STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
TIPS NEEDED TO END A MENTALLY DRAINING FRIENDSHIP
I never thought I’d be writing this, because we’ve been close for years but I am officially mentally drained and need your advice on how to peacefully exit a friendship without triggering a massive blow up that will embarrass both of us!
For the past year, I’ve noticed that every time something good happens in my life, my closest friend’s entire energy shifts.
Whether I get a promotion at work, buy something nice for myself, or share happy news about my relationship, she either goes completely silent, changes the subject, or hits me with a slick backhanded compliment.
I’ve literally reached a point where I downplay my achievements and walk on eggshells around her just so she doesn’t feel insecure or start acting cold.
It is so draining!
It hurts realizing that someone I always cheer for secretly hates seeing me win and celebrate my wins. I know I need to protect my peace and let this friendship go, but she is super confrontational and loves playing the victim.
If I confront her directly, I know she’ll get angry, cause unnecessary drama, and try to turn our mutual friends against me...This is exactly what i am avoiding.
How do I quietly distance myself and cut her off smoothly without making her mad or starting a war that i dont want? Please help a sister out !
Stella give me bad advice if you have to but make it make sense!
Hahahahahahahha this one is easy nau......If you want to end it, please just borrow money from her and if she gives you, delay it paying back and keep postponing it with tears........Just borrow money and you will see magic..
If she says she doesn't have it, she will still avoid you....LOL
Does her name starts with V...?
ReplyDeleteAnd she is not tall
Lol
DeleteThe best way to distance yourself from such a friend is not through confrontation but through quiet adjustment.
ReplyDeleteStop sharing every win, reduce unnecessary communication, and limit access to your personal life.
Any relationship where your happiness feels like an inconvenience is not worth it. Stay cordial, but learn to create distance. She will get the message and also break away.
Simple
DeleteYou just tok my mind
DeleteSend hera text. Tell her you no longer want to continue the friendship for personal reasons.
ReplyDeleteThis strategy can still start a fight.
DeleteOr be unavailable all the time,just be claiming busy..
DeleteYou can form busy schedule, thereby reducing your interaction till everything fades out.
ReplyDeleteLol.. you can actually try Stella’s advice ๐คฃ
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the birth of your baby
DeleteThats a stupid advice stella.
ReplyDeleteStella oooo ๐
ReplyDeleteI love this your advice in particular ๐
Easy don't I repeat don't share your win with him or her
ReplyDeleteYou seem peaceful from your write up. All the things she has been doing to you, start doing them to her. Be returning the energy
ReplyDeleteThe only reason i dont like Stella’s advice is that it will be a dent on you if you borrow money and delay in returning. It’s giving onigbese vibes.
ReplyDeleteIt's very easy nah. Stop showing up. Distance yourself from her.
ReplyDeleteStella this your advice eh ๐คฃ. Well, you can try what Stella said, maybe it will work ๐
ReplyDeleteGive her that busy busy attitude and see what happens..
ReplyDeleteSince she is toxic and dramatic, don’t go through the same route. I will slowly distance myself, stop calling and stop texting. If she calls ignore or when you pick, keep conversation short and generic.
ReplyDeleteDon’t give her any information about you anymore. Adults don’t usually change.
This is AI
ReplyDeleteSome signs of jealousy around your success are:
She downplays your achievements.
She changes the subject when you share good news.
She criticises your success instead of congratulating you.
She seems happier when things aren't going well for you.
She compares herself to you and becomes resentful.
A healthy friend doesn't have to be thrilled every second, especially if they're struggling themselves, but they should generally want you to do well and be able to celebrate your wins.
You could say something like:
"When something good happens to me, I sometimes feel like you're upset rather than happy for me. I'd like to understand what's going on because I want us to support each other."
Her response will tell you a lot. If she's honest and admits feeling insecure or left behind, that's something the two of you may be able to work through. If she becomes hostile, dismisses your feelings, or repeatedly tries to make you feel bad for succeeding, that's more concerning.
One important question to ask yourself: when you succeed, does she seem hurt because she's afraid of losing you, or because she doesn't like seeing you succeed?
Be distant. Avoid communicating with her.
ReplyDeleteStella, this ya advice no follow, if she borrow money from her friend and she doesn't pay back, the ffriendt will spread news the news that she is a chronic debtor and that will make her case worse.
ReplyDelete