Hmmmmmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BAD FRIEND
My mum died one month ago and her supposed best friend hasn't visited since she heard my mum was killed and we are in the same town..
In fact the transport fare from her house to ours is not up to 1500 naira plus she never visited when she (my mum) was alive and very sick but I'm more hurt when up till now, after her death she still didn't show up, because if a reverse was the case, my mum would have moved to her place to take care of her.
But from her friend, No visit! no calls after the one time she called to confirm my mum's burial date.
But from her friend, No visit! no calls after the one time she called to confirm my mum's burial date.
This is the same person that calls my mum "Ufan ima" in our tribe.
To think my mum went out of her comfort zone for this particular friend several times, gave her money several times still marvels me but I am happy when ever I remember that before my mother was killed, on few occasions I told her to look closely into her friendship cos I saw the energy wasn't reciprocal.
To think my mum went out of her comfort zone for this particular friend several times, gave her money several times still marvels me but I am happy when ever I remember that before my mother was killed, on few occasions I told her to look closely into her friendship cos I saw the energy wasn't reciprocal.
Things dey happen ooo.....
The death of my mum made me fear people!
I have run into her one or two times but she didn't see me,is there any need I confront her?
HUH?.... confront her that what? what does she owe you? Who are you to measure the kind of friendship she had with your mum?Did your mum complain to you?Because you have run into her doesnt mean that you know what she is going through or why she has stayed away....
Note that she doesnt owe you a visit!
Someone else may disagree with me but this is my mindset.
Move On!
Confront her, for what exactly??? If she pays you a visit, fine..if she doesn't don't sweat it. Just ignore her.
ReplyDeletePlease do not confront anybody. Let bygone be bygone
DeleteAnd if she visited, you would have still twisted the lies to make her an enemy. Some people and their foolish mindset sef.
DeleteI’m sorry poster you are very correct
ReplyDeleteDon’t let ANYONE make you think you’re wrong in this
This friend is very useless
Please accept my condolence.
ReplyDeleteThat said kindly let sleeping dogs lie. Let this woman be o
You don't have to confront her, go on with your life and forget about her.
ReplyDeleteThis is the best advice. an adage says death exposes alot.
DeleteJust watch her and be careful.
Sorry for the lost.please this is your mourning period and you don't need to keep grudges. You can even reach out to her and politely tell her you are yet to get any form of communication since the death of your mom
ReplyDeleteMy dear take it easy you hear, I know grief makes people suspect and think the worst.
ReplyDeleteWhat if she is going through some challenges also, what if she can't afford 1500 transport to pay to your house?? Please sit this one out.
I am so sorry for your loss, may the good Lord console your and your family
People have various form of grieving. When I lose my beloved Dad😘, I lock myself in my room and everyone understood I needed to be alone.(only the visitors). Just let her be
ReplyDeleteBut she didn’t show during sickness either
DeleteIgnore the woman and face front
DeleteStella your mindset dey marvel me a lot of the time.
ReplyDeletePoster, I’m so sorry about you loss. I by it hurts like nothing you ever felt. Everything you feel is valid. And yes the woman owes you guys at least a visit, except she is bedridden. And even if she is bedridden, she can call.
But since she refused to do any of those, do not confront her. The good thing is she has shown her colors so you should not ever have anything to do with her henceforth.
But the said woman has proven to them that she doesn’t owe them anything, not even a visit. And guess what, there is nothing anybody can do about it, they can only grumble. They can’t go to her house and beat her, neither can they sue her or force a visit out of her. So what does that tell you? She doesnt owe the nada.
DeleteSorry at the loss of your dear mum. It really is odd that such a supposed good friend has not turned up. It may be related to money, as you know it would be expected that she bring some monetary contribution to offer the family and if her financial state is such that she has nothing to offer, it may be why she hasn’t shown her face.
ReplyDeleteAsk yourself if she showed up empty handed would you talk about it? You can casually ask her when you see her how come she didn’t visit the family home, but your tone has to be neutral and you ask it as a pure question not an accusation. The behaviour is odd but there may be a legitimate reason why so please do not accost her, let it be. The funny thing is the people who don’t show will find the fare and time if they hear that there is something left in the will for them to receive. Humans are strange unpredictable creatures. An elephant wouldn’t do it, they would be there mourning their friend. Humans are not elephants.
Ufan Ima= My lovely friend,I understand your pain,but it's not the end of the world,people deliberately do things to hurt you especially so called close people,but the best reaction is no reaction,grieve silently,loosing a mother is like loosing chapters of your life that can never be rewritten,move in silence,invite her to your mother's burial,and watch her closely,just watch don't react,don't confront her,treat her like your mother best friend she once was,an evil person is always fidgety when the person they have hurt does absolutely nothing.
ReplyDeleteIf you have invested in people you demand a certain level of accountability from them. Friendship is a lot, and requires sacrifice. The Nigeria version on the other hand is just filled with users. I think that's what is playing out here.
ReplyDeleteIm sorry about your loss but be VERY CAREFUL. Anyone that does not reach out to you during thus trying time you ignore and face your front. I know it hurts and you have ecery right to feel this waybut please protect yourself.
ReplyDeleteAccept my condolences poster. Pls let her be, she had already shown the kind of person she is even to your late mom, if she comes for the burial ceremony, fine, if not kindly forget about her. May her soul rest in peace.
ReplyDeleteWe all react to situations and mourns differently,
ReplyDeleteSorry about your mom poster
ReplyDeleteI suggest you forget about the woman and focus on yourself.
Poster it's well with you ❤️🌹💋 don't confront her,let her conscience judge her.
ReplyDeleteYo are right to feel like this.But let her be.
ReplyDeletePretend she doesn't exist, you don't have the right to confront her since she is not even your direct friend. May God conform you and grant your mum rest. Not everyone is our friend.
ReplyDeleteAs painful as it sounds, there's nothing you can do about it. Just move on
ReplyDeleteHmmm @Poster, this woman is your mum’s friend, right? She didn’t show up the whole time your mum was sick, and the only time she called was to ask when the burial was happening… hmmm. Something feels off. Please don’t confront her directly. Since your mum has already been laid to rest, it’s better to just face front and remain prayerful.
ReplyDeleteIs your dad still alive? If yes, I can’t shake the feeling that your mum’s friend may have been jealous of her and might have had a hand in her sickness and passing, possibly because she wants your dad. I know this may sound unusual, but that’s honestly the way I feel.
Poster, confront her when next you see her. Let her know how you feel and how your mom would have done more for her.
ReplyDeleteSometimes ignoring solves nothing. Let people who hurt and disappoint
you know how badly they've behaved and leave the rest to their conscience.
If she ever attends the funeral, act like she doesn't exist and make sure you do not create an avenue for her to speak to you.
May her soul find rest.