When a marriage breaks down,one party is bound to break down as well,especially if the other one is happily talking a walk.....
What do you do when this happens?
THIS WAS TOO COMPLICATED FOR THE CHRONICLE OF NARRATIVES
''Dear Stella,with tears streaming down my eyes,I write for the world to know my story.I only plead for God's mercy and forgiveness of my Family;my kids.
All through my adulthood,I have been faced with life's cruel stroke.My name is Ifeoma Okafor,I am 32 yrs old.I got married traditionally to a guy arranged by my Mom,opposed by my Dad,at the age of 19 as against the guy I was dating and planning on marrying.That was during my 1st year in the Uni.
we were from two opposite background.He came from a family of illiterates,where as my Dad was a Lecturer and Social worker and my Mom a Secondary school teacher.I had my 1st baby girl at 21 yrs.The marriage was turbulent.
There was no luv lost between us.My baby was 7 months when the marriage broke down.My Dad was divinely supportive.He took me in and cushioned the effect of my failed marriage.I had to combine taking care of my baby and school as my ex-hubby abandoned her to me.My father placed me on a 10k monthly allowance.It helped a lot.I also started going to Kano to get gold 4 sale at school.I started with 25k.
We wanted to return his bride price but he said if the baby wasn't returned to him,he aint collecting.That landed us at the Child Welfare dept of the ministry of Women affairs and Child development at Awka.After a rigorous fight,I won custody of my baby.
My grades at school suffered a lot as I was rarely in school.4 yrs down the line,2006,I lost my back bone,the only man in my life,My Dad.I nearly lost it then but miraculously,the same month my dad was buried,I met a young man.he works with the Govt Media.I bared my soul to him,he accepted me and proposed marriage after 6 months of dating.
He was living in a room with only Tv,Vcd,a bed and his clothes. nothing else.He makes money but lives recklessly. I accepted him like that becos I needed the love he was offering.He paid my bride price and I got pregnant almost immediately.I loved him and I guessed he loved me too considering the way he fought opposition to marry me.I was still struggling to pull through School.I had some courses to retake but I had to pay school fees.
I asked my hubby 4 the money and he told me that if he had known I wasn't a graduate,he wouldnt had married me.I reminded him that he knew everything prior our dating,that was when he apologised and gave me the money. I was hurt badly. Whenever we quarrel,he would throw it to my face that he was told not to marry me.Slowly,I started feeling inferior.After my baby,we had our white wedding.I loved him more than life itself,he was my life saver,my shame coverer.we had 2 more kids.
I did my NYSC at Abuja where hubby was transferred to.All my allowee money,I spent in the house to appreciate my hubby for doing it alone 4 so long.after NYSC,to get job,whosai!
My hubby under pressure will throw it to my face that I was a burden.I cry when am alone becos I knew if I had a steady income,I would give all to him.he deserved it.he was my knight in shinning armour.Then the kukere movement started.I accosted him but he made me look paranoid and crazy.I later caught him in his lie.I intercepted his whatsapp conversation with a lady.it shattered my being.
I accosted him and slapped him upon his denial,he surprised me and hit me again and again.He told me he would be happier elsewhere,that am shameless to be making a fuss,that we are not compatible(I thought we were).
He asked me for a divorce.God!!!
No Job,4 kids and another divorce.I cried myself to sleep last night.
I can't see any hope and future for me.No Dad to place me on a monthly allowance,no solace.Am a damaged woman beyond redemption.Am tired of the pain.I want to sleep.Be peaceful.Even the thoughts of my kids can't keep me sane anymore,becos I can't offer them nothing.
Am worthless,Am nothing,Am a failure,Am better forgotten. Where do I go to?where do I turn to,Everywhere is dark;Pitch dark.Please forgive me Lord.Even the thought of still living with him,seeing him,tears my heart to pieces.This is Nigeria,he can't leave,I am the one to leave.But to where?With 4 kids and No Job? Hope is bleak and life has lost its taste.I feel so much relieve penning this down.Thank you very much 4 hearing my story.
*You slapped your husband?WHY????? that was so wrong babe but then the deed has been done.you need to look for a way to try and make it right.did you apologise?
Perhaps someone here might give you tips on what to do.Your story is too complicated,i dont know what else to say but please stay strong for your kids...
Some people are just unlucky in this thing called MARRIAGE
ReplyDeleteI pray u get a job soonest no matter how small cos that's gonna save the situation a lil bit
That's why I love it when girls graduate and get a job of their own before getting married
Its well poster!
Hmmm.......u really rushed into the second marriage. but anyways! The harm has already being done. pls try and apologize to husband. u nid to get a job too.... start a small business too...but plz dnt think of suicide. I lost my mom thru suicide wen I was barely 2 yrs......nd it really hurts.....!!!!! #Ama Ghana#
DeleteHer major mistake was getting married again in the university. You should have at least waited a while because you were still young then.
DeleteAnyway its all in the past now.
You neef to be strong. You have life, that is something. Go to any Catholic Church around you. Ask of St. Vincent De Paul Society. Tell them you need help with starting a small scale business. They will advice you and give you the money needed (after investigation to make sure you are real).
They help people, whether yoy are s Catholic or not.
Hmnn my dear u are so unlucky with men. U shuldnt av gotten married in a rush. But d deed has bin done. U nid a job like yesterday. Anybody dat can help her wit a job shuld pls do
DeleteHmnn my dear u are so unlucky with men. U shuldnt av gotten married in a rush. But d deed has bin done. U nid a job like yesterday. Anybody dat can help her wit a job shuld pls do
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Delete@ poster please toughen up for the sake of ur kids
DeleteYawn!!
ReplyDeleteReally tired of all these broken beyond redemption stories. Stella take it easy wit these negative chronicles. The same advice given every day by day and same story comes in different shades.
What exactly do we do? Mend u?
I will start jumping these chronicles.
U nvr finish wit one man u quickly jumped in2 another one's hand without first improving urself. Then u went ahead to produce strings of children. Now u r broken and u want us to do wat exactly?
Stella let me not look for this comment.
Let the 'eiyaaaa' and 'awwww' and 'pray' and 'sit him down and talk' commence
The dynamics of this blog is changing with the negativity over taking it
Let this blog not hv a gloomy cloud always hanging over it.
I'm ranting!
I agree with you 500%!
DeleteU just said my mind! 1000000 million likes!
DeleteYou couldn't have said it better. The negativity on this blog over marital issues could have a negative influence on BVs; the fear of getting married for instance. May God help us in Jesus name. Amen
DeleteI don't even know what's going on with marriages these days. Two of my fiends just for divorced. See me see stupid reasons like, we got married too early, we just fell out of love, bla bla bla. I just shook my head.
DeleteI don't even know what's going on with marriages these days. Two of my fiends just for divorced. See me see stupid reasons like, we got married too early, we just fell out of love, bla bla bla. I just shook my head.
DeleteHi Stella, I agree with the above bv.Too much nenegative stories can be depressing. In as much as it breeds comments you have to also focus on feel good and success stories. Stories that encourage people. I always thank God for my life and marriage after reading all these tales but they are really depressing I must confess. Please encourage more successful marriage stories or good news stories or stories from anyone who has anything useful to contribute. I know you own the blog but also listen to what your bv tone as well. Thanks, Mrs East.
DeleteMy thought exactly ...God bless you
DeleteNot everyday marriage problems, at least some days marriage success stories abeg. Reading some stories and comments here nearly ruined mine bcos I got into it with a certain mindset bt thank God I was able to rethink some decisions later on.
DeleteI avoid some narratives and comments all together.
I support you guys 100% but the issue is that when pple come here with stories of their successful lives n marriages, it is the same blog visitors that will accuse them of showing off, being insensitive, and even go as far as cast a shadow of doubt to the narrator's heart like : ha!, are u sure ur hubby is faithful, i know someone.......and d negativity will creep in again.....so as much as i understand ur point which i support, our pple dont appreciate good news if its not happening to them.....call it envy, jealousy or self centered.....
DeleteShould sdk manufacture sweet marital stories?its just unfortunate that things like this are happening. The singles here should learn....If he hits u now it won't stop in marriage,if he's a pig now he will be a bigger pig after the wedding. There are good marriages here and there but if they come here to talk/hint at marital bliss una go still curse them.
DeleteXYZ and the likes you guys are so heartless, you should know this is a wicked world we live in. Yes there are successful marriages butdo you eexpect me to come and be bragging about it here. God thatu uses Stella as a point of contact does not make a mistake mind you.
DeleteUna thank u o. Na wetin I been wan type be dat. Biko stories too plenty Abeg. Na to skip post remain. Hian
DeleteYeah. Really complicated. I dnt have a valid advice for u but I will put u in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteMy advice is for newly married ladies. Bikonu dnt give birth to more than two until u r financially bouyant. Mind u I ddnt say until DH is financially bouyant.
Am referring to u. Cos these niggas ain't loyal
You're very right my dear. We as women shouldn't knly depend in men all the time once there's kid or kids jnvolved the next will be how to fight struggle and save money for them in case anything goes wrong not only to save but as well support the family. Once a man is the only one catering for the whole family he will lose that respect he has for the wife and will start looking for a relief elsewhere
DeleteI hate anything called housewife without any means of getting income you can be a house wife and doing some little business as well
On point
DeleteThis divorce stories don tire me biko...
ReplyDeleteMay God see u thru o. Who am I to judge u on y u produced plenty children for him without defining their future
DeleteMy dear, abeg no talk like that. Iphie dearie, Genny baby where are you? Come and offer this woman some words of comfort.
ReplyDeleteI'm sending a hug to you, but at a time like this, turn to God, only Him can comfort you. It is well.
Lisa dear..this one pass me! I even have nightmares these days from this sad tales.
DeleteChai,madam..yours is indeed a terrible situation.. I wish you did not go into this second marriage..
Am just going to send you warm hugs and wait for Ronalda and Genny baby!
Your self esteem is shattered! You need a job ASAP!
Why not send your qualifications let the ever kind Bvs start scouting for you...
Hmmmmmm
DeleteI'm so speechless oh.
This post touched me so much because from what I gathered, it seems she is from my area...
Dear Ifeoma, what do you want? Advice? To make up with your husband? A job? Or just a listening ear???
Do you have a place you can stay in Awka with your kids?
If yes, can you relocate if you are offered a job?
I don't have a job at hand for you but if you really need one and you are willing to move back to Awka I can tell my parents to find you something to do. I'm almost certain they can fix you up.
Awka is cheaper, good schools at affordable rate etc
Just let me know if you are interested in my offer and we will take it up from there.
E-hugs
*Deep Sighs*
Awwww, Genny baby, very thotful of u
DeleteThanks dear God bless
DeleteGENNY BABY! ...MAY GOD CONTINUE TO BLESS YOU FOR YOUR KIND OFFER TO THE POSTER.
Delete@ poster take this offer fast and give your kids a bright future. Please stay strong and all the very best.
I feel very sorry for you but I must confess that I hate you for slapping your husband. They say it is wrong for a man to hit a woman but nobody says anything about women hitting their man, are men not human's?
ReplyDeleteIts unfortunate that your situation is like this but I'll discredit you for slapping him for that you are on your own ma'am. I hate it when women hit a man, everybody should keep their hands to themselves, dont hit anyone for any reason.
Don't mind Stella and her stupid comments sometimes......did you read all the guy was doing to her? Why would he be maltreating her and using her past to abuse her? U think women have not right to loose their temper like men? She is better off without the man.....woman brace yourself and be strong for your children.....get a job first and things will fall in line and pls and pls don't get entangled with any man for now....u need to find your feet and be secure in yourself first.....
DeleteStella please save your stupid question, its unnecessary. Why did you stop the buying and selling of gold? Maybe you should start it again or if possible, start another business. You are just scared of people terming you a two time divorcee. IMHO, you don't need a man to validate you. What you need now is money to take care of your kids, not some imbecile that will keep reminding you what a failure you are.
ReplyDeleteFinal question, what have you been doing since you finished serving?
I also wondered about the gold business. Unemployment rates are high. Jobs are hard to come by. Some business people are even better off than white-collar workers.
DeleteWhy rely completely on a man like that when you've previously had a bad experience?
Pls brace up and shake those dark clouds off u. I don't like the tone of ur mail. Suicide is not an option. Don't be a coward, those kids would never forgive u. Tough times only last for a while. In years to come U'll look back on this period and marvel.
Chin up!
Simple family planning would have save you all these stress. 4 children, how are you gonna cope. The only solution is to go and kneel down for your man and ask for forgiveness . Best of luck
ReplyDeleteYou rushed into marriage just because you needed someone to take over from your late father's responsibility, okay.
ReplyDeleteYou slapped your husband, your only benefactor because you saw a whatsapp message, okay.
Now he wants a divorce, okay.
And you need help, okay.
How can we help? Get you accommodation? A job? Money for you to start something to survive? What kind of help do you need? Or are you just sharing this to ease the pain?
Maybe he's angry and he will calm down but if that's not the case and he still insists on divorce, leave the kids with him. Let him take care of them. They are his as much as they are yours.
Talk to Jesus, He always has an answer.
JayEm you know that man doesn't want a divorce because of the slap...
DeleteJayem has been hacked!!! There's no way this bitch is this reasonable!
DeleteMadam don't cry again when life gives you lemons make a lemonade. It is well. I will tell you a few things, if you're tired and your hubby is serious about the divorce do the following:
Delete1) Don't leave your kids, go and drop them with your mum, put them in a state sch I know it's hard and heartbreaking but things will get better.
2) hustle like your life depends on it because it does! Your kids lives does! hustle clean, hustle hard, it will pay off. The bible says shameless audacity will get you what you want because even if the person you're asking a favour from doesn't fear God because you asked and you are persistent they will give it to you. Look for jobs any and everywhere legit no matter the salary nothing is too small for your kids.
3) take your time with your next r/ship don't rush don't see them as a lifeboat, don't see them as a source to an end or happiness hold your ground financially before you venture into another r/ship and if it leads to marriage do all three TM, Church, Court!.
You will be fine, all is well your life will be better than anything you've experienced. You are a strong woman and God gives he's toughest battles to He's strongest Soldiers. All is well Trust God more than ever.
Seconded! @ Chacha. The JayEm comment shock me I swear!
DeleteI 2nd your advice cha cha. Put your kis in a govt sch @least there's no sch fees there. Don't leave your kids wit him o cos u'll neva see dem again if u do. Hustle real hard for a job or biz. Bv's too pls any1 wit a job shuld pls help her
DeleteIphie, I didn't even know what to think again. I confuse pass Stella.
Delete@cha cha and Ugly and stupid: una dey mad oh. Shuuuuuoooo!
Abeg...if you apologize dear poster and he still insists on the divorce.. Leave the kids with him...then drop the child from your previous marriage with your mum since you have custody of that child... Then tru getting yourself back on your feet later you can work out a plan with the fathers of your kids on how both parents would play a role in their life....
DeleteMy dear if you carry those 3 children honestly you would be the one that would suffer...most Nigerian men don't know what child support is even if you take them to social services and welfare...they mostly escape because the system can't even keep track of their income and my dear while you are suffering for thus children born of 2 parents that are both alive...their father would marry another girl and won't be saddled with any responsibility while you would be wasting doing the work of 2
Don't ever leave your children with anyone
DeleteThis sounded like a suicide note to me... Please hope you not thinking about suicide?
ReplyDeleteD only sensible comment so far... I hope she's ok
DeleteMy thots too
DeleteFor those that will advise her to move out, please remember to provide her with a shoulder to lean on and please not RUNS things.
ReplyDeleteHummmmm dis is tumuch for u to handle alone. .. y not start up business like u use to do? 4 kids? Please jst pretend to b a mermaid. ....stop snooping since u gat no place to run too!
ReplyDeleteAswear that pretending to be a mermaid is the way forward. You need the man for now. Pretend to be a mermaid and remove your face. And get a job while you're at it.
DeleteHa no words can form in ma head.
ReplyDeleteThis story is very complicated.
God help u
ANGELRAY SAID
ReplyDeleteAnother marriage trouble this Monday morning, does it mean men are the only bad eggs in the family, does it mean all women are perfect in their marriage, cos it baffles me when women complain abt their hubby everyday, .
Poster u sound like a suicide case, d only option u ve is to make peace with ur hubby and tolerate any shit he gives u since u can't stand on ur own. My two cent.
God bless u!women come here and be posting all sorts of scary stories,and u might be shocked to find out some of them are d cause of the whole wahala!
Deletewell,Stella thank u oo!i notice uv decided to stop posting most of my comments abi?...shei na cos I no dey share card make u for notice me lol,or u just don tire for my own comments!.....well I will still be posting,till u barr me from d blog#rme#
Such a pitiable story. My dear, marriage is meant go be enjoyed not endured. You were too hasty in entering into ur second marriage but then d deed has been done. U can beg ur man for slapping him at least he can accept u back and still be sheltering u though its obvious d man doesn't Luv u at all. I also pray u get something doing. I don't believe there is no job for graduates in this country, it depends on the kind of job you want. We must not all work in banks, oil companies and d rest. Start from d little around u and God willing, u will find Urself on top. All d best.
ReplyDeleteMadam, am truly sorry for ur predicament. But complaining and self pity will get u nowhere. I ll advice u to pick up the pieces of ur life and move on. U and u alone re responsible for ur happiness. Trust me I know what am talking about. Ur case is child's play when compared to what I went through with my hubby. But all that ended when I decided to take charge of my life. No one likes a spouse who is a liability. It's even worse with women when they are bread winners. Go on ur knees in prayers, ask God for directions, read ur bible and motivational books, am sure u ll find the strength u need. Also divorce is not an option yet. U can still make ur marriage work. Good luck
ReplyDeleteMy dear God will help u. This is just a stepping stone to ur great testimony. But to correct u, u don't slap ur hubby no matter what. Read isaiah 45:2-3, Jeremaih 33:3, isaiah 65:24. Since u stay in abuja, u can reach me on. genevieveohale@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteTinz r happening, pls apology to ur hubby when he's bk frm work.so srry
ReplyDeleteIfe ne me
ReplyDeleteStella I don't see d reason why I cant slap a man if he slaps me as long I get d power to fite am.if na man wey I no say I no fit fite then I will rather restrain make he no kill me.ds niger its hard leaving marriage because man beat us now,nah family go come siddown settle d whole tin for us so I ll rather do my own back before d sitting down of family people comes.
ReplyDeleteMadam its only God ooo who can do this for you,yes apologise to him as stella said but if he insists,u know u ve to move on.take all to God,its only HIM who can help at this junction.stop having that feeling that all hope is gone.there is noting God cant do and babes na ur own u see,wen u hear some other people's story babes, you will kneel down and start thanking God. Its not the end of the world, brace yourself for the worst sef cos its just how life is, too complicated. God ll strengthen you, take all to him in prayers, He wont let his own suffer at all.it is well with you dear.
To start with, am isn't the same as I am or I'm.
ReplyDeleteRelieve is different from relief.
Get it right.
And your present hubby is (was) a rebound case for you.
You were emotionally shattered by your first husband and father's death, so the next guy that came running to you with a sweet proposals..you were too emotionally distraught to see through his facade.
You need to be independent, get something going for yourself, stop with the sob stories and reject all self proclaimed proclamations.
And you need to learn how to respect a man. Getting violent was really appalling, you shouldn't have slapped him.
Fix your grammar, maybe you'll get a job.
Fix your respect button, maybe you might be able to keep a home.
Best wishes.
One sided rueful tales piss me off. I wasn't there !
Mrs. BitchBiko.
damn it!! u so insensitive...mtcheew...
DeleteWorst post on dis story, u're so mean, wonder if u ve blood running through ur veins...if u had nothing gud to say, u should ve said nothing @ all
Delete@Mrs Bitch Biko, remove the PLANK in your eye first! What is "a sweet proposals"?!!
DeleteYou are the one in dire need of grammar lessons, babe, not the poster!
May sorrow be your potion for mocking at someone's pain you insensitive bastard.
DeleteWhile at it fix your coldheartedness.
Corrector oshi.
Una sef!!!
DeleteWhere is d mockery in her comment????this poster needs some hard truths biko.
Going back to bed biko
DeleteU Only need d word of God & ur faith to win d challenges facing u now.Good luck
ReplyDeleteMy heart bleeds for you dear. Please don't give up. You are not a failure. You are a graduate now remember? You struggled against all odds to get here so why give up now? Keep applying for jobs dear. Check the Newspapers; Guardian, Punch, Vanguard. Search the internet; jobberman, hot jobs in Nigeria, Naira Carrear etc. You'll be surprised at the offers waiting for you. And sweetie, don't give up already, keep begging your husband, he may simply be reacting out of anger.
ReplyDeleteFinally, please take it to God, there's nothing too big for him to handle. I know this feeling of depression you are having now- feeling like it's all ended, but my dear, you will be surprised at the things he has in store for you. Only him can turn things around dear. Please cry out to him and he'll be there for you.
Your story made me cry....it was almost as if i could feel your pain. There is nothing God cannot do, just put it in prayers. I wish you started some sort of business when you got married. An industrious wife is a pride to any man, Sometimes, it is frustrating when a man does everything alone, especially when he isn't making so much. Try and look for something to do, anything....go out and ask someone...meet a priest or a pastor, speak to them about a job, im sure they can assist.
ReplyDeleteLadies, please please please get busy with yourselves, so you wont be left in the cold tomorrow. Life is unpredictable, and the heart of man is wicked. a man will leave you without a seconds thought, irrespective of his children. also, never ever raise your hand to hit your man! It is not done, no matter the aggravation. Curse all you want, but never hit.he is 10times stronger than you. I pray God sends you a comforter...You are not worthless, and God loves you.It is well....TC
I don't wear ur shoes so I don't know where or how they hurt you.but would say u need to go back and beg ur hubby.beg with everything u have so u can plan and resstrategise.of course he would ask u for a divorce cos he has seen u finish.u need to stand up and be a woman who thinks like a man but act like a woman. Life is not for the faint hearted who is always looking for somebody to hold u when u are down cod what if he just dies suddenly and his relatives take away everything from u,what would you do with yourself.i don't blame people for what's gone wrong but what's the way forward is what I look for.put on ur thinking cap and stand up and be strong for ur kids otherwise they will grow up on the streets and you will have a more broken heart if they turn out bad cos its your fault and no one. my 2 cents.
ReplyDelete@poster,there is only one option left here..precisely your husband doesnt love you anymore since he is happy about you having a divorce with him...here is my 2cent about the option u have now;why not apologize to him first of all for slapping him(that word "sorry" would calm his balls down a bit)...personally i wont advice you to continue staying with him cos its same as you forcing love on him and if he continues being randy and u ever complain;he would say it to you that he has asked you for a divorce earlier on..remember when love is lost totally,it can never be regained 100% again.yea you can try to build up your marriage again but thats at your own benefit.now what am i saying,why not just play the fool now and be a good wife whilst you draw your next plan..i dont know how much you have got now but i think its best you stay with him and try to make him believe u still love him just as to buy u more time in his home cos i wont advice you to continue in this kinda marriage..believe me there are jobs u can do apart from white collar jobs,like reselling of good "okrika" clothes at schools,learning sewing,baking,running a lil restaurant etc...thats why i said earlier on that i dont know how much you ve got on you cos u need less than 50k to start up any of this whilst u you still use ur degree to look for other job as u make use of ur time wisely...i wish you all the best as you make the best decision but please whatever you do,make sure your children are safe.... (personally i think that line "for better,for worse" should be removed when making marriage vows..cheating is a sin to God and to man...soo why should i remain in a marriage where my spouse cant be faithful?? Is it just too much to ask from ur spouse?? Whats just the issue with people and sex?? God help my future wife cos the day she cheats and i find out,Only God can tell my next line of action). @MARTINS ABOY
ReplyDeleteA million likes to your comment Martins Aboy.
DeleteGenny onye nkem..ndewo!! I see you ma...
DeleteSo what of d day u cheat?#rme
DeleteNice comment dou...
people are going through a lot mehnnn.
ReplyDeleteshe slapped him when her thoughts had been beclouded by pain, depression, frustration, sadness. she didn't mean to.
some people out of love and mind screams for love and comfort from their partner, they hit. very bad but yes it happens a lot. (just like you see a woman in a movie hitting a man and crying; and suddenly breaks down crying in the arms of same man)
poster kept taking one bad step after another in a quest to find love, affection and comfort.
*sigh
she needs help. I feel for her
Hmmmmmn,this is really complicated.All in the name of LOVE!Will women ever learn?? It is time for you to dig deep, and get your feet on the ground as quickly as you can,cos after begging him he will keep reminding you what a failure u are.look for job or acquire a skill,or better stiil continue your gold business.it takes great courage to humble yourself that you will do whatever it takes to takecare of yourself and kids.Be very prayerful
ReplyDeleteThis is what happens when women soley depend on men be it father, boyfriend, husband. @poster .... Nigerian women dont commit suicide oh!!! in case you are thinking about it , we are stronger..in fact u are stronger than that ... my advice be d fool..... beg ur hubby at least u would have a roof over your head....then look for something to do, it must'nt be big....and start from there ....God will see you thru....
ReplyDeleteIn addition to PH babes advice.. don't get carried a way by the sex, pls this is rili important, stay away from his phones and calls, wht u don't know they said wouldn't kill u.. and pls pray, u need deliverance..
DeleteDats really 2much. It scares me d way men change after wedding. My sister is in dis same predicament. Years ago she found out dat her husband got married 2another woman just few days after she had her first child.d worst part is d way she found out. She was doing some serious cleaning in d house and she found an envelope wit durst .she opened it and she saw the wedding pictures. She was alrdy pregnant wit her 2 child..she called me just last night to complain again .her husband is about to get married to another woman.she saw a ring in his pocket that wasnt her size and he lied dat it meant for her.shes prepared to leave d marriage now.but to whr with 4kids. I dnt even knw how to console her.d whole issue tire me jare.pls ignore my typos
ReplyDeleteBuhaahahahahahahahahahhaha sorry I laughed.. but tht u in law na craze man... men!
DeleteMust he marry them?or is his name also Solomon Akiyesi?
DeleteSmh
Dis one needs deliverance like asap!
How did ur first marriage end without reconciliation? It seems u didnt even make attempts to win ur man's heart.abd the second man too.u have to understand that no marriage is perfect.not only men but women too can say anything at the slightest provocation.u may be surprised but if u want to be happy in marriage try not to take those words to heart else u will end up marrying ten times and still be alone.when he's talking stay quiet and endure,later he will feel guilty then u have the opportunity to place demands.when kids are involved u sometimes endure because of tgem.who told u u can't get a job tomorrow? U weren't patient babe,and u slapped ur husband?did noone school u on marriage?u'v gat it twisted oh.go back to the drawing board.
ReplyDeleteNa mi Biko you are the biggest fool on this blog......
DeleteDear Poster, I feel for you. But as the saying goes, As you lay your bed so will you lie on it. You hastily jumped from one failed marriage into another. I hope you have picked your learning's. Go back and apologize to your hubby for slapping, Violence shouldn't be encouraged at all. You are a graduate, act and think like one. Dust your CV and go round schools in your area (primary/ secondary). You should get a teaching job if you are serious about it. You can then enroll your kids in the same school to ease school fees trouble and also help you to plan for your future ( with or without a man).
ReplyDeleteDon't go around expecting men to pick your bills, your parents have played their role in your life, sit up & start living if not for you but for the sake of those innocent kids. Note, suicide is NOT an option......ABCD
Poster,d key to ur problem is to stop crying and feeling inferior,..u are wonderfully made,stop degrading urself,...no job doesn't mean u are a failure,...stop talking down on urself,..wipe ur tears and wash if with water,do ur makeup and dress ur children properly,put a music and dance away ur sorrows....Be happy,dats d first key....wait for him to come back,treat him well and serve him his dinner in a happy mood,dont let him see u sad,apologize for slapping him,and tell him it will never happen again,tell him how much u love him,and if he tries to talk u down,laugh at it as if it's a joke even when it's painful,and tell him u are not perfect but u want to be for him,then get a nice sleep,and wake up happy,sing joyful songs in d morning while doing ur house chores,and if there is light,play joyful music and sing along with it....and if he continues talking about divorce ignore him and continue to be happy no matter how he treats u,...let him go and file for a divorce,and I don't know what gave u d mentality dat a woman leaves d house for d man,..in divorce d man leaves d house even here in nigeria,its d women dat feels scared and run out,unless u don't have a marriage certificate,if u have one,then my sister u are not d one to leave d house,he is.......but fighting divorce is planB,planA is being happy,lots of men get scared when d woman they are treating wrong,suddenly starts being happy instead of crying and sobbing....stand strong,be happy....stop thinking divorce is d end of d world,wat if his to die(Godforbid),wont u move on? Stop making ur husband think without him u are a dead woman,No,if u do dat he will continue treating u wrong,and might even bring d lady home one day,cos u are making him ur god,..and he will do what every god does,control u and manipulate you,.....please treat him right, like ur follow man whom u respect and adore,...not a god...stand ur ground and let nobody push u around cos he married u after ur first marriage failed,and cos he helped u finish school after he married u(its his damn responsibility),and cos u don't have a job(in nigeria is not easy to get a job)
ReplyDeleteI just wish I can see u,share my experience and talk some sense into u....Be happy please my sister,all will be well in no time,(its just a phase,all of us passed thru it,urs is even a child's play compared to mine,but here i am today,stronger than u can imagine).
Nice comment you have there.
DeletePlease dear poster learn not to snoop on your hubby trust me I have done it before and I was giving myself high BP while he was busy enjoying himself. Play the fool, make demands and save up. Make something meaningful out of yourself. The best form of revenge is to be happy and successful. Above all pray hard as in pray hard you sure need it
Marriage is nt a bed of roses...no home has it all rosy.d 1st mistake has bin made,u shld ve corrected it by continuing wiv ur business...did u save @ all?...u spent all ur allowee on ur home n husband..Now he wnts a divorce...
ReplyDeleteU hit him abi?...oya apologise
Wat do I even say 2u?...wias ur location?..look around, ur nw a graduate...dia must be any job arnd u dat can @least get u 20k a month...
No nid cryin ova split milk..i won't blame u for openin ur legs wide,collecting prick and churnin out 2 babies wen u knew u weren't financially handful...
Dunno y women don't plan ahead?...
Sorry 4d long rants...dis poster's case disorganised my thinking..
Chinwenmeri.blogspot.com
And you expect someone to visit your blog with this rubbish you wrote.....go examine your self and stop being judgemental and stupid
DeletePoster pls get a job no matter how small the salary is,or start a small business...God be with you
ReplyDeleteShe actually slapped her husband out of pains and the emotional trauma, dat's d only way she thought she could let d pain out. I've been slapping and hitting my hubby since on thursday till dis mrning, found out he got another line with whc he has been carrying out his promiscuous activities, I took d fone and confirmed all I needed 2. He grabbed d fone from me and stoned it 2 d wall,picked d sim broke it and ran out, I was only able 2 pick d battery and back cover of d fone as my evidence. He's been begging, i've been crying cos even one of d numbers he denied nt knowing one time on his original line was saved on dis 2nd line and dey've been communicating, the babe even called me 2 say my hubby's been sleeping with my neighbour who was actually d person calling himas at d time i hrd d fone ringing under his car seat. I ignored her initially thinking she wanted 2 spoil my home. I've been through a lot of emotional trauma and d only way I vet is cry and hit my hubby, every 1 has their own way of vetting emotional anger. I dnt blame d lady in question. Let her just put herself 2gether and forge ahead. #thingswomengothrough
ReplyDeleteAwwwwww Mimi.
DeleteI'm so sorry for what your hubby is making you go through. The Lord is with you dear.
#ehugs
Your husband na Rambo besides I think he loves you but can't help cheating.. Hian....smashed fone, destroyed sim, ran,away and started begging.... Abeg na delta man he be?...God is in control
DeleteGod bless u @ Genny baby, I went thru he'll dis weekend only God saved me frm forced labour. I'm trying 2 see hw I can overlook his promiscuity for the sake of my health and unborn baby. @ orela Yes! he's deltan. Na so dem be?
DeleteGod bless u @ Genny baby, I went thru he'll dis weekend only God saved me frm forced labour. I'm trying 2 see hw I can overlook his promiscuity for the sake of my health and unborn baby. @ orela Yes! he's deltan. Na so dem be?
DeleteLolzz....delta guys sha...
DeleteMadam, ur prob isn't az enormous as u put it.
ReplyDeleteIf ur hubby insist on a divorce as u claim, doe unlikely of a naija man(cos dey r the head, n all dey can do is fustrate a woman, until she leaves)
Sit and discuss, how ur 3kids wld be taken care of.
I wld advice u pick ur 1st child and return back to ur father's house, dust ur certificate n go look for a job(biz aint ideal ie if u get financial hlp , as u mite eat in2 ur profit n capital).
U cld be visiting ur children frm ur father's place.
PLz settle ursef 1st b4 u carry the responsibilities of a man wu is hale n hearty.
No be only woman dey born pikin oo.
And find ur 1st husband, if a man divorces u, doesn't exempt him frm taking care of his kids.
U r letting ur emotional needs overide ur sense of reasoning.
Life must go on.
If u die, d responsibilities wey u create wu go handle am?
hmmm such a sad story, now first try apologising to d man nd pray he forgives u. after that start job hunting and d same time start learning a craft, either baking catering nd decor or sewing nd hairstyling just something worth it. I know you can survive but u Nid to be strong you Nid to have dis positive mentality of I can do it nd I can survive this only then can you make it, don't loose hope you will win after all.
ReplyDeleteIn as much as I feel very sorry for your condition I'm as well condemning you for slapping your husband you were wrong totally wrong Jeesssus how could you have raised your hands on him? Because he cheated on you? If you could slap your husband despite all he did for you and your financial handicap what then would you have done if you had been the one feeding the family?
ReplyDeleteHere are my few advice.
1. Go on your knees and ask God for forgiveness. When you're done with that prayer
2. Knee before your husband and ask for his forgiveneS as well it possible invite his family members and show how remorseful you are
3. Look for any amount of money no matter how little and start up small business even if it's just pure water
4. Change your ways, your manners learn how to honor and respect your husband. If he sees a great transformation in your attitude he will forgive you.
Whose idea was it to have 3 more kids coupled with the first one you had? Didn't you think of the economic factor and what it takes to raise kids in Nigeria before you had those kids even at below 30 years? What were you rushing at?
What have you been doing since after graduating aside producing children?
I will pray for you since that's all j can do for you and your family I pray for God's restoration of peace and harmony in your home
Are you mad? Go on her knees and beg the man that cheated on her? You people must be mad! No wonder that these dogs treat yall like dirty bones.
DeleteThis person must be really stupid. Did u not see d part where she said she spent all her allowee on him and d family, are u high? Wtf has he done for her that warrants him being treated like a god. I've slapped before just for suspicion of cheating and he just tried to calm me down. Men are way stronger abeg, they can handle one slap from our weak palms abeg
DeleteI can see how uncultured you guys are. Did you both read where she said she slapped her husband? If you are a man will you ever accept such from your wife? Yes she should not only kneel down but bow down before her husband and apologize
DeleteOn no account should anyone be it husband or wife lay hands on each other let alone a woman
I'm against cheat but as my culture and tradition demands it's a taboo for a woman to slap her husband
Na una sabi
Shut up, did you see all he did to her before the slap? The man is not divorcing cos of the slap.....while I don't condone slapping a man cos I have never done it in my 9 years of marriage, some of you women just come here to talk as if u are perfect wives......the man does not love her simple and short ......you don't abuse someone with their past when you knew about it before accepting to marry her.....no need to call any family to beg anybody.....apologise for the slap yes but if he insist with divorce too bad cos it's good riddance to bad rubbish......get your self a job or start a bizness no matter how small......your life will not end, and pls if at all this marriage ends take your time before going into any relationship even if na dangote....
DeleteThe woman is in need of help not your condemnation. If you can't advise or help her out with a job, please keep quiet. Many of you are from worse homes, dont come here to condemn somebody who is already broken.
ReplyDeleteU were very wrong to have slapped ur husband!
ReplyDeleteDo all u can to appologize to him but at the same time since u re in abuja!
Start going to all this ministry and booking to see the directors or even a minister!
Even private organizations
Book to see their ogas
Dress well and don't be shy to tell them ur plight
Start moving as plan B without him knowing
U can't just sit and wallow in self pity!
I was 26 wen I got divorced with 3kids and no work!
I relocated to abuja!
And there was no ministry I didn't enter!
I wasn't ashamed to tell them my plight and also let them know I need a supply job as hand out won't help me!
It help abeg!
Out of 10, at lease 6 did responded and the rest will sure make passes and give u peanuts
Be strong for ur kids and start hustling the hardest u can!
DO NOT SUCCUMB to pussy for jobs though!
Keep ur dignity as a lot of such temptation will come
Be strong and focus
If worse come to worse! U will leave his kids with him
Always pray!
God is ur strength
U re the 1st and not gonna be the last!
Wipe ur tear and THINK
U were twenty six and divorced??? Wow! Women are trying... I just keep wondering if marriage is worth the stress.. Unfortunately, its not getting any better! #phew!
Delete26 and 3 kids , u try!
DeleteThank you Stella for using my story.God will bless u immensely...And all those commenting and offering me advice,a smile,and above all prayers,May Jesus Christ in his mercy bless u all richly.Thank you. Its only he that wears the shoe that feels the pinch.My hubby has been crying and pleading for forgiveness but frankly am too numb and empty.He even asked his Mom to ask me to forgive him.I believe this is my wake up call.I have to get something doing for the sake of my sanity and self worth.All I put in God's hands.God bless SDK family.Thank u all.
ReplyDeleteIFEOMA OKAFOR
Mrs ifeoma okafor, go and get the message "anything is possible" by Rev Chris Oyakhilome and listen to it over and over again till it sinks.
Deletethank God he has appologised,let it go and stop scooping,get something doing,business or a job,something to better your life and that of your children
DeleteMay God bless n strenghten u dear
DeleteHey poster reach me on genevieveohale@yahoo.com
DeleteOk. That's some hope coming from you.
DeleteAfter settling with your husband or while having the settlement discussion with him, tell him you need to start up something. This present era we are in is not an era of 'i be full time housewife ".
Noooooo. Send your CV to Stella to post in our In-house news. While waiting for the job, get some cash from your husband and go learn a skill. Believe me, it sure pays.
Goodluck.
Warm hugs Ify!
DeleteNne,It is well with u...
This too Shall Pass,ok?
You need to work on yourself...ur self esteem is down in d gutter...and pls, love yourself more. it's only when you love yourself that you can improve. Talk to your soul...be Shrewd and wise...then be prayerful too. go find something doing and take good care of your kids which includes your hubby!
DeleteI pray that in 10 years, your marriage would still be strong and love filled!
!!omu Iya dun!!
Oh!
DeleteThank God he is apologising.
All hope us not lost then.
Ify please please when you make up with him get busy. Find something to do no matter how little and save like your life depends in it.
Don't ever use your money to run the home again! Saaaavvvvveeeee!!!!
I wish you all the best dear.
I'm happy to hear this dear. Pls tread carefully and be wise in your actions. #hugs#
Deletestrike out *had been
ReplyDeleteinsert *was
If I've learnt anything in this life it is this:
ReplyDeleteNOTHING STAYS THE SAME! Life goes on and as long as there's life there's hope. My prayers are with you. #bearhug
Marriage...hmmm....
ReplyDeletefirst of all, where is your mother?
secondly, a cheating man, i cannot condone also, any form of abuse, physically, emotionally or otherwise, i also cannot condone.
That being said, kneel down and pray. Tell your husband that you will give him a divorce if he insists but not yet, dont leave the house yet. Ignore his kukere waka and just live as flatmates.
you can look for any small school or creche around and apply, arent you a graduate? Even if its 10000, take it so you wont keep asking him for money to feed yourself and the kids.
start your gold business again . It is well, okay.....
To all the unmarried people who hear a lot of horrible stories, please note that marriage is meant to be enjoyed, even with the hiccups. Most marriages arent sour. There are housewives who are very happy so its not only about being a working mother. Above all, ALWAYS INVITE CHRIST.
Call on him before the marriage and in the marriage not after the problems arise.
There are a lot of married women who are happy on this blog. Maybe those of us enjoying our homes should send stella a message for chronicles.
It's a pity.
ReplyDeleteAs if you all are saint,dnt you think that he must have gotten so mad seeing the useless husband sexcapades. My dear if he insist on divorce,leave his three kids for him,pick up your first kid and go find something doing.This life na once or dnt try I repeat dnt try to kill urself for anyone,when those kids grow up let them search for you,nonsense and ingredients.
ReplyDeletedear ifeoma ok a for. your problem is you have no self esteem. The words you use to describe your husband- your shame coverer, your knight that saved you- that us your problem. You need to change your mind set and stop thinking of your self as a victim with a dirty past. what did he save you from? I am pissed sef. What's my own?
ReplyDeleteLooking for your daddy to give you 10k hisssss. you better start a business again and STOP HAVING BABIES
Stop snooping!!! Now that you've snoop and couldn't control your rage, you slapped your man, the person that you are meant to be under, what's the result now??? DIVORCE.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, sorry for your pains but your experiences now is your teacher. Don't ever give up rather sit up and fight this fight.
Ask your hubby for forgiveness first and since your getting a job ain't coming forth, please use tour plan B, self employed. Since you don sell gold before atleast you have an idea of business. Look for business to start, no matter how little the beginning is.
Prayer is the key to a peaceful & a happy marriage.
ReplyDeleteWhat a story
ReplyDeletePls pick up the pieces and start all over
It is well with you
Try and get something doing for now, u actually rushed into dis relationship but someone out there who is about to do same will learn frm dis. Get ur life back, some life experiences comes in a very hard way. Wish u luck
ReplyDeleteMy dear since he has apologised , your problem is solved .....find something doing no matter what and don't hit a man ever.No matter what he did to you
ReplyDeleteabeg leave gold business. they owe too much. u hardly find buyers that will pay once. your money will be so stuck except u have a jewellery shop.
ReplyDeleteas a foot soldier seller? naaah! forget bout it
@jayem ull always be a bastard . Oloshi jati jati. She should leave her kids and disappear ??!! U really are a fuu.
ReplyDeleteHmmm.....u slap ur husband cos u saw a lady conversation wit him on whatsapp, is nt even dat u caught him red handed on ur matrimonial bed oo wit her. Dats too bad. "I am very Sorry Honey" wil be d solution, jst try it.
ReplyDeleteAs at 12:09, there were not less than 74 comments, so poster analyse all comments and make use of them wisely....stop lamenting and do something about your life ASAP
ReplyDelete*Deep sigh* Madam you don't make the same mistake twice! First marriage was a big mistake, you came out and instead of improving on yourself you got into another and started making babies anyhow. Why should you slap your husband? why?..Good luck.
ReplyDeleteMake una investigate o before dropping any mola ppl be deceiving for money since 1000bc .
ReplyDeleteIf only we know what God is saving us from then we will not be afraid of tomorrow or what people will say... People will always say something. Its better to be alive and hear the bad, the good, the ugly about your life than to be dead.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, Stella blog is a bomb. The stories I read here changed my entire life. I was in an abusive, childless, humanizing marriage for yrs. I was so afraid to leave because of what people will say until I read here in the comment section where someone talked about 'letting go"". Everyone that comes into our life is not meant to stay for ever. People gave testimonies of how better they have become after the left an abusive marriage.
My dear, I left when every situation in my marriage seems so dark. I am honestly enjoying my simple and new life. No man in my life except God but I am 1000times good. I know very soon I will share my positive stories here. Its better to be single than to be married to the wrong man. Bad marriage kills quicker than cancer.
No use because of man kill ur self,be serious forget about love and marriage.brush ur self up and start looking for way to survive,better start doing money for hand back for ground.no be naijia .no matter how market go bad u must see ur type wey go follow u buy.stella make i no look for my commentoo.
ReplyDeleteStella please I'm not a robot o. Lol
ReplyDeleteMadam pls beg your husband and look for something doing ASAP
ReplyDeleteIfeoma, you are blessed. You are God's child and this is the time to seek his face. If your husband wants a divorce, what do u want. Do you want to stay or go. This is the time to be truthful to yourself. List out exactly what you want and get down on your knees and cry to God. He will NEVER forsake you. He will guide you on the right steps to take.You will not be put to shame.
ReplyDeleteYou should put all your hope and trust in God, that he will make a way for you. You are still alive and healthy. God certainly has a plan for you. The bible says that a mother can forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion for a child she just gave birth to, though she may forget, God will never forget you for he has inscribed your name at the palm of his hands and as long as you hope in God you will not be disappointed. So hold on, it will be well with you in Jesus name.
ReplyDeleteIts really annoying when someone comes up with a problem, instead of giving her solutions, people refer to her mistakes. dear poster..... one thing i know is dis... as far as u re married in church, God hates divorce, pray your self out. God does not give us temptations that is too hard for us to handle. hes aware of your situation . talk to God. u will be surprised at the turn out of things. 2. try to make your home peaceful... it wil be hard but keep been the loving wife and who kows God could work things to turn around for your good. al the best dear.
ReplyDeleteSo Stella the only thing that you noticed is that she slapped her husband that was cheating on her? Judgmental Bitch!
ReplyDeleteThe first marriage, I understand your predicament as you were really young.
ReplyDeleteBut unfortunalty it is hard for me to pity you. You did not develop yourself but went quickly into another relationship giving birth to lots of kids. You are not very strong, hence the reason you were not able to overcome your grief instead you used love as a way out of the pain you felt.
There is nothing you can do but pray to God, plead to your husband for forgiveness and do midnight prayers for your husband to change his mind towards you. He will change his mind but you also have to change your character. You are dependent on him so you must show him the respect he needs in order to get what you want. Then change your predicament, look for a Job and earn some cash. You views on life will change once you become independent.
As for your kids – DO NOT BE LIKE YOUR MOTHER. Teach your kids how to be independent individual so that history will not repeat itself. God be with you and ask God for wisdom so you don’t make the same poor decision again.
This sounds like a story, the rhymes, the words, it all sounds like a story from a magazine or something.
ReplyDeleteIf this is real, am sorry for being insensitive.
Pls beg your hubby to forgive you. Take all to God in prayers and think of how to financially empower yourself. Start little trade with little money. God be with you.
ReplyDeleteI do hope you get to read this comment. Remember that the power of life and death is in the tongue. What struck me most about your narrative is how you demolished your entire self with your tongue. Do you even know God, have you gone to Him, have surrendered and accepted that u can't do anything at all without His grace. All the things you called yourself, is that what God calls you?? Your negativity is overwhelming. You need to start professing the things you want in you life as if they already are. Who says your marriage can't be healed, who says hearts cannot mend and love instilled stronger than ever before? We have all made mistakes and you certainly have, why dwell in ur mistakes why not make the conscious effort to start doing right in the very little things up until the most difficult ones. God is bigger than alk these your issues and to condemn yourself like that......u really need to ask God for forgiveness.
ReplyDeleteawww mimi!
ReplyDeletehere...big hugs.
its gonna be ok. I think ur husband loves you greatly reasons he was trying to do away with all proof.
some men cheat openly like what can the wife do about it.
just keep praying for him.
pele dear
Dearest Ify, Your story made me shed some tears but thank God while reading through the comments I saw where you wrote He came to apologies, thatz good news.
ReplyDeleteYea, thatz an eye opener, forgive him and be very careful next time. Start your gold business again or better still look for another if you can't continue with the previous business. All the very best dearie!!!
With love,
Ella.
@genny baby pls dear if u can help me out i will really appreciate it, maybe email so i can reach u, i cant drop mine bcos am monitored.
ReplyDeletebabe if the guy does not want to stay with you... LET HIM GO. if you try to make him stay he will make your life miserable. I know a woman who has six children for six different men. the kids are all grown up now and are doing well. they are all graduates and married with children.she is seen as a respectable person in her village. Today she is doing much much better than the men who left her. her first son built a sophisticated house for her in the capital of their state. Abeg, if the man wants a divorce give him and let him go so that you will have time concentrating on taking care of your kids. you are all they have.use your energy and resources to take care of your kids instead of using it to try to keep a man who does not want to stay. my dear his going is his lose and not yours. if your husband wants to go.. LET HIM GO!
ReplyDeleteDarling, you need a mentality transplant. If you don't renew your mind, you may end up with a 5th hubby and still have a miserable home. Look at the way you qualified yourself, "am worthless, am nothing, am a failure...". Such negativity can drive even an angel away, let alone a man. If you attach so much worthlessness to yourself, why should your hubby want to be with you? If you can't stand yourself, why should anyone stand you?
ReplyDeleteA man who stood against all odds to marry you, is a man who really wants you in his life because he felt you were worth fighting for. You've allowed your insecurities and emotional baggage from your past push your man away. You didn't deal with the issues in your 1st marriage before you remarried and that's the major problem. Of course, your hubby will resent you because he thought you were worth the trouble but you've shown him you're not. Honey, you need to work on developing your self esteem. Self-confidence is one of the most attractive qualities a woman can possess.
Honey, you've been pressing the wrong buttons. You are unemployed and dependent yet not submissive , I didn't say subservient. You must submit to your hubby. There's no way slapping a man will help any situation. Baby, same way there's no excuse for a man to hit his woman, is the same way around. NEVER bring violence into your home. If you want to save this marriage, turn a new leaf. Create stability for your kids by being the best wife and mother. It's your attitude making your hubby ask for a divorce, it's a safe presumption from your narrative. As for your hubby throwing jabs at you regarding your past, it's unfortunate but very common in most marriages. When your partner annoys you, the knee jerk reaction is to hit below the belt by using his/her past as target practice. That's another reason to be careful what share during pillow talk because, it will be used against you during conflicts.
Finally, stop comparing your hubby with your dad. Honey, I'm sorry you lost your dad but the truth is, he pampered you so you've inadvertently used his affection as a standard with which you compare your hubby's affections . Love and respect the one you're with and leave the past in the past. Stop snooping around your hubby's gadgets, rather, use the energy to improve yourself and look for something to do like a job or a business, so you can have your own finances, no man wants a liability. A lot of marriages have their issues, you have the power to nip it at the bud or allow it blow out of proportion. All the best, honey. #e-bearhugs.
Too many kids, so little time, no space to grow. You were too desperate for love and affection.
ReplyDelete