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Monday, July 20, 2015

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratives.

Na wah!






NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
THE CUSS OUT SPOUSE
Good day 
 I'm a dedicated reader of your blog and sending this in for me to know bvs point of view,please hide my details...the issue now is I'm a new mum for the first time, although I gave birth early February, and my marriage is going to 3yrs now,we are both graduates and i was working in one small private organisation but due to the fact that my pregnancy got complicated at 2nd trimester i had to resign, DH is contract staff in a private firm(just about 2yrs in the firm) so pay is low, as baby don involve expenses are high and we don't even have savings and this is causing a lot of strain between us.

 I understand the burden alone is too much for him to bear if pay was high this issue will not even come up, why I'm putting this forward is that any small misunderstanding we have he keeps saying "go and find work, other wives are working, you demand too much(mind you the only thing I ask for is concerning what the baby needs) "all the burden is on me, rent will soon expire, see all the provisions don finish you eat like rat, if you are working e for good, see baby milk we buy which day don finish how you dey do am " etc .

it makes me feel so bad and i cry (I'm very emotional)most times to sleep, coupled with the fact that its just me and baby as we can't afford a helper,this situation got me thinking that the fact I don't have a job and Dh always rubbing it in my face is really affecting my self esteem (if the case was reversed I won't do same to him) I don't have money would have started any small business oh, please I want to know how other moms got back on their feet in similar situations.


Women who have jobs and get pregnant should stop resigning abeg....I know preggy is stressful,especially for first timers but take a leave instead and go back to work as soon as you finish weaning your baby!..I am sorry bout your situation but i guess your hubby is under financial stress.why dont you discuss with him that you would like to start some kind of business?why dont you approach your old job and see if theres vacancy?


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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
WHO TAKES THE CHILD?
My friend needs advice on this issue . 2yrs ago, he met this girl(let's call her bella and my friend Emma) few months they started dating, Bella got pregnant without knowing it. Her people started noticing signs in her and then took her to hospital where doctor confirmed that Bella was already 2 months pregnant. She called Emma and told him what happened and that hevis responsible for it buh Emma denied the pregnancy. 

Bella's people also called him to come and claim his unborn child and also pay their daughter's bride price Buh Emma still denied and refused marrying the gurl.They then told him that if her doesn't marry her now that she's still pregnant, that if she puts to bed he will no longer be the father of the baby that the baby will be theirs (Bella ' s family). Still, Emma didn't show up and that broke Bella's heart though she was still in love with him. Few months later she gave birth to a baby boy, she still continued her love with the guy. Emma on the other hand, fell in love with his child and then begged bella for him to have access to his child if he should marry her which bella accepted. Just last year Dec, he did her intro and bride price with his people buh something went wrong and after a few months when he demanded for his child the family refused. He told them that if they don't give him his Child he will return their daughter. Stella guess what?... they called him to come and collect the money he paid that he didn't pay for the child price too. Right now, he has collected his money and the gurl is not with him either. Now, his planning on reporting the family. Is he right or wrong?  


So when he married her,the family held unto the child still?Well i guess they were serious about their threat.He has not married her legally and if the child's name has not been officially documented as his, the child belongs to the mother.

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NARRATIVE NUMBER THREE
SEE FINISH SYNDROME IN MARRIAGE

 I really need the opinion of married men and women on this blog.How do I avoid the typical "see finish" syndrome in my marriage?I have been married for 4 years.my husband no longer gives me attention.he hardly compliments me or tells me sweet words.it was not so during courtship and early marriage phase.we hardly even kiss now.we have two kids.


After our first child was born my hubby stopped making sexual advances.3 months post partum he never even initiated sex.same thing after my second delivery.I am not overweight and i am good looking.most times I initiate sex.every time I have a heartfelt conversation about our sex life he makes effort to initiate after which he relapses into the same old pattern of not making sexual moves.sometimes we have sex once a  month.


sometimes twice a month.we some times even go sexless for over a month till I decide to make a move.This makes me feel bitter towards my hubby because its really affecting myself esteem.i hear gists from women on how their hubby's always want to make love to them but mine is the other way round.i cant even discuss this with any friend or family.Most times when I talk to him about it he says its because of financial responsibilities. 

he's been struggling financially for sometime now.but I don't believe thats the reason.some women use sex as a tool to manipulate their hubbys(am not saying that is right) I cant even think of that kind of shakara cos my hubby hardly ever initiates.Please I need honest advice from bvs on this.I feel so alone in my marriage and this lack of intimacy from my hubby is making me doubt his fidelity.I snoop around his phone but I have not been able to find any concrete evidence for me to conclude if he is cheating.hubby is the type that must hang out with his friends for a drink every evening till 9pm.



His Libido is probably low from stress and alcohol.I dont know what you can do right now but perhaps if you stop nagging about sex and try to make him look forward to coming home,you might claim back the intimacy thru communicating with him...Do you understand?He is staying away till late becos he has no desire too nack you!





133 comments:

  1. Make I read comments first.
    Will be back

    ********LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*******

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol

      This girl cracks me up

      Delete
    2. Stella Abeg no say that one o, because your pregnancies were smooth does not mean u should be insensitive to other people's plight. the Nigerian economy, private companies in particular no dey give these long sick leaves. It's not a love affair , they are there to make money and if u can't be ok in 2 weeks , then sorry you got to go. It's abroad u can go on long sick leaves and return to work, that one no dey work for naija , so I understand her plight .
      I lost my first pregnancy late second trimester, next pregnancy. Had to stop work to make sure baby stayed till full term. Some people are lucky o , while some are not

      Delete
    3. Poster 1 pls try to find ways to relieve hubby. Breastfeed instead of buying formula, buy happy to use when you are at home and keep the disposable diapers for when you are going out or have guests. Cook him good food yet cheap. And don't ever cry pls.., sooo many people are crying to God day and night for a miracle like that

      Delete
    4. Poster 1 pls try to find ways to relieve hubby. Breastfeed instead of buying formula, buy happy to use when you are at home and keep the disposable diapers for when you are going out or have guests. Cook him good food yet cheap. And don't ever cry pls.., sooo many people are crying to God day and night for a miracle like that

      Delete
    5. All three narratives are so interesting. Lots to learn from them.

      No 1; my sister please find something to do. Go learn a craft or something if getting another job is difficult. If your hubby can't give you the money, sweety, talk to your parents or any one in your family who can assist you.
      You can't continue receiving those insults from your husband. By the time you start making your money, watch him treat you like a queen. It is well with you.

      No 2: the girl's family have very strong tradition. Are they Ibo's? If they are, forget it. That child is theirs.
      He has to thread softly and very wisely. Gra gra no go pay in this case. Alot of pleadings has to be done by him and his family to the girl's family. He caused it by rejecting the girl and pregnancy in the first place. So he should accept whatever crap they throw his way.


      No 3: You need to handle your husband's low sex drive issue very carefully so you don't push him away completely. The crumbs you are getting now, nne manage it till he gets better and only you can help him get better.

      Therr are libido enhancing foods and fruits you can feed him with. Pls google.

      Good luck.


      Need a yummy Birthday/Wedding cake in Abuja? Home / office delivery. Also send a gift of cake to your loved one in Abuja.Pls click on my ID to see pics and my contact details.

      Delete
    6. All this chronicle stories just dey annoy me that's why I avoid reading them.
      so the guy wants to eat his cake and have it? no child for him biko,he even go collect the bride prize what kind of a fellow is that?

      Good luck to those trying to beat em Jay the robot,she's programed to be ist to comment.

      Delete
    7. Em jay, why puttn women to shame on dis blog eh... Ure just displayn how low ur IQ is.

      Delete
    8. P1. The problem with our generation is dat ppl go into marriage without first know what it entails and that is the crux. Men SSE marriage asvavenue to have unrestrained sex without strhgglingbwith cincience. Women see marriage the same way plus avenue for someone to carry their every problem. When the realities dawn ibbbecomes a huge problem. Women claim they marry for love but when the money isn't there they say love alone doesn't sustain marriage. Men claim they love a woman before they marry her and shenbthe reason to show love comes they beginbto antagonise the wife.hahaha. a man dat doenst provide for the family is worse thanban infidelm but did it his much the provision should cost? No. The problem with women is they determine what they want and then give thebmanbthe task of providing it anyhow. They don't streamline what they want according to what the husband has. Postsr you and youur husband meet councelling which you can't get from the cacophony of voi es on the blog. Truth is your husband doesn't know that he will face a new set of challenges when you start bringing in money so it's not about you working or not. With ykhr meager income both of you can feed yourselves and still be happy. Tellbme who knows what me and myvlittle baby ate today. Also all the people that cook a pot of soup with 5k don't always look healthier than those withv3k. Both of you should go to a proffessional counselor and be ready to be truthful

      P2 please people should stop telling us it is about my friend or my relation sent me.bbe bold to say am the one after all somebody's problem can't be more important to you than than the person that has it and yet refuses to open up. That said, whether you lay bride price or not your biological child is yours. Whether you take care or the child or not its gkjr child and only the child has the right to decide what to do with absdntes father. No one claims an unborn child. Marriage is not by force preg or no preg finally this your friend that seem not to have family should go to court prove he is the father and claim fatherhood. I didn't say claim the child because child belongs to two ppl. Woe betidw you if test shows that the child was fathered by her other bf

      P3 you only problem is you are sad that you cant manipulate the man with sex like other women whose husbands think with their blokos. You therefore nag his libido away. But any do women claim they 'give' sex to their sex starved bfs only to turn round and cry sex starved after marriage. Poster what is wrong if you initiate sex every time. Is that you fear he will tell us or you fear that makes him not to be subject to your strings?

      Delete
    9. Hmmmm.... Nawa o

      Delete
    10. Em jay pls wen are u gonna prove us wrong and give an advice to a chronicle?. Anyways poster 1, am sorry abt the financial stress but u really need to look for something to do.
      Poster 2 that ur frnd must be high, there is nothing he can do, if he wans to claim the child he shud bring himself down go the Bella's family and ask dem wat will it cost him to have his baby back, ofcos in oji River that's the tradition, if the Bella is from oji river then u have to do some rituals and pay some fees before you can then claim ur child.
      Poster 3 I don't knw wat to say in ur case .

      Delete
    11. Sarah imitate positive pple,it will do u a whole lot,u will never see her comments bcos u re blind,anno15:56,Ewu Ewu,madam high IQ,i can see hw high ur mumu iq is,is she using ur strength to type??? If she comment wahala,if she nor comment trouble.

      Em jay booyaa,spot on bae,i like ur style,she nor send any banga.
      Pary God give me a spirit like urs.

      Delete
    12. Anoy 18:15, ogini bu ka biko, are u em jay in anoy form pls if u are am happy for that comment oo, becos its the first tym am seeing say some apart from Jesus fix it or lemme read comments. but if ure not then my middle finger goes to u

      Delete
    13. Sarah Shigaba's 1st husband20 July 2015 at 22:16

      Lmspao! I don't read laugh tired. I beg make I sit down read comments. Em Jay! Em jay oooo! Abeg bring one seat come make I sit down. Bless you child

      Delete
  2. Yo. Did i beat em jay to it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you're the way you're striving to be FTC is the way you're passionate about Nigeria, it will be a better place. Tsk Tsk

      Delete
    2. Nop you did not and y do you wana beat her to it?

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. Lol..poster two I only got your back.in this matter

      The baby is legally the mothers

      Delete
    2. Stella, nigeria is not that easy o. They will over work u till u break. Taking leave? Which leave,in nigeria? Private firm for that matter. Poster 1 pls go search for a job and also talk to ur hubby about starting a biz.

      Poster 2. He came back to marry the girl cos of the child if not he won't return the bride price. They should not give the child to him.

      Poster 3. Like stella said,your hubby has low libido

      Delete
  4. Yo. Did i beat emjay to it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SDK nah i dont agree with u at all. I once dated a guy like dat. He hangs out with his friends everyday till about 9 or 10.He works from morning to 6. Maybe its a way he unwinds. Its not cos he doesnt want to "nack" her. Thats all.

      Delete
    2. Are you sure he's not trying to discover his true self like Bruce jenner did? Hmmm

      Delete
    3. Are you sure he's not trying to discover his true self like Bruce jenner did? Hmmm

      Delete
  5. Poster 1

    This life is very funny. While your hubby wants you to work, i am always quarreling with my spouse to stop conventional 8-5 work and pursue her passion and fill her years with non-slavery life. I can chest every every.

    Poster 2

    Craze pipooooo. Return kini?

    Poster 3

    At least read a little about etcetera's visual stimulation he tried to explain in his article. That will give you a little insight.


    ehen, that reminds me sef

    ON ETCETERA’s article

    On a side note, Etcetera wrote an article on WHY men cheat. While I agree with some of the points raised, I also do not agree with some. This is because individuals are singularly uniquely responsible for their actions. And we must also accept the fact that most analysis on human behavior are summaries, and must have chunks of exceptions But let me make this as brief as possible. Now listen….

    I appreciate Etcetera for putting in some effort in his analysis. I would have expected same from Joseph Edgar, but the latter was too full of hate to sustain an argument we would benefit from.

    Most people, in their hasty nature to inflict judgement, are actually missing the point on who should even argue with him. A man that does not cheat has no right to argue, simply because for him not to be a cheat, the “DNA” doesn’t fit his personality. A woman has no right to argue, simply because she is not a man that cheats. The only set of people that have the right to argue are those who CHEAT, but do so not for the reasons Etcetera has enumerated in his article. Only then, can an argument that holds water even start in the first place. The argument is not “should men cheat?”

    What Etcetera referred to as DNA is actually what has been learnt from the environment…. Socialization. This is entirely another long topic of its own.
    When I was still staying outside Nigeria, I met some Arabs whom have never met anyone from Isreal before, but still had the Arabian kind of hatred for anything Isreal. Now if someone writes an article on WHY Arabs hate Isrealis, and puts a stamp on it as the universally accepted reason, the only set of people who can refute that article are not non-Arabs, nor Arabs who love Isrealis….. but Arabs who hate Isrealis for a different reason not captured by the article…

    Let me leave this here. But please we have to be more patient and analytical in our arguments.


    Posters, no vex, i no get much to talk today

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So u are married? Chai women dey marry nonsense..I pity her already...hehehehehe.

      Delete
    2. If you come talk much you go collect extra sheet be that. Today wey you talk like human being you done chop today so.

      Delete
    3. Lmao
      If u con get much to talk nko?

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    4. So you're married? Interesting

      Delete
    5. Spot on dear,so on point.

      Delete
    6. You are always you if i hear say you change your name i go deal with you


      #richbee#

      Delete
    7. You are always the only one from my point of view who is always realistic in this SDK blog universe. My point is always that cheating means taking what is not yours or more than what is yours. That being the case therefore men should not be accused of cheating because what women call cheating is men spending their pocket money( not family's upkeep or woman's due pocket money ) on whom they want. On an ordinary level the money the woman spends is given BT the man and he doesn't pocknose as to what he spends it on .for example my gf who says she can't call me becos she has no air time and I buy for her uses it to call those I don't care to know turns round to accuse me of cheating once she knows I bought airtime for another girl irrespective of why. In friendship a woman has right to fuck as many men as she likes, it is not cheating except if they both had a preagreement to that. At the same time she should be ready to take it if her bf takes a walk after finding out. Also the same applies to the man. Now many women will simply take a walk the very minute she discovers that her bf is seeing another woman. Very very few because women already believe that every man does that so what's all the fuss about. Finally no man I n mean no man will retain a woman for a minute once the woman tells him she fucks another man. But every woman and I mean every woman who hears that from his man would first try to get commitment that that won't happen again. At all times before a woman leaves a marriage or relationship on her own she secures an alternative first. Me on the other hand don't need a standby alternative before quitting since they know they will get as soon as they want

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    8. You have spoken well. God bless you.

      Delete
    9. Mmyflawws,for the first time in my entirety of being ur fan on this blog,u made no sense at all!u made no sense abt d ETC issue,dat Mr Edger was full of bill according to u pple,doesnt mean u should be full of big big english,baseless unrelated arguments!my head dey ache me in trying to understand wat u said my friend.#scratches hair#no vex

      Delete
    10. Mmyflawws..you just typed rubbish and Youngman simply compounded it with something worse off. Crappy write up

      Delete
  6. Hmmmmmmm.
    Poster 1
    Broke men are usually very bitter. Why did you marry a poor man? Come to think of it, isn't he the father of the baby that drinks milk too much?
    What's wrong with all these local talkative poor men?
    Isn't it his job to provide for his family?
    I hate and would not tolerate any form of verbal abuse from my spouse. You better watch your mouth and the things you say to me, because I'm so in love with myself to know I deserve better.
    Which one is "You eat too much"?
    Warn him, and tell him to watch it!

    Poster 3
    Please, get a boyfriend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NAwa for this your comment o

      Delete
    2. What type of foolish talk is "why did u marry a poor man? Y do u talk like ur brain is in ur anus? U people just come on this blog and spit trash, even if u married a rich man, is that enough reason to rub it in someone else that her hubby is broke? Meanwhile, I just hope u married dangote or his son, if not u fuck up. Smh.

      Delete
    3. I am all in for a man taking care of a woman but a woman should still earn something no matter how little.
      Yes he is wrong for the verbal abuse but madam quiksilver do you know the price of pampers and baby food? I mean have you bought them recently.
      Marry first now and see how it is to run a home. Maybe when you need pad your husband will also get it for you cos na you go first marry. Awon alapa stainless

      See your mouth like get a boyfriend why not lend her yours kwanu. From your comments it is obvious not to take you seriously.

      Delete
    4. God forbid that I marry a broke ass man.
      they are always bitter n angry.
      Poster 1 didnt u guys plan ur finances before marriage?
      Some pple just think getting married is the end..pele oo madam..it is ur cross,u have to bear it..
      Poster 2
      Why did your friend accept the Emma guy again..that guy is bad news and I love the girl's parents already...
      Poster 3 ur man is cheating..
      Sex is not food...get busy plz
      U should be happy he isn't sleeping with you now.before he will give u one yamayama disease.

      Delete
    5. Why did you marry a broke man abi? And someone sent in a mono that you should marry for money and you asked WHY!

      #richbee#

      Delete
    6. Poster 3 if you like, listen to these whores and semi harlot and get a bf, them go soon pursue you from husband house.

      Delete
    7. Richbee, what are you on about?
      Stop blabbing and learn to type sensibly.

      Delete
    8. Nikkybaby, STFU, you frustrated fool!
      Am I the "causer" of your misery?
      Quit barking like a rabid dog under my comments, thank you.


      Doppelganger, lol...actually,yes. You guys need to stop taking me seriously. Hehehehehehe

      Delete
    9. Richbee forget dat quickogun jor,cheap publicity,go get a life stupid asshole,soda forming klin,have u eaten today,ur gutter mouth like "BROKE".

      Delete
    10. Not becos this is a blog, you open your mouth and spew trash. For the fact you are commenting with an id should make u reasonable cos most times here people are associated with their id even when they are not known on a one on one basis. To your stupid comment on why she married a poor man, a rich man today can become poor man tomorrow and vise versa. So if you think you are rich now, good luck to you and am sure you don't know what it entails to run a home, if you know you won't type that.

      Delete
    11. Abeg what does it entail to run a home? Your child and wife and he is vomiting rubbish to the woman..... It's a different thing if she just refuses to work...he is self centred and wicked simple....

      Delete
    12. Quicksilver u have been a frustrated fool right from ur mothers womb, and that's y u think everyone is possessed like u. I made my point, if u don't like it, bitch strangle urself your death. U are a church rat, don't come to sdk and start claiming. Iwu onye aguru, deal with it mehn.

      Delete
    13. This quick silver you are a Bastard I would like to see you in person I bet u a broke ass bitch always depending on man for everything

      Delete
  7. Poster 1,
    Biko start looking for another job..
    Your husband is not man enough!!...

    Poster 2,
    Emma is a fool that wants to eat his cake and have it back..
    He should cover his face in shame...I like the way Bella's family is dealing with him...
    Nonsense!!...

    Poster 3,
    Story!!...
    Your husband is cheating kpomkwem!!...
    Get your self a boy friend and ignore him...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now i no why people don't like you @ get your self a boy friend


      #richbee#

      Delete
    2. Well said

      Delete
  8. Pls bvs pray for my DH to receive sense, he acts so childish and foolish atimes, telling anyone who cares to listen what's up in his life.
    Any one in d same shoe with me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You marry a talkactive....ololololol, deal with it
      Married woman

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    2. sorry dear some men are like that

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    3. You married a radio, your marriage is an open book, abeg which version I go buy read???

      Delete
    4. Put in his full name, so my prayer can be specifically directed to him.... No shame for sickness oh.

      Delete
    5. Me too...DH isnt a talkative but he has no secret, evry1 in his office knows I jst got a Job, evry1 knows his 2nd car is a gift, that pisses me off big time

      Delete
  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank God!

    At least me "men" ve stopped cheatin...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Poster 1 sorry o how stressful was the pregnancy that you had to resign and you didn't have savings or what. How can you resign a job when there is the option of leave or letting your boss know the situation even if its to take leave without pay, at least you know you can always go back to work.
    I don't believe pregnancy complications made you leave. There is no work and you left yours.
    Too bad I can imagine how stressed your hubby is, did you even discuss your resignation with him before you left? I doubt that.
    Try gather some money for business but then I doubt you can do business cos it isn't easy too and you seem lazy. Pregancy complications but did you die. All the women I know who leave under this guise are lazy. I know women who work under harsh conditions till the day they deliver.

    Poster 2 some tribes do it. They won't give you your child at all if you like marry the girl legally.
    Why did your friend deny his child in the first place I truly dislike people like that. Imagine the shame the girl went through but then that's her price for getting pregnant before marriage. Anyway he wasn't ready to marry the girl, he should go and beg the girls family

    Poster 3 hmm your matter na God hand e dey or yours. Stop pestering him for sex unless he is getting it outside he'd come around.
    Men go through so much stress at times and it affects them more than it does women. Try to talk to him too. Goodluck

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @ dopplgngr I dont undatsnd the need of ur analysis to poster 1, cos am sure u read where she said she worked with a SMALL PRIVATE FIRM, where most of their staff dont even have the benefit of observing annual leave talkmore of maternity leave, I have heard of some private firm that sack der staff when they get preggy

      Delete
    2. I don't know if u are a man or a woman, but going by what you said about pregnant women resigning; you have no idea what some pregnant women go through. Just cos some have it easy, doesn't mean others do. So please, watch what you say about pregnant women.

      Delete
    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    4. You can't judge people like that it is very wrong. I don't have problems when I'm pregnant till delivery, it is so simple for me that I will drive myself to the hospital and be coordinated at the same time. But I have seen what other women went through. Some are even confined to bed in the hospital so that they can monitor them.

      Delete
  12. Marriage wahala in every chronicle, make all of Una carry Una cross, Na wetin una sign for, for better for worse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Angelray for once in your life u are right, this stupid miserable married women here will be calling singles here aunty gwegwe nonsense.

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    2. Lol babe u dey vex oh, but I support make Una carry Una cross.

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    3. Hahahahhahaha.. this just cracked me up.

      Delete
  13. I honestly agree about women not resigning their jobs due to childbirth but in a case like this where she had a complicated pregnancy what was she to do? Request for an extended leave maybe? If only the part time (half day)work culture was encouraged in Nigeria new mums would have it easier. Madam if you can find someone to give you a loan you can start a small business to keep body and soul together while you look for a job if you want one, hopefully there'll be someone to watch your baby. May the good Lord see you through.

    Y'all good people should visit my very entertaining lifestyle blog. Happy holiday everyone.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Some pregnant women are just too lazy, they get pregnant and resign from their job. NAH WAH!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just wait until u get pregnant, then you can talk

      Delete
    2. Miss truth av u been pregg before??? I left my work coz sickle cell crisis and pregg wasn't funny and d organisation asked me to keep working or resign. Poster1 try and get something doing,even if it's a hand made work,ur husby is under a lot of stress that's why his reacting like that. Just talk to him and hear what he wants and see if you both can both make a decision. Poster3 oga is under financial stress and that's why his acting like that. Just forget sex and think of other things to work on in ur marriage and you ll see a big difference. Best of luck ladies!!

      Delete
    3. Shut up please. Do u think pregnancy is so easy on every woman?

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    4. Don't u guys read properly! She said she had complications in her second trimester. What did you expect her to do? Make una dey read well before commenting.

      Delete
    5. You that is not lazy how many kids do you have and where do you work?

      #richbee#

      Delete
  15. @ poster 2 try as much as possible to see if u can get another job, so to ease the pressure at home. Sorry about ur plight. Its well

    @poster 2 since he has decided to marry the said girl, why hold on to the child, after all its his, hmmmm am sure now he has recieved the bride price I doubt if he can get custody of the child bcos of his initial action, denying the pregnancy

    Poster 3 maybe u try some of KEHINDE and irene b move, when u take him to cloud 9 and bk he w d always want sex. Just try it, no harm at all

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  16. Popcorn pls n a cup of smoothie, am yet t read comments.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hmmm. Taking care of kids and working is not easy though

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  18. Marriage oh marriage! Na wa....

    ReplyDelete
  19. THELMA ENEMUWE said...
    Today's chronicles di kwa one kind..
    Poster1--try get a job,ur hubby is obviously stressed out finncially hence the transfer of aggresion..

    Poster2--bella's family are not serious,why deny emma his child after his marriage to their daughter?...emma also lacks patience,he would have tread with caution and appease bella's family instead of collecting back his dowry and ending the union...

    Poster3--please take a deep breath and calm your nerves,stop nagging him about sex and become his friend instead,why on earth will your hubby prefare the company of his friends to yours??,moreso,advice him to stop drinking as this might be affecting his libido..it is well with you.
    *faithful BV enemuwe thelma*

    ReplyDelete
  20. THELMA ENEMUWE said...
    Today's chronicles di kwa one kind..
    Poster1--try get a job,ur hubby is obviously stressed out finncially hence the transfer of aggresion..

    Poster2--bella's family are not serious,why deny emma his child after his marriage to their daughter?...emma also lacks patience,he would have tread with caution and appease bella's family instead of collecting back his dowry and ending the union...

    Poster3--please take a deep breath and calm your nerves,stop nagging him about sex and become his friend instead,why on earth will your hubby prefare the company of his friends to yours??,moreso,advice him to stop drinking as this might be affecting his libido..it is well with you.
    *faithful BV enemuwe thelma*

    ReplyDelete
  21. THELMA ENEMUWE said...
    Today's chronicles di kwa one kind..
    Poster1--try get a job,ur hubby is obviously stressed out finncially hence the transfer of aggresion..

    Poster2--bella's family are not serious,why deny emma his child after his marriage to their daughter?...emma also lacks patience,he would have tread with caution and appease bella's family instead of collecting back his dowry and ending the union...

    Poster3--please take a deep breath and calm your nerves,stop nagging him about sex and become his friend instead,why on earth will your hubby prefare the company of his friends to yours??,moreso,advice him to stop drinking as this might be affecting his libido..it is well with you.
    *faithful BV enemuwe thelma*

    ReplyDelete
  22. Poster one.
    Please go back to work.
    Apart from even assisting your hubby(which to me is not a sole reason for wanting to work),you should have something to fall back to please!
    A business online,a shop,or even a white collar job. You need to always have a little something in your account dear.
    Next time you take in,be strong young woman! Have the mind set that pregnancy is a time to do shakara,Refuse to be down,refuse to be pitied,put a smile on your face and waddle to work..Lol

    Poster three
    Your man is obviously weighed down by the financial pressure,stress and probably can't handle life with kids(the constant cries and interruptions)
    Well,you can't keep waiting until he hits it "big" before experiencing the romantic part of your relationship.
    Personally,a night out helps a great deal,that is if you have someone that will take care of the kids.
    Encourage him more,make it your business to know one or two things about his work..bring ideas...Assure him that things will get better.
    That hanging out EVERY evening with his buddies till 9pm is equally encroaching into your own time.. Work on that his routine dear.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hard chronicles today sigh

    Poster 1,
    What do we say now? Ur man is going through a lot , if u were the one footing all the bills trust me you would snap .its just too much pressure. Anyway just be patient .. And feed ur baby enough breast milk to limit baby food ...God is ur strength

    Poster 2 .
    Since its their tradition and Emma was warned , I have no advise .if he didn't take their advise earlier on , why would he take mine now ?

    Poster 3
    Hmm . Heavy sigh
    Use reverse psychology
    Stop pestering him for sex . Get a good vibrator.
    Eat healthy ....look good , wear shorts around the house , make ur nails - go see a movie when u can .join a gym... Ur life centers around him and he knows it ,now take the focus away from him .and see what happens

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @poster 3, best advice for you.

      Delete
    2. U r d only person with a reasonable suggestion for poster 3. U b my kind of person. Once d guy sees she has her own life asides him, he wil automatically start finding her attractive.

      Delete
  24. Pple r goin thru a lot oo..
    Poster 1,: Communication is key in marriage..Talk it out with ur hubby.As far as am concerned,ur a help meet and shldnt be idle.He shld help u find a job or open a small scale business for u.If u rily wana command respect in ur home,pls u nid to have sumfin doing.

    Poster 2: no comment

    Poster 3: buy nice lingerie and transparent sexy wears.Prepare his favourite meal and welcome him home in d most sensous way...Trust me,men r moved by wat they see..
    I understand he's having financial difficulties buh pls do nt let down ur guard...wat is marriage without passionate love making?? SEX IS FOOD..Get ur home back Madam. Seduce dt man now!!!

    Ps:my opinion it is....deal with it!!!
    Anons,u can have the floor unda my comment as usual..Gracias!!!

    ReplyDelete
  25. See finish syndome: its a situation whereby one partner has been involved with the other so fully that thill is no longer there, that sexual urge is totally gone, infact he/she sees u like a brother or sister, at that point its jst the communication nd friendship that gets the union going, that's y ppl say marry ur friend, its also known as Stale Syndrome... In most cases, it cnt be cured or rectified, but one can try new looks & diffrent activities frm the usual.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Financial problem God serve us oooooo,naija men too get wahala

    ReplyDelete
  27. P1, Your spouse is in a low state and you know it. Talk to him gently about his abusive words and intercede with prayers for a turn around on his finances. P2, So Emma is using you and the baby to play sports bet abi, yet you still love that kind of a guy, I fear for you o. You are with the wrong man, God bless your family. P3, sex is not food, that said since you know he's been struggling financially for sometime now maybe its affecting his libido. Maybe he is thinking too much or something. Just relax and pray for a turn around in his finances

    ReplyDelete
  28. 1. The financial stress he's going through is really making him nag. Try and get a job to assist him even if its teaching. Start submitting your CV in schools not too far from you and also apply for other jobs or visit your former place of work, let him know your are putting efforts. Stop feeling depressed. You need to be strong for your kids. He should calm down, na man him be nau.

    2. They should have just allowed him take his child nau. After all he's married to his mum now and has done all the rights on her. Now that she's back to them as a single mum, I guess they are happy. About who the child belongs to, that I can't say.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Madam 1st poster, u are a lazy woman. Pregnancy is a temporary condition, and not a sickness. U can't just up and drop ur job like that cos ur preggy. Whatever mehn!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nikkybaby you are officially stupid....may you experience cplocated pregnancy for u to know how it feels.... Idiot with fish brain

      Delete
    2. I have to say...u do not comment reasonably, given how old you look. Did you read where she wrote "complicated pregnancy"? Or you do not know the meaning?

      Delete
  30. 1. The financial stress he's going through is really making him nag. Try and get a job to assist him even if its teaching. Start submitting your CV in schools not too far from you and also apply for other jobs or visit your former place of work, let him know your are putting efforts. Stop feeling depressed. You need to be strong for your kids. He should calm down, na man him be nau.

    2. They should have just allowed him take his child nau. After all he's married to his mum now and has done all the rights on her. Now that she's back to them as a single mum, I guess they are happy. About who the child belongs to, that I can't say.

    ReplyDelete
  31. N3, I believe your DH is cheating.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Poverty the destroyer of so many rlships since 1950. Poster one, please sit your husband and have a heart to heart talk with him cos am sure he is just acting out of over frustration. He still cherish u but poverty can turn one into a mad man.
    Poster2. Tell ur friend to forget about Bella and move on, either he finds the son or the son finds him in future.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Hmmmmmmm... Money has been an issue in relationships since the beginning of time! Ah!!

    God bless me with my own job or business so il never have to worry about such issues.

    ReplyDelete
  34. I don't have the strength to type epistle today.
    Poster1,sorry about ordeal,I pray you get a job soon.
    Poster2,I like the way the girl's family are handling the issue..Dude wants to eat and have his cake back..they shouldn't give him that baby even if he marries the mother..
    Poster3, buy "burantashi' from all these Hausa people and put in his food.my dear,na u go send us chronicle say your 'kpekus' don red finish..
    Ok, bye

    ReplyDelete
  35. Women, they say if you can not raise a child independent of your man don't get pregnant. As stupid as that statement is...I agree everyday because what we are seeing no be here. A mother will hardly complain about expenses to feed the children but a man with income issues will be wailing like the child was imposed on him. It is not easy but Nigerian women, face facts a lot of these men were not taught true responsibility because their fathers were only heads by mouth. Please set yourself up in some way before you marry. It is important. I feel for all these women suffering in their homes. It is not easy to be a woman in our part of the world but we must try.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Poster 2....please tell Emma to go back to Bella family with the elders in his family and sort things out instead of being too egoistic and proud for the sake of his son and Bella.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Poster 2...please tell Emma to go back to Bella family and sort issues out with his people too and stop being revengeful for the sake of his son and Bella

    ReplyDelete
  38. Poster 2....please tell Emma to go back to Bella family with the elders in his family and sort things out instead of being too egoistic and proud for the sake of his son and Bella.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Ohhh so Emma gets a girl preggy and denies it? Wen he dey nack raw, he no know abi, pls clap for him. He deserves whatever the family is giving him if u ask me. How u will treat the mother of ur child that way baffles me, and the silly Bella that can't see that she deserves better than that fucktard!!!!!


    ---Pesticide

    ReplyDelete
  40. Sorry to hear you resigned from ur day job cos of pregnancy complications.
    I'm gonna be due in few weeks, I've lived alone all through the 9 months journey and I do virtually everything by myself. DH visits once or twice in a month, we both work in different states.
    Thers no way I will resign and become a stay at home pregnant woman, it brings about a lot of insult. AGAIN SORRY.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ur Dh is cheating, take it frm me

      Delete
  41. @ poster 2...d babe family get crase 4 head gan..ao much I like dem.emma is a fool but I think the family should release d child since emma has paid d bride price

    ReplyDelete
  42. 1.Start looking for job ASAP. Most men this days forget that God made them the head and provider of his family. They only claim that it's a man's world when they cheat. Go join Gnld or FOREVER I use it to compliment my job and its paying me better than my job before u know it DH will stop complaining.
    2. In my own part of the country, if u get a girl pregnant and u did not marry her, when she delivers d baby it becomes her baby and the baby will bear her father's name. Even if u get married to the girl later the baby will not still be urs. Go to any court u cannot have the child. Sometimes the child is not even allowed to know u as the father.
    3.like ur DH said financial stress affects some men in bed. Most men cannot handle not having money. Stop nagging cos I feel dat y he stays out late. The truth is dat he might not necessarily be cheating.

    ReplyDelete
  43. PoSTER 2

    I believe Emma agreed to marry the girl so he would take custody of the child..he didnt want to marry her in the first place.. I like the way Bellas family is giving it to him..Thats y its good to have people who will support you...if not some useless man would just mess u up

    ReplyDelete
  44. What of jobs where they don't grant maternity leave, like jobs where u didn't even get appointment letter, how do u then ask for maternity leave when no one else has ever gone in the company before. Pls comments should try nd be reasonable here. I have a job am doing, didn't get appointment letter or any thing like job definition, nonone since I got d job has ever gone for maternity leave cos most of d ladies there are either divorced while d married casual worker there has given birth to all her kids bfr she got d work. So tell me how one can be granted maternity leave in such case. Dear psoter now that uve brith ur kid please try to go out there and look for job any one even if its 8k teaching job to at least earn something

    ReplyDelete
  45. I'm particular about poster 2. Where I come from in Igbo land anambra to b precise, a child like urs belongs to the gal's family.
    My Aunty had a child outside wedlock, 2yrs later the man wu impregnated her married her, but my grand parents refused to give the child to dem, cux dats d tradition, reasons been dat, he the man didn't come to pay d bride price wen d baby was still in d womb n my aunty gave birth to d child in her father's house, dat makes the child my grand father's child "traditionally". This my cousin bore my grand parents name until 2yrs ago wen she got married and guess what? It was my maternal uncle wu received the bride price and gave her out in marriage cux my grandpa is late. Her biological dad n mom were dere as just observers. Dats our tradition, though. Its logically wrong but u can't question culture
    So all u need do is beg dem,cux as it's stands u are just @ their mercy, u should hv asked 4 d implications wen u denied the pregnancy.
    Poster 1,3 jesus fix it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She is a gal. If he were a boy and has been told who his biological father is and he has seen him and he likes him regardless and wants to be with him what would anybody do. If he wants to do something and and some rascal tell him to go to his father's home and he knows his father nko. Is the tradition of the land superior to the law of the land. You people don't blame people here for their folly. Every man or woman who fucks has made themselves adults and so should first and foremost bear the consequences of their action. The man is fighting his case all by himself while the woman who enjoyed all the sex and all during the good times sits by while male relatives fight for her. It's just that the man in question doesn't seem to have a family that could advice him how to get his child male or female and no court will deny him his biological son. The man who impregnated d woman without marrying her and d woman who got pregnant without being married are on the same level.

      Delete
  46. The way some people comment here baffles me. Stella, not in Nigeria will you see a private coy grant you leave that long till delivery o. As for people saying some pregnant women resign coz they are lazy, I pray some of you don't go through serious pregnancy ish. My early stage was so terrible I was praying to God to do otherwise so I could be alright. Dear poster, I just pray luck will smile on you soon.

    ReplyDelete
  47. ...as the fear of marriage continues.

    Poster 1: it's time to have an heart to heart talk with hubby.. u need to do something asap. I personally don't like when a man hv to bear the burden of d house alone and I on d other hand won't do anything at all. Biko,start searching for jobs or start drawing a business plan. It's time to get serious so that ur marriage won't fall apart.

    Poster 2: Nawa for the Emma guy o. The beat option for him is to beg d girl's family very well. He can't eat his cake and have it. He once denied d child,its pay back time for him. I support them denying him a right to be the father of the child. They even returned the bride price???! Damn,thats a disciplined family out there.

    Poster 3: Sorry o. I also usually have this fear (still single tho) that what if future hubby starts starving me sexually or starts getting bored... anyways,here's what I think u should do; start dressing sexy that wld make him desire u and always hv a place to go. Ur hair and makeup shld be on point and act like u don't want him anymore. (discretion may be applied here if u married a jealous man). He shld come ard with this happening.... oh well, what do I know,lemme read from married folks in d house also.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Poster 1, it's rather unfortunate that you had to resign when your husband isn't a millionaire...keep searching and commit everything into God's hands

    Poster2 : tell Emma to forget that baby, Bella's family will never give him that child. My colleague is from a tribe like that

    Poster3: Your situation needs Jesus

    ReplyDelete
  49. Guy na wa 4 u o,hw wud u impregnate a gal nd abandon her 4 9 solid months nd didn't care abt her feelings nd emotions!l mean for conscience sake,an act u re responsible for,y did u deny it?for me,u dnt deserve d woman nd d baby, u deserve d humiliation u re passing through now.A.baby u denied while in d womb hw can u turn around now nd claim d same child?d child belongs to dos dat took care of her while in d womb.Abeg go nd humble urself b4 ur brides family nd cry 4 forgiveness cos u hurt dem real bad, if dey forgive. U fine, if dey dnt walk away Gudluck!

    ReplyDelete
  50. All these men of our generation,cant they just man_up for once and take care of their families like their fathers did?warris all these screaming support! Support by the woman before we have peace,didnt their father's take care of their mothers singlehandedly without any complaints?.i remember den that my dad will get so angry if my mum tries to talk abt working or bizness.it brought a lot of discord cos my mum was someone dat hated being idle!but look what has become of our generation.its a pity.
    @poster 1,stop being emotional abt his insults,ignore him and continue to take care of ur child,thank God he's not violent abt it.with time try to get a job so u can restore ur self esteem.but don't put urself under unnecessary pressure.

    ReplyDelete
  51. hmmm,am speechless those that are not married are fasting and praying asking God 4 one,while we the married ones are was complaining.
    I have noticed that u guys dont give a reasonable advice to people,all u guys knows how to do is run your mouthe up and down and rain abuses on one another,u guys should grow up 4 christ sake we all adult not kids,people come here 4 us to help them solve there promble not to add more salt into there injury thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Anon. 16:24. Yes i am a mum. I said some pregnant women not all. Thank you o. I MAKE MY OWN MONEY AS A MARRIED WOMAN. NO VEX O.

    ReplyDelete
  53. I am a married woman, my DH is wealthy but i make my own money. My DH hate's lazy women. DH doesn't need my money.

    ReplyDelete
  54. @ Rudegirl u talk like some gal DAT forgot her brain in a man dick think bfor u comment.becoz u will get married so day and u will kwn hw it fells wen ur own hubby insult u becoz off money

    ReplyDelete
  55. Kai I a sent in a long epistle but e b like say Stella vex bcos I yab am small. Abeg Nigerians,u ppl shld b realistic. Miss truth lucky you,u don't have to blame her,I believe u are mother so during antenatal u must hv seen different type of pregnant women and appreciated God for your own. If she decided to work and not hv children her inlaws wld table her matter everywhere that she has refused to gv dem grand children. Abeg madam poster 1 pls borrow 10k from anywhere and look for sumthing to start selling or learn a trade. Also do more of breast feeding as an anonymous had said and use napkins @ home, its better and saves u money. Also u try and reduce how u eat so the food can last longer. U ppl saying marry a rich man, no one knows 2moro,my parents started in a face me I slap u in Ajegunle but my dad ended up a director in d agency he worked. Pls marry some one who has prospects he may not necessarily b rich now but he wld get there,things may b tough initially but it wld get better. God help u poster. All of u dt marry for money alone,if d money fades why happens,dere is more to this life Dan meets d eye. It was on dis same blog we read abt d c.e.o of hearts mag dt now pushes taxi for a living.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Ok, I have read all the narratives but I only choose to comment on No 2. If the girl is igbo, then it is unnecessary argument, So long as he did not pay the bride price b$ the child was born, then the child belongs to the girl's father. No need arguing it or whatsoever. Your friend made a great mistake by denying the baby in the first place

    ReplyDelete
  57. I just read them now.
    - madam try get a job no matter what. Preggy can be somehow atimes but with God, all things are possible.
    --the guy no serious at all.

    -hope u r doing something as a wife, if not look for one n try help him.

    ReplyDelete

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