Is Our Relationship With God Becoming Too Transactional? My Honest Thoughts
Today’s gist is not our regular gist. I have been pondering on something deeply and decided to put my thoughts on paper. It may not sit well with everybody, but abeg, hear me out first.
There is nothing wrong with praying for financial breakthroughs, children, good health or a better life. God cares about our needs. But is that all our faith is about?
Solomon was wealthy before Jesus came. Hannah prayed for a child and gave birth to Samuel long before Jesus was born. The Israelites faced hardship and oppression too. These things existed before Christ. So why do some sermons make it seem as though His death and resurrection were mainly about securing material blessings?
I sometimes wonder what we would preach to a wealthy Christian like Femi Otedola. If someone already has money, good health and a loving family, does the gospel have nothing else to offer them?
Surely, our relationship with God must be deeper than what we hope to get from Him.
I once joked with my sister that if I lived abroad, I might not attend church as frequently as I do here. Before you judge me, hear me out. Many things Nigerians pray fervently for are things functioning systems, good governance and basic infrastructure could make less stressful.
Imagine not worrying constantly about electricity, security or access to healthcare.
Would we still pray? Of course. Prayer is also gratitude, worship and fellowship. But our environment definitely shapes the things we pray for and the messages we hear.
When sermons focus almost entirely on financial breakthroughs, I sometimes tune out. I have heard the message so often that I can predict the next sentence.
When did our relationship with God become so transactional?
I understand that churches need funds to operate. My concern is not with giving, but with making people feel their blessings depend on how much they give. Giving should come from the heart, not fear or pressure.
Then there is the shouting during prayer. People pray differently, and I respect that. But I struggle with the idea that the louder you shout, the more likely God is to hear you. Even as a child, I learnt, “Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name…”
Pray as you wish, but please do not tell me God cannot hear me unless I shout. And must the entire neighbourhood hear my prayers through loudspeakers?
Maybe my questions come from the fact that I have always questioned things in church.
As a child, I raised concerns about things taught in catechism and happenings in the choir. Instead of engaging with my questions, I was labelled stubborn and disrespectful. I was made to write an apology letter and read it before the congregation on Children Harvest Day.
Months later, the head of the Parish Pastoral Council apologised on their behalf. He admitted that I had raised concerns they themselves were afraid to raise. The priest involved had also been reported to the Archdiocese.
That experience taught me that religious leaders are human. They can make mistakes, and their positions do not automatically make every decision right.
To be clear, I know there are pastors and priests who serve faithfully and do wonderful work. This is not an attack on every religious leader. My concern is with practices that exploit people’s desperation and a culture where questioning a spiritual leader is treated as rebellion.
Respect does not mean silence. Faith does not require abandoning critical thinking. We can honour our spiritual leaders without treating them as infallible.
We can pray for financial blessings without making money the measure of God’s love. We can give without being manipulated. We can have faith and still ask questions.
My faith is not a business transaction. My God is not a vending machine. And no pastor or priest will ever take the place of God in my life.
That is where I stand. And I make no apologies for it.
Its RON
Would we still pray? Of course. Prayer is also gratitude, worship and fellowship. But our environment definitely shapes the things we pray for and the messages we hear.
When sermons focus almost entirely on financial breakthroughs, I sometimes tune out. I have heard the message so often that I can predict the next sentence.
When did our relationship with God become so transactional?
I understand that churches need funds to operate. My concern is not with giving, but with making people feel their blessings depend on how much they give. Giving should come from the heart, not fear or pressure.
Then there is the shouting during prayer. People pray differently, and I respect that. But I struggle with the idea that the louder you shout, the more likely God is to hear you. Even as a child, I learnt, “Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name…”
Pray as you wish, but please do not tell me God cannot hear me unless I shout. And must the entire neighbourhood hear my prayers through loudspeakers?
Maybe my questions come from the fact that I have always questioned things in church.
As a child, I raised concerns about things taught in catechism and happenings in the choir. Instead of engaging with my questions, I was labelled stubborn and disrespectful. I was made to write an apology letter and read it before the congregation on Children Harvest Day.
Months later, the head of the Parish Pastoral Council apologised on their behalf. He admitted that I had raised concerns they themselves were afraid to raise. The priest involved had also been reported to the Archdiocese.
That experience taught me that religious leaders are human. They can make mistakes, and their positions do not automatically make every decision right.
To be clear, I know there are pastors and priests who serve faithfully and do wonderful work. This is not an attack on every religious leader. My concern is with practices that exploit people’s desperation and a culture where questioning a spiritual leader is treated as rebellion.
Respect does not mean silence. Faith does not require abandoning critical thinking. We can honour our spiritual leaders without treating them as infallible.
We can pray for financial blessings without making money the measure of God’s love. We can give without being manipulated. We can have faith and still ask questions.
My faith is not a business transaction. My God is not a vending machine. And no pastor or priest will ever take the place of God in my life.
That is where I stand. And I make no apologies for it.
Its RON
xoxoxo
Thank you Ron for doing justice to this topic.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you too for taking the time to read it. 😊🙏
DeleteThis is a very detailed expose. I enjoyed it but I'll pick just a few points.
ReplyDeleteIt's true that changes in prayer life, relationship with God and all when in a ddifferent country have always been a topic of concern, but for me, there was no difference between my prayer life at home and abroad. I believe I even had ample time to pray because my mind was more at ease. I feel some people who go abroad and stop praying never really had a close relationship with God to begin with, but rather a parasitic one. Which is not even shocking because some don't even want God, they just want what God can give them and when their environment stops threatening their survival, their motivation to seek God vanishes. The spiritual lukewarmness you spoke about is just them seeing their true reflections because travelling in a way, serve as a spiritual audit that gauge whether your relationship with God was based on survival or self-centredness.
I also can't stand those who have unbridled loyalty to the title a pastor carries, while ignoring that, inspite of that title is a woman or man who is fallible. Hanging on to every word you hear from the pulpit without showing discernment and outsourcing your critical thinking to a pastor are also forms of spiritual laziness but what do you dowhen some people do not even open their bible till the next Sunday service?
It also doesn't help that when someone is bold enough to demand clarity, they are seen as being contentious, which is not biblical. After all, the Bereans were praised because they did not blindly accept Paul's teachings. They went home, opened their Scriptures, and cross-checked everything the Apostle Paul preached to them to see if it matched the Word of God.
This is why some churchgoers are called derogatory names like “sheeples”, because sometimes it seems they revere their pastors more than the God who is in charge Himself.
You couldn't have said it better, Casey. I appreciate your contribution. 🙏
DeleteTo clarify what I meant by my example, I was speaking within the context of how Christianity is often practised here in Nigeria, where the church is seen primarily as a solution ground. We go to God with our needs, and rightly so. But if our relationship with Him revolves mainly around getting those needs met, what happens when the solutions come? What happens when the things we pray so fervently for are no longer pressing?
That is why I believe the gospel needs to be communicated more holistically. Our faith should be about more than what God can do for us; it should also be about knowing Him, worshipping Him, and growing in our relationship with Him.
Agreed!!!
ReplyDelete🙏🙏
DeleteWeldone dear Ron., Of course some of these men of God can make mistakes.. i will talk about d catholic Priest n Nuns which i know better.
ReplyDeleteI dont confronto dem openly.i just stay away from what i dont believe in, like d Penticostal shouting loud., becos i know what i believe in..Thank God there are people like you.
Congratulations N Compliments. Yeap.
Awwwhhh Doris Day, thank you for your contributions. These days, I avoid confrontations as well and stay away from things I have no control over. The younger me was too eager to be heard and was sometimes 'forceful' about it 😁. But I absolutely do not regret any stance I took back then especially as it concerns this topic.
DeleteWell said Ron. Most topics in churches is just prosperity.
ReplyDelete...and the painful part is that they’re not even trying to be creative about it anymore. They’re now making prosperity the centrepiece of their sermons, openly and unapologetically.
DeleteAwwww, my sister in faith 🤗
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear the religious bullying (abi how I want call am) was addressed 👍
It's a good thing to be assertive & know truly know the God you serve.
Yes my sister. The bottom line is to KNOW GOD FOR THINESELF.
DeleteNicely written and apt👍
ReplyDeleteI usually enjoy reading your column❤️
Thank you Yem.girl. 🙏😊
DeleteSome churches preach mostly on giving to the pastor. Knowing God for one self is the best.
ReplyDeleteWell said, Sis.
DeleteDear Ron, you just echoed my thoughts. The getting alerts messages without putting in the work is just too much. Little wonder the end justify the means. Just be rich anyhow and it will be called "grace".
ReplyDeleteThat word, GRACE, has 'suffered' in the hands of Nigerians, aswear! 😁
Delete💯👍
ReplyDelete🙏😊
DeleteIf i type what's on my mind, stella will not post. well done Ron. 👍 we are Gods ourselves.
ReplyDeleteThank you 🙏😊
DeleteThanks Ron for bringing this here. Read similar stuff earlier this week.
ReplyDeleteJust know God for yourself and don't allow anyone guilt trick you all in the name of seed sowing.
Thank you Sis 🙏😊
DeleteHi Ron,🌷
ReplyDeleteThis is a conversation the Church needs to have, and I appreciate the honesty with which you have approached it. 👏🏽
I think one of the greatest dangers in our walk with God is when we become more interested in what His hands can give us than in who He is. We can become so preoccupied with the blessings of His presence that we lose sight of the value of His presence itself.
Interestingly, Job asked a question that challenges the very foundation of transactional faith. Satan suggested that Job feared God only because God had blessed and protected him (Job 1:9–11). The real test, therefore, was whether Job would still trust God when the benefits appeared to disappear.
And that question remains relevant today:
Would God still be worthy of our worship if the answer to our prayers were not what we hoped for?
Habakkuk 3:17–18 captures this beautifully. Even if the fig tree did not blossom, the fields yielded no food, and the livestock disappeared, the prophet declared that he would still rejoice in the Lord. That is a faith whose foundation is God Himself, not merely what He provides.
However, I also think we must be careful not to swing to the opposite extreme. Asking God for provision, healing, children, protection, or financial breakthrough is not inherently transactional. Jesus taught us to ask for our daily bread (Matthew 6:11), and Hebrews 4:16 invites us to approach the throne of grace to receive mercy and find help in our time of need.
The problem is not that we ask God for things; it is when what we hope to receive becomes the primary reason we seek Him. There is a difference between approaching God as our Father, trusting His goodness, and approaching Him as though our prayers, offerings, or sacrifices are payments that obligate Him to deliver our preferred outcomes.
Even giving must be understood within that framework. Second Corinthians 9:7 says that each person should give as they have decided in their heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion. Generosity is an expression of grace and love, not a spiritual bribe.
And perhaps the most sobering biblical example is Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They declared that God was able to deliver them from the furnace, but even if He did not, they would not bow to Nebuchadnezzar’s image (Daniel 3:17–18). Their allegiance to God was not conditional on their escape.
That, to me, is the difference between faith that trusts God and faith that attempts to negotiate with Him.
I also agree with your point about questioning spiritual authority. The Bereans were commended for examining the Scriptures daily to verify what Paul taught (Acts 17:11). If the teachings of an apostle could be examined against Scripture, then surely no modern minister should be beyond sincere, respectful scrutiny. Spiritual authority should direct people towards God, not make itself a substitute for Him.
Perhaps the deeper question is this: Are we teaching people to love God, or merely teaching them how to pursue the benefits of belonging to Him?
Because Christianity is not a guarantee that we will never suffer, lack, grieve, or encounter unanswered questions. It is an invitation into reconciliation with God, transformation of character, fellowship with Christ, and the hope of eternal life.
As Paul wrote in Philippians 3:8, he counted everything as loss compared with the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus his Lord.
Ultimately, the greatest evidence of spiritual maturity may not be how much we have received from God, but whether our love, obedience, gratitude, and trust in Him can endure even when life does not unfold as we desire.
God is not a vending machine, but neither is He indifferent to our needs. He is Father, Lord, and the greatest treasure of our faith. The blessings matter, but the One who blesses matters infinitely more.
Thank you for provoking this conversation, Ron. 🙏🏽