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Tuesday, February 06, 2018

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmm....




STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ABUSIVE AND INSULTING HORSEBAND


Thanks Stella for this platform.i am really going through some hurt.my hubby is everything I need in a man.transparent.kind,faithful.not a smoker or a drinker of alcohol.he has his own flaws too but one thing that really hurts me and getting me tired is the fact he always hit me anytime we have a little argument.

I wish i have the strength of a man.if he hits me i hit back and he will think twice again

So many times i have lost count.he just did it again.and when he does he doesn't know how hurt i really feel cos I have been there for him Stella i have been there through thick and thin and even when we settle he doesn't know the scar and pain i feel
Today he will say he will change.tomorrow he will say its my fault.imagine!

little arguments .he is very insulting.


I came home tired and late due to Edo state trekking everyday and i am heavy.he was home all through.just now our daughter was crying and i asked him to carry her, he kept me quiet.i said it thrice while i was making her food.

I got angry and said ''you have been fond of this.i will be speaking to you and you will just be engrossed in phone'' have talked to him several times about this.then the insult started.am stupid,bla bla.i told him am not stupid and a slap on the centre of my face.i feel tired.so many abuse i have endured.I am just tired, I am tired.i have been there for him .

2018 again and the abuse started on the 4th of January again,I am not a slave..I am really tired and don't know if it will ever stop.




*God knows how much i hate DV with a passion.....

You said this man is everything you need in a man?Oh dear God of heaven and earth!!!
Has it not occurred to you that you might be encouraging what he is doing?
I have learned my lesson and try not to say anything in cases like this cos you sound like you aint going anywhere whilst you complain so bitterly.
In your mind you know what to do,you are just looking for someone to tell it to you..My dear sister,advice yourself.....YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!


89 comments:

  1. Endure *side eyes*. If you can't endure, walk out of the marriage *side eyes*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster how about reporting him to his parents and church for a start.
      Leave shame aside and report him to whomever you feel can talk sense into him.

      Then if you can take some time off.Since you are pregnant go and stay the remaining months of your pregnancy with your parents so that you don't endanger your unborn baby.

      Plus try as much as you can not to talk back at him when he is in his crazy mood.

      Above all stop bottling it all inside,tell him how you feel and how unhappy he makes you feel.

      Lastly start saving because you might have to change environment permanently soon if he doesn't stop hitting you.
      No woman or child should stay in an abusive home...you deserve to be treated with respect and not to be beaten by a man who ought to be protecting you.

      Stay safe and like stella said you know what to do.


      LEP😛

      Delete
    2. Poster I will not be the one to advise you to walk away,cos you know what to do,how can he be beating you in your condition,poster if he beats you again gather courage,muscle together with anger and beat the day light out of him,or break his head with your mortar.trust me he will never lay his hands on you again.remember to thank me later.some man sha.shake big bum bum and🚶away

      Delete
    3. @dramaqueen indeed. "Break his head?"

      You're advising her to kill/maim the husband. U r really sick.

      Delete
    4. After advising her to break his head they will still be the ones to judge her if she mistakenly kills him.

      Delete
  2. Na wah oh!
    Lemme jump and pass
    Husband and wife matter? I no dey put mouth. You shall be fine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank God I'm a single mother, living my life in peace with my children. Making money, traveling the world and not having to answer to anybody but my God. I enjoy male attention and wooing. If any man tries to be dominating, i just show him the door. I wasn't even beating in secondary school, I can't imagine one stupid man beating me up in the name of marriage. Tueh 😤😤

      Delete
  3. You people should not bother advising this poster...
    She is enjoying the beating!...
    Someone once told me she enjoys her man beating her up!...
    Nne enjoy your eating inugo!...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "enjoy her eating?"
      It's like the "fat frogs" you've been eating has corroded your brain.
      He is BEATING her because, the "pigeon nacked" has expired and she
      is at the receiving end.
      Are you running away from advising your disciple?

      Delete
    2. The sorrows of them will multiply that seek after other gods (Psalm 16:4)

      Delete
    3. Aunty abortion of sdk blog!...
      Hafar nah?...
      I will soon knack correct white pigeon on your head so you leave my name out of your mouth!...
      Hahahahahahahaha

      Delete
    4. Who be aunty abortion?
      I be like say your invisible trackers have overwhelmed you!

      Delete
  4. You want to hear 'park out'?
    Lol, you won't hear it from me, enjoy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madam poster don't you think there is a way you talk to him that might make him feel less of himself?
      Change the way you approach him. From your tune, you sound like an authoritative woman. Bring down your tune and approach him with respect. He is your husband not your maid abi?
      A little "please" will go a long way..

      I won't be surprise maybe you enjoy the beating so continue talking to him any how.

      Delete
  5. Abeg bear the beating because of your kids and to safe your marriage.
    You will be alright.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Madam it is well. When you know he is like this, you avoid him totally.

    It seems you shouted at him but i am not condoning what he did to you. Next time, get the might to slap him back. dont look like he is too big for you. Get the will to fight him back. It is well again ooo.

    Your horseband needs help and the situation is worsened by this administration.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A pregnant woman should gather might and slap back ?

      Chaiiiii

      Delete
  7. God please a man that will ever raise his hands on me is not my portion. Despite the fact that you're pregnant??

    Madam, it's high time you change it for him, defend yourself, surprise him when next he slap you, return yours with immediate effect with 2 hot slaps, he will be so shocked and confused, honestly that will reset his brain.

    But after this and he continue to beat you, arrange for the males in your house to teach him some lessons. I hate men that beat their wives, and worst of it, a pregnant woman for that matter




    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She is pregnant. You can't tell what the beast is capable of. Don't retaliate. Stop talking back at him at least until you safely deliver then you can know what step to take.

      Delete
  8. Was he this way during courtship or there was none?
    Most girls these days marry once the man ask them for or they tie him with pregnancy; was that your case?
    From what you wrote up there, you run your mouth like tap and expect peace?
    Your husband has a problem with the flesh and he should learn to discipline his flesh to achieve self control.

    To hit a pregnant woman is the height of weakness of a man.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Why not just go back to ur parent house 1st to put to bed..u are pregnant, pls u don't need all the stress because of high BP...
    If u don't stop him...he won't stop.
    U have to learn to defend urself,if u don't want to leave him.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Stella, thanks so much for your advice.

    I have been married for 7 years and to the glory of God I havent hit my wife. I hate DV like mad. But then I had a friend who would always beat the wife and I always wondered what happened until the day I witnessed it.

    Stella the wife RUDE die, like die die die die die, before the man talk one, she already said 10. And she kept going on and on and on enraging the guy. The guy said , see what I told you. If you were not here tell me why I wont charge at her.

    Point is: Women dont be stupid, the first question is , is he violent? can you beat him? If he is violent and you cant beat him, learn to keep quiet when he talks in anger. The truth is I get angry too but i noticed my wife NEVER raises her voice in my period of anger, which makes me feel guilty and apologise.

    The next question is , if I was married to the guy's wife, would i have been a violator? May be , because those insults were from the pit of hell.

    So madam like stella has said, it is easy to cry wolf and scream I m suffering DV...how are you triggering it?????

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can you please tell us those things the man's wife said in the heat of it?

      Delete
    2. The problem is most of you have a warped way of reasoning, pathetic lots!!

      What can a pregnant woman who is also nursing a child possibly say that will make a sane man hit her? Will his dick disappear or become shorter if he ignores her ?

      Meanwhile most of you men beaters are weaklings and will act like you want to die if you have a mere headache or stomach upset. Most of you don't react when your mothers, female bosses, danfo drivers and agbero insult you but when it is your wife, all hell is let loose.

      Do you know sometimes pregnancy makes you so uncomfortable that you are just grouchy and miserable.

      As for your lily livered friend punching his rude wife everyday, is his destiny tied to her? how has beating her solved the problem? If she is rude and provoking him, can he not separate from her first to see if that will reset her brain instead of wrestling her to the ground like a ninny??

      I can't for the life of me think or imagine my husband hitting me. In the first 2 years of our marriage we argued and it was rough. Now we understand ourselves better!! It is 7 years.

      Life is hard already so I can't tolerate anyone beating me like child. The fact that we are married doesn't give you the right to touch me.

      @ poster you need help, you need self love,you need deliverance from yourself, how is he everything you want in a man? Infact shift, your low self esteem stinks!!

      Delete
    3. This is the best comment I've read on this blog.

      Delete
    4. Some women can really bring out the demons in men and dare you to the last and even fight you both with weapons even when you are not ready to even argue with them. But we all have the option of walking out of such relationships, bearing in mind we can't change anybody who is not ready to change.

      Also some wife beaters can also beat you for ignoring and keeping quiet in the heat of arguement. They are like "Iya Tinuke, oh i am talking to you and you are keeping quiet" then come the rain of slaps.

      Delete
    5. thank u annon.the woman is clearly stressed and overwhelmed with the responsibility of looking after a baby, the house + pregnanc wahala.The yeye horseband instead of helping is pressing phone, i am sure he is chatting with his girlfriends.
      who even beats a pregnant woman? what if something happens to her?

      Delete
  11. Poster na everything wey you want in a man true true including the beating abi...yeye dey smell.....

    ReplyDelete
  12. Your horseband said you're stupid and you told him you are not and a slap followed? He would have killed me if am living with him.

    Nwanyi oma, di gi bu horseband

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lols...I swear
      Me..I will tell him husband of a stupid woman is even more stupid to have married one😂😂

      Delete
    2. Lol, I can advice you either o, Cus me my mouth alone is a sword, my hubby has Kuku learnt how to handle me, just be keeping quite, even me I am trying to learn... but bearing you while preggis and in front of your kids is bad, please go home until you have that child, then when he slaps you, you hire boys to beat him

      Delete
  13. You told us what he does; hit you.
    But you may not have told us what you did when you saw "a man that has everything you wanted in a husband"
    Did you go somewhere to "tie him" or "nak pigeon?"
    Anything tied gets untied and anything "naked gets expiration date"

    ReplyDelete
  14. pigeon knacking don expire!
    This is the practical of q&b pigeon knacking chants on this blog!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. so any DV case is as a result of pigeon knacking gone wrong?

      Delete
    2. @Erased Ink
      Yes, you no fit "erase" this one
      For the sorrows of them will multiply that seek after other gods. Psalm 16:4

      Delete
  15. What are you expecting us to tell you? To leave him ba before you leave. ok stay there and be saying he is all you want in a man until he kills you. A man that hits a girl even while pregnant is all you want in a man. continue...

    ReplyDelete
  16. Poster the truth is your husband would not stop abusing you. You should report him to your pastor or someone he respect.If that does not work, safe earnestly and leave him. Try to get sister Olu bunmi Ajai Loyodes book leaving to live or download the movie big little lies it will help you understand who your husband is and the urgency to run away from him.
    P.S:don't fight back just safe quently and leave him.
    B.V Brown baby.

    ReplyDelete
  17. If he hits you, then its definitely worse than other "shortcomings & blemish" you listed up there... It'd keep reoccuring & progressively get worse, till hes faced with a much bigger ultimatum from your end, then & only then will he weigh the detriments to the act... you need to find a leverage in that marriage & use it, you should know better, since hes ur husband... or he'd soon proceed to using his belt.
    The only form of DV i can encourage is ass spanking during sex, lol

    #Sickmind

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I actually think this woman needs to hit the man back, just one time.

      And all will be fair and square.

      Delete
    2. @ Bipolar.
      Bad idea! such retaliatory act will challenge his masculinity, and he'd react like he would to his fellow abled man, punches will follow, most likely.

      Delete
  18. Next time he hits you, carry your small pestle and hit him at the back of his head, I repeat back of his head, he will pass out. When he come through he will think twice about hitting you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leaving the house in peace and hitting him at the back of his head like you proposed, which is better? This your advice get k-leg abeg

      Delete
    2. thanku very mch.. the man go kpai for her hand then story go change

      Delete
    3. And how does she control the extent of the injury?
      When the man dies, the woman will be on death row and
      the kids will be orphan begging you for small change on the streets?

      Wicked advisers sending a woman to commit murder instead of walking away.

      Delete
    4. You are telling her to do the exact same thing she is accusing the man of doing?
      And if the man dies, no one will want to know if he hit her first.

      Delete
    5. Poster plz disregard this advice. What if he dies?
      Don't hit him at the back of his head ooh.

      Delete
  19. Engage a bv idea how she planned with some people and it was a. Woman that led the show.. Let her give him plenty slaps and she should ask u if ur husband beats u... Lol try to cover him by saying if he beats me is not ur biz... Lol let the lady para and beat him more.
    Telling him if he touches you then he is dead. Dv is painful most of us see it b4 going into the marriage. He should be a drinker or a smoker or an atheist but he shouldn't hit his woman or any woman. And he should love his family more than anything.. That should be prayer points or criteria of yet to be married ladies.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Welcome to my world. Minus the constant hitting, mine would insult me, even add my parents join. He's from a violent home and I really can't blame him. The signs were glaring before we got married, I actually ended our relationship about thrice before we got married but the only difference then was he was always so quick to apologise and he wasn't this violent, he just used to flare up unnecessarily. Stupid me believed him and we got married. 6 years down the line and I've had it, I'm getting a divorce. Is it easy? No. But I choose my sanity and raising my child in peace anyday. I don't love him one bit anymore.
    Wish I could go back in time to listen to my gut feeling about him and his dysfunctional family but what's done is done.
    I choose happiness and I choose life

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Make sure you plan your exit very well, endure and save money..

      Delete
    2. It's your cross, carry it on your head. You saw it coming and you walked into it with your two naked eyes.

      Delete
    3. Don, Please do not curse or insult me. "6 years down the line and I've had it, I'm getting a divorce. Is it easy? No. But I choose my sanity and raising my child in peace anyday. I don't love him one bit anymore"
      If you patiently read through, you'd see that I made a mistake which I've owned up to and I'm taking steps to walk out, we are even separated at this point and you honestly have no idea what I've been through. Didn't ask for your pity neither do I need your insults

      Delete
  21. If he's everything you need in a man, then why are you complaining? That means you also need a wife beater na. Open your eyes madam before he panel beat your guardian angel out of your life.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Madam please define kind make I hear. Nawa for this yo kind horseband wey dey beat u any how...

    ReplyDelete
  23. No Comment, Aint Married Yet Though, I Am New Here,

    ReplyDelete
  24. A man that hits you has absolutely nothing to offer you. Wake up before its too late.
    Where do y'all meet this kind of men abeg?.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Woman, go and read about Narcissistic personality disorder, that man doesn't love you, you are just his supply, you better leave him cos he can't change or maybe you would be dead by the time the holyspirit changes him,cos that is the only thing that can change him.Read up about abuse ie emotional abuse, so as to draw up strength to leave.I hope you don't regret staying from the grave.inbtwn, if you are raising children in that environment you are training them to grow up exactly like the monster your husband is or to become a supply and low esteem woman or man like you who would tolerate or even feel that they deserve abuse.I'm a survivor so I know what I'm saying , tho I was not married to my abuser,

    ReplyDelete
  26. Report him to your inlays and pastors or anyone he respects and if he continues, seprate for a while.

    ReplyDelete
  27. It's sad to hear about men beating their wives.
    Hmm... the way she sounds,I copy Madam Stella. I have a friend who beats his wife but I didn't know until recently when the wife told me and I almost interfered by wanting to recommend a NGO where she could go. Guess what? When I saw her few days ago and asked if there has been any improvement, she said it was an attack from village people that they want to send her packing.
    Hmm... within me I said thank God I didn't interfere.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Imagine the stupid response from a low self esteemed woman.. Thank your star you didn't advice her, you would have become enemy number one by now..

      They are always comfortable with their abusive husband.

      Delete
  28. Though I'm not yet married, yet I don't fathom why men beat up their wives.I hope not to lay my hands on that girl. Why?! What about peaceful dialogue?!

    They said "a drop of honey is sweeter than a gallon of gall". The beating and abuse would not get anything done, men and women who indulge in this terrible act.

    Poster, the mentality that in as much as a man does not drink, smoke or cheat is a good man even when he abuses does not deserve any compliment. Because, sometimes a habit is easily controlled than an abuser.

    I advise you explain it to one or two of his elderly statesmen or his family members and see how it's gonna be.

    ReplyDelete
  29. A man that beat you is all you want in a man.keep enjoying your marriage for better for worse .

    ReplyDelete
  30. Poster like you said
    "your man is all you need in a man" including the beating.

    So, enjoy the beat.

    ReplyDelete
  31. @anonymous 15:12 i wish there's a like button on this blog for me to like your comment.

    Women stop pushing a man to that point of raising his hand on you. Just know when you have said enough and shut up.

    I am not in support of domestic violence neither am i justifying such.

    |I am a woman, been married for years, had disagreements with hubby on some occasions(he has never raised his finger to hit me), but when i know that the argument between us is getting too heated , i shut up!

    @ poster, say the truth, is is just "am not stupid u responded that led to the slap? be honest.

    ReplyDelete
  32. madam watch your tongue, please !!!!

    ReplyDelete
  33. My dear you know what to do. I dont support DV! What if you lose your baby or your life while he's at it?? Pls a word is enough for the wise

    ReplyDelete
  34. Since your hustle is everything you need in a man, the try to understand what he does not look for peace to rain in your home

    ReplyDelete
  35. And then someone who has never been touched is already giving serious warning,I wonder what happens to someone who has been beaten generally and he's the best thing that has ever happen to her.
    My dear report him to someone he's very answerable to

    ReplyDelete
  36. A violent man is a violent man. Even with my mouth that runs like a broken tap, my husband has never hit me. Sometimes, when I look back and recall what I said to my husband, I recoil. Even in all, he has never raised his hand on me. Sometimes, i even throw myself in front of him, beat me today heeeee beat me today, lai lai, the guy will just shift to one corner. Later on, he will still turn around and say sorry. Very nice guy my husband is, dark, tall, handsome, intelligent, doctor and God fearing. My prayer is for me to change, i'm a good person but my temperament is something else.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless you jare. I wish I could turn back the hands of time. I'm starting to hate my husband. Very abusive and shameless

      Delete
  37. Na wa o, poster is not domestic violence? Are you sure you aren't the one in love with yourself and calling this love? Or does it turn you on?

    ReplyDelete
  38. Poster, I apologize on behalf of your husband, sorry for the pain this behaviour of his has caused you. It's a sickening behaviour. Am a married man, I have never and will never raise(d) a finger on my wife. This is not because she doesn't provoke me, she does most of the times like talking to me in the most disrespectful way even without realizing it. Sometimes when we quarrel, she feels it's beneath her pride to pass me my food until much later, when she gets over it, after about seven days. Well, I no send, I simply just help myself, I hope to keep a clean marital record. It's a decision I've made, though I feel very hurt sometimes.
    I'm loving her, inspite of her excesses and indirectly teaching her to respect me inspite of my own failures. This is the problem with many homes. Some of you women have this entitlement mentality that has no consideration at all for the men. You do not think he deserves your utmost respect when you talk to him to help clean the room, wash or carry the baby. There's a way you talk to a man and he will be your willing slave. On your part, go the extra mile to respect him, even when he misbehaves, on our part, husbands, let's learn to accommodate these masterpieces of God's creation and love them still, even when they misbehave too. They always will. Once again, sorry for his poor treatment of you, he needs to grow up.

    RealMan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. everybody don turn overnight saint... so where those wey de beat na?

      Delete
  39. Poster how dyu say your "horseband" is everything in a man and still tag him a "horseband"

    ReplyDelete
  40. Madam poster take my advice and come back and thank me, if u had little misunderstandings don't talk when he is talkig and or angry b/c it will lead to beating , learn to ignore him when he is insulting u, u learn to keep quiet even ever Ur husband is angry no matter how hurtful his words could be,u should never say a word or get angry about it,instand after the issue mighth hv been settled may be the next day , calmly tell him how hurt u feel for the word he said to u . I assure that he will never lay a finger on u again. madam study Ur husband temperament, it will help you handle him better,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You don't need to do anything for an abuser to hit you,biko,you never jam, they just need their supply

      Delete
  41. She kept saying "but I have always been there for him" madam, he has seen you finish. Just endure ko? After all he is everything you need in a man abi. Start enjoying the beatings and insults, these are the things you need in a man.

    ReplyDelete
  42. I hate domestic violence but in some cases the truth has to be told. This poster is rude. You know your man has a temper and yet you talk back at him. Why reply him when he called you stupid. Why tell him something 3 times. Crying does not kill children. Let the girl cry. Once he gets to that mood start counting from one to 200. It is you they will beat. If you are not ready to leave him, you better take this advice.
    Feel free to masturbate under my comment.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Nonsense and Ingredients.
    I didn't go beyond the first paragraph.
    So after describing how he's everything you want in a man and bla bla bla, you still added that he hits you.
    Hanty, he's nothing you want in a man.

    ReplyDelete
  44. That your husband will never change, if you like put bible on his head, he will still remain the same. Except God arrest him, my advice if you cannot accept him the way he is cos that is whom he is, then you walk away.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Honey you already know what to do but you are seeking validation. I have been there before. Save up some money any way you can and leave. You can try to work things out from a safer environment by involving family members.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Die there you hear??? All you ever wanted. See!! Next time he hits you, smash his windscreen or slash his tires. Let people ask him what happened, if he will have mouth to answer. Disgusting.

    ReplyDelete
  47. This is what happen when a wife dont know how to comminicate with her husband.
    always with an angry voice,,,
    if i was on phone and my wife wanted me to help her carry my baby she will just
    come closer kiss me and hand the child to me and walk away before i can open my
    mouth to talk,,,,if he called you stupid and you knew that you are not stupid you
    just laugh and said thanks you,,,sometime learn to be silents its help alots
    with an abuse man,,,,one day i was shouting at my wife and the next she do is to
    drop a glass of water by my side and walk away,,,i have to go out and get her some gift,
    learn ur husband and you will enjoy him later,,shallom

    ReplyDelete
  48. Kai poster sorry o,it’s easy for us to say leave the marriage but it’s nt easy for you to actually do to b realistic..I’ll advice you to talk to him,and if he doesn’t listen involve your parents n inlaws,if he still doesn’t listen involve your pastor or imam,if he still continues madam walk out of that torture called marriage n dont just walk out alone o mk sure you take your kids along ..you’ll not come n die because you r married

    ReplyDelete

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