In House Gists On Saturday

All five Amebo gists on point but only one can be the winner...The winner gets 5k for their troubles.

Please read all amebo gists and We will count the winner from the comment section and announce before next weekend.

Please if you have meaningful amebo gist,send it in well edited to Stelakuko@hotmail.com and we will rate it.This should curb the kind of amebo gists being sent in....

...PS....Gists must not be too long or they will be automatically disqualified.

Amebo gists will only be Published on Saturdays from now on.

LEGGOOO.....

AEMBO NUMBER 1

YARNINGS FROM MAMA NNUKU KORK

Stella la kork.. awfa?

salutement to a lot of people in the house..

young people of this generation we are becoming lazy oo.. lol.. seriously why are we complaining no fuel? afterall our forefathers trekked to chad & somalia.. lmao

i miss una wella i swear, bloggy my mama awfa? irene shey owa pa? iyke david i am here haven't gone anywhere oo.. 

God dey! we started with fuel subsidy & we are ending with fuel scarcity..*roll eyes**

The gist:

Early in the morning my neighbor kid cry woke me up, dont ask me which neighbor just guess.. lol the kain panel beating wey that boy receive that morning from him papa hand, if na me person beat like that  na to collapse biko..  he don do, he don do, for wia? the man nor hear ooo.. wetin the pikin do he say he carry him 50 naira.. after the beating the child came out and was walking with one leg, the other leg don  handicap.. 

sholay say the boy and went close to him..

sholay : o subu lori okada ni? ( You fall untop bike?)

boy: no

sholay: motor gba eee ni? (motor jam you?)

that was when i burst out laughing, seriously you nor well i told him, sheybi na 10yrs old pikin you dey mock like this abi? God go forgive you.. mtcheeew.. 

i package myself and left for work.. no bus as usual thank God for brt, God bless our ex governor Babatunde Raji Fash.. eko oni baje ooooo.. 

Eyin temi na so we dey queue oo, when bus finally come we pack enter like tomato,  as the driver was driving, na so we begin hear from back 

''driver stop, i say stop'' lol.. 

Immediately the bus halted, people begin run down wetin dey worry them this one, ? na so wind just blow the thing come our side, chai it sent everyone off balance .. lmaooo.. who could have done this kind of thing? hahhahhahah .. i just notice say na only one bross nor send .. 

politely i asked bross something nor dey smell reach that side?

bross: wetin dey smell for your papa head?

me: oh.. but na queston na i see say na only you nor complain for this kain missiles wey dem throw..

bross: which missiles them throw for your papa compound?

 hahhahahhah in my mind i just concluded he was the one,the journey continue na so the bross dey look me bad eye reach where all of us go alight oo..  when we alighted do you know that this dude had the effontery to come and meet me? 

He said ''try that next time and see if i will not slap you, stupid child''

 he shouted... i took like four steps back and shouted you no gooo wash your belle with hypo? messy messy oshi.. lol before he could say jack i ran away , abeg i nor wan receive slap.. lol... 

Till i come una way next time make una chop kisser!

     *****signed mama nnuku kork*** of *sdkb***

     Stella nwam sheybi you know i love you dearly! incase you forget always remember that.. lol.. God bless you for me! and you too.. yes you.. and you and you..

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AMEBO GIST 2

IYA SOLO VERSUS IYA EMMA ADULTERY GIST.

Last night, there was no light and since my battery was dead, I felt so empty with nothing to do, so I carried myself from my house to my neighbour's house directly opposite me.

She is married with four children and even though she's got her issues, she's very great with people. I say this because from the little room and parlour they built, u would see her accommodating even anyone that comes from her village and is stranded. She's a Benin woman. Sometimes u go to buy something from her late at night and you'd see nothing less than 10 stranded people sleeping on the floor in their living room.

So back to my gist. Cos of d NEPA issue, I went to gist with her, she was sitting in front of her shop with my bro's baby mama, lol (she lives with us). She's way older than me but we relate like we are almost the same age. We got gossiping about the neighbours and one talk led to another and she said 'xxxxx, if I tell you the recent one that happened to me, you will shock' (her husband is a chronic cheat, BTW). So I asked her, hope baba Solomon never go carry another person again oh. She said the case is even worse than that.

 That was how she started gisting me about how mama Emma whom she took like a sister (the lady too is young), started frolicking with her husband. Let me give a brief history about mama Emma, when she and her husband or baby daddy first came to the area, they had nowhere to stay. She's Yoruba and dthe husband is IBO, so you see that she isn't even from iya solo's place but iya solo took them in, with no questions asked. Mama Emma gave birth to two of her 4 children under mama solo's roof. Iya solo sponsored the small naming ceremony they did on both occasion.

Back to the gist. Iya solo told me that one day like dat (baba Emma and iya Emma had already moved out by then living in one small house dey put together but still frequent her house). So on dis particular day the couple came to her house then the husband told her to please tell her husband to stop disturbing his wife for a relationship. Iya solo said she was so shocked she had to run to the toilet.

So when her husband came home that night, she didn't tell him exactly what baba Emma told him but went ahead to ask him why of all people it had to be mama Emma that he had to have an affair with. So baba solo started shaking and stuttering and couldn't even bother denying.

I see why people break their amebo gists into parts, I'm already tired sef, typing epistles is so tiring. But let me continue sha.

That was how baba solo started confessing, swearing with his children's life (he could still be lying, men can be so dramatic when caught) that that was how it happened. He said one day when he was in their parlour in his boxers and iya solo was in the shop, mama Emma came in and whether in the pretense of trying to charge fone, bent over in front of him and stayed almost forever plugging the fone. So he then had to tap her to move over that she was obstructing the view of the TV. She came forward, touched his blokos briefly and was like he should calm down na. She then went behind him and started massaging his shoulders. So he then warned her to stop that his wife could come in any moment. To cut the long story short, one thing led to another and they finally had sex, not in his house though.

Stella, this mama Emma looks like someone that can never hurt a fly, but she did something like this to someone who took her in, paid for the birth and naming ceremony of her two children.

So I asked her if she sha told the lady never to step foot in her compound again. She said no, that she has forgiven her and just asked her why she had to do that kind of thing to her after all she's done for her but she couldn't come up with any excuse other than she needed money. Ask why she and her husband came initially to ask to warn her husband and she said her husband started suspecting her and when he asked her, that was what she told him.

Cos iya solo refused to the dis lady to stop coming to her house, the shameless thing still had the guts to come ask her one day if she could ask  her husband if he could give her 2k and at dis point iya solo had to tell her maybe its best they both explained to the lady's husband why she felt the need to come ask her own husband for money. And the lady left.

Please I'm almost done.

What broke the camel's back was when iya solo noticed that yesterday when mama Emma's kids were sleeping on the floor of her living room, mama Emma was in the room where her hubby was sleeping claiming to be looking for wrapper. Iya solo then screamed at her to take her kids and get out.

Bvs, I'm sure I've wasted your time, please pardon me but I just had to share. Do not let anybody into your home cos you don't know who's gonna do what to you

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AMEBO NUMBER 3

CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE!!!

Una Welldone oo

As we wake this morning nai my mother tell me make I go cook because my lil brother don dey complain of hunger.

As I enter kitchen I carry yam I wan start to dey peel am naso my brother run come start to dey shout change change change.My mother call am ask am why e dey shout change change dey disturb the whole house.

My brother con tell my mother say since all this while na time table we dey use cook for this house and he don tire for the arrangement so we need to change our time table starting this morning and as e be say there is change in the air and been the baby of the house everybody agreed.

Whereas he no like yam he just use style dodge.

#teamchange

Lekwa ukwu

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AMEBO NUMBER 4
The man and the prostitute

Aproko nor be work so make una manage my story as una see am. One early morning wey people dey jejely mind their business, na so one babe jack one man for trouser O, she dey holla, you must pay me my money O. Before stammerer say Jack Robinson, aprokos dem don gather. Wetin happen, wetin happen? 

The babe say the man shine her congo all throughout last night, turn her wella like eba, say she even do reach 900degree and her body just dey do her like who dem panel beat yet the man nor wan green pay her. Trust naija people; everybody come dey holla, ''oga pay am nau, pay am nau...you shine congo, you nor wan pay''

. Nau the man say, him nor do anything O, say him na good samaritan, say him dey drive jejely dey go work, na the babe beg am for lift...bla bla bla. Aproko people nor even let the man finish, everybody just dey holla; 

''oga pay her nau..pay her the money''

. The man come say before him pay the runs babe any penny, him must call e wife O. Choi! See the leg wey the man wan carry come O (aproko dem begin to whisper). 

E nor tae, the man wife show. Oga come yarn madam the koko of the matter, na the wife face runs babe dey holla; 'don't go down there and rake O', my oga and me sleep for same bed last night and we even do some skelewu, bla bla bla. Runs babe still dey insist say she and the man go moon come back last night and the man must pay am. Nau the oga madam come ask runs babe one ogbonge question; 

''Oya you say you 'jigi jigi' my oga throughout last night''

..the babe holla, yes nau...na oga wife come ask the babe...Oya which colour of boxer my oga wear. 

Fellow aprokos open mouth when this babe turn to stammerer O...ermmm blue...ermm green...errrrm white (Choi she for kuku say na rainbow boxer). 

Na oga madam come talk say her husband wear red boxer. She come beg her oga to show  the aprokos present him boxer. Na the man come model him boxer like one original tolotolo for the aprokos dem; the boxer na correct sparking red.  Na so the association of aprokos come fasten dier seat belt for runs babe matter O..them almost kill her. 

So my fellow women of the republic , make una know say better men still dey this obodo Nigeria. Time wey una take dey snoop make una use am dey pray for una oga so that him go be like dat 'sparking red boxer' oga.  This na kokoqueen reporting live from obodo Nigeria *Peace*

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AMEBO NUMBER 5

FLOGGING OF AN NYSC CORPS MEMBER IN KATSINA

Sorry my battery is low oh, can't gist so much.
There's been crisis in my camp oh.
Soldiers have been really lenient, only for the camp commandant to call them out and punish every single one of them, immediately after the punishment the soldiers received, they became mad harsh, chasing us like goats.

Earlier today a sick boy who went to the clinic was punished, they chased boys out wearing boxers And asked them to roll in the sand.
Afterwards one soldier hit and broke his stick on the said sick boy.
The boy sat at parade ground and was crying hysterically, state coordinator came to beg him to go to the clinic, a full grown man, he refused and said all he wanted was his bag so he leaves camp as he's no longer interested in serving Nigeria.
At the moment, the boy has been displaying, everyone says he's lost his senses, clinic had to give him sleeping injection.
Some people got the video of the actual flogging.

Corpers started protesting and camp officials including the state coordinator had to plead with us all to come out so they apologized.
According to them, the soldier has been decamped and will face panel or so.
Our corpers were so cheap, they were hailing these officials, some of us are still so pissed and hope the boy gets better when he's awake.