Would it OK to say that70 percent of Marriages are crashing all over the World? Would it be OK to ask if you are in a good place in your marriage and can share the things you do that make it work?
Are you in a bad place in your Marriage and know the mistakes you made but feel/know it is too late to retrace your steps?
Ca you share the good tips to copy if we want and the bad tips to avoids if we can...
We all know that one mans meat can be another mans 'poison' but sharing stories and experiences is also good....
Having a good marriage that deserves an award? tell us!
Going through a bad marriage that is divorce headed? tell us what went wrong and the part you played in crashing it...
Am i understood?
Lets gist!
yes, I am in a beautiful marriage. We were told by even "pastors" before we married that 'there will always be quarrels in a marriage... we should try our best to manage them well without inviting third parties etc."
ReplyDeleteMany years down the line and with kids, we always ask ourselves, where are those quarrels?
There is not tips apart from living the life that Jesus taught. We work on ourselves; study the bible together, pray and fast together on a regular basis.
I am in a great place in my marriage
DeleteMy major advice is marry someone with a conscience and one that listens.
We got married very young so even through the hard times we had each other.
We have a great partnership
We plan everything together
He has made this thing called marriage very easy.
God bless him for me amen
Push up (original)
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰I can't even type.
DeleteDon't even know where to start.
DeleteWe're following closely the footsteps of the people before us because they got many things right and we're enjoying it.
My parents warming up for their 60th wedding anniversary.
My parents in-law heading to 58th wedding anniversary.
One thing is a manure to the foundation, my hubby is a praying man.
His Bible and daily guide in one hand.
His Ancient and Modern Hymn book on the right hand.
End of tension.
Take your marriages off social media and stop copying the fake lives and quotes that these so called celebs post. Those are marriage wrecking behaviors. As you can see, their marriages are crashing at an alarming rate.
ReplyDeleteYou are on point
DeleteI never for once posted my marriage online but it still crashed. Marriage that will crash will do so.
DeleteMy marriage is in a good place. I wish more marriages will have such understanding respectfully.
Delete@Ebony
DeleteGood to know and may it remain so in Jesus name. I just watched a clip by the winlos on youtube. If someone shows you a text message and pictures with a child and your husband, will you still allow your marriage to be in a good place or will you flare up and raze the home?
@15:46
DeleteSocial media is not the only thing that crash marriages. But it is one very important factor
You're seeing social media as the cause, have you heard of evil family altars?
DeleteMany people are suffering because of faulty foundation, you are seeing technology. Hmmm.
Ebony...enjoy. God got you.
You people are getting his wrong, social media is one of the causes, not the only cause. Even the devotion to social media can make a spouse detest the other.
DeleteI’m at a good place in My marriage.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby is so intentional about having a good marriage, and it’s well reciprocated. I’m blessed. I believe marriage is all about two people that put in the work to bring the bes versions of themselves into the relationship. Been married for 7yrs. My hubby is the definition of reliable and accountable. I will choose him over and over again.
Blessing will forever locate and dine with ur home
DeleteThat is the key word,being Intentional. Desiring to make it work. That is what should drive parties in a union. Unfortunately I was the only Intentional party in mine so I took a walk Biko. If I would give marriage another shot, I would most definitely not marry for love anymore.i will be sure he loves me more and he is intentional about me being a part of his life.
DeleteYou’re one of the lucky ones. Enjoy ma’am
DeleteNice one
DeleteEveryone has his or her own marital principles that either make or mar their marital life.
ReplyDeleteThe principles used by Mr A that makes his marriage worthwhile can be used by Mr B and still make Me B's marriage a pit of hell.
Like myself, I do things that makes mine work well for me..e.g
*Appreciating my wife when necessary
*Engaging myself in house chores because I know she is my help mate and not a slave.
*Correcting her with love and passion
*making life easy for her by neglecting my ego as a man.
*Doing things together and also putting her into consideration in anything I do or about to do.
I can't start typing all but what I know is, everyone has his or her own way of making things work for them.
No one is perfect and no marriage is 100percent perfect but let's stop comparing our home or partner with anyone if you want peace.
Nice one
DeleteEvery woman prays for a man like you.
DeleteWow! Pinky your home is blessed. It shall be well with you and your family. God please give me a man that will love me and not fake love. Amen
DeleteGod continue to bless your home Pinky.
DeleteMy celebrity sister's marriage crashed more than 5 years ago. She is still posting lovey dovey pictures on the internet and the gullible ladies are taping and clapping.
ReplyDeleteShe might be mentally ill.
DeleteIts sad dat she cant move on,stil living in her past
@15:02
DeleteShe is not mentally ill, she is not in anyway planning to return to the guy, even if he comes. She is simply living the "nigerian celebrity life"
19:03 she’s living the way society approves
DeleteI ain’t mad at her
I ain't mad at her either, but I won't live my life to earn approval from humans. I will live my life for God's approval.
DeleteMarried people please come over and share some tips. I want to have a happy home when the right man finally finds me
ReplyDeleteI have a beautiful marriage. It's almost 12 years and counting being married to my man, and it gets sweeter by the day.
DeleteLike every marriage, issues come up once in a while but we have deliberately chosen to see these issues, not as stumbling blocks but, as stepping stones/building blocks to becoming all that God brought us together to be because from the onset the onset we had the mindset that God paired us up for a purpose.
Not only are in we intentional in nurturing our marriage and maintaining our love flow (through being intentional about communication, spending an alone time together, paying compliments to each other, romance, praying together and for each other and initiating great sex), we put God first because we figured even before we got married that we can't do marriage on our own strength and in our own terms. God created it, so He is the best Person to help us know how best to make it work.
Proverbs 4:12b says, “And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
God is the third Person in the threefold cord. The husband+the wife+God. Give God His place in your marriage. Treat your spouse the way He asked us tp and you will see a change.
I speak as a witness to this truth. Marriage is beautiful and it’s more beautiful with God at the centre of it. You can't run marriage successfully on your own strength or in your own terms. If your marriage will work, please keep in my mind you have your role to play and God has His role to play. God is indispensable.
Like the poster above said, I kept reading that the first few months of marriage are the toughest and there will always be quarrels but till today, I can boldly say, almost three years into my marriage I am yet to see such quarrel. Yes, some people will say, wait till u are 5 years into the marriage, then wait till u are 10 years but I can still say with all certainty, 5 years or 10 years from now, I will still not see such quarrel.
ReplyDeleteYou see, I married a good man, a very good man, a gentle, kind, decent, honest no wahala man and I know his type doesn't come easy so for every dose of love, respect, equality, kindness etc he shows me, I double it and return it to him.
We attend different churches yet my Nigerian husband has no issues with this. He has never for one day asked me to leave my church for his. You will wonder why I'm including this but u should know this is an example of something that can cause quarrels in marriage, if he asks me to leave. I could leave the church and join his and it could make me resent him for that, I could also choose to not listen to him and he would detest me for that and then, there would be constant issues.
The issue is also with us having a kid. I always wondered if it would be an issue deciding which church she should attend as my husband attends Anglican and I redeem but of course, I married the most unproblematic man in the word who of course suggested the child should go with me. We dedicated the child in my church and to balance the equation, I suggested she gets baptised in his church which we did.
This is just one of the examples of how this guy makes life so so easy for me and by extension, for him as well.
In this life ehn, just pray to marry a good person, a person that understands that life is too hard already and won't want to ever be a reason to make life even harder for someone else.
Bless the day, I asked for airtime on that WhatsApp group sha. I love this guy to stupor. ❤️
Nice one
Delete1000 likes 👌
Beautiful,I couldn't stop smiling
DeleteSee me smiling at "bless the day I asked for that airtime"
DeleteVery nice one, indeed. Remain blessed.
Delete🥰🥰🥰🥰
DeleteI don’t know any man that wants to be the one taking the baby to his own church
DeleteAwwwwww. Beautiful....
DeleteAnon 17:52, really? That's all you got from the writeup?
Eka, please keep saying it, don't stop preaching it, loud it so those loosing hope can know it that a perfect marriage with zero tension, zero quarrel is not only possible but very very possible. They keep saying "there will be ups and downs, be prepared to forgive and tolerate, quarrels will always come but make sure you settle". I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT AS A NORM. I am capable of giving love, peace, sweetness, kindness, understanding, why then should I expect it to be difficult for him? Be it 3months, 3years, 30years, it is possible to have absolute tranquility if you know how to attract it. I read Faith Oyedepo's books while single and my hope for such perfect marriage moved from fantasy to calling it to show up. Go read 'the secret' to learn to attract what you desire and stop normalising wickedness. People with good marriages shouldn't be bullied to silence.
DeleteCongratulations Sis. Love you loads, Eka.
Anon 17:52 my father is such a man. I’m inky my mum goes to a different church. The rest of us shouldn’t be found missing in his church
DeleteGod bless your home.
Delete19:15 you are not a baby or toddler. You can walk and manage yourself
DeleteDon't discuss your marriage with your friends o, especially the positive stories. You can discuss once in a while, but telling them about it all the time is a no for me.
ReplyDeleteEka, I am curious as to which Church does your child attend on Sundays? Does your husband drop you off at your Church and then goes to his or do you two alternate attendance at each others Church?
ReplyDeleteOur car never arrive na. On Sundays, while he is still sleeping, I wake up and prepare my kid and I for church and leave while he is still sleeping sef. My church starts earlier. Then he wakes up and prepare for his church and go.
DeleteNow, we already discussed the issue of how we go when the car arrives. He already says I can go to church with the car and he will take the metro but I refused because what's the essence of car If u can't drive to church. So I said he will just leave earlier than normal, drop us off, wait a bit in my church and then leave for his church when it's time.
We don't alternate. Sometimes when we have like a family program or couples program, I invite him and he attends and maybe once or twice a year, I follow him to church just for following sake (I no like Anglican chá chá)
You are blessed. I love your family. Please continue to love your husband. Husband materials dey sacars.
DeleteAh ah Eka Joy, what's wrong with Anglican Church?
DeleteRME!
Stop kwa that thing.
Too boring jare especially the oyibo own. Can't give up praise and worship for anything
DeleteTry to give each other space, support each other, carefully listen to your partner too. Personally, I don't enjoy sharing stuff about my family online but whatever works for you. Don't correct your spouse publicly or among friends or family. Keep your corrections till you get back home.
ReplyDeleteEke Joy I believe you in the church gist. It is my gist as well. No strength to type suffice it to say "marry a willing partner ready to intentionally work the marriage with you Simple! Marriage is easy mehn nothing tough at all. It becomes tough when one party is selfish etc. Been married for 15 years
ReplyDeleteWorse mistake was marrying a man that loves gossip, any small quarrel at home, he will carry it out to his female friends. This is the man that said that he hates third party
ReplyDeleteFinally divorced him when I couldn't take it anymore
Hmmm,As a man if I see you circled around females gisting what I no know...It's a NO for me.
DeleteA man that likes the company of females??? Godforbid
DeleteIf they give awards for great unions, I think mine should be among 'em. Not because I'm the best partner but because my husband brings out the absolute best in me. Me that's overly emotional about everything... I don't know how he just knows what to do or say when I'm having my "crisis"...Let's not even talk about the sex🙈 Good sex is very vital in this life🤤
ReplyDeleteMarriage is very, very sweet. Sometimes I wish I had gotten married sooner but no wahala. I don't want to ever live my life without this man. And if I come back again, I'll marry him over and over and over againðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
He still thinks he loves me more😂😂😂. Fidel don love up
Awww so happy for you dear
DeleteAwww..I love you💕
DeleteYou people are making marriage to hungry me nau nau oo 🥰🥰
DeleteLovely testimony
DeleteYou too work on your emotional strength by reading about Emotional Intelligence and Love Languages
God bless you Fidel.🥰
DeleteGod bless your home Fidel
DeleteThe statement made earlier about being intentional is the truth. That and being determined. I have my issues...I can be irritable and a bit of an introvert but then I am good with the kids and home...my wife can be reckless and extroverted but she tries. You need to look beyond yourselves and be deliberate on keeping a balance. Issues will pop up but you have to work towards a compromise. Years down the line we have a system that works and the home is happy and blessed with kids. The sex is still a good or even better. That 'egusi soup' statement is total balderdash. The Orgasms... mind-blowing.
ReplyDeleteSex can be said to be like good wine, it gets better with age.
70% of marriages are rather doing so well, not what's up there.
How can you work in a marriage that the man went behind your back and got a baby thru surrogacy. Just woke up one morning to tell me to get ready to travel to ph that the baby is due for delivery.Weve been ttc after our first child who is 10. The stupid man doesn't even know that his sperm can't fertilize an egg,I no this cos our doc confided in me and told me that he can get another sperm to fertilize my egg without my hubby knowing that the sperm isn't his. I didn't agree but he foolishly went behind me and gave his weak sperm and they flush it in the toilet and gave him another person baby after collecting millions from him.
ReplyDeleteThe thing about marriage is to be INTENTIONAL about it. Nothing else works except 2 minds that respectfully agree to make it work and consciously eliminate factors that will make it crash.
ReplyDeleteNow I give a brief. I have been married for 9 years and sadly have not been the best wife. I have asked for divorce severally and ironically I am always the one at fault. Hell I have cheated. My husband found out and still worked towards his marriage working. We operate an open relationship and guess what I can boldly say his never cheated. I have never been the one to stick with one man. He knows and still wants it to be work regardless. Making sure the kids future and our future together. His invested alot. Money and emotions. Given me the kind of life every woman dreams of. I will share my story some day.
Now. I am also making conscious effort to make this work. It's really hard for me. But I am letting go and I am honest about it. He on the other hand just wants his Family to work no matter what and his extremely intentional about it. His paid for counselling for me alone. He has spoken to my family not to criticize me but correct me lovingly. Not a soul in his family nor his friends know the real me. Even my family do not know I had an affair. Everyone that knows my husband prays to have a man like him and those with daughters wish for their daughter to me someone's like him. It's funny how God gave me a rare gem and I take it for granted.
On my part. I will continue to work on myself and I pray God gives me the strength. Marriage works people. Just be with the right person.
This place where I am right now is my happy place and I can't trade it for anything in this world. Sometimes, I always thank God my ex behaved the way he did cos he would have made me missed my friend, amebo partner and my Intentional man. Though, I got married not quite long and I'm still waiting for that "early marriage brouhaha" I always hear people say, but with the looks of things, e be like I go wait tire oo🤦♀️. I thank God always for pairing us together. We both are not perfect but we are a work in progress.
ReplyDeleteI love this M of a man dearly.
I see marriage as an isosceles triangle, where the base angles(husband and wife) are equal(in oneness, in the fear of God, etc), while the third angle(God), is given His special place at the centre of the home. Every other thing follows.
ReplyDeleteThere is no single good or bad recipe in marriage because personalities differ, change is constant and experiences will either make or mar you. Marriage is a learning experience. What you learn is what you observe. What you observe depends on you. Marriage is an institution based on faith, hope, trust and love. Where one is lacking, priorities become misplaced.
ReplyDeleteMy marriage is almost 15 years. One mistake I made was being too trusting. I found out around this time last year that my husband was sleeping with a lady he met as a consultant for a business we were venturing into. She became friends with me. We vacationed with her and her kids and they were fucking under my nose. I decided to snoop on his chats one night and everything changed for me. I took off my rose-colored glasses and saw things for what they are. I screen grabbed all the nude pictures and messages. Woke mr man up and bursted the casala. I have not said a word to the lady till today. She sent me a long apology but i never replied. She has come to me in my dreams begging for my forgiveness. My husband is doing everything possible to work himself into my grace again. We are trying to work on our marriage but sometimes it still hurts so bad. I don't
ReplyDeletet know what to do.
Pls forgive him and though the devil who is the accuser would always find a way to bring it up again. So forgive him genuinely God can pick the both of you up again in this journey. Put the devil to shame but let your husband know this can and will never ever happen again.
DeleteBeautiful stories. Thank God all the married BVs are enjoying their marriages
ReplyDeleteMs Sapphire how much is the SECRET I would like to read it
ReplyDeleteDownload it na. Or you're like my hubs that only reads hardcopy?
DeleteCheck b-ok.africa
Wonderful testimonies all around. May God bless all marriages and heal those who are hurting.
ReplyDeleteMaking the right choice of who to marry is the best recipe for a good marriage. Don’t be desperate to marry, wait till you find the right life partner to do life with, if you don’t find one. Please don’t marry.
ReplyDeleteGet matured before you decide to settle down in marriage. Know yourself, what you can take and what you can’t. Choose wisely or stay single. Marriage no be beans o
ReplyDelete