Drama indeed!
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
NAMING A CHILD WHEN DRAMA IS INVOLVED.
This may be a very long chronicle. But please take time to read and post so my fellow BVs can advise me.
I met a guy last year January. We started dating. We had been planning to do some sort of introduction by december as he made me meet his family. they welcomed me wholeheartedly (or so I thought as love de my eye then). I was a bit hesitant to introduce him to mine but he started saying oh I had other guys Bla bla. Even met with mutual friends and said I wasn't introducing him to my people. Bla bla. Long story short. He met my mom (dads late).
Mid year into 2014. I got pregnant.
So when I told him then that I was preggy. As expected, he flipped and didn't speak to me for about two weeks. I was already 5weeks gone. Plus the 2 weeks he didnt speak to me made it 7 weeks. I confided in my godmom (she is very dear to me) and she advised I let his people know and that I should not do anything drastic.
I went ahead and told his mom (who at that point was my paddy and we used to jist a lot), she told his dad. They invited me over and discussed and pleaded I should not abort it Bla bla. That they were going to speak to their son. I went home. 1 week later,he called and asked why i told his folks and all. That if not he would have suggested I abort the baby.
(In all my 29 years on earth. I thought to myself, I had never been pregnant and I have been sexually active. God has given me this and you want me to abort it? Ko possible)
Meanwhile his folks had gone ahead to ask my people for introduction list as the mom claimed her son gave her go ahead to ask as they wanted To pay my dowry.
Long story short. That's where trouble started. My boyfriend started giving me attitude. Would ignore my calls. Not reply texts, read Bbms, not reply, even change dp. My mom said I should be patient. I asked him ''wasn't it you that told your folks you want to pay for dowry and all?''. He said yes.
I asked ''so what's up with the attitude?''. he Said that it was nothing and he was taking it all in. I said ok.
12 weeks went by and i had to register for ante natal (he was owing me some money which he borrowed, he paid back around that time and added 50k additional). I registered and all.
Then He would call and start to pick up fights with me. He wanted me to move in with his parents. I stood on my ground firmly that I couldnt stay with his folks. That's when trouble started.
In November, we had a quarrel over him always discussing whatever we plan or discuss with his mom. I was very upset and asked him what kind of grown man runs to his mom with every discussion. I got to find out when his mom called and was insulting me that I said I can't move in with them, that I plan to travel abroad to have my baby,she asked why I couldnt stay in Nigeria,and that Why do I want to waste her sons money. My people,The last and only money given to me by him was the 50k extra he added to what He was owing me
This was the last I heard from him. Since November 2014. Now I am abroad and due to have the baby anytime from now.
I have decided to move on with my life. Prayed to God for strength and wisdom. Financially. I am not doing bad. I bought my ticket myself. Sorted my hospital and doctors bills here and every extra bill has been taken care of by me alone!!
I have decided that my child isn't going to take on his last name. I mean how can a man later claim responsibility for a child he didnt spend a dime on?
I want my child to take on my grandpas name. None of his family members or him have said hello since November.
Am I taking it too far by not giving my child his last name?
Why would you give your son your grandfathers last name?Give him his father's name irrespective of how he has treated you.You have no right making that decision and you would be robbing the child of whats his.
All the best and let me know when your patter of tiny feet arrives.*Mwah!*
.............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
WHISTLEBLOWING ON BROTHER IN LAW SLEEPING WITH HIS SISTER IN LAW
You said they both read this blog right?hmmmmmmm
Three things might happen if you keep quiet.
your younger sister might get pregnant,
she might break up your sisters marriage
or just plain get messed up.
whatever it is,please do the right thing!
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
WHISTLEBLOWING ON BROTHER IN LAW SLEEPING WITH HIS SISTER IN LAW
Dear Stella,
As i write to you i'm so confused and worried and sad and disappointed.
I don't even know where to start or if i should even start as the parties involved read your blog and i really don't want any trouble.
Anyways here it goes, i have 2 sisters and one is married as she is the oldest. we are very very close we are like best friends. my younger sister and i usually spend a lot of time with our older sister and her family, we sleep over a lot too.
On this fateful day after gisting and playing we slept over again and in the middle of the night something funny happened.
We slept on the sofas because of mosquitoes and as such i wasn't so comfortable so i didn't sleep deep. In the middle of the night for some reason, i opened my eyes in the dark and see my sister's husband standing beside my younger sister in only boxers and it looked like my younger sister looked upset and at that point i moved my legs and my sister's husband went behind my sofa to hide while my younger sister got on the sofa like she was sleeping, after a minute the guy went and stood in front of my younger sister and kissed her forehead (or lips i'm not even sure which)and left quietly.
I was scared and shocked and didn't even move as i didn't want them to know i was awake.
I couldn't sleep after that, the whole day i kept on thinking about it, i didn't know what to make of it. I asked myself if i was jumping into conclusions or just being paranoid, but a kiss on the forehead? for what now, when did that one start and why the sneaking around. the whole day i just kept looking at them and wondering and whenever they were alone together i kept imagining what they were doing. I hate what i saw and the way its making me feel and i cant tell anyone i know, i don't want to air our dirty laundry in public.
I don't know what to do Stella, i don't want to be the one to cause any fight, please help me, advice me on what to do.
You said they both read this blog right?hmmmmmmm
Three things might happen if you keep quiet.
your younger sister might get pregnant,
she might break up your sisters marriage
or just plain get messed up.
whatever it is,please do the right thing!
Poster1
ReplyDeleteI trust bv's to start agreeing with Stella but my opinion is different. If it were me I would give f child my dad's name end of story. If in the near future ur ex and his family wnt to be in d child life and they request a change of name which can always be gotten, then I will make a list of all I spent tickets, bills, accommodation and so on
When they pay in full then I change the name. As for now na my papa name my baby will answer.
Gbam ,Gbamest ,stella how can you even say that .the part of iboland where i come from if you have a child without a bride prize paid that child belongs to your family ,and i must tell you again the part of ibo land where i come from if you dont have a male child in your family , female can decide to have children without being married and the children will have her fathers name .so stella give me one reason why she has no right to name the child
DeleteI would not give the baby his father's name. Still, paying back money I used on my child will not be a factor in changing the name to his in the future.They will just have to beg to b part of the child's life and I need to see the seriousness.
DeleteI swear! Stella is wrong. A man sleeps with a woman without a condom and what does he expect? A range? Men it's a baby that would develop. If he doesn't want it, girl, the child is all yours!! I don't even know what Stell means by "denying him what's his" if a person is raped by an armed robber who she later found out the identity, should she still name the child after the robber. Let go of what makes u stop. I salute ur strength dear. God bless u
DeletePoster1, give ur kid your great great grand father 's name,nonsense
DeleteBlanca Bruno I love you already!#nohomo......ima ife!
Deleteofcourse u are right bianca, lemme scroll down and see the bvs that will support stella as usual
DeleteI support u nne..i even hav a relative d wife died and left 5 girls.he sed before d girls go marry, Dem go born son for him dat he doesn't mind..poster 1 so after pressuring u to marry..dude cannot b bold enuf to cater for his child.y did he want to marry un d first place..abeg poster d baby is urs..giv him any surname u want(I wish u a boy)..if he doesn't like it..he shud cone take care of him..also dis will make Dem know u ain't a parasite to dem
DeleteExactly! , Bootylycious diva. The place where I come from, as long as nothing has been done on the woman's head and she has the baby, that child bears the maternal family name, not the paternal. And it costs so much to do the traditional change of name, that's why many guys rush to do the trad even a day before delivery.
DeleteStella bear in mind that in igbo land, in a family where there are only female children and the father doesn't want a second wife or concubine, one of the female children may volunteer to remain at home to have kids, hoping to have males that will take up their father's name so the house doesn't close down when the man of the house is gone
So this girl has every right, customarily (depending on her place of origin though), to give her last name to her baby
@Bianca n Booty cudnt agree wit u less. In a situation like dis, I'd Never give my baby d man's name for what?? D kid wud answer my Dad's name abeg. Y give him that honour sef? Odiegwu
DeleteAnon 17.17, do u mean that the girl would stay in her father's house and bear his children? I hope i'm reading it wrong!
DeleteGive that child ure mums name sef if u want! No mind Stella! Inukwa akuko! How can we keep making excuses for the stupidity of the male gender!
Delete@Anon 17:17 yes u read wrong. The girl will bear children from other men but not marry I think, and not from her father o. Either way, still don't sound right to me
DeleteShe should name the child after his father, for all I care,
DeleteThis lady is high headed simply becos she has little moni, spend as much as u like, wen the tym comes ur. Baby would look for his dad, pls don't start wht u can't finish, let God fight ur battle for u..stop forming boss lady..
Like your comment Jasmyn! Has she taken permission from her dad to use his name? I asked a friend living abroad, she said, whatever name she puts on the birth certificate is permanent, she can change it within a specific period of time and she will pay a fine of about a thousand dollars. Narrative 1, think this deep.
DeleteWell in the UK it's not permanent. Change of name cost only £20 most. The baby has no reason what so ever to bear the man's name. Mscheww
DeletePoster 1: Please put the child's name in your family name. If he changes his attitude and his repentant, then apply for change of name. I know someone who was in the same position as you and she's a single mum now. MOVE On, God will give you the bone of your bone. Safe delivery love.
ReplyDeleteP2,if you cant tell ur sis straight,mtn sim is 150. if u can,ask those boys if they hv a pre-registered one. Again,u can steal a sim n send that msg.
ReplyDeleteP1,you sound rich. Were u by any chance trying to hook the guy with pregnancy?.
Poster 2 I tire for the matter
DeletePoster1 u taking it way too serious,I know its annoyin having to fend for the baby alone bt just tke it easy nd take stella's advice
DeleteIrene I don't think so cos from d story.d guy was d person who talked her into marriage now he's getting cold feet..men! Mtcheeeeeew
DeletePoster 1... I'll say u should give the child your family name
DeletePoster 2. Try to catch them red handed to be sure cus if u talk 2 ur younger sis about it nw, since u re not sure of what u saw, she can deny it and be careful next time
Guys check this out, it costs nothing
http://youthsalary.com/?user=7448
Abeg jor, number 1 chronicle, give him you grandfather name, you don't force a child to take the name of people that won't want to associate with him. If the father comes to his senses, when the boy is old enough, he can change his name
ReplyDeleteGod bless u my dear ....I don't agree wit Stella one bit, do u knw wat it means to carry a child nd b responsible for him when d dad is alive? Stella pls don't go there Biko, poster I'm in same situation nd my son'a passport has my dad's names cos I won't give glory to a man dat denied his child , when he's ready for responsibilities we will do d needful but for now pls I'm so doing wat makes me happy
DeleteYou are a correct somborri.
DeleteYou think providing sperm is all it takes to be a father??
Take care of the child yourself and prevent toxins from entering your life.
Na wa!
ReplyDeleteName ur child anytin u want...they left u alone while u r pregnant,dat means dey don't regard d baby as their's
ReplyDelete#2...be sure of what's going on b4 u conclude...can't u confront ur younger sister n ask her what's going on between her n ur brother-in-law?
Poster 1,
ReplyDeleteAm so happy you are financially buoyant and I like the step you took....
He will surely come around to beg when things are ok but don't ever listen to him...
He is very useless for not taking responsibility of his flesh and blood which means he has never loved you...
May God be your strength....
Poster 2,
When it comes to husband and wife matter,I no dey put mouth....
Call your younger sister and ask her what really happend between her and your brother inlaw....
Advise her to open up to your elder sister... Don't tell your elder sister your self. Cos she won't believe you....I know women...
Kai,driving and typing,shame on me...
Stella, this your blog go kill me one day...
Poster 1,give d baby his dad's name,ur child Wnt be happy if he/she bears ur grandfather's name ,poster 2, buy a SIM card Nd tell ur elder sister wats happening
Deletekwin of d blog i hope u r kiddin wen u say u r typin n drivin o
Deletebiko live n let live
LIFE ENCOUNTERS
Never! Anyways u won't understand .
Delete@jenny...only d person dt wears d shoes knows where it itches....if it were me I ld give d child my father's name oo....my father ld b soo happy sef....d man is nt worth it
DeleteI'll just read comments
ReplyDelete*Whistling*
Ps1,,, be patient and apply wisdom. Don't take up responsibilites. Just bc u ve d money unless u re ready to continue dat way. He is suppose to be ur husband, so start now to learn to be submissive and endure. Marriage is diff frm courtship,,,, Contact him and talk it over wit him bf making such decision if he is stil interested wit marriage tinz let them go 4 d introductn in ur absent. D baby is his until he denies.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is to be enjoyed not endured my dear.
DeleteBTW, they are not married yet.
Endure what??
DeleteIs poster's name endurance??
This guy was never interested in marriage!
He dangled it,got her wantonly in bed and got her pregnant! So exactly what is she enduring? The constant shame,lack of empathy,lack of conscience and wickedness he's meted on her?
Please that is not the definition of marriage and don't even say she's spending money just because she chose to get a better health care!
My dear..take care of your child okay...if the child is male,in my parts is usually very tricky,but I believe your dad will advice you better. I feel so sad for you....Man may fail,but God never fails... hugs for ages!
A man that hasn't called since November? Hissss! Enduring even before they start living as man nd wife? May God open ur eyes naija women .
DeleteWhat are u even saying
DeleteSubmissive to who exactly???
A man that doesnt care if his unborn child lives or dies??
Poster 1:give your baby ur name
It's ur baby
What's this one saying? They are not married.
DeletePoster give the child any name you like it's ur child not his, as he has decided not to play a part, u should just forget him and move on.
That sounds very sadistic, y should she endure, for what nau. Pls marriage is not to be endured at all and the handwriting is on the wall, the dude is not interested in the lady or the unborn child so poster please give the child your family name inugo? It is well with you.
DeleteY do I feel like u re d guy in question... @divinity
DeletePoster 1: don't mins Stella, never I repeat never you give that child his father's last name. a father is not just a biological father but someone that takes responsibility. They haven't married you, until they do the needful, that child remains in your family. Don't mind Stella, what stupid right is that? In my place, even if a man has been with a woman for 100 years, if they haven't paid her dowry, the kids belongs to the woman's family. Someone that initially wanted to kid aborted now he wants free child with Yankee passport, God punish satan!!!
ReplyDeletePoster 2: watch them closely, confirm and gather evidence then raise an alarm. Never keep mum to this kind of abomination.....PH GAL
Exactly p1... give your child whatever name you want. My son bears my father's name... that's its done in my place except the man involve has paid your dowry. P2... I think you should talk to your younger sis first. The man might be forcing her or something, if not try talking sense into her if she's not repentant then you can involve your elder sis... goodluck to you all
DeleteI dey parra wit Stella ....wat rubbish advice is dat? I'm even happy the poster is strong . Pls don't give them free passport oh , when he's ready u can change name .
DeleteP1. That's what happens when you put the cart before the horse. You chose to be sexually active with a man that has not married you. Women please use courtship as a time to learn more about marriage and their partners instead of putting themselves in funny situations. Thank God you have a job. Give ur child d father's name but be ready to raise d child alone. Wish you safe delivery.
ReplyDeleteMistletoe
Best comment ever. Love you to the moon, I wonder wht dis world is turning into reading other comments and am like. Wht kind of minset children of nowadays have. To me she is a bit desperate, whee wants to hook the guy with pregnancy and the guy is not that financially ready for marriage.
DeleteLemme go anon on dis one, poster one same tin happened to my mom wen i was born, till date my father hasnt spent a dime on my head, however i ansa his name. Jst imagining hw he will kip his mouth to eat my bride price. Poster 2 dats a very difficult position u find urself in, but b4 u run into conclusions, try setting a trap for both of them so u can catch them again. If ur suspicions re correct dont hesitate to let ur older sista knw. I hate randy men n wayward gals. Sowi to say but ur sista is highly wayward, i mean who does a thing like dat wid men littered lk flies evrywhr...
ReplyDeletePoster 1 : you are a strong lady and I applaud you for your bravery.... I can't even to imagine not having the moral support needed from the father to be of your child . Let alone bearing all responsibilities Finiacially...
ReplyDeleteI wonder why the sudden change of attitude of your boyfriend!
Well I don't think you are taking things too far!!
You are trying to be the best , you can be for you unborn child, and you are being emotional as well.
I would further be infuriated if your boyfriend shows up out of the blue, after you put to bed! Claiming all lovey dovey!!!!
But his parents seem responsible !! U sure they are not angry for disobeying them by travelling abroad to put to bed, nevertheless it shouldn't stop them from being supportive at this point in time.
Just focus in yourself and birthing your child, for now.
Hugs dear!!
Poster 2: are you being serious right now??
Pls confront your sister !! She is your sister , if you don't who are you expecting to?
Get your facts from her ist , verify the situation before planning what next to do.
*begin
Delete* on
Hate this auto correct. Sigh.
Very strong lady indeed....I just love ur spirit @poster
DeleteU all hailing her strong lady r not doing her any good, the parent might want to see her worst, tht gal is to proud, wht will it take her to stay with the parent until she gives birth, since she had a good relationship with the mum, becos she doesn't want to be controlled.. she has some kind of attitude she doesn't want them to know of.. afterall they were in support from the beginning.. she should learn how to be a wife not only a mother..
Delete11:59 thank you for saying the truth. Let her head be swelling with pride from the hailings of these peeps who will not hesitate to move in with their in-laws if it was them! Her eyes will clear when she sees how far! If you like give the child your name or your ancestor's, when the time comes, the child will walk with his or her two legs to look for his/her father! Some peeps telling you their child don't bear their daddies name should say the truth what happened! Be forming strong woman, you hear?
DeleteAnonymous 11:59. U b olodo I swear. So if she wants to go to Yankee to birth her kid she shud stay back because her supposed in laws said so. is she asking them to pay? Wnt she comeback? Olodo.
DeleteNarrative 2 . Speak to ur younger sister alone. Tell her u saw something..maybe she can talk to you. And maybe you can both find a way to fix it without completely breakin off the family. Maybe.
ReplyDeleteNawaoo. Let me just read comments.
ReplyDeletePamscrib.blogspot.com
Hello Stella, i don't like your advice @ poster 1, please do whatever that pleases you.
ReplyDeleteThings are happening, sis Stella you shld name dis section "WAHALA" chronicles. May God bless you both with wisdom to sort ur issues out *Sighs
ReplyDeletePoster 2, if I were u, I'll confront my sister who's involved to get the truth dem her . Pls dnt keep quiet abt it. May God help u.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, the Lord is it strenght! Pls let the baby bear the fathers name for future sake. I wish u safe delivery
Narrative1, plz let the baby bear the mans name, you can punish him by denying him access not punishing the baby by robbing him/her of him/her identity.
ReplyDeleteNarrative2, plz confront your younger sister and ask her to explain what you saw. afterwards speak to your brother in-law to desist from such act. don't let your elder sister know as it may be devastating for her cos of who is involved (her on sister)
In the world today, u can't punish a man by denying him access to his kids when they already bear his name.., it's as simple as abc! Our judicial and traditional systems favour the men. ( speaking from experience) pls give ure child ure name and forget that good for nothing nigga, ivn if he comes around ltr, I know for a fact that any man who can pull this kinda stunt it's liable to do worse( trust me it Dznt get better) don't mk it easier for him to win by handing him over ure child so easily! #nuffsaid
DeleteWhat identity is this one talking about? Are u saying that the woman herself is invisible in the whole matter. That she has no say over a child she will eventually carry for 9months, go thru labour, sleepless nights, breastfeeding and all others for? U must be joking. Or a serious push over. Women have to be strong these days. That's what will keep u going in this world.
DeletePoster 2 please dear call your sister and warn her seriously not to do anything funny with your brother in law, I hope they haven't done it yet.
ReplyDeleteReport her to your mum or parents and let her be banned from ever visiting that house and communicating with your elder sister's husband.
She is a backstabber.
Imagine having a thing with your own sister's husband.
Such disloyalty to family.
If she has done anything with that pig of a BIL,then she is a very wicked girl and doesn't deserve anything good in life.
My dear, you have to do something. If you keep quiet, she may wreck your sister's home and even yours in the near future.
You need to act now before things get out of hand.
I also think your sister's husband needs to be invited by your parents and given the warning of his life.
How dare he disrespect your family like that?
He is a shameless he goat.
Please you too should stop visiting that house before he rapes you one day.
He is an irresponsible man.
A disgrace to other good husbands.
Thread with caution around him and that your sister. They are not trustworthy at all.
All the best.
Poster 1,
I don't see why your child should bear his father's name when the said father seem not to be happy with his conception and arrival.
He hasn't married you and according to my tradition, any child born out of wedlock bears his maternal name.
Oh well, what do I know?
All the best as you decide.
Safe delivery.
Useless man!
DeleteOf all the women to lust after! He is chasing her up and down with his stupid dick. In his boxers! Ofugbuolam!
If that girl has slept with him,it means she is damn too easy! Tufia!
I feel sick to my stomach already!!
Totally agree with you babe. That child shouldn't have his name
DeleteExactly @poster2 , I don't see why my should should bear an irresponsible man's name
DeletePoster 1, I hate men when they don't live up to their responsibilities... I know its not easy but please, forget the man and forge ahead with your life. Thank God you are doing okay for yourself and DON'T ever give the baby his name since all he knows how to do is to do push up on top of a woman and won't face the result... They will still come back for their child, that will be when you go open account for their head because they must pay for all the expenses you made since you get belle. Safe delivery my dear....
ReplyDeletePoster 2, please confront your kid sister and if really she is sleeping with her in law, use SLAP deliver her from that sickness because its a back stab.
Poster 1, have your baby and move on. This is what getting pregnant out of wedlock breeds ladies take care of your body till he marries. Whether you name your child after him or not is entirely up to you. It's your body I do not subscribe to stella's advice.
ReplyDeleteP1 let nothing fool u n u give ur babydaddy's last name to that kid,
ReplyDeleteAlbeit ask him n be tactful n c his response b4 u conclude.
He's a nama.
P2
Tallk to younger sister,
Threaten her!
N threaten ur brother-in-law hooo haaa
Unless he's feeding u guys.
Hegoat of a man!
Mtchewww
Some men deserve whateva punishment life can offer.
No be only give ur child his father's name! Which father? Man weh be only sperm donor? Abegi! It takes a whole lot to be a father and man totally lacks it. Biko poster one you ain't taking nothing too far o, give your child the name u wanna give him or her, period!
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm...I don't even know what to say sef....complicated issues tho.....all is well
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm... Poster one.. Your situation is very sticky. But I have to disagree with stella.. I think you have every right to not give your baby your Bf's last name. Being a father is more than about DNA and if he doesn't want that child.. He doesn't deserve the honour of having a child with his surname... Simple.. Till he does the right thing. People in America do it all the time, it's not by force to give a child the man's name.. Especially when he and his family have basically abandoned you.
ReplyDeleteI have my mothers surname and I'm very very proud because I know how my mum suffered to have me and what circumstance and heartache she went through. However, bring up your child to know who his father is and where his family is, don't deny him the option to have a relationship with him and don't talk bad about the man, just the truth. I think until he does the right thing, you have every right to give your child your own surname.. After all.. He has not married you! That's my own 20 pence... Good luck.
Poster 2: I advice you and your sister to leave your sister's house immediately... If I were you, I would speak to my younger sister, let her know that I know what is going on and what I saw and demand the truth from her, after that I will inform her to tell your older sister what she has been doing.. Or else you will and involve he entire family. It is not your responsibility to talk but it is your responsibility to ensure that your little sister does the right thing - and that's confess. Otherwise this issue will be way bigger than it needs to be.. Your sister may think that you too are after her husband and may be upset at you for not talking, but if you act responsibly and beg your sister to ask your older sister for forgiveness.. Your sister should appreciate you for that. That way your dirty laundry isn't out there for the world but for your family to resolve.. Hopefully amicably. Good luck to you sugar xxx
Don't I just love you mum already? Hmmmm! God bless every woman dat brought a child to dis world against all odds .....I will share my story soon. #Godwin
DeleteThank you hun. Amen... God bless all good mothers that sacrifice for their children
DeletePoster 2,talk to your mum if you still have one,keeping quiet might make things worse
ReplyDeleteNo1: since ur bf parents all know about d baby, I think ur baby should bear d dad's name
ReplyDeleteNo2: ur sisters need to know Abt wats going on especially tell ur younger sis first. Let her b aware Dat u saw wat happened. Stella sugar u r d best.
Wee you kip kwayet. They know and so what?were they there when he was putting her in the family and how have they tried to resolve the issue?poster 1 your child should bear your fathers name.
DeleteAbeg shut up! Shut up biko !
DeleteI ve no interest in d two stories.
ReplyDeleteBye eee.......
Bitch
DeleteChai......werepe woman!!!! Lol
DeleteUnsympathetic human being.. U would be stuck in a tight situation one day and someone would say " I'm not interested" .. Right in your face!
DeleteLet me read comments.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 gbalu oso(dont look back o) and go and tell ur sister o. What are you waiting for? Aru!
ReplyDeleteStella plz stop it o. Poster 1: give ur child ur granparent's name. D father is so heartless and doesn't deserve any form of respect or whatever. But open up to ur Child when he or she is grown about everything.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: open ur mouth wide and vomit everything to ur elder sis b4 ur younger sis destroys her home. Don't keep quiet o. Find a way to tell ur sis
Poster1 i think you are proud and full of yourself. From your narrative, seems you have small money hence u not wanting to give an inch to the father of your child. We stoop to conquer my dear
ReplyDeleteFaceless fool.use your blog ID
DeleteI bet u are a guy! Na ur type no dey want make their babes get money, u want dem to always depend on u so u can show dat u are a man. Idiot like u, d only thing u can say is dat she's proud, wat about d foolish guy dat is acting up and refusing to take up responsibility as a good father should. I'm sure u are worse!!!!!! Spit on u!!!!!! I pray never to jam ur type. Next time think and don't just rush to judge people.
DeleteTaaah!
DeleteWhat kind of mentality is this?
So if she had told you she went to the village to give birth,it will make her humble right??
What kind of inferiority complex do you people have sef????
Of all the things to pick from this lady's story,is the fact that you think she is proud? Seriously?
So if a man tell u abort a baby..u go count money give am..olodo
DeleteCow
DeleteGod punish you! " we stoop to conquer , but A MAN never lets his woman stoop.. He raises her up! Wetin consine this woman with stooping pls.. Isn't that supposed to be for married ppl? Them don marry her? Pls get away!
DeleteAbeg o.. Why should she give the man her hard earned money? When they ain't ivn married? I dated a man for years and wz doing all the giving because he simply didn't ask and today he has left me! I don't advice any woman to do Mary Amaka just to show how much u care.. Get married first.. That's the condition for my generosity! Isn't it the mans job to look after his woman? When did it change?
DeleteHow can u make such a senseless comment! The man is clearly dating this chick because she is comfortable, nothing else describes this attitude of running away when responsibity stares him in the face! He's simply running because apart from being a coward, he knows she is capable! When coast don chest he wee show up on his knees with flowers! Which woman should waste her life with such a man! Oh pls!
Deletesorry oh bt this poster 1 strikes me like a stubborn fellow oh. If them drop this matter for ground you will find out that you are the architect of your problem before anything I don't see luv existing between you both from the beginning
ReplyDelete2. you were hesitating introducing him to you family bt yet you took in for him
3. I think you would have been able to make things work out if you really wanted to have him, he sounds to me like a guy that can be worked opon you just didn't need him
Why do i have this feeling that you just got wat you wanted and let hin fuck off, you practically cut him off with style and now you want to give d child your grandfathers name. who does that?Honestly, be ready for drama
Hard truth, God is not judging anyone work on yourself,
Trust me you really didnt need the guy
You can pick your faults from your narrative. just sha be carful
Why not shut up n blame this woman less. U aren't in her shoes. And don't know what she is goin thru. U sound like a sexist clearly who thinks any small fight btw man n woman. Is clearly caused by the woman. If u have nothin great to say. Shut up.
DeleteYes o. Just shut up. Should she shed her blood for him?
DeleteC ur mouth "yet u took in for him" do u kno weds she planned to take in..on top dat d rubbish man dat was in a hurry to marry is suggesting for abortion pf which is d poster eventually does..he might still not agree to marry her cos of doubt of tampered womb..
DeletePlease who said a woman must " need" a guy! Ivn men say they admire women who want but don't need them! This man falls into that category! He obviously loves the fact that this lady isn't solely dependent on him and now he is taking advantage of it! I would like to state again... Pls... Pls and pls.. Women don't necessarily need men.. Atleast not Bfr marriage! Wth!
DeleteHmmmmmmm
ReplyDelete@ poster one if u wanna move on with your life no problem, but do let him know when the baby arrive, if he doesn't want the baby to bear his name, then u can go ahead with what u have in mind
@ poster 2, am surprise you havent called your younger sis to demand what that was all about, you don't have to call a family meeting before u sit her down and talk some sense into her, please don't wait till things get out of hand, sit her down, tell her what u saw n demand to know what's happening, after then u know what to advise.
Everyone sending chronicles please always come back to see intimate us of how it went, its not good not knowing how a story ended
Let who know when the child comes? He should come m look for his child when he feels like it's okay for him? Why worship a man that isn't ivn up to it!
DeletePOSTER 1: A child's father is a child's father but if it was me, I would stick to handling everything myself and let them be. They will look for you.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: You still dey ask? I would call a meeting on them and between 4 of us, we would discuss the issue or i tell my younger sister to tell the truth.
P1-let ur baby bear his/her father name,especially if na boy pikin. U own ur child regardless of whose surname he bears. I rem a story ,abt a woman who had a son and gave d boy her maiden name.then one day amebos wispered to d boy.na dat day d boy ask for his fathers name and house with stones in hand frm his mother. So my dear even if his father refused to take of his/her dnt deny d child its heritage.the child will decide later wether to accet him or not. Don't god will take care of ur needs. P2-dis matter needs to be handled wt care or else u go scatter ur sister house. Unless u catch dem red handle with solid prove and facts, u got notin on them before u carry blame wey no be ur own
ReplyDeleteYou are foolish. Till she sees his dick thrusting in her vagina abi....ewu.
DeleteYour stupidity is appalling.. There is no child born out of such scenario that would do what u just said.. Except the mum does not tell the story exactly as it is. Pls ma'am, when ure child is born, forget about the fact that ure story would paint u saintly , and paint ure husband otherwise.. Tell ure child the story exactly as it is.. If he/she wants to know his father no p! Don't let anyone bully u into giving the child that wicked mans name just because it seems like it's the right thing!
DeletePoster2call your younger sister and warn her sternly. Call your elder sister and tell her what you saw and both you nd d oda sister should stop visiting your elder sister. Let her enjoy her marriage.
ReplyDeletePoster1your child will always have his fathers name and will still need to know his father no matter what. So don't deny ur baby that even if u are. Not with d father of ur baby.
N1: Your comment "...so when I told him I was preggy, AS EXPECTED he flipped and didn't speak to me for about two weeks" tells a lot about your relationship. That statement alone tells that from the beginning something is off in your relationship.
ReplyDeleteAs for the baby's name, when you put to bed call he to name his child (a father's blessing carries a lot of weight). You can still give your child a name and call him/her by it. But your child should be named by the father and should bear his/her father's last name.
Wish you safe delivery.
N2: Find out from your younger sister what's going on, because the scenario you just described looks suspicious. Tell her what you saw on the said night and demand for an explanation. From what she tells you then you'll know what to do, for all you know maybe he's forcing her by threatening her.
However you choose to go about it, make sure you imprint in her that it would be a thing of shame if she is the cause of any problem in your sister's marriage. So she better speak up in case it's rape you know how to help her.
No be only a father's blessings. My sis present husband did the same thing too, abandoned her while my parents took responsibility and my niece took our name till he came back to marry her properly now my niece bears her fathers name. Poster 1 let your child take your family name if the pikin papa come bk change of name no hard.
DeleteAbeg it's Gods blessing that bears the weight ure talking about.. Not a father who dznt want to acknowledge his child
DeleteI will jst read comments cos I dnt want to curse anybodi out...
ReplyDelete~@iamjbankz SA to President Jonathan 2015~
Poster1/in igbo land when issues like dis arise the unborn baby bears the name of the mother till the father decides to do the needful and accept responsibility of the child.
ReplyDeleteSo IMO,i think your baby should bear your grandfather's name.
Poster2/report to your elder sister ASAP before your broda in law impregnates her,because me i don't understand the meaning of his action o.
#1: Darling, that's such a horrible experience. It seems he was not serious from the start, obviously pregnancy was not on the agenda for him. Some guys go to the extreme just to get laid yet they are "gone with the wind" at the slightest complication.
ReplyDeleteThank God you can take of yourself, as unfair as that is, it could have been 10x worse. Honey please calm down, the last thing your body needs right now is stress. What's done is done, concentrate on being healthy and birthing a healthy baby as well.
As for the issue of name, it's my considered view that a baby or a child should have his/her father's name, regardless of the acrimony between both families. That's an innocent baby who didn't ask to be born, the actions of both parents triggered its conception. Please try to shield your baby from the drama. As long as paternity is not in dispute, your child should bear his/her biological father's name for now. Honey, I know you are upset, and rightly so, you feel duped but when you calm down, you'll realise you have to do what's right for your baby.
Whatever happens later, please be very careful with your decision about whom you get married to eventually. Your baby-daddy and his family have shown you whom they are and what they're all about. Like one of the late Maya Angelou's quotes I love a lot "when a person shows you who they are the 1st time, believe them". Remember, a child is not a cogent reason enough to settle for less. Please don't use a wrong to further complicate another wrong. I wish you safe delivery, darling.
#e-bearhugs.
Where is it written in the nigerian constitution that every child must bear the father's name! Who made it right?
DeletePoster1: Safe delivery with the baby. And frankly in my place you can't give your baby his father's name if your bride price is not paid and you are not married. Or if the man does not claim the child via stipulated prices.
ReplyDeleteDon't know sha, PRAY!
Poster2: You did not speak to the sneaky, thieving sister and would not speak to the innocent, clueless sister... which one you dey sef?
C'mon speak!!! Open that your mouth and speak. And begin with that betrayer that calls herself a sister and the unfaithful hubby.
Then pray, well-well o, and talk to your elder sister.
This cannot be hidden. To hide it, makes you as guilty as they.
Exactly! Till he does the right thing, the baby can't have his name
Deletenr2 nawa for ur younger sis o she must be a slut to do such a tin with her sisters housband.am d last born all my sisters are married i never stay more than a week in there houses
ReplyDeletenr2 nawa for ur younger sis o she must be a slut to do such a tin with her sisters housband.am d last born all my sisters are married i never stay more than a week in there houses
ReplyDeleteBest comment so far, pack and leave your sister's house first, when you get back, talk to your younger sister and warn her, insist that you guys will never pass the night there..Telling your elder sister MAY not be the best idea, Call her Idiot husband and warn him too, if you guys must go to your sister's house *DO NOT PASS the night there* if you must, sleep in same room with your younger sis..A man married to your elder sis, touching your younger sis while you lay down in same place can rape you, he is cursed!
DeletePoster 1: I do not agree with BVs that are saying you should plead with the father of your child, if he is not willing to take responsibility pls leave him be and pray for him do not put yourself in a situation where he would accuse you of forcing him to marry you. Biko take care of your baby and give him/her whatever last name you feel like.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Talk to your sister and settle the matter btw your sister and your folks
P2. Talk to your younger sister o! Warn her seriously and reduce the number of times both of u go to your elder sister's house.
ReplyDelete@poster 1: I don't know the tripe you are from but if it is most part of Igbo land;when a man doesn't pay your dowry and you get pregnant and later delivers; your child will answer your father's name.so if you are Igbo and they paid no dowry; you have the right to say your baby will have your family name.but my advice is move on with your life.you are better of without him.don't bring a man that will bring sorrow and bitterness into your life by making you to be lonely if you get married to him.you deserve much better.a marriage is to be enjoyed not endured.if you get married to this man you will endure the marriage.take care of your child when he or she arrives and yourself too and if you so desire tell the baby about the father when he or she grows up.
ReplyDeletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
One:Dont give that kid ur name abeg...
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Two: just threatening ur
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***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Poster 1: Thank God u are financially Ok, don't let his attitude and dat of his parents get to u. Take care of ur child and let him/her have his last name. U can't change d child's father, just be calm and don't let their attitude disturb u. I'm sure he'll come back with sob stories and beg. Just move on, a guy dat could treat u like dat when u needed him most, when u both were supposed to stay strong, is not worth worrying abt. Ur baby is a gift from God which u should guard jealously against all odds.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: tell ur mum wat u saw. Both of u should stay away from ur sister's house for now, she needs her privacy. That ur bro inlaw is a beast!!!!!
Poster 1.. since you are the one taking care of the pregnancy, you can give your baby your fathers name but you must add your husband name/grandfather's name. if not the man wey do the thing you for never get belle. So sorry for him and add small of his name.
ReplyDeleteposter 2.... are you afraid of your junior sister, confront her and let her know you saw the shameless man and her.
i think both of you should stop going to your senior sister house for now before una let your sister lose her marraige. Make una dey sit for una house.
Poster 1, safe delivery. Thank God you are financially buoyant. Maybe the guy never wanted to marry you cos this change in attitude tire me. Poster 2, hian. We won't see fire inside borehole. Abeg, call your younger sister and tell her what you saw. If need be, threaten her. Na wah o.
ReplyDelete1. I feel you shouldn't give your child his grand father's name. No matter what, its his right to bear his fathers name cos his blood runs in him and that's a pointer to his pedigree. His father and family might come for him tomorrow. Wishing you a safe delivery.
ReplyDelete2. Please do not keep quiet about what you know so you don't allow your elder sister's marriage to get destroyed while you're protecting your name.
Go anonymous on this is you don't want to let them know what you know as ur brother in-law will deny it.
Your elder sis should know so that she can be watchful and careful.
Your poster 1 advice is WRONG. So what if the child carries his DNA,do you see people who use sperm donors give the child the sperm donors name?please women should begin to take charge of their bodies and stop being feeble minded. Your body, your choice
DeleteI wish u could see the mediocrity in ure write up! So only a mans blood runs through a baby? Ain't u forgetting a baby is combination of two ppls DNA and all.. U need to go back to secondary school
DeleteLolz
ReplyDeleteI don't know why people give a fuss about baby surname,if I where you I would name my baby whatever I like
Names like obukoko,obukomena .asari etc
DeleteP1-PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO DIVINITY. Divinity, what kind of wicked woman are you?
ReplyDelete@ poster 2:she is your younger sister so pull her on the ears and make her to sit down.treat her fuck up.she is a disgrace.she is a back stabber and wicked. why will she carry her sex escapades to her sister's house. so she doesn't have what is called self control. then when you are through with her talk to your sister about the husband.you have to do it in order to prevent worst stories that touch in the future.she has to know that her husband is a low life pervert.let that your sister stop that visitation entirely for now.let her go and work on her adulterous life before she can ever visit again.
ReplyDeleteP1-You see why one can not be with all these mamas boys. His mother has had her children, who is she to tell you were you should have your child? All these people ma sef.
ReplyDeleteSince you are very close to your sister tell her to keep an eye on the two of them. She will get the message and act on it. Tell her you just feel they are too close for comfort. I'm sure she might eventually catch them red handed.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 1: pls name your child whatever. Give am either your papa name or grandpapa name, all join. His so called disappearing act father only borrowed you his sperm and nothing more and for that, we thank him for his generosity.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2: Why you shift your leg? You would have allowed him to proceed into peneration then you go jump up like say witch dey pursue you for dream. You don't have proof so its your word against theirs. So don't tell your sister yet #MyOpinion
Poster 1. My dear I can't blame u cos am also a victim, today am a single mum. But am gonna tell u this, if u are a yoruba lady pls u are not giving this innocent child his fathers name bcs he worth it but bcs of tomorrow reason, children of nowadays are as smart as anything,the man is a stupid idiot, give his name to his child as a yoruba tradition demand. If u are an igbo lady from Anambra state (Idemili LGA) may God help him cos the child will answer his/her grandfathers name for life bcs ur dowry was not paid so the man will not claim the child for life. Poster 2. Ur younger sis is a dog, for the stupid he-goat u call in-law to kiss her forehead @ mid-night? Only God knows how far they hv gone, but what u will do is pretend as if u knew nothing , make sure u catch them red handed use ur blow to remove her teeth, that girl is a devil!!! Stop calling ur sis cos she's not, she can even poison u join. Catch them well so that there will be no room for denial. Good luck to u all
ReplyDeleteYou are right. We are from idemili north lga. Hubby is bearing his grandfathers name
DeleteI'm from igboetiti LGA in Enugu.. Same rule applies.. If the man hasn't paid a dime or Dznt tk responsibity, the woman's family takes responsibility and the child bears her family name.
DeletePOSTER 1
ReplyDeleteYou wan born for America, but the boy no get that kind money. But based on say you be "too-much-money" lady, u no wan hear.
Well, you have already made your choice. But in Nigeria, we name our kids with the father's name. There is no big deal in doing that. So comply.
To me, this story is not complete. Maybe the guy wanted the child but cld not afford US things. A stubborn you with cash had to leave them. na wa
To be broke is a crime in this society.
POSTER 2
Na wa oh. Beg your younger sister and let her know that what she is doing is destructive. If possible, arrange for both of you to leave the house. Such stolen sexual acts could be so addictive. Please save your elder sister's marriage.
You are as ugly as your comments! Monkey banana
DeleteI'll suggest u kindly read her story again. Giving birth abroad was not in the picture when he started acting up. Her only fault here was that she wasn't strong willed enough to avoid being manipulated. She decoded his act that's why she wasn't excited about taking him home to mama. Thank you
Delete" in Nigeria we give the child the father's name so comply" .. This is the make ego thing we talk about every day! Who u dey give order for here? U no well? In many places in Nigeria , once they man never show face or pay anything, na the woman family get pikin! U dey yarn nonsense
Delete@1 give ur child his fathers last name else they feel you are not really sure the baby is his. To avoid instances of him going to pregnate his own sister somewere else in the future. I pray your bf comes around to do the right thing if not make yourself and child happy and move on. Thank God you are sound financially . @P2. Confront your younger sister to get the truth I pray she tells you. If you find out that your BIL is coming on to her then you should stop spending the night in your elder sisters house.then warn your younger sister on the dangers of having anything to do with ur BIL
ReplyDeleteNothing of that nature will happen! U ppl should stop being faster than ure shadows! No where in her write up did she say she would deny her child access to the father's family! Stop assuming!
DeleteWhy do most of the BVs always comments without thinking that there are 2 sides to a story. Poster 1 sounds like someone with a stubborn personality! She has twisted the story to make the guy look like a psycho meanwhile it appears there is always a problem when things dont go her way.
ReplyDeleteSwallow your pride for once and think of a solution- giving your baby your great grandfather's name does not solve anything
Your head dey there
DeleteSincerely I feel there is more to Poster one's story. Sometimes it's really not advisable to judge from just one party .I wish her safe delivery.
DeleteIf to say the boyfriend na 2face, Adenuga, Dangote she for no dey make this nonsence mouth.. she for cool like pure water.she get moni pass the guy.. yeye dey smell
Delete15:22, :* :* there is more! I told a man this story, he laughed and said, that is her problem. People urging her on forgets that the man is not impotent! He can pregnant another woman and the child will bear his name! Most of you talking, will abuse her if it was your own brother.Hypocrites! Mschewww
DeletePoster 1: you left out some truths. I really think you should give the baby his surname, do not deprive him of his right regardless of what has happened BTW you&his father. Poster 2: talk to your kid sis,perhaps She's been forced against her will?
ReplyDelete@poster 2, I don't know if your mother is around you guys and how close you are. I think it's a thing you should sit ur mum and younger sister down and discuss the issue. This should be done in d absence of ur elder sister, let her see reasons why it is all shades of wrong to have an affair with her sister's horseband.
ReplyDelete@poster 1, you will have a safe delivery IJN. Don't be in haste to make decisions u might later regret. Let ur child know his/her root, so that siblings won't marry each other in the future. God bless u.
Tell ur older sister o! If I was ur older sis and u keep such secret from me and I get to find out, I will never forgive u.
ReplyDeleteposter1... give d child whatever name u choose jo! Na u born am
@ poster 1 I guess u are an igbo person to v had dis thought. Well just gv ur baby his/ her father's name. Reward is not in d earth but heaven if u didn't think of any circumstance $ had adhere to abstainace u wouldn't v gotten into mess like dis. Think deep before any decision reached. Safe delivery is urs by His name. Poster 2 try to get ur fact correct before u imagine anything don't be paranoid. Is an assignment u need to finish but be very careful??????
ReplyDeleteThe heavens hv nothing to do in this matter pls! Shut it!
DeletePoster 1 you are on the right track nothing like taking it too far....when your baby daddy is ready to act like a man and take up his responsibilities only then can your baby bear his name
ReplyDeletePoster 2 talk to your younger sis and see if she'll open up to you about what's going on between her and your brother in law then you can take it up from there
People can only advise you. Do exactly what your mind tells you to, which I'm sure you already know. GBAM!
ReplyDelete@Poster 1, I agree with you o. The father and his family are obviously not interested in living up to their responsibilities so why try to please them. Being a father is a lot more than planting a seed. Please your grand father's name is quite fine.
ReplyDelete@Poster 2: Hint your elder Sis about what you found out..state it the way you saw it and then confront your sister in the presence of your elder Sis. Better still, show your Sis your post on the blog and ask her what she would do in such a situation, after listening to her answer, let her know you sent the story in and it's about her but you want her to handle the matter in a mature manner.
Poster 1... Do not give the baby the fathers name till he does the right thing. If you are in America, you can always change the baby's name if the guy becomes responsible. Its no big deal. I did it or my son. In my case his fathers name was not even on the birth certificate. After our marriage i filled a form and sent it to cook county and his birth certificate was updated. Its not expensive... The guy needs to know that being a father is about being responsible!
ReplyDeleteDear Poster 1, please give your child your family name. As far as I can see, it is you and your family that will help raise your child. The sperm donor has only given you frustration, not only that, he did not even want the child alive, didn't he ask you to abort? So please, give the child your family name. The child belongs to you and your family. Your ex has only provided genetic material, which you can also get from a sperm bank. Do those sperm donors get to have the child carry their last name?
ReplyDeleteSafe delivery dear and may God bless your child with infinite wisdom, beauty and maturity, may He give you all the physical, emotional and spiritual resources you need to raise your child. Amen.
GBAM!
DeleteBV#1 That's when trouble started. How many times will trouble start? You never see trouble yet.
ReplyDeletePOSTER ONE; first thing first, repent of your fornication. Kudos for not killing that innocent blood. God be with you. Name your child as you wish but bear no grudge against anyone; not even his "dad"; yes "dad" in quote. Close your legs and heart to fornication and it will be well with you.
ReplyDeleteHB
Poster 1...Go ahead and name your baby your grandpa's name
ReplyDeletePoster2....So u don't have hand to SLAP SENSE INTO YOUR YOUNGER SISTER'S HEAD ABII...OK
By the way your elder sis must not hear bout it, I believe you don't want her to die of heartattack
Poster 1: Except if your bf's surname is Dangote, Adenuga or Alakija, if it aint any of these names, biko give ur baby your father's name. Does his surname move mountains? A man who is aware you are carrying his child and could ignore you since Nov without a dime, not even ordinary concern is not fit to be tagged a father.
ReplyDeleteBeing a father is not about popping sperm into a lady, fatherhood is in attitude.
If the baby grows and decided to pitch with his/her father, fine' there is a lil' something called 'change of name'.
There he was, pretending to love you and wanting to meet everyone in your life but when the real deal shows up, he ran with his tiny little tail inbtw his wobbling legs.
Ndi aruruala n'acho onye ha ga araputa.
Poster2: call your kid sister and ask her to explain her self or else you will tell ur big sis. I really don't think you should run off to ur big sis until you have sorted it with ur kid sis. Reason is, they could deny it. Let you kid sis know that you saw everything, she will open up to you and if it is something you can settle with her, then do please. Threaten her and make her severe the relationship, it will save ur big sis the pain that comes with betrayal.
This world sef, kid sis with big sis husband under her own roof, na wa oo.
Poster 1: pls give your baby your dad's name and move on with life after your delivery. Safe delivery.
ReplyDeletePoster 2- your lil sis is a bitch and a back stabber and prolly full of jealousy. She's a snake.
Sighs deeply**
ReplyDeleteIm real troubled, so Ill just read comments.
P1:A good thing you are capable and you have done the calculation to know the end result of what it will look like before getting pregnant for this guy....a lady know what to do by allowing sperm stays in her after sex and the one she should not, you want this pregnancy more than the guy do according to you not getting pregnant till 29 and not taking precaution after sex,error number one and for whatever reason using pregnancy to trap the guy that seems not to be ready for marriage is error number two, all the same mistake done . For the Love of Christ to conceive ,let the baby bear the Fathers name, you onced loved him and everytime you see him ,you see the father. .Move on with your life.He will come around to make amends.
ReplyDeleteP2:so much destruction in marriage all in the name of visitors,strange and wicked soul people bring into their home. please call your mum and let her know,delay is dangerous.
Can we now see why it's good for a woman to be financially buoyant, before thinking of having a man in her life? Yes! Because anything can happen.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 - if I were u I would do same.
Poster 2- find a way to drop hints. Place a call and send texts asking your sister to be more vigilant when the younger sister comes around. If they both read this blog they may change tactics. But 9 days for the thief!
#1: Give the child his or her father's name. No one wants to be a bastard. If he wants to be involved in the child's life, good, if not, move on with your life. Taking in before marriage is dicey. Some men use introduction as a deceit. In some cases, some have good intention initially but when they begin to see things they don't like about the woman, they may want to opt out.
ReplyDelete#2: Your younger sister must stop going to that house now! It is either the man is still wooing her or they have been banging. Whatever it is, she must leave that house now! Rose
Pls how does giving a child their grandparents name mk them a bastard? # confusedface
DeleteStella dis is one of d very few times dt I dnt agree with u @poster 1 pls d child shd bear ur family name, simple and short. @poster2 speak to ur younger sister, ask her wat exactly is going on, she just might open up to u, and make sure she puts an end to d nonsense immediately
ReplyDeletePls click my name for ur desserts and cocktails.
#1, I know all parties involved are angry and if we decide to hear from all sides, every body will have a valid reason for their reactions. Please Poster, calm down and hear me out why I ask some questions:
ReplyDelete.1) Do the father of your child has accommodation problem or lives in a different state from you? I ask because why will he ask you to stay with his parents? Which I don't support.
2) Please, I didn't get it clear on the dowry and introduction items: Have his parents paid your dowry or brought all the introduction things to your parents? I ask because, I don't know why he will ask you to move in with his parents if the right thing has not yet be done?
Nevertheless, I beseech you to do the rightful thing and give your child his father' s surname. I understand you are angry right now, but anger dissipate after a while and the consequences of our action will be staring at us and regrets will set in. You said, the child's grandmother is or was your paddy, she made sure her son did the right thing and begged you not to abort, don't you think the family don't deserve such disrespect from you regarding their grandchild? Please let go of your anger. Your child deserves to know his root. I wish you save delivery in Jesus name.
#2, Confront your sister and tell your mum so as to put fear in her, and your mum will tell your father, who will summon your BIL and warn him sternly! Your oldest sister must not hear of it. After that, be careful around both of them. Beat of luck.
Nitty.
www.thenitty-gritty.com
No body said the child wouldn't get to know his root.. We are simply saying that at the moment, he has no father! Since the sperm donor won't man up! When he comes back to his senses , things can be adjusted for his sake..
Delete#1, I know all parties involved are angry and if we decide to hear from all sides, every body will have a valid reason for their reactions. Please Poster, calm down and hear me out why I ask some questions:
ReplyDelete.1) Do the father of your child has accommodation problem or lives in a different state from you? I ask because why will he ask you to stay with his parents? Which I don't support.
2) Please, I didn't get it clear on the dowry and introduction items: Have his parents paid your dowry or brought all the introduction things to your parents? I ask because, I don't know why he will ask you to move in with his parents if the right thing has not yet be done?
Nevertheless, I beseech you to do the rightful thing and give your child his father' s surname. I understand you are angry right now, but anger dissipate after a while and the consequences of our action will be staring at us and regrets will set in. You said, the child's grandmother is or was your paddy, she made sure her son did the right thing and begged you not to abort, don't you think the family don't deserve such disrespect from you regarding their grandchild? Please let go of your anger. Your child deserves to know his root. I wish you save delivery in Jesus name.
#2, Confront your sister and tell your mum so as to put fear in her, and your mum will tell your father, who will summon your BIL and warn him sternly! Your oldest sister must not hear of it. After that, be careful around both of them. Beat of luck.
Nitty.
www.thenitty-gritty.com
my dear, give ur baby his name and just ignore them. am in this same situation and am living my life peacefully.
ReplyDeleteHmm...poster 2,call ur younger sis n ask her wat's goin on btw her n ur broda in-law. If she confides in u,u both shld approach ur elder sis n tell her wat her hubby is up 2,tell her wat u saw her hubby doing which prompted u 2 ask ur younger sis,wat was goin on btw dem.
ReplyDeleteBeen on d recievin end before n my younger sis confided in me dat hubby was up 2 no good. Nnem I started watchin him lik a hawk,2 catch him in d act.
#1 pls relax n gv birth first, u can gv ur child any name u deem fit cos u are not married to the father. For all I kn frm wia I come, any child born out of wedlock bears the maternal name.
ReplyDelete#2 pls talk to ur younger sis, she is just a wicked sis. Talk to ur parent too, let her Stop going there before he pregnant her n it will be a ShM to ur family.
Ur parent sh talk to him too for him to kn that they are now awear of his actions.
#evilsistereverywhere
Poster 1
ReplyDeleteStella sis I disagree. I am not ure where she is from, but in Igbo land, unless a man pays dowry, ANY child born, belongs to the girl's family and shouldnt answer his name! KPOM KWEM!
It doesnt deny that he is the biological father, but shows that he hasnt done what he needs to do as a man.
Name can always be changed later, or if the child grows up and decides to change the name!
@ Narrative no 2, call ur younger sister and hv a serious interrogative session with her. Make her feel as though u caught her, give her stern warning not to try it again or ur Elder sis wld hear about it. Once had a frnd whose younger sister was having an affair with her boyfriend and I can tell u dat until 2moro the vibe btwn dem is very bad. You can tell mummy but not ur elder sis for now. Wish ur family all the best!!!
ReplyDeletePls let the child bear ur name cux he hasn't paied ur bride price yet. P2 ask ur kid sis what going on between dem both
ReplyDeleteNarrative 1: i know how u feel as i was in a similar situation too...the truth is that he is taking everything in unexpectedly, he is probably the kind of guy that likes to follow procedures like my guy, in the sense that proposal, marriage, baby....he probably still loves u becos he has met ur parents at least. He will come around don't worry. What ever you do please give your child his/her fathers name, because in the future when you reconcile u may regret u did not do so... Above all pray to God and leave it in his hands...xoxo ...P.S. when u make up please collect ya money back oooo
ReplyDeleteWait oh! What kind of two adults pokes each other and can't use COMMON CONDOM..as in just common #100 commont.WTF? I'm so annoyed right now.For how long wl stuffs like this keep happening?Can't u ppl just learn from other people's mistake?I don't just get it.Or is there a kind of special award given to ladies who end up as Baby mamas?Please guys,let's grow up.
ReplyDeleteA lady at 29 hv sex,could not use Condom,also failed to use morning after pills afterwards.What do u think i wl think?That u trap him wid preg of course.Pls,don'tgv that usual silly excuse that u forgot.U really got him.I'm sorry if i sound harsh.I am not a sentimental/subjective person.See,a guy may love u heaven on earth and really want to settle down with you but are afraid of pregnancy.MARRIED MEN INCLUDED.Men don't hate children but are scared and WL CHANGE ATTITUDE when such happen UNPLANNED..Some wl change later,be positive,apologise and settle wid d lady while some wl just use that as an avenue to display their animalistic nature.
I am not taking side wid the guy however i must let u all know that that guy wl definitely be unhappy,betrayed and confused.Moreover his reputation has be tampered wid.But what do sentimental Stella Dimoko Blog Visitors care?NAME of a baby!!! As in,is this suppose to be an issue or getting ur life back.
The guy is a disgrace to manhood.How can u be poking a woman u hv not paid her bride price?You're cheapening her worth.You don't hv respect for her body,ur body and God.And that without a Condom!haba! You just release inside her yàkàta and be expecting God of wonders to turn ur stinky sperm inside her to jeep or Òmòlanke.Agbaya!
Even this lady self,i just can't spot any iota of remorse for getting pregnant out of wedlock.And the guy,man or boy is just an irresponsible son of b*****
The only thing i can tell u is to move on with life and that u must strive to do with little or no bitterness.Because good men/guys are still many out there.All men are not d same and wl never be the same.
Please guys,can we for once live responsible.....with a condom or nothing at all.Sex is not food.
I hate stories like this.It annoys my spirit.
OLA BOB
Ola Bob. All this ur rant was just stupid and baseless. Like u are saying why have sex with someone u haven't paid brideprice for and still ending ur statement with that pple should use condoms. U sound pretty confused. U are acting all self righteous here. I am sure ur a monkey in real life.
DeleteP1 : speak with him regarding the level of involvement he wants with his child. i see nothing wrong in refusing to move in with his parents when he has not married you. put his name as father of the child on the birth cert but give whatever name and surname you desire.
ReplyDeleteP2: don't say anything to your older sister yet but have a word with your sis make it seem like you are sure and only what her to confess.Then tell your mum . I pray his doesn't break your close relationship
Poster 1.safe delivery on your baby,the child can answer your name or his dad's name I know you are upset right.but it's the truth. Poster2 pls you better clear your sister that u saw what happen and such thing should not repeat it self
ReplyDeletePoster 1, from where I come from, A child must and must and again must bear the father's name irrespective of the situation surrounding his/her birth.Its good you kept your baby, afterall I hear people say a child is all you have even if you have everything.I bet the man would turn around soon, just pray.Dont worry,things would work out fine and this would pass.please try not to get pregnant next time till you're married. Makes life a whole lot easier.
ReplyDeletePoster1,pls focus ur energy on giving birth first. Poster2 u r really in some serious gobe but silence is golden oooo
ReplyDelete@poster 1 pls do what ur mind says that is give the child your grandfather's name..... I know someone that has gone through wat u r going through and she gave the child the father's name andbshe now regrets it terribly cos she bares all d responsibility And before she cud do certain things for the child Abroad she needs the father's consent which means she has to relive the Pain every time she sees the guy.....so my dear GIVE THE CHILD YOUR NAME..... Don't worry God will take care of u and d child....when the child comes back to naija u will see that the guy wud tell people he sponsored you abroad..
ReplyDeleteu rather third story I've heard and it is the exact same pattern including the moms!
When u get married u marry not only ur hubby but also his family......... Do u wanna mingle with them......if your family supports u then u have all d support u can get....
all the best dear
Poster 1
ReplyDeleteThis is a sensitive matter which should be discussed among your family members. What is your parents' opinion on this? Please think very well because this is about your baby's future and sense of identity.
Also remember that 'tomorrow is pregnant', anything can happen. The father may have a change of heart and want to be involved in your child's life. It's very possible. I imagine him asking to see the baby after he's heard you've given birth, and you know that a baby's face can melt the hardest of hearts.
You may give him both names for now, dunno if that makes sense and then strike one out later as necessity demands. Anyways, talk with ur family and keep
praying that God will touch ur ex's heart to accept his child, even if you both are no longer together.
Goodluck
Ehn when him don look the baby face finish and him heart come change.. Them go do change of name ( which he must pay for) for now, since he is acting insane.. It's a no no
DeletePoster 2
ReplyDeleteYou are a time waster o.
If it was me, I would have been the next person standing over her as she's waking up in the morning saying, what was that all about coz I saw you.
Please confront her before more damage is done.
This is the issue these days with most women look at most of them giving you advice yet they would be as submissive as anything if they were in your shoes...poster 1 truth is its clear that you seem a lil stubborn and thats ok but they disagreed with you having the child overseas yet you went ahead ,you are not married into the family yet and i guess they see that already as a sign of trouble if i were you i would have had the child in nigeria its not a big deal especially since he and his family adviced against it.
ReplyDelete@Poster 1
ReplyDeleteFrom ur narrative, its obvious u have TRUST issues in ur relationship "having other guys blah, blah". My guess is that he thinks u want 2 pin him down with a baby that isn't his...and thats the story he's holding on to.
Thank God u can care for urself and the unborn child. As a bv said, try getting him involved in the naming call him 2 name his child not that u wnt 2 saddle him with the responsibility jst that the child is his evn if he needs a dna as a proof.... If you want the relationship to continue, then ur guy has to work on his insecurity nd you quit been stubborn.... My 2 cents.
Ciao
@Poster 1
ReplyDeleteFrom ur narrative, its obvious u have TRUST issues in ur relationship "having other guys blah, blah". My guess is that he thinks u want 2 pin him down with a baby that isn't his...and thats the story he's holding on to.
Thank God u can care for urself and the unborn child. As a bv said, try getting him involved in the naming call him 2 name his child not that u wnt 2 saddle him with the responsibility jst that the child is his evn if he needs a dna as a proof.... If you want the relationship to continue, then ur guy has to work on his insecurity nd you quit been stubborn.... My 2 cents.
Ciao
@ Anon 0:20,i know you must be a trouble maker for cussing me.You even called me a monkey.What did i do to u to warrant such magnitude of hatred?
ReplyDeleteIf u hv problem wid my comment,just correct me pls without cyber bullying attitude.I hv chose not 2 abuse u in return so u can harvest ur basket of curses and problems in due time.You wl pay for ur words.
OLA BOB
@Anon 11:59 ..... Why should she stay with his parents? How does that show humility..wake up, it's 2015!!!...
ReplyDeleteYou are the type that wants a woman to bring her salary to you so that she will humility, your mother will tell you the school your children should go, how much to drop for upkeep etc...it s God that saved this lady from an insecure man...nothing that ruins a relationship as an insecure, irresponsible man...
Thank God she has the wherewithal to take care of things otherwise BVs would probably have been contributing baby things by now...
Hey guys pls check out helentas.blogspot.com and u will be intrigued
ReplyDeleteP1 after all said to you by bv's and people in your life you will do what your heart tells you. Don't sweat it have your baby first and trust me when it's time to name that child and register its birth not a darn thing anyone has said will make a difference because you will know exactly what to do. Why do people over think issues? Have you had the baby yet? Do you know what the state of affairs will be be you and the father at that time? If you need something to stress about then focus on again free delivery and a healthy baby instead of putting the cart before the horse.
ReplyDeleteP2 you sef dey guilty by association if you need advise on what to do here. Seems like some people just write in for the sake of it not that they don't already know what the right thing to do is!