We stopped at a close distance when we got to the lady's ancestral home. We enquired from families around about this lady and her family background.
The feedback we got were all on the positive. The family was said to be a good one, so also was the wife to be. We went back and delivered the message to the young man unknowingly to the lady that we visited their home. This was during my school years back then at Enugu.
They eventually got married and now have kids together.
In life, we all have the right to choose and consider certain factors when looking for a partner. Marriage is all about one's personal choice and decision in life. The choice is the sole responsibility of an Individual.
There are some men that a woman's past matters a whole lot to and there are some who don't mind and will see it as past deed.
While I was in a barbing salon, I listened to conversations between the barber and a customer he was attending to. It was the gist of a guy living in the same area with us that got married to an olosho he was knacking at a brothel.
While I was in a barbing salon, I listened to conversations between the barber and a customer he was attending to. It was the gist of a guy living in the same area with us that got married to an olosho he was knacking at a brothel.
How he convinced himself over that decision was beyond everyone. He described the lady as very beautiful and young.
Nothing anyone said could change his mind. Even the barber told him some guys in the area might have gbensed her as well. This still didn't change a thing. To prove how serious he was on about it, he began dating her and gradually pulled her out from the brothel to his home.
What a love....... So rare.
His friends who were on the know, eventually gave up and accepted his decision.
They finally got married and have kids. Before marriage, friends had thought he would relocate to a new area when they began dating and cohabiting but were disappointed. Even after marriage, he still didn't change base.
Nothing anyone said could change his mind. Even the barber told him some guys in the area might have gbensed her as well. This still didn't change a thing. To prove how serious he was on about it, he began dating her and gradually pulled her out from the brothel to his home.
What a love....... So rare.
His friends who were on the know, eventually gave up and accepted his decision.
They finally got married and have kids. Before marriage, friends had thought he would relocate to a new area when they began dating and cohabiting but were disappointed. Even after marriage, he still didn't change base.
The barber went on to say, sometimes they'd taunted him by hailing him as the first man in the community that turned an olosho into a house wife. ''Pay as you go others dey do, e reach your turn, you carry am wholesale.'' He'll respond to them provided they didn't marry their wives a virgin, they're all ex ash#wo.
He never took the taunting serious as the barber narrated, rather he'll boastfully say to them, ''leave am na my choice.'' At this point, I will say even an olosho deserves love. They're humans too.
When I left the salon, I pondered on their conversations and I marveled at the kind of mind such a man possessed. So many questions ran through my mind. Could it be a special treatment she gave him that did the magic or was there more to it?
He never took the taunting serious as the barber narrated, rather he'll boastfully say to them, ''leave am na my choice.'' At this point, I will say even an olosho deserves love. They're humans too.
When I left the salon, I pondered on their conversations and I marveled at the kind of mind such a man possessed. So many questions ran through my mind. Could it be a special treatment she gave him that did the magic or was there more to it?
Personally to me, I don't think I can go into a marriage with a woman I met in that line of hustle in a brothel. Even if I do, I'll change location. So I'll give it to the guy for the way he handled it all. Even with friends taunting him, he stood by his choice. Not everyone will take it calmly.
In life, I have seen so many things happen. I have seen good women turn bad and I have equally seen condemned women turn good.
When it comes to marriage, one thing I'll say to anyone willing to listen is this. Do whatever gives you stability. By stability I mean peace of mind. Whoever brings that peace to you as a man counts.
In all, whatever you do, marry right.
In life, I have seen so many things happen. I have seen good women turn bad and I have equally seen condemned women turn good.
When it comes to marriage, one thing I'll say to anyone willing to listen is this. Do whatever gives you stability. By stability I mean peace of mind. Whoever brings that peace to you as a man counts.
In all, whatever you do, marry right.
"In all, whatever you do, marry right."
ReplyDeleteBe the right person as well. You can marry right all you want but if you are not the right person or lacks the emotional maturity, depth and intelligence required to maintain a relationship with the right person in harmony, you end up frustrating your partner. Changing them for the worse and bringing out negative parts of them they never knew they were capable of.
Whatever we do, if we are committed to making marriage easy for our spouse and they do the same, marrying right is the natural result.
100% agree
DeleteI listened to a woman of God on YouTube last month say a person might be good but not good enough for you
DeleteWith your write up I am inclined to believe
@Teejay, yes, marrying right matters, but as @DOGgedity rightly notes, be the right person too, “whoever comes to equity should come with clean hands.”
DeleteSo, it depends on what you mean by "right." If you mean legally and socially, marriage is widely recognised and followed. If you mean emotionally or relationally, building a partnership that’s healthy, respectful, and enduring- then yes, many people do, but it’s less common than we like to think.
Many marriages succeed, many struggle, and some fail spectacularly. And that’s because marriage is a dynamic system, not a static state. Love, respect, patience, and accountability must be renewed constantly, or even the strongest bonds can falter - human emotions are involved here.
Well said
DeleteMarriage is a lifetime project, marry who compliments you in all ramifications ,find a partner that completes you, prioritize emotional well being and security over external judgments.
ReplyDeleteWhile individual choices vary, focusing on what brings personal peace and stability to navigating life's major decisions is very paramount.
Key takeaways from your perspective.
Well done Teejay.
Thank you for sharing boss
ReplyDeleteAt times that kind of marriage dey last
ReplyDeleteI wish you made it a piece about both sexes but it's definitely a good one.Welldone.
ReplyDelete"He'll respond to them provided they didn't marry their wives a virgin, they're all ex ash#wo."
ReplyDeleteOmo, may we not marry an ashawo, there's nothing like an ex ashawo.. once a soldier, always a soldier
Once a pimp, always a pimp! Once a cheat, always a cheat..but life is not black and white...people do change!
DeleteLife is a risk, the vast majority of individuals were conceived accidentally, but along the way of life everyone got on with it. Sometimes that is just how you have to live life, by just getting on with it even if the way forward is not clear and life seems a great unknown, just get on with it. Happiness is not guaranteed in any choice we make, but living life fearful of living fully or making a wrong choice is not a good way of living either.
ReplyDeleteVast majority how? Are you high?
DeleteTee Jay very nice piece
ReplyDeleteI really like reading your stories, both here in your official column and in the other columns
Your storytelling is very engaging
Your stories are very comprehensive
They are not winding, convoluted and confusing
They are very clear and straightforward
They are also very interesting and informative
It is rather unfortunate that some blog visitors do not appreciate your craft
Do not let them give you the idea that we all see you as a nuisance
Some of us really appreciate you and look forward to reading the short pieces you drop in the different columns
Kudos
Your work is excellent
It sometimes feels as if one is reading Pacesetters or African Writers Series novels
It gives you this nostalgic feeling
Why not experiment with writing, see if it agrees with you?
You have the potential to write authentic Nigerian stories; the way the various Pacesetters and African Writers Series authors captured the flavor of their respective countries in their novels
For all you know, you could be the next Chinua Achebe
Love ya
😘
I almost forgot…
DeleteI think I agree with what you said in Spontaneous Post that you will no longer be dropping gists in the other posts
Some bvs make it a point to always drag and troll you under your comments
I think is a good idea not to give them the opportunity to disrespect you again
But some of us would still want to read those gists o
☺️
Then how about you compile all the gists for a situation - like how you are currently in is it Buguma?
How about you condense all the gists into one story and post it in your column?
That would make very interesting reading
Could you consider it?
Can’t wait
👩🏻💻
Wow! Unexpected and interesting. It’s not easy to do what the msn did and I commend him. We should all try to not take the option that may haunt us in future. I love this column? Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteNice one 👍
ReplyDeleteThe man's type is rare and I'm glad that the wife didn't disappoint him.
ReplyDeleteSome of these ladies were pushed into olosho.
Well-done Ezege 👍🏼 you're doing well.
Whatever that gives one peace and happiness .
ReplyDeleteAnother man's meat is another man's poison.
Whatever that gives one peace and happiness .
ReplyDeleteAnother man's meat is another man's poison.
@Teejay, your post illustrates my point perfectly. Marriage isn’t about the story people tell; it’s about the mind behind the choice. This isn’t simply “turning an ex ash#wo into a housewife” or scoring a moral victory. It’s about intentionality, emotional gravity, and boundary-setting.
ReplyDeleteWhat fascinates me is how decisiveness, self-awareness, and tolerance intersected in your story: the man’s choice wasn’t popular, but it was deliberate, informed, and aligned with his own definition of peace and stability.
The wider point is that, life constantly throws unconventional situations at us. Marriage doesn’t reward convention, status, or even public approval; it rewards clarity of purpose, self-understanding, and the courage to carry a choice through criticism. Everything else, backgrounds, gossip, and expectations, is all just noise.
In other words, marrying right isn’t about finding the perfect partner - there's none. It’s about finding the person who can navigate life with you without destabilising it and having the courage to make that choice unapologetically.
Thank you for your column, it's not easy penning notes out.
Yeah we just have to he doing what gives us the peace that we need
ReplyDelete