Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Blog Visitor Laments ''My Husband Abuses Me Sexually''

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Friday, July 05, 2013

Blog Visitor Laments ''My Husband Abuses Me Sexually''

                            PLEASE BLOG VISITOR YOUR WISE COUNSEL IS NEEDED

Thank God for using u to create this forum.Reading Ms k's diary n pple's DV encounters has consoled me and given me this courage to speak out.I dnt ve friends cos my hubby doesn't encourage it feels they will tell me what to do.I started confiding in my mum lately cos I developed BP n she was worried what could have caused it n I had to open up τ̲̅ȍ  her on what I have been passing thru 4 like 9yrs now.        


   Am 29 n ma hubby is 41 n we ve bin married 4 9yrs with 3kids.4 those years he has beaten me like 3 times bt his verbal,emotional n sexual abuse is more like been beaten.initially I was scared of him cos his anger was like an attack τ̲̅ȍ  A̷̷̴̐ point that I was always struggling τ̲̅ȍ  please him.He treats me like A̷̷̴̐ housemaid instead of A̷̷̴̐ wife n I dare nt refuse him if he wants sex cos in his culture A̷̷̴̐ woman is nt supposed τ̲̅ȍ  refuse her husband sex cos he paid her dowry n if she does he will neva touch her till she appeases him which smtimes involves elders frm the family.so with that in mind I neva refused n if I gv excuse of having Stomachache inorder τ̲̅ȍ  avoid,him he will nt talk τ̲̅ȍ me 4 A̷̷̴̐ week n he will make sure that those times am miserable.any little misunderstanding we ve he will tell me the history of my family.


how am supposed τ̲̅ȍ  be grateful he married me if not I will be rottening in my fathers house by now.my aunties married late like in their late 30's,sme early 40's while  sme ve given marriage A̷̷̴̐ shot n gave up.bt I wasn't even in A̷̷̴̐ hurry τ̲̅ȍ  get married cos I wanted τ̲̅ȍ get an education hv A̷̷̴̐ job b4 doin so.Bt I was 17 wen I met my hubby n he was 28 n A̷̷̴̐ corper at that time.the relationship was jst platonic cos thr was no Canal knowledge of each other .

he was serving n was also into building contracts n was handling A̷̷̴̐ project for my aunt that was how we met.He proposed 3yrs later n I felt I had known him all my life n being my first I didn't need anyone τ̲̅ȍ  tell me he was right for me.                              


As the yrs wnt by the union turned from being enjoyed τ̲̅ȍ  being endured.The cheating was unbearable n the worst part of it he tells me his sexcapades like am A̷̷̴̐ friend.if I manage τ̲̅ȍ  ve A̷̷̴̐ friend he ends up sleeping with them τ̲̅ȍ  show me am better off without them.Things went Bad that he stopped caring for my needs,how I felt......he kind of starting moulding me the way he wants n I kind of started doin all τ̲̅ȍ  please him while I was on my own metamorphosing into what I was nt jst τ̲̅ȍ  please him.people whr seeing the changes n was complaining bt I felt they whr interfering cos τ̲̅ȍ  me I had peace.


I went frm weaves τ̲̅ȍ kehinde young-Harry cos that was his style of hw A̷̷̴̐ wife n African woman shld look like.I had τ̲̅ȍ  wash the car,iron his clothes n make sure breakfast or dinner is served b4 7am n 7pm respectively.Along the line his younger brother came τ̲̅ȍ  live with us n life became more unbearable.


The brother became A̷̷̴̐ bone of contention adding τ̲̅ȍ  what I had bin goin thru.He felt it was his brother's place so he had same right.I forgot τ̲̅ȍ  mention my hubby is from the middle-belt n am from the east.my nt understanding the customs according τ̲̅ȍ  them also became A̷̷̴̐ struggle.τ̲̅ȍ  cut the long story short I finally enterd the university n am in my 400level.I had A̷̷̴̐ diploma though bt τ̲̅ȍ me Ȋ̝̊̅† wasn't enough n I also felt if I had τ̲̅ȍ  leave the marriage I needed A̷̷̴̐ back up.And what prompted my decision after all dis years τ̲̅ȍ  move on with my life was last year he had A̷̷̴̐ contract in one of the states n at that point I was pregnant almost sme months due.Even at that point I never failed in my duties as A̷̷̴̐ wife.

Bt at the end of the 4mnths contract another lady was pregnant for him.God in his infinite mercies saw me through the whole ordeal cos after I had my baby I bleed 4 like 3months b4 I recovered.coming out from that another shocker was waiting for me.

my 18yrs old cousin who was staying with me was already sleeping with him.He denied Ȋ̝̊̅† all n claimed the girl had bin trying τ̲̅ȍ  seduce him bt she said he forced her into sleeping with him or no furthering of her education. 
      Eve sang"Love is blind bt Ȋ̝̊̅† can take over your mind"bt mine changed who ï was,Ȋ̝̊̅† drowned me.I tried keeping A̷̷̴̐ diary bt mine was read in front of the church elders who condemned the act of keeping A̷̷̴̐ diary by A̷̷̴̐ wife as against the marriage institution says God frowns at Ȋ̝̊̅† cos we re one body n nt supposed τ̲̅ȍ  keep such grudges.Guess they whr blinded by his generosity.outside he is percieved as good,generous n kind hearted man.Nobody will ever biliv me if they heard the other part of his life or what I ve bin thru with him.

He takes care of his kids n family well bt me I always hear"u re A̷̷̴̐ nobody"u can't do without me"No man wȊ̝̊̅ℓℓ look at u after 3kids"u shld be grateful I married u if nt u for Dεγ Dεγ look 4 husband men for don fuck u tire".these days when he starts I help him complete the rest cos Ȋ̝̊̅† has become A̷̷̴̐ norm.someone told me that if he is taking care of the kids I shld jst endure all I ve been thru n stay since I will soon be out of school,get A̷̷̴̐ job n start taking care of my needs.Another said I jst also have an affair τ̲̅ȍ  pay him back bt I neva considered that as an option.                   

  My question now is getting out of school n having A̷̷̴̐ job is Ȋ̝̊̅† enough reason τ̲̅ȍ  stay considering all I have been through.my mum thinks its beta than τ̲̅ȍ  start taking anti-retro viral drugs at an early age.what do your readers think?                                      
     Thank u Stella for this opportunity τ̲̅ȍ  use your blog τ̲̅ȍ  seek advice from your readers n Ƭћǟπƙs for agreeing τ̲̅ȍ  publish this am utmost grateful.''




**WOOOW..this is serious!


76 comments:

  1. Women what we go through in the name of marriage is unexplainable,my sister am almost in the same shoe as you,so I will wait for comment.

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    1. Why do Nigerian wives endure so much crap just to stay married??? Marriage is NOT a do or die affair! Take your kids and move on while u're still alive and please do a comphrensive test to be sure u're you have no infections. Talking bout praying to God, heaven helps those who help themselves!

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    2. We women too need to work on our attitude ,I was having same problems I've been married for fourteen years now but for nine years earlier it was hell on earth until one major crisis dat made me rethink my attitude, I realised I was defiant and hated any form of authority, I had to totally humble myself and things have changed, dat we r still married and peacefully is shocking, almost all men cheat just for fun,keep away female visitors and househelps and hold home,abi you want the one outside to come and take over, you end up confused with all these advise, pls read proverbs 31

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    3. This is just....I am so angry..OK let me put this in a better way.. Marriage is to be enjoyed not endured OK? This is why I tell women to never rely solely on a man! Women can do so much, they don't even know. Please lady, empower yourself, you own your life, not your husband. Get a job and leave if you can't cope, this man is very insecure, this is why he is putting you down, but trust me you can do better than him, get a job!!!

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    4. Even Bimbo Odukoya(God rest her soul)sed it, if ur husband is abusing u(in any form) pray 4 himm quite alryt, bt do it wen u r out of d house! Move out b4 u die! Ur life is mre important. Think of ur kids! U r no good 2 dem if u r dead!

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  2. Lord av mercy, Sistergirl...let me scream it out loud RUN FOR YOUR LIFE BEFORE YOU END UP 6FEET. don't listen to no pastor, friends, or family that will advised you to stay, because those are the people that will preach and attend your funeral.
    And your "HUSBEAST" go marry another person, and life continues..

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  3. People have seen things in this life. I dont even know where to begin!
    My sister please, ndi igbo si Onye we ndu, nwe onu. If you have life, you can still talk. God has been kind to you and kept you all these years. Please keep yourself for your children oh nne. That man clearly needs prayers but you can do that from afar. AIDS is real! Please start putting plans in place for your exit, money aside, even if it means quietly sourcing money from your family members to start a business, do so. START NOW! What is the guarantee that you will get a job soon after you graduate from school. Find something you are gifted in and start. I am christian and I will advise as Proverbs 16 advises:

    The preparations of the heart belong to man,
    But the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.
    All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes,
    But the Lord weighs the spirits.
    Commit your works to the Lord,
    And your thoughts will be established.
    The Lord has made all for Himself,
    Yes, even the wicked for the day of doom.
    Everyone proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord;
    Though they join forces,[a] none will go unpunished.
    In mercy and truth
    Atonement is provided for iniquity;
    And by the fear of the Lord one departs from evil.
    When a man’s ways please the Lord,
    He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.
    Better is a little with righteousness,
    Than vast revenues without justice.
    A man’s heart plans his way,
    But the Lord directs his step

    I am sure you can pick out the relevant verses here for you. Commit all your plans before you embark on them. Go out there and start networking with people; start meeting new people, establishing contacts. I hope you have never believed all the nonsense he has said to you concerning who you are. He is just a pathetic fellow with low self-esteem seeking to bring you down. You are better than all that rubbish. You are a beautiful 29 year old woman. Start dressing well, eating well, (I rebuke BP from your life in Jesus name), let him start to see changes in your confidence. You do not have to be rude or disrespectful, but start to carry yourself shoulder and head high. Look in the mirror everyday and speak/prophecy good into your life because this is a battle you have won already - ah ah what did Jesus die on the cross for again.
    Establish yourself and then find your way out prayerfully. I would not ask you to go to your church because clearly they have issues in their own lives too. See if you can contact some of these programs that help women in abusive relationships. Your God (not church) will help you out. God will direct you to the appropriate men/women He has appointed to be your helpers, you will not fall into the wrong hands.
    I hope i have helped in some way, but please keep us updated. START YOUR PLANS TODAY!!!! AIDS is real and as you said he is from the middle belt (well let's just keep stereotypes out of this) but once upon a time, STATs collated on Nigeria showed a high incidence of STI's (sexually transmitted infections) from that part. Help yourself and help your children. You can be loving and praying for the man from AFAR - a point of safety and health as the Spirit leads you
    God bless

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    Replies
    1. Oh u ve said it all!! God bless u real good!

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    2. God bless u dear for ur beautiful advice

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  4. HUM
    coment
    loading.......

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  5. Ooooops!!dis 1 pass me.....

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  6. first of al,your hubby is a bastard,chill abit longer dear to finish your education,get a job and leave the murra fckr,as for that your cousn,wen nobody dey house with una eh,beat am blue black den send her parking,worra bitch

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  7. I cannot begin to describe the anguish I feel reading this!
    Stop having kids immediately, I mean don't have anymore.
    Is there a way for you to be financially independant, are you able to get a job somewhere. And what's the sex of your children, if you have girls when you leave you must not leave them with him. He could potentially abuse them sexually.
    I'd suggest to move out, go back home. It's definitely not worth it.
    Get your thoughts together, get a lawayer so you will be able to fight for custody of your kids if he tries any tricks.
    But get out. Enough is enough.
    I hope you find your way...

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    Replies
    1. Its not easy to move,most marriages

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  8. Ask her to contact me on +447767975500. We might be able to help her.

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  9. real serious

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  10. My sista it is well. First he won't allow u work afta sch cos he's insecured. I was in a similar relationship(marriage) for 8yrs I was battered and treatedas a nobody bt one dayi got d secret, treat him wit so much resrespect and @ d same time turned to God (prayer is d key), it really worked wonders, I took decisions like taking care of my self, stepping up my game by workiing, involving in church activities, attending friends partiesandstill playing d role of. Responsible wife n moda, I rem d night he came to my room knelt down n apologised 4 all his wrong doings, I accepepted his apology and made him c wat needs to b done/put right in d relationship. My sista I'm happy 2day.

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    1. Best Advice so far

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    2. This is what I have been doing too so far but hubby comes back to appologise and as soon as I let down my guard by being too friendly with him,he starts all over again!so right now,am just calm and watching what next he has up his sleeves,though I have started my check out plans

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    3. @ anonymous 6:44pm 4 d sake ur husband changed is nt a quarrantee dt hers will change what worked 4u might nt work 4 her. So my candid advice is 4 her 2 start makin serious plans of movin out cos what if she dies in d process of pleasin him den u'll start commenting RIP 2 her GOD FORBID

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    4. @anonymous 5:29pm d fact dt doin all d tins u mentioned worked 4u is nt a guarantee dt it will work 4 her.let's nt wait 4 her 2 die dere n u'll comment RIP GOD FORBID b4 tellin her d truth. My dear start makin plans on her 2 leave dt man n d sorry excuse of marriage buh mk sure u complete ur education n pls don't leave ur kids wit him. D Lord is ur strength. GOD BLESS U

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  11. Run,run,and run for your dear life,no more no less.I was once a victim years back,i left the marriage in 1985 after a horrible 4 years and 7 months of hell and uptil today iam still not ok. God has been faithful because my children are very supportive

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  12. *very deep sigh*

    I don't even know where to begin from.

    Women should try as much as possible to be independent of any man.

    Love is never enough. there are some good men that treat their wives like queens while some others like a slave.

    some are lucky, others are not.

    the unlucky ones get trapped cos the man makes their life a living hell knowing fully well she has nothing or no anywhere.

    If you are financially strong, you can wake up one morning and say enough is enough.

    I am not jumping into the divorce option but even the bible permits in the case of adultery.

    Now for a man who has ripped you off every dignity u have just because u love him? c'mon!

    what the freaking hell is
    "u shld be grateful I married u if not u for dey look for husband; men for don fuck u tire"

    what the f**k is that???

    that man is such a fucking retard and an asshole (no apologies)

    A man who cant treat a woman with respect not to talk of his wife is an ass.

    my dear, hurry with ur education, be independent and take it from there.

    if he turns a new leaf. Thank God. He doesn't , waka abeg!

    #I jus hate it when a man thinks he is ur god.

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    Replies
    1. Blog lord am so in love with you #nohomo# lol your comments on issues shows how mature n responsible you are keep it up dear.


      Sleek chic

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  13. na wa oo. SIster pray for ur hubby..

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    1. Why do pple always say that? Pray!!! Prayer is good but please give her another advice. Should she stay and be tormented or should she leave with her life and start over? A lot of us are afraid of change. We fear what we don't know and prefer to continue to suffer. Sister, only you can decide what you want and need. Do u want to be live for your children or .......
      Do what your mind tells you to do.

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    2. Wats dis whole issue wit pray. Let's try n b realistic if she has 2 pray 4 him let it b frm afar.

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  14. My dear runnnnn.HIV is real. I hv a friend who is married to a yoruba guy,d guy kips different gals,he goes to all d social networks(Facebook, twitter,Skype,Badoo) searching for gals to sleep wit .when d lady found out,she refused him sex for 9months.d guy was always ill,coughing and all,she later found out d guy was HIV positive.pls Dnt get disease cos of another persons stupidity.she had to leave d guy.she left wit her 3 Sons.

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  15. these kinda stories jes dey kill me mehn... E be like say ar no go read any stories like this again. U will fink u have seen d worst, and anoda one wey worse pass dat worst go surface... God !, this is one sick story. May God help u o in whatever decision u decide to take.

    1) young gurls, pls knw dat early marriage most times(and i mean most times) end up very terribly.. So do not rush into tins u do not yet understand.... Dis story dey pain me reach heart men... No joke

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  16. But what exactly is happening people? This is very serious. Why do churches support men committing adultery? Why don't they protect the woman and give appropriate counseling. You always think you've heard it all, till you hear stories like this. My dear, take it easy and start planning your exit! This guy does not want a wife but a slave. Besides why is your family not confronting him? Even if you are not as affluent as him........so what? Once you get your degree, leave the bastard! And start afresh. May God be with you. Please don't forget to pray. Even when you are overwhelmed with all this, with your tears alone, God would fight for you. Start praying at 12midnight for directions from God. God bless you dear *e-hugs*

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  17. You cannot start taking ART if you're not sure of your status yet. Go for HIV test and then take it from there. You need counselling, look for project alert and talk to them. If you can hang on till you finish school and get a job great, if not save your life now and leave.

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  18. The best thing is to move out of there, but if you think you can manage till you finish your degree since you said he doesn't really beat you oo,but for the sake of happiness and long life it's better you act fast o

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  19. Please the person that posted this write up should leave this Devil , am 30 and unmarried, the few that asked for my hands in marriage,i noticed signs of trouble in them and I refused yes no one is perfect but I see signs, i know the bad ones that will act this way

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  20. STELLA ARE THESE STORIES REALLY TRUE OR MADE UP?
    DO PEOPLE SUFFER THIS MUCH IN MARRIAGE ?
    AM REALLY CONFUSED

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    1. I'm sorry but are you seriously asking such a pathetic question? You think a grown up sane woman would wake up one morning and say " oh today I will "make up" a DV/Abuse story". If you haven't got a meaningful comment I suggest you STFU!!!

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    2. Believe me, its true and in some cases worse. For most women, its just too shameful to tell.

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  21. Am telling you it's really scary. When I read these stories am amazed and dazed because I know dat these women didn't know what they were getting into when they got married. I am 24 dating a 36 year old guy. He treats me sooo well and I always come first with him. Sometimes I wonder will he always be like dis? Will he change? Marriage is just scary. I pray that God will give me the man dat I'll be the bone of his bone and d flesh of his flesh. I so much believe in marriage and I pray dat mine will be among d good ones. Dear Poster na person wey dey alive dey marry o, nobody has d right to dehumanise you like dat. It might seem like u won't survive wen u leave him but from all d DV posts and comments I've seen leaving is not easy @ first but with time doors will open for you. D Lord is Ur strength.

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  22. My sista, if u get heart mk u grind bottle very smooth den de put am 4 e fud (pap/soup) everyday, e go perforate e intestine, der's no remedy, d guy go die, bt make sure say na ur child b next of kin oh. D bastard nor deserve to live.

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  23. I was married to my beloved husband and we loved and cherished ourselves for good 2years and every thing was going on smoothly but april 5, 2013 we both had misunderstanding and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I begged him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down cast and I felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back, a good job and favor in any of her endeavor but at first I was scared but I have to give this man a trial because I love my husband very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered returning love spell from this great spell caster that made me a happy woman again to say it all my husband came back to me with much love and a caring heart...i am testifying to this great spell caster of Ishvara temple you are a great man in this world and you mean so much to me you are the best spell caster that i have ever hear off in all website contact this man via this email if you really need to get your problems solve ishvaratemple@yahoo.com

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    1. Msheeeeeeeeeeew!

      My people perish beacuse they lack knowledge..

      Fraudstars everywhere these days

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    2. If I hear!!! @monique is d mumu spell caster advetising o shior 419 oloshi ole ole atole alaini kan se ! Just run 4 ur life he doesn't deserve u wasting ur money on jazz nd if u ve not been saving try nd save up....

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    3. @monique 419, on the another blog u are rachel from US and ur husband is nathan/ben, on SDK, u r monique...olodo

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  24. Oh well, my mum has been in this shit 22years now...she said she learnt over the years to overlook thngs and wateva e says doesn't even enter her ears...she developed a mega thick skin...a few times she tried to talk back..she would alwys end up on her knees crying for forgvness for days...if u can overlook what e says and just act like es nt refern to u..yes ur even lucky e let u goto school...my dad wouldn't gv that luxury cz es sooooo insecure and wants to be in charge alwys..if u go out sef e can say who authorized u. Smh..anyhoo, focus on ur education and children..yes, my mum says she's fine as long as he pays our fees. Lol..so I mean afta so long I guess there's nothing to loose..she's just patient enuf to reap the fruit of her labour thru her kids..since e doesn't get physical just disregard es words and weneva u can, regardless of es attitude, kill em wth kindness..keep praying too ooo..e wld def regret es actions one day!..nawa!

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  25. My dear run for ur life. I was a in hell in d name of marriage but 2010 December i made that decision and have not looked back. Am happy now and my daughter is happy..pls my advise run for your life and don't look back.

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  26. Hhhmmm I am not married but I can tell that your marriage is as good as dead !!! My sister I am gonna give you my honest advice !! Gods ways are different from ours ,I believe you are not new to the things of the lord ! You should know that the bible is strongly against divource so I advice seperation for now , u both need a break 2 sort things out , u need 2 get ur life together & u have ur education & 3 young Children to take care of ... Mind you violence only adds fuel to the fire , love and respect him and I also advice marriage counselling especially from someone he looks up to very highly and as that is going on do not stop fasting and praying .. When 2 or 3 are gathered the hand of the lord is sure 2 abound ( Get a prayer group ) pray my dear , do not stop for any reason because the enemy would not stop !! Divorce is never an option , do not anger God my dear . I live in the united States & as okay as divorce might seem it leaves terrible scars not only on you but on your kids ... What is d assurance that if u remarry the new husband wouldn't be the same or worse ? The devil that you know is better than the angel you don't know !!! Divorce might seem acceptable but acceptable doesn't mean Good ..... Honey pray and put your home in order trust me God never fails

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  27. I wonder what your husband is saying about you. Like someone else said she worked on herself. Maybe he has a problem with you, your attitude and some other things, Talk to him. Communication is key. Yes, get a job.

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  28. My dear... People will tell u all sorts... God hates divorce, just like he hates liars n cheats like ur husband. Dnt let people that do not knw the bible ruin ur life with their misplaced advise. Gods hates divorce and @ d same time, he loves you and wants the best for you. His plans for you are of good and nt evil to give u a hope and a future.
    I think u need to 1st seek a separation from him. Any good man of God will tell u this. U need to 1st guarantee ur safety. Let me break it down. If u stay, 1 day, he will infect u with an STD den accuse you of cheating n infecting him. Den u'll av to deal with soo much. Men like dt are wicked!!!
    So separate urself frm him nd try to work on ur relationship frm a distance. In dt time, take time out and seek Gods face, cry with sincerity of ur heart n proclaim Gods absolute will. Also pray for ur husband and anoint anythn of him u av as a point of contact, declare the he is a priest, a king n a prophet. Yes dts wat men r supposed to b in their homes.
    Try to get counselling n heal frm the emotional hurt. Nd try to get him into counselling.
    Try ur best n do it with sincerity of heart. Get independent nd start making ur own money. Take care of urself, loose weight if u r out of shape n get fit. Wear good cloths n begin to feel good as a child of God nd learn to praise God @ all times.
    It may take time nd it may hurt. It may get him angry @ 1st oo. But keep at it.
    At the end, if its Gods plan for it to work out it will. Nd listen in ur heart n be sensitive in ur spirit to wat God is saying.
    Take time n improve urself n work on any trait that u av that may nt b good.
    In d end, if it works out, fine, Glory be to God. And if it doesn't, yes go for a divorce but after seeking Gods face.
    People say divorce isn't good, d day he slept with anoda woman, he had seperated himself frm u already. So he has with his own hands put wat God has joined 2geda asunder. God wont hold u accountable.
    People will say divorce isn't good for children, living in such an environment snt good for children either. Neither is having both parents die good for them.
    Be wise!!!!
    Read the bible for urself n dnt let people interprete rubbish for you. God is nt a wicked God. He wont force you to stay in somethn dt will kill u. Divorce shouldn't just be ur 1st option. I pray for strength nd wisdom for you in Jesus name (amen)

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  29. Phew! I'm gonna give my honest opinion...just leave & don't look back hun! wot da hell is the matter with you? You are just 29 for petes sake! You are just too young to be treated like shit by a man who knows nothing about treating a woman right! Take your kids and go home to your parents! If they won't have you, try a reliable friends place for a short while, get a job and move da hell on! Wtf!

    Lucinda

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  30. Seriously Monique #27 are you for real? I mean at this time and age? Don't you read novels/ magazines or watch movies? In case you don't, most of those jazz duress repercussions are so BAD that by their expiration period you'll be lucky if you're fully here without bruises or whatever to tell the story. You had better undo it and commit the whole affair to God that owns the heart of all men(women included) and if d marriage is meant to be it'll by God's intervention rather than jazz. I pray it won't be too late for you. Love is a natural thing that mustn't be forced and if it's not given freely then it's not worth having. Even the bible say yet when we're still sinners Christ loved and dead for us(freely).So if this is you advise to her she better think twice.
    To the topic, I would say you move on with your life still intact and your kids. So that you can fulfill your purpose in life which is not only been a Mrs. married woman, you are here on earth for a purpose greater than been abused or run down by anybody so let NOBODY take that away from you. The bible in Proverbs 4:5-7 says “Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth. Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her, and she shall keep thee. Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” Now look at it from this angle i don't wish or pray him dead but what if he's no more won't you live your life? For the fact that he even throws it at your face that you can't be anything without him, is the more reason you should prove to him that the one with GOD is a majority. However, some marriages are not meant to be but the parties involves forces it to be, so for the fact that u're married with kids may not necessarily mean you meant for each other.Think about this, how could a sane person treats his/her better half like a trash? If you don't move on to discover yourself you won't know and according to your write up,you married too young with the thought that he was the one. I mean marriage is always an eye opener nevertheless must be largely enjoyed with few endurance and not the other way round. Prayer is good, prayer, wisdom and action is better and more rewarding. I wish you the best on your road to happiness.

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  31. ...seriously Monique ....contd
    Also Lady always remember that there's no perfect book or rules for marriage as it's an individual thing that what goes/works for A might not for B. However one rule that stands in all is that if He/She truly loves you he/she will treat you right and will always starve to maintain your happiness. So, a penny may dear! May God be with us all.

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  32. Monique, park far! you hear me? park far far, no parking here. move! quickly! and pack all ur calabash and all with u..

    S to D K, wetin be this naaa?

    you allow this one to come de advertise her native doctor for your blog ehnn??? spell caster abi native doctor "gbi eh".(kill u)

    wait make dat jazz fade comot ur hubby eye, when e strangle you, you go come here come shout DV.

    please don't come and mislead people on this blog o!

    Dear readers of this blog, no matter your situation the best you can do is turn to God and not any satanic agent in the name of spellcaster/native doctor.

    If devil give you shoe, e don collect ur leg o!

    if e give you cap, your head don lost without ur knowing

    Monique ur advice is arrant nonsense! fuck off! u better start thinking of who will help you renew ur jazz cos ur native doctor is DEAD!

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    Replies
    1. Lmao Monique na mad gurl like seriously what da hell is spell caster? in dis time nd age some fools r still doing jazz I cast d jazz away from ur husband's face dis night! Can't believe she's serious anyway maybe she's d spell caster abi na fadeyi I go call am na wah 4 some peeps. @bloglord preach d word Jare #hugs

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  33. thank you bloglord! how are my not sure she used a spell in charming the man in the first place. when it cleared from his eyes, he kicked her out. maybe the first spellcaster died and then her friend introduced her to another.
    you are a very stupid lady! change your ways before it is too late

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  34. lol bloglord! your comment is hilarious!
    april 5, 2013 was the date her initial jazz expired.
    its funny how people don't fear God. smh

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  35. My dear, its total reliance of God now. Because it is the Holyspirit that transforms life. i would advice you pray for your hubby. He needs that in his life: and i would recommend the book- Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin.. It would go a long way to helping you out of your situation. Take care dear

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    Replies
    1. Oh please shut up

      Prayer warriors, wake up. God gave you a brain, use it.

      All the great men in the bible all ACTED, they didn't just PRAY.

      Delete
  36. LOVE YOURSELF LADIES !!!!!!!!!!! Self Worth its very important. If women loved themselves truly as human beings they won't take any form of abuse from any one

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  37. Why did you continue to take the abuse, or keep having children. The poor kids brought intothis mess. And the vicious cycle continues. I don't understand why you are still married to this fellow. LEAVE NOW!!!!!!!! If not for you for your children.

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  38. Maureen Chibueze seriously? ?????? She should pray for her husband and read a book. What about the kids growing up in this toxic situation? What's this madness to get married and stay married even when you're being treated like dirt. majority of the comments here reflect our mentality and the root of these stories. Self worth, self love, self dignity ladies! !!!!!!

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  39. You have no business to still be in that marriage please. How much more do you want to see before you get out of that hell.

    You told your mum all these and she hasn't taken you and you kids out of the mad man's house? What's going on? Your church elders read your diary and didn't ask questions? I don't what's going on.

    Try and get your hands on some of his money, sell whatever property you can sell and move out with your kids.

    Your mother though. SMH.

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  40. I guess I will never ever ever understand why some women allow to be maltreated this way? Is it something in their DNA that they can't control?

    I'm more flabbergasted that you can still bring yourself to sleep with a man that treats you like scum.

    I accept that you were naïve at 20. You are 29 now, with kids depending on you. Please grow a backbone, leave the bastard you call your husband, seek assistance and start living. You were merely existing for the past 9 years.

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  41. God bless you for the advise for this lady, perfectly well said.

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  42. I almost married a guy xactly like dat,it was just d grace of God dat brought me outta dat situation!Mind u he's also 4rm d middlebelt Itsekiri 2 b precise!OMG he was a monster he believed dat d whole world revolved around him n I'l just die wivout him,i suffered diff infections which he claimed he knows notin about but d instance we seperated i didn't itch r discharge r av anymore symptoms not 2 talk of infections til date and d sex was more painful dan enjoyable infact he was an addict!he already has a kid outside marriage and he's married now...sometimes i wonda wat sin d woman must av commited 2 deserve such a man as a husband bcos dis wil b d beginin of ha end!I totaly understand wat dis lady is goin thru n my dear my advice 4 u is 2 RUN run so fast n neva luk back,he's a monster n hez gonna pretend he's changed n wanna try 2 av u back cos he knows no woman outside wil do wat u do 4 him but don't fall into dat trap just keep RUNNING if not u wil die a painful n lonely death caused by sickness!

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  43. You ladies must be very stupid haven't u ladies heard of rat poison.

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  44. My sis is married 2 a billionaira, bt she cld nt endure n we helped her 2 run away, now she is doing better n d man is doing d begging. Ur life is more inportant, Run Run n Run

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  45. My advice, Please leave the mad man. Take ur children and run very far away, where he can not reach u. The Lord is ur strenght

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  46. Thank o jare, rat poison still dey make ooo

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  47. Hmmmmm.............. nawa, life! your husband abuses you sexually, mine starves me with sex. Atimes, he chooses not to sleep with me for a month or two knowing fully well that there is no week he doesnt sleep with about 3 or 4 different women. Different folks for different styles. I believe God has answered my prayers cos i don't need anyone to give me any disease as God has blessed me with 3 gorgeous kids. Please run away for the sake of ur children, am on my way out oh, abeg I take God beg you.

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  48. Hello my dear, yes u guys have kids for each other. I would advice u seek a divorce in a proper way with responsibilities from the father of your xren. Only then u can truly have rest of mind. God's Loving Kindness i and my family wish u.

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  49. Benue, Plateau and possibly Nassarawa states are middle belt states ma dear! Itsekiri isnt 1 of them, thats South South!!!

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  50. Bloglord ure definitely from ishan Edo state.one love ma sister.

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  51. Bloglord ure definitely from ishan Edo state.one love ma sister.

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  52. I just want to take a few moments to personally thank you for helping me bring back my husband to me and his family. About three months ago, I discovered that my husband of 3 years was having an affair outside our relationship. When I found out about this affair, I approached him and he did not confessed that he and She was having an affair and that he loved her and wanted to end our marriage and be with her.I was so devastated that I had to be hospitalized for a nervous breakdown. When I got better, I decided to go online and look for someone very good to help me. for a surprised! Then one day, I saw your comment about the powerful saibaba temple and was impressed by what they said. and i contacted him for the solution of my problem, and my husband attitude began to change and share good feelings towards me and i am so much happy after he apologies for what he had done to me, he now love me and treat so much better than ever before. thanks to the great one. you can contact this great spell caster via his email templesaibaba@yahoo.com

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  53. With all due respect i want to thank DR. TEBE for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things until i loosed my boyfriend, I required help until i found greattebespelltemple@gmail.com A great spell caster, And he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my boyfriend back in just 24hours after the spell has been cast. 24hours later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for past 3 years now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my back bone till the rest of his life with me. DR. TEBE released him, to know how much i loved and wanted him. And He also opened his eyes to picture how much love we have share together. As I am writing this testimony right now i am the most happiest girl on earth and me and my fiance is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that is why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe. All thanks goes to DR. TEBE for the excessive work that he has done for me. Here is his email address greattebespelltemple@gmail.com His web site address is http://greattebespelltemple.webs.com or you can call him through his private number +2349034883690.

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  54. No one could have ever made me believe that the letter I'm about to write would actually one day be written. I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like that, but I was told by a reliable source (a very close co-worker) that Dr Matamah is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person, and after much “cajoling,” she (my co-worker) got me to visit this website. It was one of the best things I have ever done. My love life was in shambles; I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn't face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn't seem to care. So, with nothing but my pride to lose, I checked it out. I was flabbergasted. Dr Matamah is for REAL. He did whatever magic he does, and lo and behold – no more than TWO DAYS later, I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage counseling, and we’re doing very, very well, on the road to recovery! Love and Many Blessings Back to You! Contact Dr Matamah through his email on guruvoodoospellcast@yahoo.com.

    ReplyDelete

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