Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists - Best Christmas Story

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Saturday, 2 December 2017

Saturday In House Gists - Best Christmas Story

You got a Christmas story that will keep us glued from the first word to the last?






This week is the JOKER week and the winner will get 20k for their interesting story.

Please no words in shorthand cos i hardly understand the abbreviations.

Last week's winner was credited today.
If you read any story and you like it please vote in the comment section.This week,the winner lies in the hands of the votes.
Blog PA please note that there can only be ONE WINNER:

Make your gist interesting and add  dont over add magic please..LOL

185 comments:

Miss Ess said...

My best Christmas ever was the one i had in Calabar 2012. I saw Ekpe masquerade of different shaoes, sizes and colours. I have never seen Ekpe that much in my life. I am so looking forward to it this year if i have funds.

Anonymous said...

3men were drunk, they stopped a taxi. The taxi driver figured they were drunk, he just switchd on the engine and switchd it off and told them we have arrived. The first guy gave him money, the 2nd said thanks and the 3rd slapped him.
The driver was stunned because he was hoping none of them had realized d car didnt move an inch. So he asked the 3rd guy: what was that for? The guy replied: control your speed man,u almost got us killed

Iphie dearie said...

Oh boy!! I have a lots of nice christmas memories bit I think I will be voting/commenting today.

Note: I can comment, drop an emoji under any interesting gist I see ooh. Multiple votes is allowed abi?πŸ’ƒπŸΌπŸ’ƒπŸΌπŸ’ƒπŸΌπŸ’ƒπŸΌ Ofcourse, yes!!!

Hit me people!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I was about 7years old that year, as a pastor's daughter at the beginning of December we had lots of chicken from Thanksgiving service, but my parents would give them all out till we had just one chicken left.Moreso so they always left the smallest one which always left me seething in anger.That year it was a cock we named jagwa, jagwa was one sassy hell of a cock that took food off your hands and would stroll into the kitchen or sitting room depending on which door was open as if he owned the house.once we met jagwa perched on top of the TV in the sitting room. Well on Christmas morning, we boiled water as usual and mum asked me to catch jagwa, cos we let it rain freely, I had a good exercise from that.I handed jagwa to mama who cut it's throat, but jagwa refused to die. We both held on to jagwa till it quietened down, then we carried kettle to pour hot water on jagwa, as the first stream hit him jagwa sprang up with its dangling head and started running round the compound messing the walls with blood, well long story cut short, jagwa died but I spent most of that day cleaning blood off the walls of the house.

Most precious stone said...

Christmas time is always fun, let the stories roll in

Eka Joy said...

I think I remember quite little about my childhood Christmas. I was always looking forward to it cos we finally get brand new 'red made' dresses, shoes and maybe bags.

It was only one of the few times we got to kill life chicken for our Xmas stew (my mum is the best when it comes to Xmas stews, no kidding).

Then on that day, after eating, taking our bath then dressing up in our over size Mary Amaka dresses, we will then set out with neighbors, trekking from one corner of ikorodu to another (smh). Going to family friends' houses where we will then be given rice, shared soft drinks and maybe 10 or 20 naira as 'thanks for coming' takeaway.

Then around 6 or 7pm, we will then make our way slowly back home.

I can't believe I used to enjoy it then. I really can't. I guess a lot of 'poor' people can relate to this pattern of xmas celebration.

I really thank God for how we have grown past all of those, in every area possible. Chicken and turkey is now no longer a luxury we can't afford.

sucess said...

My own xmas story happens many many years ago.then I use to complain about my food not been enough when being served even before eating it. So on this very xmas day,mummy dished our meal jellof rice and immediately I saw my own portion I started complaining like every other day that it wasn't okay, grumbling without stop and refused to eat the food just a bad habit with me and not so long,mumsy came out from her room in annoyance and got the plate of jollof rice from me and turned it into a very big bowl then filled it with both jollof and white rice and stew we made then dragged me inside her room and gave me a serious warning to finish it up else I will regret the day I was born and locked me inside the room that not until I'm done,i shouldn't knock for the door to be open.on sighting how huge the bowl of rice is I started crying,pleading with my sibling that were peeling from the widow side to come help me with the food but they were helpless just like I was,that was how I started eating o and sweating at same time on top,later on started crying again calling on my mom that I couldn't finish it up but all the crying and pleading that I won't do it again all fell on deaf ear because mom left me there till I fell asleep on top the food and woke up later in our room to find out all of my sibblings had all gone out remaining I mom and dad alone in the house. From that day on ward I stopped the complaining of my food not being enough because I really learnt my lesson the hardest way.

Anonymous said...

Lemme go anony: Last xmas was interesting, my mom just put rice for fire n called me to come keep an eye on it while she went to gist with her husband and asked me,I came down, d pot never boil so I added salt, rice was ready, visitors have arrived, I dish rice to serve, decide to put one spoon for mouth, saaaaaaalllllt, I sweat, mom said what? I said, looks like there's toomuch salt, unknown to me she had added salt before calling me into d kitchen, she quickly rewash, heat n serve, if d guests tasted salt, I'm sure the masked their emotions well cos they ate n no one complained.

Temilade said...

I remembered dis incident day happened 2015 in church then. Dea was diz brother(bro dapo) dat was very friendly with d children in children's section,they decided to use bro dapo wen the father Christmas could not make it.Jes as father Christmas(bro dapo)came in.He said children children
.Immediately the children heard his voice, they jes shouted "BRO DAPO"
He was like no am πŸŽ…Santa Claus
The children shouted" no u are BRO DAPO AkINWUMI"
πŸ˜‚ lol

Eka Joy said...

This has actually happened to me before. Didn't know mum had added salt to rice and she didn't even tell me. But the good thing is that we realized early enough before the water had dried totally.

So she filled the pot with water, stirred a little then poured out the water.

And surprisingly, the rice ended up having the right salt quantity

Martins Aboy said...

@Anon 14:54,eeiiyyaa!! but was it jollof rice??

im asking because all my life,i havn't and dont use salt to cook white rice ..Dont know if i am alone tho.

@MARTINS ABOY

sucess said...

*peeping

Anonymous said...

It was White rice.

Mr A said...

Lmao.i vote for broda dapo o

Beloved SDK BLOG PA said...

Bangdadagang!!!

20K...what are we not saying. Let's go there!

The winner is the person with the highest valid votes. OK but if there's no winner, I will gladly take home the cash reward.lol
Okpu opi Na eficha onu na.lol

Remember no abbreviations o, SDK has spoken. Trust me to execute that statement to the last.lol

Oya leggo

viva ciara said...

Lol

Olaide Ogunmola said...

I remember this particular Christmas, I was 12 or more than as at that time, the whole family looked forward to december. Mum bought me nground, e(oversized) and dress,I was so happy and eager to wear my new shoe to church. Sometimes I sneaked to mum cupboard, put on the shoe,catwalk and acted a lot of drama in the room with my shoe. Mum came home to inform the family of our outing on the Christmas day to a family house, my joy knew no bound because I was anxious and eager to rock my new shoe and dress. Lo and Behold Christmas came, we got dressed up and mum kept tissue papers inside the new shoe, we went to church, got back and set for the outing, Mum, my elder sister and I waited at the bus stop for almost an hour or so, there was scarcity of commercial bus, at last a bus came and the passengers were so many that mum had to struggle with myself and my sister to enter the bus, we successfully entered and got to our destination. The bus had already moved on when I noticed that one of my leg was touching the ground, I quickly notified mum with tears running down my cheeks, I thought the tears will make mum pity me, the next thing I heard was a thunderous slap, and a serious insult on me,with more beatings. I thought that will make mum cancel the journey but no, my village people used mum that day, she said nothing will stop her from disembarking on the journey, we got to our family member house with lots of people and while mum and my elder sister were rocking their nice outfit, I also rocked mine with leaping and sad mood, I couldn't mingle with others cause they were well dressed and completed, I just ate and slept off. Ever since, once mum says laide,I saw a fine shoe for you, should I buy it. You all know my answer right.

Mrs Gee said...

When I was young, my family used to travel to my village every Christmas. We would go there and be forming aje butter meanwhile we were correct pako in Lagos where we lived. My mum would go to Aswani market and select fine okrika wears for us and for herself. The village people used to envy us, some would eye us when we pass them.
Back in the city, I was the champion in my home. Always defending my younger ones and even my elder brother sometimes. If anyone dared to raise a finger on any of my younger ones, the person would receive correct beating. So on one Christmas trip we were taught a good lesson.
A few days to Christmas in my village, we were playing at our backyard when a stone came from no where and hit me on the back. I looked around and saw Francis, a little boy of about 5yrs old running away. I told my siblings who I saw and we planned on showing him how we rolled in the city. I was about 7yrs old, my elder brother was 9, my younger brother was 5yrs , the last one, a girl, was about 3yrs old.
The next morning, we went out to pick palm kernel, as we were returning home, we saw Francis running an errand and holding two satchets of Milo, I double-crossed him and then gave him two hard knocks on the head. He cried home. Later in the evening, his mum came to my grandma to report us. My grandma who was physically challenged called out to my mum. My mum ran outside with us in toll. As they were arguing on whose child started the trouble, they started cussing themselves. Then the two women started fighting. Francis and his elder brother David, who was my agemate had followed their mum. When the women started fighting, David apparently prepared, turned to us and quickly sprayed us with sand in a nylon. As we became partially blind, he and Francis pounced on us kicking and raining blows on us all. They beat nonsense out of us. They had started feeding me with sand when some women from the next compound rescued us. My mum too had marks on her face from the other woman's finger nails.
Chai! Words quickly spread that a small boy and his little brother had beaten the four of us to stupor and fed us with sand while their mum also beat my mum and marked her face. Our yanga in the village had ended. Other kids would mock us whenever we go out. On Christmas day, we did not go out after church. We just stayed indoors because of shame. That Christmas would always be in my memory.

Anonymous said...

Spending this year,s Christmas in America with my new hubby,other years in Nigeria,just got married and here now,let me see what it will look like lol,we are mounting our Christmas tree today and have done alot of shopping, I am very happy,too much blessing.Who are those saying Marriage is not an achievement, marriage is a great thing o,time will come for every girl out there if u believe.

Chickyclassy Mee said...

Iphie iri kpole?Have a nice day

Kathy said...

We killed chickens very early in the morning on a Christmas day, my dad killed the chickens while my mum and I removed the feathers. There was this particular chicken that didn't want to die, it struggled but my dad managed to slit the throat. We placed it in hot water but it jumped out all of a sudden with the head dangling behind. The chicken started running, I was so scared, I thought it was not normal, it ran into my room, jumped on my bed and was running around. My dad went after it and I don't remember what he did. I refused to sleep in that room even though my parents tried to talk me into it. We had to convert it to the guest room and the guest room became my room.

Chickyclassy Mee said...

My Christmas experience in owerri as a kid was my best, after church service we had a dance group, where we tied wrapper on our chest and bum and with a whistle on the lip of the most senior in our group,we go from one house to another to dance, they call it "pipi dance"with a whistle, after dancing we collect money and leave to another house, we gathered money that year and shared it later at night when we returned home cos we come from a big family, so my cousins ,sisters were in the dance group, once we got to our village for Christmas in owerri we started rehearsals.

Chickyclassy Mee said...

Easy dey lie, jumped on your bed ke? Babe u can lie sha

Alexa said...

i think my most memorable was about 13 years ago, an incident happened that still makes me laugh up till today. whenever we are home for Christmas we always had visitors both family and friends and we are sure to get cash gifts from them when they were leaving. so that particular Christmas we heard about a member of our umunna that returned from the states and he was coming to visit, so you could imagine our excitement and how eager we were for him to come, we were even seeing $ signs. the d- day came and when he was leaving he was like come let me 'do' Christmas for you people, my brother went to him and he brought #10, yes naira not dollars and gave to my brother and he was like 'for you and your sisters', and he left. now, I have 6 siblings, we are six girls and one boy. when my brother showed us girls how muvh was given to us, we thought he was lying, we were so angry ehhhhhh. it pained one of my sister more than the rest of us, and she has always had little or no respect for authority, the next time the man came visiting, she made sure she was within earshot of the man and she was like, " Amara, what is #10 divided by 7" and my other sisters started laughing, our 'uncle' did not stay long after that and we didn't see him again, till we left the village back to our base. my mumsy punished her for that prank, but she served her punishment with a smile on her face.
original

Pearl said...

Hahahha
"bro DAPO "is d best joke so far
Very short yet funny
So am voting for Temilade("bro Dapo")

BettyO said...

My best Christmas should be that of 2011. I was a batch corp member, I was deployed to Adamawa State. After the 3 weeks of Orientation, I felt reluctant coming back to the south for the Christmas holiday because of the distance. But thank God I did because it was that period that I met the love of my life- My husband.

Christmas of 2011 was and remains the best Christmas ever!!?

Sister Jane said...

Lol

Lilly said...

I remember one Christmas that I did in school. We had finished our exams for that semester just two days to Christmas, some of us that came from long distance could not travel back home because of high transport fare and dangerous roads.
Myself and two other friends contributed money to buy one chicken and make Christmas stew to celebrate. We gave the money to one of us (Tola) to buy the chicken and other things.
On Christmas morning, we all were cooking in our room when we heard a hard knock. It was our landlady. She was shouting. She barged in and immediate went to our pot of chicken, opened it, turned it around, then she started screaming 'thief thief you stole my chicken'.
Other neighbours rushed in, they carried the pot outside and asked how she recognised her chicken. She emptied the pot in in tray and showed everyone a stain on one of the wings, she said she marked all her fowls with purple dye and she renewed it as they grew. She brought one live one and showed everyone the mark. We were shocked that Tola whom we gave money for chicken had stolen it instead. We tried explaining to the crowd what went down but they didn't believe us. They put the pot on Tola's head and were about matching us to the police station. It was a lecturer who came and rescued us on the road and covered up for us not to be reported to school authorities.

Valerian said...

Stella or pA I'm voting for this very story because my sister's son is got a similar attributes.very quick in complaining about his food or games just anything name it,camparing his to his brothers own.i'm showing my sis this,for her to try same punishment on him.

Sister Jane said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

shandy sleeks said...

Hmmm,my Christmas story!!.I remember when we were very young,my immediate elder sister and i would go out and people will be dashing us money. So one Christmas, there were three of us that went out that day,my sister, myself and our other sister from the same compound. It was around evening, we went to this woman's house from the neighbouring village. She hails from our compound and is married from the other Villa. So we got to her house and asked her to do Christmas for us (lol). Na so madam started walking up and down. We decided to sit down as per our own name. Madam will walk from her house down to the gate and last there for hours before coming back to her house again. So we decided to tell her that we are still waiting o in case she has forgotten,that was when she now asked us whether we will take #10 or eat rice because that was the only thing she had.
We talked to ourselves and decided to eat rice since we were three and we cannot share #10.We now told her to give us rice instead,madam continued with her waka till we left. We were so angry that this woman could treat us that way because of Christmas rice that we did not even eat in our houses. Shame catch us too that we went out to ask for rice. Since that day, we don't even greet her.

Sister Jane said...

What is #10 divided by 7. Lol. Too funny.

Mz Lynn said...

The Christmas holiday was one holiday that continuously gave me jitters; particularly because of the sound and smell of knockouts all over the place.
I was terrified of loud noises, and the pungent smell of the knockouts only made me cringe the more.

One Christmas eve, Dad sent me out to blend tomatoes and pepper ; as it was a big basket of tomatoes to be blended.
Unknown to me, that particular year, the trend was to fill knockouts in toy guns, and have a not-so-friendly "war", between houses on the street.

So that fateful night, as i headed out to blend my basket of tomatoes, the first sound i heard almost tore my heart apart.
I thought armed robbers had invaded the street. Knockouts were "shot" into neigbouring houses, with immediate return of the shots.

With each loud "Bang", i hastened my steps, nearly collapsing from my heart that was beating ever so loudly!
I eventually ran into a house, but to my dismay, it was a "losing" house. They didn't have enough "defenders", and soon enough other houses joined forces to bombard the house with knockouts.

By then, half of my tomatoes had spilled to the ground, and i had grazed my foot on the ground.
"How didn't i know such a thing was going on, on this street", i lamented bitterly. I had to summon courage to carry the rest of the tomatoes back home, because fear would'nt let me continue the trip.

I managed not to break down into tears. Only to get home to meet dad about to kill the live fowl in the bathroom.
"Aha, thank God you are back. Oya, come and hold down this chicken". He didn't even notice my face.

Did i mention i was also terrified of chickens??πŸ˜‚

Just as i stepped into the bathroom to feign assistance, dad stepped out to attend to something else, closing the door behind him, probably absentmindedly.

That was how, Chicken i thought was almost dead started flapping its wings, probably in a bid to escape.
Me and Chicken, trying to run, in one bathroom?? I didn't realise when i let out a Thunderous "Jesus!!!" I was running all over the place, trying to escape myself.

Everyone rushed to the bathroom. I couldn't take it anymore. The events of the night was too much for me to handle.
I broke down into serious tears, leaving everyone wondering what was really wrong.

The experience made me a little unenthusiastic as a child, over the Christmas celebrations. Making me shy away from running errands and getting fully involved in the preparations.

Anonymous said...

Didn't you read the instructions? They said no abbreviations. You just spoilt your gist with childish abbreviations and wrong punctuation. What is dat, Jes, diz, dis, u? Msthweeew

Anonymous said...

I vote for brother Dapo's Joke. Lolz Santa clause indeed.

Anonymous said...

Lmao

Anonymous said...

I vote for bro Dapo

Iphie dearie said...

Arim mma daa!!!😁

Pluto said...

Lols. Kids be causing fights among parents since 19kporokom

Iphie dearie said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
This is funny!

Iphie dearie said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Afo nri!!!
Nice one😁

Iphie dearie said...

Oh dear!! Thank God the rice wasn't wasted.

Martins, Some people put salt in their rice. Never used to do that at home.. But got married and had to learn😁

Iphie dearie said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
They said no abbreviations poster, this is how you people miss out.

Funny all the same.

Lady Port (The Portress) said...

I can relate to this. I vote you

Iphie dearie said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ You lost one shoe????

Sally jayd said...

Hilarious 🀣

Praise said...

And you ate sand after all your butty forming
Hahahahaha

Sally jayd said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚@chickyclassy

Anonymous said...

You made me laugh...you got my vote

Kathy said...

You are entitled to your opinion missy. Ebi e ko

Sally jayd said...

Uncle aka gum. πŸ˜‚

Sally jayd said...

Poor woman must have been broke.

becky naka said...

Lol

Fresh Petals said...

The winner has been credited? Oh dear. And I am here watching over my phone to see alert of 5k since I saw on SP that alerts will enter today. Well, my own turn will come someday.
I'm not emotionally stable to think of a Christmas story right now. Hmmmmm

becky naka said...

Hahahaahaha

Honey said...

Lmao hilarious gist

black beauty said...

Voting for Temilade too

Sally jayd said...

Awww quite touchy , I thought I was the one that is scared of Chicken. I can’t kill or hold a chickens while it’s being killed.

Iphie dearie said...

Hahahahahaha
What a crazy night you had!
Those knockouts give me the chills!!! Arrgggghhhhh😑
I just want to be in the confines of my home while they shoot their hearts out.
Nice!

Temilade said...

A beg Stella and blog PA temper justice with Mercy. I didn't read through the instruction well before typing. My baby didn't allow me concentrate well. Na beg I dey beg o, God bless and thank you for understanding

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

Hahahha...
I can relate...
With our short permed,black abi white gel hair...
Smh...

Iphie dearie said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
I remember “Uncle gbaaram christmas”

e-style said...

loll. I remember bein scared of knockouts too.
I vote for you.

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

Hahahahahaha..

Iphie dearie said...

Kikikikiki!!!
This must be the funniest shit I have read tonite.
Lmao!!!!!!
Tola issa thief!!!πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£

Falcon said...


My department kept postponing our exams, it was so bad that other department have finished their exams and travelled, school was deserted. When we finally finished, I called home, begging to help me take my properties home, they were plenty. My parents refused, they were busy, and I had to travel to another town to get a bus to Enugu, because my school is located in a remote area and most transport companies around have left the town for the 'season'. I finally got to Onitsha south park, after the whole drama with the drivers, and park attendant, I ended up spending out of my shopping money for the luggage fee, the thing pain me'.
After I came back, I went to my tailor for my clothes, another wahala, she hasn't finished my clothes, in fact she used another lining, totally different from our agreement, I had no other choice but to get a matching shoe, that is if I wanted to slay.
I entered ogbete market,Mehn, it was so busy. I saw the shoe I liked but it was now so costly. The seller agreed to let me exchange the other shoe that I bought before. I went home brought out the shoe only to discover that it was of different size, I took it to him, he refused to take it back, in fact he didn't remember selling the shoe to me. I didn't blame him, because I purchased it months back.

At that moment I knew my village people wanted to kill my joy.
I roamed the whole market, looking for any shoe with the colour I wanted. Almost giving up, a man saw me, asked what I was looking for, because he noticed I have been moving around, I told him. He smiled and said that it was not a problem that his brother import all kinds of shoe. That was how I ended up buying this shoe, it was nice, but not what I had in mind, and also cheap.

So shoe √( check)

On 1st January, we went to church, everyone was looking good, my hair was on point, my clothe too, people took pictures of me to show their tailor, truly the lord is good.
All eyes were on me I was feeling so fly, my mom was just smiling, "that's my girl".
And it was family Thanksgiving, the whole church was full, with children, grandchildren, visitors , was sort of a carnival.
Even the cars packed outside will show that truly big men came to church.

First offering came, I danced to the althar, second offering,third offering. The fourth time, something in me told me to relax, I have even exhausted my money but I had to get from someone. As usual I danced to the althar, at the middle of the church, the sole of my shoe broke " what the *ell'.
All attention was on me,I just stood there, people were saying sorry, I don't know if I should walk back or continue to the altar, as I took another step, the other shoe also broke, the strap gave way. I know people were now watching


I sat down at the nearest vacant seat, few seconds later, someone tapped me that it was their seat. Jesu!!
And offering was almost over "say what". With one bare feet, one shoe in my hand, I ran outside, most people that were praising me no even look my side, I heard soft giggling, one over sabi even said " pride goes before a fall"
" Aba shoe"
" Nne I get gum oh" there was nothing I didn't hear.
Next thing I know, I was at home, comforting myself, after all my dress was good.

Please vote for my gist, I tried oh, thanks

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

Hahahahahaha

Iphie dearie said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£
Another one!!!
All those Jand/Yankee uncles were aka gum😩😩😩

Fresh Petals said...

Wow nice story

SOG said...

My most memorable Christmas should be when i was way younger. Before the festive period in the barracks, all police children will be warned never to use or be seen with fireworks, but that one na their own, i and my crew no send. That Christmas evening the war had started already, barrack boys vs the next street. We had make shift shields, weapon store house and proper battle plans( banger war was very serious). We divided ourselves into groups. I was among the 'generals' nd our main duty to go from house to house greeting families and they in turn will give us food, water, juice nd money, mostly 20 naira nd fifty naira (Those that lived in the barracks will understand). The money is used to fund our war nd get more 'bangers' nd wen we get tired food nd drinks yepa full ground. There is this fat nd red knockout called 'bomb', it is powerful nd very loud. We couldn't afford that one nd every child was afraid of it as it very hard to put out nd dangerous, but our rival street had this americana boy that could afford this knockout. My elder brother was going to rent a movie for our guest wen this people launched the much dreaded 'bomb', he didn't know much about bangers so na only him get mind to go kick the thing back to sender but it mistakenly entered iya calabar canteen. Immediately we saw this, na so all of us tear race like mad people. Some people face west, some people face east, me i face sokoto. Iya calabar wicked no b small na the reason y all man run like that. I ran to sura market and stayed der till nightfall. As i dey stoll enter house thinking everything must have died down, na so my mama hand me over to armed police officers. They told me that i have killed someone nd i am heading to jail. I was still trying to process this when i saw all members of my crew handcuffed, crying and sitting on the floor .The full barrack gather us, parents, uncles nd aunties dey put fire that we should b lockedup( we were very little then). They gave us fake papers to write our names that we will b taken from our parents nd sent to abuja prison if we ever played with knockout again. I later found out that the baba that was eating in the canteen fainted after the explosion nd had to rushed to the hospital hence the whole drama of handcuff nd prison threat. Choi, the good old days.

Iphie dearie said...

Oh my goodness!!
I can relate.. this was usually before 25th though, before we travel home.
This used to be fun but if you are unfortunate and my Daddy knows??? JesuuuuπŸ™†πŸ½‍♂️πŸ™†πŸ½‍♂️πŸ™†πŸ½‍♂️πŸ™†πŸ½‍♂️ Your life is finished!
I can’t even remember the traditional songs we sang, I know I had so much fun though.

Iphie dearie said...

That one is a die hard chicken.

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

Hahahahahahahahahaha...
Lmao at tissue inside a shoe...
OMG!..
We used to do it then...
Chai!..memories

Iphie dearie said...

I’m happy for you.. I wonder how those fresh christmas trees they cut down will feel like.

I love christmas trees so much. Enjoy

Iphie dearie said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Fighters!!
The strategy those kids used is evidence of their ‘pakorism’

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

Hahahahahaha...
Feeding someone with sand while fighting then is the Koko!...

Mykestein said...

Lovely style of writing.
I vote this one.

ANIFOWOSE said...

I vote for Temilade' joke
Very funny,
And I understand some pple are actually used to abbreviation wen typing fast.
Pls stella just over look it.

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

Spending Christmas in abroad is the worst thing that can happen to anybody especially if you are an extrovert!..
With the freezing weather,you guys will be fucking 247!....
Twin babies fall on you!...

Vivchy said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚u have my vote

Ogu Chinonso said...

Alexa's story cracked me up. very stingy somebody

SheriKoko said...

In my primary school those days during our xmas party...they use to tell us that santa Claus was coming all the way from America. When it's time, the proprietor then would enter his car drive to the centre of school where we were all dressed in our party dresses and announce he was about leaving for the airport. The joy I felt at those moments knew no bounds... few mins later he would drive back in with d "american" santa behind in his volvo and then sound d engine of the vehicle voouummm!!! Voouum! Voouummm!!! and horn to announce their arrival. The excitement was outta ds worldπŸ˜„...we would all then line up on the school long corridor and sing Christmas songs we were taught for our America santa and den he would join and sing along with his "American accent" and shout HoHoHo!!! Such a delight.😊 Then he would take a seat in a small room decorated with xmas stuff n hand out gifts from America to us(usually plastic cups n plates). Then at the end of d party d proprietor would announce it was time to take santa back to the airport. In my primary 3 or 4... One thing I noticed tho was that d next day after our party Mr Okolo d pri 5 teacher was wearing the exact brown kapusi shoe santa wore d previous day😞... hmmm could it be that...?? Naah..but santa has gone back to America and I still won't eat with the American plate he gave me so it doesn't get dirty... Am sure it was a coincidenceπŸ˜…πŸ˜…

Anonymous said...

Lol, I vote for you, hope anons are valid, no Id yet.

Anonymous said...

After you’ve spent 10 Christmases with new Hubby, come back and tell us about your marriage.

Sassy D said...

Last minute shopping can be frustrating, u have my vote

Anonymous said...

Lol, I vote for you

Chickyclassy Mee said...

Are u sure you are not someone I know? Lol, same as my cousin she just got married and recently went to be with her hubby there in the America,you are are my cousin okwa o.lol, iri kpole anon?

obianuju augustina said...

congratulations!

Florence said...

Hahahahhahaha pride indeed goes before a fall. I vote

obianuju augustina said...

I vote for bro dapo.very funny lol!

obianuju augustina said...

Hahahahaha very funny!

charity said...

Lmao

charity said...

Rotfl. You have my vote

charity said...

If not that I've experienced this it might be hard to believe your story. Some act like they are humans that turned to chicken.

charity said...

Chineke! I see myself in your sister. You have my vote. Lmao

charity said...

Awwwwww.

charity said...

Wow. This is hilarious now but horrible imagining it. Next time biko go home.

charity said...

Hahahaha. Your village people had you in their palms.

becky naka said...

Hahahahaa

Gracious said...

You are right Queen and boss
You will throw the person on the ground first and then sit on him and feed him sand. Hahahhaha. Funny story

becky naka said...

Lol...it took me a while before I realised mr Christian our maths teacher was santa.

Anna said...

Hahahah.youv got my vote!!

Sally jayd said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ very funny

La bebe said...

Lol.. I remember fighting with a village girl in the stream too when I was on holiday . She beat me and throw me inside the water

Sally jayd said...
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Anonymous said...

Anon 18:11 yes I will come back with my grown kids,twins and tell u,bitter soul.thanks Iphie dearie, Linda you know lol,Hubby, s brother and few family members are coming to spend xmas with us in our house, well let me see the difference between here and Nigeria. CHICKY,you are funny

Mhiz A... said...

U have my vote SOG.
I live close to a police barracks and I understand the inter street "wars"

Cutiebee said...

Two mothers fighting because of children is very common in my compound here. You will see them clapping on each other. The following day they will be keeping malice but the children who cause the fight will be playing together hehehehe.
I would have posted a Christmas story but I know they will not vote for me.

Missylyn said...

Lol

Missylyn said...

Beloved baby. Hope this my blog ID is valid?

blessed said...

That fight should have been tagged "village vs Lagos."
See me laughing here like mumu..

Iphie dearie said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Human beings.. They suddenly turned from admirers to mockers😩😩😩😩
Nice nice

Iphie dearie said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Iya calabar.
Menn we have nice gists this evening.. This is a tough one.

Eka Joy said...

Please I take God beg u a, help me vote for this joke. This one even made me embarrass myself inside taxi.

When I got to the part that she sat down on the nearest vacant seat and then someone came and tapped her cos it was hers. OMG!!! I just burst into one kain laughter wey I no understand. I carry my phone say make I vote. 1% wey I dey manage that time finish, carry my other phone, that one bin Don die for my bag before.

Went over the story again in my head wen I no see phone press again.

Immediately, I got to that same place, another burst of laughter.

Nne, Abeg u have my vote

Iphie dearie said...

πŸ™†πŸ½‍♂️πŸ™†πŸ½‍♂️πŸ™†πŸ½‍♂️πŸ™†πŸ½‍♂️πŸ™†πŸ½‍♂️
Santa was Mr Okolo oooh!! Eleyi gi di gan oohπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

La bebe said...

Cutiebee you say wetin? Why did you conclude we hate you here? What did you do? Kwakwakwkwa

Acube said...

I vote this one

Mrs Sarah said...
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City Set On A Hill said...

Lol
You have my vote

Yimu said...

@all the contestants, hope you people will not cause problems here by voting till the next day like you did the other day. The rate at which you people are going is alarming. #allfor20k #hardcountry

Sally jayd said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚Lies adults tell. My oldest is 8 yrs old and still believe in Santa πŸŽ…l.Mr Okolo A k A America Santa.

Anonymous said...

kwakwakwa. mz lynn, i can totally relate to the street knockout fight. i vote you biko

Anonymous said...

Our family friend did this to me. Worked like magic.

Djulez said...

OK I enjoyed this one. I vote this one

mcanthony somadina said...

This piece reminds me of last December.. Hope it doesn't repeat again.
And l really love this. I really do.

mcanthony somadina said...

This piece reminds me of last December.. Hope it doesn't repeat again.
And l really love this. I really do.

mcanthony somadina said...

This piece is a good one.. Reminding me of another escapade this month with chickens especially.
I voye this one.

Anonymous said...

Lmao. This brought back a lot of memories. I pick you for now

Wisdom said...
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President D'Royalty (Stella's Original Blog Bff) said...

Cutiebee don enter here. What is your problem gaan? Me Wey dem dey cuss all the time sef, I no think low of myself here or anywhere else.

Erm, Erm, La basin abi wetin be that your mumu name, I don save that your comment under me for IHn the last time, the day wen I go descend on you here, he go be you like dream.

Wizzy said...

Loooll. Nice piece. I vote this

Wisdom said...
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Lady STAINLESS said...

OhmyGod... this is so funny.

You have my vote.

Hope votes are still valid Sha.

Saint Jeanne said...

I vote for you

Mz Iphay said...
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the fair one said...

Bwahahahahahaha I vote this one

Darl Judson said...

I vote you Mz Lynn

Sista Jane said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. So funny

Karashika said...

I love this, hilarious piece, that reminds me, lemme call my tailor.

Ostrich said...

Hahahahahaha funny story
I know this kind of fight

Chioma said...

Hahaha, u got my vote.
I miss 042 Ogbete......ahia mgbede

Anonymous said...

Have been busy, going through today's post. This your gist sweet sha, but make I ask o, at ur age, u come dey wait for person wey go carry you. Sha i vote for u

Medussa said...

Lols

Debra said...

U for collect come, join ur aba shoe. Ikwakwakwakwakwa

Claire said...

I vote your story Mrs gee

Teddy said...

B like say I know this person lol

Heiress Fitables said...

I give you 100% for this story. I can relate

Beatle said...

Buhahahahhahahahhahaha
Double laughter here. Funny story and funny comment from cutiebee. Post a gist next time, I will vote for you cutie. Weldone Mrs Gee

Precious gift said...

Village kids showed you how they also roll in the village..kikikik. There own parole is badder than yours

Precious gift said...

*their

Benny Amadi said...

You have my vote, I'm laughing so hard my tummy hurts. 10naira divided by 7.

Benny Amadi said...

I vote for you, very funny gist,my husband thinks I've gone gaga this night, laff wan finish me here.

BLOGLORD (MVBM) said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
This is hilarious

Anonymous said...

Ohk. this is Hilarious...i like this one oh. hope anons are valid. one vote!

miss Aboki the great said...

This cutiebee is very anoyying. Did you post any story and no one voted for you? abwg gerrarahia mhen...

Jist posters make una easy with the plastic id votes mbok. it's too abvious

treasure BB said...

I vote U

Anonymous said...

Lol

treasure BB said...

Chai... Lmfaooooo

treasure BB said...

Nice and funny stories. Congratulations to the "soon to be winner "

Otuka said...

Very funny. I want dis and vote o

Otuka said...

I vote mz Lynn o. Funny smthn loll

Otuka said...

I vote mz Lynn ooo. Abeg no ojoro D's time

aunthenticbaby said...

This so much cracked me up,so so funny.please I vote for you jor,food matter.

Anonymous said...

Plastic id kwa. why re you always talking nonsensE. Pple will vote and u will come here nd rubbish it. Not nice biko. Wat dd you write

Anonymous said...

i have something to say oh. Plesse lets stop being partial and giving this thing based on popularity. U laid down rules...follow the rules. Person with the highest valid votes. Dnt carry it nd go nd give the win to smone dhts popular. Sit dwn and count the votes biko. Me iv started counting them...no ojoro this time. Stop discouraging people biko!!!

Peace said...
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Sir p said...
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Emerald said...
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Sugar said...
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Mhiz Rosey said...
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Asanwa said...

Something similar happened to me, buy My God pass Devil. Hahaha, nice story

Mama Ghee said...
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Merry Mum said...
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Princess of Sdk said...

A wonderful gist, well detailed and funny too, my vote fall on you

Chiby Kris said...

I vote for you
See me laughing like a md woman

Petals and pearls said...

You have my vote Falcon

Meena said...

Missed this post yesterday. No light.
I vote you, Very funny
Beloved our blog PA. Biko Let today's votes still be valid oh. Lols

Lady Blessing said...

I won't leave without voting for you, if na me. I will insist on staying on that seat o, maybe your village people sent the person that told u to get up from the seat. Looooool. I vote o

Cassandra Carter said...

lol!

Cassandra Carter said...

this one has my vote! very funny!

Chikwendu Prosper said...

Hahahah. I didn't see this one on time oh. I drop my vote

Florence Daniella said...

I vote for you

Anonymous said...

I vote for this one

Anonymous said...

I vote for you

Florence Daniella said...

I vote for you

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