Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.

This is very tricky!

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

FINANCES BETWEEN A COUPLE.

Stella Kork, good day and how are you doing? This is my chronicle, please share your thoughts with me. Thanks.

The Chronicles of Thursday is the reason am writing mine this soon. Some people commented that men don’t like independent women that they want to feel needed and depended on…..IF I HEAR!!!

I have been dating this guy (in his 30s) for more than a year now, wedding will be later this year. It’s a long distance relationship and we agreed to ‘no sex before marriage’. I have a good job, he too and earns more than me. At the early stage of the relationship, he sent me money once, bought gifts on few occasions (I also bought for him). Six months into the relationship I noticed he wasn’t giving me stuffs/money, he doesn’t send me any token for monthly upkeep, so I decided to start making demands. I asked the first time (to buy clothes), he gave me little. The next time, money for personal needs and  hairdo, his response was that I should fend for myself since am working. We argued. I tried to be gentle and cajole him, still nothing. Every other requests, he turned them down and maintained saying his duty is to take care of the major projects in the house when we get married like house rent, children’s school fees etc. that I should

 use my money to take care of myself. I was pained.

When I moved to my apartment, he didn’t even contribute, he said he doesn’t have money (by the way he was paid salary that week and said I shouldn’t ask him about his salary). On my birthday and Val’s day, he didn’t send any gifts, saying it’s a waste of resources which should be put to better use. I bought him cake and gifts on his birthday (this was to set an example),he was so happy…but he still told me later that anniversaries shouldn’t be celebrated, that it seems as if am materialistic. I just shock.

I am aware that his family depends heavily on him, but does that mean that he won’t put me in his budget plan? Don’t I matter too? If he gives me little I will understand, but not willing to give me anything again,scares the shit out of me. One time he asked me for money (200k) to give to his brother for business, I didn’t oblige; I also assist my younger ones in school monthly, not like I don’t have responsibilities. He can’t give me 20k but he wants 200k…oriegwu! He finds it hard to visit me because he believes the lady that should be visiting the man and not vice versa.

I thought that maybe he was no longer interested, I started withdrawing to give him space to walk away, he quickly noticed and complained, reassuring me of his love. I think this his “new stinginess” started after I told me of my plan to buy a land, if I see an affordable one. WAS IT WRONG TO HAVE TOLD HIM THAT? HOW CAN I MAKE HIM ASSUME HIS RESPONSIBILTIES AND BECOME MORE CARING? I know a wife should contribute to the family needs, am ready to. MARRIED BVS,PLEASE HOW DOES ONE DEAL WITH FINANCES IN MARRIAGE BETWEEN WORKING CLASS COUPLE? I see women complain of being neglected by their husbands, I don’t want to end up like that. I am independent and still trying to be dependent on my fiancé, but it aint working!

I have never been in a situation where i have had to question DH concerning money,he gives his all but then again,i have always been someone who is VERY INDEPENDENT,i love to spend my own money and feel good so instead waiting for him,i spoil myself..lol

Your boo makes sense,however it is too early for him to have taken up such a stand,this is normally done when you both have found your comfort zone with each other in the marriage.

There is a thin line between making sense and being stingy.

I hope this is not a stingy,self centred spouse alert.

I hope i made sense?