STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SERIAL LOVER HUSBAND
I always skip reading the "Living with HIV" column cos hubby cheated sometime back. He apologized and promised it won't happen again. We moved on. Or so I thought but I couldn't. I tried ignoring it but lately my spirit became restless and I made a decision to stop sleeping with him.
This decision was not easy cos we are trying to conceive.
I finally mustered the courage to go for tests for STIs and STDs. Thank God, the test results for HIV and Hepatitis came out negative. I'm choosing to protect myself. No more fear.
If we had children, I would have simply stopped sleeping with him. I'm choosing to protect myself now. I intend to get a vaccine for Hepatitis B and also PEP for HIV. I will resume sleeping with him after taking the necessary precautions
Then stop when I take in.
Whatever he does after that won't bother me cos no more intimacy again in the marriage after I take in.
Hmmmm i dont understand..After you caught him, did he continue or did he stop?What if after you take in, you take in with the hiv u are running away from? why dont you convince him for the two of you to go for tests.
Sorry about what you are going through.
No words 😶
ReplyDeleteThis poster you are not serious! So you mean you will go ahead and have a child for a cheater??? Are you for real??? Make it make sense abeg. Stop sleeping with him and re-evaluate if you will stay or leave the marriage. I don't understand some women mindset ooo.
ReplyDeleteShe really needs to build up the confidence and leave the marriage. Everything she's written above is just twisted nonsense. I don't understand why she'll want to stay in a tortous union when cheating is that much of a deal breaker.
DeleteI found it odd that he was cheating at the same time that you were trying to conceive. Bringing a soul into the world is a major event, but his mind was on carnal things. Could the difficulty to conceive together be an act of God? Could his confession of cheating be an opportunity for you to reevaluate the value of this marriage.
ReplyDeleteGreat that you’re prioritizing protecting yourself but you do not trust him and your words are filled with underlying anger and contempt. Have you tried marriage counselling? Have you taken this matter to God? Forget conceiving for now. Work on the sanctity of the marriage before bringing a child into that. Find out if his heart is still in it, ask yourself if you are still in it. A child deserves a loving and safe household. All the best
Well, your body already knows what your mind denies so if you think he is still cheating then he likely is. That's your intuition and it has been sounding the alarm bells for a long time. You don't even feel safe with him because you know you can't trust him and trust is the oxygen of a marriage and once it's gone, you are just suffocating in the same house.
ReplyDeleteNo matter how agonizing refusing to be close to him while desiring to have a child you call your own might have been, applaud yourself because you did well by choosing self-preservation over bringing an innocent baby into a home where a husband who meant to protect you is actively putting your health at risk with reckless infidelity.
But now you are planning on having kids with him after putting some measures in place but I still find all that scary because it's just like playing russian roulette with your wellbeing.
You also said if you had children, you would have stopped sleeping with him. It may sound like a smart thing to say but all you are just doing is trying to rationalize staying in a dangerous marriage by drawing a line at children. let's be honest, If you have to medically vaccinate yourself, demand STI tests, and live in terror of your husband's infidelity just to share a bed with him, the marriage is already dead. You are not a wife anymore, you are just a roommate practicing high stakes biohazard safety protocols against the man who vowed to cherish you. Besides, even if you decide to starve yourself of physical intimacy and be celibate till old age, shouldn't it be your decision and not something inflicted by someone's else's unfaithfulness ?
Anyways, I won't tell you to leave but hope you know you cannot build a family, a future, or peace of mind with a man who sees your health and your life as a disposable risk and you relentlessly have to keep managing your exposure levels like you are working in a virology lab.
He didn't even need to get married he could have just stayed single and keep living immorally all his life. What's all these?
Why not walk away than to bear the brunt at this earlier stage?
ReplyDeleteDOZZYBEST.
He might have it even if you don’t have it yet so you should both get tested for everything
ReplyDeleteYou know your man better but some men do stop cheating
Stella, if I understand correctly, she said she will take PEP that will protect her from being infected. Trust most men naa, he will not want to go for tests.
ReplyDeleteStella, if I understand correctly, she said she will take PEP that will protect her from being infected. Trust most men naa, he will not want to go for tests.
ReplyDeleteConvince him ? I can bet my last kono that the husband refused to go for tests. Most probably that's why she did hers as alone.
ReplyDeleteConvince him ? I can bet my last kono that the husband refused to go for tests. Most probably that's why she did hers as alone.
ReplyDelete