MARITAL ISH
I need advice on religious beliefs in marriage.
My husband is a Jehovah’s Witness but I am not. He was not a serious believer when we met.
My husband is a Jehovah’s Witness but I am not. He was not a serious believer when we met.
It was a big issue before we married as my family opposed the marriage but he constantly assured me that it won’t be a problem for us. One year down the line, he turned everything upside down and insisted everything must be done JW way which I stood my ground that I won’t do that because we clearly agreed that religion won’t be a problem.
We have kids now and he has said that they will be trained JW way but I said no. We have to find a common ground that will make everyone happy. I told him that they should celebrate birthdays and Mother’s Day only but he refused. He said I should stop singing religious songs in his house because of the kids or pray with them because they (JWs) pray differently.
We have kids now and he has said that they will be trained JW way but I said no. We have to find a common ground that will make everyone happy. I told him that they should celebrate birthdays and Mother’s Day only but he refused. He said I should stop singing religious songs in his house because of the kids or pray with them because they (JWs) pray differently.
I don’t really know what to do. I don’t want my kids trained and trapped in such religious environment.
So ths is how Jehova witness people have started tricking other religions to marrying them? This is so wrong oh......
You and your husband need to agree on a shared middle ground, and if he refuses to honour the original agreement you both made before marriage, you need to firmly set boundaries and insist on a neutral mediator to help enforce fairness, because no parent has the right to unilaterally control the children’s religious upbringing or silence the other parent’s beliefs.
Please also note that your marriage might break up in the process of trying to set trligious boundaries....
He’s a deceitful man… he knows what he’s doing…make trouble and stand ur ground…
ReplyDeleteMake trouble with who? A JW man? It's like you don't know them.😂😂 I laugh in Spanish.
DeletePoster the Lord is your strength. All the answers you need for your situation is in the bible, please go and read it. The bible warn against being unequally yoked. It also spoke about how to handle a husband that is an unbeliver if you are already married. Please go and read.
It's just so annoying when some people don't stick to what was said during courtship in marriage.
ReplyDeletePoster, I really don't know what to tell you cos this is why people should marry who shares the same belief and values as them. I wish you well.
The man is the head of the house (well unless you are trying to say he isnt). I am sure when he was assuring you it wont be a problem, I know you didnt entirely believe him but why you still chose to go on with him is best known to you. If the reason was because you loved him, then let that same love guide you into allowing peace reign. Those people are religiously stubborn. You don enter am be say you don enter am.
DeleteE con be like JW marriage is now the same with Christian and Muslim marriage o.
ReplyDeletewhat church do you and your children attend? If you attend JW with him then you just have to blend o if you want your marriage with him to work but if you attend a different church, you will have to involve people he listens to who can mediate
Sweetie,
ReplyDeleteThis is a serious one, and I’ll say it plainly. It sounds like deceit from your husband. From what I know, if it's the Catholic Church, it can declare a marriage null if there was deceit that affected consent at the time of the wedding. I’m not sure what Nigerian law says about it, but there may be a provision for that.
About the JW side, I know them well. Congregants can be very stubborn. He won’t give up today, tomorrow, or anytime soon. At the end of the day, the choice is yours. A man’s word should be his bond. If a man can’t honor his own bond, what kind of husband is he? No honesty, no integrity, no discipline. That kind of foundation won’t stand the test of time. If he truly wanted a JW partner, why marry you in the first place when he could have picked someone from the Kingdom Hall?
Sweetie, please start making a plan B, just in case. Your marriage is already on shaky ground. There’s no gainsaying the importance of partners aligning in the same spirituality and religious beliefs. Resentment will creep in soon, just like it already has with him condemning your prayer style and worship songs. It’s just a matter of time before he starts exercising full authority banning you and the kids from attending your own church activities.
I’ll repeat it again, start saving for uncertainty. You will need it when things eventually fall apart and the center can no longer hold.
©️ TEEJAY
My dear I am JW married to my husband who is not a JW. I can't and will not allow religion dictate to me because Almighty God gave me a brain and I am supposed to use it. I married a man who is not JW because he is a human being first of all and he loves me. I can't discriminate because of religion. I live right and use my brain and will not be brain washed as a christian. There are somethings they do that I don't follow. That your marriage is dead on arrival you shouldn't have married him. I don't force my husband to go to meetings with me. My child goes with me sometimes or stays with her father if she chooses. I will not force anyone to accept JW teachings it is a matter of choice.
ReplyDeleteStand your ground!
ReplyDeleteHe turned around one year after marriage and you went ahead to birth kids for him?
ReplyDeleteYou know what to do when you are ready
Ike guru!!!!
DeleteThis is so wrong from the Man, and you nrrd to thread with caution as not to jeopardize the peace in your home.
ReplyDeleteI would advice you call a mediator,and invite those he respects to talk Senses into him.
DOZZYBEST.
Pele
ReplyDeleteJw men are wicked tricksters, that's there format o, believe me he won't relent o
They hardly marry their sisters in church, but will troops out to marry from other churches and add to their misleading wicked flock
Why don't they marry their sisters? 🤔
DeleteHonestly, that is the best bet for them.
Instead of this treachery.
Na athiest wey love God I dey find. Because so called church going men are worse than demons.
Pele
ReplyDeleteJw men are wicked tricksters, that's there format o, believe me he won't relent o
They hardly marry their sisters in church, but will troops out to marry from other churches and add to their misleading wicked flock
Stand your ground oh. Fight till the end. If you don’t he will tell you to join the church or leave. As it is now you need to start planning your exit. Because it will come except you convert to JW
ReplyDeleteAll the best and fight more with wisdom than with hurtful words
Wishing you all the best
Zendaya
Stand your ground oh. Fight till the end. If you don’t he will tell you to join the church or leave. As it is now you need to start planning your exit. Because it will come except you convert to JW
ReplyDeleteAll the best and fight more with wisdom than with hurtful words
Wishing you all the best
Zendaya
If he agreed before marriage that religion wouldn't be an issue, it's unfair for him to change the rules later. This isn't just about being a Jehovah's Witness, it's about respect and keeping your word.
ReplyDeleteYour children are yours together, so neither parent should have the final say on their religious upbringing. They should be free to learn from both parents and decide for themselves when they're older. Have a serious conversation with your husband and make it clear that compromise is necessary. If he refuses to respect your beliefs or insists everything must be done his way, it's time to involve a neutral marriage counsellor. A healthy marriage can't be built on one person's beliefs overriding the other's.
What's it with religion ish? My late parents were Muslim infact Omo ahlaji but I stood my ground even as a teen, he would punish me for going to church due to my love for musical instruments. But at a stage he got tired of it all and na so Dem free me.before I know sup my mum and sister joined.mind you from time ahlaji dey celebrate all including easter.. I would say I'm spiritual and not religious..I trust and believe in God and Jesus is my all ✌️
ReplyDeleteThis is serious.lf you cannot do what he wants better start thinking of divorce..
ReplyDeleteI don’t believe shyt anybody says during courtship, because most humans never show their true faces and those who are brutally honest are viewed as hard to deal with because honesty is uncomfortable for many, even though they all claim they value it.
ReplyDeleteYou had no business becoming unequally yoked. You had the responsibility to choose a spouse from your own flock who has similar beliefs as yours and you opted not to, so you must bear the consequences. Why you now coming to blame your husband, when you are 100% at fault for the situation that you’re in. Doing things out of desperation always lead to destruction. Since this is religious business you need guidance from the Holy Spirit, how can any of us give you the appropriate advice. Let God and His holy ones guide you appropriately. Good luck!
It you are ready to fight, then take these actions :
ReplyDeleteMany have advised you not to relent in your own way of worship. Stick to it and practice it boldly at home with your children. This advice is based on what you said earlier that there was verbal agreement that religion won't be a problem in the marriage.
As, you stick to your way of worship with pride and boldness, do the other things many have suggested by involving the people he respects including those outside his JEHOVA WITNESS church
ReplyDeleteOf after involving the people he respects and their is no positive result, you may involve the agents of the state. Ministry of women affairs, and police if he employs domestic violence
ReplyDeleteSuch people are weak. That's why they were not serious with their church in the first place.
ReplyDeleteThat's why he is being pulled by the voices of the Jehova witnesses crowd, without considering his agreement with you.
If you are not strong and self willed about what you want, he will keep on forcing his beliefs on you until you won't have any beliefs of your own.
That is why I am emphasising being yourself at home with all boldness and pride.
ReplyDeleteAfter testing your strength, he will definitely let you be.
The worst case scenario is that he files for divorce. What about that? Are you ready to live on your own? Do you have means of livelihood?
ReplyDeleteStella, thanks for posting and thanks everyone for your advice. I will stand my ground as I have already started praying with my kids and won’t stop again. Once they resume school, I will tell their school about the changes.
ReplyDeleteSee people of the same religion are having misunderstandings because of different doctrines in the church. I wonder how christians who marry Muslims will be. Aunty, this was bound to happen
ReplyDeleteJW are too extreme and rigid. God mercy on them; you know if any of your kids needs blood to stay alive they won't be getting the blood help right, even if it's you as a parent that will donate.
ReplyDelete2 Corinthians 6:14. The verse says: "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. The term unbeliever JW follow.
Can two walk together, except they be agreed? The journey ahead is still far, to be this divided.
I don't know what you were thinking marrying him in the first place.. stand your ground
ReplyDeleteSee hatred for Jehovah’s witnesses. I don’t even blame anyone but your husband that left all witness sisters to marry you. Whatever you decide to do, he should bear the consequences of disobedience.
ReplyDeleteThe bible said we should not be unevenly yoked with unbelievers that is the major reasons we Jehovah’s Witness are encouraged to marry ourselves. But your husband decided not follow the bible instruction.
The greatest form of LDR ever is when two christains with different world views marry. This is the inequal yoking the bible talks about. So sorry you found yourself in this mess.
ReplyDelete