STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MALICE FROM MOTHER IN LAW
I recently discovered that my mother‑in‑law has been keeping malice with me, and I didn’t even know until my husband and I went to visit her. When we arrived, I greeted her warmly, but she didn’t respond. I ignored it at first, thinking maybe she hadn’t heard me.
On our way back home, I asked my husband what was wrong and why his mother didn’t answer my greeting. He told me she said she was upset because since we moved into our new place, I hadn’t called her. I was shocked , all this over a phone call?
I’m not the kind of person who calls often, but whenever I visit, I always help her out around the house. So hearing that she was offended by my lack of calls really surprised me. What hurt more was that my husband seemed to be taking his mother’s side, and it felt like he was choosing his family over me.
Now I’m torn. Should I ask his mother about it directly, apologize for not calling, or just ignore the situation completely? I don’t want unnecessary drama, but I also don’t want tension hanging over us.
Sometimes, peace in marriage means knowing when to speak and when to stay silent and right now, I think you should just call her and apologise, it doesn't make you stupid but it removes your husband from having to choose between you and his mum because he WIL CHOOSE HER..
Just douse the tension and spread love....Do it!!!
Who do u expect him to choose before?
ReplyDeleteCall her and apologize,no need for unnecessary drama..
I was going to ask the poster this question. Umu ogbara ohu! Una go learn the hard way in this life.
DeleteLadies never you, I repeat, never you ask a man to choose between you and His mum, his sisters and his children unless you are tired of such relationship.
On the contrary, we still have men who stand for their wives. The men who know how manipulative their family members can be. My husband stood by me when his mom and sistera started such behaviour. She even did worse than we just read. Last last, na dem tire. I don't call her on my phone, I speak with her only when her son calls and I'm available to talk. I have three sisters-in-law and I see how my mom dotes on them. I understand that everybody can't have similar traits. I beg you women, let's not dish out to our daughters in law what we can't to our own daughters.
DeleteI think you should call her and apologize.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you can fix her in your plans to call her once a week or in 2 weeks. You can plan it this way, whenever you call you Mum, you can call her too to just check on her.
Things like this create some form of peace for you, you man and everyone.
A woman I know died a couple of months back and I was reflecting on her life. Her husband abandoned her and the children and she single handely raised 4 children. She had just a boy the first one but never accepted his wife. They were abroad so the distance helped, the DIL tried all she could and stopped trying. She missed opportunities after opportunities to visit her son abroad and bond with her grandchildren. Apart from the initial meeting, she never saw her DIL, didn't even attend the wedding in Nigeria and never saw her grandchildren. The son took care of his mother but I just felt everything could have been better had she accepted the wife because a prophet said the wife would be barren. Someone they said would be barren first had twin boys and a girl and you still kept malice with her. She would call, you won't pick, you won't reply her messages, when you are speaking to your son and she comes to say hi, you'd suddenly say the network is bad and disconnect the call. I was just wondering if she regretted her actions as she was dying and understood I was too late. Life no hard, na people make am hard.
ReplyDeleteCarrying a lot of baggages to the grave.
DeleteEverybody needs a counsellor or critic. This woman could not get any and carried bitterness to the grave.
What is the big deal in calling her, even if it is for a minute, it won't cost you anything. This one no be problem o, this is not a problem at all, cuz some women have it worse
ReplyDeleteYou can call her weekly or every fortnight.
Call her, end the drama..
ReplyDeleteSo your husband knew, and kept quiet. Meaning if you had not asked, you wouldn't know. Left to me, I won't even ask her. I will call when I can. Greet her when I see her, if she wants to continue to carry face, then that's her cup of tea.
ReplyDeletePoster if you like, follow wetin this 1 talk, your marriage go just crash.
DeleteJust call the old woman and apologize, it will not tear your pants
Do not take this advice please
DeleteLife no suppose hard my dear, humans just love to complicate things,
If your mil wants you to always reach out, at least do it for your husband you hear
Kindly, ignore this advice, when it's gets to her turn, she won't do what she just typed. Your problem is not a bug problem, let peace and love lead. Be intentional in calling her , maybe once a week or there about. May your home keep knowing peace and I pray for wisdom for you, to navigate situations appropriately
DeleteKindly, ignore this advice, when it's gets to her turn, she won't do what she just typed. Your problem is not a bug problem, let peace and love lead. Be intentional in calling her , maybe once a week or there about. May your home keep knowing peace and I pray for wisdom for you, to navigate situations appropriately
DeleteDo it!!! Peace and quietness are not synonyms.
ReplyDeletePoster sorry about the issues. Please call her it won't take anything from you. Spread love
ReplyDeleteI am surprised that the husband knew all along that the mum has such thoughts against his wife and still kept quiet. He ought to have told the wife immediately he heard it. Except, he was just hearing of it on the day of their visit.
ReplyDeleteStill, call her. She is a senior family member.
Apologize to her.just for peace to reign.
ReplyDeletePlease dear poster,call her ,explain and apologise ok she is just your mum nothing much
ReplyDeleteEnd the drama peacefully🫂
Please try and settle things with ur mother in law,don't stress urself over nothing
ReplyDeletePlease try and settle things with ur mother in law,don't stress urself over nothing
ReplyDeleteMy sister, sometimes peace no mean say you wrong. If na ordinary phone call cause the wahala, just clear am and move on. But make your husband know say next time, e no good make him hide this kind matter from you. Una be one team now. If him mama get issue with you, e suppose gist you before una waka go there, not after you don already face embarrassment. Na so couples dey protect each other.
ReplyDeleteLet me ask you a question dear poster. Since you moved into your house, have you called your own mum? If you have, then you haven't done well. Even if you call her once a month to wish her happy new month, that's ok
ReplyDeleteDon’t call her to talk about it
ReplyDeleteJust call her and visit per normal
As she didn’t tell you about it, leave it alone. Just do your best
Poster pls call her. I don’t know the cultural differences but if she is from this culture that calls themselves respectful-then she would low key be expecting you to. Please put a reminder on your phone to call at least every other week. Let her play with her grandchildren when you call too.
ReplyDelete