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Saturday, October 20, 2018

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmmmm.....






STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?



Hi Stella,


I will appreciate if this can be posted in the chronicles section of your blog.

I'm 38 with 3 kids, been married for 9 years.

This is about myself and my husband.


I have had to deal with physical abuse twice in this marriage. After the last one, my brother stepped in and gave him a serious warning that if he tries it again, he will make sure he's properly dealt with.


Instead of physical abuse now, he has chosen emotional abuse. We had a minor agreement ( I got home 30mins late) and he rejected food. I begged but he wouldn't listen and note that, it wasn't any heated argument. This was in July(3months ago), he has moved out of the house, wouldn't talk to me. He comes home rarely and even when he does, he sleeps in the guest room.


This is getting to me emotionally and it seems depression is setting in. There is nobody to report him to as he wouldn't even listen to them. I don't think I'm ready to go begging in the name of "stoop to conquer"(it's tiring).


I didn't see all these while dating oh. Not even a sign.

I feel like running away and leaving the kids till I get a place? Just run away without saying a word to him.

Please if you were in my shoes, what will you do?





*You need to be strong my dear...looks like you are now married but single...The next time he comes home,have a heart to heart talk with him and find out how things can be resolved and if not then ignore him and move on...when he is tired he will come around...........thing is,what will be,will be!!!
I dont know how some men can allow childish behaviour ruin their homes...If you are no longer interested in the Marriage,ask for a divorce instead this nonsense of living with a woman and suffering her emotionally.

110 comments:

  1. Lack of communication is what I see here. If he comes around, try your best to communicate appropriately. I for one would not beg a man to eat oh. If I present food and you refuse, I would eat and pack the remaining up. Let's not encourage these bad behaviours of men. NNE, you need to pray too. Hmmm

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most times my.hubby rejects good wen we have issue and it gets to.me so I always beg. But for the first time just about 5 days ago, I served his food and he refused to eat. I locked up...didn beg (but I was dying inside) he left that food and I disposed it the next monin. The next night, I served his food again and he told me he's not eating. I told him blatantly I won't beg him to eat...if he's not eating, he shd leave it. He didn eat it. And I disposed it again. He came back yesday and I was making his food. He came to the kitchen and said "if I don't say sorry, he won't eat still" so I told him then he's not hungry. I served the food and he ate. I'm glad I toughened up finally

      Delete
    2. CONGRATULATIONS 16.01. Next time he won't refuse the food.

      Delete
    3. Stella please what do you mean by trivial issue, she said she came home 30mins late, she dint have a control of that, she even apologized so what man gives his wife a curfew like it’s always within her control? This man sounds fed up, three whole months for being 30mins late, the days he doesn’t come home did anyone carry face for him? She’s even been begging, what else does he want.
      Poster, try and talk to him if not, face your front, but also know that this could be the end of this marriage, and it’s not your fault, he was just looking for an excuse, and that’s also above your control.
      Women please recognize when your partner isn’t interested anymore and give them space until they say what is wrong, you dint create them, neither did you give birth to them, don’t be (totally) emotionally involved in your hubby or else you will not know how to move on and be strong

      Delete
    4. See this woman above, that’s how my friend has been begging her hubby, every time asking him what is wrong he will now be carrying face even when it’s not her fault o, she boned him and he decided to open up by himself, better be strong in marriage cus most men are like babies looking for who to pet them like you are not human too

      Delete
    5. My dear, with men i have learnt to ignore them especially when they are doing all their gymnastic. When they notice you are worried about them they would be doing you anyhow but once you are taking care of your self they will calm down for you. For the past one month my hubby moved to the childrens room. Initially i was begging but after a week i learnt sense. I went to register in a 6k gym around my house and he knows the kind of guys that goes to that gym. I bought my nice gym wear and i have been going to the gym morning and evening. I send my house keeper to serve his food if he really wants to eat and i spend my time really blogs and laughing loud. Yesterday morning, i got to the gym and 30minutes later he also walked in to register. I pretended as if i didnt know him. Today morning he was the one who came to wake me up that we should go to the gym. He has stylishly moved his things back into the room.

      Poster your happiness matters first

      Delete
    6. 17'47 yo head get oil

      Delete
    7. Anon 17:47 🙌🙋 love the method you applied, a very effective way to seamlessly reset his brain.

      Delete
    8. My dear the secret to dealing with yeye men is ACTING like you don't care!!!

      It ALWAYS adjusts them.

      But be wise in doing that. Some devlish ladies use it as opportunity to try to take what's yours.

      Men feed on your fears and insecurities. You must be FEARLESS and BOLD (in a respectful way) while dealing with them if you want to be happy...

      Delete
    9. I love this chronicle die . Am so happy to know that what I got to learn about handling my husband's excesses late in my marriage is the real deal.
      Young ladies fall in here and take a cue. We must not succumb to emotional blackmail.

      Delete
    10. Lemme borrow space here. Poster, ooooooo, u dey miss sha! Stop it already, chain, see as dis tin dey pain me. My dear, give him plenty space, make him jealous as in beta lux chopibg, chop joy join self, who cares...... Like u did not learn paragraph in skul or spacing. Care less, no see d baga, he knows u care abt him d reason for all dis. Just make sure u a working & can takia of ursef. I swear u no get problem at all. Pls follow d advises up dere.......

      Delete
    11. i like that woman wey register for gym. hahahahaah

      Delete
  2. You are begging him to eat..?
    Haaahahaaaha .. M sorry I laughed
    Make he no chop na , hungry no catch am ni .. Mstcheew .. Oshiratamarayo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe u are not married nor in a relationship...D attitude of a spouse should of a concern to d party.
      If u cook for d person u truly love and d person refused d food, u should be worried and beg if need be
      Relationship and marriage is not about competition, pride nor ego.
      Their is no winner nor loser over an argument in any marriage.

      Delete
    2. @mama nnuku
      I can just imagine him sulking with his thumb stuffed in his mouth nwann...nwaaaaaa...nwaaaan I'm not iiiiitin.

      Me beg someone to eat?
      Have I finished begging myself to eat.
      You will fucking die with your hunger. Nauseating creep.
      Tata.
      All these little children you women are enabling... This is the result of the trash you are enabling.
      Me, I been in the same house with someone and not spoken for YEARS.
      When you think you are doing me, I will fold you and put you on your own head like oshuka.
      Let that fool come and say he wants to sulk and keep malice.
      He will die from pure silence.
      Too many children getting married these days.

      Delete
    3. Anon 15:47 please since feeding an overgrown man child is synonymous to prideless uncompetitive love, come and help us cater for the poster’s husband and also beg him on her behalf.

      In fact you can start a business feeding and begging misbehaving spouses. Don’t forget to send your business advert to Stella for Monday in-house news. Good luck!

      Delete
    4. 😂😂😂🤣🤣 You people wee not kee somebody. Start business feeding and begging misbehaving spouses 😂😂😂

      Delete
  3. I will not jump into conclusion with this one sided story.
    Even your words gave you up. Instead of settling things with your husband, you brought your brother to threaten him. A third party in any marriage is a bad deal any day.

    If you do not want to stoop to conquer, you are definitely going to go down. The man is probably forking away somewhere . . .(wrong of course), but he is also probably avoiding a "nagging woman" at home by going to the "desert".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'Settling'??? So it was okay that he beat her up?? Haba anon. He's lucky its her brother she brought sef. Please Dont encourage domestic violence

      Delete
    2. Bullshit! You guys are stupid! So beating her up is no big deal abi? The day my husband will lay his fingers, I won’t even call only my brother to smash his head, but police will follow immediately and lock his dry ass in jail. What nonsense! You guys keep making excuses for grown men. He feels emasculated my fresh bum. So pissed at your statement.

      Delete
    3. Omeg don’t mind the silly anon. See how it has twisted the whole thing to blame the woman. No wonder some women would rather suffer in silence.

      Poster I guess your husband knows that he is hurting you and wants to break your spirit so he will always have you wrapped around his finger.

      I don’t know how strong your support system is but I guess you should drop the house keys and go take a break somewhere with the kids. Whatever you plan to do don’t leave your kids out.

      If you can’t go somewhere for the time being, then it’s time to stop acting like you care. Be cheerful, always keep busy and stop putting food out for him. Leave his laundry undone, don’t clean the guest room too. Treat him like he is invisible and see how he’ll try to get your attention.

      Delete
    4. Anon 15.06 you sound stupid, I'm sure you have read the chronicle but you can't comprehend. Please do yourself a favour, when people comment just observe abeg

      Delete
    5. Anon15:06,fear of people like you make the gullible to die via domestic violence, you called her brother third party but if the man beat her to death,people like you will join the husband to beg the wife family to settle out of Court. Madam relax your mind,take care of your children, if he comes back to his sense good, why will you run away because of him?please make yourself strong, if you're at home &he leaves for months, you shd use those period to build you self esteem. Don't make marriage look like battlefield.

      Delete
    6. Anonymous 15:06,How is she supposed to settle with a man beating her?

      Delete
    7. You are a fool @anon 15:06.

      He had the right to beat her up but her brother didn't have the right to protect his sister from DV. Ewu!

      Delete
    8. Poster, go with Ivannah's comment.

      Delete
    9. So her brother should have allow him to beat the woman to death before intervening?
      The woman should continue to collect beating Abi?

      Delete
    10. I don’t think I have insulted anyone on this blog but you are very stupid, so she should die in silence because she got married, she needed to remind her hubby she has a family that cares about that, if that’s the reason why he wunt eat her food then he is a devil and so are you. If his sister was being treated the same way will he be happy? I don’t now what kind of marriage people are marrying these days. This man obviously doesn’t love his wife, please what does the Bible define love to be, go and read it, I send it as a text to my hubby once a week, so it will register in his head. How can a man be so selfish, I pity you and I know you are a man, better change

      Delete
    11. See all these "ndi Pharisee" lining under the anony post attacking her like she snatched una husbands. It is as you make your beds, you lie on it. You can't cage a man to do your bidding. Beating a woman is WRONG/CRIMINALLY WRONG. But it does not always start with beating, it starts with quarrels, warnings, then before the blows starts landing for a "defeated man". But if the woman is wise, it is at the level of quarreling that she tackles things wisely. But what do most women do, they begin to run their mouths, deny him sex . . . of course, the poster won't tell us all that. Now the man is staying away and eating food cooked by another woman and who is getting depressed and sending in a chronicle?
      We ladies ought to be wise, we always get the shorter end of the marriage stick especially in Nigeria. We ought to manage that shorter end of the stick well.

      Delete
    12. 18'30 aka 15'06 say No to DV and stop commenting when those that have brain comment

      Delete
    13. This anon 18:30, you are so biased about women, u will never have peace until you change your ways. Am sure that's how your father maltreated your mother. Men like you never sees any good in women, you are now assuming, supporting evil, even if she was wrong is that how a mature christian family head is meant to treat his wife?? better know that bible calls women weaker vessels. so treat them as such. mtchewwwww

      Delete
    14. 18:30 you are too daft for a reasonable person to engage with.
      Seriously.

      Delete
    15. Hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
      See ehh, all of you who wrote up there are going to get it so tough in marriage. I just opened this post again now and I couldn't believe the trail. Waooo!
      Nigerians will not ever cease to amaze me. Your laws have very little protection for the abused woman in terms of domestic violence yet you will not learn. The man has stopped beating her; hasn't he? So why the chronicle? You see, there are so many ways to kill a rat. Most of you are too young and inexperienced. I have learnt NEVER to believe a one sided story when it comes to issues between spouses.

      My neighbor deceived everybody that her husband was beating her. She inflicted wounds on her body and took pictures/video and called the cops. It was when the cops wanted to take the husband away that one of the kids, a boy of probably six to seven years held the cop and told him that it was mommy that beat daddy and that if they lift daddy's shirt they will see the bite marks on his back. The police did and before you know what was happening, the handcuffs changed hands to the woman's.

      When ladies come here crying, they are probably looking for pity party goers like you all. If this woman is humble enough and still wants to remain married to this man, she should come down from her high horse and make peace with him. The marriage could be worked out. If not, why die of depression in silence?

      Delete
    16. Anon 20:50 I have been married for over 5years and I’ve been a happier woman since I got married. That’s why I have the confidence to air my opinion on issues like these.

      If you are in a sad and frustrating marriage please don’t generalize. Humility you say? More like slave you mean. It’s people with your mindset and sad sad mode of reasoning that encourage men to maltreat women and women to accept maltreatment. GTFOH!

      Delete
    17. She should settle domestic abuse amicably????
      If you are a woman, you are a disgrace. If you are a man, you are a mistake. Oniranu!

      Delete

    18. @Ivannah
      You can make your point without using cuss words. If you have been happily married for five years, you won't be using expletives; would you? I even used the word "CRIMINALLY WRONG" in describing those that maltreat us women but you chose what to understand. The war has raged, we are talking about ways to end it here; dialogue. If the lady is not ready to initiate dialogue, then depression is staring her to the face. And when it progresses, it could be suicide. And sorry to disappoint you, I am not in a "bad marriage'.
      @Chikito Prof. runs girl
      So why did she write a chronicle; what was she looking for, is it not to mend her marriage?
      If not why is she still in the marriage getting depressed? If you seek a piece of advice and don't get what you want to hear, deal with it.
      If you do not love the truth, then don't seek advice. I said exactly what Stella wrote up there; have "a heart to heart talk" with him; is it too much?
      Fire for fire does not solve anything in marriage.
      @Anonymous 19:16 You have already coronated the poster "a christian?" When did she tell you about that? Whenever a guilty woman is cornered, she runs under the
      "weaker vessel" cover. When the going get's going, she chants "feminist". You don't seem to understand what marriage is all about. If you are not ready for sacrifices and compromises, forget about marrying.

      Delete
    19. Anon, you sound all over the place, give it up already.

      Delete
    20. Earth to grandma! Before you come here gnashing your dentures, who dragged who first? Didn’t you “foresee” we all were going to have oh so tough marriages? Called us Young and inexperienced? Called Chikito a runs girl? Now grandma is butt hurt. Lol.

      Because you brought it up, you should know that marriage brought out the true meaning of happiness in my life. My husband is amazing and with my past and all, he treats me like I’m the only girl in the world. Best believe that muthafucka!

      You on the other hand from all I can see may be happy in your head but check your tired heart sugar, it is being poisoned from all the toxic shit you’ve been eating in the name of compromise. Just hoping one day you won’t flat line while sacrificing and compromising.

      AND a little education, urban 101 teaches that cuss words apply to every situation. Be ye happy, sad, crazy, horny, hurt, excited at al. Now GTFOH with your HWS!

      Delete
  4. See as Stelly jump into conclusion like a professional Olympic diver.
    Women!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sometimes when a child is throwing tantrums you learn to ignore the child till the child understands that you will give them no attention .

    Ignore him, stop begging and cooking since he won't eat. I hope you have a job so you can take care of your own needs. When he is ready to be an adult then you can reason together

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abi oooooo,after 8years,she should be giving us logical patterns

      Delete
    2. Thank you oo. Beg man to eat say wetin?? When he's not I'll. Reminds me of when I was young, once I'm angry with my mum, I'd refuse to eat; omo by the time my mum started dealing with me silently ehn, nobody told me to drop that silly habit.
      Adults should have learnt to resolve their differences without sulking around like a pre-school kid. A lot of these men have issues with colleagues and bosses at work but don't sulk around, so why do they do it at home to their wives? Because the wives have enabled them for too long!!

      Delete
    3. Dainty T, I didn't even see your comment before I responded up there.

      Exactly my thoughts.

      Delete
  6. Chai, girl you fall hand bad bad. Why you come emasculate ya husband like this na? You bro wan beat am up, the man no feel like proper Naija head of the house again. Na survival strategy im dey play like that. Cool down before you catch BP.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So to feel like a proper naija HOH, you have to beat your wife and not have repercussions for it? Ok.

      Delete
    2. Stupid is as stupid does!!

      Delete
  7. Na e village people dey cause this stormy section in your home. Go three days dry fasting and let God fight your battle.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For real??😂😂😂😂

      Delete
  8. I know its hard but its time to toughen up. Stop begging for everything abeg. You came home 30 mins late and he rejected food,as per baby nau. That's how someone on another post said her husband kicked his food cos there was no ugwu leaf in it as a result of heavy rain. This type of men know exactly what they are doing,they break you down in your mind.
    Poster,im so sorry I digressed. I hope you have a job,face your kids and your job. Dont ever let him get to you emotionally again,now is the time to be Strong.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Dear Poster Don't Let Your Whoresban's Attitude Get The Best Of U Just Be Strong For Your Kids, I Think U Have Tried Ur Best To Pacify Him Yet He's Forming James Bond.
    Your Happiness And Kids Should Be Ur First Priority Now But Keep Praying For Him

    ReplyDelete
  10. Like Stella said, next time he comes around, have a heart to heart talk with him. Also try and discuss with h is family, at least for record purposes.

    If all these does not settle it, move on with your life. But when you move, move with your kids. Don't leave them behind. 'Were laa finn woo were (desperate situation deserves desperate measures). Move and do not look back.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Say no to DV , I don't care what the problem is, just don't touch him/her

    ReplyDelete
  12. People dt will comment should be careful rushing to conclusions and blame d husband....
    This is a one sided story.
    The man is angry, as a wife, she needs to do something that will make him talk to her and say d problem.
    This woman must have said something really bad to d man in d course of d argument, hence, d need for his reaction. A woman with 3 kids can not come home 30mins late and expects d husband to commend her.
    If his engagement resulted into argument, then something is wrong and something is going through his mind.... To me, it is a form of retaliation... "Let us be Kuku be staying out and be doing Wat we like"...
    This is a one sided story, we should be careful in judging.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You must be crazy. So coming home 30 minutes late is something to quarrel over? You and the man are one and the same

      Delete
    2. 15:35,which one is a woman with 3 kids shouldn't be late for 30min,you sound like an abuser,so because you have a child makes you perfect that traffic, situations, impromptu meetings can not stop.house wife even go for vacations,they go for visitation.abeg change your ideas about women.

      Delete
    3. As that omomoh that he is now...mtcheww.

      She did nothing joor,he's just angry her brother stood up for her and has been wait for opportunity to pay her back.

      You people should stop encouraging this childish behavior from men, please.

      I see reason why women in abusive marriage find it hard to leave, and if they don't leave it's still you lots that would shout "take a walk women"!

      Delete
    4. Anon 15:35, just 30 mins late and not 30 hours. The man has not say what is eating him up. And he must reject food to drive home his point?

      Delete
    5. A woman with 3 kids cannot come back 30 mins late??? You need help. Go back to the cave you crawled out of. I'm sure you've made your husband your alpha and omega if you're a woman. Shame on you.

      Delete
    6. 30 minutes lateness without proper communication can cause a lot of havoc in a relationship. I have seen a situation where toothpaste and soaps led to divorce.
      Just like u have called me crazy, without knowing you nor directed my comment at you, d lady too "maybe" said something wch necessitated d husband action.
      Let us have an open mind to d situation...
      According to her, problem started when she came home late, d husband accused her of coming home late and after that he didn't eat her food for 3 months now. Their is no story of infidelity, at least from her, so ds story is about "attitude and communication ".
      What is d meaning of "their is nobody to talk to cos he won't listen ",is she married to a god?
      A lot happened btw when she came late and when d food was prepared.
      Please, don't let us jump to conclusions in hast.

      Delete
    7. She need to do what? Cut her head and give him on a plate, hasn’t she done things, begging and begging like what I don’t know, if you beg someone and the person no gree Wetin you wan do again? You are evil simple

      Delete
    8. Please what do you mean by 30mins late abeg, does she have a curfew, so if there’s traffic beyond her control she should kill herself, I don’t have a curfew. This same man that doesn’t sleep in the house nawa o

      Delete
    9. Like who are you? U r so childish with your comment and I am sure when they say people with brain should come let's take selfie, u will show face..

      So cuz she came late, she has committed a crime?

      SMH... Let me reserve my comment...

      Delete
    10. Like breastfeeding him I guess. Or like changing his soaked up diaper, ryt?
      See as old man wet dey hustle for head of house dey throw tantrums like a 2 year old, shame you and the rest of your kind.
      And you will later call yourself a parent whereas you hate to be the one take care of your kids while your partner is barely 30mins behind schedule.
      You are not worthy to be called a parent you are just a sperm donor nothing more.

      Delete
    11. Hey God! This anon is definitely the same as the demented anon 15:06 above. May God keep good people far away from your kind.

      Delete
    12. Anonymous20 October 2018 at 15:35
      People dt will comment should be careful rushing to conclusions and blame d husband....
      This is a one sided story.
      The man is angry, as a wife, she needs to do something that will make him talk to her and say d problem.
      This woman must have said something really bad to d man in d course of d argument, hence, d need for his reaction. A woman with 3 kids can not come home 30mins late and expects d husband to commend her.
      If his engagement resulted into argument, then something is wrong and something is going through his mind.... To me, it is a form of retaliation... "Let us be Kuku be staying out and be doing Wat we like"...
      This is a one sided story, we should be careful in judging.

      am soooooo lost 4 word wit dz rubbish of ur's

      Delete
    13. Your husband seems angry that he can’t beat you again so he has resorted to other means to frustrate you. Ignore him.

      Delete
    14. If anything, he should’ve been worried that the wife was late.. and not angry. I don’t know the kind of men that you people marry. A man is supposed to protect, love and be a shield around his wife. Yet here, he is the one she needs protection from.

      There are no excuses whatever.
      Men should better know that their home is in their hands , because they are the heads. If they want it to work, be happy, prosperous and loving, then it will be because everywoman naturally desires her home in that state...

      And there is really no need to try to impress your ‘headship’ on the woman...because all you do shows who you are! Head, Priest, Leader.

      ...**hapily married for 12 years and couniting**and yes, I’m a man!!

      Delete
  13. If he doesn't eat your food stop cooking for him simple.
    If he doesn't come home, stop expecting him at home simple.
    Instead of running away, look after yourself and make new friends simple.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Madam your husband is cheating and wants out. Live with him as if you're single by placing your happiness and that of your children above his. Meanwhile always look good and show him what he is missing. He did not marry you to make his house girl.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I can't even believe that some people are blaming her for calling her brother to intervene against the beating and if those people blaming her are women then shame on them. Why must women always bear the blame for everything even when they're right? Poster you did nothing wrong. Try and be strong. Communicate with him and if there's no difference then ignore him. E be like say your husband don tire for the marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Na wa. The rate of pains in marriages only God can classify it.

    Stop begging him to eat. Did he give you the money to cook or your money. This one that hungry full land so.

    These type of men if you see them outside, you will be saying God bless me with this type but you won't know they are elefufu.

    If he comes talk to him. If he listens fine if not OYO.

    Just love your self and your children. Be there always for them.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Stellz this your heart to heart talk no just work for some men, anyway I believe before someone would send a chronicle they must've tried to have this heart to heart talk and failed.

    Poster, continue cooking oo and leave his food on the pot. Stop begging him, he's not your child abeg. It's good you reported him to your brother otherwise the beating would've continued.

    I hope you're working or doing something that fetches you money oo

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anon 15:06 you sound like a woman beater. Didnt you read where she said he beat her & her brother intervened? You want her to die first abi?
    Poster leave that man alone,let him go to where ever he wants,he will soon get tired & come back. If he doesnt return then its his loss,whats there sef? He beats you, no joy in that marriage, what you should do now is stop worrying & take it to God in prayer, one day your prayers will be answered. I'm assuming you have a source of income that can take care of you,make sure he provides for the kids & when he gets tired of fucking whores he will return & by then he might not meet you there again. foolish idiot husbands every where,feeling like gods.

    ReplyDelete
  19. @Anon 15:06. I'm the poster. I would have wished same for your daughter but God forbid!

    On the day I came 30mins late, I begged and until he decided to move out, there was NO argument or exchange of words.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Lmao my husband refused eating twice and buckled up. I stopped serving him food and started spending much time on myself. Dress up real nice, spend time on my phone in the evenings. The guys started looking for my face with the speed of light. I turned the whole table around, he started begging me to let everything go.

    Madam, leave him alone!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very irritates childish behaviour, I feel like slapping these special type of idiots.
      So called 'heads of household' who behave like tots.

      Delete
    2. *irritating

      Delete
  21. Its actually childish for a man to provide food for his home and then turn around to reject the delicious meal just because he was angry with his beloved wife.
    Refusing to eat your food is not the only means to express your grievances. Throwing tantrums and acting up like a spoilt kid is not the solution to problems.
    Madam, you have tried to pacify and cajole him. Let him be. Concentrate on your kids and career. When he's ready to settle his ish he will come home for discussion that should be between couple.
    Don't negotiate for any further talk again. If you do, next time he will do more than what he's doing now. If your brother had not warned him that man would have given you beating of a life time
    Some men behaving like boys.

    ReplyDelete
  22. No man can keep malice better than a Nigerian man,na dia small work be that,singles pray never to fall into the hands of such,the experience is better imagined and excruciatingly pathetic,poster learn to live for yourself and your kids,take your happiness away from his hands,while at this keep praying for him to change,be happy trust me he is not worth it,any stupid man that deems it fit to act this way doesn't deserve your attention one bit,live your life and keep taking it to God,I hope you are financially independent,cos if you are,you will easily overcome this pathetic situation,its well with you dear,shalom!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Stella, I could vow my Sister wrote this, because she is now a shadow of herself. She has lost her groove just because of her husband. She hardly comes to church, her spiritual life is now in ground zero, unlike her. Her business is now going down because she doesn't leave the house unless the guy says so. Her house is the one who runs the business(yes, it's that bad). Since She birthed their last child who is a year plus, it's obvious he wants her to be a house wife. She is practically a slave in her marriage. What loses themselves because of marriage. After my warning to the guy, I'm just watching him. Madam, if I hear another complain, I will come at that guy with everything in my arsenal and he won't know what hit him so hard, cos I have planned my next step. Most times, you don't have to play dumb to men, that is why he sees you as a weakling. Must you die in his hands before someone does something. I have kept quiet far too long cos I respect that institution called marriage but it's obvious he is a beast and who is gradually instilling that violence in the lives of my nephew and nieces. Because, I'm a third party, so I should keep cool and watch you die? That's not gonna happen Sis. And my annoyance with you is in the midst of the violence you have chosen to suffer in silence. See how painted a nice picture about him, just to avoid much criticism. And to think you saw these red flags, and you ignored cos you were drunk in love. You started licking his butt whilst you guys courted, so this is what you get for not laying a good marital foundation. I guess that's why you choose to die in silence. He has succeeded in isolating you away from family and friends. Speak up before its too late. Tho,you are always in my prayers.
    #Nuffsaid.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow you are a good brother...Please continue trying your very best for your sister. She needs you. I hope she is able to come out of this wahala. God bless you.

      I hope you too will be a good husband. A good husband is not a perfect person. It's someone who loves and is committed to his family. Puts them first. Realises his headship of the family is to serve not for self aggrandizement. Sure there will be quarrels and disagreements but it should never degenerate into insults and fisticuffs. No one is perfect but if there is true commitment a marriage can work

      Delete
  24. Pick yourself up my friend,YOU CAN DO IT ma,don't let this break you,dress good,smile more,go out a bit,lighten up abit,make your hair too,talk and play with your kids and PRAY for whatever you wish for,shebi he is your husband?he will come back home but don't let yourself be BROKEN,snap out of it for your kids sake!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No be u just talk "easier said than done now" ahn madam fear God ooo

      Delete
    2. @Lagos Shopper: Easier said than done!

      Delete
  25. Can't the husband enter the kitchen and prepare something and eat.Or better still take some snacks. No, he will be waiting for "cook ". What of the children? Oga thinks only for himself. Madam, if this your 30mins late is not a frequent occurrence and you have not done any other thing to warrant this his attitude, ignore him. I guess he has finally seen reason to go and meet his girlfriend. What kind of man will beat his wife and don't expect someone to stand up for her. Carry on with your life and be happy for yourself and children. I know it's hard but you can do it. If he still wants the marriage, he will definitely come back to his senses. Don't put your happiness in a man please.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He can't enter Kitchen o!
      A whole head of the house?
      A whole lord?
      A whole clown, sorry i mean kurown.
      It is beneath him na.
      How can.
      He would rather suck his thumb and shuffle his feet and go and eat at Iya Modinat's place or the nearest Iyalamala spot.
      Let the woman rub his head, rub his pot belly, massage his bum bum, and remember to change his diaper so that he will start eating again biko.

      Delete
  26. Growing up, my dad did this my mum eeeh. Ibused to pity that woman. My mum used to beg and stopped at some point.
    My husband knows he won't try that rubbish with me, in fact he should be the one begging me to eat. What nonsense!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I love men that keep malice. Na you go tire. My schedule makes it difficult to notice irritating behaviour. How can I ever be late? Me that I don't know when I will close from work or which kind traffic dey road? You check time for me at the risk of your bp. Me wey go don knock inside traffic. Na by force to off cloth and remove makeup before I collapse in a chair. DH will always wake me up to go to bed and even takes off my office cloth for me. Blessed are you if I get home at a godly enough hour to notice you haven't eaten talkless of making the food. Dear women you better know that if you are ready to die the man is ready to assist you. And Yes I have been married 15 years and counting....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had a good laugh. Nonsense and ingredients keep deceiving yourself @Anon 18:53

      Delete
    2. Hahahahaha.

      Delete
    3. Good for you, keep it up

      Delete
    4. @18:53 Chop knuckle...I had a good laugh..Afi ..My schedule makes it difficult to notice irritating behaviour.

      Delete
    5. It's true nàu. Moral of the story is get so busy that you barely take note of childish displays. Simple

      Delete
  28. Your husband is cheating on you! Living comfortably else where.

    You beg him to eat food? You are dying inside???? What the???? 30 minutes late?

    Never start what you can’t begin. My husband can’t try this with me. A grown ass man telling me a grown ass woman that I’m late?! Goodness. Won’t eat food? He will starve! nobody got time for that nonsense.

    Get your act together. Find out what he’s really up to. Stop taking his shit. You haven’t even changed the house locks. Tell him you are done! Don’t beg him for squat. Call his family. You are not in a marriage. He’s not going to respond to any of your questions so there’s no point asking. Focus on yourself. Your kids and job.

    If he sees you can move on without him that might make him running back. You beg him now and there will be no end. Let no man make you feel less than who you are. They don’t, do they?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me i just confuse. How cab she be closing 40 and still enable this madness? No make sense. Take this advice and change d locks.

      Delete
  29. Personally, I feel women enable this stupid, idiotic, moronic, childish behaviour.

    Is this the behaviour of an adult or a spoilt child for Heaven's sake???
    What manner of idiocy is this?
    The very first time you notice this egbeish rubbish, pack the motherfucking food and throw it away and ignore the bumbumclat.
    .
    That ignoring them pains them more than live coals upon their heads.

    How can you be begging a grown ass man to eat as if he is a bedwetting toddler?

    You as a woman don't you know you are as stupid as the man you are begging?

    If he does not eat the food will Heaven fa
    ll? Or will Angel Rapha count it against you? Or will your name be struck off the book of successful marriages? So you are pleading and crying for a grown ass man to eat?? To eat?
    TO FUCKING EAT? Buahahahahahahahahaha.

    Since he has refused to behave with sense, how is it now your headache?
    Mtshwwww.
    The oxband wants to enjoy the benefits of the lord of the manor while behaving like a breastfed baby. Iranu oshi.

    This is why most of you women are always looking haggard and dried up when you stand next to your husbands like all those strange seeds abokis sell in their rickety wheelbarrows. Then some will be looking like scrambled eggs, just scattered anyhow. Breasts waving at the navels. Every looking scattered, no definite form or shape.

    Abeg I dey sell adult pacifiers. Make una come buy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 20:07 You haff para no ni..bumbumclat...thou arth mouthed.. No mind dem women...

      Delete
    2. I need a like . My husband is the chairman of this association not until I changed it for him . Anytime he starts his tata attitude now I don't bother cooking for him, he enters the kitchen Na him dey give himself brain .

      Delete
    3. 😂😂😁😀😅😆

      Delete
  30. @anon 19:22 laugh at yourself. You are used to suffering and believe everyone is suffering with you. Some husbands have sense. And they are caring. If you cannot singlehandedly carry your family responsibility as a man then support your wife if she has to work. You think I will not like to watch telemundo and come and drop comment here? I have to work to support the family and I was not privileged to get a civil service job. So I will not kill myself rushing to keep to one unreasonable time line. And any man waiting for me to come and cook will starve before I get back. And you think I will ever have time to notice tantrums from a grown man. Continue in your suffering and keep laughing at yourself there!!!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Anonymous20 October 2018 at 15:06
    I will not jump into conclusion with this one sided story.
    Even your words gave you up. Instead of settling things with your husband, you brought your brother to threaten him. A third party in any marriage is a bad deal any day.

    If you do not want to stoop to conquer, you are definitely going to go down. The man is probably forking away somewhere . . .(wrong of course), but he is also probably avoiding a "nagging woman" at home by going to the "desert".


    Anonymous wit dz post...........u r juz a g8 disappointment; do u eva read well n digest b4 u start vomitting juz so it can luk lyk u say stin......mayb 4rm now on, u nid 2 first read n pour d post in ur brain b4 u make any comment!!!!!READ WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

    ReplyDelete
  32. Hmmm una get time o. Is he a baby that I’ll beg him to eat? U gave him that power that’s why he’s doing that. While I was dating my husband he tried this stupid thing one time, I did not beg him. I jejely ate the food in his front. The next day I didn’t ask him if he’ll eat sef, I finished the remaining food and washed dishes. Then I started making only my portion for like one week. It was him that came and apologized to me saying “other women want their man to eat but me it’s like Xmas for me if he doesn’t eat.” We got married in 2011 and Till today he has never tried it with me again. Us women need to study who we are with please, don’t let these egocentric men get to u.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Anon 15.06.Please see a therapist, you are suffering but don't know it. Your type always blames the woman, even when you are wrong you never admit. You always want attention because it is always about you.your type will abuse their partner emotionally and when she tries to speak up you see it as nagging.people like you will never understand love and how to love even when it is staring you in the face You are sick dear sir anon.please change. I am hoping you do not have kids and if you do worry for them

    ReplyDelete

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