STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THE VIRGIN
Please, this chronicle is about my friend of 38 years old and who is a virgin. According to him, he has slipped a few times like kissing and making out but never done oral and the main thing. He confided in me, he is waiting till marriage to honour God.
He is a true believer and a very good person. He is very very handsome, very tall, wealthy, in short, he is a total package and because of that I noticed he is very picky. Even with making friends, he is very selective and you cannot just enter his friends' circle like that.
Anyway, immediately he opened up that he has been waiting till marriage. I believed him because you can just tell because his lifestyle and ways are different..
The thing is, he said he met an exquisite lady of 35 years and he said before they started dating she told him she is waiting till marriage and doesn't want to have s#x outside marriage. Asides being a virgin, he said she is a good person with a beautiful personality. He is happy because that was the kind of woman he has always wanted. The way he spoils her, you would think he has never seen a woman before.
But he said the issue is, he doesn't want to be fooled because some ladies lie only for the man to find out after marriage. So he is asking, how is he going to know she is saying the truth considering he doesn't intend to eat the forbidden fruit before marriage? He was asking if there are smart ways to figure it out or things he can do so he wouldn't get deceived.
Or practical tactics he can explore that won't involve touching her? Because he knows some even go as far as doing hymen reconstruction surgery.
He said even though he loves her to bits presently, if he finds out after marriage she lied he would definitely make her regret it and she would wish they never met before he finally divorces her. He said he hates lies and he would feel cheated if he found out he was deceived because he doesn't deceive others.
I think there is only one way to find out if she is saying the truth, but he says he can never try that way. I also told him to investigate her past after all he has the money to do it but he says it is going to take time, So I brought it here so he can get some advice if there are faster method that are less stressful which he can apply without her finding out before he proposes to her.
He said even though he loves her to bits presently, if he finds out after marriage she lied he would definitely make her regret it and she would wish they never met before he finally divorces her. He said he hates lies and he would feel cheated if he found out he was deceived because he doesn't deceive others.
I think there is only one way to find out if she is saying the truth, but he says he can never try that way. I also told him to investigate her past after all he has the money to do it but he says it is going to take time, So I brought it here so he can get some advice if there are faster method that are less stressful which he can apply without her finding out before he proposes to her.
This is very funny...must he marry a virgin? can he not accept her the way she is? Imagine looking for how to find out if she is one...If has reconstructed there is no way to know.....The only way to find out i to gbensh her - SIMPLE....
Even you gbensh it won’t confirm for you. No hymen doesn’t mean not a virgin
ReplyDeleteHe should ask her well and explain to her that deceiving him will not be worth it
QED
DeleteOh, I forgot. He is not a finished true child of God or a trusting in God man. Otherwise, he would go ask God about her. And if he goes ahead without an answer from God, he would not want revenge if he finds he was deceived.
By the way, I am a man.
She is waiting till after marriage does not necessarily mean she's a virgin.
ReplyDeleteShe might have decided to go celibate along the way until after marriage.
Did she confirm to him that she's virgin or he just assumed so because she says she's waiting till after marriage?
He shouldn't disappoint himself that way with high expectations only to get heartbroken at the end.
Anyways, if he's so concerned about marrying a virgin, there are no two way out.
He should go do virginity test with her.
He obviously does not trust God. If he must be certain then let them go to a doctor.
ReplyDeleteThank you anonymous 15:18 - he doesnt trust God and he doesnt trust God.
DeleteOriginal Poster - please send your friend to seek Jesus to reveal to him anything that is hidden about this girl.
Even if he has sex with her he may still not know she is a virgin - some women their hymen breaks due to physical activity i.e. sports, cycling or even using tampons.
She may not even be God's choice for him - virgin or otherwise so he should just seek God for wisdom
it's not about being a virgin. i know people that got married to a virgin and they have problem in marriage. it's about the character of the person
ReplyDeletemeanwhile, there's no way to know unless the lady goes to see a medical practional for a test since he doesn't want to gbensh or believe the said person because e hard to see a 35 years old virgina unless the girl woh woh
Former Miss Nigeria Omowunmi who is a virgin @37 is ugly in your eyes ba
DeleteOr You did not read that he wrote the babe is beautiful
are you sure your friend is not a ritualist looking for virgin. at this time and age naim person dey find virgin. it's well
ReplyDeleteThere are guys on this blog that do not hide the fact that they are finding virgins, does that mean they are ritualists? Or is it because it is written up there that the guy is wealthy.
DeleteA virgin that is looking for a virgin like him to marry is jazz ba
Lol.
ReplyDeleteHe said, he said.
Poster let me tell you (cos I know it's your story)
Instead of looking for ways to find out. Sit her down and tell her all these things.
"That she will regret her life if you find out that she lied all along".
Maybe that will make her open up.
I wish you good luck in your quest.
What if "it's his story"?!
DeleteYou guys should stop this rubbish comment after someone sends in a story on behalf of another! Will it change your submissions? Mtchew.
Poster, why your friend dey look for fargin, ehn? Is he a saint? Na this type dey marry borehole!
Anon ...You did not read that he is a virgin too ?.
Deleteabi you just want talk another thing. If the making out is what is confusing una.
Then go to Google and check the meaning of making out and let us hear word abeg and no he won't marry borehole
Very funny chronicle. Tell him to gbensh or forget it. He can also pray and fast for God to show him. Abi kilotu Ku.
ReplyDeleteLet him take her to a gynecologist to see if she is a virgin or reconstructed her hymen. Just know that the lady might resent him because if she didn't doubt him, why must he doubt her. Your friend seem a bit of a wicked snub. He might suffer from delusion of grandeur. If I was the lady I would leave him. Let him go to the village and find a virgin. Mtcheew. I'm a virgin myself and if my man don't believe me let's go to the gynecologist and I will wait and dump you publicly on the wedding day. Aura for Aura.
ReplyDeleteTake her to doctor like a goat samples for sale. Poster, Your friend is not a kind person. The red flags are there
DeleteBorn again that is supposed to pray for God to reveal his true wife or pray for her true identity to be revealed. He should be there looking for ways when he can simply sort it out spiritually. Well, he should keep wallowing in ignorance.
ReplyDeleteWallowing in ignorance ...Why are you vexing like this 😂
DeleteWhat if he has prayed and he is still waiting for a response yet? Or you haven't read on here countless times when believers say they have prayed but haven't gotten a response yet
That’s how my husband met me then and said he wanted to marry a virgin. Someone that has damaged soo many ladies.
ReplyDeleteI told him I am.
I went for surgery and become a virgin for him. Useless man
Your husband wasn't a virgin like the man in the story so good for him abeg
Delete😂😂😂 even though your husband case is different from this chronicle it's still funny.
DeleteThank God he didn't get a virgin. He doesn't deserve one, so good for him. What a hypocrite. 😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Since ur hubby wasn’t a virgin, i wholeheartedly agree wt wat u did. It’s unfair to set a standard that even he cannot meet.
DeleteTell your friend to concentrate more on the lady's character rather than she being a virgin. There are virgins who have very bad character so his primary focus should be her character. Also tell him to deal with his trust issues and just seat the lady down and have an honest conversation about if she's really a virgin or not. There's no way he can find out unless through medical test but a hermen can be broken even without sex so he should focus on the character.
ReplyDelete**hymen
DeleteEveryone has their spec, u don’t go around telling people who to marry, he said he wants a virgin, and since he says he is one too, he deserves to get what he wants. If he wanted character, he would have asked for it but he insisted on virgin so pls allow him to look for one.
DeleteHe already said the lady has good character and he is about to propose. If it was just virginity she has and bad character I doubt the relationship would have gotten to that ievel
DeleteHe already said the lady has good character and he is about to propose. If it was just virginity she has and bad character I doubt the relationship would have gotten to that ievel
DeletePls your friend has done good but he should always remind her that id he finds her lieing he will divorce her because there is no way he can find out order than penetration.At least he will know that she never do all the useless styles at most she could have done oral but even at that it is better than all these dip hole borwhole
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, Just to tell you that guy is not a virgin....Sex is not when you do genital meet and greet only...Once you make out and kiss 😘 you have already had sex...So let's be clear and be adults in the room....
ReplyDeleteTell your friend he can't eat his cake, have it and still want to keep some in the fridge....you must break eggs to make an omelette...Shebi he is a Christian, doesn't he have faith....Since he has someone who perfectly aligns with him on no-sex b4 marriage; what else does he want...Are they not men who carry blank bullets around but still go ahead to marry...
All the best in his decision.....
No saint, google the meaning of sex pls. If he has not had sex, he has not. Ppl that say they can’t remember their body count here, we blv them all the time, but once a person says they are a virgin, many of u look for a thousand ways to discredit what they said. It is not good, there are still very good and God conscious people around.
DeleteThis Habibi advice today shock me ehn. Her own definition of a virgin is out of this world 😂
DeletePhoenix is absolutely correct. According to his story, he has been doing the touchings kissing but yet to penetrate. Once you do the foreplay, all the smooching and kissing you have don the sex thing in your mind and your mind is corrupted in the spirit. I was even wandering why he was insisting on having a virgin when he's already comfortably doing the smooching intro as a born again that he is.
DeleteAnon 18;28 don't mind them.
DeleteYou both didn't read that in the past he 'slipped,' ?which means he did things he doesn't subscribe to or is proud of. He 'slipped,' which means it was past tense, indicating he has gotten back on track and is not doing that anymore. You can tell he is not even doing anything with the present lady or seeing her nakedness, otherwise, he could still figure things out easily on his own without coming here to ask.
Na WA oo.
But if it is someone who has plenty body counts, you people will be saying that it is your past, but someone who said he made out in the past is the one that has a corrupted mind?dey play.
Phoenix is absolutely wrong on this one. Except you both have a different definition for making out.
Making out is heavy kissing with tongues. Where do you see smooching, touching and other things you helped him to add?
Maybe for someone who is sexually active it may have a different meaning but that is just what making out means.
Just heavy kissing ooo not that he even off clothes. So where do you see smooching there?
Even someone who has had sex like crazy but now waiting till marriage in Christ has a renewed mind let alone someone like the guy who is still moving in the right direction. His mind is not corrupt but renewed and the only thing he hasn't done is not just penetration like you claimed. E plenty abegii . He hasn't done anything at all at all and I am sure that was why he was comfortable mentioning the making out stuff to his friend because he knew it was nothing.
He is still a virgin all through and through. Haba!!!!
According to both of you then, the Virgin American actress, Yvonne orji is not a virgin anymore because she is an actress who acts romantic movies and I am sure she does more than making out and kissing sef
And it is wondering ooo, not wandering, @ slim.
Biko.
1:48 he is still in thesame level with those who had various body counts and latter repented. If you have multiple body count and repent of them, God will forgive you same way he forgave the one that did the small sin and they will latter be thesame in the sight of God if they truly repent. So the man in question has repented so I am not judging him, what I am all about is his focus on confirming if the lady he's dating is a virgin as if he has never been guilty of sexual immorality.( Remember, penetrative sex is not the only sexual immorality). What should matter to a child of God is if the person has truly repented. Born again guys hardly spend time looking for virgins, what they search for is a heart that is now genuinely in tune with what's commanded in this scriptures, they look for a reformed soul, someone that has left the old ways of wickedness, sexual immorality, etc . It is the new personality that should matter to him the most.
DeleteWonder😔 , thank you. I didn't know I made that mistake again
My former supervisor in a former place of work was telling me about how God revealed to a brother to marry a lady who had done up to eight abortions and damaged her womb 😫 but later repented and came to God. Note: she genuinely repented and God forgave her how will his reaction be when he finally gets the direction from God to find another lady who used to be a prostitute but has finally repented genuinely?
DeleteAnd I hope you don't misunderstand my stanz as someone who supports sexual immorality. I only stated the facts pls
DeleteWhat you and Phoenix is saying are two different things.
DeleteYou ehn...you are speaking from a spiritual angle while she is talking from a physical angle. She says someone who makes out already had sex.
By the definition of what being a virgin is, is that correct?
I know there are levels to Making out ooo, yea, and you could move further and include hugging or embracing or touching...depending on the boundary you want to cross but you can't jump into conclusions that he went to the extreme and was smooching haba na! because you didn't know where he drew the line. Making out in its simplest form is just heavy intense kissing, Shikena!! So saying he engaged in immorality is somehow became some people don't even see kissing as a sin.
Makes out is just passionate kissing and by every definition the guy is still a virgin and kissing anyone doesn't take that away abeg!
If you ask her Phoenix to define what being a non-virgin means on an exam sheet now, you think she would say someone who indulged in kissing or prolonged intense kissing? Even you sef won't write that.
You on the other hand you are talking about chastity in the eyes of God. It is just like you telling anyone who engages in fornication not to insult a husband or wife who cheats when their partner sends in Chronicles because they are not different from one another but how many do you think will agree with your view? Or you think everyone who castigates married men and women for cheating are celibate?
Physically he is not in the same level with those with body counts who retraced their steps but in the eyes of God because we all are sinners called to repentance.
I don't think having a spec mean he is not a believer or means you should write him off and say he is not a born again. You can say he is not yet a fully mature believer and he is still growing in his walk to learn to trust God because even in this state he is in you still can't even compare him to most guys in the world.
I have read few of your comments and I know you don't support sexual immorality and that is why I understand the angle you are talking from. Any other person who is not you is talking from a different angle Don't be fooled biko
DeleteIf a decent guy says he wants a virgin then he deserves 1. Not being a virgin may not be the issue but let her not be a liar.
ReplyDeletePoster I’m glad you know about reconstructive surgery, cos a desperate woman can do anything especially when money is not her problem.
Let him investigate her past. While at it you all should remember some virgins are lesbians, while some others collect through the back h*le.
Ye, It's obvious the guy is afraid of being with a liar.
DeleteNo mind them
DeleteSome people reject virgins
He wants one. Let him have his choice Abeg
Thank you @fan. The way it is with some people it is a crime, for a decent guy to even think he deserves a virgin. Na to dey look for fault...left right and center. He should investigate her past through prayers . That's the fastest and best way.
DeleteStella, I think the lady is truly a virgin and the virgin guy is just stressing himself over nothing. After all it wasn't as if he demanded for her to be one before she opened up to him about it.
ReplyDeleteThe lady does not even know he is a virgin himself so it is not like she is trying to impress him or deceive him. It would have been a different situation if he asked her if she was a virgin and she replied yes to his question... because in that case we can say she was just telling him what he wanted to hear. But in his case she volunteered the information without pressure or her knowing that was what his expectation of her was.
I have noticed that most virgins guys do take this virgin thing seriously. He is blessed God connected them to each other. He should not mess it up.
He should take the lady to gynecologist for a medical test, but what if she's collecting through back door in other to preserve her virginity for a day like this, because I've read a lot about that, hope the medical test can detect that, good luck to him.
ReplyDeleteSo where should she take him for his own virginity test?
DeleteEka no where
DeleteShe’s not the one asking for virgin
Nowhere in the story was it written the guy disclosed to her he is a virgin or not, so suggesting she takes him for a virginity test is illogical because she is not in anyway questioning if he is truly a virgin or not.
DeleteI doubt he is going to take her for a medical test because he already said he doesn't want her to find out. In this kind of situation praying is the only way for spirikoko like him. Taking matters like who to marry to God in prayer, reveals a lot.
DeleteThe guy didn't tell her he is a virgin or... let me go and read it again.
DeleteI sha know Men hardly brag about this. Most keep quiet about it. It is even most experienced ladies that find out on their own when the guy is acting like a novice for the first time. The babe may not even know.
Shebi you don’t see this friend of yours has skoin skoin
ReplyDeleteWhy should the girl believe he is a varginn,just because he said so
He should bring his oganigwe for test,
If he can’t trust God to lead him aright which may be varginn or not
Than he is a self righteous moving shipwreck
This one is small
His bipolar will show in marriage
That guy isn’t deep
Abeg he should get out
ReplyDeleteGone are the days when a present hymen means a lady is still a virgin!
ReplyDeleteThere was research conducted on UK teenagers, which found that, although a lot of the girls had mentioned having sex before, quite a few still had hymens or partial hymens. Obviously, teenage s*x and adult s*x will differ in terms of organ sizes and experience etc...
Also...let's not forget that whilst some women may have abstained from vag*nal s*x, their mouths and an*s have been very productive!
The lady is question is in her mid 30s - there are a lot of ways she may have lost her hymen, that did not involve s*xual activity. He is either just going to have to believe her, or not!
He’s only concerned about one kind
DeleteHow can you help with that
Poster, tell your friend to pray and ask God for a wife,a friend,a sister,a mother and companion not a virgin, marrying a virgin it's not a guarantee for a better home.that your friend no be Christian oooo Our LORD JESUS CHRIST never selected his friends,Hed was a friend to everyone.he should check the meaning of "Christian. "
ReplyDeleteHow’s the 35 year old lady also sure that you are a virgin? So she can trust ur word but u can’t trust hers?
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing the 35 year old is your friend too, so you can help her write her own chronicle. In the meantime lets concentrate on advising him...
DeleteWell, since the 35 year old is my friend, I’m not interested in advising the friend of this person, concentrate more m advising him instead of replying me
DeleteWhen she decides to brings her own chronicle she will get responses but for now that one no concern us.
DeleteHe should go to a Gynaecologist, I hope he knows virginity doesn't make a marriage sweet or work out, it should be a personal thing. Your friend should also try to be a good husband to his future virgin wife.
ReplyDeleteI do not advise him going the medical route because it is unnecessary. Even if someone is a virgin that doesn't mean they are the ones for you. You still have to pray and let God direct you to the one. Anyone who has kept themselves to a certain standards naturally desires someone who have similar standards so it's understandable that a virgin wants another virgin as a partner but virginity is not everything. I have met virgins who were very vindictive and malicious while some non virgins were angelic in character.
ReplyDeletePs. If any lady is also worrying about how to figure out if a man is truly a virgin or not then that's on her to figure out. It's not the man's responsibility nor his fault he can figure hers out and she can't. Blame it on difference in anatomy.
The guy should open up to the lady about consequences of being deceived by her. Heart to heart talk will surely bring him peace with solution.
ReplyDeleteIf the guy is a virgin & looking forward to marrying a virgin it's the right thing. An Apple for an Apple.
ReplyDeleteThe Most Complex B
He has never been with a lady before, so how will he know if she's lying or not? I think this guy has a lot of issues honestly. If you like her, just go on with it abeg
ReplyDeleteFor all those who are getting angry at this one-of-a-kind decent guy for nothing and saying he has trust issues, bla bla bla, na una sabi. You don't know his experiences or the experiences of others he has heard.
ReplyDeleteI know a woman who lied to her virgin pastor fiancé that she was a virgin, only to get married and found out she said that so he would marry her. The pastor is a relative .
After eight years with kids, she finally admitted she lied after denying and arguing with him for years when he confronted her for not being a virgin.
The madam said she had given her life to Christ, so she felt guilty and wanted to open up. It turned out she had slept with everyone in the neighborhood and had done abortions. It took the intervention of God to settle the matter.
So saying the guy is not a good person is nonsense. He is decent, and his kind is rare. At 38 ? Pleaseeeeee
If fellow guys were like him, maybe the adultery in marriages would reduce. It is even strange that most guys on the blog avoided this post, but you find them on other posts yesterday.
Im trying to understand the backlash here. Everyone has their standards. Some ladies want a tall, dark and handsome man. Some men prefer busty ladies, while others want them slim. Variety is the spice of life.
ReplyDeleteNow, a man...who is a virgin, desires to marry a virgin like him.
What then is the issue? Does he not deserve to have a spec?
It's shocking. Even me, I don't understand what is going on here. The way some are just low key vexing.
DeleteIf a non-virgin desires a virgin then he is a hypocrite
If a virgin desires a virgin then he has issues
mehn, I can't deal abeg😂
You say you are trying to understand? 😅You better don't stress yourself trying to understand people wey no even understand the source of their anger.
DeleteOne is calling him derogatory names and insulting him while another is asking if he is a saint like wtf!
Just looking for loopholes to discredit the guy like they know him from some where. Loopholes wey no make one single sense.
Let your friend get lost! Oha for oha, okro for okro! Let him find his kind, he don smooch n kiss finish, he dey look for virgin! Ode!
ReplyDeleteI sent in this chronicle about a family friend of mine, who is waiting to marry and his concerns, to Stella. Someone said it was me. How could that be when I am a lady? Sometimes, in your life, don't friends, employees, and relatives come to you with issues that trouble them, and you ask others for advice on their behalf? Then you get back to them, or you send them the link to the site where their issues were posted and discussed, which I didn't, because of the unnecessary insults I kept reading. I can imagine how many insults Stella must have deleted.
ReplyDeleteAnother said he may be a ritualist because I indicated he is wealthy. Maybe if I told you he was born into wealth, you would have understood.
Anyways, thanks to those who said he should pray about it, and thanks to Stella for posting. I guess he is impatient because he wants to settle down, but I have told him all he needs is faith, trust in God, and divine direction through prayer. Thank you.
Lol. Only God knows the number of unsavory comments that Stella might have deleted. Big kudos to Stella for trying to make this place a gender inclusive forum.
DeleteHowever, you may now also understand why many men don't drop Chronicles or comments here. Majority of the people will always twist the narrative to paint the man in a bad light. Look at your story for instance. See how the innocent guy was just bashed for having a preference. How dare he!
May God heal our blog ladies from whatever hurt they are facing.
Get her to do a (careful) Transvaginal ultrasound scan under any prretense. That'll show you the anatomy of the hymen and you can even discern other fears.
DeletePersonally tho, virginity is a personal decision based on your principles and not a good for trade. I would rather go for a no virgin who dated for love,than a virgin who is all over town jumping from man to man (tho still a virgin), and I know some like that.
Like some have said and from personal experience, there are more important things to focus on. Besides,virginity DOES NOT imply sexual compatibility.