Stella Dimoko Mama Tee Series - Squatting With A Friend/Relative


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Friday, November 17, 2017

Mama Tee Series - Squatting With A Friend/Relative

After school, I moved to Lagos for greener pastures. 

A friend had invited me over saying there were more job opportunities compared to where I lived.

That was how I travelled down and started living with SA(not real names) in her one room face-me-I-slap-you apartment.

 I thought a job would be waiting for me since she told me there were plenty jobs in Lagos but I was wrong. Lol. I searched all by myself and due to my limited financial resources and little or no knowledge of the city, I couldn't do much.

 After a month, SA started showing me pepper. She would not cook or buy foodstuff at home, instead she would eat out. Hunger showed me pepper, I didn't know anyone around, I had to tell neighbours that I clean and cook for a token. That was how I beat hunger. 

Then she had one endtime boyfriend who used to come spend the weekend with us. Chei! They would be kpanshing in the same room making loud noise all through the night throughout the whole weekend and I would not be able to sleep. I slept on the floor while they slept on the bed.

Later this boyfriend who used to come spend only weekends started living with us. That was how SA said I should excuse them, that her man had accommodation problems bla bla bla.
Oh Lord, how can I come to Lagos and go back home empty handed? impossicant. I must remain in Lagos by thunder by fire.

I had an aunt in another part of the state, I had visited her twice before but she had a large family and I didn't want to add to her burden. After SA sent me parking, I called her and explained my condition to her and she asked me to come over.

I moved in with Aunty Vee(not real names) and her family. She and her husband had kids including two grown daughters who were older than me.
While job hunting, I cooked, fetched water, did other house chores and assisted Aunty Vee in her store. I was boyfriendless, jobless and broke. I would borrow her daughters' clothes and jewelries to wear for parties or important church activities. I also begged them for transport money sometimes when I had interview. There was peace.

Fast forward to a few months later, I got that my end time hotel job.

The following month, Aunty's first daughter called us for a meeting, she and two of her siblings were working. One was waiting for university admission while working. She said she had decided that we all should start contributing 5k every month for the upkeep of the house, I concurred.

The following month, she called us again and said we should all start contributing 2k each for weekend soups every weekend. I said no problem, 13k every month was not too much even though I seldom ate in the house as I used to eat at my workplace.

Then, I started buying clothes and other things for myself and stopped borrowing, my overall dressing changed thanks to the tips I got at my work place. 

Trouble started.

My aunt and her daughters would wake up on some days and start beefing me. I would greet them, they would nod their heads or ignore me totally. Her husband's attitude to me was OK, he was not always around so he was not aware of the things going on in the house. Some mornings when I'm preparing for work my aunt would do something to provoke me. For instance, she may pack clothes like curtains, soak them in water and tell me to wash them before going out or when I come back. 

If they want to fix anything in the house, like a door or broken tap she will send her daughter to come ask me for money(asides the normal contribution). I couldn't save one naira as I was always trying to please them and let peace reign. I was also very thin as a result of stress, I would come back home from work, no rest. From one errand to the other. I had to escape to my friends house sometimes to sleep. 

When I sleep over and come back the following day, Aunty Vee would ask me 'Mama Tee, why don't you move in with that friend of yours? is her place too small?'. I would just dodge the question, after what I experienced at SA's place, I swore never to squat with any friend again.

 Did I mention that Aunty's girls had gathered and given me correct beating on more than two occasions? Hahahahaha
After the last fight which left me with a dislocation, I started applying for a loan in my place of work so I could move out.

So my people, this is the summary of my experience when I newly entered Lagos. Have you squatted with/accomodated a friend or relative before? how was it like? Let's share our stories.

Mama Tee


  1. Hmmm!
    The things that makes one stronger.
    Being homeless, no matter how temporary, isn't a funny situation.

    Till you live with some people, you may never know who they really are, and what they are capable of.

    Thank God for you Mama Tee.

    1. It's not easy living with people oh. I have never been in such a fix yet but I have seen it with my eyes koro koro and it feels so funny esp because I love having my friends around for the longest time possible. I like their company

    2. I tell you anon and same girl. To think this my aunt and my mum share the same parents. When I used to visit her, she and her girls were so nice and warm. Until u live with someone, you will never know their true character.

  2. What a wawu!

    You never know who got your back till you need help. And when you make it,be rest assured that not all will be happy for you. But it’s okay. We have those who continually cheer usπŸ‘Œ

    That’s life!

    You write soo well Mama Tee!😘😘😘
    It’s always a pleasure reading from u😍

  3. Wow I read it all na wa for some people if I may ask what happened to your aunt and daughters also your friend how do they feel when you see them?

    1. Bee10, as for my aunt and cousins, I have not set eyes on them for years now. We don't talk on phone or anywhere else either I heard she and her hubby now have some health challenges. As for my friend, she broke up with the guy and later came looking for me. She is married now and we are still friends. I forgave her then cos I later understood that all the times She left home claiming work she wasn't working, just hustling. So it wasn't easy feeding me and herself. Then the guy she was blindly in love with was jobless and homeless but was the only man who satisfied her in bed. Hehehehehehehe

  4. Mama tee this ur case is exactly what I experienced in my uncle's house in same lagos but I have to quit my job after 1st October holidays and moved down from lagos to onitsha to stay with my mum in our comfortable home who lagos dirty house help before I die on top say I dey squat for people house

    1. Hahahahahaha
      Some Lagos houses and neighbourhood are very dirty I must admit.

  5. My room mate in school was a gay, i neva knew, not until 4 month of living together. But he is a cool guy sha

  6. While I was serving in the north, there was this lady that accommodated me. We were introduced by a third party and she made my stay very comfortable. How much was I earning as a corper sef? Meager9,500 where more than half is spent n tfare. She never asked me for a dime but I made sure I always drop something for the house. God bless you Bidemi.

  7. Hmmmmm.... This story brought back old memories.. Grateful#

  8. Squatting with a friend has never cool.

  9. Living with roomies in schl was a kettle of fish on its own, not to talk of squatting with friends. Squatting with people is always difficult, may we not have accommodation problems

  10. I can relate to this story Mama tree
    I once stayed with my step sister and her husband during my school days . the man was disturbing me to sleep with him and when I refused, he made the house unbearable for me. Then later on, he lied to his wife that I was seducing him. They sent me packing
    She later apologised to me after the man impregnated a neighbour's daughter. She left the marriage becos neighbour moved her daughter into the house. kikikikiki.

    1. Useless man..i hate useless men...I hate them with a passion, I hate men with no self control, they irritate me. Pheww....i hate them.

    2. He was a wicked man. And as expected, his wife supported him.

  11. I''ve experienced this too. I moved in with a eelative, he did not show me any bad feeling but his children did ( in a way) I would go to work and when I'm back I'ld wash all the plates they used in eating. They still eexpected me to feed them with my salary of 30k. Mbanu... I started cooking only in the morning to take to work and at night I would buy only fruits. I can't come and kill myself.

    1. My own salary was not even up to 30k lols.

  12. I can so relate, i no fit type sha. Nice write up

  13. Woow. It's never easy squatting with someone. Even then in skl, if u are a 'squatee' in the hostel, u will never argue or exchange words with anybody. Always the first to greet, sweeps the room, u won't drag for line to spread your cloth, queue quietly for tap water, no shouting; chai, I pitied those squatting then. In fact, u would become a mumu for everybody just so they don't give u your life history on why u couldn't afford 20k bed space.

    Thank God for God. At least my mama could afford it.

    I hail all COOU formerly Anambra State University, Igbariam campus hostel A graduates. It was fun while it lasted.

  14. Mama Tees this your story sweet me well wellu. your friend is endtime friend with shameless broke ass boyfriend. those type that are only good in fvcking.
    In my head here am playing the sound of their gbenshing at night.

    they will go pa pa pa pa pa pa pa and then fuku fuku fuku fuku and then when the man release( in James voice) tom Tom Tom Tom Tom Tom Tom shoko shoko shoko shoko shoko. dem no born you well make u sleep, your own something too will become draw like ogbono soup kwakwakwakwakwak

  15. I once stayed with my Uncle in a Face me I slap you. At some point his GF was homeless and she moved in with us. Whenever I come back from work she'd give me food and a bottle of Coke(they knew I like coke so much).
    Some mornings I wake up very weak and tired that to go to work will be annoying. So one night when I got home she gave me food and the bottle of Coke. I had had too much coke for the day, so I kept it in my bag. At night say about 1am, I was hearing little moaning noise and the bed move, I wondered what was happening, so I gently turned and they stopped. She was ontop of him. And then I heard my brother ask her in a whispering tone. 'Did you not give him the coke? Don't worry he won't wake up, the sleeping tablet is working'..... Since then I stopped drinking Any kind of drink they give me. ☺️

    1. Omg🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

    2. Wow. Sleeping tablet just to gbensh...that is saga mehn

    3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚this is funny man! So you have been taking sleeping medicine all these while?

    4. What?😡😡😡my goodness,they have been drugging you all the while.

    5. Whatttt?????? For real Rolly.

      My goodness, these peeps could have done a whole lot of damage to you health wise ontop midnight gbenshing.

    6. They were drugging you coz of sex..what ila otu can cause. Crazy nymphs.

    7. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
      This is not funny but I can't help itπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
      I can imagine you sipping on the coke every night nodding your head and tapping your long throat legs😩😩😩😩😩😩😩

  16. hmmmmmmm things people go through.

    I feel pity for people who dont have a bed to rest their bodies. When you squat with people, you will know that odinma is not odinma at all.

    It is well. So you chop correct beatings? chai

    1. Yes yori. I would have a misunderstanding with one of them, the rest would join and tell me that I don't have respect and should be taught a lesson with correct beatings.

  17. My own story
    When I was in school, my room mate had a boyfriend who was not in the same town. Whenever he visit, I will excuse them and sleep in a neighbour's place. She always told me that they are not having sex. They are both celibate and she was a church girl. One time he came and my two neighbours were not around. My room mate now said I can sleep in the room that they will not do anything. That they don't do it until after marriage. My fellow bvs, I could not sleep. The guy started touching her saying he can't keep to their earlier agreement that his body is shaking that she didn't give him the thing well the last time. I was sleeping on the chair. In the dark room I could make out their different styles. Come and hear pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa for more than two hours. Later the girl will say it is painting her that she is dry, they will rub something and continue. D following nite I just went for night class. At least i slept small on the chair in class.

  18. Let me to anon for this.
    My friend's parent separated when he was 16, he is the last born. The 1st and 2nd born were married with 1st in abuja and 2nd in benin the 3rd is also in abuja but staying with a family member too. My friend father was rich but when things became tough the parent seperated and all the kids were left to fend for themselves so after secondary sch in 2010 he moved to abuja with his senior brother the 1st born.
    He did everything for his brother and wife at home, cook, clean, errands e.t.c. time to send him to uni came and it was one excuse to another till no more excuse again, the brother told him it was not his problem.
    That was how he started hustling for years, even with that, he couldn't go to school or save beacuse any money he makes he has to use it to buy food for his brother's wife and kids bcuz the man doesn't buy any food for the house and also add for the wife to pay school fees.
    Last year the man Sent his wife and kids packing and they sepearated and the wife went to get an apartment for her and the kids.
    Then he stopped coming home, sometimes for 2 weeks plus when a is going he goes with bags of cloths and doesn't come back with it (this man is a pastor o). Sometimes, when my friend gets home he had to stay outside bcuz his brother is fu*long another girl. They keep the house keys under their outdoor net since everybody goes out for their daily activities but sometimes the brother will go with the house key and will not pick his calls. He may come back like 1am or sometimes not at all and my friend has to sleep outside.
    Then he stopped coming home all together. One day, my friend went out to hustle as usual and came back and met the landlord who had locked the house and the landlord said the brother told him has moved out months ago and he doesn't know the person staying in the house so my friend is a thief and either he use police to carry him or he should leave without any of his belongings.
    He left but came back with his friend and cut the paddlock in d night and packed his own stuffs. Since he didn't have a bag he Carried his brother Ghana must go and put his load and went to stay with his friend.
    That was how 2 weeks later the brother saw him on the road and beat the living daylight out of him for carryimg his Ghana must go so he went to his friend's house and gave his brother back his ghana.
    Long story short the friend was no different. Always bringing different girls and telling him to wait outside till he finished straffing.
    Thank God he just go his own apartment. But sometimes families are so mean. last he heard the brother had moved to the other end of abuja with another lady.

    1. End time brother. Did you call him pastor? If I hear!

    2. What a brother! Some family ehn....

    3. Brother from hell

    4. Wicked brother
      Pls prevail on your friend to learn a skill while waiting for school.

  19. I lived with my Uncle and his family during my nysc. God! These people are just too nice.
    Imagine eating free food and enjoying free accommodation for one year. I was able to save. No giving of bad attitude from my uncle or d wife. Their mind is just so plain. Good christians whose ways are worth emulating. Oh i Love my uncle and his wife. + their lovely kids. I love them so much. We were all cool through out my stay.
    When i hear people talk about their bad experience with hosts, i just thank God.

  20. I stayed in my half-brother's place immediately after NYSC. Sincerely I am extremely grateful for his invite to Lagos, else I would have roasted in the Village. As expected, I did all the work.
    He was single and so I was friends with all his girlfriends until he dated one girl who just didn't like me.

    Egbon started complaining about everything I did. He complained about how I consume so much milk (yet, I am not a fan of taking milk), I had to buy a tin of milk in my room to show him, I could take 1 tin for 4 months if not more.

    My brother complained about how I was dating guys who stay on the mainland. Yet we lived on the mainland too. After plenty wahala , he was leaving the house one morning and told me to be gone before came back from work. I did. Unknown to him,it was my last day at a Bank's training school. As God will have it , I ran into a friend from my University who had at one time squatted me during NYSC days we exchanged numbers.

    I went back to the village. When i was to resume work, i called the guy up an he agreed to squat me. There were 8 guys sharing a room and pallor.The very first morning , i left the house on time to beat 3rdmainland traffic because my branch was on the island. I saw a car driving out of the estate at around 4.30am. I begged the driver for a ride to the Island. Apparently, the guy had rented a flat around my branch but changed his mind about staying in the place because his friend was redeployed to the mainland.

    On the 3rd day, he offered if i wouldnt mind staying in the place. I agreed. I had no Father, no helper, what is the worse that could happen?. That weekend. I moved in. To cut the story short, this guy helped my banking career.He housed my younger brother and through him, I met my husband. I am married to one of his friends. He supports my business. In deed He is an Angel. He has never met my mum oh. He just helped a total stranger.

    Shout out to Dipo A. May your generation never be stranded. Wherever your children go, they will find favour.God's blessings will continually be upon you.

    God orchestrated the whole move. To Him be all the glory.

    1. Wow lovely story
      Where is that your brother and his girlfriend today?

  21. Living with people is not easy at all,whether friends or family believe me it is not easy.

  22. Interesting story mama Tee.

    When I moved to Lagos because of my NYSC I had alot of relatives to stay with but I chose to stay with this uncle that has been inviting me to come for holidays and I didn't. I thought I would get V.I.P treatment mehn that didn't happen. From day 1 his wife made me very uncomfortable, She woke me up by 5 am to clean the house and the house was small so even before 5:20 am I was through with my chores,very annoying cos I couldn't sleep anymore and my PPA was a 20 minutes walk from the house.
    The kind of food She cooked terrible something and whenever I refuse to eat She'll say my mum has spoilt me.
    She dealt with me in a lot of hurtful ways but I was just grateful I had accommodation closer to my PPA, atleast I didn't spend too money.

    Anyway towards the end of my service year bestie came along, helped me find my way around Lagos and got me a good apartment. Haven't seen her in years because She said I was suppose to buy drinks for them before moving out.
    Squatting with anybody besides your parents is not always easy, sometimes they are not wicked but their way of life could be different.

  23. My family is squatting my younger cousins, two girls. If they had their way they'll oppress us...well I let them do like they want, I don't have their time.

  24. I grew up in a family where we always had guests. Stranded students who come to ABU, my siblings will bump into them and bring them home. Muslim o, Christian ooo. All sorts.
    You know what? I always have people accommodate me whenever I'm stranded. The only challenge I had last year was when I moved to Ib and could not secure accommodation in months. One of my friends introduced me to a friend to accommodate me. She tried for about 2 months but by the 3 Rd month story change. To avoid her I went to pay for a place that was not o.k before I paid for d place I lost my bag with the rent, was I confused... that's an understatement. Same day a some1 accommodated me till I got a place of my own (God bless you wherever you are). The landlord and landlady were like parents to me. Allowed me pay rent instalmentally, renovated & painted the house for me, connected me to their generating set. Give me food sometimes when I get back exhausted from work. I could go on and on.
    Moral: housing somebody is a seed you are sowing, you or your children may reap it somehow, somewhere. Even if they return evil, their stay will have an expiration.
    Sorry for my long epistle.

    1. You were eating the fruits of your parents labour.
      My mum also was helping needy young people an married people alike. Our house was not big enough to squat them but they did not go hungry as mum was always sharing food for them.
      When I gained admission back then, a senior student that I didn't know helped with my registration and housed me for two years before I got my own place. They were always referring to her as my sister till she graduated cos of the way she treated me. Today, people I don't know are the ones who touch my life the most. Relatives are just there.

  25. Wow, I am the mother of all squatters, right from secondary school I had started squatting with people. The one incident that comes to mind now was when I stayed with my mum's cousin, the younger brother used to watch blue film and be masturbating when only both of us were home, I am eternally grateful to God that he never tried to carry out those acts with me then. Squatting with someone can never be the same as being in your real home. I never felt free in a home till i got married, I rented a self con close to my office some months to my wedding and we started from there but I didn't mind cos it was mine and all mine, we have since moved from there.

  26. Hunmmmm.... I once squatted with a very good friend of mine. She was kinda nice but her mood swing was on another level. we will jist before going to bed but the next morning she'll squeeze her face like stone, Then I will be wondering what I did wrong at night. I was always having issues with my relationship then, I will talk to her like a sister and seek for her advice but I didn't know she was the one feeding the guy with my Jist. it was painful but I forgive her bkos i know God has a great plan for me. I broke up wit the guy bkos i was angry that he didn't trust me enough to be gossiping me wit my friend.

  27. I used to squat with 1 of my friend in Phc before i went for service, once she sees #1000 with you, she will make sure you spend it all and come back to borrow some money from her. I cook for the house but and day she cooks, Hmmmm! Her face go travel so you don't eat her food. I washed her pants, cloths, plates used by her friends, clean and more. She is so petty that she steals from me. Thanks to Mrs A. She accommodated me all through my service year in a Abj. She's so kind, lovely, cheerful and accommodating even duo 1of her daughter likes to instigate her against yet she never did. She didn't know me from Adam but our paths crossed and she took me as a daughter. She feeds me with all happiness and joy. Mrs A, God will never stop blessing you. Heaven will answer when ever you call. None of your children will ever get stranded. I pray God bless me with a good job to show you how grateful i am for all the things you did for me.

  28. It's long time overdue when nigerians, especially women must learn that it's ok, wholesome & spiritually secure & safe wise to attain to have their own independent accomodation, privacy right!!!
    Sheltered life or sharing things anyhow is not good thing!!! It opens the doors to abuse, ill treatment, black mail, gossip & innuendos, destiny tampering & even life ending situations like murder, poisoning etc.

    So many people today can't imagine life living alone????
    They must always attach to somebody or share housing & accomodation unneccesarily with others.
    Even when they can afford a room, hotel accomodation, apartment or renting or to buy a house on their own.

    As i was reading this post, it shocked me that even after finding a good job, this person continued sharing housing, food, rent etc with her aunt & daughters. Why???

    *the value of privacy & independence is the begininng of wisdom!!!

  29. Hmmm mama Tee living with people is not easy... from sleepless nights to crying all day and not wanting to go home. I’ve stayed with a pastor and the wife frustrated me till I moved out. Once she sees you resting she will become upset and tag you lazy, always trying to badmouth and shame me but God is faithful. Fast forward to where I am right now my cousins wife tries to act nice but I get to do all the chores she just wakes up and then the next thing is food that’s all. I barely eat in the house but I have just left everything to God to take charge. We learn everyday and this has thought me not to treat people anyhow no matter the circumstance


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