the doctor was birthing my placenta, i was bleeding heavily and i just needed to sleep so bad. After the nursed were able to stop the bleeding, i was cleaned up and taken to my room, my baby girl was nicely dressed and was fast asleep... I looked at her and broke down in tears. She had so much hair! So beautiful. Wow! I would never forget.


 It was a defining moment for me. She is one year and three months now, and i have eaten all the fried meat in the house and drank Pepsi today....this nasty uncontrollable urge to eat everything i come across. I guess i am in for round two!.




*Hahahahahahaha congrats on your second pregnancy.....or is that not why you are eating everything again?your husband cry finish e still climb step...bwahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahaahhaha

Two you go and see dan somewia!

Congrats...Really funny story.


40 comments:

Cute hajia Omo Mummy said...

Lol. Nice story... How do doctors measure the dilation in cm.. Na with ruler?? #confused

IsaacBABA (N1300 for 2GB, N1800 for 3GB..call 08066929956 for more info) said...

Awwwwww happy for you poster.... Turned it into a church then u begin scream fuck SHIT lol.... Things labour pain can cause.... Congratulations on this 2nd one and hopefully by now it will be too easy just like the Hebrew women did it... And hubby nor go cry again.... Chaaaai me I know say I go cry for the pain my wife go pass through just to bear my kids for us

Olori Orente said...

OMG
See me laughing out loudly
I enjoy your drama

O lord please when it's time....lemme just push once and drop straight

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

Congrats girl

Olaide Ogunmola said...

Hahahahhahahahahahahah. Very funny, reading this scares me a lot. It's well. Women are trying o, especially those whom their husband or boyfriend denies the pregnancy, they will av go tru the pain alone. In my next life na man I wan be. Olaidex4sure

Gold Taken said...

God bless your baby gal and your family.

Anonymous said...

Congrats Mada, may God bless her and give you strength to carry more and delivery safely ijn, baba God me safe go born my pikin when the due time reach oh and i shall testify to the glory of your name. Amen

Esther Mgbolu said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha@mooing like a cow,singing praise and worship,saying f**k,s**t.hahahahahahahahhaahahahahaha,oh ma God your story made my day.God bless your family

oguike akudo said...

My sister na finger o!

oguike akudo said...

Congrats, God make my own easy.

Alhaja said...

Congrats madam. God blessing on her always.

Anonymous said...

Nice one!👍. Buhahahaha 😁, couldn't help it. So poster, you mean sey you don preggo again? Choi!

young FOREVER said...

With their fingers.a finger indicates 2cm

young FOREVER said...

Amen

Anonymous said...

I've always avoiding labour room drama stories. Reading this got me laughing and crying at same time. Expecting my first child any moment and been praying I have it easy cos the journey has been rough.

Hot P!nk Lips said...

IF IT IS TRUE...I laughed so hard at the swearing part..Imagine singing '' Where are gathering together unto thee..Oh Fcuk, shit!! Lolzz..Jesus this story is funny and congrats on baby number 2. I hope Hubby wont cry like a river next time..

Cinnamon Apple said...

Amen o

Cinnamon Apple said...

Congrats dear. Nice

Anonymous said...

I couldnt stop reading this, repeated it for like 3times,congrats ma

ThatYorubaChic#wifenotcook said...

Awwwwwwwww

vicky J said...

hahahaha, very funny LRD. God bless women,we strong no be small oo

amanda favour said...

I enjoyed this story!
Things women go through in labour eeh!!! GOD bless all mothers!

Madame koinkoin a.k.a 'peace lover" said...

Hahahahahaha madame eat o , no shaking jare , God dey your side . Congrats to you n your husband nothing do una .

charitybino said...

Very funny.

Sharon Aminu said...

Lols😂😀😁
This is really funny

Slushious said...

Poster has to be careful.. preeclampsia is not a joke and should be monitored.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations poster. May the second one be better. I want to say something about our nurse Apuchupoyoyo. Madam I'm glad when I read your last chronicle and you mentioned confidentiality. Now confidentiality has a broad spectrum it doesn't only mean not divulging your patient's record/ health status to anyone. It also implies not bringing your patients stories to the blog. How could you break their trust that way? Some many people read blogs, there's no way one person connected to them won't read your post. In fact it may be a distant connection, a relative of theirs might have a blog loyalist as a friend. The world is crazily small. We have seen examples on this blog when a spouse would send a story and three women will claim its them because it's similar to what they are going through. Please desist from this path you are on, I find your write-ups entertaining, informative and most importantly educativd. However, it is you are in a position of trust it is wrong to breach that trust just for the delectation of people it might have severe consequences for the people involved. You just started, I pray you have a long and happy career. You could even write a memoir at the end but to be running to the blog and sharing people's story the minute it happens is wrong. You might also consider journalism or some if you are so interested in stories but please not at the expense of others. I hope you see this. I couldn't comment on your last post.

VICTORIOUS EHIS said...

I really did enjoyed ur story madam.congrats on ur second too

kome Etitifor said...

Lol really interesting story..
Amen o we dat are still single

Anonymous said...

I will suggest you people start your story from the labour ward please and leave it the vomiting and other 9 months details....

It is called Labour Room Drama.. Not " Your 9 months Pregnancy Story"

Big Congratulations all the same.

kenny jay said...

5 fingers indicate 10cm...just can't forget d one dat gave birth on Monday afternoonb at our clinic, As I was holding her hand in other to push, she bite me, I bited her back instantly, she dooesnt even feel the pain from the bite, may be bcoz she's in pain during labour.it crazy I know lol

Nobi's Mum said...

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍. I sincerely pray nobody known to me comes in contact with her.

Nilla Chibueze said...

Congrats babe, God bless and protect your Princess.

MERCY E. U said...

Congratulations, i am next

Anonymous said...

My pain threshold is quite high,but I ain't cut for that pushing thing. When I'm due I'll just stroll in for elective CS and get myself a nice tummy tuck while I'm at it. Shikena! Ejighi afufu anya isi ( one does not make boasts with suffering)

Nilla Chibueze said...

Oh labor, will not forget how I almost gave birth at home. Came back after d days activities n was very hungry. I asked my sister to prepare porridge yam with veggies for me, ate 2 plates n was still hungry but didn't know it was labor but everywhere became hot for me so I decided to stay on d floor. At about 10pm felt pains but said to myself that should be false labor but it still continued but I kept myself busy that nite started arranging my things to hit d hospital in d morning, about past 12am felt did sharp pain n screamed DH woke up n asked what was wrong, told him sharp pain n he insisted we go to d hospital but I begged to wait till morning but he insisted n we left. On our way d pain had increased I couldn't sit n had to put my knees on d seat, we got to d hospital by 1.20am n I was told to come to d labour room so d can check me, my dear people d nurse shouted bring baby cloths n turned me back with speed to prepare tins for delivery, at exactly 1.35am my precious Daughter popped out with ease n just a push. God did this,d only One who knows d end from d beginning. Be thou exalted.

Cinnamon Apple said...

Lord please this is how I want mine, thank you for the answered prayers

Anonymous said...

Lord, when will I also share my own LRD? I am TIRED. #4yearsofTTC# 1failedIVF#

Beloved said...

But all fingers (abi fist now) are not equal na
My 10 could be someone else's 8... I heard that finger stuff is really painful

Poster you can narrate walahi...

Anonymous said...

You just don't worry about how He will do it.
He is the God of all flesh, is there anything too hard for Him? I dare say, No! In regards to when, Let His 'Perfect' will be done and not His 'Permissible' will.
In the meantime keep yourself distracted and occupied and enjoy yourself because they(babies) will come and demand all your time and attention 😘
Be blessed 🙏🏽

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