Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Mama Tee Series -Naming The Baby Brouhaha

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Friday, February 02, 2018

Mama Tee Series -Naming The Baby Brouhaha

Who should name the baby?I never knew something as trivial as naming a new born is capable of tearing a family apart.





A cousin of mine gave birth sometime last year. According to her, she and hubby sat down, browsed the internet and picked beautiful baby names. When she delivered, her mother in-law came over for omugwo. 


A day to the naming ceremony, mother in-law was asked to add her own names to the two names already picked by the parents of the child, she told them that they have to re-write the names as her own choice of names would come first. My cousin said her hubby quickly apologised to his mum. 


She looked on as they changed the names, as an old woman grandma chose all these local mgbeke names. lol. In her mind, my dear cousin already knew what they would call the child in the absence of the old woman.


Fastforward to 3months later, when the mother in-law left this January, my cousin started calling her child the name she herself picked, trouble started at home. Hubby insisted she calls the little girl by the name his mum chose. My cousin being the stubborn type disagreed with dearest husband. In her own words, how can his mum come and pick the name they should call their child? A child she carried in her womb for 9months, after all her labour pains? 


I told her to listen to her hubby for the sake of peace. The man has reported her to both families. It's getting out of hand already. Even though the name the old woman chose is somehow local but what's in a name? I told her she can add the tush one she likes as a middle name and when the child grows up, she(the child) can switch to anyone. Abi how una see my advice?


Mama Tee


*I dont know about anyone else but a name is everything and we have to be careful of who and what kind of names...if it is local but is a name that Glorifies God,why not?Better Ogheneruro than Atutupuyoyo..lol


48 comments:

  1. The man is just being immature. I don't think he should be having a fit cos his wife calls their child the name she gave her...

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    Replies
    1. Typical Y-demon moves; puppet in their mother's hands.

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    2. The father of the child is the one that has the authority to name his child. In his absence, the mother of the child can do it. Yes some cultures allow family and friend send in their names for the baby but it is the responsibility of the father.

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    3. This man is a mummy's pet and not fit for marriage. Why not stand with the wife? They r supposed to be "one flesh"

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  2. Mother inlaws always wants to exercise their powers. The husband and wife has the right to choose the name they wants for their children. We both choose the name we wanted.

    Anyway she should just pipe low and allow peace to reign. The husband did not do well at all. Mama's boy.

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  3. No mother will chose a name for my child.. It has to be BTW me and my husband... My mother in law can only chose a native name.. Which I will only call the child if i liked the name..

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  4. For me, only the parents has right to name their child.

    I will choose the English name and hubby will choose the native name.

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    Replies
    1. A name is everything, a name even predicts a child's journey in life. When i was pregnant,that is how my in laws kept saying Babatunde up and down because their father just died.

      I told my husband, this child in my womb is not your father biko and my child will not be named Babatunde. He frowned his face but eventually we chose the names we wanted, names that edify God.

      Parents ahould know when to back off and stop interfering. You can name the child as a grand parent but whatever they choose to call the child is up to the parents.

      Let your cousin continue to call her child the name she desires, nonsense.

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    2. A name is everything!!!!

      You're so right, how can my parent insist my child be called the name they chose?? They can call the child what they chose but my child will bear what we, her parent choose by God's grace.....

      I'll choose the native, hubby can choose the English, but the sequence will be native, English and then surname..... By God's grace

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    3. In my own case,my baby bears the name her great grandma named her,though I call her the name because it's a very beautiful and edifying name,then hubby and I chose an English name which I call her too even in school she bears the English name and she's even called another name by my mother as well.
      It boils downs to understanding between couples and it mustn't cause fight or argument.

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  5. I didn't use to like one of my igbo names but now I've decided to put it up and be addressed by it.

    The name was given to me by the doctor who took charge during birth. Though too long but I'm proud of it now.

    It's up to the child at d end of d day

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  6. For what !!!!my child will be called by the name given to her/him by we the parents.The husband should allow peace to reign or he should also go and get a reproductive organ , then go through labour pains then he can choose whoever he likes to name his child

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    Replies
    1. Some of these men don't have sense.

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  7. This is a dicey situation. Pls MIL,let parents name their children. It's not fair at all. The parents (father and mother) have to agree on a name, then she can give a middle name. If someone else named your son doesn't give u the go ahead to name another's child. Let's break that cycle.
    On the other hand, she should just accept it for peace to reign as children of this era do not find it difficult to change names that they do not connect with.
    Take me for instance, I completely changed my names while in Junior Secondary School by selecting the names I liked that was written on my birth certificate and disregarding the others especially the one my late grandma named me,God bless her soul;it was a well meaning name but too archaic and people tend to ask too many questions when u mention that name...I also added a well-meaning English name that speaks grace, favour and Joy into my life and later became my first name.
    My parents still say to this day that I took charge over my life immediately I became a big girl in J.S.S 1 but that was because they supported me in my quest...

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  8. My father in law gives my kids their Igbo names,while hubby and I give them their English names.
    No big deal

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  9. grandma named her own children, why cant she allow another woman name her own child. both grandma and son should bear in mind that this is the 21st century not back in the days when the so called "elder's right" is imposed. will her own daughter allow it?

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  10. I'm sorry but I named my kids myself. When I was pregnant, I already had a name for the baby. And I was praying with that name. When baby came and he wanted to bring his name. I told him I already had a name. He was like okay. Time for second pregnancy and I asked him if he had any name in mind so I start praying with and he said no, that I'm better at naming kids. And that's how I named. My father inlaw named my kids too but I honestly can't remember the names. Because no one calls such local names. Even him doesn't call the names but calls the names I gave them.

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  11. Lols. Mothers inlaw always add their own names mostly native names to the main names. In some cases, they pick the main native name.

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  12. The mother in law was wrong but she shouldn't allow a trivia matter tear her family apart

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  13. Funny situation indeed. My wife is from Edo state and I from Benue state but she insist on giving Yoruba names to our children and she actually calls them by such. I am tired of talking jare. I cannot come and go and kee mysef becos of this. She sometimes mixes the names anyway which is still okay.

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  14. Their is no big deal here, my mom is in charge of naming all her grand children, it's her calling

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  15. My children will bear only the names given to them by me nd hubby..my parents nd mil have their own names for my son which they call him sometimes tho( nice names)...igbos say na afa onye na edu ya, I don't have strength to be praying again ontop other life issues cos of the name someone else gave my child! Hubby fought for our son to bear his name but i refused..name that his grandfather gave him, very old one kyn name so that my child will have the same pattern of life as him, no please..

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  16. The husband is the one being immature here.

    Me i'ld prefer granny give native name if she wants buy the English own should be by the parents.

    So the hubby is saying she doesn't have any right to name her own child she carried in her womb baa.

    Me I wee not gree that one.

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  17. Any name chosen by anyone else besides me and my husband remains a pet name and will not appear or be used on any official document of my cutie. In this case I totally blame the husband, he is being insensitive. Why ask your mother for a name after you and your wife have already discussed and agreed on a name?

    I mean if I can't name my child after all the pain and suffering to birth him/her, whose child will I now name?

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  18. Names matter alot and for your friends hubby to be fighting his wife over a child she carried in her womb for 9months shows where his loyalty lies and it's definitely not with his wife.

    I will name my kids and every other grandparent can give my kids the native names which offcourse we will never use.Except as a middle name and if the child grows and wishes to use it herself.

    LEPπŸ˜›

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  19. Hmmmmm....I believe every woman have right to name thier child..my husband gave my first baby his late mothers name.I dont have anything against the woman,cause I never meet her.but I have my own name that I want to call my child,I dont want to tie my child destiny with a woman that has ended her own race.we fauth about it.I just keep quite and continue to call my baby the name I gave her.I also got another birth certificate that carry the name I want.men should hnour their wife,why dragging name with the person that carry baby for 9month and still nurse the baby and u.there is this stupid ego that I am the man,it is what I want.noooooooo,she deserve more than those stupid authority.

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    Replies
    1. Wicked soul. Because you carried the pregnancy he doesn't get to name his child again. Bitter soul. You can kill. Two birth certificates indeed!

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    2. Nobody has time for all those iyabo, yetunde and babatunde names.Husband and wife should name their children and i think a woman who suffered to carry the pregnancy should have more say.

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  20. Oh, how I love and appreciate my mum. She never named any of my brothers kids. She'd suggest and we'll all just laugh it off, sis-in-law included. In the end we all brainstormed on a name together.

    The mother in law had no right. And the son is just stupid (I want to apologize for the insult but I can't). It's your family not ur mum's, ur wife decision on this should come first

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  21. Both my mom and mil have different names they call my son. Even my father has a name for him too. My hubby sometimes calls him the name mil gave him but I didn't include it in his birth certificate. Av warned all of dem not to confuse my child when he is growing up o...
    one of my nephews seriously warned my mom that what she was calling him was not his name and that nobody bears that name in the house so she should stop calling the name and he was just 4yrs old. My mom went ahead to explain the meaning and signifiace of the name he still insisted he did not like it and should not be referred as such pls... whenever she calls him that he starts crying and runs to report to his mom πŸ˜…

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  22. my father inlaw gave my baby his language name. hubby and i gave him English names...

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  23. Mother In-law self,almost the same thing happened to my sis. She went to visit her husband's family. The mother in-law was like why are they not calling the baby the name they picked.

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  24. That is how in laws too will be dragging who will name their grandchild(ren). The wife should let it be since her husband already concurred

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  25. So funny reading the comments. So Nigerians give their kids English names. Don’t you have Nigerian names or are they deemed too local as some of you have noted above. Sad that even though Nigeria is no longer an English colony your slave mentally still exists. You can never hear of an English person naming their child a Nigerian name.

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    Replies
    1. All u judginas, everything na slave mentality. Most people give their kids English names cos they are Christians. This doesn't mean all of us were referring to English names.

      Just don't name my child for me, that's what thus post is about abeg

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    2. BTW, since u are not dwelling with the slave mentality, why are u typing in English??? Was it not the slave masters that brought it with them?

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    3. Anon colonial era, English is our official language, it makes it easier for ppl that's not from same tribe to pronounce the names

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    4. People also use good English and Christian names for their children when the parents are from different tribes as it creates a balance.

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  26. My MIL will be the only one to call my children the names she picked for them.

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  27. Instead of making plans for the child's future to ensure she did not lack the good education and good things of life. They are here fighting over name. Petty husband

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  28. My child being the first grandchild in ny family, got 16 names, the ones I remembered to write down for d pastor. At d end of the day, its d names hubby n I chose dat was on d birth cert. And theres no fight. All d rest na formality. My parents cant even seem to rem d names dey gave her.

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  29. We had both kids names on their certificate before any addition by either parents. So parents names are noted but we stuck to names we chose

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  30. I suggested the names we gave our daughter, hubby went through the list and chose two ( a native and an English name, we both agreed and named our baby. However my mum has her own special name that she calls her.

    I think the parents (especially the father) has the sole right to name their child, except they agree on passing that right to anyone else.

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  31. My husband and I choose our children names, my mother in law only bring one native name which I respect so much, because she respects me too .

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  32. I had similar experience with my first child,the 4grandparents and our siblings get to give their names before the ceremony.my FIL insisted His name be the first name on the list,didn't want to give hubby a difficult time so I let it slip,MIL was with me for 3months and I'd already started calling my daughter the name we gave her.if I call her the name mama go correct me with their own,I'll just smile,I never complained o but shebi na me go do birth certificate....lol!my FIL still complains till date that we don't call her the name he gave her(that's her middle name) bet its never a serious issue,shebi my dad named the kids too and call them by that one,don't force the parents to use the name you gave their kids nowhnnn!
    FIL named my son too,called few weeks to delivery to tell hubby and that he should tell me o(lol)I'd never had a clear name I wanted before then even after praying all the while,we started praying with that and that is his first name!baba still gave the boy his second name and wanted that to be the second name too,I told hubby MBA o,the first name is his So na me get the second name and he didn't argue!
    Wanted to give my daughter an English name hubby say him and his siblings don't bear any English name,I was upset but I didn't hold it to heart,when my FIL gave my son JOHN as d second name I reminded hubby that shebi u no dey bear English name,he had issues for days trying to satisfy his dad cos baba must see the name for list on christening day,I just show a bit of anger but i told him its no problem,shebi na to put an for list nikan ni.....lol!
    Baba is the nicest man in the world and he no dey use my matter play,I love him to bits!!!

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  33. Men this inlaw people they worry. Firstly after giving birth my mother inlaw said my child is her husband that came back immediately I rejected it and the father rejected it. Next thing they held. Family meeting saying their elder brother should name my child. A man that was against his brother marrying me. Even when he came to Port Harcourt he came to my house nd refuse to enter. My husband and him traveled to Abuja so they came back to PH together and hubby called me to come pick them next thing we started looking for his elder brother, he left and used public transport. Thts the person they want to name my son. I just said in my mind that it won't happen. After he brought the name I googled d English name nd it didn't make any meaning to me I just told my husband if he doesn't have an English name to name my son that pls I will name him. After much argument he agreed. When our pastor came to the house for the naming he brought up the name again nd told our pastor, our pastor just asked him if he has his own name he said yes my pastor just shut him up and told him a man is suppose to name his child by himself then anybody can call him what ever they like. That was how my hubby gave him his Igbo name nd I gave him his English name. Trouble no good

    ReplyDelete

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