Married To A Spouse Who Kills Your Value - Blog Visitor Narrative.

Good Morning Stella/blog visitors,

 Please I need your help, words fail me at the moment to express how i feel but i will try as much as possible. 

   My name is Florence, I have being married for almost 3yrs now, my husband and I are still believing God for the fruit of the womb. Within these years i have smiled, laughed and cried but more of crying. I come from a polygamous home and will do anything possible to ensure my children dont go through the same. 

I met my husband 6 years ago, i had just graduated and awaiting service. He was nice, intelligent, honest etc. We became friends instantly, His one of those persons you meet and it seems you have known each other for years.       We lost touch for a few years, i finished service and got a job in a good firm, then ran into him again. He proposed and we tied the knot exactly a year after we met. 

   To say am married to a different person is an understatement, my husband has changed. He keeps malice like his life depends on it. If there is a disagreement, atimes it takes him a month to get over it. Within that period am miserable begging and doing everything possible to appease him. I left my job and started a business without any help from him, yet he has been angry that i dont want to put the money i make in our joint account. He hasnt put either.

   When his angry am not allowed to watch TV, put on the generator or have visitors. He would collect my keys to the house and leave only the back door open or sometimes lock me out. For 2years i kept all these things and many more to myself untill my sister left her kids with me for a weekend to write an exam, I had discussed it with him before the arrived only for him to call to find out if they had come, i answered yes. He said by the time he comes back he doesnt want to see them in his house, at that point i couldnt take it anymore,  i told there was no where to send them as their was offshore. 

He came at 11pm and woke the children aged 4 and 6 and told them to pack their things. I tried to intervene he beat me up and pushed us all out by midnight. We spent the night at a neighbour's place. I forgave him to enable me have a peaceful home, this is a man that doesnt provide for his family, he would rather cater for his extended family. This year he bought two cars for himself and his mother, then gave his youngest sibling his old car. Although i have a car of my own which i bought while i was working, my annoyance is my husband didnt inform me of any of these things and has been giving me the impression that there is no money. 

From my business i manage the home and cater for my needs as a result of all these responsibilities the business is crawling.Before he bought the cars,  he said no money to renew our rent. I offered to sell my tablet and some jewelleries as my support.

I asked if he could borrow from any of his relatives to make up the rest. While we where waiting to sell the items i fell ill and had to undergo a surgery, my husband delibrately refused to contribute a penny to my medical bills rather he said since i told him to borrow from his relative i should do the same. 

 By the time i recovered i felt so used by him and refused selling the items to help pay for the rent rather used it for my medicals. A week after he came with the cars. 

   My husband keeps extramarital affairs outside with different girls he meets on social media, i have been treated for an STD yet i forgave.  When i think of some of these things i feel bitter towards him and in the past have abused him once by calling him a useless man.Afterwards, i apologised and it has never repeated itself again. 

  

 Last month he shouted at me for sleeping in front of the TV, that when it brings problem i should not say he didnt warn me. Since then he has told me not to switch on the TV or generator. He has taken the phone he bought for me as a wedding gift knowing fully well thats what i use for my business. We barely talk and sleep in seperate rooms.

Our Pastor has counselled us several times, and has told him to go and love his wife and as the leader of the family live by example.Yesterday the Pastor called me to encourage me saying i should not relent in showing him love, that things will change soon. Now am at a crossroad because i have decided to take a break and regain my sanity. How long will i continue showing love to a person that treats me less than a human and doesnt face his responsibilities, rather believes he has the right to behave any how and the wife should take all the shit all in the name of building her home. 

Please i need advice, how can i earn my value as a wife, should i keep forgiving and enduring or should i take a break and teach him a lesson. Forgive the errors please.''

*Jesus christ!!!..i am too shocked to even think...this sounds like a one chance.