Saturday Laughs

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Secondary School teachers be like...

we're not going deep into this topic, when you get to the university, you'll be taught.
And now, those university lecturers will come and tell me we are not going to talk much about this topic, they already taught you this in secondary school.
When are they going to teach us eh?





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Yesterday, I only had N200 in my pocket. I confidently walked into Sheraton and made an order of the most expensive meal they had available accompanied by the most expensive wine. After the meals and drinks my bill was N84,750 after which I told the waiter I had no money. The perplexed waiter called the hotel manager who promptly handed me over to the police. On my way to the station I gave the N200 to the officers and was set free.


This is what we call financial management.
Try it too .




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Some girls will still choose half a million naira over nine hundred thousand naira
Because there's million in it.🤣🤣



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When a girl texts you "Hi" You reply "Hello" Then she texts you "I have missed you, Can you do me a favor"
I advice you to quickly switch off your phone, and remove the battery, infact remove the Sim card too....My brother protect your wallet at any cost.



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Instead of telling police dat robbers were operating in their compound, a man called to say Yahoo boys were dragging out bags with loads of cash and in less than 10mins the police arrived and found out the truth for themselves 


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Silvio, an 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a check-up.


The doctor is amazed at the shape the guy is in and asks, 'How do you stay in such great physical condition?'

'I'm Italian and I am a Cyclist ....' says Silvio, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out Cycling up and down the highways. I have a glass of vino and all is well.'


'Well....' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Father when he died?'

'Who said my Father's dead?'


The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and your Father's still alive. How old is he?'

'He's 102 years old,' says Silvio. 'he Cycled with me this morning, went to the beach for a walk, had a little vino and that's why he's still alive.
Italian ....... Cyclist......

'Well....' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Father's Father? How old was he when he died?'


'Who said my Nonno's dead?'

Stunned, the doctor asks, 'you mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living? Incredible!! How old is he?'


'He's 123 years old,' says the Old Italian Cyclist.


The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So, I guess he went Cycling with you this morning too?'

'No, Nonno couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today.'

At this point, the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married? Why would a 123 year- old guy want to get married?'

'Who said he wanted to get married.... He had to !!!!!!!

......THE GIRL GOT PREGNANT!!'


Never quit Cycling and Wine.




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It was John's turn to drive carpool into town on a day when a new member was traveling along for the first time. As they rode along he began to be suspicious of his new carpooling passenger.


John checked to see if his wallet was safe in the pocket of his coat that was on the seat between them, but it wasn't there. He immediately slammed on the brakes, ordered the fellow out, and said, "Hand over the wallet!"


The frightened carpooler handed over a billfold, before John drove off, leaving him alone at the side of the road. When he arrived home that evening, he started to tell his wife about the experience.


Just as he started to recount the whole story, she interrupted him, saying, "Oh, that reminds me, John. Do you know that you left your wallet at home this morning?"