ADVICE NEEDED
Good Day,Stellar. Please post this as a chronicle.
I am a 34 year old lady, that is dating a 46 year old man with a teenage daughter.
I have done my findings and have confirmed that he is not married.
Of recent, he has been talking marriage. I love him no doubt because he gives me peace, but the age gap is making me feel somehow. Please BVs I Need your advise.
Shuo! wetin do 46 years? you no dey see 22 years olds dey marry 70 years old?....What is wrong with marrying a man his age? Do you know that if we check, you are actually older than him?A woman's Biological clock is not her friend, so think again if you think you are younger than him..
Marry him if he is a good and kind man!
I don't get why you date someone, knowing about the age gap, but when he talks marriage you suddenly remember he is older than you🙄. Are you really worried about his age?? Cos personally, I do not see anything wrong in that.
ReplyDeleteAge is your issue ok nau.
ReplyDeleteThe Most Complex
OP is 34 and still doesn't have sense. His age is making you feel somehow abi? No worry na. By the time you start to pack cobwebs comot from that 'place' your eyes go clear.
ReplyDeleteMust you always be crass
Delete16:26 I used to think him as someone who is articulate and cultured but I don't know what is happening lately with him. Throwing gutter words up and down. Na wa!
DeleteLol. As you can see,he is quite uncouth.
DeleteSorry Dog, but at 47 you may be considered too old for a 34 yr old.
You need to face these little facts sometime. Might as well be now.
This is nothing pls
ReplyDeleteUnless he’s treating you less than because of the age difference
If he loves and respects you pls carry on
12yrs age gap? It depends. Poster it's your decision to make. If you don't feel comfortable, then back off.
ReplyDeleteTrue
DeleteStella, men too have their low sides as they age
ReplyDeleteIn the next 10 -15yrs, he won't be able to satisfy her well in bed, he may have erectile dysfunction, shrinking gbola, doing the do for less than one minute, low libido, etc.
Those that married their grandfathers are not enjoying the other room, they are just enduring it because of the money they see. Some are even cheating codedly with younger men.
So poster, of you think he is too old for you, leave him.
And in the next 10-15 years where do u think she will be? U think she would remain 34? Around that age that u mentioned that he would have downsides, she would have also hit menopause full fledged.
DeleteAnd in the next 10-15 years where do u think she will be? U think she would remain 34? Around that age that u mentioned that he would have downsides, she would have also hit menopause full fledged.
DeleteWho told you this lies?
DeleteOr you just tell yourself this to feel good?
And what exactly do you know happens during menopause that can compare to ED and low libido? At 45years?????
DeleteValid points from both sides.
DeleteAfter my man being older than me from five years below. Let us age together. Not the one that I will become his nurse very soon in life when I should be enjoying my husband when the kids are grown.
ReplyDeleteSee Omoni and her husband.
What of he becomes YOUR nurse?
DeleteThe important is peace of mind. As long as he gives you that. Age is a number. My colleague gave an example of a colleague always giving excuse from work because she is lazy. She married a 70+ canadian man because no want wahala
ReplyDeleteTo me the age gap is appropriate. I am certain,the peace,you're experiencing,it's because of it
ReplyDeleteConnect me to him
ReplyDeleteNo time 😂
DeleteWhat age gap? 46 is too old for a 34 yes old? Just leave the man, look for your type of man before you will frustrate him in marriage because I know that if you truly love him this age will not be an issue for you. You knew all these while that you don't like older men so why did you keep leading him on? Madam, please let him be, look for the man that you would love and be proud of. Men should observe to know if a woman truly love them before proposing to them if they really want to enjoy marriage.
ReplyDeleteThere is an age gap abeg
DeleteIt’s just a matter of whether she’s okay with it
16:27, there is no age gap oo, remember she is 34 alrdy, any man that is her age or a little bit older will find her too old for him, he wud want a woman in her 20s. So this her man is the most appropriate for her. Remember, she would soon start perimenopause oo.
Delete17:33 this you comment is not true. Lots of ladies in their 30s are married to men with closer age range. Some even married younger that I know of.
DeleteWhat do you mean she would soon enter premenopause?... Poster don't let anyone scare you with baseless fear-mongering message do what ever brings you peace.
DeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteNa you hold yam, na you hold knife so this decision is solely yours to make.....Age is nothing but a number however someone of that age not married or commitment would signal a red flag for me....
However you must ask him some hard questions about his request to do life with you, what are his thought processes, is he considerate of you despite the age difference...Nne, really shine your eyes, what is his relationship with his baby mama? You must be wise as serpent and not allow desperation make you take a wrong decision..........
Men sef have their own biological clock just like we women have but this is a conversation for another day, however this is a life time decision you need to make...
Pray earnestly, watch his body language and ask God to give you a discerning spirit....Ju ese ofuma (Ask questions very well)....However, if you are certain he is a genuinely kind man and deeply cares about you, go for him and accept his proposal....
Congratulations on whichever outcome it will be....
All the best....
The age gap is not a problem,marry him if he's a kind man
ReplyDeleteE don reach to dey give dirty slap to those girls that says "I cannot marry him" after he must have proposed. What were you doing in the relationship with him if you knew you wouldn't want to settle down with his/her kind of person? Did you tell him initially that you were in the relationship just for fun? Not that he maltreated you or something. Even if he/she maltreated you, why not breakup earlier if you know that you wouldn't tolerate such attitude in marriage ?
ReplyDeleteI don't see any problem here.
ReplyDeleteMarry him ASAP.
ReplyDeleteSit there dey wonder about age . Which age gap?At your age are you not worried about being single ?
ReplyDeleteYou see someone that wants to wife you ,you are talking about age gap.Don't worry when you miss this one that is interested now,you may end up even settling for older person. The important thing is , does he care for you? Does he give you peace? Does he fit into husband material ?
If you say yes to all these questions ,then you are good to go. The age difference is insignificant. Like Stella rightly said there are ladies much younger than you marrying much older men.
Please wait for 36-40 yrs old man but the problem for those in your group is that they are looking for beautiful ones less than 30 yrs ,your age bracket is not in their radar,pls continue waiting
ReplyDeleteYou are so right 👍
DeleteThis is a lie
DeleteThe stats show this is not the case
17:48 Leave them let them be lying.
DeleteMy darling age is just a number.
ReplyDeleteSome marry older and the person acts like a child. Others marry same age or younger and the person acts mature
Study the character and maturity of the man. Ascertain he's kuns, empathetic and humane.
Ensure he lives you as much as you do or more than.
marriage needs maturity ooo. Many men are babies. Nah dem keep m.alice pass, nah dem nag pass, nah dem querrel pass, nah dem dey bea.t women because of the women sharp mouth, nah them dey run after anything in skirt etc
So check your man well.
So long as he ticks d boxes , that age gap is ok ooo.
Also, him blood no go too dey hot, so u go dey rest intermittently 🙄🙄🙄
No marry am o, he’s too old, wait for a 30 yrs old or 20yrs sef, you’re 34 and still asking this kind of question. He gives you peace just 12 yrs age gap, de play.
ReplyDeleteNow where did you get your latest piece of bull crap, Stella?
ReplyDeleteThere is not a single piece of evidence of this crap you just spouted.
OP, there is a risk with marrying someone so much older than you of being overruled and overshadowed.
Will you have your space to grow? Will you be an equal partner in decision making?
If not,Run. No time.
12 years gap and you are asking questions. If the man is giving you headache or uses his age difference on you then you should be afraid but if he gives you peace of mind which is what everyone is looking for in marriage please go ahead and marry him. You will find out that by the time you give birth to one child, your body system will change and you will start looking like 40 plus except you take good care of yourself. Women we grow older than our age especially because of pregnancy and motherhood.
ReplyDeleteAunty pray make him no dump you for twenty something year old lady inugo.
ReplyDeleteIf a 34 is not even interested you think it is a 20 something that would be interested. Keep hyping the man
Delete19:7 are you for real? Where are those secondary school students dating their dad's age mates coming from? From inside the water I guess
DeleteSlim shaddy, it's mostly due to survival, longer throat or lack of financial sustenance. So if you are in your 20s, you would go for a 46 years old man? Please let's be saying the truth.
DeleteMy only advice is be careful. Do Your findings about him.
ReplyDeleteMarrying a man who has a teenage daughter and not married to her mother.
I didn't say don't, I said check and ask questions.
Find out who she is, why he didn't marry Her mother etc and see if this a relationship you want to invest in.
Poster, he has a teenage daughter and you are not even asking about the role you would play in her life. Any fuck up with his child, you would be seen as a threat from him, his baby mama, child and family, So better stop worrying about his age and worry more about how you fit into this whole situation.
ReplyDeleteYou may not see it now, but it very important you ask to know your stand.
SO why did you waste this man's time until he got connected to you and now talking marriage? You knew he was 46 with a child from the beginning, you string him along for reasons best known to you, and now when he is finally ready to settle down you are concerned about the age gap. You love him and he gives you peace but you still concerned about the time God placed him on the planet versus when he placed you. He can't undo his age and you cannot speed up yours.
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you.
Didn't you know his age before dating him?it's up to you..If it's bothering you so much then leave.
ReplyDeletePoster nothing is wrong with the age difference na, if the man gives you peace then don't let his age be barrier
ReplyDeleteAge is just a number.If he is a good and he loves you,marry him.
ReplyDeleteAunty, there is nothing wrong with the age....
ReplyDeleteAbeg send him my way. I am single and need an intentional man
ReplyDeletePoster, just ensure that you/your family does the ajuju (questioning) about his family and all, as you would if he was in your age group. 12 years is okay, as long as he has good intentions.
ReplyDeleteAbi you no dey see some of the young guys dem wey full here, with their level of reasoning, what do you think they will turn into at age 46? It's the intentions that matter. MAKE YOUR FINDINGS!