Saturday In House Gists.

Hilarious gists to make your day today!...HILARIOUS but todays winners will get a handshake for winning....Thanks.

GIST ONE..

Hi Stella and my fellow "befees"

I have this gist which is more of an embarrassing moment.

Last Friday, there was this party I was invited to by a friend, it was a birthday bash. I decided to go so I could forget my sorrows and maybe, get a chance to meet an handsome dude who would sweep me off my feet. I quickly took my daughter to my godmother's place and lied that I have a night vigil to attend. I came home to my friend, she supervised my dressing  as she came with some clothes and accessories to help my ministry. 

I ended up wearing a very tight fitting jean trousers and a sleeveless crop top, a good wig, jewellery and a black heeled  sandals, did I mention that I did not wear panties? Yes! this bad girl advised that I go without panties so that my bum can shake very well while dancing or walking, she also said its better for only my waistline to be visible at the back while I sit instead of some panties .

Well, I loved what I saw in the mirror and I was feeling on top of the world.

 We had barely left the neighbourhood when I sensed trouble but my stupid self did not take action, the jeans was so tight that I could barely walk. I stubbornly proceeded to the party. While there, I could barely dance as my feet were almost bleeding from tight shoes asides the jean, my jean felt like it would burst open any moment. I sat at a corner leaking my wounds when this handsome guy came and sat beside me, we chatted for sometime and then a call entered my phone, it was my godmother calling me, the one I kept my daughter with. 

I quickly stood up to go receive the call outside because of the loud noise inside, I mistakenly tripped on this guy's leg and fell flat on the floor, while on the floor, I felt the AC on my kpekus, ass hole and bum, very cool breeze. That was when I knew the worst had happened; my tight fitting jean had tore from the middle (kpekus area) up to the waist band at the back and I was 'pantless'.

Chai!

I just remained on the floor and pretended like I had fainted, guy man removed his jacket and covered my bare bum and called for water, after they poured a bucket of ice water on my head, I opened my eyes. I quickly asked to be taken home. This fine guy just stopped a cab and paid the driver to drop me and my friend in front of our house. 

I was so pained, this guy did not even take my contact and shame did not allow me to ask for his. That was how my outing was ruined....

Hahahahahahahhahahahahha

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GIST TWO

Don’t know the right word for it in English, but there is this thing I do a lot; if am woken up suddenly, its takes me time to fully “coordinate” and in that time interval, well I can “jounce a lot”.

Now this incident happened back in the day when I was a student, I had already gone to bed when suddenly I had my rommie screaming my name and shaking me to wake up. “Maureen, Maureen fire fire! Na so I jump up from bed, rush wardrobe, jack my first box of cloth (so they said) and started running towards the gate. 

I dropped that one(eye never still clear), rushed inside and took the second one, halfway through the gate I felt someone grab me and held me tight, that was when I started waking up fully, I could hear people laughing. My rommie dey ground they laugh me.

Turned out one the girls leaving next door, accidentally kicked over their candle stand and their curtain caught fire (it wasn’t even serious), in the normal girls panicky way she started screaming and trying to put it out, that woke up my rommie and she being a good rommie decided to wake her rommie too and I decided to display for everybody in our lodge.

The funniest part was them describing me running with my box of cloths. One said I looked like that picture of the mallam in Cyprian ekwensi’s Burning Grass that suffers from wandering disease, he said the way the breeze was catching his agbada in the pictures was same way my night robe was flying as I run my race of life to save my box of cloths, hell, the thing no even carry me go where my credentials dey!.

Never heard the end of that episode till I left that lodge.

LMAO this really cracked me up.them for leave you make you empty room sef

*Shaking the winner*