DOGS Corner

I want to share with you today something that traumatised me greatly and changed my mindset about hanging out with ladies who live on the wild side......

 

There I was in 2011. A young man in school with change to spare. Very shy and not yet familiar with the ways of women or girls at the time. I was living it up — or so I thought. Clubs and all were a regular. There were women all around our circle then, but none I could muster the courage to approach. That was until I met her. I’ll call her Fidelia.

I never knew I had a desperate weakness for chubby and big‑jugged women. I became a near imbecile running after this girl. Fidelia chopped me so much that I became an object of mockery in my circle of guys. But once a man sees a girl with plenty of “bobby,” how will sense remain?

My guys talked sense into me to forget about the girl since she obviously wasn’t into me. Hard as it was, I agreed. That was until this particular Tuesday. Out of the blue, Fide called around 9:30 p.m. asking that I come pick her up from school because she wanted to club. She also requested that I come along with grilled catfish.

I was stupid then. So I rushed to wake my guy so we could start going. I fueled his car and we drove over 20 kilometres to meet this girl. I even bought two grilled catfish — the biggest I could find — for 7k each. That money was a tidy sum in 2011.

We arrived. Fidelia was hotly dressed and had packaged her boobies so well that my eyes practically fell out when I saw her. She collected the fish and took it inside the hostel. Before long, she came out with three other girls, all dressed hot and ready to groove. So we drove to the club, and what a ball we had. Fide could put a whale to shame. That girl drinks!

Without my prompting, she said she would follow me home. I was so excited I practically jumped out of my shoes. Meanwhile, everybody was already high. So we got home and activity started. I’ll admit the boobies were a bit of a letdown. I’ve never seen such near‑nippleless (is that a word?) boobies in my life. What the hell?

I’ll give it to her though  she had enthusiasm, and it made up for a fair bit. That was until she decided to get on top. In the heat of the moment, I got carried away as she rode, and that’s when the most traumatic experience of my life happened. She threw up.

My mouth and nose, my eyes , everything took the brunt of it. Have you ever aspirated your own vomit before? Imagine doing that from someone else’s. Not just breathing it in a good portion got into my mouth. What else can be more traumatic than this? She promptly slept off. I was stuck cleaning up vomit from the bed, brushing and re‑brushing my mouth, and had pieces of her vomit in my nose till the next day. I found death. It refused to come. 

DOGgedity suffered.

That incident permanently scared me off clubs. I stayed away from anything involving ladies living life on the wild side. What a lesson it was to learn.

So there you have it. I hope I’ve sufficiently ruined your Sunday. I wouldn’t be DOGgedity if I didn’t. Till I come your way next Sunday, permit me while I go throw up.