Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Iya Ibeji Series - Open Roof Bathroom Experience.

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Saturday, 14 October 2017

Iya Ibeji Series - Open Roof Bathroom Experience.

Iya Ibeji has come again with her delightful stories...LOL




I have a dear aunt in Benin city that lived somewhere between first east circular road and Akpakpava road. If you know Benin city very well you will know these are old areas. 


Though she was my favorite aunt I never liked sleeping over at her house. She had asked me why severally but I couldn't tell her the truth. But one time we had a family function and I didn't have a choice but to sleep over at her house. This is why I use to dread her place.

She uses a pit toilet and open roof bathrooms. You know that kind bathroom wey David for take see Betsheba.
So the evening I got there I took my bath in the open roof bathroom and it was pretty cool you know with the cool breeze, the moon and stars in all their glory. I didn't really mind. But the next morning was different.
Did I mention that the bathroom and toilet were outside the main house? OK o.

So next morning I carried bucket to bath then I realized the bathroom walls were short . Me wey I be that kind 5:10 abi 5:11 feet tall. Before I remove wrapper I had to measure bobbi to the fall to see if bobbi will show. When I was sure bobbi wasn't on display I removed wrapper to start bathing, poured first water on my body, people were passing o and as uncomfortable as I felt I boned. As I brought out sponge to scrub na so I hear.

MAN : Iya beji you come?
(My aunt's neighbour)
IYA BEJI : (forced a smile) yes
MAN? when did you come na?
IYA BEJI: last night
MAN: how was your trip? mumsie and popsie them nko?
IYA BEJI : (for my mind) this guy no know say I naked? Why all the jamb questions?
I sha murmured a reply and come change face so he will leave. And just when I thought he got the message another friend waka come meet am for there.

MAN 2: Guy I hail
MAN: Bros how far?
MAN: you watch wetin super eagles Play yesterday?

And as they went on I was like seriously??
Wait o abi them dey use style look Bobbi? I use my hand to measure my chest to the wall,bobbi cover na. But I had to cover them with my hands just in case, I come squat join am.

The first guy turned and started talking to me again. I just dropped sponge and poured the bucket of water on my body, didn't bother to dry with a towel I tied wrapper and headed for the house.
MAN: we go dey see now
IYA BEJI : (for my mind) you and who?
It's mostly for my mind because before ehn I used to be timid.
Anyway after that incident I just resolve to dey bath very well at night and just pour water on my body in the morning.

Bathroom taken care of now e remain toilet, pit toilet. I couldn't enter that place when it was dark for fear of so many things, what if I fall? OK the pit wasn't big enough to swallow me especially those hips. Fear of snakes and other crawling insects. But after like the third day I couldn't hold it again o I gats use the loo.
I got in there and started wondering so many things like where to put my legs, fear of insects was still there. And the thing that bothered me the most was the odor that would come out from 3 days of no poo.

While I was still in thoughts one girl banged the door,i murmured a reply.
Final I balance to do the do, but do refuse to cooperate it wasn't comfortable with the environment.
The girl that knocked became inpatient and lousy. Saying all sorts like "who dey there o", "you dey born there" Etc.

When I finally came out I just bone dey waka because BVs believe me I never shit with so much people around me before.
As the girl entered the toilet she ran out screaming and exclaiming in Edo language something about the smell killing her.
For my mind I'm like if you wan die die, na I bone waka but I shame small sha.

35 comments:

Beloved said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
I am coming... BRB

Miss Ess said...

This is so hilarious πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

ChyAda adajesus said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜

God's Princess said...

Hehehe. I can so relate. Your own beta. A community I went to work sometimes back, the outside bathroom didn't even have a door and am 5:6 but Bobbi will still show. I tire for that kind of bathroom ooo.



Iyabeji Wannabe

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

Hahahaha very funny especially when the toilet is meant for everyone.

This one na face me I face you living

Chameleon said...

you go fear fear

AdeEsther (need quick loan? Call 09087090732) said...

Let me read this post for the first time

The Iya beji 1 said...

Lol.
Iya beji wanna be I see you

The Iya beji 1 said...

Pls do and tell me what you think

Isolde Fontaine said...

Nice one iya beji always enjoy your posts.

plumpyj. said...

Very funny.......

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

Hahahahahaha...
Face me I slap you things...
Be grateful anywhere you are cos people are really suffering in this country!...
I can relate to this story cos I grew up in an enviroment like this...
But ours then was not a pit toilet and an open roof bathroom...
Then,we use to bath outside at nights and it was bliss!,..
If you have never lived in this kind of enviroment,you will never understand the other side of life!...

Paul Okah said...

Lol! Boys like that kind thing.

Toria_Beauty(Organic skincare and Hair5C247AB6) said...

😁😁😁😁 nice one it's ibeji

Anonymous said...

Iya Ibeji
Na only you get all these "encounters" abi you dey manufacture them?

St.FranKooL.... said...

#What you do matters, but why you do it matters so much more*

KIDJO D MAMALAWO ������������ said...

Hahahahahaha. . . πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜….

Love.Eating.Pussy said...

Na wa oo, iya ibeji your story keeps getting better and better everyday πŸ˜‚

LEPπŸ˜›

Anonymous said...

πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

BettyO said...

Typical experience in a face me I slap you compound.
I grew up in such an environment.
Thank God that we don't look like what we've been thru.

Anonymous said...

This was the kind of bathroom in my compound during NYSC. There was door before oh, so it was manageable. Only for me to come back after Christmas to discover the door was no longer there. Had to convert my blanket to wrapper. In fact I used to go with up to 3 wrappers to take my bath then to avoid stories that touch.

Rowland Dominic said...

Iya Ibeji. When I was a kid and was told the story about rapture I wasn't so scared. Infact in my house they call me Mr. CIA, because I will investigate everything(I was an introvert), when those Jehovah Witness people would come and preach about redemption I won't say a thing. Till one day they quoted the part of the Bible that the meek shall inherit the earth, that was where i just concluded this life is too sweet how will I go to heaven and be singing praise and worship day and night and then not be able to dance to Michael Jackson's songs or Rap 2pacs Songs, abegi. I am meek and I will inherit the earth. One day My elder brother stole money from my kolo(Piggy Bank), I was so pained that all that was on my mind was how to revenge. That night I had poisoned a needle with rotten battery cells so he will seat on it, the plan was to put it on his chair in the morning before breakfast. That night in my sleep I dreamt there was trumpet sound and the Angels were ushering people into heaven. Those righteous ones were flying but I couldn't fly. I tried and tried but couldn't. Then I saw the earth collapsing and I tried to fly again but couldn't, then the Heavens was shut. When I woke up I was covered in sweat, that was a sign for me to drop my evil plans and I threw the needle away. Ever since then I only thought of positive things.

++++++++++++++++++++++

Iya Ibeji, you are very funny, this your stories makes me remember similar incidents. Why I'm able relate with them is because I have been through similar incidents.

Mine was when I went for a degree in Polytechnic of Ibadan Apete, I stayed with my childhood friend who was schooling there and stayed in a single room and not *selfcon*, let's face it, then there were hardly houses that were *Selfcon* in Apete. So that night I told my friend I wanted to bath and shit, because I just helped myself with a hot plate of Amala and Ewedu soup mixed with Gbegiri, and there was a ruckus in my stomach. So my friend, let's take him to Jay, so Jay took me to the back of the house where there was just a wooden box like bathroom with no toilet. So I asked Jay 'Guy where una dey shit' to my surprise Jay brought out a bag of nylon saying 'Guy for this Indomie Cottage(name of his lodge) na short put we dey do.' Then he showed me how to set the nylon and when I'm done the place to fling it over the fence. And then I shouldn't throw too far for there's another house just beside the shit drop site. So after doing 'the do', which was damn watery and almost filled the nylon.
I'm guessing you guys already know what happened next, well I threw the nylon to the drop site, but added a little muscle and it soughta went to the other compound and it splashed on someone's face and she exclaimed 'Hmmmm, tani oloriburuku to so igbe yen?(who is that idiot that threw that shit), I gently went into my room and shut the door, told Jay what I'd done and he laughed. The following morning we went to the next house alongside fellow neighbors and as they were insulting the person I also echoed the insults on myself.... Lol.

Anonymous said...

I can relate,my sister finished from Ibadan poly Apete,she use to give us gist about short put and all that.....It's been a long time na wa ooooo

The Iya beji 1 said...

Rowland you can write o. I better be careful make you no chance me

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

Hahahahahaha at your short put story..
Lwkmd

dee said...

This story made me remeber one incident when i went to a friends house. I wanted to use d toilet and when they showed me i just changed my mind..d toilet was not even a pit latrin, normal w.c but d seat was cracked and discoloured n it had this greyish puddle in it..water was scarce in dat area, so they stored the water from washed clothes for flushing...i felt so guilty ehn, cause d look on my friends face..i still feel bad when i remember

Anonymous said...

That kind bathroom wey David take see Bathsheba got me. Nice one iya ibeji. I remember nysc. I vowed not to use the toilet about a week after not going. Shot hook me one night. I wanted to do short put, I spread the paper prepared everything, I bent down as the onslaught started I just heard a crawling sound. My mind immediately went to snake. I jumped up, wore my pant like that, left the shut like that and ran to the room.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha, where my uncle dey b4, if rain fall u go wear rain boots enter water b4 u reach toilet o

Anonymous said...

So? Who you EPP? If you can't read & laugh, walk away! Must you comment?

Anonymous said...

@18:31
Easy
You go wound o!

Rowland Dominic said...

Queen your Last sentence made so much sense. #ICanRelate

Rowland Dominic said...

Iya Ibeji.... See my error. I mistakenly copied the whole text on my special reply notepad dedicated just for you. And please oh. Don't worry i can't chance you. 8 love your stories because i can relate to every single one. In fact growing up was so much fun for me, I think I should do what Camara Laye did in his book African Child

Anonymous said...

Queen and Boss, your last sentence is the truth. I remember my growing up days of short putting and I can't help but thank Jah

Anonymous said...

Your last sentence is the truth. God is good ojare

Ify Lovie Lovie said...

HaaahaaahaaahaaaHaaahaaahaaahaaa!!!!!!!!
OooommmmG!!!
I had a good laugh, in fact my kids are laughing along with me!
You is hilarious!
Chaaaai! Those your aunt's neighbours are so insensitive, lol!
I loooooooooove your stories. Keep it coming.

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