Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists - Exciting Neighbourhood Tales

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Saturday, 18 November 2017

Saturday In House Gists - Exciting Neighbourhood Tales

Neighbourhood tales are really exciting.....Some of us do 'ave em'...






The most interesting or funny Neighbourhood story will win the 10k cash prize.

let me give you an example of a neighbourhood story...

There was a man who KNEW everything going on in a street and its environs.he had a special chair by his balcony corner and if he sees you looking for someone or anything he can answer he replies you...from that Balcony he know who was dating who,who stole,who was committing adultery and who was gossipping,who missed school,who travelled,who entered each house..he knew everything!

Infact people used to go and take a longer route just to avoid him and his questions...his greeting was a questionnaire ''how are you? where are you going to?how long are you supposed to stay?your parents nko?what did ya mama cook today?your papa nko e go work?that boy disturbing you nko?............

It was horror!!

His kids were not allowed to go out and he suspected every move his wife made...lol

But the irony of his neighbourhood watch was that his four daughters got pregnant right under his nose and he fell into shock when he found out.

Obviously since he prevented them from going out and his neck was stretched from that Balcony to all corners,the men in the big house they stayed did a good job and he got all his sons in law in one house instead of in America as he always drummed  in their heads...hehehheheheehehehe

That Balcony should be put at the museum i swear!!!..lol

155 comments:

Miss Ess said...

I can't wait to read comments.....ir would be funny.

Anonymous said...

Chai, I no get tales oh. See correct flexing money. lemme see if I can forge something.

Beloved said...

OMG I was expecting the daughters pregnancy part...like WTF!!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

I would take longer routes too, ha I don't like 'Poke Nosers'. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


Okay there's this mama in my village, she knows everyone by their names, she knows every newborns date of birth, where and how you were born...everything, plus she has retentive memory.

When someone dies and they didn't know the real age to write...just ask this Grandma. She will download the person's history for you.

Anonymous said...

I have plenty neighbourhood gists. let me think of the most interesting one to share.

Mabold said...

My neighbor is always forming tush, singing songs she doesn't know the lyrics. Imagine some one that is in her late 30s, she will be singing until I become gwe gwe gwe, Abeg na so dem dey sing am

Adadioramma said...

Hehehehehehe, this is the reason my Mum still call one of our neighbour "Compound mail"
Coming back with gist.

Oh Lamee said...

Oh my....wish I was good with writing stories...

Nana said...

I grew up in the ghetto. I was a typical agepacko. Went to good schools but lived in a yard.

One day popsie was washing his car in front of the compound, mazda 626, I was playing outside when I noticed him giving a woman sign across the street. I told my elder sister about it, she in turn told my mum. My mum confronted him, he tried to cover up but she wasn't having any of that, she fought him, dad ran out of the house wearing a short to his friends house in the neighbourhood. People had gathered, you know street things na. He sent me to go bring his shirt and slippers. He stayed outside till my mum was calmed down by his friend. He never knew I was the genesis of his problem. I miss you dad.

Cute hajia Omo Mummy said...

Few years ago, when i was in secondary school, there was a young beautiful girl in my neighbourhood. This girl is very beautiful,jovial and intelligent. She is close to perfect and you can't help but wish to be like her. BUT, she is the neighbourhood public toilet. This girl is so loose that almost every guy in that neighbourhood slept with her. Married, single, in a relationship,infact, just be a guy and you are good to go.. At times,at night we ll see her mum looking for her or even dragging her from whoever house she slept in. If you happen to stay in the midst of guys discussing about her, chai, you ll never pray to give birth to a female. They ll be describing her like a toy. I heard some guys slept with her inside the bush in school. she attended a public school which worsen her situation.
Then in 2011, She got pregnant and could not point the person responsible. Guys were just pushing her around. "You dey craze! na me give you belle? No be Chinedu dey fu*k you!
Chinedu ll say " Thunder fire you there! no be you and Charly dey service am
Charly go say " me and that girl no dey again o, na Timothy fu*k am last o
It wasn't funny at all, the mother just bundled her to the village, never to be heard or seen again..

Zinny Chocolate said...

Our village compound is quite large but only one entrance. So you can see who comes and goes. My uncle remarried after the death of his wife to a very young lady. Since the man was already old, this lady started sharing all shareables to young guys in the village. Then the man died and she became public property. But this particular man used to come only at night, he'll pretend during the day like nothing was going on between them, but will sneak in at night through the back. (Apiam way). So we usually peep through her Windows to know the identity of the man and to catch him red-handed. Then we had to set a trap. We blocked the pathway with an empty drum so that he'd hit it with his bicycle. Early morning when it's time for him to leave, there was this loud sound accompanied with a cry for help. We all ran out including the elders of the compound. He got wounded alright but we were able to get the real identity of the father of her two kids through his confession.

Eka Joy said...

There's this my neighbor, a hair dresser wey her husband get small bar. This woman is a chronic gossip and 'quarreler'. I'm not sure there's anyone (save my mum) that she hasn't quarreled wit in that area.

And the moment I go to her shop like this, she must have a terrible tale to tell about someone. If she has reason to come to your house nko, wahala. She will talk talk and talk that u will wish she'd leave ur house.

Today she's friends with one person, tomorrow she's quarreling with that person and she's telling me about the person's fuck up!

Anonymous said...

My mum sold from the house, our living room was her shop and people from our neighborhood troop in to buy wrappers and laces and jewelry steady. Hardly will you find anyone buying and paying cash, they will buy and arrange a payment plan and I was the debt collector for Iya.
Most times me and my younger sis will be sent to go and draw the igbese and we used to deliver steady. Some will jokingly tell my mum not to send me to their houses because the way I used to do eh, they won't know when they cough out the money.
Aunty Ada was my mum's very good customer and stays in our neighbourhood she will buy goods of over 50k that time, when it's time to pay she will be turning Iya and iya will be smiling until she has had enough then she will send her debt collector to do her work.
As soon as I get to Aunty Ada's house and my presence is announced to her she will sigh and I will greet her then the following will ensue.
Me: good evening ma, hope you are fine, my mama send me
Aunty: thank you oh, tell your mama say I go come see her
Me: okay Aunty, but she say if you no give me at least half make I no come house oh (I will make my skinny frame comfortable on the rug and start watching whatever program her children are watching)
After some hours and they want to have dinner I will face them and be shunning my eyes on them, I will keep looking at her and her food then at her husband until they become uncomfortable. Aunty Ada will then speak Igbo to her oldest daughter and the girl will bring some money and hand over to her, she will count and give me then tell me
Aunty : Tell your mama make she no dey send you come again oh.
Me: yes ma, thank you ma, god bless you ma, when should I coke and collect the rest ma?
Aunty: dey go, I go call your mama.
Me: Okay ma, good night ma.
I will go to at least 5 debtors that night and collect plenty money from them all. When I return home my mum will laugh and wipe tears from her eyes.
I enjoyed this task for many reasons, aside from being dramatic and doing eye like an ogbanje i am also very good with words that will make you pay up fast, but the sweetest part of this all is that I also get to "block"
If you don't know what "block" means then ya a child and shouldn't be reading thisπŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

Baby M. Of.

Oluwadarasimi™ said...

Our neighbors daughter was my sister's friend. Her mum never wore pants for both she and her sister, they were always roaming around naked or sometimes just cloth. She always came to our apartment to call my sister out to play. "Tinko tinko, after round one, hide and seek and Mr macaroni....
So one day she came with her sister, and they went outside to play. Suddenly I heard loud a scream. I went to check what happened and saw her sister rolling on the floor with tears in her eyes shouting "ata nta mi nidi" repeatedly pointing at her private part.. which means "pepper is peppering me in my b*mb*m" Her mum and the neighbours had gathered to ask what was wrong but she couldn't explain as she was writhing in pain. Their mother started crying too saying " yee mogbe o, baba won ma pa mi lΓ© ni" which means "I'm dead, their father will kill me today". Everyone was confused on what to do, so our landlady brought out a big plastic filled it up with water and put her inside. She was there for long hours, even started dozing off. It was later her sister said, she saw her playing with a nylon but when she collected it she noticed the content was pepper. Ever since their mother started wearing pants for them and didn't allow them to come out to play again.

Love.Eating.Pussy said...

In my neighborhood we had a woman that sold bad ass Agoyin beans and bread and students would queue there early in the morning to get breakfast before going to school.

Now my secondary school was at the next street and our principal was one mean woman.
She would lock the school gate at exactly 7:50, 5mins after the school assembly started and anyone student or teacher that wasn't within the premises at that time would be turned back to go home.

The principal was one mean lady and was known for punctuality but alot of students would still not meet her 7:50 time stamp.

So one day the principal got fed up and took matters into her own hands.
She went to park her car in front of the spot where the Ewa Agoyin seller sold her beans in the morning.

So students would come close as soon as they saw their principals car they would walk away.

This continued for like say 20mins and then the Ewa Agoyin seller got mad, carried her pot of beans and put it on the boot of the principal saying that the principal was interfering with her business.

That was how fight started on our street, Posh principal and beans seller started throwing insults and before we could say jack they started throwing punches.

Trust we students we gathered around and then placed our bets.

Also some of us took scores of the fight and it was so bad that both the principal and the Ewa Agoyin seller got drenched in the palm oil stew of the beans.

After sometime people stepped in to settle the fight only for us to discover that the pot of beans had disappeared in the middle of the fight.

Trust students na, we later found the pot of beans at the back of one class in school...that day even me sef ate free beans and our school principal got renamed Agoyin principal.


LEPπŸ˜›

Olaide Ogunmola said...

My neighbour then in the university was something else, I was in 200l when she got admission and moved to a vacant room beside mine. The house was an old house in the village, because my campus was built in an ex governor home town. As a good neighbour, I got close to her, told her about the old women dos and don'ts, my new neighbour was happy and thanked me. Later on I just faced my own and she faced hers, but along the line, I noticed that my new neighbour can beg, especially when am trying new food, I will just hear, "Laide this your food will taste delicious", I won't have choice than to give her, this new neighbour continued and I didn't have choice but the reverse is her case. My new neighbour was very dirty, to the extent that the old women living in the house complained to me, so as to talk to her, I did try my best. I eventually left the house to a new hostel. There was a day I was with only 100 naira and wanted to eat breakfast, so i decided to buy bread alone and eat it cos it will sustain me. So I went straight to buy bread and luckily for me I met my old neighbour, and she was gisting me, I don't know how my big mouth said, I don't know have anything to eat with the bread, she just said " Laide u were once a good neighbour to me, so I have small stew in my pot, follow me home to take the stew", I couldn't say no, cause I don't want her to feel bad, I followed her home and she gave me her key, because she wanted to visit the toilet immediately she get home. I opened her room door and search for the pot of stew, Lo and behold I saw my neighbour pot stew on the floor beside her scattered shoes, uncovered and also closer to her night urine plastic,(we call it pooti during university days), I couldn't cry, I just put the stew in one of her semi clean plate, i thanked her like say she dash me money, i took it home and I asked for forgiveness from God for wastage and thoroughly washed her plate. I just ate my bread with water. I just imagine if she said I should eat it in her place, I would have died long time again. Ever since she thought the favour she did will enable her ask for any kind favour, the last favour my old neighbour asked me was for me to beg my departmental lecturer to give her E in one of my core course. I just looked at her and said to myself, this lady thinks because of the poison she gave me, she can ask for anything. although I miss her anyway. original.

Anonymous said...

Stella don give una outline... Everybody dey copy, same story line etc everyone now has someone that sits and gossips

Meena said...

In my growing up years, there was this man in my street. He was a landlord and and owned a printing press in front of his building. He was very troublesome, so much that they nicknamed him Omiolota meaning water don't have enemy. You just have to be friends with him if you want to have peace as long as you live in the neighbourhood. None of his tenants stayed till their first rent money expired before moving out.
Mr omiolota used to call police to arrest and lock up kids and big boys who light fireworks popularly known as banger during Christmas and New year, almost all homes that had kids had paid police 5k back then to have their kids released from the cell thanks to Mr O.
He would watch out for houses that did illegal connection after NEPA disconnect them due to non payment of bills. When NEPA officials come, he would point them out.
When police comes to raid the drinking joints where some touts used to smoke weed, Mr Omiolota will tell them that there are some jobless men and guys around that he suspect them to be robbers, trust our police, they will ask him to point them out and he would make sure they pick everyone who had issues with him including their wives.
One day, he fought with one man and threatened to deal with the man seriously. He told the man that when next he comes in to the world he(the man) will not cross his part again. Two days later, the man slept and did not wake up. Police came and everyone in the neighbourhood shouted that Mr Omiolota killed him, that he had threatened to kill him. No one defended him despite his pleas, everyone wanted him locked up. That was how the police arrested Mr Omiolota and locked him up for months. When he was finally released. He became very sober. He was a gentleman till he died a few years later.

Iphie dearie said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Iphie dearie said...

πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ˜‚

Iphie dearie said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Pipi Lee said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
baby tatafo

Pipi Lee said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
kai!

Pipi Lee said...

wow!

Pipi Lee said...

omg!
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Pipi Lee said...

Principal didn't see that comingπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

kai! Who kidnapped the pot tho

Love.Eating.Pussy said...

(Save my mum) really...As a teacher using those words I shudder at what you teach your kids.

Instead of "save my mum"...just use "Except my mum".

LEPπŸ˜›

Pipi Lee said...

na wa

Aroh Lyna said...

I grew up in the city of Ajegunle, my house is just like Stella had described except that my mom used the balcony to monitor our movements to make matters worst her shop is just downstairs. Everyone in our street and beyond knows our names from the passerby, hawkers, mallams, etc because mum can send you to the market and after like 5mins be screaming your name from the balcony you could literally be at wilmer apapa and hear your name��. I was a responsible but wild child on this faithful val day my friends took me to boat club in beachland estate apapa I begged them to take me back when the time for lesson to be over was near but they refused sha found my way back to the venue of my lesson and started the long walk home knowing I was already late and mom would kill me. I was thinking up lies and walking home when I rammed into someone, mom. She beat me from Wilmer bridge to the house and everybody we passed had something to say about the wicked child that wants to kill her mom no one wants to hear my lies of how I was caught up in the cybercafe and lost track of time.

Beloved said...

*I wasn't expecting

Anonymous said...

We dubbed him "the hard worker" for 2reasons reasons. Every morning, he used to carry a wheel barrow filled with dirty dishes and pots and his usual destination is a a borehole few miles from his house. Its an average neighborhood where light is as sweet as sin and water is as annoying as my fart smell. So you can understand the reason why my dear hard worker has to leave his home & go to some place few miles from his house.
Rumour has it that once upon a time , he used to be a wealthy man. But his village people needed someone to test run their skills & unfortunately, Hard worker became their victim. Now he's lost his wealth and worships his wife the way Okorocha is scared to offend Pa Bubu. Hard worker's house is a mini hotel of some sort coz Boy! You can find every kinda relative there . Don't be surprised to find one of your slay uncle there lool. So that's why he's always on the move with his lovely black pots and dirty plates which makes you wonder if two gorillas 'poopoed' on the plates after whoever that has left.
The second reason why we call him the 'hard worker' is because of how hard he works to bring out a well respected fart in our neighborhood. These days you hardly see flies or mosquitoes in our area. We've got free insecticide wallahi , no be joke oh lol. Everyday, a house opposite his accomodates a 'brood' of lazy boxers whose only talent is to play draft abi na draff. Trust me, our dear neighbor is more loves to be there more than Davido loves to flaunt his wealth. Such an odious slay king!

But something happened last month that makes me pity him. He caught his wife pants down with another man in their matrimonial bed making love. You know what he did? With an unsmiling face , he went and picked a Bible close to the bed the horny bitch was lying on and started praying for the the adulterous souls. The wife and the pussy thief were so dumb founded that the wife knelt down and started crying, begging him to forgive her.

Now if you see these couples ehn, it'll make you believe that true love is way beyond what ponyo and d**k can offer. Before our prying eyes, from hard worker this dude has turned out to be wealthy worker.I dunno, grapevine info has it that his village people suddenly got Apollo and were unable to see him again. These days he's as sweet and wealthy than my landlord can ever be

Moral of the story:
There's a blessing in forgiveness
You may be done with life but God isn't done with you yet
Grace isnt and can never be same. Careful what you do with your life, Mugabe may have gotten away with his shortcomings but Buhari may not.
Happy weekend people. Pardon the errors. Didn't proofread

bberry604@gmail.com

Iphie dearie said...

Hehehehe

Anonymous said...

My mum sold from the house, our living room was her shop and people from our neighbourhood troop in to buy wrappers and laces and jewelry steady. Hardly will you find anyone buying and paying cash, they will buy and arrange a payment plan and yours faithfully was the debt collector for Iya.
Most times me and my younger sis will be sent to go and draw the igbese and we used to deliver steady. Some will jokingly tell my mum not to send me to their houses because the way I used to do eh, they won't know when they cough out the money.
Aunty Ada was my mum's very good customer and she will buy goods of over 50k that time, when it's time to pay she will be turning Iya and iya will be smiling until she has had enough then she will send her debt collector to do her work.
As soon as I get to Aunty Ada's house and my presence is announced to her she will sigh and I will greet her then the following will ensue.
Me: good evening ma, hope you are fine, my mama send me
Aunty: thank you oh, tell your mama say I go come see her
Me: okay Aunty, but she say if you no give me at least half make I no come house oh (I will make my skinny frame comfortable on the rug and start watching whatever program her children are watching)
After some hours and they want to have dinner I will face them and be shunning my eyes on them, I will keep looking at her and her food then at her husband until they become uncomfortable. Aunty Ada will then speak Igbo to her oldest daughter and the girl will bring some money and hand over to her, she will count and give me then tell me
Aunty : Tell your mama make she no dey send you come again oh.
Me: yes ma, thank you ma, god bless you ma, when should I coke and collect the rest ma?
Aunty: dey go, I go call your mama.
Me: Okay ma, good night ma.
I will go to at least 5 debtors that night and collect plenty money from them all. When I return home my mum will laugh and wipe tears from her eyes.
I enjoyed this task for many reasons, aside from being dramatic and doing eye like an ogbanje i am also very good with words that will make you pay up fast, but the sweetest part of this all is that I also get to "block"
If you don't know what "block" means then ya a child and shouldn't be hereπŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

Baby M. Of.

Oh Lamee said...

Ehya...

Eka Joy said...

Save my mum is correct even though it's not so much in use these days.

You know what u can keep wondering what I teach my kids till u die, it wouldn't change how well I teach my kids Abeg. That line is as stale as ur stupid self, try something smarter

Anonymous said...

NEIBO NEIBO
In my area I have different types of neighbours.... Oya let's meet them..
1. The one at the back of my house (hmmmmmm) who don see man wey sabi gossip well? Quarrel? Sister beater and insulter, everyday we will be hearing all secrets.
2. The one beside my house(left) very wicked but claiming good,she can lie down to greet you and be smiling, my dear if you hear her story en, you go say dis word na wah!
3. The one beside my house(right) that one can keep malice for Africa,enemy of progress, he doesn't even greet my parent because of hatred(I dey greet am before but I don stop) his children are now taking over from him.
4. The house in front of mine,when passing there pray the woman and her co amebo are not outside, if u just finish passing after greeting you my dear your career has finished! And no other way out! You must follow there.
5. The one beside (No4) the man has 2 wives, one can do asif she is Allah but she is dam wicked! Maltreats the 2nd wife and she can tarnish someone's image en!
6. The one beside (No3) Married man, he can follow small girls for Africa! And he even go church pass Pope.


They plenty sha,cant list all,but the thing is be careful not everyone means well for you.

Olori Orente said...

Hahahahaha
Gbeborun😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

Olori Orente said...

Lol... ..AnimashaunπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Olori Orente said...

Kikikikiki... .ata nta mi midi😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

Olori Orente said...

Confusion NAWA
Hahaha πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
You got my vote babe

Anonymous said...

Chai!πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ baba God abeg give Rasta pikin like this wey dey sharp and wey get sense like dis. I vote✌ for u


Anonymous Rasta

Anonymous said...

@LEP u no go leave eka joy now... She dey on her own u wan come carry trouble come. Eka baby no mind am


Anonymous Rasta

Mummy J said...

As a young girl in secondary school, my father was very strict with me, strong Christian background. I was scared of going close to guys, I had no boyfriend like some of my mates then at 16, he had instructed my mum to be checking my virginity every month end. Also, I must not stay out later than 7:30pm.
When I pass and guys call me I would just eye them and hiss. I also avoided walking alone on quiet corners and footpaths.
Now there was a foot path close to one beer parlour that we used to call Area 9 in my neighbourhood. It was a popular joint where big cars used to park at night. Loud music would be blaring from the speakers. Guys used to smoke Indian hemp and rape girls at night on this spot. So I avoided passing through there at night even though it was a short cut to my house.
One day, I had secretly attended a friend's birthday party and overstayed . I checked the time, 6:50pm. I quickly left the venue and started rushing home. I had to devise a way to get home before 7:30pm to avoid punishment. The only solution was to take the dangerous short cut. So I devised a plan. When I got close to the path, I removed my jacket and tied it on my head, removed one of my sandals, put it in my small bag and hanged the bag on my neck allowing it to rest on my back. I rolled one half of my trousers up, removed all my jewellries and started walking like a deformed person while displaying madness saying rubbish.
When I reached where they were gathered smoking weed, I intensified my madness and new walking style. I overheard them discussing.
Guy 1: that chief of yesterday said he needs a mad woman
Guy 2: This one will not work as she is deformed
Guy 1: let's take her to him first and if he rejects her we will return her.
By now I had walked past them, I didn't wait to hear the rest before picking race. I ran down the path screaming 'thief third thief ' till I reached the end where it connects my street. Remembering it now, I'm laughing as I type.

clement mojisola said...

I stayed with my grandmother a block of six flats. We stayed in one of the flats which is the first floor. We are Muslims while my neighbour who stayed in the flat below us were deep Christians. They are not Christians by just names alone but by deeds and attitudes too.
It was from them we learnt a lot of things. Every Christmas, they wake us up to pounded yam and vegetable soup, jollof rice and other varieties. But we were always looking forward to the pounded yam because we do not not own a mortar not to talk of a pestle.
This lovely woman will advise us, pray for us. They will do a lot of nice things for us. We stay there of our grandma came home late from.the mosque.
However this woman can be very blunt. She will hear our discussions from the house and still tell us her opinion about it. But unknown to us she wanted to be plain and we used to think she is a busy body.
This family had a grinding machine where everybody in the neighbourhood milled their grains or pepper. But in our case, we never pay. They grind for us free of charge no matter the quantity.
This family also give us 10 family size loaves of bread every Muslim celebration.
They were very liberal and kind.
It is indeed true that if the parents are good, their offsprings will turn out well.
Their offsprings are doing very well today. But unfortunately the woman died some month's ago at the age of 72.I will like to be a neighbour such as them. I will also love to have neighbours such as this too. Please vote for me. The hustle is real. lol

Esther Mgbolu said...

Lol

LANA DEL said...

Hahaaaaaaahaha

Ezenwanyi said...

And let me guess you are the neighbourhood gossipπŸ˜’

LANA DEL said...

Lol

Nana Tashia said...

Lol

Anonymous said...

Hahaha.. amebo

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha stubborn pikin

Esther Mgbolu said...

Lol

Esther Mgbolu said...

Hahahahahahahahaha...miss peepa

Iphie dearie said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
I enjoyed reading this

Iphie dearie said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Iphie dearie said...

Oh dear

Iphie dearie said...

😳

Iphie dearie said...

*Save for*????

DavinaRose said...

The way I laughed at the shining eye part eehn!. Why do I feel like your eye balls are big.

Esther Mgbolu said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...what is BLOCK???is it that you were blocking boys and men???nah kweshion i ask oo

Esther Mgbolu said...

Woah

DavinaRose said...

I have a prophetess neighbour whose husband is based in another state, comes home twice or trice a month. This lady is the assistant pastor of the ministry she attends.
She fucks the pastor/owner of the ministry like crazy. Leaves her kids at home all the time, sleeps out at least 3 times a week all in the name of program.
The pastor will come around the Hus to sleep sometimes when she ships her kids to go on compulsory hols or children camp.
He will sneak out in the early hours of the morning.
If she is not breaking coconut and sprinking the water here n there, she is catching birds for assignment.
Always acting all disgusted when her husband is around. Some women sha.

Esther Mgbolu said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

ademola ifesanmi said...

Bros Isaac for my neighborhood Don dey do am tey tey. Dem catch am one day.


One simpleton girl dey my neighborhood wey dis bros dey gbensh steadily. One afternoon, bros dey do marathon gbenshing with the girl, who's not more than 15yrs old, in an incompleted building. The girl mama dey find her upandan. The mama called her name:

Mama: Sarah!!!

Sarah: maaaa!!

Mama: where u dey?

Sarah: Isaac dey f••k me!!

The kind beating bros Isaac chop dat day... I no fit report am finish

Lizzy berry aka Mrs Atheist™ said...

Omg who is this child?πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha

Esther Mgbolu said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Madam Estateowner said...

@ Cute Hajia, someone cast a spell on that girl to rubbIsh her beauty and make her worthless. So sad

Kele Bobo said...

Growing up in a yard can always be fun.my mum was a no nonesense woman in the neighborhood who doesn't associate with people because she goes to the market very early in the morning and comes back late,and in all these movement,we can never enter our neighbors them house.so one day,there was this movie that just came out and all we had was just this black and white tv.One of our neighbors that had a very loud colored Tv was watching the movie,I quickly ran inside their house since my mama has gone to her shop,just settling down to start enjoying the movie like every other person,I heard my siblings chanting mama welcome.haaa I didn't know what to do,so I overheard when she asked my whereabout, everyone was just dodging the question,as I wanted to sneak out from my neighbor's back door,our landlady shouted mama Chigozie come and see your pikin here oo chai..my mama grabbed my bombom, gave me the beating of my life that I didn't know when I fell asleep till the next morning.that was how I started respecting myself in our neighborhood.

Esther Mgbolu said...

Hahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Esther Mgbolu said...

Eyaaaa...

Iphie dearie said...

That path must be deadly😳😳😳😳

Iphie dearie said...

Aaawwww
Nice family.

Iphie dearie said...

πŸ™†πŸ½‍♂️πŸ™†πŸ½‍♂️πŸ™†πŸ½‍♂️πŸ™†πŸ½‍♂️πŸ™†πŸ½‍♂️

Eka Joy said...

Iphie, u actually made me doubt myself so I went to Google so I don't argue in vain. 'save' is actually correct. Several examples were even given like that.

So it's correct

Anonymous said...

I vote for you dear

Most precious stone said...

Hahahaha You are creative

Anonymous said...

Ikwakwakwakwakwa pikin wey get sense πŸ‘

Rachel said...

There was this neighbor that bought 504 and that was the reigning car...He didn't fail to flaunt it.. every time he drives out and comes back, you see the children carrying bucket and sponge to wash the car an tyres...even during raining season..and ever night, the children will loose all four tyres and put the car on stone and take the tyres inside...according to him, he was preventing the car from being stolen..one day everyone woke up and Baba Emma's car was nowhere to be found...the robbers came with their tyres and took d car away

Ice Queen said...

Bad students I can imagine the embarrassment on the principal hahahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

Hahahahaha see better students,this kind tin fit happen for my school

Anonymous said...

Hahahaah
You should join nollywoood

Dark Horse said...

Hahahhhaahahhahahaha

Lady Port (The Portress) said...

Lmao. You are very funny

Praise said...

Lols. Your mum checked you every month, chai!

Mrs Gee said...

I tell you. Evil path that turned her to actress hehehehehe

Beloved said...

Correct tatafo πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Chameleon said...

lol. I vote you

Anonymous said...

Your story is demeaning and disgusting.

Anonymous said...

Sad

Anonymous said...

I vote

Omeh said...

Jesus! Hahahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

Because of your intentional need to be witty, you lost your reader

Unbreakable Me said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Anonymous said...

Loud music blaring from the speakers: how could you have heard them?

Lady Bug said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜Ž

Agoyin principal

Greatlady. said...

So funny.
I vote for you

Iphie dearie said...

Oh dearπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Claire said...

Lols

Jostified Doc said...

Bwahahahahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

Hahahahahahaha I like you already

Anonymous said...

Anon 20:49 she said the footpath where these boys are is beside the beer palor that music comes from. They were not inside the beer palor. So how will she not hear them, Read and understand.

Anonymous said...

This is why paedophilia and perversion is so rampant. And we are supposed to laugh?

Bold n Sleek said...

Hahahaha I just imagined this

John Snow said...

So funnyπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Adadioramma said...

So you remember that hunkle I gisted you people about him last time here. He had black and white Television then in my compound. He is the sole owner then, Lolz. You know small pikin things nah, we go go there you watch NTA, and some people go sleep off. Hunkle go rape whosoever that slept in his house o before returning you to your parents house. He later got married and had girls. As at today, 3 don born for house. Infact call hunkle for phone to greet am now, he go gist you husband and wife wey dey fight and the ones wey don seperate. He is pure agent of bad news.
So there was a time Police was harassing neighbourhood o, patrolling in the street every night. Na so hunkle go do amebo finish dey come back. Police kom carry am put inside bus. As they pass in front of our compound, unkle wife dey sell abuo (Kaikai) in front of our compound...Unkle shouted on top of his voice to his wife...mama Chioma anokwam ebea...The wife responded...Papa Chioma igwaram ebe ina aga. Na so Hunkle take sleep for police station o.

Eneres said...

this is the funniest thing ever! he never experredit. lmao

Anonymous said...

I really wish I can write epistle. I remember my married neighbor wu impregnated a lady outside. He wants to bring the lady home but he didn't know how so he told his friend to help him lie dat he wants to travel n so he d couple (my neighbor n his wife) shld help him accommodate his fiancee.. Meanwhile his wife has been TTC for 4 years. So dis lady entered o n start tormenting d wife o..

D wife was perplexed like why is dis lady behaving like dis.. She didn't know she was d husband mistress.. Along d line she got to know dat d husband is d owner of d pregnancy n d husband family arnt helping matters... Like dey were supporting d mistress since she isn't barren now.


D trouble was too much for d lady she had to leave d house.. Unknowingly to her she was pregnant with twins.. D mistress gave birth to a girl which died after 3mnths from cold... D lady was also promiscuous..


She was sent out n d man's family went to beg d first wife but after Wat she went through she said she isn't going back Dat he is free to see his children(a boy n a girl) anytime n be involved in dr lives buh she isn't going back. D man was always sad before we left d compound o...

La bebe said...

Kwakwakwakwakwa

Gracious said...

This made me laugh. You got my vote.

Telemundo Addict said...

This is so funny, children are indeed blessings from God

Beatle said...

I'm Rolling on the floor buhahahaha.

Mummy Jay said...

Hahahaha some kids are like this lmao

Mummy Jay said...

Hahahaha smart girl. Wow! Nice story

Ameera said...

Oh lawd πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ ur mother must be a lucky woman

Temma said...

Lols. Funny you

David kaltungo said...

Bwahahhhahhhhahahhhaa correct pikin

BLOGLORD (MVBM) said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
This really got me.
Free Agoyin day for students...to the detriment of the principalπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

I voteπŸ‘

20000 Nigerians 4 Sadiq Dabba said...

This child i wish to have hahahaha

Imrah said...

Lols. Nawah for your mum sha. And you turned to wereh.hahaha

Anonymous said...

FunnyπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚Ur story got me teary as well

BLOGLORD (MVBM) said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
I like how You are relentless in getting your mum's cash. You are actually the success engine behind the business and I am sure your mum will be so proud of you. A major business killer is debts unpaid.
So, πŸ‘.
I vote

BLOGLORD (MVBM) said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Sharp girlπŸ‘

But was anything done to the hooligans hanging around there preying on victims ?.cos they must have destroyed lives.

Imagine what could happen to a young girl who is not as sharp as you are. Sad.

Ostrich said...

I vote you

Ostrich said...

This story got me teary. Life!

Zeena said...

Chai! Upon all the precaution?!

Anonymous said...

But you said there was only one entrance? How was he able to come through the back?

Anonymous said...

Lolll Eka can never dissapoint Werewolf toh badh. Tuale Iya!

Amacastel said...

Hahahahah aproko 121

Workaholic said...

Hahahahahaha this sounds so real. My vote

Hustle and Dazzle said...

I voteπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Catholic and Proud said...

@bloglord πŸ‘ so so relentless say that again. I love kids that are smart u can't use their head o.

Anonymous said...

All of you going anonymous to vote yourselves wehdone oo. Kwontinue

Pipi Lee said...

Lmaooooooooooooooooo

Pipi Lee said...

I swear, this has to win. But it came in late.

Eka Joy said...

This is really funny even though it sounds untrue or exaggerated. But u got my vote

Achebe Blues said...

This really got me rolling.. I acted it in my mind so funny

Hercules said...

I just read this out to my room mates see laugh πŸ˜„πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ this story is funny. Pple can like to owe for Africa

Lilly said...

See me reeling with laughter this Sunday morning hehehehe

City Set On A Hill said...

Lol
You have my vote

Chioma Eke said...

Hahahahahahahahahaha

Village People said...

Hilarious storyπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Hybrid said...

Kikikikikikiki clever child

Movida Lounge Abuja said...

So nice a storyπŸ˜‚

Honey said...

Tiri gbosas for u. Lols

Kelechi Udeh said...

This got me.. Am a businessman and trust me I know what it means when u have debtors they somehow kill the business

Anonymous said...

Madam Eka, the correct expression in that context is "save for my mum"

blessed said...

You have my vote

Heiress Fitables said...

This takes the crown. Funny gist

Meena said...

Ewoo see royal rumble. Stella call Beloved to come and announce the winner already. See importers and exporters of blog ids, so tey they vote enter Sunday afternoon.
I just checked my gist up there now, it's only two votes that I got, #sadface. As I no get friends on the blog to vote for me even though my gist make sense wella. make I accept my fate like that, I will soak garri and drink and thank God for life. Thought I could win 5k to help help life this week. God dey.

LA Diva said...

Hahahahahaha pikin wey sabi

Anonymous said...

Baby M.Of. Is that one a blog id? How will you claim your prize if you win? I have a friend and a cousin with your exact initials and active bank accounts. I will just use any of them to claim the money if you win. We have been shouting since the beginning of I house house gist that you people should be using a valid blog id to post gist, some of you will not hear. How long does it take to open a blog id? Stella biko pick this anon ad the winner. Your inbox go hear am.

Anonymous said...

Baby M.Of. Is that one a blog id? How will you claim your prize if you win? I have a friend and a cousin with your exact initials and active bank accounts. I will just use any of them to claim the money if you win. We have been shouting since the beginning of I house house gist that you people should be using a valid blog id to post gist, some of you will not hear. How long does it take to open a blog id? Stella biko pick this anon as the winner. Your inbox go hear am.

Leftie said...

🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous 12: 09 I hope u are fine? The winner hasn't been announced yet and you are all over the place with ur bile filled heart on top Stella's 10k.. Pls take it easy, even if I win what makes u feel I won't present a very strong evidence on this story? Huh? Pls go ahead and gather ur relatives that have that initial, and claim what isnt yours and watch ur life become miserable...

Baby M. Of. ( morebaby82@ yahoo.com) original poster

Beloved said...

Alright Boos and baes, Voting has closed. Stayed tuned to Monday spontaneous for the results. Thank you all for entertaining us...love you, πŸ‘‹ πŸ‘‹

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