Hmmmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
INSECURE BOYRIEND
Hi Stella,
Please hide my ID
Do you think it is ok for my boyfriend to check my phone every week? I mean every other week!
We spend the weekends together and every weekend he checks.
We have each other’s passwords but I don’t even go to his phone to check for anything. He reads all my messages!
Messages with friends, family and even acquaintances.
Now to the main issue… he wants me to stop being in contact with my ex.
Please note that I have nothing with this ex and he doesn’t even bother calling except it is to pass an important information. It’s been almost three years we parted ways.
My ex has been trying to help me with stuff he obviously didn’t do when we were together. He is in a relationship now and he knows I am in one too. He has clearly told me that he wants to help in anyway he can. For example; help me get a better job or help facilitate my travel plans. He isn’t even forcing me to accept his offer.. he just says he wants to do it because he knows he owes me and he promised my mum too before she passed.
I love my boyfriend but I think he is overreacting. He keeps telling me to block him everywhere! I told him we have nothing together and I’m never going back there but blocking him is too much. I have moved on but does that mean I have to block him everywhere?!
Now he has broken up with me.. he says he can manage friendship with other exes but not this particular one.
Am I doing something wrong?
Stella, I need your input please.
On top free knacks and wife services every weekend?
Your boyfriend checking your phone every weekend is not love, it is control.
Reading all your private chats, policing your conversations, and demanding you block someone who has done nothing wrong shows insecurity!!!!
So you hand him your phone to check?Hissssss!
And you were doing miss goody two shoes by not checking his? You should be scanning his phone as hes scanning yours!!!
He broke up with you because you refused to be controlled, and if you were married to him, this is the stage that physical abuse is introduced.
Please if you love yourself, do not go back to him…You cannot love this man oh, maybe you are pitying yourself by dating him…Please do better
Whatever you do, do not block your ex. If you must, do it because you want to, not because one controlling insecure tata says you should. Now he has broken up with you, what a child! I hope you are not begging him.
ReplyDeletePoster read what Stella wrote like 3 times.
DeleteMy sis just thank God and move on with your life, his kind of people are very manipulative and controlling at the same time ..
ReplyDeleteIt is HILARIOUS,how everyone in this blog has so much to say about others,has opinions about others but when it comes to their own lives, they seek advice.
ReplyDeleteCos tell me how you will allow a boyfriend lasan treat you like this and you do not know that you just dodge a bullet,although if he has not left you,you would still be in your controlled situationship.
You will be shocked to find out what he is doing behind your back. In most cases of these controlling people ' every accusation is a confession'. Insecure for where? Oh please!
ReplyDelete💯. Guys like that do worse things.
DeletePoster, just move on cos you will not live long if you remain in that relationship. This guy could even get violent with you.
If your ex was so good and kind, why is he still an ex? He had every chance to make your life better and do all these things when you guys were together. Why is it now that he suddenly became angel Gabriel? There's no smoke without fire. Thank God your relationship has ended. Go and be with your ex.
ReplyDeleteGbam! You have said it all!
DeleteEnglish comprehension should be a non negotiable subject in school and at work. She broke up with him but stayed in her life to fulfil all the promises he made to her and the mother.This has nothing to do with him being perfect. They are done in terms of relationship, they just communicate as FRIENDS and especially because of the promises he made to a dead woman. Some people keep to their promises and can't live with disappointing the dead. If you want to be enemies with your exes, that is your business, some of us are too civilised to understand that love might not work but friendship can.
DeleteMy ex was good and kind to me. We didn't get married because he was 15 years older and I met him when I was much younger. We ended the relationship and he married someone else. We are still in touch, we wish each other happy birthday and we gist maybe once a year. I'm married too with kids now. No strings attached.
DeleteShe can't severe the relationship with an ex just because it didn't lead to marriage. Not every relationship ends in marriage please.
I hate that controlling of a thing. If your ex is trying to really help you with something that will better your life, I suggest you let him be unless that your boyfriend will help you complete what he's already started. That's being insecure
ReplyDeleteHow would you have felt if he was the one talking to his ex? Your actions gave him a reason to suspect you, hence his checking your every move. So I would not blame him for that. Why still communicate with an ex, for Christ's sake? Even if you want to do that, why keep your current guy in the know? Some of you women are so 'amazing'.
ReplyDeleteI think he really dodged a bullet by breaking up with you. It was only a matter of time before your ex would want one more round of sex from you after helping you, or it would become the condition for the assistance he is rendering. You are looking at his fault but exonerating your behaviour with your ex. If your ex is that good, why did he not find you worthy to do life with, but wants to be good now?
You women will not cease to amaze me, just like the video I watched earlier today. I watched a video of a woman advising her son not to give girls money unless the girl is also spending on him, which I feel is the normal thing to do, just as some men have often said to those who cared to listen. But that is not my point of writing anyway.
My reason for commenting on the said video is simple. When that woman was single, I believe she would have been among the many women who would have faulted the very stand she is pushing on her son today. It is just like women seeing all the beauty in a single man marrying a divorcee or a single mom, until it hits home and they resist their own sons or brothers from that same 'beauty' they supported at one point. Don't get me wrong, I hold nothing against single mom or divorcee and just like I've stated here in the past, I can settle with one if I find genuine love therein.
Everyone actually knows what they are doing. One thing to understand here is that some people's support and loyalty are tied to their gain and from their place of comfort. I once heard of a mother kicking against her son marrying the lady he introduced to the family. Her reason was that she was unemployed, had no value, and was from a poor family.
So when you see some arguments from this set of women online supporting what is not obtainable, just don't take them seriously until they prove their argument otherwise when it hits home.
©️ TEEJAY
So you can block an ex who can better your life because your girlfriend is insured..
DeleteThis is someone that can help her get a better job or even help her travel out of the country, the current boyfriend is even aware, she's not hiding anything from him.. remember he's not even married to her yet..
She should just thank God he broke up with her.. because if she ever ends up with him,she will cry ðŸ˜
Checking her phone like she's a thief 😂..
Her actions didnt do jack. He is an insecure boy. Why would he be checking her phone everytime, and then tell her to stop communicating with her ex. FOR WHAT. But as usaul your thinking is myopic, always looking for ways to insult women.
DeleteLet's flip the coin and see your reaction. This is all I am asking for. If this chronicle were the reverse, I know what the comment section would have looked like from the women. You women always want to be given the benefit of the doubt, but you don't extend that to men.
DeleteOrdinarily, I wouldn't have commented on this issue, for I knew the point I am trying to pass would be lost. So without the ex, she won't make it in life or amount to anything? Most times, you guys push this narrative of seeing nothing wrong in still communicating with an ex when it's about a woman, but when a man does the same, it all becomes wrong.
We all know what we are doing. Have you stopped to ask, why didn't he better her life all the while they were together, but now they are separated and she is with another man? Secondly, why did he not find her worthy to marry? If there is to be any help, the ex should do that through her man. That is what real men do.
I believe all the women supporting this would not take it if the reverse were the case. But like I said earlier, until it hits close to home, everyone will justify their actions, support, and loyalty from a position of comfort or gain.
©️ TEEJAY
I like everything you said but you did not address the checking of phone.
DeleteDo you think what he is doing is right?
I want to ask you a genuine question.
ReplyDeleteIf your boyfriend is still in contact with his ex girlfriend due to one promise or the other will you be 100% happy and secured.....
What your boyfriend needed was reassurance that you will still be loyal and honest in the relationship.
God bless you. You mirror my stand and point exactly. Let's reverse the scenario is all I'm asking for.
Delete©️ TEEJAY
Stella you misunderstood the poster
ReplyDeleteIt's her current boyfriend that goes through her phone, and also her current boyfriend telling her to block her ex boyfriend
No i did not misunderstand.......HER PRESENT IS NOW HER EX AS WELL COS HE BROKE UP WITH HER...
DeletePoster don't mind this your boyfriend, as long as you are sure you have nothing romantic to do with the ex Don't block him. Let the ex facilitate your traveling. Men that have nothing to offer like to control .I'm very sure he's jobless. Listen to him at your own detriment
ReplyDeleteLmao @jobless.
DeleteWoreva mehn.
ReplyDeleteAs relationship don dabaru,take full advantage of whatever help the ex gives you. Dont tell him you are single . Use him to the max to better your life.
But next time, if you are dating anyone,dont accept anything from anyone else.
Also everybody should have everybody's password shikena
That's how narcissists start their operation. Please let him go, another man will find you. How can you ask me to block someone that wants to help me get a better life? In this hard economy, someone who I no longer have no sexual intimacy with us trying to help my life and you are here trying to be a stumbling block. Not that we are even married, just boyfriend that may even walk away tomorrow because of a little mistake.
ReplyDeleteThat man is one strange bird. Checking your phone like that is the old school way of men who used to check women's handbag. He has issues, whatever his problems are they are much bigger than you. This is not your first relationship, so you should have realized that he was bonkers. He may be functioning but something is seriously off with him. He is the kid who used to search through his mother's or sister's panty drawers to open and smell them. He is the kid who used to steal from his parents in silence and cause friction in the household with nobody suspected him. He is the type who would tell a friend not to invest in a venture because he knows they would get ahead and leave him behind. He is batshyt crazy and you should thank your lucky stars he dropped you. Setting you free is what will save your life. You do not need to know what more is in his sick bag of tricks, trust me, that there man has a whole menagerie of shows he is waiting to put on, and none of them are good.
ReplyDelete