Happy Monday,please enjoy the narratives.
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
AT THE BRINK OF LOOSING IT
Dear Aunty Stella,
Thank you for this platform you have created to help people solve, at least, half their problems... as the saying goes; a problem shared is a problem half solved. May these stories shared never be your portion, Amen!
I work with an oil servicing company in Lagos and have been with this company for 9 years now. infact, i started the same year the company was registered and we were very few staffs. I had dropped out of the university because of lack of funds to get a job, my plan was to begin a part time program later on. My boss took to me the second year and made me a PA, i thought i was the luckiest person alive because their family is prominent and well known in the oil and gas sector.
I worked like my life depended on the job, it did actually, cos i became the breadwinner of my family after my dad absconded with another woman. Over time, the company grew and a whole lot of staffs were employed, i gathered so much experiences from the various departments, which i am most thankful for. I thought i would eventually be promoted or my salary increased majorly...but no, my salary was only increased by 20k. The PA to the director of a major oil and gas company and my salary is on the same level with an office assistant. i never complained, i endured, even when my boss would employ a "senior PA" and pay hundreds of thousands as salary but will never trust them enough to do the job, which always ends up on my table.
I would work both in the office and in the personal establishments which are like 5 of them, managing, supervising and giving reports on their operations. My work also got extended to the boss's house, infact i became a house manager too...lol. when its time for summer trips or enjoyment trip, someone else will be taken along. i have only been on 2 trips and on both occasion, i wished i never agreed to go along because i worked my brains out. I worked ernestly and was loyal to the core but anytime i looked good to the office, Boss would claim monies have missed from the wallet...lol! I have never ever stolen a dime or even thought about it, wasnt raised that way.
I resigned sometime last year, boss's mother, father and friend called me to ask me to come back which i FOOLISHLY did, thinking everything will change. After i returned, i was asked to go to HR to review my package but until now, nothing has been done... infact boss is now worse, cussing me out when THERE IS NO FOOD IN THEIR HOUSE....like i live and eat with them...lol cussing me out for no reason at all.
I want to resign but i am yet to complete my part time program, ends next year. I am also considering my family, especially my aging mum. i have put out my CV's, my experiences are huge but for the BSC certification... i want to go into entrepreneurship but no capital. My sister advises that i stay but i am so hurt, I am almost loosing my mind...i have destroyed my phones in a fit of anger when boss last called to cuss me out about FISH NOT BEING IN THE HOUSE...LOL im mentally tired! i dunno what to do.
Is there anyone out there that has passed through same situation, please how did you manage it?
My dear i think your job has been turned into a Corporate housegirl without your knowledge oh...AH AH!
............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
TIRED OF BEING MARRIED.
Hello Stella, never knew I will be sending in my own chronicles but here I am. mine is a bit long but will try and make it as short as possible... my name is Enam and a very loyal Ghanian blog visitor. Not a day goes by that I don't read your blog... I have commented a few times too.
Stella, I am a young lady married with 2kids, I went into the marriage with one and have one with my husband... my husband and I never really dated cos he was out of the country and so ours was a long distance kinda relationship... my then husband to be made me believe he was a very busy man especially with work, he made me believe he was a hard working young man who was very comfortable. I never for once asked him any money or anything from him ever whiles we were dating cos I am a hard working young lady who was comfortable and was catering for both my child and I before I finally married.
My problem now is, after I got married and my husband moved back to Ghana, I have realized most of the things he made me believe were all fake and that he was really struggling at where he was. we have all been managing on my salary for a while now and its no longer funny. things are really tough and when I tell my husband to go look for a job, he will say he doesn't believe in working for someone but believes in doing his own thing.
truth is, hes been moving around a lot but nothing seems to be working for him and I am really tired now cos we practically living from hand to mouth and all the savings i was able to save have been used up cos that's the only way we can survive. and also, I try to do everything so my family don't get to know exactly whats happening.
Lately, I have been having thoughts of leaving the marriage...
just needed to talk to someone... I need advice from you and your blog visitors. thank you.
He sounds like a good man but a lazy one.....Why do you really want to leave?Your explanation up there isnt clear to me.
I am a sucker for love ,the type that has its two eyes opened.
Will leaving him improve the money situation or you are angry becos he cant provide for his family?
Just negodu!
ReplyDeleteWill brb!
********LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*******
Poster one.... since you already put yourself in the situation,relax and enjoy the ride till you get your cert. You spoilt your fone and who will repair it? You you you! Just don't take it to heart anymore as where you're going isn't as far as where you're coming from.
DeletePoster two. You sound stupid from your narrative. Being a single mum you should not rush into things. You should have taken time to know him well. You said you're financially ok so what was the rush for? And as for all you women forming miss independent una weldone! Ask ask and ask and don't come here giving us useless lines... "I don't ask as I'm financially ok" spare us this useless line. Well,you no fit carry string of kids from different men up and down so encourage the lazy man. If he doesn't work under someone how will he get money to be on his own? And incase you later leave the marriage,carry ur miss independent attitude feed yourself and kids and don't even think of re-marriage
Em Jay, shameless, jobless and lonely woman. Why can't you ever read before commenting?
Deleteasshole u will remain fvr Jay.
DeletePoster 2 tho....U're not a ride or die chick at all! I put it to u that u're just HUNGRY!
DeleteEmpress abeg free the babe biko. What has she said or done that's wrong? Ehn ehn, she was a single mother that had a job that was enough to cater for her and her child alone, so hell yea she was "miss independent" with pride. But the man came in and destabilized her hustle because she now has to cater for more mouths beyond her budget. How's that forming???? She didn't anticipate her hubby would be jobless, so how it's not her fault biko!
DeleteMy dear poster, tell him to try harder at securing a job..even if it means the one that would feed his mouth alone while u use ur own money for yourself. Otherwise STOP covering him financially...that way he'll be forced to hustle harder when hunger strikes him and he starts to wear rags. Nonsense
Just negodu.
ReplyDeleteResign, cause if anything happens to you or let's say you break down , another person will take over in 10sec.
DeleteBut if you can still stay till your programme finishes, good 4 you!
They are using you
@poster2 : hian is 4 better 4 worse
Let me read comments first.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 its called marriage! U wanna move out cos hes financially unstable. Damn pple not just a relationship u can work out, vows r involved. whoever said marriage is all rosy. Pple tend to focus more on wedding this days than the marriage itself. Plz hang in there it gets better.
DeletePoster 1, please pray about the principalities and powers in high places that may stand against you at work.
DeleteEndure till you get your certificate. You have a bright future ahead of you.
Poster 1: Sorry.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Sorry.
Poster 2 if hes a good person just encourage him and start a biz with him. Things will pick up. Talking from same experience
DeletePoster 1; Sorry because you have just turned †Φ coperate househelp
DeletePoster 2; Support your hubby finacially if U̶̲̥̅̊ can and you will love again
Loool.
DeletePoster 2. Pls go fuck outside. U will be fine. That shii works
DeletePoster 1, are you beautiful slim and tall? if you are. You can be doing runs before you get a better work.
ReplyDeleteHahahhahahha I couldn't help but laugh. Money maker you no serious. Runs ko waka ni and besides se na only beautiful or slim or tall girls dey do runs?
DeleteI am slim tall and extremely beautiful,connect me nah!
DeleteYou talk as if runs is easy,poster one just walk pass this comment ooh...i dont advice anyone to go into runs.Althought it became last my last option,when i was always paying my bills at last minutes....DId it once with one man,who is now a senator.
One thing about runs is u make small money,you promise yourself to stop BUT U CANT becos u want more!!!
Just be patient,finished your part time school.Just be kiping quite n be looking at your boss...if
He say no fish in his house,say sorry sir
He say is that all,i would look into it.
If he curses,just keep shut,HE GO TIRE.
I would love to invest the money i got,what can i do with 200k.
I am slim tall and extremely beautiful,connect me nah!
DeleteYou talk as if runs is easy,poster one just walk pass this comment ooh...i dont advice anyone to go into runs.Althought it became last my last option,when i was always paying my bills at last minutes....DId it once with one man,who is now a senator.
One thing about runs is u make small money,you promise yourself to stop BUT U CANT becos u want more!!!
Just be patient,finished your part time school.Just be kiping quite n be looking at your boss...if
He say no fish in his house,say sorry sir
He say is that all,i would look into it.
If he curses,just keep shut,HE GO TIRE.
I would love to invest the money i got,what can i do with 200k.
Good advice. Am sure Uve lots of pot belle fat pocket contact 4 her. Nonsense
DeleteUr my kind. We shld meet. Hope ur not broke sha.
DeleteMoney maker bad bad advice but I still like u boo.
DeleteHahahahahahaha! Really? Epic advice .
Delete...and all my epistle disappear fiam!!! #okbye
ReplyDeleteYou typed a long epistle and it disappeared.
DeleteHow long was the epistle 5 lines,then i would believe because,this chronicle was pasted at 15.00 n you commented 15.06, i want to assume you read the chronicle which would take you some mins,then thought about the advice to give and typed it....
In fact i put it to u that you dint type any epistle hence you are lying......
Madam G.O.E
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahha Anon17:47 abeg no con use laugh kill mio shuooo u pass calculator chai.....Stella bv's una b case...
DeleteIf u r tired of d marriage, park!!!
ReplyDeleteP1, hang in there until u finish ur program...be a green snake in d green grass.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteI need you to deliver well packaged faeces to poster 1 boss
DeleteAnd
Same for poster two horseband...
Madam G.O.E
Lmao @Madam G.O.E
DeleteDis should be in d Saturday laffs,u re a clown,lolzzzzz.
DeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteDont mind these local oil servicing companies oh. Them dey hammer big contracts but pay peanuts. And i am sure this is a one-man business. Most of the money dey go babes house rent, cars, vacation and all. Although your info was not complete sha, so i cant even ask about anything on both of you. What i will advise you is that you will have to be very sharp. Open your eyes. No be only to chop boy money una fit open eyes oh. Learn about what the company is doing and read robustly about it. Then re-package ur CV to lie that you are experienced in this things. I swear, if you sabi package ehn, you will get an experienced position that you wont even know what to do with the money.
Poster 2
Hehehe. Good for you. If men no lie, una no dey gree. Enjoy the game as e dey hot so
*bangs music*
go and call aunty sidi
tell her to come and see these….see these
dollar la wa na o jere
a kin na cedis…cedis
tele she just dey package package
tele she just dey form abi
when she see my pocket
she just dey dance she no wan stop abi
Meaningless silly dude. You just keep revealing how stupid and childish you are.
DeleteLmao @ aunty sidi.
DeleteI like dis guy.
Poster 1. re u sleeping with ur Oga? If yes, he hav seen u finish and u no sabi fuck. He dosent just know how to tell u say he don tire.
DeleteHe won't be surprised if u say ur resigning now. He's trying to frustrate u. Did he make a pass on u and u refused?
How do I have a feeling ur a guy... Na guys dey suffer like this.
Hahahaha GBESE RE O!!! MY JAM!!!
DeleteBro mehn u crack me up big time, hahaha
DeletePoster 2, you want to leave your DH. Where are you going to? Do you think men like me and Dangote will marry a Belgium wife with 2 children from different men? Think again.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, word!
DeleteI put it to you,that u didnt read the part she said, she had one kid from a different man n the other from her present horseband
DeleteCompound mumu
Delete@ anonymous 17:52; I'm speechless ! Is English that difficult to comprehend ? Smh!
Delete@Anon 17 :59, poster is that you? Abeg no vex. I was only saying that no hard working, successful man will marry in a divorcee with 2 children from 2 different men here in africa.
DeleteAm not saying you should not leave your lazy, jobless husband. Marriage should be for happiness. If you don't love him anymore, you should quit . life is 2 short.
You made a mistake by marrying a lazy man. If is better if people that think marry. Like 2 intelligent people, 2 educated people, 2 hard working people.
It is annoying for a hard working person to marry a lazy person.
Stella nwunye Korkus serve me popcorn.. *yawns*
ReplyDeleteI need to send my chronicle ooh,i need love
DeletePoster one u aren't a slave abeg, start job hunting or if u have money start a business. Before u breakdown
ReplyDeletePoster 2 u wanna leave bcos he doesn't have a job not bcos he maltreats u, u can work on his lazy ass pls.
Marriage and all that comes with it.......
ReplyDelete@d2posters make Una relax ni oooo Una no get problem,
ReplyDeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteYour boss is very wicked...
Sometimes,there are people that work for you that you can't let go especially when the person is so nice to you...
My mum inlaw's driver has worked for her like 20 years...he is now part of the family...
Very nice and diligent man...
My mum inlaw don't joke with him...right now,she is seeing all his kids in school and his salary is 50k...
She keep increasing his salary every 5 years..
Poster,if I were you,I will quit!...
Which kain nonsense job is this?...Hian
Poster 2,
The worst thing that will happen to any woman is getting married to someone that does not contribute...
Marriage is for better and for worse madam...endure,this is your worse....
Get a rich boyfriend that will be helping out....
Yes oh..Marriage is for better or worse as long as her husband is not battering her..
DeleteAs for me,nothing in dis life go make me leave my DH oh..Dat man is d sweetest and d most caring man in d whole world..If i leave him i no go find his type oh..Dem don finish for market oh..My younger sis collected d remaing one for market last two months..Hehehehehehe.
Get a rich boyfriend you say? Hmmmn! Issorai!
DeleteChizoba, na who tell you sey he no dey cheat on you as you ugly reach. Keep living in self denial. Foolish woman.
DeleteChizoba, shut up your toto for once and think like a normal person. Wetin carry your "innocent" sister enter this your foolish talk?
DeletePoster 1.Can you imagine
ReplyDeletejust change environment for a while
Poster 2.your hubby should start up a business or something
P1....errrrm biko oruwa come to her lescue ...*in anambara tounge*...p2....seems u love money....if ur oga no get.. pls support him..or are u already whoring outside sef ?biko bye...
ReplyDeleteposter 1 pls stay till u finish ur degree. to get a job these days no be beans
ReplyDeleteposter 2 i can't deal. D lord will see u tru
Jesus fix it
ReplyDeleteFor once I don't have to read about cheating spouses
Thank God.
There is hope after all
Poster one and two...Jesus would fix it
Abi oo Orela
DeleteI was happy when I read the first chronicles....atleast she aint complaining about a man!
Poster 1: write your boss a letter stating all the things you would like to change at your workplace, if he doesn't agree, he should treat the letter as your resignation. If you don't want to resign, I suggest you grin and bare it for now because I've heard things are very hard in Nigeria right now so just get on your knees and thank God for his boundless Grace and Mercy.... I will pray for you!
ReplyDeletePoster 2: your husband is going through a rough patch, I suspect you're adding to his stress by nagging him and making him feel even more worthless so try encouraging him and helping him look for jobs, if he still doesn't show signs of improvement then he's lazy as you say... But don't emasculate him because of his current predicament. He's your husband, not your boyfriend so you can't just quit your marriage like that... Endure... It shall end in praise. May the wisdom of Solom be with you.. And may peace reign forever in your home.
lmao @corporate housegirl..
ReplyDeletei was looking for the word before I saw stella's comment
You better resign before they start telling you to come and clean the fish they bring in to cook...
any me dear it is staff (plural), not staffs
Poster 2..
The deed is done, no need crying over spilled milk..u should have spent sometime together before marrying...
well let him know ur stance..its not about what he's interested in..its about providing for the family and if he doesn't do something ASAP, let him know u might take a walk..he's just lazy..u need to push him.
Narrative number One.......I have first had experience........
ReplyDeleteIn my own case I worked with an IT firm......When u talk IT,u talk me....If my Oga needs to do any job then, I was always called upon....God blessed me with Insight to interpret and to solve and decode anything related to IT.......Then I realized that my other colleagues that were more qualified, when I talk quality I mean having academic qualification but don't know anything when it comes to practical.... They earn more than myself, but I was the one doing their job for them,because they can only speak big big English but are dullards when it comes to practical.... When is time.to take salary, I always feel so bad..because they end up taking times 5 of what I was earning at that time..... Then ,my aunt asked me to resign...that I should go to school, then I resigned... Them.beg me tire to come back,I refused.... Because I knew it that once u go back, you will never have value again...
So, see me now in school..and years back,I am grateful to God that I made that decision.... They still call me till today,that once I finish, I should please come that they cant wait to work with me again.
So my dear sister.. Resign and complete your studies, if not they will keep using you for nothing... Nigerians prefer certificate to "Experience on a job"......
Narrative number two...a beg leave the marriage if e no sweet u again......
I can't shout mbok
@Galore
Awww my Galore. Never seen u write epistle before o.. first time. Wetin happen na? Lol
DeleteWith God all tins are possible
ReplyDelete1. You have overstayed your welcome in that place. Start cutting shows if you can. But, prepare yourself to leave sooner than later.
ReplyDelete2. I can't find the right words for your chronicles, asides Emjay's Jesus fix it.
I hope you get the much needed encouragement/advice.
Poster one just hang on and add a degree to your cv. Its your days of little beginning. Be patient.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. Guy man don play Guy man. You were looking for greener pastures abi? Lol.
N1: Why are you 'lol-ing' in your narrative, are you tryin to justify your title. The unnecessary 'lol' took away the seriousness of your write up, please be guided.
ReplyDeleteJust weigh the pros and cons of your remaining with the org. If staying will put you at a better standing , then endure, if not, then walk. I think you gave room for what's happening to you. You're his PA not his personal slave.
@Nnemerem. Abegi, keep quiet there. What is wrong with her lol?
DeleteOK. She should go and hang her self.
Bitter people everywhere.
My dear, when people insert "lol" sporadically in the middle of a serious narrative, it's just to water down their anger or sadness, in a way. It's a bitter "lol" not the one that attracts humour. Lol
DeletePoster2: Don't leave him,all he needs is a little push to strive harder
ReplyDeletePoster1: Nawaooo,How can he be blaming you for fish not being in the house,Is he not married or what.
Well! Maybe you started doing housegirl job for him from onset.Save Up the little you can and resign,since they are choking you up.This your story sef..
Poster 1, my friend was in similar situation. Hers was even worse cos she does not even go to the office again, she cooks,follows madam to her to her bf and babalawo, she must use madam and her family as dp, madam even uses her account to launder money. She graduated from an employee accountant to a house maid. she does not even have time for her family, the kids barely see their mum and all sorts. But she left finally but she only left cos she has a husband to take care of her needs. The money they were paying her was like a curse cos she could not save or do anything reasonable with the money.
ReplyDeleteI'll advice you take a short leave to clear your head. You need to think straight before taking any decision. Or you threaten them too cos you sound like they can't get someone better to do the job. As for a raise in salary and threaten them you'll leave.
Narrator 1 ... kai stella say you be corporate househelp, i just dey hear that one now. na really househelp you be come join corporate enter. you come be househelp corporate worker.
ReplyDeleteNarrator 2... it is very well. May be your husband should start selliing provisions for Ghana there, since he no want to work for someone.
Lol @selling provisions. It is not a bad idea though.
Delete1st poster u can still get a better job, u r been used.
ReplyDelete2nd poster u can't leave cos things r not rosy what if u were d one in his shoes. Jesus fix it
No2 ...i don't see the reason why you want to leave your marriage.There are many issues out there, try and get him a job and or something. Mine was sacked after marriage and he has been on his own for over 2 years now, the money is not rushing but every month things get better, better prospects and few change. I still work and support but each month things keep getting better.
ReplyDeleteAnon 15 :37, you are a good wife. Ur type are rare.
DeletePoster one... Your "LOL" throughout your story kind of distracted me from how serious the problem is. Or maybe you are laughing through the pain?
ReplyDeletePlease do not quit until you get something else,especially since that job is funding your studies. Once you graduate,am sure you will get something better. God be with you.
Poster two...I found it strange that as a single mom,you didn't really date the man you eventually married,not because of you ooh(you are a big girl I guess) but for the child you are exposing. We thank God the hubby didn't end up to become a psycho or sadist.
Back to the matter. Marriages face different challenges.
These days,financial problems are the least of some couple's issues.
If he ain't hitting you,he treats you right,prod him on to go get a J.O.B. I don't care how you get the adult man to do it. Let him provide!
Leaving the marriage because you are providing for now(i applaud you for that) is not a good enough reason. I am sorry!
I found the lol lol lol annoying. Takes away the seriousness from the situation.
DeleteIphie, you are intelligent.
DeletePoster 2: well, like the narrative I read yesterday of hope, the lady suffered for 9yrs and at the end, after mch praying she saw changes in her husband, & she praised the lord... BVs also shared in her joy..... I dunno hw long u can endure or swallow pain, ure wearing the shoe, u alone knepw whr it itches.
ReplyDeleteTHELMA ENEMUWE said...
ReplyDeletePoster1---ur boss is heartless,he would not wanna elevate and increase ur salary so as to forever keep you as his modern day slave and lord over you...ΐ mean,what's the essence of you working like an elephant and eating like an ant,and na oil company you call am oo...this is typical character of these so called rich peeps,they derive pleasure lording over others and ordering them around like slaves...mtchwww
*faithful BV enemuwe thelma*
*faithful BV enemuwe thelma*
THELMA ENEMUWE said...
ReplyDeletePoster1---ur boss is heartless,he would not wanna elevate and increase ur salary so as to forever keep you as his modern day slave and lord over you...ΐ mean,what's the essence of you working like an elephant and eating like an ant,and na oil company you call am oo...this is typical character of these so called rich peeps,they derive pleasure lording over others and ordering them around like slaves...mtchwww
*faithful BV enemuwe thelma*
*faithful BV enemuwe thelma*
Thelma, you are not making any sense at all. Can't you offer any advice?
DeleteN.1 Be complaining and ending it with "LOL". It's obvious you can't move forward in this company so move on if you have enough saved and can survive till you get another job or stay till you get another job then leave. Either way, start actively looking for a job. Then again have you had a talk with your boss? Tell him you are unhappy about the pay and everything. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteN.2 You are paying the price of marrying a lazy man. Men like this don't change, they only become more irresponsible and leave all the work for you. I don't know why he can't get a job and save up and plan and do business on the side. Be wise .
A lazy man is not a good man
ReplyDelete1. Keep managing the job dear till you are able to complete your studies and get your certificate then you can speak your mind and see to it that your Cv is being reviewed. Maybe you are being paid less bcos you don't have a degree yet.
ReplyDelete2. I'm not married yet but I'll advice you to still give your marriage another chance. Discuss with your hubby about how you feel and see if things will improve. You can also assist him in submitting his cv in companies or recruiting firms, maybe things will improve. Also pray for him. He needs it a lot.
God will make things right. It is well.
Poster 1, your case is pitiful. I will only ask you to leave your job if you have another option which might also be a business. That said before you resign if you want to do a business make sure you have began at least for 1 year before resigning so as to be sure of what you are getting into. If it's a new job make sure you do your research well. That said, you need your certificate like kilode. In Nigeria of now, no matter how smart you are the first thing is a certificate oh. Please find peace within yourself. Poster 2, pele. No marriage is perfect. Like you said his trying to make it work. Pray and fast more for his hustle to germinate. Don't go jumping from one man to another just because his got no serious cash now. Babe, take a chill. It might even be a test of faith. Step in for your husband spiritually with God. Some men naturally don't like to work for people but try to talk him into it at least for now. Him to should be sensitive abeg. I hate it when a woman foots all bills. It gives no man respect.
ReplyDeletePls wats the best way to dump a gal uv dated for 5yrs plus, she's nt a bad person oh, but deep down I knw she's nt my wife... Iv been gvn her hints, she seems nt to get it, rather she's spending on me buyn gifts and payn my bills, hian... I'm so scared of her reaction, she fit faint... I wld hv faked a genotype report being AS, but she's AA... I wld hv told her my family has generation curse but she s vry prayerful n wldnt mind..... I wld hv told her I cheated, but she has 4gvn me 3times.... I wld hv told her my pastor said she nt my wife but her pastor has already declaired us fit as bolt n knot.... So abeg, I don think tire....
ReplyDeleteAhahhahahahahaha dis na Gbege.... Guy u don buy market..... do her a big favour pleasezzz Just tell her d truth
DeleteYou're a bastard. I hope you end up with a prostitute who won't give you any peace. Rubbish. Useless men.
DeleteHahahahaha...
DeleteGo forge an HIV result and show her you are positive and watch her flee...
Guy you're craaaayyy! Lwkmo. Since way no dey stay there and learn to love her. But why wait till 5 years?
DeleteTell her you have HIV and hepatitis C #shikena
DeleteLmao. ........Guy, u done find ur knot o. Abeg, jst tell her d truth. She won't die....spare her the nonsense drama .
DeleteBetter now than later. Goodluck!
DeleteShe's not your wife yet you keep collecting her gifts and accepts payment for your bills. Why did it take you five whole years to figure it out? I put it to you that you're wicked!
DeleteMofo!
Don't leave her! All a man needs is a woman that's loyal and submissive, which I think she has been. Don't be deceived by all those pretty women you see outside, they aren't ever loyal. Stick with the one that has paid her dues. Pray for the Grace to love her.. She needs you to really love her and watch her glow..
DeleteYou've been using and hurting a woman who has loved you for 5 years and you're making light of the situation? Mtcheew! I don't blame you ! You better tell her the truth ASAP. I hope you get what you deserve . Nonsense!
Delete100 likes
DeleteI think my comment disappeared.
ReplyDeleteFor both posters I say, patience and prayer. There's nothing God cannot do
It is well o.
ReplyDeleteI dont know what advice to give.
Let me join Efe and Emjay to sit and read comments.
Poster 2, you already have two kids for two different men and you want to leave and marry a 3rd husband ??? Na spiritual husband dey worry you oo. Them no dey let person stay husband house.
ReplyDeletePoster 1,nne sorry.can imagine How it feels when one gives His or her all to something Buh gets no appréciation in return.
ReplyDeleteI also understand ur plight about waiting to finish school or just up and leave.
Buh seriously,ur story sounded so sad.like i have never heard dis kind corporate slavery before o and i would have said up and leave.Buh we have to be realistic here.u need money to finish up ur schoolimg and u need money to start ur biz too.
So i suggest,u hold on just a bit dear.
Be strong.finish up and leave.ok?
Sending u d warmest hugs.
Póster 2,i didnt hear where u said dat Man is a bad Man or where he treated u unfairly.
Are u seriously considering leaving ur Own hubby cos things are tough for him??
I understand ur plight and ur struggles esp with things bn Very Hard and d economy biting,Buh Babes,Biko Chill.
We are dere to support.remember?
I know it aint easy Buh just know dis too shall pass.ok?
Sending u prayers and warm hugs.
Hmmmmmmm......the worst thing that can happen to a woman is to marry a broke ass bastard!!!
ReplyDeleteSmtcheeeww
Gbaaaaaaamm! Its worse than domestic violence.
DeleteLol ......chizzy beke!
Deleteposter one,please endure that job till next year when you graduate and have your B.sc,probably u are facing these humiliations because u don't have a certificate,hang on,occupy ur mind with the things of God,u will find joy,endure,it will all be over soon,its just a tunnel,at least for the sake of ur B.sc certificate,ur folks u nid to take care of,et al. at least,once ur result is out,u can take it to HR to get an upward review in ur salary,and probably have a say on your lines of duty/jurisdiction with the company and by then,if they don't accept which I doubt,then u will be free to move on to another company,so sori u are feeling burnt out right now.
ReplyDeleteposter 2, I cnt tell you to leave your marriage, but I do not like ur position right now,from ur story,ur husband has never been financially responsible from day1, is this really what u want? think about it well.
Hahaha stella will not kill me @corporate house girl.
ReplyDeletePoster1: be patient till when you are done with your part time.
Poster: pray for Jesus to fix it.
I don't know why in Africa we see it as an obligation to make other people happy to our own detriment. @poster1 I advise you to get a masters degree with your level of experience you can land a better job. @poster2 marriage comes with plenty baggage. Why do you think we have to swear the "for better for worse" oath. Does he beat you? Is he in anyway abusive? Does he cheat on you? Does he show you and your kids affection? I think you need to weigh the pros and cons of leaving this man before you decide to pack up. If you believe in God I advise you pray about it.
ReplyDeleteA broke lazy ass man is worse than a man who cheats.
DeletePoster 2 stay and work on your marriage. Your husband is lazy but talk to him. At least he's not cheating or beating you. Something can still be done. You were forming miss independent, now you are Mrs. independent. Advice, watch people. You shouldn't even have to ask. He should always offer. That's how you know someone who will provide during the marriage. Goodluck
ReplyDeletePlease click on my name, read and comment. Thanks.
Poster 1: I really felt for you, I wish you can endure and finish up your programme. God will perfect all for you.
ReplyDeleteposter 2: I don't have anything to say oo but I pray you find happiness in your marriage.
Narrative 2...You better stay put in your husbands house. What is this? I know your big bumbum is beginning to itch you. Ghana women and their ukwu nnu. Stay faithful to your husband and stop these your long stories.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 1...Start studying part time while you continue to work for them until you graduate.
XOXO MYSTERY
Let me just read comment. Em Jay no vex o, let me just borrow ur english.
ReplyDeleteLmao @ d corporate house girl..... hehehe.... na my advice is to keep the job till u finish ur school.... poster 2, I almost ended wit that kind of a man b4 holy spirit opened my eye.... my ex. Is that kind of a man.... who doesn't want to work under anybody.... even me As a woman was struggling whereas he was always sleeping at home.... waiting for one property the family wanted to sell.... I will rather remain single than for me to end up wit that kind of a man....
ReplyDeleteN1: wats all d loling 4? Ure pouring out ur frustrating ordeal n still found space enough 2 LOL abt? Sorry I lost sympathy n words 4 u.
ReplyDeleteN2: it's marriage, it's ur cross, it's 4 beta or 4 worse so hang in there. Bt in case u couldn't bear it n u walk try not 2 opt 4 anoda marriage so u dont end up littering kids everywhere.
Poster one,hang in there till u get ur certificate. Even with all my certificate my aunty gwegwegwe of a boss Frustrates me at work. But wen I remember my fat salary I hang in there.
ReplyDeletePoster two,if he is hard working I suggest u stay God will surely bless him some day,if not, take a bow biko. U r beta off single
Anty gwez of a boss...hahahahahaha. She needs to get laid
DeletePoster 1: Hold on until ur B.Sc. U don already suffer so wetin remain kwanu until next year? So nnem take dat insult until u can give dem a very big waka and a very correct B.Sc
ReplyDeletePoster 2: nnem life sucks at times but it's also during dis fucked up moments dat loyalties are tested. U promised for better for worse so ride it out and come out strong like a purified gold and diamond.
Right now I'm also going thru same phase but I'm SO!!!! Grateful to God dat I have a job way b4 hubby's biz crashed. So I ain't going no where. DH was really ashamed cuz of it but now his ego is back(partly cos I didn't forgett wn he was d provider) n he is mighty proud of me now. I know in my hrt dat there is going to be an end soonest cos it's toughest right now. What with my twin girls ready for school come September n my salary can't do shit towards dat but our Lord is still seated on His throne and as such no child of His shall suffer.
So nnem don't abandon ship ok. Atleast he is not abusive so pls manage until things changes cos they always do if only u give it d right positive attitude. Don't stand for laziness but always encourage him. He needs it now to succeed.
Remain blessed shalom.
Poster One: have destroyed my phones in a fit of anger when boss last called to cuss me out about FISH NOT BEING IN THE HOUSE...LOL. This part made me laugh i fell on the floor, Rotfl.
ReplyDeleteYou are now a Corporate House Maid.
Please endure and finish up your programme.
When u get a better offer you leave.
Its only preparing you for the future.
Poster 2. If you leave it will be still be the same. The only problem why you want to run away its because the Man is not supporting you.
Please keep encouraging him until he getz a job when God blesses him to start his own Business he can say I don't believe in working for someone.
Independence is Good.
Poster 1
ReplyDeleteI knw wat it means to be afraid of loosing wat u hv but it seems u acted good girl to ur deteriment. Get on ur kneels and pray to God for direction.pls act wisely and dnt throw away ur self worth again.
Poster2
Pls pray to ur God for guidance.
Poster one, if you find something better you should leave....pele
ReplyDeletePoster two, don't leave that marriage Cuz you guys are broke, pray and sincerely advice him to get a job for a while then the little he gets he can use it for business. He shouldn't be that stubborn. God help you!
Poster 1. I will advise you to hold on until you are done with school. God will see you through.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. You need to have a heart to heart talk with your husband.
@Stella that he cant provide for his family is it not enof to leave the marriage, why propose to a lady when u dont have a means to take care of her, 1st of all the marriage was on the basis of lie, he lied abt who and what he is, why didnt he come out straight as to his situation, or laid his cards on the table so she know wat she's up against, it would now be left for the woman to take him as he is after her evaluation. why shatter some one elses dream just bcos u cant dream. All these lazy baboon men everywhere, looking for who to cause misery.
ReplyDelete@poster1, try endure till u finish school next year, then slam ur resignation to his face, he's not worth a dedicated worker like u.It's his loss, ur gain, thank God for the rich working experience.
How many men will she leave? What if the next one turns out bad too
DeletePoster1,u turned urself to a slave by ur self.!u can't tell me dis just happened without ur consent,cos u are not d only staff of the company but u are d only one dat couldn't draw d line btw ur work time and private time.i am sure u are the type dat force urself to wealthy pple's houses running errands for them as a way of trying to belong',lol!now it got out of hand and now u are screaming foul.why I conclude so?,ur statement when u were made PA: that u felt u were the luckiest person alive because d family was prominent in the oil and gas sector'.so u see urself? U tot by being a gud gal around them they will help u grow but dey took u for granted.u should learn from this experience dat most wealthy pple are not nice,only d few God fearing ones.
ReplyDeleteMy advice to u:resign!resign! So u can have ur dignity back else u are nothing more than an insignificant errand gal to dem.#forgive my language o,truth hurts#
Poster2,it seem u married ur because u tot he had money,but now u are disappointed.pls stay with the man and manage.things will get better.dont be a fair weather wife'#eyelashes#
Right about poster 1. Infact both.
Delete1000 likes! But poster 1 should hang in there whilst she's working on getting her degree because she'll need it to get a better job . As for poster 2, she got a dose of the more you look the less you see. Are women still obsessing over men who live abroad ? Are those men still trending ? Please stay with your hubby and try to help him out. You went into the marriage with both eyes open. You weren't forced , it was borne out of free will so deal with it . You shouldn't have married him until you were both in the same country. The deed has been done so try to make it work. Every marriage has its own squabbles . You may leave him for a rich guy and still end up unhappy. I know it's not going to be easy but you need to try.
Deletereally i dnt knw why pple get married,stay single nd do ur thing..marriage is nt for every1 nd it wnt take u to heaven
ReplyDeleteR.I.P to d josblast victims
Hian!!!
DeleteNarrative number one in my opinion don't just leave. Make a plan to leave when you finish school. Start saving.Now you know how your bosses are. Wear bullet proof whenever you go there. Whatever they say back to sender is what you'll repeat in your mind. But know that you have a mission and that mission is to save what you can, finish your school and leave. They have prepared you for better things ahead believe me. Don't expect anything good from them, just do what you can and God will reward you not them. Most offices have the same problem especially in Nigeria. As far as you're still being paid.Just work for the salary.You have experience that will help you when you're done with school. Be patient. Nothing good comes easy.With God everything is possible.Best wishes.
ReplyDeleteNarrative number 2, i agree with Stella. Are you leaving your husband because he's lazy? If you meet another man will you leave for another reason?Marriage is not easy. If you had not married him, i would have advised you not to marry but you have. Marriage needs alot of prayers and patience. He seems nice. Just keep trying, talk things out with him and check out other options.It will get better. It takes one day for God's favour to change your story.Its a test that will give you a testimony.Just don't have more children yet until things get better.
naijaflo.com
Poster 1: you don't have a degree and want to earn above 50k or same thing as a Bsc holder? Your brain needs a reset. Pls finish up with your degree and you will be upgraded. Better still, move on to an up stream sector.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Your marriage, your headache. I don't poke nose in marital affairs. You started off by being the breadwinner, so why complain?
He/she doesn't av a degree but has experience. And ur called degree holders don't av it
DeleteOoo Nwannem@poster 1,Hmmm God will see you through in this your predicament. you can't be working like a jackie and eating like an ant,Nba!!. My advice to you is to still stick around with job cos' is the only one you have got right now till you are through with your studies as you said "you are the breadwinner in your family.
ReplyDeleteSo poster, i will like you to go down on your knees and cry/pray to God for favour. that God should make you find favour in the sight of your boss. because when you are favoured of God errors turn to praise and your struggle seize.Pray for favour.
Biko, Sdk lagos party planner,can you kindly repost the BBM PIN so I can add up cos' I want to be at that parry..hehe
ReplyDeleteAnon 15:51 .. tell her your pastor says she is not your wife and if both of you marry, una marraige go be prayer point. Abi the things she dey give you don dey sweet you well well. foolish man don see another girl
ReplyDeleteNo lie put for pastor head
DeleteMy friend go and pray separate from her to ask if na devil wan cheat you from having a good girl or manipulation dey come from somewhere or another babe dey totori/distract your eye or if really she isn't GOD'S will for you.
If that last option BE A MAN and tell her the truth.
Prayer can blast the others by GOD'S grace, HE is still GOD and change the not!
Poster 1: open ur eyes wella. That was how one eatry like dat wanted to use someone's sweat and pay change. Stop being good. Stay with them and work till u finish ur program. Steal as much money as u can but be smart. Don't mind anybody o. Strive for urself. Be as wise as a serpent and as calm as a dove. He that has ears, let him hear
ReplyDeletePoster 2: u started it. Stop forming madam independent when u r dating the guy even if u have. Haba!!! Ask but don't demand. He is a man and should be the provider. Na wa o. Now u r married to him. Please just endure. Try and talk him into getting a job. God will crown ur effort with joy
NO STEALING
Deleteso it can truly end in praise and GOD bless your hustle
Just hang in there
DeleteDerive satisfaction from the fact that the circus get expiry date (known to you and unknown to them)
Poster 1:Try and look for a better job with ur experience and always remember to pray cos is important.
ReplyDeletePoster 2:Why are u planning to leave the marriage,I understand what u are going thru ;What u need do is to call a family meeting to discuss the issue
Poster 1.....u need deliverance.its ur spirit husband dat is making you suffer that humiliation. ..go to mum for deliverance and pray for direction before u leave dat job.God will turn around ur captivity.
ReplyDeleteyou never can tell. I have been there but things are better now.
ReplyDeletestill I cant tell you to wait or leave
poster 1. please u hv to remain there till ur done with your program in the uni, then you will leave. don't wrry the end of this tiring race is near, don't tarry.
ReplyDeleteposter2. firstly this is for all women. NEVER show a man that you are miss independent. NEVER!.
anyway, the deed has been done. keep pushing him to get a job, keep praying and believing, but if it gets to a stage that you can't endure anymore, leave and don't look back. But for now, keep pushing and believing, so the world will know that at least you tried and was patient. good luck.
Poster 1; you just turn †Φ coperate househelp
ReplyDeletePoster 2; please support your hubby financially if you can and you will love him again
Stella why are you surprised? Corporate slavery is not a new thing for most employees working in a one man's business on Nigeria 0h! Stella these people are not professionals at all. They would employ you as an Admin Manager, but you'll be doing the Job of an accountant,office assistant, marketer, secretary and anything you can think of. How do I know this? It's because I am currently in the same predicament, I do almost everything from cleaner, to errand girl, to office assistant, to business development and what have you and the pay is barely N50k and YES! I am a graduate, but what can I do, after leaving my previous Job which was on a contract basis, I stayed at home for more than 4 months and was almost lost mind all because I didn't want to accept just anything, when I couldn't take it any longer I decided to go out to Job hunt and that's how I ended up with this Job that pays where I am earning below N50k as a graduate with a 2:1, I am only hanging on to this Job because I want to gather enough money to start a business and gain ground in it or in the hope that I am going to get a better job before the end of the year. The Job situation Nigeria is pathetic and it's not like I don't know and do my Job. Wo, Stella abeg it is well that's all I can say. I can feel the poster's frustration because I've been there myself. Just hang on there a little longer my dear God will see you through.
ReplyDelete2:1 u say? And your English is this terrible?
DeleteBiko how do you interact with the company's customers?
Anon, shut up please
Delete#Take your sister's advice and finish with your schooling. Without any certificate, you cannot get any job regardless your vast experience. Then be very prudent and save like mad, because , you will need it in future. As a PA, you will know some influential people, use the connection and get a better job when you have your BSC.
ReplyDelete#2, First go for family planning to avoid getting pregnant, without telling him. Continue to manage your salary with him, hoping and praying things will turn around. You better tell your people, and stop covering his ass, so they will put 'fire' under his ass and he will go and look for a job, by force by fire! Prepare the cheapest and basic food, but give your children good meals because they need it more than both of you. Best of luck.
Nitty.
People never appreciates other people's value until they loose them. An oil company, what stops the man from just increasing her salary to keep her mind, body and soul at rest? An amount that is even insignificant to their that wont even affect the company one bit! Wicked bosses like mine!
ReplyDeletePoster 1 u have no problem at all u r just depressed which isnt a new thing.
ReplyDeleteI would advise you finish up your study, then write to your boss for a better package citing examples of other companies, then treathen to resign if he dosent effect the change immediately, u sound like a very confident and hardworking person which is the mother of creativity and productivity, keep it up, the lord is your strength.
Poster 2. It seems you really love your man, and he loves you too, but the bitter truth is romance without finance is frustration, pls tell him to get a job to start with, since ur own salary is not enough to take care of the family needs.
But all this ladies make Una open eye no be everybody wey dey London get money!
Poster 1..I know 95% of people will ask u to stick to your present job becos that what you have now but why do we like to endure suffering all in the name of how will I survive or the country is hard. U are unhappy and dieing emotionally..habaa..you won't die if you leave that job ,y not put God to test and Stoping living with the fear of unknown..of how will ur family survive.what if your boss sack you tomorrow will you kill ursef.
ReplyDeleteI think you should leave that job..tell it to his face that he his not God and u will survive..talk to people you have met along the job and it Will give you enough time to move around and job hunt. Am a living testimony of God faithfulness when it comes to job..I left my first job after so much hurt and unhappiness but within a month I got a another job.same tin happen when I got the second job..I left when my boss will start cursing me like his doing me a favour..U know how all this one man business behave like they are god. And God showed himself again and I got my present job within 2wks.
you don't need to cont suffering in silence.leave and face ur school and why searching for job you can also learn entrepreneur. And God will show up for you.
#1- Are you really a serious fellow? A drop out and you're a PA...thank GOD my dear.
ReplyDeleteBe nice to your boss but the only way you can earn his trust again is by prayer. I did it and it worked for me. Pray for your boss but do not resign until you've gotten what you wanted. Pray for favour, protection, peace, Serious prayers and DO NOT RESIGN. Some of us have passed through this type of storm and are still waxing stronger, so, not a new thing.
#2-Marriage is like a gift -when you open it, whatever you see is yours. Challenges are there but pray to overcome it. I guess this is one of them. For how long would you be moving from one man to another all in the name of luxury? Plan, pray, stop murmuring/worrying for God knows. He's near by why not call on him to show you guys mercy/favour. #Goodluck.
Poster 1. Manage to update your ward-rope and change your dress sense. Do some manicure and fix your nails. Make-up beautifully well to the office. Step-up little classic in your place of work. Then, mind the language you use in the office it can make you a low class or nobody. You will see how things will change for the better for you. Your promotion will come very soon there. Just believe and remember to pray always. I wish you best of luck.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. Prayer is the key.
poster 2 just hang in there and contiue advising him to get a job. like stella said, he is lazy and might end up worse if you leave him now. just be a bit patient.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 ; I understand your plight, but honey hang in there until you are done with studies. If i were you i'd secure something for myself first before i hop out. Trust me its not easy at all to stay at home 24/7. I've been down that lane, talking out of experience. Get busy, even if you not getting the material benefits, you are getting some physical benefits , job experience(No 1 can take that from you) and above all you r losing weight. LOL
ReplyDeletePoster 2 : The grass is always greener on the other side right? WATER YOURS! Sweetheart don't leave your home. I'm sure there's that one thing that makes you happy , smile or forget about the stress sometimes. Hold unto that thing and keep going. Yes advice is always easy to give.... I'm not even the right person to advice you bc as it is i'm living like a shadow of my ownself. Postponing my life for tomorrow.(Story for another day) But hey ! I've seen better days and i wake up daily counting my blessings. That keeps me going.
My big brothers wife married him when they had nothing. Not even a rented house to their name. But they were so inlove they will drink garri and smile. Each time i visit them id want to get married. Fast forward my bro traveled, Things became so juicy for them until he got deported. (Deportation runs in my family abi? God dey) When he returned they exhausted all their savings and investments, My dad had to start supporting them, paying the kids school fees. I had to even start sending my own bit. Adija stood by him, As in i'm a woman but when i think about it i'm awed. She went from selling succette (waterlike mixture with flavor ,ice, color and sugar) to hawking and cooking peti food and what hv you just to support her family. This was not for a short while o.... this went on for say 4-5 years if not more. TODAY !!! HMMMMMMMMM. They r doing so well and i cant blame my brother for treating her like an egg. I call her first before i even call my own brother. That's how much we all Love her.
Bottom line, hang in there. Show your husby you r a keeper. He might not be lazy like you think. Read THINK LIKE A MAN, ACT LIKE A WOMAN. STEVE HARVEY. It will help you alot.
God bless your home hun(sorry my narrative is this long. )
Poster 1 ; I understand your plight, but honey hang in there until you are done with studies. If i were you i'd secure something for myself first before i hop out. Trust me its not easy at all to stay at home 24/7. I've been down that lane, talking out of experience. Get busy, even if you not getting the material benefits, you are getting some physical benefits , job experience(No 1 can take that from you) and above all you r losing weight. LOL
ReplyDeletePoster 2 : The grass is always greener on the other side right? WATER YOURS! Sweetheart don't leave your home. I'm sure there's that one thing that makes you happy , smile or forget about the stress sometimes. Hold unto that thing and keep going. Yes advice is always easy to give.... I'm not even the right person to advice you bc as it is i'm living like a shadow of my ownself. Postponing my life for tomorrow.(Story for another day) But hey ! I've seen better days and i wake up daily counting my blessings. That keeps me going.
My big brothers wife married him when they had nothing. Not even a rented house to their name. But they were so inlove they will drink garri and smile. Each time i visit them id want to get married. Fast forward my bro traveled, Things became so juicy for them until he got deported. (Deportation runs in my family abi? God dey) When he returned they exhausted all their savings and investments, My dad had to start supporting them, paying the kids school fees. I had to even start sending my own bit. Adija stood by him, As in i'm a woman but when i think about it i'm awed. She went from selling succette (waterlike mixture with flavor ,ice, color and sugar) to hawking and cooking peti food and what hv you just to support her family. This was not for a short while o.... this went on for say 4-5 years if not more. TODAY !!! HMMMMMMMMM. They r doing so well and i cant blame my brother for treating her like an egg. I call her first before i even call my own brother. That's how much we all Love her.
Bottom line, hang in there. Show your husby you r a keeper. He might not be lazy like you think. Read THINK LIKE A MAN, ACT LIKE A WOMAN. STEVE HARVEY. It will help you alot.
God bless your home hun(sorry my narrative is this long. )
1. You just need to hang in there until you get your degree then begin to apply to other places you are almost there just hang in for a while and while you are there focus on your goals n aspirations and how another organisation would beg to have you on their team well done dear.
ReplyDelete2. He that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from God. You need to claim these promise on ur husband n if there is any way you haven't portrayed yourself as a wife n a good thing(pro 31) change your game marriage is a not a game it's the first institution and it is honoured by God think this through
Poster one. Your mistake was to start working without enquiring and finalising what your pay will be. Please say a prayer to God and with faith go back to the same people that begged you to come back and tell them that you've had it, that nothing has been added to your salary and that this time of you leave, you are not coming back.
ReplyDeleteBetter to ignore your boss. You are not the cause of his rage. Do not confront him because that would be a wrong move. Please take your leave. A two week leave to cool your head. Make sure it is not a working leave, turn off your phones. Believe me, you will feel refreshed.
Modern women!!! I know I will get crucified for saying this but I gotta say it.
ReplyDeletePlease stand by your husband even when it is unbearable and you are the breadwinner. As long as he is making some effort to get work on his own and not squandering what you are bringing, stand by him! Biko. The bible did not tell you to divorce your husband when he is not working! Support your man when he is down! You have to accept that roles of men and women have indeed changed over the years. Women now go to school and earn good money. If you have it, who else are you going to spend it on except your immediate family? Don't use your hand to scatter your family. Life is full of ups and downs. And in marriage, you can't have it all, you have look away in some things. And please when you are doing this dont disrespect the man. After all when he has money he will spend it well on you.
I am a married woman by the way. When I was growing up, my mother earned much more than my father and he would give her peanuts and her whole salary finishes in taking care of the house. I never saw her any day disrespect my father because of that.
Thank heavens that the woman even has a good career and income at least the family will benefit. What if both of you are out of jobs??? What will your complaint be?
We all have baggages, ask God for the grace to overlook them.