Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Friday, November 17, 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmm......





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT RELOCATING!!


Dear Stella, God bless you for the work you do. I am going to keep this as short as possible. Pls i need your advice and that of the bvs.(pls hide my identity)....



 So some time last year my friend hooked me up with some guy. (I guess everyone was tired of my being single) i wasn't really interested in the hook up cos he isn't in the country (i hate long distance relationships) but my friend advised me to just go with the flow and see where it gets.


 But i had it at the back of my mind that i was eventually going to get someone in Nigeria and forget about him. Time went by, we talked and got used to each other. I could tell he really liked me alot. But i didn't feel the same way.


 He is really a sweet guy and has my best interest at heart but there was just something missing, i couldn't connect with him in that way. I told my friend this and she said its just a matter of time.


 We kept on talking. We got along really well.and i began to like him and gradually we became official. So one day he asked if I'd like to relocate to the UK, i told him i wouldn't mind, that i have always wanted to but my savings wouldn't be enough for that.(my job doesnt pay that much) he said he was going to assist the best way he can.(we all know how hard naija is, and i have enough responsibilities)I told my dad about the relocation, he said he doesn't have enough money but he'd help with what he has.


 Note that i didn't tell my folks about my bf assisting me, i just told them i was using my savings. With the little i had and from my dad ,with the assistance from my bf. We processed it and i got my visa. Everyone was happy. I was to travel in 4months.

 Things started to change with me and my bf, we started having loads of arguments, and i realised we are 2 different people. 


We disagreed on almost everything. I began to wonder why i didn't see this. I became worried, my heart began to drift, for someone that i was learning to love, all these wasn't helping. I wasn't feeling the relationship anymore, so i decided not to travel anymore cos i don't want to land myself in one trouble that will be hard for me to get out of. 


I told my friend, she called me a fool, that cant i see its the devil that is trying to ruin my progress(lol) and besides what will i tell my folks that has spent the little cash they have, that i should go that ill eventually fall in love with him and we will have a good relationship.and if it doesn't work out, that i should leave.



I became confused. Cos i know deep down my heart,i do not love him.and i already feel indebted to him as it is, and i don't want to be tagged an ingrate if things eventually dont work out, and i leave him.He is really a good and wonderful man. But i just don't think he is wonderful for me. 


The last thing i want is to be unhappy and stay in relationship because i feel indebted to someone. I am supposed to leave in December, Stella do you think i should cancel my trip or still go and see if things could work out fine? Pls i need your advice urgently. 

Thank you very much.




*My dear are you relocating because of him or just using him to achieve that dream?..The Relationship was official and hat was why he decided to help you so if you go over he might be EXPECTANT....

S after using up all your savings and your dads,you want to cancel your trip and sit back in Nigeria?DOING WHAT EXACTLY?

Life is a risk and you never know.........

85 comments:

  1. Poster,from your story,you are the problem here!...
    With this attitude of yours,you will never have a man to call your own....
    You need a deliverance!...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. QnB I love your responses to real life issues most times... Except for pidgin knacking...

      Delete
    2. Nack one pigeon, head of lizard, one head of a snake and a head of owl, add some ukazi or scent leaves, black pepper, add water let it boil for about 20mins. You can call Linda or kidjo for more recipes. Thank me laterπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
    3. Queen and the boss why did you jump to the conclusion that she is the problem. She didn't say or mention any incident in details. You already judging her. So the mere fact that the guy stays in the UK makes him right. Or she should just say yes all because she wants to marry someone in the UK. If you don't have any good advice don't come and judge the innocent girl. Na advice she ask for not judgment.

      Delete
    4. Unfortunately the typical airheaded girl listens to women like Queen. This is why we never run out of chronicles. I can never understand how women think.

      Delete
    5. Wait o, is it all because you read UK there?
      If this man were to be in togo, Niger Republic or Libya, will
      all these go, go, go, be sounding?
      Women and greed!

      Delete
  2. If you think you can get a job quickly or get a business to do, kindly relocate.

    your friend was just pushing you, you be sheep dem they lead?

    Anyway think of all options and choose from. You said he is a good man and very wonderful, so why are you leaving him.

    anyway una sabi sha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster, how can you be relocating cos of a man who hadn't mentioned marriage or paid your bride price ? What if you become a single mother there?

      Delete
  3. Poster,pack up and go.Even if it doesn't work out between both of you,work hard and pay him his contribution for your relocation.
    Your friend has your interest at heart.

    Take the trip as an adventure and see how opportunity plays out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you sure you are not an ogbanje, Cus you haven't told us the truth, because of small arguments you remembered you were no longer interested in him, why waste his time and your parents money. You were never in like with him, that's just it, let him go so another lady can have a chance

      Delete
    2. Pack and go with what visa?
      Visit visas can't work and they have expiration date
      She couldn't have gotten permanent residency since they weren't married.
      So just resign from her work and go obodo oyibo to do what?
      Aimless trip
      Senseless jumping to conclusion.

      Delete
    3. Anon 20:43 my mind went taking all possible visas she could have gotten. And if its not a visiting visa it should be a win for her. If it's a student visa, She goes to school and gets degree. If its a visa that allows you to work, you earn and try to pay him back and assist your parents at home so they won't be angry.

      Im certain shes uneasy because the terms of her staying there consists of backyard things that she can't do with someone she doesn't trust. Thats why she can think of staying back. Cos if she doesn't cooperate, trust will be broken between them and nigga can call her out.

      Delete
    4. Poster, if you got a visitors/tourist visa, please take vacation from work, travel for the period of your vacation and come back. Don't resign o. Just go and check if you really like him or not. To go to UK and overstay your visa means you will never come back until you sort out your papers which also means you will be at your bf's mercy. I know girls that ended up that way, the boy would arrange some shady papers and when things don't work out between them, she will be kicked out and find her self on the streets and eventually back in Nigeria. Others stay on as illegal immigrants for years praying they will never be caught in an immigration raid. I will never advise anyone to travel as an illegal immigrants unless seeking genuine asylum. If he really wants to help, after the visiting visa expires, come back and let him process a visa that will let you stay and work. You are not at peace for reasons best known to you, all I can say is, follow that inner voice that is telling you to go or not to go. When yawa gas, no one on this blog will be there to suffer with you o. The decision is yours but DO NOT travel and overstay your visa. Apply for an extension if you go and decide to stay but don't breach the terms of your visa.

      Delete
  4. Poster,pack up and go.Even if it doesn't work out between both of you,work hard and pay him his contribution for your relocation.
    Your friend has your interest at heart.

    Take the trip as an adventure and see how opportunity plays out.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi poster
    We must learn to be tolerant in our relationship with others more so a loved one.

    If u have learnt to flow with him, and @least liked him to some extent and decided to go official on him, then there is something that convinced you u that u guys can be together.

    Every couple have disagreement. The ability to talk it over is what maturity is all about.

    We can't ask you for full details of what causes disagreement all the time now but deep down, you know if its your fault or his. Be tolerant is all I can ask.

    May God bless u guys

    ReplyDelete
  6. I will advise you go and see how things go,both of you haven't been together before so give it a chance.if it doesn't work,come back home

    ReplyDelete
  7. Abeg fall in love with him . Use your head n not your heart . Why do women allow their hrt to ruin everything?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Poster na wa for you. It is not by force to go. You can send me the guys number sha.

    ReplyDelete
  9. eleyi gidigan,you should look for someone you can stay with over there,or give him a try and see the turn of events,if it doesn't work out,walk away by then you should have gotten a job at least...because all the money you have spent you should make it back.
    Good luck with everything.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Opportunity comes but once. Poster be guided.

    ReplyDelete
  11. My dear poster take the risk.I think in every successful relationships and marriages you see today once had it's problems. So make up your mind to be in a positive way.I'm sure you will never regret it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Don't let me open my eyes n find u in naija, go, if it doesn't work out, find ur square root for UK too.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Poster inwere ezigbote nsogbu.
    Hapukwa Nwa mmadu ka owere ndu ya mee ife bara ulu.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Poster,abeeg carry go. Just keep an open mind o.k . if the relationship works out fine,if its doesn't let it go. Just don't cancel your trip.

    ReplyDelete
  15. The devil issa liar, you see honey but decided to choose bitterleaves. I reject it for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You go old and remain unhappy!
      Ingrate 'lasanlasan'

      Delete
    2. Walahi I don't understand this poster, does she think men are 100 percent perfect, only her said he is a good man, only her said she doesn't want. Okay o

      Delete
  16. Poster u need deliverance! People are looking for means to vamoose from this dungeon u got the opportunity and u are asking questions

    If u travel and it didn't work out, move on to someone else, get a job and pay him back. If u don't see job, do runs(after all na d same sin u dey sin with ur bf since he has not wifed u).

    Wat ever comes out, don't come back to this hell of a country Naija. Be wise opportunity comes but once

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Minus me o I love nigeria and love every where else for holiday :) but nigeria for living

      Delete
    2. I'm not interested in vamoosing from Nigeria. Life here is sweet for some of us

      Delete
  17. Poster, are for real? please don't make the same mistake i made years back that i'm still regretting. Pack your bag and travel. You said he's wonderful and nice, eh! Be open minded and be positive about it and see where it leads. You can work and earn a living. life is all about risk. That your friend really loves you and desire good for you. Don't forget her when things turn out well later for you because it such must. Please, be positive and try and view issues from different angle. May God help you

    ReplyDelete
  18. My humble advice is and you have to be very careful. Since you have the visa I will say go but with the following terms. Get someone in other than him that you can stay with in the UK. December is not a good time to go to UK. It's winter and adapting will be difficult for you. You will be at his mercy and he might just take advantage of it. You won't like it being a first timer.
    I assume what you have is a visiting visa so what if you see him in person and you don't like him. What will be your plan B? So it's better you stay with a friend or relative and let him visit you. London boys are so cunny and they tend to paint a different picture to you naive girls back home. How far are you sure your friend is not setting you up? Don't trust anyone these days. Go with your own secured plan. Once you get someone to accommodate you tell him you will be staying with family and I bet you will see him Change for good or bad. Don't even let him pick you up at the airport. If you get there and things does not go as planned Abeg come back home before your visa expires. Don't tell everyone you are relocating cause that's how people get themselves into problems and be ashamed of coming back. It's people who have never travel that relocating dey shack. It's just another place and if you don't have the means to stay don't waste your time and life. Abeg UK is 6hrs of flight no big deal. So have your OWN plan and let him be your plan B.

    Come back and thank me later.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Where is the like button ??poster pls follow this advice

      Delete
    2. Poster come and read this! Anon your head is correct πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

      Delete
    3. The only intelligent comment here. It shows you are exposed and have been there. Many of these Nigerians are poor in mind and spirit, they don't think long term and consequence. Go in UK without marrying him for your papers then you will wish you stayed back. Europe is not friendly to immigrants even with papers it will take you years to make money unlike America.do you know why London boys are stingy?

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    4. You saved me the energy to type. God bless you.

      Delete
    5. Gosh.... I love you πŸ’œπŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’–πŸ’—πŸ’“πŸ’›πŸ’œπŸ’ŸπŸ’žπŸ’Œ

      Delete
    6. Poster better read this work for word. Cos I'm sure its a visiting visa you have.

      Delete
    7. OMG thank you, thank you. Poster bookmark comment☝☝ don't say u were not told

      Delete
  19. Poster, what exactly are you looking for? The problem here is that you don't love him, if you did you would overlook all this things. If he didn't love he would not support you in anyway he did.
    Every relationship has its sweet and bitter moments,avoid all this quarrels. Your friend is right, your village people are at work.

    You should even be happy that you have a man who loves you more than you love him, atleast if things go wrong moving on would be relatively easy.
    He may not be your husband at the end of the day, he'll make your life better.

    Baby girl pray fervently, relocate, put in your best, make money and make your parents proud.

    ReplyDelete
  20. This is a life time opportunity you want to miss

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sugar babe you sound so funny. What makes it a lifetime opportunity. So going to UK makes one successful. Go and see Nigerians suffering and claiming they are in UK and shame no allow them come home. I see them everywhere in London. Doing jobs they will never do here and when they come home they will be forming for people like you and avoiding those who know their real life. Yes there are successful Nigerians in UK but most of this "visiting visa immigrant" just dey roam UK and US wasting away. Abeg success is not tied to UK or US. Suffering dey there too.

      Delete
    2. Anon 16:39 yes it depends on the type of visa she has.Nobody forms for me because i live in Europe and i know that the conditions here are far better than what we have in Nigeria.I gave birth to four kids through CS without paying a dime,why some people wants to die at the mere mention of "deportation "especially this rececion period

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    3. Yes now lifetime of joining the suffering and smiling Naija women club. They always like to recruit to keep their numbers up.

      Delete
    4. @sugar babe well.... Nigeria isn't all bad. For me I live better standards in nigeria than when I travel (relatively) It would take a lot to convince me to stay abroad. Shine teeth and shopping isokay. So each to his own.... yes our infrastructure is poor but i don't pay much on tax either

      Delete
    5. Chikito, ure my blogboo today....not taxed to death with no savings.

      Delete
  21. Poster, it doesn't matter if you're relocating to hunt for a relationship or not, what matters is you're leaving Nigeria...

    Do you ever wonder, why some Nigerians prefer staying in prisons abroad than coming back home? Pls LEAVE Nigeria now you've got the chance before the borders are closed. πŸ™πŸ½

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster I hope you will never regret your decision to stay.

      Delete
  22. So you want to remain in this hopeless country out of fear of what exactly.. madam carry your bags and go to the UK, then try to make it work and if it doesn't find your square roots and look for a way to better your life and that of your family.


    LEPπŸ˜›

    ReplyDelete
  23. See this poster o. So your father's investment should come to waste because of a man? Why not go first and see how it turns out? If the relationship doesn't work out, then you can work and return his investment but staying here in Nigeria is not wise.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I am shocked at the comments/advice I am reading here. All of you advising her to quickly relocate and find her "square root" if the relationship does not work out, have you asked the type of visa she was given? Is it a visiting visa or a permanent migration visa that will enable her to work? What do you take the UK to be - Eldorado or Paradise? Even if she has a permanent stay visa, I will advise her to remain in Nigeria - the UK is the worst place anyone can relocate to now, especially with the imminent Brexit. In addition to her double-minded feelings for the guy, she is going on a long road to emotional and financial HELL. I guess most of you have never lived in the UK (or anywhere in Europe), so you are fascinated by the so-called abroad!!

    My Dear Sista, I will advise that you do not embark on that trip or relocate because of him. If you do, you may regret it for the rest of your life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am shocked too!! The first question that pop in my head was what’s type of visa! You can not relocate with a visiting visa... Do you know what life is like living in the UK illegally?

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    2. She used relocate, so it was assumed she got the appropriate visa.

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    3. Since when did Nigerians not consider illegal settling as relocation option. This womans spirit is kicking against this and she brought her tales here instead of having sense and dropping the man and her friend

      Delete
    4. Few people with sense here. There is no way she got the permanent residency for the UK. Highest its 6months visa and she calls it relocation. I laugh! You are not married to a man and your folks don't even know about him yet you want to travel to see him? You have already made up your mind you just need shallow minded people to encourage you to move. It is only a family that is not expose you hear such nonsense. What skills or degree do you have that you think you could use in the UK? My friend sit your ass down and think like a girl with a brain.

      Delete
    5. I said so above. What type of visa? That's the most important thing. It's not just about leaving. I hate disobeying immigration rules and I wont advice anyone to. In fact, no decent guy would I advice her to stay without the right visa. The cons are crazy. You need to use someones NI to even work etc. Naah! Too much stress.

      Delete
    6. This post and the replies it has received shows that a lot of SDK readers are liars. Most of you that claim to live abroad certainly do not! If you did, you would know that Theresa May changed visa laws years ago, so one needs a company to sponsor their work permit.
      This person clearly doesn't already have a job lined up, so she is travelling in December with a tourist visa! Tourist visas are not permanent residency visas! Your life will be miserable.

      Do not travel on a tourist visa with the intention of staying!

      Delete
    7. Its evident its a tourist visa and its funny she conveniently left out that important fact in her narrative. However, her sending the story shows she's not sure she's doing the right thing. Babe, Have a back up plan. Don't be at the mercy of that dude. Winter in UK is bitter. You'll be at his mercy. Think it through. Only you know the true situation of things,we can only read between the lines. The UK is not all that....Gosh I've so littered this post, o really ka mi lara!

      Delete
  25. Babe!this is a lifetime opportunity.take it and never let it slip away.my two cent advice

    ReplyDelete
  26. Poster God will order your steps I have a clue of what this feels like in my case i lived in with this guy as a tenant for a few months after my studies in the uk the guy liked me and was pleading for me to stay back the fear of coming back to naija made me consider actually getting married to this guy whom i had no feelings or attraction whatever to, I closed my eye and decided to cave into his advances we had sex like 3times,I wanted to see if i could fake the love and build my UK dream, my dear never before have i felt so dirty, keeping in mind that should i get married to this guy I would be stuck with him for 10years to get ur permanent stay in the Uk,I had to give myself brain and I decided to come back to Nigeria, has it been worth it so far no, its hard its a daily struggle, but at least am not indebted to anyone and at least i have my freedom. The one thing i learnt from this is that nothing in this life is worth selling your Soul for. I hope this helps in some way good luck with whatever decision you decide on.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Love Eating Pussy, Nigeria is a 100% better to live in than the UK - I can tell you this categorically because I have tasted both countries. Remove infrastructure from the UK, it becomes a HELL HOLE. I guess most of you have never stepped out of Nigeria or you only visit the abroad for a week or two and return home - ask the honest ones who live there. There are more opportunities to make money in Nigeria than in a foreign land.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I don't really know your plan of travelling there but I will advice you to work underground for option B in case oga start drama go there with your senses be careful with your passport and other document you understand what am saying look very well and don't start acting funny and try to carry some money don't let him know so that if anything at all you will fall back on your plan B but wait o are you sure you are not the problem here? Just asking

    ReplyDelete
  29. plus Diaspora could be a very lonely place, So do yourself and that guy a favour and be completely honest with yourself, it is better you waste money now that u can always make back than get there and be frustrated with no one to lean on and a partner you cannot communicate with. think am well dear.Abroad is not all golden.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I wish i had the opportunity it doesn't mean you have to marry him. Just consider your future in Nigeria do you see it going anywhere? What if you meet your husband there? Like Stella said life is a risk. If you take that leap of faith it the end might be disastrous or have unbelievable fruits. Are you willing to take the risk?

    ReplyDelete
  31. poster plz go now dat u have d opportunity, tomorrow might be too late.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chai....More like give ur life to Christ, tomorrow might be too late. Na was o

      Delete
  32. Poster, i see that, concerning your relationship with him and the travel plans, you are a bit hesitant. In fact, the relationship is a major factor to you, because you feel quite uncertain about it. If it's what I am thinking, it might be because you cannot categorically say you KNOW him. It takes more than phone calls to get to know a person really well. There are some things you will never get to know about someone on the phone. Seeing him do the things he likes, relating with other people, even eating, etc are some of them. So, it is not out of place to tread with caution, we are talking about marriage here and I consider it sacred enough to warrant such 'care'. Be that as it may, I will encourage you to go on with the trip but not without having a broader perspective. This is what I mean, don't travel with him as the sole objective. Be adventurous, you need it in life to be successful. At the risk of coming across as a control jerk, let me sincerely offer you some thoughts:
    -Don't stay with him, make sure you have option(s)
    -Cease the opportunity to grow and develop yourself, through schools, training, skill acquisition, as the case may be.
    -If possible get a job
    -prepare to survive, with or without him
    -Tag along as a good friend and do your due diligence on getting to know him, and on that basis, make your decision.
    -Don't give him the impression he has something you are yet to offer him, be and act dignified.
    -Pray for guidance all the way.

    Hawk-Eyed!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You think here is where father Christmas lives to just give illegal immigrants schools, training and skills acquirement? The UK is the worst place to be illegal, Europe as a whole. With no documents, she will suffer and do menial jobs to survive and for a woman it's a nightmare to be here without papers. Men will alwayhs take advantage of her sexually and she can't report it otherwise she will be shifted back home and the job you are 10 times under paid than someone that is legal and on top you will work harder. Nigerians and Africans should stop all these complex you have for abroad. The only thing you will enjoy is electricity, good road and security and that if you manage to stay with someone that will treat you like a human being even family here don't expect you to stay here for long. You will be out in no time.
      The only advice I will give her is to come here as a visitor, visit and go back if it spent work. Make sure you borrow money in Nigeria to buy things you will sell once you are back home while looking for jobs or something better. But if you two work out then get married and you will have at least 2- 5 years stay in the UK as a spouse. So think about it, because everything is bought already, please buy a return tickets and have some money with you. Either way, you won't lose but if you go and stay with someone else,just be ready to suffer for years.

      Delete
  33. Dear poster 7 years ago I was in this place. I knew the guy, but was not into him. I eventually gave him d chance when i got to the UK. Today, I am the happiest woman on earth, not only is he caring, he is an ideal perfect man. God has blessed us with 3 wonderful kids, and I am in a better place. I do not know any Nigerian man living in Nigeria that would have been as wonderful. So take your chance, and if it does not work at-least you gave it a try. Best of Luck

    ReplyDelete
  34. Don't mind all these poor people here that see abroad like paradise. It's the worst place someone can be if you have no correct document. Life here is not easy, the security, infrastructures and education for the kids are great but you will work twice harder than in Nigeria. People like lying to others, i live here and there is not a day i wish i was in Nigeria. People that suffer in Nigeria are those without jobs and poor jobs. There aren't much opportunities but at least you are home with family. In the Uk you need to spend at least 5 years to have your definite stay and this is if you are married to the person, with an expiring visiting visa, you will suffer. Work as a carer or maid to nigerians here for £250 to £300 a month, no freedom for the fear of being arrested and deported, I will rather live in America as an illegal immigrant than in Europe. Come and see how nigerians are suffering here, looking for documents, squatting in a room.
    Many of you are just ignorant of the situation abroad and will rather die abroad than in nigeria. There are many opportunities to make good money in Nigeria if you know what to do, wise, hard working and socialize. No be una mates dey make money in Nigeria?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isn't it your mates that are making money too in the abroad ?

      Delete
  35. I'd say you shouldn't quit your job. Just go visit with the intention of returning. If things then work out and you guys are able to get along, then fine. Long Distance relationships are super tough, especially when you are just getting to know each other....and passing a message over the phone/text messages can be misconstrued most times so i'd advice for you to visit first, hang out with each other and then go from there. I'm not saying you should make up your mind in one month, no, things like these usually happen when you are about to make a huge change/decision...so i wont throw away what your friend said. You know how you feel deep down, we cant change that...but most importantly pray and ask God for directions as we cannot direct you!

    ReplyDelete
  36. It's clear most people need approval from others to make decisions as it affects their lives and how they intend to live it. You are simply the problem in all of this and don't seem to have a clear path to how you wanna live your life nor manage your future.
    Sit yourself down and answer a few questions;
    1. What is my plan and primary intent for wanting to leave this country at inception?
    2. Which country did i choose to go to or was it just a random wish and anything that shows up, i go with?
    3. Where or with whom will i stay and for how long?
    4. Now that a boyfriend is in the picture, what's is my plan in ensuring my own happiness and fulfilment of my dreams in relocating?
    5. How can he be a shoulder to lean on or otherwise in making me achieve my dreams?
    6. How do i repay my parents and relatives who assisted in ensuring my relocation or how do i make them proud of me?
    7. Is it worth going afterall and am i ready to bear all the risks and consequences of whatever choices and decisions i make as i embark in this trip.

    Once you get these cleared out, am sure you will know what is best for you and i wish you a happier life.. cheers

    #JustPasserBy

    ReplyDelete
  37. Stella you need to educate your BVs about life as an illegal abroad. Everybody is clamping down even the "free countries". Why would you leave peace of mind to go and be dependent on someone you are so unsure of.

    As a woman your intuition is your saving grace handed to you by God but desperation will not allow. Many women are pimped to these irresponsible men abroad. If that friend was a good friend she will not badger you so much. Why the rush? This man can sense your reluctance and has not tried to calm your fears? What do you know about him? Have you made research on his background? Have you even done a background search online? A perfect stranger is who this man is and you want to hop on a plan to move your life like that? Has he tried to see your family to ensure them that they can count on him to watch over you? guide you in a new land? Oh thats right, they don't know about him. Naija women put yourselves in bad situations due to a lack of planning and common sense. I assume you have the right papers and if not DO NOT MOVE AN INCH.You are employed, you have a supportive family leave desperate moves for those who have nothing to lose. If you want to, travel and visit for a month. Then come back and weigh things with a clear mind before your final move. Please be sensible. Your mind says stay....STAY.

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  38. I'd say you shouldn't quit your job. Just go visit with the intention of returning. If things then work out and you guys are able to get along, then fine. Long Distance relationships are super tough, especially when you are just getting to know each other....and passing a message over the phone/text messages can be misconstrued most times so i'd advice for you to visit first, hang out with each other and then go from there. I'm not saying you should make up your mind in one month, no, things like these usually happen when you are about to make a huge change/decision...so i wont throw away what your friend said. You know how you feel deep down, we cant change that...but most importantly pray and ask God for directions as we cannot direct you!

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  39. Queen and boss has said it all,poster you are a mumu, ewu hausa, if you like cancel your trip that one na your business.

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  40. Stella and BVs have really tried with their advice. The ball is in your court poster. Pray for God's guidance. I wish you well.

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