Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Thursday, April 19, 2018

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Oh Dear!....



STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MARRIED TO A FORMER YABA LEFT PATIENT


Good day Madam Stella. I am a chronic addict to your blog. Your are doing a wonderful job. 

I am terribly sad. I have no one to cry to. 

I dated my soon to be ex-husband for 3 years. I stay in Niger state while he stays in Abuja. During that period. I prayed and fasted to God to reveal whether he is my husband or not. We didn't have s§x. 

His cousin introduced us.

 We got married in April last year. Now i am pregnant. Guess what Madam Stella?! I just found out that he used to have mental problem.!!!!!

 How do i know? When we got married I saw some signs. Then a close relative confirmed it. I have been devastated. I hate myself right now. I kept myself for this?! 

I dont know what to do. I am seriously considering an abortion. I know how you feel about abortion But you know madness is hereditary. I don't want my child to have this disease. 

P.s. I am seriously planning to deal with his cousin that introduced us. Please pray that i don't commit mur***
Hide my identity.


*It is hereditary?

JESUS CHRIST!!!...please dont commit anything....
I dont now what to tell you at this point as you didnt indicate what kind of issues he has or what you saw.
Please i wish you all the best in whatever decision you take...

110 comments:

  1. Most times courtship is important, it will make you know your spouse to be much better. All the same keep the child and go on your KNEELS. There is nothing God can not do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na only giveaway you dey fit read abi?

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    2. hahahahaha but she don give her own response there na. She said go on your knees. Abeg leave our whatever for us

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    3. You have not expressly said what he is doing to you.
      The fact that he had this issue in the past does not make him always a patient Depending on how the whole thing started.
      Some could be as a result of setback resulting in depression and mental break down absolutely having nothing to do with gene so be very careful and be rather supportive of the man.
      If he is on drugs make sure he takes it regularly so he doesn't suffer a relapse.
      Please what ever you do dont add to his problems

      Delete
    4. Mental illness is not hereditary Madam. The fact that he had mental issues doesn't make him less of a human being or husband. Advice him to continue to see a psychiatrist and therapist so he won't relapse. There are many people with mental illness (schizophrenic /bipolar/depressed) that had one or two episodes in the past but with the right cure were healed. Some are even doctors, nurses, architect, business men/women etc. And you wouldn't tell if they don't tell you themselves or hear it from those who knew. Pray for him and ask God to protect him and cancel that illness from his life. He will be fine and as long as he is a good husband you will be fine. Don't abort that baby, mental illness is not hereditary. There are just things that trigger mental illness like traumatic childhood, painful break up, death of a loved one etc. Any one of us could be a victim. Those with mental illness should not be stigmatized but treated with love and affection. Yes there are severe cases of mental illness and that's because the illness went undetected for long but with the right medicine and therapy you can stabilize the patient and patients may need to stay in a psychiatric hospital for a while. If you know you can't cope with him because of your fears leave him so he can find somebody that loves him for who he is. If you leave him that may trigger the mental illness but if he has a good psychiatrist he will be fine. I'll advice you to stand by him, love him and build a beautiful family. Research what exactly he was diagnosed with and learn the things that trigger the illness so as to avoid a relapse. Most importantly pray.

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    5. Well said darling. God bless you.

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    6. Well said darling. God bless you. In addition, he should've told her. This secret is enough grounds for annulment. I won't blame her if she decides to leave the marriage. Intending couples should please let their partners in on grave secrets that might cause issues in future. Poster, please don't abort your child.

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    7. Rebel Fleur, say the one you 're sure of. Many mental illnesses are familial, so is diabetes, hypertension etc. You can counsel/advise to encourage her husband. But saying it is not familial is not true.

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    8. I know what I'm saying. I had a friend who had bipolar disorder she was scared to give birth because she too thought it was hereditary but the doctor assured her is not.I accompanied her at the hospital so I heard it with my own ears.Ask any psychiatric and they will all tell you is not hereditary. That my friend doesnt have any mental ill person in her lineage but her mental illness was caused by childood trauma. Know your facts before you speak. Mental illness is not hereditary. Anyyone could be affected due to traumatic experiences.

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    9. Rebel flaur hush.. You know nothing . Stop saying nonsense. Typical of Nigerians . Mental illness is hereditary.

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    10. rebel fleur.... unfortunately genetics play a huge role in a number of mental illnesses. I am a doctor so I know. people with family history of schizophrenia, for example are much more likely to be tipped into 'madness' by life occurences/trauma than other people. the anon up there told you the truth.

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    11. rebel fleur....bipolar disorder also tends to have a genetic component even though some people with no previous family history can also become bipolar/depressed/manic. your friend's condition might just have been one of the sporadic ones. I'm sorry her doctor did not educate you people properly. ever wondered why it is that before you marry, you have to find out whether madness and epilepsy run in your intended spouse's family? it is because those two things have genetic components that put their bearers at greater risk of passing it on to their offspring than the general population. thankfully, google is available for you to learn more.

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    12. My ex has bipolar, he and his family hid it well until he started getting episodes monthly,he will be aggressive,cry and become sucidal all at once. He tried to kill me and my children’s nanny that was when it done on me. I left and never looked back. Poster,make sure your hubby is taking medication and seeing a psychiatrist for his condition.

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    13. Depends on which. Schizophrenia is hereditary.

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    14. RF, you are WRONG! Bipolar has one of the strongest genetic predispositions. Not all mental disorders are familial, but a lot of them can increase your risk more than the general population. FYI, I am board-certified in Psychiatry.

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    15. Rebel flur Pls say what you know most psychotic disorders are hereditary, poster was decivecd she has the right to know the medical condition of her husband to be since the family hide it from her, poster do as you wish

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  2. Calm down, mental illness could be managed. You don't need to opt out now pls. Be his helpmate. Help him.

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    Replies
    1. Help him wetin?
      His mother sef couldnt help him, na wife?
      Your pikin fit kolo join for the same house, you go kuku join them as u no fit beat 2 yabaleft patients

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    2. Managed?
      Managed you say???
      Do you know his kolo level? Level by level de oh....
      Abeg poster, do watever will make you sleep better without fear that someone will bite you or drown ur baby!
      I fear yabaleft patients more than HIV, theyre unpredictable i swear, it can spark up at anywhr.

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    3. Anon 15:21, you don't need to refer to them as yabaleft patients. It's not nice at all.

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    4. "Yabaleft patient" is a nice way to put it, Yaba is a place in lagos, i hope you know!

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    5. But for 3 years he was sane, so now you are married what is the problem?

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    6. This chronicle really face me shivers. About 4yrs ago, a family friend was really trying to matchmake me and her son. I had been in a relationship for almost 2 yrs with my bf then so I wasn’t looking for anything new.

      Now my mom’s old friend who lives in the same city as me was practically wooing me for her son, she bought me gifts at Xmas etc, organized dinners where the 2 of us would end up being left alone at the end etc. The guy never asked me out so I just decided to take him as a fam friend and we gisted and chatted here and there. I decided I would come out straight and tell him I’m with someone if he decides to ask me out but I Also got the impression that he wasn’t really interested in me and the mom was the one pushing this thing on us.

      She was someone my parents couldn’t really say no to so they just told her that they can’t force me on anyone and they would accept whomever I bring as hubby etc.

      I just noticed my fam friend seemed down about the fact that he was still single and clocking 40 which was understandable because all his younger ones were married with kids, I also noticed that he could be immature at times but I just chugged that down to the fact that he was looking for a wife amongst younger ladies so he was trying to come down to their level and not look so old thereby acting immature at times to fit in. I even gave him a piece of my mind once when I got irritated and told him he needed to grow up that the world didn’t revolve around him etc. because we were good pals by now but he just did and said things at times that made him seem self centered and pampered.


      I got engaged to my bf not long after he met my parents and we got married (courthouse registry). My fam friend blanked me for a while after the engagement, as in he would walk by without saying hello while everyone was congratulating me. He later either moved out of town or just avoided mutual gatherings because I didn’t see him around again until at a friends’ event about a year later. (I just told myself I didn’t do anything wrong because he never asked me out, we were pals, he would call me to chat and sound off some developmental ideas he had to me every now and then but all the while was aware I had someone, even his mum knew I had a bf. He was so shocked to see I had a baby already by the time I saw him again but he was very pleasant and congratulatory this time around. He even exchanged laughs with my hubby in the gathering etc. After that, everything was normal. As fam friends, he calls me or my siblings to gist every now and then, my siblings also know his siblings and they gist too etc.

      Only for Us to here that he had passed away sometime later. Before we even got over that shock, we then heard that it was suicide. I just couldn’t get my head around it, I didn’t think things were that bad but after further findings, it turned out he had mental illness for years and was even committed to mental institution about 3times in the past. In the past couple of yrs, his siblings would start rushing to his mother's house because he was there acting irrationally and they were scared he would hurt their mum etc. I found out so much that I never could have guessed.


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    7. Cont’s....
      But what I keep wondering is that was it wickedness on his mom’s part? I mean all those things were happening with him and she wanted me to marry him. Thank God my parents didn’t force me or nothing like that. I almost even had an argument with my mum about it when she was telling me who was serious and who wasn’t because she hadn’t met my bf yet until he came around and everything settled. For someone who his family didn’t feel his mum was completely safe with, how safe would a wife now be? Especially one who had no idea about his mental health history. I just shiver thinking about evetythino plus I’m still shocked at his death because I still feel nobody deserved that, he was a friend after all.

      This brings me to the realization that family members would hide things like that most of the time. Just because a guy’s mother loves you doesn’t mean he’s the one for you, just because his family treat you like a princess doesn’t matter if you two don’t have the required connection. You don’t know what people are hiding from you, you just don’t know the reason for their niceness.

      You can call such mothers wicked but some of them just want their child to have the closest thing to a normal life and if their sons’ mental status is not allowing that, the next thing they want is grandkids to at least soothe theirs pain/disappointment. Except an innocent girl’s life could be ruined in the process of them trying to getting their desires.

      Poster, I am sooo sorry this happened to you. I see different people making comments and some are downright judgemental and insensitive but it could have been anyone. Please do what you think is best for you and your future or your child’s future if you decide to keep the pregnancy. But don’t allow anyone to guilt you into anything or put you in the wrong mind space, you never asked for this and so should not be expected to be saddled with it expecially considering his family would now dump everything on you on top of you being pregnant. Although if you also decide to stay and see this thorough, please chose safe options. Also don’t let anyone turn you into a criminal. You must be livid right now but wait until you’re calm and in a different mind space before dealing with the cousin. You’re in my prayers

      Delete
  3. Not all mental conditions are critical so please be specific.
    PS: being holy or religious doesn't guarantee things falling in the right places.

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    Replies
    1. All these chronicles are making us(men) to think that the monies we spend during weddings are just sara!
      Abi didn't you vow that for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer until death do you path?
      Why all these pity sob stories upandan?! Madam please go and manage what God gave you like that. Abortion ke?!! Are you maaaadddd........ mtcheeew.

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    2. So why didn't the guy tell her about it? And who says it's only the groom(men) that spend money during weddings? I fact this days with more women becoming financially empowered, both parties spend sir. And deception can come from the man or woman Abeg. I married the born again way- didn't go to hubby's house so we don't 'commit' etc and the thing wey my eyes don see for inside my 14 years marriage, I tell my kids (boys and girl) I have given them license to spend time together with their prospective spouses, study them well, pray hard too, seek counselling individually and together with their partners, maybe spend weeks together, travel together etc but most importantly, observe and communicate because most people who even have something to hide whether mental, physical or extended family ish get very religious and form born again to unsuspecting future partners when they are searching for a life partner and once you enter marriage, na one chance!! To the girl, I seriously don't know what to tell you, God help you make the best decisions, the decisions I have made concerning my own ish is stated above.

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    3. A wedding/marriage based on lies & deceit is to be annuled.

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    4. Exactly my thought - marriage vows... it shows the poster is / was not ready for marriage.
      Mental Health is manageable and this poster has already written off her husband, which is sad and shows the height of disloyalty.
      Nobody knows what tomorrow holds so why break the man’a heart because ‘he used’ to be a mental health patient.
      We all have mental health (just like our physical health). Sometimes people become ill; short or long term and it doesn’t mean they are not marriage, father, friend or family worthy.

      POSTER, my advice to you is this: THANK GOD IN ALL SITUATION AND TAKE YOUR WORRIES TO HOM IN PRAYER.
      Matters might be worse than we know but pray and make your decision in private, with the support of your family and close friends. Do not bring such insensitive matter to a blog like this as it becomes a laughing matter and will not yield the appropriate result.

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    5. Joan if it was the woman that had the problem will you give out same advice??that's how some people kill their partners..You don't manage such a case cause you live in fear of the unknown,what if one night he starts and ends up killing the wife sheybi the best that can be done is put him in a mental institution but then a life would have been lost
      Why didn't he tell her about his problem cause that marriage was built on a lie

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    6. May you all or your siblings marry people with mental illness. They will hide it from you and you will Find out after marriage. You give advice you can't take . Hypocrites.

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  4. If he is taking his meds and told his Dr that he is about to try for a baby, his meds would have been reviewed in such a way that it will not affect the unborn child. He shouldn't have hidden the information from you.

    Is he still on any medication? Do you want to talk to him or his Dr about this?

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  5. Poster, you prayed and fasted if he is your horseband, did you hear from God or the cousin just pushed him to you? When they say God's time is the best, una no go hear word. You all believed time has passed? When you know time has not passed.

    You dont need to cry and you dont need to abort the baby. You can only cry to God to help you and see you through.

    How does he behave? Please let him continue taking his drugs and with prayers too, all will be fine.

    Sorry about what you are going through. It is still not the end of the world. You will be fine at last except it is hereditary as stella says if not, with prayer and constant drug taking, he will be fine.

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  6. Madam please calm down, I wonder why people fail to do full disclosure when in a relationship because regardless of anything you’d always find someone who wouldn’t mind the situation and go through the storm with you but no people would rather lie.

    Don’t do something drastic that you’d regret, your unborn baby has done nothing wrong and I’d ask that you speak to your husband about your discovery. You don’t even know what it is exactly, so please talk to him and confirm your fears that way you’d know what to do next. You’re already backing out even before confirmation.

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    Replies
    1. see how its easy in your mouth!
      Who says she hasnt done her inquiry to know the depth or gravity? Speak to mentally challenged man? what'd u hope to hear? He dsnt even know how bad it is cus when the crisis is upon him, he would be in cloud 9 and have no idea, at the moment he can even bliv hes in the white house with Pres.Trump, so you see...
      Who says you'd find someone definitely without lying? if thats the truth then there'd be no single person at 40 or 50 abi? we all lie or cover sum shady past no matter how small, you now Doppel, will u tell a man ur bodycount? ofxourse someone will still want to marry u even if its 10, so u see. some lies are grave bound sha, like our health status, but wen we find that right partner, we'r scared of losing them so we lie.

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  7. Mental issues are hereditary asides d one induced by lifestyle or black magic...one person out of a whole family might exhibit it,eg if a man is mentally disturbed, his kids will be ok, it will now manifest in his great grandkid...its just there,just like epilepsy and klepto...some might disagree but its just d bitter painful truth which lies beneath.

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    Replies
    1. Unless the yoke is broken; even the black magic one is hereditary.

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  8. Is madness really hereditary? So what you are telling us or want us to believe is that for those three years you guys dated you didn't notice the sign? I mean he didn't exhibit any trace to make you know. This is serious ooh if you ask me. Pls talk to your parents and people and hear what they will tell you.

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    Replies
    1. This is one of the disadvantages of distant relationship. You will never know everything about the person except the person tells you.

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    2. I agree with you @Cynhams. Distant relationship is not too good. Throughout their courtship period, maybe they only see themselves like 4 times in a year, maybe for just three days on each visit. The lady may not be opportune to see the real person she is marrying maybe healthwise, character etc. When they eventually settles down, problems will start knocking on their door. Poster, just put on your big girl's pant and keep your pregnancy. Also, don't underestimate the power of prayer. God is still in the business of hearing prayers. Pele

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  9. Hi poster!
    You didn't specify what type of psychological condition it is.
    Is he still on medications?
    While I condemn the act of him not revealing the truth before marriage, I would tell you to please take things easy.
    He might still be healing also, and needs love too.
    Not every condition is hereditary.
    The aetiology of some conditions are totally different and idiopathic at times.
    You can seek medical counseling as you need to heal also.
    Please don't take any irrational action, seek professional help.

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  10. As much as it hurts pls get rid of the pregnancy and move on with your life. The marriage is based on deceit and lies so you have grounds for annulment

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    Replies
    1. Hmmm, see what you are advising someone else, to get rid of her pregnancy... Na wa oh

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    2. This can't be grounds for annulment because he suppposedly got cured of his sickness.
      Cases of azoospermia (in which the guy already knows, absence of penis(bitter kola size) inpotency, polygamy and some more grievous cases can be considered for annulment.

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    3. A bite of your cake cured him abi? Where was he diagnosed? In your bakery?
      All these other ailments u mentioned are far more easy to deal with compared to a mentally challenged individual... Pls let the poster do whatever it takes, marriage isnt to be endured but enjoyed.

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    4. Cured or not, mental health is one sickness that can always come back so it's a ground for annulment if he fails to disclose it

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    5. @Cynhams cakes, my dear it is more than enough grounds for annulment for failing to disclose it.

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    6. See all the "anonymous night post" girls wey dey shoot babies commot for womb o!

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    7. Hahahah @your cake cured him.this cake woman usually sounds unintelligent. Please face your cake baking.

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  11. ive always said it on this blog that, Gos doesnt decide or intervene when it comes to our right choice of life partners, we're on our own! No matter how long u pray & fast, you'd subconsciously choose that person ur heart beats to, regardless of the reason, be it money, good sex, looks, personality...etc. Dont listen to any pastor or prophet.

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    Replies
    1. God doesnt*

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    2. Your conclusion is a lie from the pit of hell! God intervenes in our choices especially if you trust and allow him. Am saying this ,cos I am a classic case of God's intervention in a spousal choice. I am 34 and God has given me the best man, in line with what I prayed for. Mind you, I waited,trusted and believed God, even when it seemed age was running by. To God be the glory my wedding is coming up in July.So my dear, it is worth waiting solely on God.. cheers.

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    3. I thank God for you and I wish you the best. It's a bit early to conclude that your marriage is made in heaven though..

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    4. I thank God for you and I wish you the best. It's a bit early to conclude that your marriage is made in heaven though..

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    5. Oh, wait oh... you never even marry sef, youre already blowing ur trumpet *yimu*.... all these sad stories we hear & read about, they were all as excited as you now, they felt it was Dangotes son without the account balance, till marriage turned & showed them pepper!!! i dont wish that for you my dear, just dont start counting ur eggs till theyre 5yrs & still freah.

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    6. Dey there dey deceive ursef Jayniffah. I hv an aunt who's almost 50. She had several suitors as a young lady but her pastor's kept teln her that none was her hubby. She kept waitn on the one God will say is her hubby. She's almost 50 now & still waitn. We her nieces are married and having kids and she's still waiting. How have us sense so we'll use it. Don't expect him to pick ur hubby for u. Chose someone I love and then pray to God to perfect it SHikena! !!

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    7. I disagree with your conclusion about God.God answer prayers very well when it comes to choosing of life partner if you believe in his judgement.I have three cases that happens to me to buttress my point.

      1 I met a guy at my place of work, looks so humble , intelligent , caring to me , my kind of man.So i prayed and told God to tell me who this person was. I had a dream, i went to his house, i sat on a chair and a lady entered, he was scared, rushed in and the lady asked him who i was.He introduced me as his friend to her and introduced her to me as his Fiancee, then i woke up.The next morning, which was during the holiday.I went to his area with no intention to go to his house as i do not go to boyfriend's house without being invited.I went to use Uba ATM, unfortunately, my atm was stocked in the machine.I called his number severally to explain to him as i know he had a friend that worked in Uba but guy man didn't pick my calls.I used the opportunity to proceed to his house as i guess he might be sleeping. You know what, i met a lady... the rest story i am tired of typing but left him even after all his begging i refuse cos. God has spoken.

      2 I met a guy ,our dating was long distance , didn't know much about him but i prayed again.I had a dream, i was in his working place but behind the building was their lodge.I got there, guy packed plenty dirty plates for me to wash and while washing, some colleagues of his were also bringing more dirty plates for me to wash.During this process, a lady passed, and told me i quote "is this the guy you want to marry, do not, as you will regret it cos he is not a nice man"He tried to cover her mouth not to speak then i woke up.This character, started manifesting in reality then i friend-zone him.

      3 I met a fine cute guy, i was beginning to fall in-love then i prayed. I told God if this guy his not mine, separate us before i fall deeply in love.Guess what, i did not dream but guy man started avoiding me for no reason.I didn't call him to know why cos i know he is fine but was avoiding me.Yes God does answer prayers if you believe in your prayers.

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  12. "To hold and to cherish . . ."
    "IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH . . ."


    So all those things you ladies chant
    na for ya lips i de end?
    How many "mad" people on the street
    have you seen their brothers and sisters mad?

    Why is it that whenever husband and wife has issues
    the ladies want to shoot the baby out of the womb;
    baby do you anything?

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    Replies
    1. Reason is because the baby ties them to the man for life.

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    2. Anon 15:18 I beg to differ. If it was the woman who had this problem, some men will not wait for explanation but send her back to her parents and even refuse to be in the child's life. Like Cynhams cakes mentioned, a woman is tied to her children while culture and society frees a man. I have seen a man remarry cos his first marriage produced only sickle cell children as he and his first wife were AS. The woman was left to look after the 4 children (3ss and 1 carrier) while the man went to start a new life - this happened in the 80s when men still had conscience o!! So society has shaped us women to begin to think of our own convenience too cos men ain't loyal!!

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    3. @Anonymous 17:02
      Make you include all those you yarn for ya wedding vows
      You hear.
      Make women stop chanting wetin them no mean.
      Deceivers.

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    4. You are ignorant annon. Many people have mental illness. Even your friends. They take monthly injections or weekly doses of drug. De there...

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  13. It all mental I’ll esses are hereditary. Do his siblings or parents exhibit such traits? You were not specific about the behaviour he exhibited? Is he seeing things or hearing voices?

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  14. If this man wins Naija lottery for 50 million naira,
    you go make am "ex?"
    You go commit murder?
    You go abort?

    Selfish!
    You don't love that man, if you do you should help
    him find solution and not consider "killings".

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    Replies
    1. His parents couldn’t find him solution, it is now the woman that was deceived into all this mess that should start looking for solution especially now that she’s pregnant too. Nonesense talk and reference. Did he love her too or him and his family just looked for someone to put his burden on? How about answering that question first?

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    2. No wonder the President said Nigerian youths are lazy.So na Naija lottery you they reason as example, you cant say a good job or a well paid contract worth the amount you mentioned above.

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  15. Before you go through abortions and all that,kindly have a heart to heart talk with him.
    Having a mental condition doesn't mean he is a bad man, he probably didn't tell you because he was scared you wouldn't want him.

    Don't be harsh with your decisions, mental disorder isn't always hereditary...As long as he is on his meds constantly you might have nothing to worry about.

    Did anyone ever tell you that there is a perfect spouse out there, we are to make do with what God has given us...He gave him to you because he is sure that he has equipped you with the strength to deal with the challenges you might face stay st

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  16. Why bring the baby into your hurt?
    When you want/crave for a child tomorrow, you will write chronicles but you won't tell us that you are guilty of murder; will you?
    When one kills (or encourages the killing of; see Prov. 6:16-17) innocent children, the consequences are three. 1. You deny yourself the joy of having a home (remember the Hebrew midwives who spared babies against Pharaoh's advice to kill them; God rewarded them with families; Ex.1) 2. You risk "sudden death" in the hands of another fellow/accidents etc. remember Gen.9:6 and thirdly, you deny yourself eternal life! What a life! God isn't going to call you to glory if you do not repent. Jesus said; come to me all you that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest; that's Matt. 11:28. If you do not repent, you'd keep on laboring for the Serpent. But if you repent and make Jesus your Lord today and begin to read your scriptures; you'd find peace and the above three lots will not be yours. God bless you.

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  17. My ex sef get small kolo and his worthless family helped him hide it. Of course after a while it started showing and I quickly divorced him. Poster, you still get time for Chronicle? You better get a lawyer before someone hold your neck in your sleep

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    Replies
    1. hahahahaha na wa. That will be bad ooo if the man hold her neck while she is sleeping. Opari

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    2. I dey tell you, @ holding of neck!! Chim oo!! The chronicles this week have been so intense, I no even get advice. If I'm the poster's shoe, I dey pack out straight up and woe betide that cousin.

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  18. Poster you are the one with mental illness you don't know.
    You want to kill an innocent child because the father may or may not have mental illness.
    pls go and educate yourself, mental illness doesn't necessarily mean the person was once mad and was naked in market square.
    There are diff types of mental illness, I know someone brother back in school that had a nervous breakdown because he couldn't cope with medical school, there is depression etc.
    It can be concerning but so far you havnt noticed him being physically aggressive, isn't a narcissist, can hold down a job etc with correct meds and theraphy he can be normal.
    Divorce him if you like but don't kill that child.

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  19. You told us that you prayed to God to know if he is your husband
    did God tell you to go ahead; you did not tell us that?
    If he did, then that same God can heal him; can't he?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've heard this line a lot; "I told God about it?"
      And what did he say? *silence*

      Delete
  20. Please, mental illness is not death sentence. He should be taking medications. I actually blame his family members for not letting you know of his conditions. They intentionally kept it away from you just for him to have a family.
    Now that you know of his health condition, talk to his parents or cousin. Let them take him to the hospital and get him treated. They should monitor him till he is stable. If you can continue living with him,monitor him and make sure he ALWAYS take his drugs and attend clinical check up.
    If you can't, don't abort your baby. Not all mental illness is hereditary. His illness may be due to stress, anxiety, depression or past failure, and not hereditary.

    ReplyDelete
  21. poster you disgust me. It is this stigma that make people not to even seek medical help in Nigeria. What informed your "it is hereditary ". Yes he should have opened up to you about it and leave you to make your decision of whether to marry him or not. Stella is high time we start awareness that people with mental health can live normal lives while taking their drugs.it maybe hereditary for some families but you didn't mention it here and you concluded all mental health issues are hereditary. If the abortion will give you all the peace you deserve in life, it's your cross to carry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who says they should love normal love. Just dont deceive people about your health condition. I work in the hospital and I see them but dont deceive a spouse.

      Delete
  22. Stay with your horseman,why didn't you notice the signs of madness during the courtship? Or maybe he is broke, what you were seen from distance, is different from the really thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yea she just got married and noticed that the money is not
      like she thought, the man come begin dey mad.

      Delete
  23. Talking from expirience,my dad has mental illness before I was born, his friend poison his drink then, he spent four years at aro at abeokuta, after he's back that when I was conceived, I never for once misbehave and my daddy is perfectly doing fine up till now, tell me WIll I disown my dad simply because he has illness before I was born? Or I will blame my mum for giving birth to me? Never I love them both my prayer is God in his infinite mercy should bless me so that I will really take good care of them,i will be 32 this year and am a mother of 3 kids, poster please don't abort that innocent baby like I was innocent then too.



    Yes I purposely didn't go on anonymous

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You "purposely didn't go on anonymous" sic
      because you "are a mother of 3 kids"; meaning married.
      Nigerian ladies will never tell you about such family history if
      they are single.

      But it is not supposed to be so.

      Delete
    2. God bless you darling....may God Almighty prosper you .

      Delete
    3. God bless yu o beeolah, madam poster if you got a conviction to go ahead with this man, talk to him and settle stuff.
      Support him and ensure he takes his drugs well, get information on how to manage this sickness.
      Amd take the matter to God.
      Donot do what yu will later regret please.

      Delete
  24. So what was the purpose of your fasting and prayers? Now you want to throw all the caution in the wind and go and abort abi? So you didn't heard anything from god all these while ?
    Abeg carry your cross. Seems the man no owe cash.

    ReplyDelete
  25. The way you're so willing to abort your baby even shows that you don't have a good heart at all. You want to kill an innocent baby so easily yet you claim you prayed to God. Which God? Abeg smell out of here. Like someone asked above, if that guy plays bet9ja now and wins 50 million naira, will you still leave him? You obviously want to abort your baby because the guy doesn't have money. Mental illness is not the worst illness in life. Many Nigerian women are married to promiscuous men that gave them HIV. Some of them die young after living a life of suffering and sickness. So many celebrities abroad have suffered some form of mental illness which includes depression. They were hospitalized for it and even Maraiah Carey recently admitted that she was on antidepressants. Not everybody that has been admitted in a psychiatric hospital was once stark naked and roaming the streets. Some suffered spiritual curses and became schizophrenic but were arrested on time.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Almost every sickness on earth is linked to genetics and can be inherited except HIV. Diabetes, cancer,high blood pressure/stroke, etc. One of my patients is a stroke patient. If I tell you what the wife pass through in taking care of him, you will shudder. She told me that everyday the day breaks, she wishes that day will not break so that she won't have to pass through the daily stress of helping him take his bath, prepare for work, cook, take him to his place of work for him to sign him, go to her own place of work to sign in, take him back to sign out, then go to her own place of work to sign out. Before they come for therapy. The stress is killing her. So poster, there are so many sicknesses on earth and better pray that God will not humble you with one tomorrow to teach you never to look down on others. You have already accepted him. Let your baby live.

    ReplyDelete
  27. My darling,pls stay put in your marriage. God gave you " a go ahead"irrespective of his condition. God knew he has such condition, but gave "a go ahead"when you seek his face.I knew of a sister who pastor Adeboye prayed for and told her she will meet her partner on her way home,she met him truly and they got married, only to discover few month after wedding he his got mental issue.she stayed in the marriage and help her husband with his medical appointment.she has three kids now and you wouldn't know except you are told

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. do u know wat shes passing thru?
      xactly u wouldnt know xcept she tells u

      Delete
  28. Dear Poster, I am the anonymous that shared that my brother developed mental illness from medical school. As a result of this, I have taken time to school myself about mental health and I am acquainted with quite a few specialists.


    My advise is that you take your time to discover the cause of his own, if he has any triggers as well as if it is hereditary so you can make an informed decision.


    I don't think you should abort as the chances of your child having it even if its hereditary is very slim, start laying hands of your unborn baby and declaring God's word over his/her life.


    I know that mental illness is a valid ground for annulment of marriage under the law but I think you should educate yourself about this illness and your hubby's history with it before taking action.


    I have met several wonderful married people who have learnt how to manage the situation with their spouses and are having a good life. All the best dear.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I know a girl that was cursed by a prayer woman. She became mentally Ill but not like stark naked on the streets. She was also admitted to a psychiatric hospital for about 2 months but today, she has a good job and 2 very serious eligible suitors. Such cannot be inherited because it was caused by jazz so try and find out from him what caused his mental illness first. But even at that, its not wise to abort your baby because of this. One man I know got blind at age 52 due to glaucoma. Will his wife abandon him? Bad circumstances can happen to anybody at any time. You may leave him and end up with somebody that will suffer a worse disease. Though its not your portion sha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "cursed by prayer woman, . . .jazz"
      I come confuse.

      Delete
    2. Did Prophet Elisha not curse those little children that taunt him in the bible 2kings 2verse23 to 25.She might have done something to provoke the anger of the woman.

      Delete
  30. What I see in your chronicle is absolute selfishness. If he didn't exhibit any form of mental illness for the 3 years you knew him, why then are you in a haste to kill an innocent baby? It means he has been cured. Na wa ooo. Naija peepz no sabi love at all. A white woman will stick by you through thick and thin if she really loves you but here, love depends on how much money you have and your societal status. If that guy is the son of a governor now, I'm sure you won't bother about your unborn children. Even if he told you himself that he was mentally ill, you'll still want to die there. Naija girls sha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have you ever been with a white woman in your life before, to know how they behave??

      Delete
    2. The psychiatric dept of all hospitals in the abroad are filled with mental white women please feel free to take your pick and make her your wife. Just remember to sleep with one eye open.

      Delete
  31. Poster, the question is do you really love him as a person? Because I don't think you love the guy at all.

    ReplyDelete
  32. That was how a friend married an abroad husband. They had a baby. Few days after the lady was discharged from hospital husband cut the infant into two for disturbing his sleep. The babe ran. Police and others came into the picture. that was when she knew he had mental issues. long story short, marriage ended that night. Babe is back to naija. Madness no good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Say what? But mental illness differs from individuals

      Delete
    2. Hahahahahahaha. Sorry i had to laugh

      Delete
    3. Liar why didn't you use your blog id to type this your pathological lies as,usual are you scared of being called out again ? FYI pathological liars have mental problems too.

      Delete
  33. This is what happens when instead of doing pragmatic things In order to solve a problem you sit your ass down at home waiting for the supernatural to give you all the answers.
    Proper courtship would have enabled you discover this sooner.
    It’s either you continue with the marriage or end it. As for the pregnancy-as long as you will love the child irrespective of any faults and support it financially then have it if not be true to yourself and let no one emotionally blackmail you to have it.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Poster is your husband’s name Iyk?

    ReplyDelete
  35. poster go to God in prayers, the same God that gave you this man surely has the answer to this challenge

    ReplyDelete
  36. Poster, I wish you had stated how you realized that he had mental issues, what was the incident that alerted you to his illness?

    If someone is mentally ill I doubt such a person could have fully understood what a marriage is about. You do have grounds for an annulment, as he is not mentally, emotionally or spiritually equipped to fulfill the demands of a marriage due to his illness. Feel no guilt in divorcing him, when ppl marry they expect to marry their equals, he is not your equal. This is no fault of his own, illness can happen to anyone. If he has already had an episode then will there be more episodes? The average person is completely incapable of taking care of a mentally ill person, especially if the level of mental illness is extreme and requires institutionalization. As a woman, you will be made to feel guilty for leaving, as we are the beasts of burden on this planet and expected to bare every weight with a smiling face. As for aborting the child you will need to first speak with a psychiatrist. Please find out what your husband was diagnosed with and then you will know if it is hereditary or not, not all mental illness are hereditary, some ppl have gone mental from drugs, this is not hereditary. Please get all the information you can on your husband's condition before you make such a decision with the unborn. If you do choose to abort, do not share the info with any of his family members, keep it to yourself.

    Don't beat up yourself for remaining a virgin until marriage, you stood by your values and that is commendable. Virginity is not a gift that you get a reward for, it's simply a belief system that you choose to live by. Yes, it is heartbreaking that you did not get your dream husband, but perhaps you were meant to pass through his life to give him the chance of being loved, to give him the chance to having a life of his own and having a family of his own, if even for a short time. God perhaps did not answer your prayers, but answered your husband or his mother's prayers through you.

    Do not do anything you will live to regret or criminal with the cousin. Nothing wrong in demanding some answers, but make sure you leave the family in peace, just as you entered into it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. May God bless you for this anon 01:41. You just mirrored my thoughts. You couldn’t have stated it better.

      Delete

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