Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Advertisement

Advertisement - Mobile In-Article

Sunday, 17 December 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmm....






STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED ASAP CONCERNING GROOVING FATHER IN LAW


Greetings to Stella and BVs. I want this to be posted as chronicles because I need the advice of Bvs and Stella's red ink.


I can't but thank Stella for the series of Meet the In-laws. I met my prospective In-laws the day "Meet the Inlaws Part 1" was posted. 

I travelled to where my prospective in-laws reside for two purposes-; for boo's birthday & to meet his people. I was waiting in the hotel room waiting for boo to come pick me. While waiting, I picked my phone and was reading posts and comments on SDK blog as usual. I was happy when I saw the series. I read all comments and decided to erect my antennas and take notes of everything at my in-laws place. 


Boo came angrily and he said we were not going again. I asked for his reasons and he said that his dad was tipsy and he could not bear me seeing him for the first time in that state. I cajoled him and we left. Before leaving the room, his mum called and told him that he should not be angry. She later begged him to come back.


Anyways, boo has always been telling me that his dad loves alcohol. He also added that they love partying in his family. I didn't raise eyebrows because boo and I drink double black "Smirnoff".
Boo and I love hanging out on weekends to watch football match in bars or anytime we feel like taking suya, pepper soup and Smirnoff. But we hardly go for owambes. I don't like attending parties and he doesn't too.


We got to his house and I saw them in a typical Yoruba "partying mood". People were there celebrating my boo with stouts, jollof, pepper soup, salad, etc. They were asking boo why he left angrily. They teased him that he even went to bring me over and not that he was really angry.


Before we got to his parent's house, we stopped at a place to pick up a surprise cake I ordered for him. It was at a place close to the house. He was happy and went about telling those who cared to listen that I am his wife.
As a Yoruba girl, I knelt and greeted future FIL, he answered me well and asked if I was the one he used to talk to on the phone. I smiled and nodded. My fellow bvs, his dad was drunk but he was still chatting with me " sensibly". Permit me to use the word "sensibly".


Later, FIL came out of his room with a stick of cigarette and told me that "my wife, I smoke. There is no need of pretending". My boo almost broke down in tears. The mum turned to her sons and told them that they do not have another father and that they can't disown him. She later smiled and further said that she sees me as no visitor.


Boo's elder brother dragged the dad out and cautioned him. I heard something like " but dad. We have begged you to behave today of all days, why are you disgracing us in the presence of your son's visitor". The dad came in o and asked if I was a visitor. It was at that point that my guy called all his friends not to bother coming to meet me again o. I think he did not want them to see his dad in that state too. 


Their uncle was also present. He was not happy with his brother too and he was pacifying me and telling me that he knows that my boyfriend and his brothers won't turn out to be like their father. Future FIL is caring and spent a lot on the education of his children. But, drinking, smoking and his love for parties are his weaknesses. 


Boo's mum was reserved but shame was written all over her. She begged me not to be angry but I noticed that she was cold towards me. FIL was the one asking me all the questions MIL was supposed to ask. 


MIL was in the kitchen and she was using style to check me out. She will come out of the kitchen to enter the room and will be using her "corner eyes" to look at me. Our eyes "jammed" many times but she just asked if all was well at home. 


Boo said that his mum is a reserved type and that she knows everything about me already. Thus, her reasons for not flowing with me. She turned all my requests to help her with visitors down o while FIL called me to the kitchen to help him serve his friends Salad. He was calling me 'iyawo mi" all through.
I was surprised at the coldness of MIL. She was lively on phones and we had spoken numerous times over the phone. She even sent a wine to me through her son on my birthday. 


BIL and I had been chatting and talking on phone for up to a year now. So, we cliqued when we saw each other for the first time. We all took pictures together except the dad. He became angry that we didn't call him o.


Dad even welcomed me more than the MIL and he even gave me money when I was leaving. Boo's brother also gave me money o but MIL did not. I later returned to the hotel room with shame written all over my boo's face.
I calmed him down but he refused to calm down. He kept saying that his dad spoilt his plans even though he has not told me the plans. God knows that I was not pissed off but boo thought I pretended not to be angry. He told me not to pretend and to pour out my mind. I came back to my town the following day with money from FIL, BIL and Boo.


Stella, my own family is a mirror image of boo's family. Although we have our own imperfections but my parents and extended family do not drink. They don't even serve alcohol in family parties. FIL was bragging that his son's wedding ceremony with me will be one in town. 


People keep saying that family has the greatest influence on the children. I now know the house boo comes from, won't he be like his dad in the future? Won't he result to alcohol and smoking when the storms of life comes? 


I love my boo but I wasn't expecting what he has been telling me to be this much. He and his brother kept begging me not to be angry. MIL told me when i called her to inform her that i had gotten home that we will know each other more than this. His son kept telling me MIL kept asking if I wasn't angry( of which I am not). 


My guy still keep asking and begging me not to be angry. My reply is always that why will I be angry with the person that gave me a warm welcome.
Boo was bringing up suggestions on how to have our wedding without alcohol or cigarette drama. But, my interest and peace of mind on getting married to him has dropped from 80% to 50%. What if FIL drinks on our occasion and he starts misbehaving? I know that my people will cancel all arrangements.
Please advice me . Thanks for reading !!!




*I dont understand at all...why does the fact that your Father in law drink and smoke your business or anyones for that matter?Dont you drink?
Is the man not an adult? why is everyones nose in his business?I dont get it...

For Christ,he has a vice and didnt kill anyone!!!

I am sorry but i cannot see anything wrong with your FIL smoking and drinking as such a big problem that it would affect a marriage....There are other worries to occupy ones mind my dear!

68 comments:

Default Smile said...

Nawa

Miss Ess said...

Being drunk and tipsy at home is not problem, i think the problem is your fiance is ashamed that you met him for the first time i that state. And i also feel his drinking habit has caused Ă  lot of problem in that family.

Gorgeously Human said...

I read it to the end.
I scrolled up and down to find the 'problem' but didn't quite get it.

Maybe you didn't complete the 'chronicle'


#FabulousAndFlawed

Anonymous said...

Since you and "boo" are already drinking alcoholic wine when you hang out, don't you think you are priming him to be like his father?
Why not forget alcohol and seek God?

Blackberry said...

Shey u and ur boo, drink n booze too? So it shouldn't bother u if ur boo be like his father, it's either u guys stop drinking altogether or u adapt just like his mom is doing.
The mom was embarrassed, hence d coldness.

Kay Bee said...

Poster, if your hubby understands his family and knows how to avoid them. Then I don't see a problem here. Just be careful

Anonymous said...

The only thing that will make the sons not to be like their father is Jesus and you don't sound like you and fiance have made him a priority.

Intelligentsia princess said...

#poster,pls don't call off the engagement bcos of your FIL shortcomings. Don't you know most people that drink are open-minded and nice people. When they're angry you will know, also when they're mad at you they will show it. They don't pretend or hide their feelings. I
You should be scared of people that will tell you they don't drink nor smoke but their mind is darker than charcoal. Evil people hiding under the shadow of born again while they're the devil himself. So,leave the poor man and keep praying for him,sogbo? Life has taught me never to judge people bcos of their lifestyle.

Anonymous said...

Very childish question... My father womaniser..I don't.. So many pastors fathers are drunks and womaniser if I should let you know..do you have any other reason for not wanting to marry this young man whose father is also a cheerful man? I like the would be FIL already..don't know why everyone in his family want to him to be a sad man

Stella maris Baby said...

If you love your boo and made up your mind to settle down with him,his father's drinking of alcohol and smoking should not bother you.
You are not going to leave with the father but the son also dear bother less in your Fil d & s
Face your boo

Paul Okah said...

Apart from his force of habit, the dad is good man. Go ahead and marry your man: make him what you want him to be.

Anonymous said...

Marriage never hungry this girl.what is wrong in all these you wrote here.your man is even a good man to be begging you up and down.I like that man already.jolly good fellow

Anonymous said...

What type of chronicle is this one, abeg help me ask your boo papa which brand he takes so I will come with it on your wedding day,I like the man already,my father inlaw that I caught with babes red handed,yet I still married his son,he told my hubby,'my son if you carry babe,please don't tell your wife,ooo,I can see that love has blinded your eyes',dh told me everything,what matters to you now is your intending home,not your fil lifestyle,you even have a point against him .

Anonymous said...

The fact that Your father inlaw to be drinks and smoke doesn't mean your boo will turn out same in future. My father inlaw doesn't drink and smoke infact nobody does in my husband's immediate family, yet my husband is a chain smoker,which he hid from me for many years cos we were in a distance relationship and get to see once or twice a year . Sometimes these things aren't about the family but the individual. Please marry your boo if he is a good person don't judge his future with another person's.

Itsme Christy said...

My dear..i dnt understand...why are you bothering yourslf with problems when there is none??..he drinks ...he smokes..so what?..has he not been able to raise a fullgrown man..he is very capable of handling himself...my dad then used to drink md smoke..but that was just his bad habit...he was the sweetest..nd calmest dad and husband that anyone could have

Anonymous said...

Woo I'm sorry for you. By the time you r 40 and in your parent's house you will knw what's up. Pele shotigbo holier than thou.

Anonymous said...

Is this one chronicle?? Your FIL has a few vices but despite that he was and still is a responsible man who supported his family and he sounds like a very generous man too. From all indications his boys have all turned out well and none of them are alcoholics or drug fiends. Let me gist you my own. When I was brought to my ex inlaws house on the night of our wedding, one of my SILs (my ex has 5 sisters o) warned me to be careful of FIL as he routinely molests all the women of the house including his own daughters!!! In fact he groped his nephew's wife the first time he met her!! The thing wey that family and their son take my eye see no be here. I was very very lucky to escape with my life.

Abeg you have no problem. For as long as the man is not pouring drink or cigarette down your fiance or your own throat, live your life and let him be.

Kidjo(It's A New Dawn) said...

You re looking for problem where there's none..your father in law is just a jolly good fellow. How does his smoking and drinking affect your? As are as you were accepted by them then you have no problem.

Anonymous said...

Dont punish the child for the sins of the father. The son might have seen the father and learnt from him not to be a drinker rather than copying his ways. Not all children follow in the footsteps of their parents. Rather they learn from their mistakes

isaac olufemi said...

Imagine a FIL that never took care of his immediate family but chooses to be relevant at the last minute after the children are already made? You've met a free thinking man that welcomed you. What has his vices to do with marrying your Boo? Just be happy and marry the son jare. On your wedding day/any celebration with him around, you can try monitor his drinking and smoking. A Yoruba FIL out of respect for you will caution himself. Just show interest in helping him. Lobatan

Jael said...

I don't see anything wrong in the man's drinking and smoking. The man is a jolly good fellow without pretending.

Anonymous said...

The too many Boo Boo Boo thing no gree me understand the chronicle.

Love.Eating.Pussy said...

Your FIL is married to your boo's mum and their marriage is not your concern.

Your MIL was probably embarrassed and that is why she avoided you plus since you boo and his brothers were trying to make you comfortable she must felt that you had a heavy influence on her child and that would worry any normal mom.

Don't judge your union with your boo by his father's vice,he is not his father.
Also you might be lucky that your FIL might be your closest pal in the family.

Most people that smoke are free minded people so get of your high horse of been Miss perfect and accept your boos family for who they are.

Like stella said there are other things to worry about and this your FIL vice is just a silly excuse.
Remember no one is perfect.

LEP😛

Sally jayd said...

There is nothing wrong in your father in-law being himself. I like people that don't pretend. Your boo should stop giving him a hard time. If you really love him, get married to him. He is the one you will live with not his father. You said, he was talking sensibly and nice to you why bother about his drinking and smoking? I think, you are more worried about your family judging his ways of life. They should not because people are different. They should learn to tolerate him because we all can't be the same.

Fidel Castro said...

Live and let's live. You are the one making a,mountain out of this ,the one is an honest and straight forward person . he does not want to pretend ,I think he is lively and socially inclined ,I will advice to try to get close to him ,maybe someday you can help him out of the alcoholic lifestyle , trust me that man ain't got no trouble.

Iphie dearie said...

Lmao.
The character traits we are referring to is even more deep rooted than habits that are picked from peers and the environment.

A lot of women come from homes like this and vow to marry a man that does not drink nor smoke.. Why aren't they like their father then?

Interestingly, I even see your Man as a reserved one for being so shy and embarrased concerning his Dad’s situation. Other sons will even start dancing ‘Kilamiti’ with their drunk father without shame.
Your Mother inlaw obviously was not at her best, with her husband being drunk and all the chaos.. She might have lost the excitement.
A second visit won’t hurt.
If that guy has not given you reason to doubt him.. And if his siblings are welcoming.. I don’t see any reason why you shouldn't go ahead, Your family and he’s cannot be the same.
Good luck!

Promising star said...

I over tire for the chronicle o. Poster is your FIL the one you'll be spending your forever with?

Anonymous said...

there's nothing to worry about here one bit. Ure even lucky to be heading to a family where everybody likes and welcomed you well.
plz allow ur FIL to enjoy his life oo.

Anonymous said...

My dear if you come from a family like mine that nobody drinks or smokes (and frowned on)Ask yourself can you cope?. As for me I don't like smoking or drinking, not to talk of a man that hangs out in the beer parlour all in the name of watching ball with friends and get wasted in the process.The possibility that your husband to be won't drink or smoke like his father , is a 6/10 something.So if in future your husband misbehaves, is it this kind of father-in-law that want to settle your issues? (abeg nobody should come and preach about how couples should be one and not take their issues outside) let's be truthful to ourselves sometimes a problem may outweigh us and we need the advice or counselling of our parents or pastors in marriage.

Anonymous said...

there's nothing to worry about here one bit. Ure even lucky to be heading to a family where everybody likes and welcomed you well.
plz allow ur FIL to enjoy his life oo.

ibukun temi said...

My dear I will prefer ur FIL to ur MIL cos he's open minded and fun to be with don't be surprise if u start having issues with ur reserved MIL

baba cool said...

My sincere advise to you is something i read 2 decades ago "NEVER TRUST A MAN WHO DOESN'T SMOKE" odd but true. Most cigarette smokers are free spirited, open and tolerant. With them you will always know where you stand.
But incase it bothers you that much kindly post his contact online so that some single and searching ladies here will get off the singles club.
This is the worst chronicle i ever read. The guy is probably too good for you same with his father. Your myopic nature is sure to give him problems in future
Oshisco

baba cool said...

So because she's marrying the son she should dictate his lifestyle abi? You guys are simply incorrigible

Anonymous said...

All I see is boo, boo, boo.

Miss Juliet said...

Hian, Madam chill abeg. Allow the old man have his fun. You should be worried about the man you getting married to not someone u will be seeing once in a while.

Mimi Love said...

Hmmmm!Reading comments.

Samantha I said...

Dear poster, your FIL is not a pretender. Yes he smokes and drinks but those who are painting him black might be worse off. I gbadun the man already sef.

Madam Estateowner said...

Stella,have said it all. Are you getting married to him or the son? Except there's something else you are not saying here. It's your choice

Anonymous said...

Thanks @Princess

Anonymous said...

Stella, thanks for posting

Anonymous said...

Baba cool, quit smoking and take a chill pill

Yvonne said...

Looking for a problem where there is none.

You better face your front n marry his son.

Rappakatakata said...

I share same sentiments too.

Anonymous said...

15:11, Noted

Gold said...

This is the reason why people fall into the wrong hands. Why don't we like real people?? A man welcomes you into his home and treats you with respect and all you are bothered about is that he drinks and smokes?? Your problem my dear, is self-righteousness, which also happens to be your mother in law's problem. And I dare to say that your self-righteous mother in law to be has sown the wrong seeds in the hearts of her children.

Anonymous said...

I think she is from a very judgemental family. those type that watch your every move and she has carried that character to her boo's house. Rubbish chronicle.

Anonymous said...

17:54, side eyes @ you. Forgive me and my rubbish chronicle.

Anonymous said...

Poster is scared because she and boo drink occasionally. So you see, you nor holy pass. If you are scared why not stir you and your boo's past times to other things?

Anonymous said...

Ode you better leave him because his father enjoys his life . Mumu

Anonymous said...

Lmao! She loves her boo, she just dey fear.

Intelligentsia princess said...

You're welcome.

Blossom said...

Poster, you are too judgemental! You father in-law drinks and smokes, yes. It's a concern but it's not in your place to judge your fiancé based on his father's actions.

If you love your fiancé,marry him and stop bringing up irrelevant issues.

Anonymous said...

18:17, why the names calling? I will not leave him, you hear?

Anonymous said...

this chronicle tire me..so let me explain i and my boos family to you.
1. Im from delta state (ibo part), boo is yoruba.
2. my parents are full time pastor, in fact district overseers in one of the Pentecostal churches, boos parents are jst normal xtians, in fact i heard they were once muslims.
3. my parents are very educated, his are not.
4.my parents do not drink, his dad takes alchohol.
but guess what i love his family so much, they have taken me has theirs. the drinking for me aint no problem. and on my wedding day there will be plentu booze, i forgot the part that they also like partying too. if at all i dont marry beau, it definitely wnt be cos his family. so this ur chronicle get k leg.

Anonymous said...

this chronicle tire me..so let me explain i and my boos family to you.
1. Im from delta state (ibo part), boo is yoruba.
2. my parents are full time pastor, in fact district overseers in one of the Pentecostal churches, boos parents are jst normal xtians, in fact i heard they were once muslims.
3. my parents are very educated, his are not.
4.my parents do not drink, his dad takes alchohol.
but guess what i love his family so much, they have taken me has theirs. the drinking for me aint no problem. and on my wedding day there will be plentu booze, i forgot the part that they also like partying too. if at all i dont marry beau, it definitely wnt be cos his family. so this ur chronicle get k leg.

Fuck you said...

True...we can hide things...we don't pour out our minds...but our minds is not like charcoal pls

Fuck you said...

Why u no talk ur papa own...

Anonymous said...

Yes oh. This is a mentally sick young girl who is picking on things & fault finding foolishly against people who r adults happily enjoying their life & have nothing to do with her twisted frame of mind.
Woe be any human being or entity that enter my home & dare complain about me!!!
1diot!!!

Anonymous said...

Why can't you goan fry plantain for your boo boo you're here reading and replying comms you really don't have work!!

Anonymous said...

You are right princess.God bless you

Jostified Doc said...

No chronicle here joor. Poster ain't ready to marry. Looking for problems where there aren't.

Jostified Doc said...

Nicely said princess

Anonymous said...

20:56, I must have hit a nerve..lol...am I not supposed to read people's comments and learn? Why then did I send in my story at first? I am on xmas hols, so I don't have work!!

Anonymous said...

Thank you Stella you said it all. Poster how old are you please?

Anonymous said...

Me and you both o!

I echo Stella’s sentiments totally.

Kwikwi said...

He smokes and drinks and yet you had no problem collecting his money. You too are conniving and greedy! Work on your vice.

Anonymous said...

You just echoed my husband's personality. He doesn't drink or smoke and he's "born again" but he's got the blackest heart I have seen. Too secretive, locks his phone, beats me,cheats on me and a pathological liar. Wish I had married an unbelievable with a good heart that loves me and my 2 kids.

baba cool said...

So because i told you the truth means i smoke right? I swear it's the guy that wants to wife you that i pity. Psycoanalysing you, you are vain, domineering,controlling self righteousness, arrogant and petty. You are everything a man should flee from in a wife.
It's so unfortunate the guy is so blind he can't see this. For him to even be apologising for his father's lifestyle portrays him as a weakling who is wrapped round your thumb. I guess both of you deserve each other.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...