Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Friday, March 16, 2018

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmm.....




STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
HAUNTED BY THE PAST


Hi Stella,

Please hide my identity. (Long post alert. Please patiently read.)

I have been a fan and an ardent reader of our blog community since 2012. I have read tons of chronicles and provided advice as well. Did not think it will be my turn someday.

Love the advice I read here.

Stella, I do not know how to describe what is happening with me. I am very blessed and happily married with two children. My husband is a good man and God fearing. We have had some drama but its expected with relationships but we are keyed in tight and our s§x life is literally FIREWORKS!! Simply put, I love him.

However,….Stella, I feel like I am haunted from my past. I still don’t know why!!


Prior to getting married, I was in an 8 year off and on relationship with a guy I began dating when I was 20. He was 24. He was the first man I truly deeply cared for and loved passionately and hopelessly. He had NOTHING! I loved him fiercely. He is well spoken, intelligent and charming. He was a drop out and had a stormy upbringing and background.


I got admission into the university and we spent more time together as I would occasionally stay the night. He was my world and taught me a lot, as he is self-schooled. (He reads a lot). We shared a lot. Time, my little stipend for school, foodstuff and cooked food from my mom’s kitchen and more. He is also very generous.


After a while, he got a job by God’s Mercy and become a media person (I guarantee he speaks so well). The issues started. Women wanted him and I guess…he wanted them. In the course of the 8 years, we drifted but remained soul mates. I suspect he dated other people and I felt so hurt and betrayed. I prayed and hoped to forget this guy and I couldn’t. I was weak and so in love.


We had no blood covenant, no pregnancy, no abortions, nothing vile or evil. However, he had struggles so he took to porn, smoking and drinking when alone. He claimed these were the reasons I just could not show up at his place unannounced. I turned up once and he did not let me in. (I am not stupid. I knew someone was in there with him) I looked away and let it go. I could not get this guy of my system and I knew I had to. I was praying about it. I could not!

Fast forward to 2007, I had graduated, served and had a job when he proposed to me. I was not expecting it but I was happy. We did have a connection and he knew as I knew we were bound. I do not understand it still. He told me it would be a long engagement. Never heard of that before that day either so, I calmly took all in.

He stopped seeing me afterwards; he will not take my calls nor visit. I felt so confused and hurt. One day, he called and said he wanted us to see. So I said ok and that I will meet him up. The day I visited, I felt like a stranger in his house, I couldn’t bring myself to believe this is the same guy I had known since the last 8 years at the time so I sat in the living room and we later went to have lunch.


We sat in the car he got me when he told me he wants to break up with me. I asked him why and he gave no reason. I asked if he still loves me and he said No! I waited; I thought I would die as I always thought when I used to think about loosing him. I did not. So, I said so far so good. I offered back his ring and the car he refused collecting them. When he exited the car, I watched him walk away. He did not look back. Stella, I wept like a child.


 I was the saddest human being on earth that Sunday night. Tears did not stop flowing as I drove home into my mother’s arms (I called her on my way home because I did not trust I would make it home with the tears blinding my vision). She was a strict mom but God made her soft that day cos I was broken and cried and she dried my tears. Something died in me. 


He started calling after two weeks and texting crazily wanting me back. I cussed him out so badly when he was begging, even up to his late mom and called him an illiterate. Felt so bad afterwards. I had gotten strength and did not want to go back! I needed him to be upset and leave me alone. I was finally free but broken. I changed my number and exited all social media platforms to avoid him contacting me. Fam, I have not set my eyes on him since that day in 2008. When I turn my back or make up my mind, it is always final.


A week after the breakup, my husband walked into my life (I must have done something right) and the rest is beautiful.

Problem is, recently, since the last one year I have been seeing this ex in my dreams. Very frequent dreams . They are so strong and real and we always had a strong bond in them. I do not think about him or bother about him. When I sleep, it is a different matter. I am sick of it. I do not want to call his name in my sleep one-day ooooo.

Out of curiosity, I stalked his media accounts, he is still working that job but he is also an IT Programmer and specialist. I must knocked his eyes open when I cussed him out to be an illiterate. I am secretly proud of him. (Do not get me wrong, I am still mad at him but maybe the genuine care for him makes me happy he did achieved something.)

I am in love with my hubby but why are my dreams haunted by this ex person? Or na spiritual husband? As our Marine specialists on this blog always ascribe stuff to. I do not even know what corner of the planet this ex is on so I do not plan to see him.

I just need these dreams of him to stop.

Please fam, what do I do?


*Have you prayed?..Maybe its nothing you should worry about so forget.


44 comments:

  1. The mind plays tricks sometimes and most times we dream of things we keep in our heads before we go to bed.
    Stop checking him out on social media and let him go. You weren't expecting the break up and so you wouldn't forget about it in a long time.
    A lot of married women Reminisce on what could have been if they married their exes and funny how it's usually the one's in good marriages who experience that because humans are insatiable.
    Let him go and keep flourishing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree. I think this is him in your subconscious, it has nothing to do with the spiritual.

      Delete
    2. Bless you!! Im happily married but use to dream of my EX.The truth is that my EX lovemaking was mind blowing, my lawd!! love making with him was sweeter than honey. I left him because he is not yet ready for marriage. I met my husband a God fearing Man who pampers me like a princess.The sex is good 'not like my EX' We have been married for the past 22 years with 3 lovely children. Believe me i still dream of my EX every now and then. He is my friend on facebook, we chat once in a while. But i ve make up my mind since my marriage i will never cheat on my Husband. So dream or no dream, nothing can lead me astray IJN

      Delete
    3. You write well as well. Trust me once you have real issues, you'll forget him. You are veeeery comfortable.

      Delete
    4. 22 yrs of marriage? thats wonderful

      Delete
  2. You don't have a problem. Is just that your unconscious mind is thinking about him that's why you have this dreams. When you wake up ask God to take away those dreams and don't think about the dream if u have one. With time it will go away.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You "did not abort, get pregnant etc"
      How about sex with this guy?

      Delete
  3. Ur village pple have decided to press ur voodoo doll....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ....village people hacking her dusted files & submitting it on top other 2018 files, you should have burnt them... thats why closure is very necessary! You suppressed all the anger, disappointment, pain mixed with real love for a long time, now the lid is blowing off steam, thats xactly your plight but it passes, it'd pass swiftly if you dont nurture & feed the thoughts, keep replacing them consciously with relevant thoughts. The worst thing that'd happen is you contacting him with just "HI"... You wouldnt believe the outburst of emotions you wouldnt be able to contain!

      Delete
    2. Lmao! Blackberry I was looking for you.

      Delete
    3. @erased Ink. Such an intelligent person my goodness. I look forward to reading your comments always. Let's be friends!

      Delete
    4. You've hit the nail on the head @ erased ink. There wasn't closure and you're still thinking of him on a subconscious level. It happened to me and an ex...funny, shortly after the dreams, she contacted me and the rush of memories and emotions was exhilarating. It took the Grace of God that I didn't cheat but we talked about it openly and came to terms and it's been years now and we're good friends.
      Get your closure...free him from your mind and if necessary, open up to someone.
      We're all anonymous here

      Delete
  4. This is deep, will come back to read the comments later. Maybe I can learn a thing or two

    ReplyDelete
  5. Doppelganger, don't I just love you?
    Madam,love your husband more!
    You are in control of your mind.Stop thinking about him even'by-mistake-thought'.
    Please pray well before the devil play with your home.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Maybe you have been thinking much about your past recently and him being a huge part of it might be reason you saw him in your dreams. I will advise to stop reading meaning into the dreams. They are probably just dream. Stop checking him out on social media to avoid sliding into his DM and starting something that will cost you your beautiful family.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Madam, Its just your mind playing tricks on you. But I'll still advice you to stay away from him as far as possible. Except you wan know wetin be Okafor's law!

    ReplyDelete
  8. sweeti,there's nothing wrong with you. you loved him and he hurt you. it's normal that you seek for closure which you haven't. Try forgiving him from the bottom of your heart. A lot of people still think about their exes. Don't stress yourself too much. it's nothing spiritual. just stop stalking him on social media. you will be fine

    ReplyDelete
  9. THE DEVIL KNOWS YOUR WEAKNESS AND WOULD ALWAYS WANT TO USE IT TO WRECK YOUR HAPPINESS.
    You have found something beautiful with your hubby...so dont be surprised that the devil would want to rock your boat to make you think about the one person you should forget. Its absolutely nothing...trust me..even when you see him or do stuff with him in your dreams..just wake up and forget it...when d devil sees he cant get under your skin..he'll leave you alone. pls just forget it...enjoy your marriage!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Don't let it be a distraction to you, focus on your marriage! Tell your husband about the dreams, pray together, Read the word of God always. If any man be in Christ his a new creature old things as pasted away!!! Don't give the devil a chance, be very careful!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. He's unconsciously in ur mind. That's why the dreams. It's nothing serious. Ure still mad at him, and the way he hurt u still hunts you. Genuinely forgive and let him out of your mind. you will be fine...

    ReplyDelete
  12. Chai, just because your husband has failed to keep you busy with gainful distraction that's why you have time to dey hungry for outside prick so! This Chronicle here is why it's not good to make a woman over comfortable and confident in a relationship. She backslides too easily, always in search for more greener and challenging pastures upandan.
    #mtcheeew

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. take ur drugs, you'd be fine.

      Delete
  13. Sooner or later, you will tell us you just messaged him to know how he is doing, afterall we can just be friends. Stop stalking your ex. It never ends well. Trust me on this

    ReplyDelete
  14. You have no problem if you love your husband and he treats you right. Stop checking up on Mr. Ex on social media, in case you don't know it yet, people lie on SM. You don't owe him anything, he cheated on you and eventually broke up with you.

    ReplyDelete
  15. You treated him well but he mistreated you. It’s the injustice that’s still nagging you till now. Just arrange for some boys to beat him up. Una go dey equal and ya mind go cool down.

    ReplyDelete
  16. 8 years no be beans. You haven’t gotten full closure. Your feelings for him are unresolved. The minute you let him back in you will realize you still love him and may cheat. The first love is the deepest.

    You already have a good thing going. This guy is a distraction. Cut him off from your life. Easier said than done but do it.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Im guessing he hasnt left you mentally. Even if you believe you have rejected him, you havent.

    Depending on your dream..

    (A dream of happiness) — You miss him.

    (A dream of Unhappiness) — You havent let go of the possible stress amounted from your time with him.

    (A dream in between) — Pause your thoughts, take some time off and enjoy your day while keeping that dream to yourself. See how you feel at the end of the day. That would be your answer as to what the dream means.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I hope abortion and fornication minister won't be here littering the comment section.

    ReplyDelete
  19. First cut is the deepest, baby I know.... still tear up to that song. Poster you will be fine.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Well, the devil is trying to rear its ugly head. Dreams are sometimes the reflections of our daily thoughts, so try and get him off your mind like you have always done. It is well with you...

    ReplyDelete
  21. My dear the problem us closure. U failed to get closure from ur ex after ur relationship ended. You think of him and imagine what could have been. Now let me tell you the truth point blank, you love your husband but not with the whole of your heart and that is why this is happening. What you are doing by thinking of your ex is emotional cheating yes you are cheating on him in your mind by thinking of your ex. I speak from experience and because of this feelings you harbour you can not function 100% as d wife you are. But the truth I learnt over time is this the grass always looks greener on the other side but its only a mirage if you are not with him means you guys were not meant to be. Like other BVS have said never I repeat never contact him because part of you is still in love with that man. If you do woe betide u you will regret it. Asides the outburst of emotions you might end up in adultery, start changing towards your husband and lots more. For the sake of the beautiful family you have forget about him, cos the devil is plotting to put sand sand in your garri if you don't and you might just end up destroying your good marriage

    ReplyDelete
  22. Your village people have finally found the piece of paper where they copied your address. No advice here will change what is going to happen next. Nothing spiritual here. Take charge of your life. It's not worth it ooo. Jide onwe gi aka.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Let the past stay there. You by your own accounts have a blissful marriage so where is all this coming from suddenly? Next time you dream of him and wake up roll over and kiss your husband deeply and light up the fireworks. When you get to thinking about him and wanting to stalk his social media write a live letter to your husband instead. Every time he come up in some way turn to your husband, eventually his energy will be gone from your memory.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I lo e your afvice anon.
      The devil is a big liar.

      Delete
  24. Reading this, I felt like I was reading a story I wrote about myself.
    I am happily married with a son now but was also heartbroken by my first love. Some months ago he messaged me out of the blues on my social media page asking for forgiveness and all that and I told him I forgave him and was even happier now and I thank God it didnt work out with him. He left me to marry someone else in the diaspora cause of papers then. It turns out I got married to my husband who lives on the same country as my ex now. The union between my ex and the girl he left me for did not work out (not surprised).
    Last week my husband found out I and this ex have been chatting and he was upset which is understandable. For the 1st time in my 4years of marriage my husband ignored me for 2 days. The situation helped me realise that I should not smell what I cant eat cause you never know what can happen despite our willpower. We are all humans and as much as I love my husband, I cannot predict what would happen if I continue chatting/being friendly (innocently) with this guy. I had to tell my ex that I have forgiven him but dont see the need to keep in touch with hom anymore cause I dont want trouble in my home. I am glad he got in touch with me though cause I also use to think unconsiously about him before he did, wondering why he left me after 8years together. Now I know and I have closure. He is unhappy and regrets leaving me but that is not my business anymore. He made his choice and he has to live with it.
    So poster, try and take your mind off this ex cause nothing good will come out of it especially if your husband finds out. If your ex contacts you fine, hear him out, forgive and cut all ties cause communicating with him will lead to no good in the long run. Also put yourself in your husband's shoes. You say you are happy, focus on your family and leave the past in the past. Do not ever let your husband have a reason not to trust you. I am trying to rebuild his trust in me now after this issue we had.
    I now value him more and I am grateful I have a love like this.

    ReplyDelete
  25. People should learn to keep their past in the past where they belong. Sis, stop disturbing your head. Live your now......

    ReplyDelete
  26. Pray over it abd it shall be well.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Pray against soul ties connecting both of you. You have to get to a point where you feel absolutely nothing for him. And it's possible he's thinking a lot about you and it's getting to you. Pray fervently against soul ties...and no communication. Not even by error. I wish you strength and peace!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Let me recommend this movie, the name is "Misty". It is Korean but a must watch so that you can feel a bit better and resolute in your decision to keep loving your husband

    ReplyDelete
  29. Pray this prayer
    Any bond tying me to my past sexual partner break in Jesus name. You can insert his name where necessary. Wake up by 12 am to pray. I won’t even explain further.

    ReplyDelete

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