AGE DIFFERENCE
Hi Stella,
Thank you for amazing blog. Please hide my email.
I’m a 37 year old female who is in a relationship with a 25 year old.
We really do love each other and hope to get married someday (soon).
The issue now I’ve been so scared as to how his parents will react to our relationship. His mum most especially.
His sisters are on board but we are more concerned about the mum and we don’t know how to go about it.
Am I even doing the right thing by being with someone his age? We have been praying about it but I’m having cold feet and so scared.
This man is everything I have prayed for. He loves me so much and I am sure of it. He is godly just like I have asked God for.
I have cried so many times, asking God why he brought my answered prayers in the body of a 25 year old.
I’m at crossroads now and I don’t want to give my happiness up. I’ll like to hear other opinions on this matter.
Please advise. Please help!
This man is everything I have prayed for. He loves me so much and I am sure of it. He is godly just like I have asked God for.
I have cried so many times, asking God why he brought my answered prayers in the body of a 25 year old.
I’m at crossroads now and I don’t want to give my happiness up. I’ll like to hear other opinions on this matter.
Please advise. Please help!
Age is nothing but a number.....
Tell the mum the age she wants to hear, it is none of her business who her child decides to settle with and your age is not her business....It is you people in Nigeria that enpower parents not to mind their business....
Please after reading this Narrative, i hereby declare that you are also 25 years old...Tell the mum that and keep it going....And if she finds out and tries to make an issue of it, ask her if she is your mum that birthed you....
He is a mature man, right. If yes, go for it. All the best, dear.
ReplyDeleteKnow this one thing
ReplyDeleteDon’t ever let go of anything good on your own
If it’s taken from you, that’s one thing
But to leave it cause of fear. Mba no
You want to hear other opinions and you want to know if you are doing the right thing.
ReplyDeleteWell it is simple, ask yourself if you will like a 37 year old woman to date your 25 year old son. If you have brothers, try picturing them with an older woman. Whatever your conscience tells you is the answer.
Gbam
DeleteMust dey know your age? Are you feeding him and paying bills? Is he financially independent?
ReplyDeletePoster please make sure he is really aware of what he is going into. He is still young and may want to explore in the future. I am more concerned about you not getting hurt.
ReplyDeleteMy sentiments too. If he were above 25,would have said he's mature but 25 is too young to be the husband of a 37 year old woman please! No matter how mature yall think he is, he's still 25!!
DeleteI agree with you. Its a different ball game if the lady is say 50 and the guy is 39. 25 is still trying to figure things out in this world. Its more of the guy's decision than his parents agreements
DeletePoster don't let him turn you to sugar mummy o. Na so one almost turned me to sugar mummy. I decided to try order ones but those ones are only looking for kpekus with no future in mind. The younger ones who are ready for marriage have nothing going well for them in terms of finance.
ReplyDeleteAside age, does he have good character and values? Is he financially stable and responsible? Remember that most broke guys are very loving and loyal! Can you trust his leadership? Why does he prefer someone 12 years older?
ReplyDeleteIf both of you are mature adults, share the same values, and are committed to a future together, then the age gap alone should not determine the success or failure of the relationship.
ReplyDeleteThe bigger question is not what his mother will think, but whether he is mature enough to stand by his decision respectfully and whether both of you are prepared for the opinions that may come from family and society.
Take your time, have honest conversations about marriage, children, finances, and long-term goals. If those align, then focus less on the numbers and more on the quality of the relationship. His family may need time to adjust, but a healthy relationship built on love, respect, and compatibility often speaks for itself.
Don't let fear make the decision for you. Let wisdom, compatibility, and shared purpose guide you. ❤️
Abeg the age gap is too much haba.
ReplyDeleteA whole 12 years.
As in ehn, it’s giving mother and son relationship.
DeleteThe Declaration For Me
ReplyDeleteIya Boys Done Turn Prohhetess ooo..😁😁
@Poster Age Is Nothing But A Number Seems You Both Love Each Other Please Tell The Mother
Wishing You Two All The Best 🙏
Hello iya Boys
Please stop, abeg, Chika.
DeleteIn this case, age is NOT nothing but a number.
Make una dey try talk true small, abeg. By the time this guy gets to say, 35years, this lady would be 47 or so and won't be looking same way as she does now.
When child birth and motherhood palava sets in and the guy begins to "play away match" and she comes here with another chronicle, it's you ladies singing, "Age is nothing but a number", that will nail her to the cross and ask her who told her to marry her "younger brother".
Poster, please, use your tongue to count your teeth.
What is the guy himself saying? Is he financially dependent on you? If he is, then you don't know his true position. Even if he helps you lie to his mum no due to what he gains from you, in the long run he may change. That age margin is wide. If he is my brother or my son, I will not support that relationship.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if it is genuine love and he can stand up for you, the choice is yours.
I personally think the age gap is too much, it would be different if the other way around bc women mature differently than men. In a few yrs the gap will be further widened when you get into your forties and he’s in his late twenties. Then the insecurities you’re feeling will be further widened and love will not be enough. In your heart of hearts you know it’s beyond his mum that’s why you’ve been crying at night. Allow him to explore life he may not even be ready to settle except for your age, if you were my friend I’ll say let him go, he’s too young for you.
ReplyDeleteCan u pple ever be truthful for once?
ReplyDeleteThe age gap is too wide and i dont care if he has all the qualities she wants in a man,its a total no-no 👎.
Order one bottle of chilled Pepsi on my head biko.
DeleteIs it your age gap
DeleteThank you, 17:11. The gap is just TOO WIDE abeg.
DeleteAnd those singing "Age is just a number", "Love is a beautiful thing", pray tell, will you allow your brothers marry a woman who is 12years older than they are? Honestly, ask yourselves that question. And you too poster, if you were a mother, will you allow your son marry a lady with that age gap?
And na for this blog, we dey always hear, "The woman's biological clock, one thing one thing". I guess the clock is broken, yea?
My course mate ( male) got married to our lecturer ( female) they are happily married both traditional and white wedding, with one kid now, age is just a number.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the age difference between them? 12 years? Or more?
DeleteWhat is being "happily married"? Is it being and living together as husband and wife? Is it by meeting for and raising children together?
How many of us saying marry him will gladly marry a man 12 years older if that is the ONLY (read with full all-round latitude in meaning) difference between both of us.
Do you live with them?
DeletePoster, Hope you no dey among those people wey bin dey abuse Sophia momodu? Because dis days when you mocked someone God dey reward you instantly.
ReplyDeleteAll of a sudden, age is just a number.
ReplyDeleteWe didn't see these comments with Ned and Regina, or Peter Okoye and Ifeoma
👀 👀
Was it 12 years
DeleteDid Ned look like someone anyone thinking well should marry with his 4 or wives already
Those saying age is just a number, note that, this is not a 40 year old man dating a 52 year old woman. The boy is 25 years, his frontal lope is not even developed yet. Give him 10 years when he's fully matured and see if his choices will still be the same. Women will be seeing red danger and walk into it, pretending to be confused.
ReplyDeleteMadam, leave someone's child alone and wait for your husband. A boy you should be advising and mentoring; I hope you are not giving him kpekus.
Put age aside, what about other factors?
ReplyDeleteIs he financially capable.
Hope he is not looking for a sugar mummy he will use to pass time.
He is too young
"Can u pple ever be truthful for once?"
ReplyDelete"ask yourself if you will like a 37 year old woman to date your 25 year old son?"
The answer to both question is no.
And we all know it
But ...
I hope when you are 47 and he is 35 you will not have a problem with him discovering himself as a young man... I hope you have discussed menopause and some things he might want to know about. I hope when young girls appeal to him as he gets older, you will not have a problem with it. These are real life challenges. Don't lie to his mother if you are scared and having cold feet, it simply means you know that this is wrong in every side.
ReplyDeleteWow. I'm happy for you. I wonder what would happen when his frontal love truly develops. Might not be pleasant then
ReplyDeleteAs long as the man is not on the party scene, hooked on social media or video game culture, and mature and ready for the commitment of a longterm relationship, then there is not much to fear in terms of a happy union. However, I do not personally know of a relationship where the woman is significantly older than the man and it works until death do they part. These relationships usually fizzle out eventually. The longest I know of is about 25 years marriage, but they eventually divorced, still I wouldn’t call 25 years a failure.
ReplyDeleteRemember that these relationships have a power dynamic, he is not your son or beneath you because you know more about the world, earn more, or have friends who have already achieved. If he truly loves you and he is not with you out of pity, monetary gain, making influential contacts or something that serves him materially, then go right on ahead and make your happiness with the one who makes you happy. Do not be ashamed of your age. Just remember that he is 25 and lacks the life experience that you do, his wisdom and discernment may not be fully there yet, so patience and understanding is required as he is growing to become a man.
Very few mothers would accept their 25 year old son being with a 37 yr old woman. If you’re rich or influential some may accept it for obvious reasons, but if look your age or is an unknown be prepared for a possible pushback. The obvious question will always be why you can’t find someone your own age or older, and if you’re seeking someone to control. There will be those wondering what you could possibly talk about and if you’re just using him for seck. All these concerns are valid.
"... We have been praying about it but I’m having cold feet and so scared.
ReplyDeleteThis man is everything I have prayed for. He loves me so much and I am sure of it. He is godly just like I have asked God for.
I have cried so many times, asking God why he brought my answered prayers in the body of a 25 year old."
Poster, you both have been praying but has God given you a "Yes" or a "Go ahead"?
Again, the moments you "cried , asking God why he brought your answered prayers in the body of a 25year old", did God tell you this young man is/was the answer to your prayer?
My dear poster, "Not all open doors are God's doors."
I am not asking all these to make you feel judged or condemned or whatever it is. If you know how you hear from God, I think it's time you wipe those tears off your face, and go meet Him in your secret place. Go hear from God and get your convictions before embarking on this life time journey. "The blessings of the Lord naketh rich and addeth no sorrow with it." If he is God's answer to you, then, you are not supposed to be "at a crossroad". You are supposed to be basking in a peace that surpasses all understanding, having your convictions and even His word that He would give you as "your shield".
#JustSaying
Bingo💯
Delete@poster, if he were my brother or son, I will not allow you marry him period!!!! Thats a boy and not a man... Abeg go and look for someone closer to your age.... Inukwa.... You are looking for who you will be ordering around the house bah??
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, okay ooo.
ReplyDeleteHope money is not involved, I mean the sisters that are on board (even with the young man too)?
12 years is really wide. Now is not the issue, it's later when the age difference will be very obvious.
Cry your cries now and heal than when it won't be easy to.
At 25 his brain is not fully formed.
ReplyDeleteEven the ones thirty and above struggle with maturity and emotional intelligence.
At 25, he is just a post teenager.
And a Nigerian boy for that matter.
I hope you got yourself a unicorn though.
Honestly, I'm just wondering what on earth do you have in common with a 25 year old??
ReplyDeleteWhat do you discuss?
What life experiences do you share?
What circles do you both belong to?
IQ and EQ wise, is he at par or better? Because being below is not an option.
Who has the financial muscle?
Who is doing the heavy lifting?
Ask your self these and other relevant questions.
Ignore the moths in your belly, reality will snuff their lights in the twinkle of an eye.